Something else I did over the weekend at Alex' was watch Suicide Squad. Most of it. Well, part of it.
I could see some things in there that were good. Will Smith's personality didn't match a Floyd Lawton I was used to, but Floyd as he was presented in the '80s comics might have been a hard sell to audiences. And I tend to like Will Smith, so it's fine. Margot Robbie was Harley was OK, in that I thought she did well with what the film gave her. That feeling Harley's almost always either a) amusing herself, or b) trying to play everyone. Jai Courtney as Captain Boomerang, had some of the naked self-interest and sleaziness I enjoyed with old Boomerbutt, but maybe I missed the points where he showed more of Boomer's dangerous side.
I'm not sure why they went the direction they did with Enchantress (Cara Delevingne), with that outfit, and the swaying, and at one point I think she started talking in rhyme. Did they figure the look with the pointy witch hat was too silly? Or did they not want Margot Robbie to get lonely with the sexualization? Especially strange given her brother was this giant, almost armored, fiery looking guy. Hard to see the relation. Viola Davis did alright with what she was given as Amanda Waller, though, again, not quite all that I was hoping for. The whole bit with the binder full of files on the characters was kind of clunky as a expository device, but that's not Davis' fault. I did end up skipping the next bit of the film after that because I'd read that they go over all that stuff again right afterwards, which seemed stupid and pointless (I think I was also watching Star Trek Beyond and Jazz vs. Clippers at the time).
Every scene with Jared Leto in it was unpleasant. He's trying for this effect, but it's too obvious he's trying with how he moves to emphasize certain things. Course, I didn't see any point to having Joker in a damn Suicide Squad movie anyway. I know they figured it would goose interest to have a villain the public at large knows, I just don't care about that line of thinking. If we're dealing with a universe where Mistah J actually gives a shit about Harley as this one does, Waller wouldn't be stupid enough to put Harley on her team where she'd have to expect Joker to show up. In the comics, where the Joker would be too busy trying to kill Batman to care, she might try it, but here it's just a dumb decision.
Beyond that, I wasn't sure how much characterization was the movie and how much was me filling in gaps with stuff I know from comics. I thought it looked as though Diablo and Killer Croc might be turning into pals at one point, Diablo being the one who wasn't going to tease Croc about his appearance, but I'm not sure about that. I think, given time, this was a combination of characters that could make something interesting, but it didn't come together. Maybe use the time wasted on Joker on some of the rest of the cast instead.
I do appreciate that they went with a weird kind of threat, with an evil spirit possessing someone and trying to form a gateway back to her dimension and rule both. That's kind of out there, not mundane, not bickering about politics, so credit for going for something there, even if I'm not sure that's really a good mission for the Squad. It seems more like the kind of clusterfuck that would develop abruptly during some other, slightly more grounded mission they went on. Trying to stop some rival government's metahuman force and things get out of hand. Still, it was something.
I guess at some point I should try to watch the whole thing in one go and see if I like it any better, but it's hard to get fired up at the prospect of doing so.
Tuesday, April 18, 2017
Monday, April 17, 2017
Just Arguing About Smashmouth In Cracker Barrell
Spent the weekend at Alex, so did not get as much done as I intended, but it was a good weekend. On Saturday, we were having breakfast with one of his other friends on who was hanging out with us, and a music argument started up.
I don't remember how it started, but Darren was speaking disparagingly of the music of the '80s and '90s, and the 2000s as well, he was undecided which of the three were the two worst decades for music. Especially in comparison. For the record, Darren's a little younger than me, so it isn't as though he grew up through the '60s or '70s, which he touted as being much better. He seemed annoyed especially by what he felt was a large number of one-hit wonders.
Anyway, he somehow settled on Smashmouth as indicative of everything bad about the more recent eras, because they made, quote, 'the douchiest song possible,' which I think was a reference to "All-Star", but could have been "Walking on the Sun". That everything was about just trying to cobble together something that would be super-popular, and there was no artistic drive involved.
Which, hell, could be true, probably even is true, but I countered - out of contrariness than any desire to defend Smashmouth - by asking if he believed that, for example, Creedance Clearwater Revival had made every one of their songs from a place of deep artistic vision. He conceded the point, sort of, though he and Alex both argued that CCR was writing their own songs, and there weren't a bunch of producers involved.
Again, sure, that's true for all I know. And I'm not going to try to argue for Smashmouth over CCR, but that wasn't really what I was interested in. I was more interested in the idea that the music from before Darren was alive was better than the stuff he lived through. It reminded me of the discussions about pitchers I see in baseball arguments. About why pitchers today can't throw as many innings as pitchers used to. But the arguments - while also ignoring differences in the game, ballpark dimensions, tape study, better drugs, whatever - cite the few pitchers who were able to do that. The Bob Gibsons, the Nolan Ryans, and so on, but ignore the legions of pitchers who were contemporaries of those guys who never came close. Who managed one, maybe two of those years, and then collapsed, or the guys who blew out their arms in the minors and never got close.
Survivorship bias. We look back and see the pitchers or bands that made it and think that's all there was. But for the stuff we lived through, we remember the ones who didn't have sticking power, and so there seems like a much lower percentage of big successes. Darren remembers all these one-hit wonders and bands he liked when he was younger he now knows were terrible, and sees an ocean of crap. But if he'd been alive in the 1960s, he'd have encountered a bunch of different bands he would have loved that faded into obscurity or that he hated once he got older.
Which doesn't dismiss his feelings about Smashmouth, but it was a discussion I enjoyed. Plus it prompted Alex to pose a poll online about Smashmouth vs. CCR just to tweak Darren, which CCR ultimately came from behind to win (after Darren posed a video of Alex scratching "Down on the Corner" on his turntables), which was funny to me.
I don't remember how it started, but Darren was speaking disparagingly of the music of the '80s and '90s, and the 2000s as well, he was undecided which of the three were the two worst decades for music. Especially in comparison. For the record, Darren's a little younger than me, so it isn't as though he grew up through the '60s or '70s, which he touted as being much better. He seemed annoyed especially by what he felt was a large number of one-hit wonders.
Anyway, he somehow settled on Smashmouth as indicative of everything bad about the more recent eras, because they made, quote, 'the douchiest song possible,' which I think was a reference to "All-Star", but could have been "Walking on the Sun". That everything was about just trying to cobble together something that would be super-popular, and there was no artistic drive involved.
Which, hell, could be true, probably even is true, but I countered - out of contrariness than any desire to defend Smashmouth - by asking if he believed that, for example, Creedance Clearwater Revival had made every one of their songs from a place of deep artistic vision. He conceded the point, sort of, though he and Alex both argued that CCR was writing their own songs, and there weren't a bunch of producers involved.
Again, sure, that's true for all I know. And I'm not going to try to argue for Smashmouth over CCR, but that wasn't really what I was interested in. I was more interested in the idea that the music from before Darren was alive was better than the stuff he lived through. It reminded me of the discussions about pitchers I see in baseball arguments. About why pitchers today can't throw as many innings as pitchers used to. But the arguments - while also ignoring differences in the game, ballpark dimensions, tape study, better drugs, whatever - cite the few pitchers who were able to do that. The Bob Gibsons, the Nolan Ryans, and so on, but ignore the legions of pitchers who were contemporaries of those guys who never came close. Who managed one, maybe two of those years, and then collapsed, or the guys who blew out their arms in the minors and never got close.
Survivorship bias. We look back and see the pitchers or bands that made it and think that's all there was. But for the stuff we lived through, we remember the ones who didn't have sticking power, and so there seems like a much lower percentage of big successes. Darren remembers all these one-hit wonders and bands he liked when he was younger he now knows were terrible, and sees an ocean of crap. But if he'd been alive in the 1960s, he'd have encountered a bunch of different bands he would have loved that faded into obscurity or that he hated once he got older.
Which doesn't dismiss his feelings about Smashmouth, but it was a discussion I enjoyed. Plus it prompted Alex to pose a poll online about Smashmouth vs. CCR just to tweak Darren, which CCR ultimately came from behind to win (after Darren posed a video of Alex scratching "Down on the Corner" on his turntables), which was funny to me.
Sunday, April 16, 2017
Earthworm Jim 1.4 - Day of the Fish
Plot: We open with Jim and Peter in peril from the Queen and I'm not typing that name. They escape thanks to the suit's little known inflation capability causing a chain reaction. After, as Jim plays cards with some other heroes, he grouses at the lack of heroic deeds to accomplish. So when Peter announces they're out of sugar, Jim leaps at the chance to acquire some from the nearest planet.
Unfortunately, that planet is La Planeta de Agua, ruled by Bob the Fish, who is himself bemoaning both his lack of arms and the useless stupidity of his fish subjects. Jim's arrival offers a solution. Also, dinner. Jim initially overcomes Bob's cat goons, but is caught by surprise and set to be cooked while Bob uses his suit to conquer Earth. But the cat cook is an idiot, and Bob left Jim's rocket behind, so Jim can rush to confront Bob at what the fish assumed was the seat of the world government, the World's Largest Aquarium (just so happens to be in Jim's town of Turlawk). Jim succeeds in reclaiming his suit thanks to the power of higher education, defeats Bob, and returns to his compatriots, with no sugar.
In the mid-show interlude, Evil the Cat faces a horrible disappointment in the world of love.
Quote of the Episode: Bob - 'How many times have I told you, I am not to be used as a projectile!'
Times Peter transforms: 0 (3 overall):
Cow? Yes.
Other: Turns out Jim is an excellent poker player, which I wouldn't have expected. He doesn't seem like he could bluff effectively.
So Bob's planet's name is pronounced in Spanish (and always followed by a shout of "Arriba!" from so unseen voice), but Bob has a distinctly Southern good ol' boy accent. Which feels like some kind of commentary, especially given Bob's inflated sense of his own importance and tendency to expect others to compensate for his shortcomings. Also the fact that the fish don't seem to pay much mind, or don't understand, anything Bob is trying to accomplish. They'll float there are listen, but they don't do anything. Bob could only be ruler of a world filled with inhabitants too dumb to know what he's saying or be able to doing anything with it one way or the other.
The poor cat tasked with cooking Jim at least made an understandable failure. Who among us hasn't tried to prepare a dish by simply substituting the thing we're cooking in place of some other ingredient? He just messed up which half of "pot roast" needed to be replaced with "worm".
They introduced the Aquarium by comparing it to another failed civic works project in Terlawk, a world-class university, still waiting for its first student. I figured it was a one-off joke about the folly of small towns trying to ill-advised projects to boost the economy, but it actually played into the story beyond that.
Unfortunately, that planet is La Planeta de Agua, ruled by Bob the Fish, who is himself bemoaning both his lack of arms and the useless stupidity of his fish subjects. Jim's arrival offers a solution. Also, dinner. Jim initially overcomes Bob's cat goons, but is caught by surprise and set to be cooked while Bob uses his suit to conquer Earth. But the cat cook is an idiot, and Bob left Jim's rocket behind, so Jim can rush to confront Bob at what the fish assumed was the seat of the world government, the World's Largest Aquarium (just so happens to be in Jim's town of Turlawk). Jim succeeds in reclaiming his suit thanks to the power of higher education, defeats Bob, and returns to his compatriots, with no sugar.
In the mid-show interlude, Evil the Cat faces a horrible disappointment in the world of love.
Quote of the Episode: Bob - 'How many times have I told you, I am not to be used as a projectile!'
Times Peter transforms: 0 (3 overall):
Cow? Yes.
Other: Turns out Jim is an excellent poker player, which I wouldn't have expected. He doesn't seem like he could bluff effectively.
So Bob's planet's name is pronounced in Spanish (and always followed by a shout of "Arriba!" from so unseen voice), but Bob has a distinctly Southern good ol' boy accent. Which feels like some kind of commentary, especially given Bob's inflated sense of his own importance and tendency to expect others to compensate for his shortcomings. Also the fact that the fish don't seem to pay much mind, or don't understand, anything Bob is trying to accomplish. They'll float there are listen, but they don't do anything. Bob could only be ruler of a world filled with inhabitants too dumb to know what he's saying or be able to doing anything with it one way or the other.
The poor cat tasked with cooking Jim at least made an understandable failure. Who among us hasn't tried to prepare a dish by simply substituting the thing we're cooking in place of some other ingredient? He just messed up which half of "pot roast" needed to be replaced with "worm".
They introduced the Aquarium by comparing it to another failed civic works project in Terlawk, a world-class university, still waiting for its first student. I figured it was a one-off joke about the folly of small towns trying to ill-advised projects to boost the economy, but it actually played into the story beyond that.
Friday, April 14, 2017
What I Bought 4/12/2017
Only able to get one out of three books this week. Make do with what we've got.
Unbelievable Gwenpool #14, by Christopher Hastings (writer), Myisha Haynes (artist), Rachelle Rosenberg (color artist), Clayton Cowles (letterer) - Can't decide if Gwen actually paid for that stuff or not. Although I'm also not sure who Kate is aiming at. The angle of the arrow doesn't really line up with Gwen, but that seems to be who Kate is looking at.
Gwen asks Sarah if she can at least give Gwen's dead friend Cecil the ability to interact with the physical realm again, if not bring him back to life. Sarah can't, but she can detect a possible solution, and provides a portal to it. The solution is a gem, held by a bunch of dwarves in Los Angeles, being tracked by Kate Bishop. Unfortunately, Sarah's portal leaves Gwen and Cecil trapped in the trunk of a car. How can an incorporeal spirit be trapped in a car? It's the Ghost Rider's car, as he's also after the dwarves. The whole thing turns into a mess, and Cecil winds up trapped in the gem, which Ghost Rider takes off with. So Kate and Gwen will try tracking him down, and hopefully Cecil doesn't listen to the Spirit of Vengeance talking to him inside the gem.
Gwen seems to be trying to make amends for her poor and hasty decisions at the start of the series, but at the precise moment some of her other decisions are about to come back to haunt her. Not just what happened to Cecil, but also what she had Dr. Strange do to give herself a history in that world. Is it a case of how sometimes you make the best choice you can under a deadline, and have to deal with the consequences, or is it that Gwen failed to even consider the possibility of consequences? She thinks it's all a fiction, a gave she can manipulate because she thinks she knows the rules. And I think what Hastings is doing is showing there are rules in play Gwen either didn't realize existed, or didn't stop to factor in.
Haynes' art seems more simplified than it was in issue 11. That might be the thicker lines that are getting used at least part of the time. The pages with those definitely have a rougher look to them than some of the others. I thought the page where Gwen leaps into the bathtub portal looked really good, but the shading and level of detail just doesn't look as good on most other pages. The action sequences are kind of stiff. Ghost Rider seems unable to bend any of his joints in a more than minimal amount. he's swinging around these chains, but there's no sense of any exertion or movement. Ghost Rider seems like the biggest problem, and I wonder if Haynes just struggles with the character. And I have a similar feeling about Rosenberg's colors, which makes me think one of the two is affecting the other, and I can't tell which way it's going. Again though, the colors seem flatter in the second half of the book, so maybe the whole thing was rushed.
Taken on its own, not a good issue. As the starting point in a larger story, it puts a couple of interesting pieces in place. I wasn't really dying to see Gwen interact with Kate Bishop or Robbie Reyes.
Unbelievable Gwenpool #14, by Christopher Hastings (writer), Myisha Haynes (artist), Rachelle Rosenberg (color artist), Clayton Cowles (letterer) - Can't decide if Gwen actually paid for that stuff or not. Although I'm also not sure who Kate is aiming at. The angle of the arrow doesn't really line up with Gwen, but that seems to be who Kate is looking at.Gwen asks Sarah if she can at least give Gwen's dead friend Cecil the ability to interact with the physical realm again, if not bring him back to life. Sarah can't, but she can detect a possible solution, and provides a portal to it. The solution is a gem, held by a bunch of dwarves in Los Angeles, being tracked by Kate Bishop. Unfortunately, Sarah's portal leaves Gwen and Cecil trapped in the trunk of a car. How can an incorporeal spirit be trapped in a car? It's the Ghost Rider's car, as he's also after the dwarves. The whole thing turns into a mess, and Cecil winds up trapped in the gem, which Ghost Rider takes off with. So Kate and Gwen will try tracking him down, and hopefully Cecil doesn't listen to the Spirit of Vengeance talking to him inside the gem.
Gwen seems to be trying to make amends for her poor and hasty decisions at the start of the series, but at the precise moment some of her other decisions are about to come back to haunt her. Not just what happened to Cecil, but also what she had Dr. Strange do to give herself a history in that world. Is it a case of how sometimes you make the best choice you can under a deadline, and have to deal with the consequences, or is it that Gwen failed to even consider the possibility of consequences? She thinks it's all a fiction, a gave she can manipulate because she thinks she knows the rules. And I think what Hastings is doing is showing there are rules in play Gwen either didn't realize existed, or didn't stop to factor in.
Haynes' art seems more simplified than it was in issue 11. That might be the thicker lines that are getting used at least part of the time. The pages with those definitely have a rougher look to them than some of the others. I thought the page where Gwen leaps into the bathtub portal looked really good, but the shading and level of detail just doesn't look as good on most other pages. The action sequences are kind of stiff. Ghost Rider seems unable to bend any of his joints in a more than minimal amount. he's swinging around these chains, but there's no sense of any exertion or movement. Ghost Rider seems like the biggest problem, and I wonder if Haynes just struggles with the character. And I have a similar feeling about Rosenberg's colors, which makes me think one of the two is affecting the other, and I can't tell which way it's going. Again though, the colors seem flatter in the second half of the book, so maybe the whole thing was rushed.
Taken on its own, not a good issue. As the starting point in a larger story, it puts a couple of interesting pieces in place. I wasn't really dying to see Gwen interact with Kate Bishop or Robbie Reyes.
Thursday, April 13, 2017
Escalation Will Bring It To This Point Eventually
Yesterday a coworker and I started discussing the upcoming 8th Fast & the Furious movie. I can't remember what prompted it, but we got into talking about the constant search for new ridiculous sequences - from tanks, to massive cargo planes, to jumping between skyscrapers, now fighting a submarine - compared to where it started. My coworker mentioned it started to get really crazy once they added the Rock, and I mentioned they added Jason Statham*.
So my coworker said he wished they put Statham in as his character from The Transporter films, do an official crossover. I said sure, Automotive Movie Shared Universe, and let's throw in the Mad Max films***.
Then he suggested adding in Cars, which in retrospect, I don't know. We're going to give the cars sentience with the crazy stuff these characters put them through? Lightning McQueen was capable of feeling pain, right? But at the time I said, in that case we should throw in the Transformers movies to which, was a terrible idea, no reason to taint these other franchises with a Wahlberg.
Still, putting Dom and his family against a bunch of sentient machine-based lifeforms that are also ancient engines of destruction would also qualify as the next logical step in the series.
Maybe "logical" isn't the right word.
* I found myself rooting for him in the last movie, even though he was the bad guy, because he's fighting Vin Diesel and the Rock, and those guys are way bigger than him. I mean, the Rock is like three times bigger than Statham, it's hard not to root for the relatively little guy up against the dude with a bicep the size of Montana, even if the little guy did start it**.
** Assuming that you don't buy, "You killed my brother while stopping his various criminal enterprises" as a valid justification for Statham's character's actions.
*** Which came to mind because The Ringer had an article up about their suggestions for the next four films in the Fast & Furious series, and while I didn't bother to read the article, the image they had to accompany the link was of Vin Diesel and Charlize Theron as Furiosa from Fury Road.
So my coworker said he wished they put Statham in as his character from The Transporter films, do an official crossover. I said sure, Automotive Movie Shared Universe, and let's throw in the Mad Max films***.
Then he suggested adding in Cars, which in retrospect, I don't know. We're going to give the cars sentience with the crazy stuff these characters put them through? Lightning McQueen was capable of feeling pain, right? But at the time I said, in that case we should throw in the Transformers movies to which, was a terrible idea, no reason to taint these other franchises with a Wahlberg.
Still, putting Dom and his family against a bunch of sentient machine-based lifeforms that are also ancient engines of destruction would also qualify as the next logical step in the series.
Maybe "logical" isn't the right word.
* I found myself rooting for him in the last movie, even though he was the bad guy, because he's fighting Vin Diesel and the Rock, and those guys are way bigger than him. I mean, the Rock is like three times bigger than Statham, it's hard not to root for the relatively little guy up against the dude with a bicep the size of Montana, even if the little guy did start it**.
** Assuming that you don't buy, "You killed my brother while stopping his various criminal enterprises" as a valid justification for Statham's character's actions.
*** Which came to mind because The Ringer had an article up about their suggestions for the next four films in the Fast & Furious series, and while I didn't bother to read the article, the image they had to accompany the link was of Vin Diesel and Charlize Theron as Furiosa from Fury Road.
Wednesday, April 12, 2017
What I Bought 4/4 and 4/7/2017
Couple more books from last week. One is wrapping up a mini-series of sorts, and the other was me giving the second issue of an ongoing a chance.
Avengers #5.1, by Mark Waid (writer), Barry Kitson, Mark Bagley, Sean Izaakse, and Ro Stein (pencilers), Mark Farmer, Scott Hanna, Mike Perkins, Ted Brandt, Sean Izaakse, and Drew Hennessy (inkers), Jordan Boyd, Matt Tackey and Wil Quintana (colorists), Ferran Delgado (letterer) - After last issue I wondered how many people they'd need for the next issue, but I didn't envision it would get this bad. 4 pencilers, 6 inkers, and 3 colorists. For one 20 page comic. Jesus Christ.
As it turns out, the Kooky Quartet was only mostly dead, but the remaining Original Four helped them fake their funeral as a trap so they could take down Cressida themselves. Easier said than done since she's copied their powers for a bit, but she makes the number 1 mistake Avengers' foes make: She dismissed Hawkeye. Exhausted and disoriented, she runs, straight into the remainder of the Frightful Four, who take a little vengeance. I assume this all ties in with the story Waid and Michael del Mundo are doing in Avengers Whole Numbers with Kang, but I have no idea how. So from my perspective it's a fun but inessential little story, which is fine.
But the art is a mess. The coloring shifts wildly from one page to the next. The sequence starting with the funeral up to the point the battle moves into the mansion is in this color scheme dominated by blues where all the characters faces are extremely pale. Then you turn a page and the colors have shifted to something much brighter. But it also signals a change in artist, and the faces take on a distinctly unfinished look. And the shifts continue like that throughout. At least everyone has a sufficiently distinct design there aren't any problems telling who's who, but it definitely disrupts the flow of things. Not exactly sticking the landing there.
Iron Fist #2, by Ed Brisson (writer), Mike Perkins (artist), Andy Troy (color artist), Travis Lanham (letterer) - Here we see Danny entering the section of town known as "Artist is Running Behind and Hasn't Drawn It Yet". It's very quaint in how old-fashioned it is, nothing there, just like in the moments before the universe came into existence. Can't get more old-fashioned than that.
The island of Liu-Shi has several Masters, and Danny is being set against them one at a time. A mysterious Master Wolf waits at the end, though Danny doesn't look as though he'll get past the Master Rat at this rate. Also, his chi is being reignited by the fact he's somehow absorbing the chi of the masters he defeats. Which is creepy and really should have triggered the warning bells, but this Danny seems like a junkie, jonesing for his power back. This is all part of Liu-Shi's plan to take K'un-Lun's place as the 7th City of the Heavens. Will it start only connecting to Earth every 7 years if it manages that?
Danny losing his chi isn't unusual. Davos seems to steal it away every six months, which forces Danny to get it back simply so Davos doesn't kill people with it. But Danny's rarely shown as someone desperate to get it back. It's a burden on him, that he'd just a soon be free of. Instead of having the expectations of his parents, he has the expectations of this entire, strange city weighing on him, while still regarding him as an outsider. The fact Danny frankly sucks as a protector doesn't help. His first opponent called him a fraud, and he's got some points. Danny's the first Iron Fist not to win the Tournament of the Heavens and he lost in the first round, the first match. K'un-Lun's been destroyed how many times on his watch?
So having a Danny rushing into this to get the power back, with no issues about what might be happening to the fighters whose chi he absorbs (didn't Davos nearly kill him doing that once?), it's not a great look for him. And doesn't he draw his chi from somewhere? It's not a supply within him, it's a vast ocean that's he's connected to and can pull from. Drawing from these guys shouldn't be doing anything to undo whatever is blocking him from that.
Artwise, Perkins and Andy Troy are doing a couple of interesting things. When Danny enters the village to fight the Rat Master, the final panel on one page the border is red, and the red extends into the panel to fill the outlines of the rats that are coming at Danny from both sides. On the next page, as Danny gets tossed around, the Master's hand is in the panel, but as an outline with no color or detail. A white void. I won't say I understand the significance of it, since his hands are colored in for the panels before and after that one, so maybe it's just a mistake, but it's distinctive. A presence announced by absence, something not right or out of place. Beyond that, a lot of shadows, heavy use of black in most scenes, a dark book. Fits with the story.
The fight with the first Master varied in pacing a bit. The early stage, when Danny's mostly getting trounced, had more of that interrupted, here are a series of moments feel, and as the fight goes on it gets more into one panel leading to the next and then the next. I wouldn't call it great fight choreography, but there's not much back and forth. The Master kicks Danny's ass until Danny dodges one punch, then unleashes his own barrage that wins the day.
As usual, my curiosity about where things might go is grappling with my feeling that I'm not really digging it enough right now over whether to stick around to find out.
Avengers #5.1, by Mark Waid (writer), Barry Kitson, Mark Bagley, Sean Izaakse, and Ro Stein (pencilers), Mark Farmer, Scott Hanna, Mike Perkins, Ted Brandt, Sean Izaakse, and Drew Hennessy (inkers), Jordan Boyd, Matt Tackey and Wil Quintana (colorists), Ferran Delgado (letterer) - After last issue I wondered how many people they'd need for the next issue, but I didn't envision it would get this bad. 4 pencilers, 6 inkers, and 3 colorists. For one 20 page comic. Jesus Christ.As it turns out, the Kooky Quartet was only mostly dead, but the remaining Original Four helped them fake their funeral as a trap so they could take down Cressida themselves. Easier said than done since she's copied their powers for a bit, but she makes the number 1 mistake Avengers' foes make: She dismissed Hawkeye. Exhausted and disoriented, she runs, straight into the remainder of the Frightful Four, who take a little vengeance. I assume this all ties in with the story Waid and Michael del Mundo are doing in Avengers Whole Numbers with Kang, but I have no idea how. So from my perspective it's a fun but inessential little story, which is fine.
But the art is a mess. The coloring shifts wildly from one page to the next. The sequence starting with the funeral up to the point the battle moves into the mansion is in this color scheme dominated by blues where all the characters faces are extremely pale. Then you turn a page and the colors have shifted to something much brighter. But it also signals a change in artist, and the faces take on a distinctly unfinished look. And the shifts continue like that throughout. At least everyone has a sufficiently distinct design there aren't any problems telling who's who, but it definitely disrupts the flow of things. Not exactly sticking the landing there.
Iron Fist #2, by Ed Brisson (writer), Mike Perkins (artist), Andy Troy (color artist), Travis Lanham (letterer) - Here we see Danny entering the section of town known as "Artist is Running Behind and Hasn't Drawn It Yet". It's very quaint in how old-fashioned it is, nothing there, just like in the moments before the universe came into existence. Can't get more old-fashioned than that.The island of Liu-Shi has several Masters, and Danny is being set against them one at a time. A mysterious Master Wolf waits at the end, though Danny doesn't look as though he'll get past the Master Rat at this rate. Also, his chi is being reignited by the fact he's somehow absorbing the chi of the masters he defeats. Which is creepy and really should have triggered the warning bells, but this Danny seems like a junkie, jonesing for his power back. This is all part of Liu-Shi's plan to take K'un-Lun's place as the 7th City of the Heavens. Will it start only connecting to Earth every 7 years if it manages that?
Danny losing his chi isn't unusual. Davos seems to steal it away every six months, which forces Danny to get it back simply so Davos doesn't kill people with it. But Danny's rarely shown as someone desperate to get it back. It's a burden on him, that he'd just a soon be free of. Instead of having the expectations of his parents, he has the expectations of this entire, strange city weighing on him, while still regarding him as an outsider. The fact Danny frankly sucks as a protector doesn't help. His first opponent called him a fraud, and he's got some points. Danny's the first Iron Fist not to win the Tournament of the Heavens and he lost in the first round, the first match. K'un-Lun's been destroyed how many times on his watch?
So having a Danny rushing into this to get the power back, with no issues about what might be happening to the fighters whose chi he absorbs (didn't Davos nearly kill him doing that once?), it's not a great look for him. And doesn't he draw his chi from somewhere? It's not a supply within him, it's a vast ocean that's he's connected to and can pull from. Drawing from these guys shouldn't be doing anything to undo whatever is blocking him from that.
Artwise, Perkins and Andy Troy are doing a couple of interesting things. When Danny enters the village to fight the Rat Master, the final panel on one page the border is red, and the red extends into the panel to fill the outlines of the rats that are coming at Danny from both sides. On the next page, as Danny gets tossed around, the Master's hand is in the panel, but as an outline with no color or detail. A white void. I won't say I understand the significance of it, since his hands are colored in for the panels before and after that one, so maybe it's just a mistake, but it's distinctive. A presence announced by absence, something not right or out of place. Beyond that, a lot of shadows, heavy use of black in most scenes, a dark book. Fits with the story.
The fight with the first Master varied in pacing a bit. The early stage, when Danny's mostly getting trounced, had more of that interrupted, here are a series of moments feel, and as the fight goes on it gets more into one panel leading to the next and then the next. I wouldn't call it great fight choreography, but there's not much back and forth. The Master kicks Danny's ass until Danny dodges one punch, then unleashes his own barrage that wins the day.
As usual, my curiosity about where things might go is grappling with my feeling that I'm not really digging it enough right now over whether to stick around to find out.
Tuesday, April 11, 2017
The Things I Base Canon On
Until a couple months ago, I never even considered that Han Solo was bullshitting with his "Kessell Run in less than 12 parsecs" line from the first Star Wars. Part of that is probably because it's Harrison Ford. I expect that of course his character can do cool shit like, make a smuggling run in a shorter distance than anyone else. Well, it sounded cooler when he said it.
And there was the time Morgan Webb on X-Play explained that the "12 parsecs" works because the Kessell region is a star cluster with intense gravity which can disrupt hyperspace travel, but the Millenium Falcon was fast enough to fly closer than most ships without that happening. Like if you can run fast enough to run across a lake as opposed to having to go around. Anyway, it seemed like a perfectly reasonable (by comic book quasi-science standards) explanation to me.
Beyond that, the spaceships have always been the part of Star Wars I was most interested in. The same thing that made me interested in World War II aviation. Speed, maneuverability, freedom. The two pieces of Star Wars related things I own are Star Wars: Rogue Squadron for the N64 and The Essential Guide to Vehicles and Vessels. The latter was an interesting window into the various books that made up the Expanded Universe, but more relevant to this, the book said the Millennium Falcon had a 0.5 hyperdrive rating, which was the best of anything they listed. So that meant it was the fastest, which meant Solo's claim was legit.
You think I'd have read the backs of enough superhero trading cards to know not to trust such things, but here we are.
As it turns out, the script for the film outright says Obi-Wan is unimpressed by this obvious and poor attempt at bragging. It's meant to be bullshit on Han's part, him trying to impress what he thinks are a couple of rubes. Which, it fits with Solo as not being nearly as cool or as clever as he thinks he is, but it's still a letdown. The Internet: Ruining Everything You Enjoy A Little More Each Day.
I guess I could tell myself the ship can manage it, Solo just never tried it, only considered. Or he did make it, but it was sheer luck or a complete accident rather than any great skill on his part or the ship's. And being Han Solo, he naturally tries to pass off a total fluke as going exactly as planned (while Chewbacca tries his best not to have terrible flashbacks nearly dying on that run).
And there was the time Morgan Webb on X-Play explained that the "12 parsecs" works because the Kessell region is a star cluster with intense gravity which can disrupt hyperspace travel, but the Millenium Falcon was fast enough to fly closer than most ships without that happening. Like if you can run fast enough to run across a lake as opposed to having to go around. Anyway, it seemed like a perfectly reasonable (by comic book quasi-science standards) explanation to me.
Beyond that, the spaceships have always been the part of Star Wars I was most interested in. The same thing that made me interested in World War II aviation. Speed, maneuverability, freedom. The two pieces of Star Wars related things I own are Star Wars: Rogue Squadron for the N64 and The Essential Guide to Vehicles and Vessels. The latter was an interesting window into the various books that made up the Expanded Universe, but more relevant to this, the book said the Millennium Falcon had a 0.5 hyperdrive rating, which was the best of anything they listed. So that meant it was the fastest, which meant Solo's claim was legit.
You think I'd have read the backs of enough superhero trading cards to know not to trust such things, but here we are.
As it turns out, the script for the film outright says Obi-Wan is unimpressed by this obvious and poor attempt at bragging. It's meant to be bullshit on Han's part, him trying to impress what he thinks are a couple of rubes. Which, it fits with Solo as not being nearly as cool or as clever as he thinks he is, but it's still a letdown. The Internet: Ruining Everything You Enjoy A Little More Each Day.
I guess I could tell myself the ship can manage it, Solo just never tried it, only considered. Or he did make it, but it was sheer luck or a complete accident rather than any great skill on his part or the ship's. And being Han Solo, he naturally tries to pass off a total fluke as going exactly as planned (while Chewbacca tries his best not to have terrible flashbacks nearly dying on that run).
Monday, April 10, 2017
A Fine Day For A Trip To The Ballpark
Out of the blue last week my dad asked if I wanted to go to a Cardinals' game. After much struggling on his part getting the tickets bought, we headed out on Saturday. The weather was excellent, the traffic wasn't too bad. We wound up sitting a level closer to the field than we have in the last few games we attended. More critically, the people around us weren't constantly getting up all through the game, in contrast to our experience last summer.
The Cardinals beat the crap out of the Reds, which was nice. Nothing against the Reds, just nice to see a win, especially with the Cardinals on a three-game losing streak going into the game. Michael Wacha started, which was cause for concern. Wacha got consistently battered last season, and was effectively useless the last two months of the 2015 season. He's probably only in the rotation because Alex Reyes had Tommy John surgery at the start of Spring Training. But outside of a rough three-batter stretch in the 4th inning, where Wacha got the ball up and each batter made solid contact, he cruised. Even Matt Adams badly misplaying a ball in the second inning, netting Zach Cozart a triple, didn't come back to bite him.
But Matt Adams in left field, yeesh. The general manager said at the end of last season the team needed to focus on shoring up their defense, which was shit last year. Signing Dexter Fowler and moving Randal Grichuk to left was meant to be a move in that direction. But with Stephen Piscotty out, and Grichuk moved to right field, Incompetent Boob Manager Mike Matheny is playing Matt Adams in left. Keep in mind Adams has only played at first base since he reached the majors in 2012, and Matheny has been his manager that entire time, and should therefore, you know, remember that. And he has a backup outfielder on the team, Jose Martinez, but no, play the converted first baseman in the outfield.
As if keeping up with the Cubs wasn't going to be hard enough, the Cards handicap themselves with this dumbass manager.
On the plus side of the ledger, the Reds trotted out Bronson Arroyo and his 85 mph fastball to start. And Aledmys Diaz was the second batter to face him and put one over the fence. Then did it again in the 4th, with two men on, in almost the exact same place. There was one sequence that was pretty funny, when Grichuk lead off the 4th and ultimately struck out. Arroyo kept throwing pitches either in the mid-80s or mid-70s, and Grichuk was out in front of ever single one. It was like he thought Arroyo could rear back and throw 95 and kept expecting him to do it.
Anyway, Arroyo lasted 4 innings, and then was pinch hit for by another pitcher, which was curious. Brandon Finnegan hasn't distinguished himself as a hitter, but maybe the manager was determined to give some guys the day off, even from pinch-hitting. They brought in Robert Stephenson, who sounds like a random player generated by a video game, and he proceeded to walk 6 batters in less than two innings. The Cards let him off the hook in the 5th, but were able to scrape together a few hits in the 6th among the walks to drive in 3 more runs. After that, Wandy Peralta came in and got the Reds through the 7th unscathed, but Drew Storen gave up another run in the 8th.
Being up 9-1 by the end of the 6th allowed the Cardinals to sub out a lot of their starters, which means Molina actually got some rest. Probably won't happen again for two months. Greg Garcia got to play, which was fine with me. I'd like for him to get more playing time, given his defensive versatility and ability to get on base. Adams was blessedly subbed out by the 6th for Jose Martinez. Matheny, not content to be outdone in curious pinch-hitting choices, used pitcher Adam Wainwright in the 8th, who got a single off Storen and scored the team's final run. At least Wainwright hit very well last year (he had 7 doubles, a triple, and 2 home runs), although Jhonny Peralta was presumably still an option off the bench. I like watching pitchers at least try to hit, so it was fun. The DH concept can burn in hell.
Matt Bowman pitched an efficient 7th, Jonathon Broxton threw nothing but fastballs in the 8th and gave up a two-run home run. Which meant I had to make some cracks about "Pork n' Beans" Broxton, except I forgot I gave that name to him as his 1930s ballplayer nickname, not as a hobo nickname. Plus my dad I thought I was implying Broxton was Southern by saying he'd have to sit downwind of the barrel fire that evening. I don't know.
My botching my own joke aside, it was a lovely day all around.
The Cardinals beat the crap out of the Reds, which was nice. Nothing against the Reds, just nice to see a win, especially with the Cardinals on a three-game losing streak going into the game. Michael Wacha started, which was cause for concern. Wacha got consistently battered last season, and was effectively useless the last two months of the 2015 season. He's probably only in the rotation because Alex Reyes had Tommy John surgery at the start of Spring Training. But outside of a rough three-batter stretch in the 4th inning, where Wacha got the ball up and each batter made solid contact, he cruised. Even Matt Adams badly misplaying a ball in the second inning, netting Zach Cozart a triple, didn't come back to bite him.
But Matt Adams in left field, yeesh. The general manager said at the end of last season the team needed to focus on shoring up their defense, which was shit last year. Signing Dexter Fowler and moving Randal Grichuk to left was meant to be a move in that direction. But with Stephen Piscotty out, and Grichuk moved to right field, Incompetent Boob Manager Mike Matheny is playing Matt Adams in left. Keep in mind Adams has only played at first base since he reached the majors in 2012, and Matheny has been his manager that entire time, and should therefore, you know, remember that. And he has a backup outfielder on the team, Jose Martinez, but no, play the converted first baseman in the outfield.
As if keeping up with the Cubs wasn't going to be hard enough, the Cards handicap themselves with this dumbass manager.
On the plus side of the ledger, the Reds trotted out Bronson Arroyo and his 85 mph fastball to start. And Aledmys Diaz was the second batter to face him and put one over the fence. Then did it again in the 4th, with two men on, in almost the exact same place. There was one sequence that was pretty funny, when Grichuk lead off the 4th and ultimately struck out. Arroyo kept throwing pitches either in the mid-80s or mid-70s, and Grichuk was out in front of ever single one. It was like he thought Arroyo could rear back and throw 95 and kept expecting him to do it.
Anyway, Arroyo lasted 4 innings, and then was pinch hit for by another pitcher, which was curious. Brandon Finnegan hasn't distinguished himself as a hitter, but maybe the manager was determined to give some guys the day off, even from pinch-hitting. They brought in Robert Stephenson, who sounds like a random player generated by a video game, and he proceeded to walk 6 batters in less than two innings. The Cards let him off the hook in the 5th, but were able to scrape together a few hits in the 6th among the walks to drive in 3 more runs. After that, Wandy Peralta came in and got the Reds through the 7th unscathed, but Drew Storen gave up another run in the 8th.
Being up 9-1 by the end of the 6th allowed the Cardinals to sub out a lot of their starters, which means Molina actually got some rest. Probably won't happen again for two months. Greg Garcia got to play, which was fine with me. I'd like for him to get more playing time, given his defensive versatility and ability to get on base. Adams was blessedly subbed out by the 6th for Jose Martinez. Matheny, not content to be outdone in curious pinch-hitting choices, used pitcher Adam Wainwright in the 8th, who got a single off Storen and scored the team's final run. At least Wainwright hit very well last year (he had 7 doubles, a triple, and 2 home runs), although Jhonny Peralta was presumably still an option off the bench. I like watching pitchers at least try to hit, so it was fun. The DH concept can burn in hell.
Matt Bowman pitched an efficient 7th, Jonathon Broxton threw nothing but fastballs in the 8th and gave up a two-run home run. Which meant I had to make some cracks about "Pork n' Beans" Broxton, except I forgot I gave that name to him as his 1930s ballplayer nickname, not as a hobo nickname. Plus my dad I thought I was implying Broxton was Southern by saying he'd have to sit downwind of the barrel fire that evening. I don't know.
My botching my own joke aside, it was a lovely day all around.
Sunday, April 09, 2017
Earthworm Jim 1.3 - Assault and Battery
Plot: We open with Jim and Peter bolted to a huge rock by Professor Monkey-for-a-Head, as he prepares to incinerate them with a laser. Jim fails to break the shackles, but instead lifts the rock, stumbles around, and drops it on the professor. The next morning at home, Jim makes sure the paperboy hits the damn porch for once - by lifting his entire house and using it like a baseball glove. And then the super-suit stops working, right as Queen Pulsating, Bloated, Festering, Pus-filled, Malformed, Slug-for-a-Butt arrives in town with her army, determined to get the suit. Time to flee, but not inside the house like last week. This time they head for the International House of Haggis, where they have a chance for Jima and Snot to venture into the suit's workings to find the problem. It's a simple problem - the battery is drained - but since the suit was powered by the Battery of the Gods, getting a replacement could prove difficult. If they an survive an assault from the Queen's insect warriors.
Fortunately the day is saved by the mysterious Johnny-Dactyl. Unfortunately he then leaves in a snit when his personal sound system screws up during his big entrance. Still, it's enough of an opening for Jim and Peter to get back to their home and find a listing in the Phone Book of the Gods. This leads to asking a boon of a trio of schmuck Gods, and being forced to answer a riddle. Having successfully answered the riddle, Jim is back to full power, which still may not be enough to take down the Queen. Unless he can unleash the awesome might of the Slow-Motion Sports Movie Moment (not what they call it, but I can't think of a better description).
Quote of the Episode: Jim - 'At last I was a player in the big game of life. Too bad I hadn't read the rules on the top of the box.'
Times Peter Loses Control: 1 (4 overall).
Cow? Yes.
Other: This is the first haggis joke of the series. Where Peter develops a taste for the stuff, right up to the point when he's informed what's in it. I think I'd actually forgotten about this joke.
The riddle was, "What is the sound of one hand clapping?" I quite like Jim's answer, and so did the gods, although it was Japius, God of Puns, so take with a grain of salt.
The Gods also gift Snot with a nose flute, which plays horrible, horrible music. High-pitched and off-key, tortuous to poor Peter, although Jim enjoys it. Of course, as Peter notes, Jim doesn't have any ears. And last week he was more resistant to the Reeking Beasts because his didn't have a nose. Tune in next week as they have to walk across hot coals and Jim is unfazed because he doesn't really have any feet.
Jim's slow-motion sports heroics celebrations crack me up, but I like sports movies, even if they all have roughly the same plot.
The short bit in the middle of the episode this week is a pitch for Psycrow's School of Nefarious Villainy, where he'll teach you the ABCs of making threats, and provide a support group to help you feel confident in yourself as a villain. Which is a pretty good system, remembering to think of the emotional aspect of villainy as well as the technical side. I wouldn't have expected that from Psycrow frankly. I was thinking more like Mr. Langley's course for Monorail operators in that one Simpsons episode.
Fortunately the day is saved by the mysterious Johnny-Dactyl. Unfortunately he then leaves in a snit when his personal sound system screws up during his big entrance. Still, it's enough of an opening for Jim and Peter to get back to their home and find a listing in the Phone Book of the Gods. This leads to asking a boon of a trio of schmuck Gods, and being forced to answer a riddle. Having successfully answered the riddle, Jim is back to full power, which still may not be enough to take down the Queen. Unless he can unleash the awesome might of the Slow-Motion Sports Movie Moment (not what they call it, but I can't think of a better description).
Quote of the Episode: Jim - 'At last I was a player in the big game of life. Too bad I hadn't read the rules on the top of the box.'
Times Peter Loses Control: 1 (4 overall).
Cow? Yes.
Other: This is the first haggis joke of the series. Where Peter develops a taste for the stuff, right up to the point when he's informed what's in it. I think I'd actually forgotten about this joke.
The riddle was, "What is the sound of one hand clapping?" I quite like Jim's answer, and so did the gods, although it was Japius, God of Puns, so take with a grain of salt.
The Gods also gift Snot with a nose flute, which plays horrible, horrible music. High-pitched and off-key, tortuous to poor Peter, although Jim enjoys it. Of course, as Peter notes, Jim doesn't have any ears. And last week he was more resistant to the Reeking Beasts because his didn't have a nose. Tune in next week as they have to walk across hot coals and Jim is unfazed because he doesn't really have any feet.
Jim's slow-motion sports heroics celebrations crack me up, but I like sports movies, even if they all have roughly the same plot.
The short bit in the middle of the episode this week is a pitch for Psycrow's School of Nefarious Villainy, where he'll teach you the ABCs of making threats, and provide a support group to help you feel confident in yourself as a villain. Which is a pretty good system, remembering to think of the emotional aspect of villainy as well as the technical side. I wouldn't have expected that from Psycrow frankly. I was thinking more like Mr. Langley's course for Monorail operators in that one Simpsons episode.
Friday, April 07, 2017
What I Bought 3/25/2017 and 4/4/2017
A couple of books from outside Marvel and DC. One is midway through a miniseries, and the other is an ongoing returning after a long hiatus.
Copperhead #11, by Jay Faerber (writer), Drew Moss (artist), Ron Riley (colorist), Thomas Mauer (letterer) - Some don't greet unwanted guests with pies to the face, they just shoot them.
At the end of the previous issue, Sheriff Clara Bronson had entered the Mayor's office and found him dead. So now comes the attempt to determine the killer. His last appointment was with a local bigwig, and he doesn't particularly like the sheriff, so she lets her deputy, whose name is Budroxifinicus (generally called "Boo") go first. And he quickly gets installed as the new Mayor. Whether he's trying to sucker the bigwig, or this is his way of getting one over on the sheriff remains to be seen. The sheriff also has an old ex show up, and there's a dangerous escaped convict who probably has an unhealthy fixation on her somewhere in space.
In retrospect, I should have reread the first two trades, because I can't recall who "Ford" is in his day job. I do recall the bigwig calling someone looking for dirt on Bronson, and that someone implying the sheriff kills people who try that shit, which I guess was Ford. Besides that, Faerber did a good job at least outlining all the basic connections. The coroner's also the doctor, and a drunk. The bigwig doesn't like the sheriff, she and this convict have history, the guy named Ishmael looking after the kid is an "Artie" (artificial human), but manages to work most of that in smoothly over the course of the issue. It's not exposition that grinds the book to a halt.
Moss is new to the book, as cover artist Scott Godlewski was the original series artist. Moss does well, nothing too flashy. I think Ron Riley's colors help the book maintain a largely similar feel to the earlier issues. A lot of very dark nights, and day scenes with a pale pink tint to the sky. At certain points the colors feel slightly washed out, like there's just a bit too much sun. I think Moss needs to draw Boo larger, though. Until the last page, he doesn't really dominate panels or pages the way I recall him doing. Could be that's the point, that as Mayor he has some power over Clara and that lets him assert dominance. He and Riley also like to portray Mr. Hickory (the bigwig) with the brim of his hat shadowing his eyes, so that they appear as empty white circles. At least, they like it enough to use it twice in two pages. There's a good contrast between those pages and how he's drawn on the final page, in his more solicitous public persona as he meets Clara. He's facing us more fully, no hat or anything shading his face, no devious grin, just more open in appearance, even if it's a false impression.
Empowered: Soldier of Love #2, by Adam Warren (writer), Karla Diaz (artist), Ryan Kinnaird (co-colorist), Nate Piekos (letterer) - Well, they may be tangled in the plots and hair of a resentful magical princess, but at least Ninjette still has her beer.
Emp has been pulling together a theory about what's with all the cape-types hooking up, and it involves a strange event where a bunch of teenage girls got magic powers, and one of them hates her job and is on the loose. Which is exactly correct, and the Soldato del Amor intends to mess around with some sort of Super Shield thing designed to protect the city from catastrophe, and instead use it to trap the inhabitants of the city and eradicate all love forever and ever. And most of the heroes are too busy making out or texting each other to do anything.
It's that middle chapter where all the pieces get moved into position for the big finish, and there's a lot more explanation of what's going on and why. Which is not the most fun to read, especially with the various Superhomeys incessantly texting each other constantly. If this is what life is like for the Soldato, no wonder she hates love so much. And I'm in complete agreement with Ninjette, that calling someone "Daddy" as sexy talk is nauseating. Like when guys call their wives "Mother". Colonel Potter always did that on MASH, and it just seemed weird. She's not your mom, don't call her that!
I did enjoy the sequence contrasting Soldato's original glee at learning she's a secret magical princess, with her utter disgust at the role she's trapped in 10 years later. The top half of the page, with bright pink background lighting and literal sparkles around her face as she cheers. Then bottom half, with a dull beige, off-white background of hotel walls, as she sits on the bed with her e-cig of Amor and sullenly stares into space. The constant scowl (except when she's sneering) she carries as she goes about her business is a nice touch too. And having her voice balloons change color when she's in costume and speaking the Language of Love rather than her typical Spanish, of which I can piece together maybe 40%.
Look, if she was speaking German I'd have a chance, but she's not. It's not my fault I'm not the right bilingual.
OK, it is my fault because I didn't take Spanish, but I didn't know in high school I'd someday need to translate a magical floating pangolin's speech bubbles.
Copperhead #11, by Jay Faerber (writer), Drew Moss (artist), Ron Riley (colorist), Thomas Mauer (letterer) - Some don't greet unwanted guests with pies to the face, they just shoot them.At the end of the previous issue, Sheriff Clara Bronson had entered the Mayor's office and found him dead. So now comes the attempt to determine the killer. His last appointment was with a local bigwig, and he doesn't particularly like the sheriff, so she lets her deputy, whose name is Budroxifinicus (generally called "Boo") go first. And he quickly gets installed as the new Mayor. Whether he's trying to sucker the bigwig, or this is his way of getting one over on the sheriff remains to be seen. The sheriff also has an old ex show up, and there's a dangerous escaped convict who probably has an unhealthy fixation on her somewhere in space.
In retrospect, I should have reread the first two trades, because I can't recall who "Ford" is in his day job. I do recall the bigwig calling someone looking for dirt on Bronson, and that someone implying the sheriff kills people who try that shit, which I guess was Ford. Besides that, Faerber did a good job at least outlining all the basic connections. The coroner's also the doctor, and a drunk. The bigwig doesn't like the sheriff, she and this convict have history, the guy named Ishmael looking after the kid is an "Artie" (artificial human), but manages to work most of that in smoothly over the course of the issue. It's not exposition that grinds the book to a halt.
Moss is new to the book, as cover artist Scott Godlewski was the original series artist. Moss does well, nothing too flashy. I think Ron Riley's colors help the book maintain a largely similar feel to the earlier issues. A lot of very dark nights, and day scenes with a pale pink tint to the sky. At certain points the colors feel slightly washed out, like there's just a bit too much sun. I think Moss needs to draw Boo larger, though. Until the last page, he doesn't really dominate panels or pages the way I recall him doing. Could be that's the point, that as Mayor he has some power over Clara and that lets him assert dominance. He and Riley also like to portray Mr. Hickory (the bigwig) with the brim of his hat shadowing his eyes, so that they appear as empty white circles. At least, they like it enough to use it twice in two pages. There's a good contrast between those pages and how he's drawn on the final page, in his more solicitous public persona as he meets Clara. He's facing us more fully, no hat or anything shading his face, no devious grin, just more open in appearance, even if it's a false impression.
Empowered: Soldier of Love #2, by Adam Warren (writer), Karla Diaz (artist), Ryan Kinnaird (co-colorist), Nate Piekos (letterer) - Well, they may be tangled in the plots and hair of a resentful magical princess, but at least Ninjette still has her beer.Emp has been pulling together a theory about what's with all the cape-types hooking up, and it involves a strange event where a bunch of teenage girls got magic powers, and one of them hates her job and is on the loose. Which is exactly correct, and the Soldato del Amor intends to mess around with some sort of Super Shield thing designed to protect the city from catastrophe, and instead use it to trap the inhabitants of the city and eradicate all love forever and ever. And most of the heroes are too busy making out or texting each other to do anything.
It's that middle chapter where all the pieces get moved into position for the big finish, and there's a lot more explanation of what's going on and why. Which is not the most fun to read, especially with the various Superhomeys incessantly texting each other constantly. If this is what life is like for the Soldato, no wonder she hates love so much. And I'm in complete agreement with Ninjette, that calling someone "Daddy" as sexy talk is nauseating. Like when guys call their wives "Mother". Colonel Potter always did that on MASH, and it just seemed weird. She's not your mom, don't call her that!
I did enjoy the sequence contrasting Soldato's original glee at learning she's a secret magical princess, with her utter disgust at the role she's trapped in 10 years later. The top half of the page, with bright pink background lighting and literal sparkles around her face as she cheers. Then bottom half, with a dull beige, off-white background of hotel walls, as she sits on the bed with her e-cig of Amor and sullenly stares into space. The constant scowl (except when she's sneering) she carries as she goes about her business is a nice touch too. And having her voice balloons change color when she's in costume and speaking the Language of Love rather than her typical Spanish, of which I can piece together maybe 40%.
Look, if she was speaking German I'd have a chance, but she's not. It's not my fault I'm not the right bilingual.
OK, it is my fault because I didn't take Spanish, but I didn't know in high school I'd someday need to translate a magical floating pangolin's speech bubbles.
Thursday, April 06, 2017
Undersized, Adorable, But Not Too Bright
I'm going old school for this version of the made-up team, back to the original NES. It was a little tricky, between my not having actually owned all that many NES games, and several of the ones I did own were licensed properties (read: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle games, mostly), so a somewhat limited field of candidates.
The Leader: The Paperboy (Paperboy) - He probably would have fit well as The Rogue, but I didn't feel like I had a better option. And what we know about this kid is he's dedicated and will see a job through, not to mention fearless to the point of being crazy. He gets repeatedly attacked by the personification of Death and throws newspapers at it, like it was some stupid yappy dog. He's good at snap decisions and quick reactions.
Now, will all that translate into being able to lead a team? It's questionable, and if this team were comprised of more abrasive personalities, it could be a problem. Especially if a mission or quest blows up in their faces because the remarkable paperboy didn't have a clue what to do, or decided to be petty or just plain mean at the wrong time. Because he could be extremely dedicated and responsible, but he could also decide he was going to throw papers through every window on the street, and at everyone he saw along the way.
The Muscle: Little Mac (Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!) - Does this qualify as a licensed game? Eh, they did a version without Tyson, so I'm going to argue it's allowable. I suppose I could have picked one of Mac's opponents, maybe get Piston Honda dishing out TKOs from Tokyo, but let's avoid the questionable cultural stereotypes if we can. Also, they clash with the "short in stature, but not in courage" aesthetic I seem to have settled on.
Little Mac, little guy, big punch, pretty solid head all things being equal. Yeah, you can one-shot KO him if you catch him with the a good uppercut, but consider that those are usually being delivered by people two or even three times heavier than him. If he fought people in his own weight class, he'd probably be undefeated.
Not that he can count on weight class restrictions on this team, or any kinds of Marquis of Queensbury rules. Hes gonna have to slug it out with people with weapons, armor, and no compunction against continuing to punch him once hes down. On the other hand, there's nothing stopping him from doing that either, and nothing constraining him to a ring either. Not that Mac seems fond of moving much. A little to his left or right, jump to throw a knockout shot, that's about it. He's going to have to show a little more flexibility, get outside the box, er, ring. I mean, what was all that running in the pink sweatsuit for if he's going to stay rooted in one place?
At least we know he has no problems taking orders from a guy on a bicycle.
The Fun-guy of Mystery: Toad (Super Mario Bros. 3) - That's a terrible pun, poisoning by bad mushrooms would be preferable. Toad was a playable character in Super Mario Bros. 2, and a solid one at that. But I never owned that game. I did have the first Super Mario Bros., where he just keeps telling Mario the princess isn't there, and the third one, where he bemoans the various kings being turned into various creatures. Oh, and he keeps tempting Mario with various games of chance. Hopefully Mario doesn't have a gambling problem, or Toad's an enabler.
One of his roles isn't so much a game of chance as him simply presenting Mario with three treasure chests and telling him to pick one for some sort of power-up. It would really be more efficient in Mario's quest to defeat Bowser if Toad just told him what was in the chests, or hell, gave him all three, but Toad's no doubt looting the Princess' personal armory/treasury for this stuff, and doesn't want to be any more wasteful than he has to be.
So it's hard telling what Toad will specifically bring to the battle. Will the Paperboy get himself a racoon tail and the ability to fly? Can Little Mac get a mushroom and turn giant to lay the smack down? Or will Toad pull out that stupid Music Box when there are no Hammer Brothers around to put to sleep with it? Can anyone on this team convince him to cut the bullshit and just give them the best option, or is it Toad doesn't even know what that is? He takes orders, he doesn't make decisions. Maybe he can't, or won't.
The Guy with a Boat: Kirby (Kirby's Adventure) - Maybe Kirby should have been The Leader, but it's hard for me to picture the pink ball as leading much of anything. The whole plot of Kirby's Adventure is him questing to find the Star Rod so the citizens of Dream Land (including him ) can get back to having dreams during the after-lunch feast naps. While restful sleep is important, Kirby is at this point, mostly motivated by someone removing his comforts. Kirby'll fight monsters, Kirby will save the day, but won't really be out looking for trouble. Keeping him interested is going to be a challenge. Probably have to wake him up for a fight, or pull him away from the dinner table.
Kirby landed this role because of the Warp Star. Despite its tendency to drop off passengers by crashing into the Earth and send them tumbling, it still seems easier to control and direct than a Warp Whistle. And the kid's bike can only hold so many. Kirby is a wild card on his own, given his ability to inhale enemies and swipe their powers. Turn into a fireball, shoot lasers, gain a hammer, an umbrella, or even a UFO (that UFO power was sweet). Of course he could get a dud, but Kirby usually learns quickly which powers come from which enemies. And even if he finds an enemy he can't take powers from, he could still digest them, or spit them out at another foe. Plus he looks adorable, so it's a good bet enemies will underestimate him initially.
As for their enemy, it's a treacherous one. It's going to stir up trouble in one place initially, but in such a way the team will have to either split up to handle it, or prioritize one problem over the other. Threats to a city water supply that requires to different, hard-to-acquire compounds to neutralize. Igniting wars by stealing artifacts, while also undermining all the involved parties' leaders. And what's worst is the enemy will have presented itself as a friend an ally. When our team succeeds in thwarting his plan, he'll openly share in their successes. And when they fail, he's going to be laughing at them.
You might have noticed I skipped over The Rogue. I figured after all this time of Rogues who might turn on the team, we needed one who actually would. And this motherfucker, posing as best friend to man as a way to get his jollies, reveling in his invulnerability. There's no question he's going to turn, because he was never really on their side. He's always been just setting them up to fail.
The Leader: The Paperboy (Paperboy) - He probably would have fit well as The Rogue, but I didn't feel like I had a better option. And what we know about this kid is he's dedicated and will see a job through, not to mention fearless to the point of being crazy. He gets repeatedly attacked by the personification of Death and throws newspapers at it, like it was some stupid yappy dog. He's good at snap decisions and quick reactions.Now, will all that translate into being able to lead a team? It's questionable, and if this team were comprised of more abrasive personalities, it could be a problem. Especially if a mission or quest blows up in their faces because the remarkable paperboy didn't have a clue what to do, or decided to be petty or just plain mean at the wrong time. Because he could be extremely dedicated and responsible, but he could also decide he was going to throw papers through every window on the street, and at everyone he saw along the way.
Little Mac, little guy, big punch, pretty solid head all things being equal. Yeah, you can one-shot KO him if you catch him with the a good uppercut, but consider that those are usually being delivered by people two or even three times heavier than him. If he fought people in his own weight class, he'd probably be undefeated.
Not that he can count on weight class restrictions on this team, or any kinds of Marquis of Queensbury rules. Hes gonna have to slug it out with people with weapons, armor, and no compunction against continuing to punch him once hes down. On the other hand, there's nothing stopping him from doing that either, and nothing constraining him to a ring either. Not that Mac seems fond of moving much. A little to his left or right, jump to throw a knockout shot, that's about it. He's going to have to show a little more flexibility, get outside the box, er, ring. I mean, what was all that running in the pink sweatsuit for if he's going to stay rooted in one place?
At least we know he has no problems taking orders from a guy on a bicycle.
One of his roles isn't so much a game of chance as him simply presenting Mario with three treasure chests and telling him to pick one for some sort of power-up. It would really be more efficient in Mario's quest to defeat Bowser if Toad just told him what was in the chests, or hell, gave him all three, but Toad's no doubt looting the Princess' personal armory/treasury for this stuff, and doesn't want to be any more wasteful than he has to be.
So it's hard telling what Toad will specifically bring to the battle. Will the Paperboy get himself a racoon tail and the ability to fly? Can Little Mac get a mushroom and turn giant to lay the smack down? Or will Toad pull out that stupid Music Box when there are no Hammer Brothers around to put to sleep with it? Can anyone on this team convince him to cut the bullshit and just give them the best option, or is it Toad doesn't even know what that is? He takes orders, he doesn't make decisions. Maybe he can't, or won't.
Kirby landed this role because of the Warp Star. Despite its tendency to drop off passengers by crashing into the Earth and send them tumbling, it still seems easier to control and direct than a Warp Whistle. And the kid's bike can only hold so many. Kirby is a wild card on his own, given his ability to inhale enemies and swipe their powers. Turn into a fireball, shoot lasers, gain a hammer, an umbrella, or even a UFO (that UFO power was sweet). Of course he could get a dud, but Kirby usually learns quickly which powers come from which enemies. And even if he finds an enemy he can't take powers from, he could still digest them, or spit them out at another foe. Plus he looks adorable, so it's a good bet enemies will underestimate him initially.
As for their enemy, it's a treacherous one. It's going to stir up trouble in one place initially, but in such a way the team will have to either split up to handle it, or prioritize one problem over the other. Threats to a city water supply that requires to different, hard-to-acquire compounds to neutralize. Igniting wars by stealing artifacts, while also undermining all the involved parties' leaders. And what's worst is the enemy will have presented itself as a friend an ally. When our team succeeds in thwarting his plan, he'll openly share in their successes. And when they fail, he's going to be laughing at them.
Wednesday, April 05, 2017
We Aren't Buying What You're Selling
Marvel had themselves a meeting with some of the retailers to try and figure out why their sales are tanking so hard. There were some mentions of the pricing of certain books at $6 or even $10, and Marvel's trade collections being pricier than other publishers, or people being sick of constant events. The one that has gotten the most notice was the comment about customers not liking diversity. Books starring women, or nonwhite characters.
Once it got noticed and started catching some heat, Mr. Gabriel, the VP of sales who made the comment quickly stressed that wasn't Marvel's position, oh no. It was what they were told by the retailers. Either way it seems to be pointing the blame for the poor sales at the customers. If only they would buy more of our comics, our comics would be selling better! Well no shit. I want to point out that if the comics were cheaper, perhaps the customers would be more inclined to try things they otherwise give a pass to. That would certainly be the case with me (and I'd probably be more forgiving of a book I spent $2 an issue on, rather than $4). But that doesn't seem to be the case anecdotally. Cheaper books carry a connotation of being unimportant, and a segment of the customer base has been trained to only care about "important" books*.
I've found the newer characters hit-or-miss, personally, though Marvel really does need to be focusing on courting potential readers besides me. They've already got some of my money. A lot of the nebies I'm indifferent to, a few I dislike, a few I really like. Just like with the new characters that came out in the '90s, or the '80s, and so on.
G. Willow Wilson made a point that if you want people to be invested in this new legacy character you're selling, maybe don't crap all over the character whose legacy they're inheriting. Make it seem like it's a codename/title worth assuming. Wilson made it clear Kamala Khan really looked up to Carol Danvers, that she felt Danvers was a great hero, and that taking on the name "Ms. Marvel" was a big deal for Kamala. That she felt a responsibility to live up to that name.
But in a lot of cases, the preexisting character kind of gets dragged through the mud. Making Sam Wilson Captain America isn't a bad idea, but then making Steve Rogers a HYDRA agent out for world domination is. Taking on the mantle of Captain America should be a big deal, but deciding the guy who originally made it a big deal has secretly always been a bad guy kind of undercuts that. Sam's not trying to take a name that carries weight and build upon, go in directions Steve Rogers wouldn't have considered, he's trying to rehab it. Wasn't that a big part of what Kyle Rayner had to struggle against, that he inherited the title of Green Lantern after the writers made Hal Jordan a murdering lunatic? That certainly didn't help Kyle's acceptance from fans of Hal.
I sometimes strongly dislike Kate Bishop because I feel Clint Barton is being written like an increasingly incompetent putz to make Kate look better. In reality, I think the writers just think Clint should be written as a moron, separate of whatever they're trying to accomplish with Kate Bishop, but it's not always easy to keep that in mind. And if I think the character I like is getting the shaft (no pun intended), I might not be real happy with the character I think is benefiting from that.
Marvel spent the last couple of years trying hard to push the Inhumans as a big deal. There wasn't any demand for this, but in theory, it wasn't a horrible thing to try. You can never tell when you'll find that magic combination of a writer/artist team with a strong vision the fans will love. The problem was it also felt like Marvel was shoving the X-Men into the background. The X-Books still had 5 titles (a heck of a lot better than the Fantastic Four), but there was the sense they were being sidelined in favor of characters Marvel had movie rights to, and the fans were just expected to go along with it. And the fans didn't. If the Inhumans' titles had been better, maybe it would have worked, but as it stands, fans weren't buying it. The Inhumans couldn't become a tentpole franchise like the X-Men were, simply on the strength of Marvel wanting it to happen.
You could probably put Bruce Banner's recent death in Civil War II under this heading. Amadeus Cho's book had already established Banner wasn't going to transform again, and that was that, but Marvel went ahead and killed him anyway. Which I'm sure was more about feeling the need for the shocking death mid-event, but if you're a fan of Banner, maybe you see it as him being taken off the board entirely so Marvel can give the name Hulk to other characters and push them. To give you no other option if you want a Hulk fix.
I know there's a segment of the customer base that is gonna want things just a certain way, like they were in (time period that individual has strong positive feelings about). I'm that guy sometimes. And That Guy may never buy in to the legacy character. Maybe because they feel strongly about the earlier character. Or they just won't buy a book with a lead character who is part of an underrepresented demographic. Or maybe the new character just doesn't connect with them. Marvel should keep trying Also maybe find more people who aren't straight white dudes to write some of those comics. But at a minimum, try not to dump all over the last guy who held the title in the rush to make the new one the Greatest Thing Ever.
* I have still never figured out if it's that Marvel (and DC) trained us to only care about important books, by trying to tell us we needed to buy every comic with "Disassembled" or "Infinite Crisis tie-in" stamped on the cover, or if we trained them to slant their publishing lines that way with what we bought.
Once it got noticed and started catching some heat, Mr. Gabriel, the VP of sales who made the comment quickly stressed that wasn't Marvel's position, oh no. It was what they were told by the retailers. Either way it seems to be pointing the blame for the poor sales at the customers. If only they would buy more of our comics, our comics would be selling better! Well no shit. I want to point out that if the comics were cheaper, perhaps the customers would be more inclined to try things they otherwise give a pass to. That would certainly be the case with me (and I'd probably be more forgiving of a book I spent $2 an issue on, rather than $4). But that doesn't seem to be the case anecdotally. Cheaper books carry a connotation of being unimportant, and a segment of the customer base has been trained to only care about "important" books*.
I've found the newer characters hit-or-miss, personally, though Marvel really does need to be focusing on courting potential readers besides me. They've already got some of my money. A lot of the nebies I'm indifferent to, a few I dislike, a few I really like. Just like with the new characters that came out in the '90s, or the '80s, and so on.
G. Willow Wilson made a point that if you want people to be invested in this new legacy character you're selling, maybe don't crap all over the character whose legacy they're inheriting. Make it seem like it's a codename/title worth assuming. Wilson made it clear Kamala Khan really looked up to Carol Danvers, that she felt Danvers was a great hero, and that taking on the name "Ms. Marvel" was a big deal for Kamala. That she felt a responsibility to live up to that name.
But in a lot of cases, the preexisting character kind of gets dragged through the mud. Making Sam Wilson Captain America isn't a bad idea, but then making Steve Rogers a HYDRA agent out for world domination is. Taking on the mantle of Captain America should be a big deal, but deciding the guy who originally made it a big deal has secretly always been a bad guy kind of undercuts that. Sam's not trying to take a name that carries weight and build upon, go in directions Steve Rogers wouldn't have considered, he's trying to rehab it. Wasn't that a big part of what Kyle Rayner had to struggle against, that he inherited the title of Green Lantern after the writers made Hal Jordan a murdering lunatic? That certainly didn't help Kyle's acceptance from fans of Hal.
I sometimes strongly dislike Kate Bishop because I feel Clint Barton is being written like an increasingly incompetent putz to make Kate look better. In reality, I think the writers just think Clint should be written as a moron, separate of whatever they're trying to accomplish with Kate Bishop, but it's not always easy to keep that in mind. And if I think the character I like is getting the shaft (no pun intended), I might not be real happy with the character I think is benefiting from that.
Marvel spent the last couple of years trying hard to push the Inhumans as a big deal. There wasn't any demand for this, but in theory, it wasn't a horrible thing to try. You can never tell when you'll find that magic combination of a writer/artist team with a strong vision the fans will love. The problem was it also felt like Marvel was shoving the X-Men into the background. The X-Books still had 5 titles (a heck of a lot better than the Fantastic Four), but there was the sense they were being sidelined in favor of characters Marvel had movie rights to, and the fans were just expected to go along with it. And the fans didn't. If the Inhumans' titles had been better, maybe it would have worked, but as it stands, fans weren't buying it. The Inhumans couldn't become a tentpole franchise like the X-Men were, simply on the strength of Marvel wanting it to happen.
You could probably put Bruce Banner's recent death in Civil War II under this heading. Amadeus Cho's book had already established Banner wasn't going to transform again, and that was that, but Marvel went ahead and killed him anyway. Which I'm sure was more about feeling the need for the shocking death mid-event, but if you're a fan of Banner, maybe you see it as him being taken off the board entirely so Marvel can give the name Hulk to other characters and push them. To give you no other option if you want a Hulk fix.
I know there's a segment of the customer base that is gonna want things just a certain way, like they were in (time period that individual has strong positive feelings about). I'm that guy sometimes. And That Guy may never buy in to the legacy character. Maybe because they feel strongly about the earlier character. Or they just won't buy a book with a lead character who is part of an underrepresented demographic. Or maybe the new character just doesn't connect with them. Marvel should keep trying Also maybe find more people who aren't straight white dudes to write some of those comics. But at a minimum, try not to dump all over the last guy who held the title in the rush to make the new one the Greatest Thing Ever.
* I have still never figured out if it's that Marvel (and DC) trained us to only care about important books, by trying to tell us we needed to buy every comic with "Disassembled" or "Infinite Crisis tie-in" stamped on the cover, or if we trained them to slant their publishing lines that way with what we bought.
Tuesday, April 04, 2017
Rogue One (2016)
While I was visiting Alex, after completing errands, his roommate wanted to watch Rogue One. Which spared me from seeing any more of We're the Millers, so that's a win of sorts. Spoilers, probably.
It was OK, I suppose. One of my first reactions when it was over was that it was kind of shitty Jyn didn't get to shoot Krennic, who was responsible for the death of both her parents. Instead they give that chance to the captain guy whose name I never remembered at any point during or after the film. For someone Forest Whitaker's character claimed was the best soldier he had by age 16, there were a lot of points where she didn't seem very good at it. Also a lot of dudes telling her what she ought to be doing with her life in the film.
On the other hand, I could see the argument her revenge on Krennic was buying into the rebellion enough to make a rousing speech that convinced a bunch of people to go with her on the big mission at the end, which is how the Alliance gets the Death Star plans and ultimately is able to destroy it. Although Krennic was already in the process of losing his baby to creepy CGI Peter Cushing, but still, Jyn was instrumental in fucking his day up pretty severely.
Didn't quite know what to make of them not at least trying to reach a shuttlecraft or something. Try to get off the planet before they're killed, make some kind of token effort in that direction? Granting that they're wounded, come on, at least try.
Chirrut and Baze (Donnie Yen and Wen Jiang) were my favorites. Chirrut gets to be the blind badass which is almost always cool, and Baze has this tired amusement towards Chirrut. He knows Chirrut is going to get them into trouble, but he's ultimately going to have his back. They aren't quite a grumpy old married couple, but they're close. I had seen enough online to know Vader's in the film - holy shit was that "Don't choke on your aspirations" line terrible - and I half expected Chirrut and the other to run up against him. Probably better he didn't. That could have been a terribly disillusioning fight for Chirrut, before he, you know, died.
Kind of interesting seeing how fractured the Alliance was, the different interests and fears they had, militant wings versus those still thinking they could talk, or not wanting to try and fight a war they were unequipped to win.
I don't have much else to say on the film. I don't really need to see it again.
It was OK, I suppose. One of my first reactions when it was over was that it was kind of shitty Jyn didn't get to shoot Krennic, who was responsible for the death of both her parents. Instead they give that chance to the captain guy whose name I never remembered at any point during or after the film. For someone Forest Whitaker's character claimed was the best soldier he had by age 16, there were a lot of points where she didn't seem very good at it. Also a lot of dudes telling her what she ought to be doing with her life in the film.
On the other hand, I could see the argument her revenge on Krennic was buying into the rebellion enough to make a rousing speech that convinced a bunch of people to go with her on the big mission at the end, which is how the Alliance gets the Death Star plans and ultimately is able to destroy it. Although Krennic was already in the process of losing his baby to creepy CGI Peter Cushing, but still, Jyn was instrumental in fucking his day up pretty severely.
Didn't quite know what to make of them not at least trying to reach a shuttlecraft or something. Try to get off the planet before they're killed, make some kind of token effort in that direction? Granting that they're wounded, come on, at least try.
Chirrut and Baze (Donnie Yen and Wen Jiang) were my favorites. Chirrut gets to be the blind badass which is almost always cool, and Baze has this tired amusement towards Chirrut. He knows Chirrut is going to get them into trouble, but he's ultimately going to have his back. They aren't quite a grumpy old married couple, but they're close. I had seen enough online to know Vader's in the film - holy shit was that "Don't choke on your aspirations" line terrible - and I half expected Chirrut and the other to run up against him. Probably better he didn't. That could have been a terribly disillusioning fight for Chirrut, before he, you know, died.
Kind of interesting seeing how fractured the Alliance was, the different interests and fears they had, militant wings versus those still thinking they could talk, or not wanting to try and fight a war they were unequipped to win.
I don't have much else to say on the film. I don't really need to see it again.
Monday, April 03, 2017
They're Certainly Fools In April
*April 3rd, at Calvin's apartment. Calvin leans against the breakfast bar, arms crossed, tapping his foot impatiently while staring at the front door. Clever Adolescent Panda is behind him in the kitchen.*
Calvin: {C'moooon, hurry up with those pies. Pollock will certainly be here any time now!}
Clever Adolescent Panda: Then stop wasting them on innocent people!
Calvin: {It's not my fault! I don't normally get this many people at the door.}
CAP: You're lucky the Jehovah's Witness was so forgiving about you accidentally knocking him over the railing.
Calvin: {Well I was sure it was Pollock in disguise, so I put a little something extra on the throw.}
CAP: So it wasn't an accident is what you're saying.
Calvin: {Pollock would have recovered and landed gracefully on her feet!}
*The panda's response is to shake its head and tsk loudly. Silence reigns for a few minutes.*
CAP: I think we're being too obvious just waiting for her to walk in the door.
Calvin: *Calvin turns to face the panda* {We tried subterfuge the last time we tried the pie gag, and you ate the pie. The time before that, I got pied. No being sneaky. We see Pollock, we throw pies, we have a good laugh.}
Voice from the window to their left: Unless Pollock dropped in before you were ready.
*Pollock is coming in through the window. What an unforeseen turn of events, said no one ever.*
Calvin: {What are you doing entering through a window like that menace, Spider-Man? You better not have damaged the screen!}
Pollock: *sighs with condescending patience* The screen is undamaged, which is more than we'll be able to say about your face in a few minutes.
*Clever Adolescent Panda surreptitiously removes a pie from the oven, but Calvin waves it off with a shake of his head, which he keeps Pollock from noticing by holding his hands out in a placating gesture*
Calvin: {That's pretty hostile. What's the problem?}
Pollock: You ruined my plans again, you witless buffoon. First you stopped buying Deadpool, just as he was about to help me retake my company by ruining it. . .
*Flash to two months ago. Pollock and Deadpool stand in the alley across from ExpanCo headquarters. It's dark, a little breezy, pretty quiet on the streets, though.*
Pollock: Are you sure you understand your task?
Deadpool: *impatiently* [Yes, I've blown buildings up for insurance money before.]
Pollock: I told you I don't need the building destroyed. We just need to damage it enough to hurt the companies' reputation and standing. No endangering lives.
Deadpool: *making wanking motion* [Sure that seems a reasonable request in this case of industrial espionage and stock manipulation. Only hurt people economically by taking their jobs. I'll leave half the explosive here, in this nondescript container.]
*Deadpool is referring to a "Toys for Tots" box*
Pollock: Perhaps locked inside the van would be better.
Deadpool: [Fine, just like a capitalist, hoarding everything for yourself. *throws explosive in the van* Now can I be violent?]
Pollock: Absolutely.
*As Deadpool prepares to cross the street, he begins to fade out*
Deadpool: [Oh no, Calvin must have stopped buying my high-selling comic book and so I'm fading back into my dimension! Also I'm talking like a Silver Age DC Character.]
Pollock: *contemplates kicking van, opts for deep breathing instead* If you want your former business ruined, you have to do it yourself.
*Back in the present day*
CAP: You still haven't gotten to that?! I gave up waiting for you to ever call me to help.
Pollock: I took care of it, but I followed Calvin's advice to threaten some of the major shareholders with painful death in exchange for their shares. Except that one stubborn, elderly gent I had committed by impersonating his son, who I had abducted ahead of time.
CAP: *A little dumbfounded* What?
Calvin: {Jeez, that's pretty messed up, dude.}
Pollock: *sneers* Oh yes, psychiatric hospitals make you uncomfortable don't they? With your mental state, I'm not surprised. Anyway, I was embracing my inner super-villain, as I believe you suggested.
Calvin: {Sounds like you should be thanking me then, which doesn't make me feel as great as I'd hoped. Of course, in my head you following my plan also meant the end of you whining about not having control of your company.}
Pollock: Yes, all was going well. Employee morale was back up. We were getting back into wild science, and then you started buying Gwenpool.
CAP: Don't tell me she started showing up.
Calvin: {And I did that the same time I dropped Deadpool.}
Pollock: But he didn't make a real appearance until a month or so after you started buying the book.
*Flashback to one month ago. Deadpool reappears in the middle of the same street he vanished from. And is immediately run over by a bicycle. Wade picks himself up, shoots out the tires, and spends five minutes beating the bike messenger.*
Deadpool: *finished punching for the moment* [Where is Pollock? Where's the van with the rest of my explosives? The building doesn't look damaged at all! She must have been captured and is being held prisoner! Don't worry, I'll save you, not because you're a damsel, but because we're friends and you won't pay me if you get blown up along with the building. So rescue first, then destruction. Or simultaneous. Whichever.]
*As Wade shoulders his bag with the remaining explosives and rushes the building, we return to present**
Calvin: {Oh.}
CAP: *stifles a laugh* Sorry. It is kind of funny, and you did hire him to damage the building.
Pollock: Yes, and my insurance is comprehensive, if costly. But I can't let this pass without some revenge.
Calvin: {Beating me up is a little much for an honest mistake, though, isn't it?}
CAP: Yeah, and it's not very challenging, either.
Calvin: *turns to stare at the panda* {What the hell does that mean? And whose side are you on?}
Pollock: It means you're a clumsy oaf. But it's a fair point, and I think I can do something a little more in keeping with the spirit of the occasion.
Calvin: Don't put a hole in the wall! I don't want to lose my security deposit!
Pollock: No, instead I will delete all the apps off your smartphone! And then lock it so you can't add any more!
CAP: *leaps forward aggressively* You monster! It will only be able to function as a phone then. And maybe as a camera!
Calvin: {And a paperweight, which is most of what it does now.}
Pollock: *removes some small device from her coat pocket, begins tapping on screen* I doubt you'll be so sanguine once I remove the Osprey Alert!
Calvin: {Wait, stop! They don't sell it any more, I won't be able to get it even with a new phone!}
Pollock: *laughs maliciously* I know! I had it removed because, well, because only three people bought it, not profitable at all, but the fact is I just put it on the market in the hopes you'd buy it so I could get access to your phone! You didn't read the Terms of Service! Hahahaha!
*Pollock continues tapping and deftly backflips away from the panda's attempted tackle. Then a frown crosses Pollock's face*
Pollock: Do you really not have anything else on this phone but Osprey Alert?
Calvin: {What part of it mostly functioning as a paperweight didn't you understand? I'm quite content to use my flip phone for phone-related activities.}
CAP: Ha, you didn't count on Calvin's natural desire to minimize contact with all other life in the universe! And you should been more worried about my fist's desire to make contact with your face!
Pollock: Oh, how witty, spend long thinking that one up? It isn't over yet, my access to Calvin's phone goes farther than you'd think.
*Pollock swipes a finger across the screen and Calvin's phone sprouts six thin, wire legs from its side. It turns to face Calvin, electricity crackling from one of the plug-in ports, then leaps for him. Calvin ducks, and the phone goes flying into the kitchen. Calvin scrambles towards the panda in the living room, only to be kicked in the side by Pollock and sent tumbling down the hall. Clever Adolescent Panda's second tackle attempt is more successful, and drives Pollock into the side of the dining room table. Calvin rolls up to see the phone lunging for him again.*
Calvin: {Ack, crazy phone, crazy phone!} *Calvin kicks at it, but the phone hops straight up, and lands on his leg, sinking the wire in, then shocking him. The panda, having hopped onto the breakfast bar, sees this and dives to the rescue, pulling the phone off. Pollock comes around the corner into the hallway.*
Calvin: {Switch opponents!}
CAP: What?
Pollock: Are you seriously going to challenge me?
Calvin: {Bet on it bunky, I've been taking yoga. I'm as strong and flexible as Gumby and Hercules combined!}
*As the panda tries to corral the phone and grab a frying pan or pot to smash it with, Calvin charges down the hallway, fist raised. Pollock crouches low to duck the punch, and punches him directly in the face, sending him back down the hall near the guest bathroom. Calvin tumbles his way inside and slams the door.*
Pollock: Oh, that's just sad, but I really should have just gone this route in the first place. It's so much fun.
*Pollock steps to the door, and as she goes to kick it in, Calvin pulls it open. Unbalanced, Pollock does a split, half-in, half-out of the bathroom, and a bucket of water falls directly on her head. Calvin promptly smacks the side of the bucket as hard as he can. Pollock howls. Calvin steps over and out of the room.*
Calvin: {It worked, it worked! Get ready!}
*The panda has successfully smashed the phone, and picks up the pie that was ready some time ago from where it was kept hidden on the floor. Pollock wobbles down the hall, wet and disoriented with her ears ringing.*
Calvin: {Aim at the thing on the ceiling!}
CAP: Huh?
Calvin: {Just trust me!}
*The panda hurls the pie at the white ceramic cylinder on the ceiling. It shatters, and falls to the carpet, plastic bits and batteries everywhere. Nothing else happens.*
CAP: Where's the trap?
Calvin: *unconcerned* {What trap?}
CAP: What was that supposed to accomplish?
Calvin: {I just wanted you to smash the smoke alarm. It went off repeatedly yesterday when I was cooking and pissed me off.}
CAP: What is it with you and smoke alarms?
Pollock: *gaining composure* Really, have you no respect for the destructive power of fire?
Calvin: {Of course I do, I'm a wildlife biologist, I love the destructive and regenerative power of fire. I just really hate that loud shrill beeping the alarm makes.}
CAP: *exasperated* But that was the last pie we had!
Pollock: Ha-HA!
Calvin: *shrugs* {Eh, we got her with the bucket of water over the door gag, and nothing in the apartment I cared about got destroyed. I'm satisfied with that.}
CAP: I guess that's true.
Pollock: Perhaps I'm not done with you.
Calvin: {The phone's destroyed. It's 2 against 1 now.}
CAP: *with a wicked grin* Or, I could always come pay a visit to your offices again. Check out your break room, see how morale is holding up.
Pollock: *blanches* You wouldn't dare.
CAP: I'll bring Cassanee again, too.
Calvin: *shrugs again in a "whatcha gonna do? expression*
Pollock: *disgusted look* You're trying so hard to be indifferent, it's driving me nuts. Fine, I'll withdraw for now, but just you wait. I'll have my revenge on you all!
*With that, Pollock sweeps down the hall, pausing to give Calvin a contemptuous look, and lunge slightly in his direction to gauge the panda's reaction, before turning and leaping smoothly out the window.*
Calvin: {I'm hungry.}
CAP: Well I'm not making any more pies.
Calvin: {There's oatmeal raisin cookies there on the countertop.}
CAP: *munching a cookie* You think Pollock is going to try for revenge?
Calvin: {Probably. She got her company back, so she'll refocus. Hopefully with less emphasis on punching me. I'm getting too old for that shit.}
CAP: Yeah, I miss crazy science attacks.
Calvin: {Well, that stuff is hard to come up with sometimes.}
*Unbeknownst to either of them Pollock is hanging from the windowsill listening*
Pollock: Oh, I'll give you "crazy science", just you wait you miserable, smarty-pants fleabag.
Someone down in the courtyard: Hey, what are you doing hanging up there? Get lost before I call the cops!
Pollock: Crap. *Drops to the ground, sprints across courtyard to playground equipment, scrambles up the slide and leaps from the top* Don't mind me, I'm just one of those parkour-loving young folks! Ha, look how unconventionally I get from one place to the next!
* Editor's Note - See the story of Deadpool ruining Pollock's day while just trying to help in a story I might write someday, if I feel like it!
Calvin: {C'moooon, hurry up with those pies. Pollock will certainly be here any time now!}
Clever Adolescent Panda: Then stop wasting them on innocent people!
Calvin: {It's not my fault! I don't normally get this many people at the door.}
CAP: You're lucky the Jehovah's Witness was so forgiving about you accidentally knocking him over the railing.
Calvin: {Well I was sure it was Pollock in disguise, so I put a little something extra on the throw.}
CAP: So it wasn't an accident is what you're saying.
Calvin: {Pollock would have recovered and landed gracefully on her feet!}
*The panda's response is to shake its head and tsk loudly. Silence reigns for a few minutes.*
CAP: I think we're being too obvious just waiting for her to walk in the door.
Calvin: *Calvin turns to face the panda* {We tried subterfuge the last time we tried the pie gag, and you ate the pie. The time before that, I got pied. No being sneaky. We see Pollock, we throw pies, we have a good laugh.}
Voice from the window to their left: Unless Pollock dropped in before you were ready.
*Pollock is coming in through the window. What an unforeseen turn of events, said no one ever.*
Calvin: {What are you doing entering through a window like that menace, Spider-Man? You better not have damaged the screen!}
Pollock: *sighs with condescending patience* The screen is undamaged, which is more than we'll be able to say about your face in a few minutes.
*Clever Adolescent Panda surreptitiously removes a pie from the oven, but Calvin waves it off with a shake of his head, which he keeps Pollock from noticing by holding his hands out in a placating gesture*
Calvin: {That's pretty hostile. What's the problem?}
Pollock: You ruined my plans again, you witless buffoon. First you stopped buying Deadpool, just as he was about to help me retake my company by ruining it. . .
*Flash to two months ago. Pollock and Deadpool stand in the alley across from ExpanCo headquarters. It's dark, a little breezy, pretty quiet on the streets, though.*
Pollock: Are you sure you understand your task?
Deadpool: *impatiently* [Yes, I've blown buildings up for insurance money before.]
Pollock: I told you I don't need the building destroyed. We just need to damage it enough to hurt the companies' reputation and standing. No endangering lives.
Deadpool: *making wanking motion* [Sure that seems a reasonable request in this case of industrial espionage and stock manipulation. Only hurt people economically by taking their jobs. I'll leave half the explosive here, in this nondescript container.]
*Deadpool is referring to a "Toys for Tots" box*
Pollock: Perhaps locked inside the van would be better.
Deadpool: [Fine, just like a capitalist, hoarding everything for yourself. *throws explosive in the van* Now can I be violent?]
Pollock: Absolutely.
*As Deadpool prepares to cross the street, he begins to fade out*
Deadpool: [Oh no, Calvin must have stopped buying my high-selling comic book and so I'm fading back into my dimension! Also I'm talking like a Silver Age DC Character.]
Pollock: *contemplates kicking van, opts for deep breathing instead* If you want your former business ruined, you have to do it yourself.
*Back in the present day*
CAP: You still haven't gotten to that?! I gave up waiting for you to ever call me to help.
Pollock: I took care of it, but I followed Calvin's advice to threaten some of the major shareholders with painful death in exchange for their shares. Except that one stubborn, elderly gent I had committed by impersonating his son, who I had abducted ahead of time.
CAP: *A little dumbfounded* What?
Calvin: {Jeez, that's pretty messed up, dude.}
Pollock: *sneers* Oh yes, psychiatric hospitals make you uncomfortable don't they? With your mental state, I'm not surprised. Anyway, I was embracing my inner super-villain, as I believe you suggested.
Calvin: {Sounds like you should be thanking me then, which doesn't make me feel as great as I'd hoped. Of course, in my head you following my plan also meant the end of you whining about not having control of your company.}
Pollock: Yes, all was going well. Employee morale was back up. We were getting back into wild science, and then you started buying Gwenpool.
CAP: Don't tell me she started showing up.
Calvin: {And I did that the same time I dropped Deadpool.}
Pollock: But he didn't make a real appearance until a month or so after you started buying the book.
*Flashback to one month ago. Deadpool reappears in the middle of the same street he vanished from. And is immediately run over by a bicycle. Wade picks himself up, shoots out the tires, and spends five minutes beating the bike messenger.*
Deadpool: *finished punching for the moment* [Where is Pollock? Where's the van with the rest of my explosives? The building doesn't look damaged at all! She must have been captured and is being held prisoner! Don't worry, I'll save you, not because you're a damsel, but because we're friends and you won't pay me if you get blown up along with the building. So rescue first, then destruction. Or simultaneous. Whichever.]
*As Wade shoulders his bag with the remaining explosives and rushes the building, we return to present**
Calvin: {Oh.}
CAP: *stifles a laugh* Sorry. It is kind of funny, and you did hire him to damage the building.
Pollock: Yes, and my insurance is comprehensive, if costly. But I can't let this pass without some revenge.
Calvin: {Beating me up is a little much for an honest mistake, though, isn't it?}
CAP: Yeah, and it's not very challenging, either.
Calvin: *turns to stare at the panda* {What the hell does that mean? And whose side are you on?}
Pollock: It means you're a clumsy oaf. But it's a fair point, and I think I can do something a little more in keeping with the spirit of the occasion.
Calvin: Don't put a hole in the wall! I don't want to lose my security deposit!
Pollock: No, instead I will delete all the apps off your smartphone! And then lock it so you can't add any more!
CAP: *leaps forward aggressively* You monster! It will only be able to function as a phone then. And maybe as a camera!
Calvin: {And a paperweight, which is most of what it does now.}
Pollock: *removes some small device from her coat pocket, begins tapping on screen* I doubt you'll be so sanguine once I remove the Osprey Alert!
Calvin: {Wait, stop! They don't sell it any more, I won't be able to get it even with a new phone!}
Pollock: *laughs maliciously* I know! I had it removed because, well, because only three people bought it, not profitable at all, but the fact is I just put it on the market in the hopes you'd buy it so I could get access to your phone! You didn't read the Terms of Service! Hahahaha!
*Pollock continues tapping and deftly backflips away from the panda's attempted tackle. Then a frown crosses Pollock's face*
Pollock: Do you really not have anything else on this phone but Osprey Alert?
Calvin: {What part of it mostly functioning as a paperweight didn't you understand? I'm quite content to use my flip phone for phone-related activities.}
CAP: Ha, you didn't count on Calvin's natural desire to minimize contact with all other life in the universe! And you should been more worried about my fist's desire to make contact with your face!
Pollock: Oh, how witty, spend long thinking that one up? It isn't over yet, my access to Calvin's phone goes farther than you'd think.
*Pollock swipes a finger across the screen and Calvin's phone sprouts six thin, wire legs from its side. It turns to face Calvin, electricity crackling from one of the plug-in ports, then leaps for him. Calvin ducks, and the phone goes flying into the kitchen. Calvin scrambles towards the panda in the living room, only to be kicked in the side by Pollock and sent tumbling down the hall. Clever Adolescent Panda's second tackle attempt is more successful, and drives Pollock into the side of the dining room table. Calvin rolls up to see the phone lunging for him again.*
Calvin: {Ack, crazy phone, crazy phone!} *Calvin kicks at it, but the phone hops straight up, and lands on his leg, sinking the wire in, then shocking him. The panda, having hopped onto the breakfast bar, sees this and dives to the rescue, pulling the phone off. Pollock comes around the corner into the hallway.*
Calvin: {Switch opponents!}
CAP: What?
Pollock: Are you seriously going to challenge me?
Calvin: {Bet on it bunky, I've been taking yoga. I'm as strong and flexible as Gumby and Hercules combined!}
*As the panda tries to corral the phone and grab a frying pan or pot to smash it with, Calvin charges down the hallway, fist raised. Pollock crouches low to duck the punch, and punches him directly in the face, sending him back down the hall near the guest bathroom. Calvin tumbles his way inside and slams the door.*
Pollock: Oh, that's just sad, but I really should have just gone this route in the first place. It's so much fun.
*Pollock steps to the door, and as she goes to kick it in, Calvin pulls it open. Unbalanced, Pollock does a split, half-in, half-out of the bathroom, and a bucket of water falls directly on her head. Calvin promptly smacks the side of the bucket as hard as he can. Pollock howls. Calvin steps over and out of the room.*
Calvin: {It worked, it worked! Get ready!}
*The panda has successfully smashed the phone, and picks up the pie that was ready some time ago from where it was kept hidden on the floor. Pollock wobbles down the hall, wet and disoriented with her ears ringing.*
Calvin: {Aim at the thing on the ceiling!}
CAP: Huh?
Calvin: {Just trust me!}
*The panda hurls the pie at the white ceramic cylinder on the ceiling. It shatters, and falls to the carpet, plastic bits and batteries everywhere. Nothing else happens.*
CAP: Where's the trap?
Calvin: *unconcerned* {What trap?}
CAP: What was that supposed to accomplish?
Calvin: {I just wanted you to smash the smoke alarm. It went off repeatedly yesterday when I was cooking and pissed me off.}
CAP: What is it with you and smoke alarms?
Pollock: *gaining composure* Really, have you no respect for the destructive power of fire?
Calvin: {Of course I do, I'm a wildlife biologist, I love the destructive and regenerative power of fire. I just really hate that loud shrill beeping the alarm makes.}
CAP: *exasperated* But that was the last pie we had!
Pollock: Ha-HA!
Calvin: *shrugs* {Eh, we got her with the bucket of water over the door gag, and nothing in the apartment I cared about got destroyed. I'm satisfied with that.}
CAP: I guess that's true.
Pollock: Perhaps I'm not done with you.
Calvin: {The phone's destroyed. It's 2 against 1 now.}
CAP: *with a wicked grin* Or, I could always come pay a visit to your offices again. Check out your break room, see how morale is holding up.
Pollock: *blanches* You wouldn't dare.
CAP: I'll bring Cassanee again, too.
Calvin: *shrugs again in a "whatcha gonna do? expression*
Pollock: *disgusted look* You're trying so hard to be indifferent, it's driving me nuts. Fine, I'll withdraw for now, but just you wait. I'll have my revenge on you all!
*With that, Pollock sweeps down the hall, pausing to give Calvin a contemptuous look, and lunge slightly in his direction to gauge the panda's reaction, before turning and leaping smoothly out the window.*
Calvin: {I'm hungry.}
CAP: Well I'm not making any more pies.
Calvin: {There's oatmeal raisin cookies there on the countertop.}
CAP: *munching a cookie* You think Pollock is going to try for revenge?
Calvin: {Probably. She got her company back, so she'll refocus. Hopefully with less emphasis on punching me. I'm getting too old for that shit.}
CAP: Yeah, I miss crazy science attacks.
Calvin: {Well, that stuff is hard to come up with sometimes.}
*Unbeknownst to either of them Pollock is hanging from the windowsill listening*
Pollock: Oh, I'll give you "crazy science", just you wait you miserable, smarty-pants fleabag.
Someone down in the courtyard: Hey, what are you doing hanging up there? Get lost before I call the cops!
Pollock: Crap. *Drops to the ground, sprints across courtyard to playground equipment, scrambles up the slide and leaps from the top* Don't mind me, I'm just one of those parkour-loving young folks! Ha, look how unconventionally I get from one place to the next!
* Editor's Note - See the story of Deadpool ruining Pollock's day while just trying to help in a story I might write someday, if I feel like it!
Sunday, April 02, 2017
Earthworm Jim 1.2 - The Book of Doom
Plot: Evil the Cat, having finished all the other items on his to-do list, sets about destroying the universe. Which requires the Book of Doom. Really it's more of a Page of Doom, accidentally printed into a pop-up animals book, the only copy of which just so happens to belong to Jim. Evil, never one to do things halfway, arrives on Jim's doorstep with his army of henchrats and demands the book. Jim, while not understanding why Evil wants the book, refuses, but is downed with various cheese-related weaponry. Peter buys them a reprieve by calling on other dogs to help.
So Evil opts for the more subtle approach of pretending to be a sad waif with nothing to pass the time, like a book perhaps. Jim, the story having triggered a painful flashback to his traumatic childhood, hands over the book, only to realize his mistake as the child boards a spaceship and rockets off-planet. The attempt to catch up to the villains nearly ends in a crash into a black hole, but angrily shooting things averts death. Unfortunately, Jim can't recall what was on the critical page so as to figure out where Evil is headed. Fortunately, the scent of the Reeking Beasts can revive any memory. Even more fortunately, Evil is already on that planet, since the method to destroy the universe relies on making all Reeking Beasts shriek at the sight of a particular object. Still even more fortunately, laser eye surgery has not been introduced to the Reeking Beasts.
Quote of the Episode: Jim's 4 hyper-intelligent brains - 'I'm hungry! I'm cold! I'm itchy! Where's the girls?'
Times Peter loses control: 1 (3 overall).
Cow? Yes.
Other: There's a little unconnected vignette in each episode. This week's is a "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" parody with Professor Monkey-for-a-Head. Most notably, we learn he invented the pay toilet. Also that the Monkey likes watching Earthworm Jim.
The reason the Page of Doom is in Fuzzy Wuzzy's Funny Animal Pop-Up Book is because some Gutenberg wannabe slacked off on work and left printing the children's books in the hands of his assistant, Mongo. Who then accidentally inserted the printing plate of the Page with the Secret of Ultimate Destruction.
Mongo is such a maligned name. Not as much as "Nimrod", though. Saw that as a person's name on a storefront window. Can't recall for what business. Still, Mongo's rarely get positive representation in fiction. I guess Blazing Saddles Mongo did OK once he turned to the side of Good. I'm sure the citizens of Rock Ridge welcomed him with open arms. Which he then broke with a heart handshake.
Every time Evil says the "Book of Doom", one of his henchrats punctuates it with a guitar riff. Not on orders, simply because he enjoys it. I guess a henchman for an evil cat stuck living on a planet named Heck takes its joy where it can.
Evil does recognize there will be no historians to write about his triumph if the universe is destroyed. He fails to recognize he will be destroyed, since he tells his prime Henchrat that they will enjoy their triumph afterward with some well-deserved gloating. Maybe he expects to gloat in the afterlife. To be fair, he clearly didn't expect to get this far and hadn't given it much thought. "Gloating" was his off the cuff answer.
So Evil opts for the more subtle approach of pretending to be a sad waif with nothing to pass the time, like a book perhaps. Jim, the story having triggered a painful flashback to his traumatic childhood, hands over the book, only to realize his mistake as the child boards a spaceship and rockets off-planet. The attempt to catch up to the villains nearly ends in a crash into a black hole, but angrily shooting things averts death. Unfortunately, Jim can't recall what was on the critical page so as to figure out where Evil is headed. Fortunately, the scent of the Reeking Beasts can revive any memory. Even more fortunately, Evil is already on that planet, since the method to destroy the universe relies on making all Reeking Beasts shriek at the sight of a particular object. Still even more fortunately, laser eye surgery has not been introduced to the Reeking Beasts.
Quote of the Episode: Jim's 4 hyper-intelligent brains - 'I'm hungry! I'm cold! I'm itchy! Where's the girls?'
Times Peter loses control: 1 (3 overall).
Cow? Yes.
Other: There's a little unconnected vignette in each episode. This week's is a "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" parody with Professor Monkey-for-a-Head. Most notably, we learn he invented the pay toilet. Also that the Monkey likes watching Earthworm Jim.
The reason the Page of Doom is in Fuzzy Wuzzy's Funny Animal Pop-Up Book is because some Gutenberg wannabe slacked off on work and left printing the children's books in the hands of his assistant, Mongo. Who then accidentally inserted the printing plate of the Page with the Secret of Ultimate Destruction.
Mongo is such a maligned name. Not as much as "Nimrod", though. Saw that as a person's name on a storefront window. Can't recall for what business. Still, Mongo's rarely get positive representation in fiction. I guess Blazing Saddles Mongo did OK once he turned to the side of Good. I'm sure the citizens of Rock Ridge welcomed him with open arms. Which he then broke with a heart handshake.
Every time Evil says the "Book of Doom", one of his henchrats punctuates it with a guitar riff. Not on orders, simply because he enjoys it. I guess a henchman for an evil cat stuck living on a planet named Heck takes its joy where it can.
Evil does recognize there will be no historians to write about his triumph if the universe is destroyed. He fails to recognize he will be destroyed, since he tells his prime Henchrat that they will enjoy their triumph afterward with some well-deserved gloating. Maybe he expects to gloat in the afterlife. To be fair, he clearly didn't expect to get this far and hadn't given it much thought. "Gloating" was his off the cuff answer.
Friday, March 31, 2017
What I Bought 3/25/2017 - Part 2
More comics. In both these books, things aren't looking too great for the heroes by the end of the issue. Oh well, it's only a middle chapter, there are still opportunities to turn things around.
Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #18, by Ryan North (writer), Erica Henderson (artist), Rico Renzi (color artist), Travis Lanham (letterer) - Everyone is always hunting Squirrel Girl and trying to put her on the wall. Kraven, that crazy cosplayer lady, now Melissa.
Doreen is really enjoying her flying suit, even offering to get ones for Koi Boi and Chipmunk Hunk. Nancy on the other hand is not convinced of Melissa's benevolence and quickly sniffs out that she is a one of those villains who conquers the world because she thinks she can save it, or rule it properly. And she uses the super-cheap electronic tags her company produces to control all sorts of animals, giving her an army of them.
One problem I had with this is, when Melissa's threatening to sic the rats on the squirrels, she's still standing right there in front of a super-strong person. Doreen, just jump forward and punch her in the face really fucking hard. I know this is not how problems are typically solved in Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, but some people are asses and need to get punched. I don't think Melissa is the sort of character who will be OK if her plan proceeds without her. Maybe we'll learn different in the next issue, but my interpretation is her ideology boils down to thinking she's better than everyone else and that's why she should be boss. Folks like that are not prepared to risk dying for the cause, because how are they gonna benefit if they're dead? So punch her hard enough to make her worried about that possibility.
Not really the right attitude to have for reading this particular comic, I know. Should have saved that for the book below. I wonder if Alfredo the Chicken and Chef Bear will make a surprise return at the end of this story to help Doreen? I just know Chef Bear is good on the inside.
Henderson draws Melissa more from a middle distance and at eye level up to the point where Nancy sees through her lies and Doreen takes them out the window. After that Melissa is drawn either from a lower angle, so we're looking up at her, or she's drawn looking downward, even if not necessarily at the reader. And she's much closer to us, dominating the panels she's in. If she and Doreen share a panel, Melissa is always positioned as dominant, looking down, Doreen looking up. It's good, solid work. Also, I still really like the Flying Squirrel Suit design. Pity its creator was evil.
Renzi used a lot of purple in the backgrounds this issue. The sky is purple, a lot of the windows seem to be purplish, and he uses it for the background in a lot of the close-up panels once they're outside. I think it gets darker over the course of the issue as well. Makes sense with the situation getting worse, plus it's getting later into the night, so it's also appropriate from that perspective.
Cave Carson Has a Cybernetic Eye #6, by Jon Rivera and Gerard Way (writers), Michael Avon Oeming (artist), Nick Filardi (color artist), Clem Robins (letterer) - All right, which one of you darn kids broke my window? I bet it was the guy in the mask. Who do you think you are, that one kid from the Mighty Ducks movies?
Cave and the others are too late to stop the release of the Whisperer, which merges with the elder head of EDX. Cave's attempt to kill the creature by ramming the Mole into its face comes up short, as they are confronted with a giant floaty brain. At which point Cave's cybernetic eye leaps out of his head and skitters away.
All this freaking out over one giant, floating brain. Where's the Star Fox team when you need them? They'd take this guy out and make it home for breakfast.
Cave, Wild Dog, and Chloe also drank the psychedelic night pudding to protect their minds from the Whisperer, which gives Filardi a chance to have some fun with the colors. The neon green he uses for the lighting inside the Mole, or the rainbows erupting from the guys Chloe shot. The red lines radiating out from Mad Dog's head, him as a source of violence, bringing death like the Sun brings light. I notice the current boss of EDX, son of the man now merged with a giant brain, was holding a bowl of something that also looked like night pudding. Is he also trying to keep his head clear. He certainly didn't look very happy for a man proclaiming victory, although he was pretty excited about the giant, floating brain. The sequence where Cave's eye deserts him is drawn as three panels that form a wide-eyed grinning face. Hard to make a guy's eye jumping bloodily out of the socket more disturbing, but that managed it. Nice work, Mr. Oeming.
Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #18, by Ryan North (writer), Erica Henderson (artist), Rico Renzi (color artist), Travis Lanham (letterer) - Everyone is always hunting Squirrel Girl and trying to put her on the wall. Kraven, that crazy cosplayer lady, now Melissa.Doreen is really enjoying her flying suit, even offering to get ones for Koi Boi and Chipmunk Hunk. Nancy on the other hand is not convinced of Melissa's benevolence and quickly sniffs out that she is a one of those villains who conquers the world because she thinks she can save it, or rule it properly. And she uses the super-cheap electronic tags her company produces to control all sorts of animals, giving her an army of them.
One problem I had with this is, when Melissa's threatening to sic the rats on the squirrels, she's still standing right there in front of a super-strong person. Doreen, just jump forward and punch her in the face really fucking hard. I know this is not how problems are typically solved in Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, but some people are asses and need to get punched. I don't think Melissa is the sort of character who will be OK if her plan proceeds without her. Maybe we'll learn different in the next issue, but my interpretation is her ideology boils down to thinking she's better than everyone else and that's why she should be boss. Folks like that are not prepared to risk dying for the cause, because how are they gonna benefit if they're dead? So punch her hard enough to make her worried about that possibility.
Not really the right attitude to have for reading this particular comic, I know. Should have saved that for the book below. I wonder if Alfredo the Chicken and Chef Bear will make a surprise return at the end of this story to help Doreen? I just know Chef Bear is good on the inside.
Henderson draws Melissa more from a middle distance and at eye level up to the point where Nancy sees through her lies and Doreen takes them out the window. After that Melissa is drawn either from a lower angle, so we're looking up at her, or she's drawn looking downward, even if not necessarily at the reader. And she's much closer to us, dominating the panels she's in. If she and Doreen share a panel, Melissa is always positioned as dominant, looking down, Doreen looking up. It's good, solid work. Also, I still really like the Flying Squirrel Suit design. Pity its creator was evil.
Renzi used a lot of purple in the backgrounds this issue. The sky is purple, a lot of the windows seem to be purplish, and he uses it for the background in a lot of the close-up panels once they're outside. I think it gets darker over the course of the issue as well. Makes sense with the situation getting worse, plus it's getting later into the night, so it's also appropriate from that perspective.
Cave Carson Has a Cybernetic Eye #6, by Jon Rivera and Gerard Way (writers), Michael Avon Oeming (artist), Nick Filardi (color artist), Clem Robins (letterer) - All right, which one of you darn kids broke my window? I bet it was the guy in the mask. Who do you think you are, that one kid from the Mighty Ducks movies?Cave and the others are too late to stop the release of the Whisperer, which merges with the elder head of EDX. Cave's attempt to kill the creature by ramming the Mole into its face comes up short, as they are confronted with a giant floaty brain. At which point Cave's cybernetic eye leaps out of his head and skitters away.
All this freaking out over one giant, floating brain. Where's the Star Fox team when you need them? They'd take this guy out and make it home for breakfast.
Cave, Wild Dog, and Chloe also drank the psychedelic night pudding to protect their minds from the Whisperer, which gives Filardi a chance to have some fun with the colors. The neon green he uses for the lighting inside the Mole, or the rainbows erupting from the guys Chloe shot. The red lines radiating out from Mad Dog's head, him as a source of violence, bringing death like the Sun brings light. I notice the current boss of EDX, son of the man now merged with a giant brain, was holding a bowl of something that also looked like night pudding. Is he also trying to keep his head clear. He certainly didn't look very happy for a man proclaiming victory, although he was pretty excited about the giant, floating brain. The sequence where Cave's eye deserts him is drawn as three panels that form a wide-eyed grinning face. Hard to make a guy's eye jumping bloodily out of the socket more disturbing, but that managed it. Nice work, Mr. Oeming.
Thursday, March 30, 2017
X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)
Thanks to the combination of my going to visit Alex, and his not waking up when he said he would, I got to see X-Men: Apocalypse. I'll get Alex back for that someday, though I'll also accept cash.
I didn't see the entire movie. He did finally get up and we left to run around town a bit right about the time Xavier's big play telepathic attack on Apocalypse was getting squashed resoundingly. Nice hustle there Chuck. Glad to see you've worked on honing your skills over the years. McAvoy Charles Xavier is the laziest motherfucker ever, not to mention a creep for telepathically spying on a lady, especially since he'd mindwiped her in the past. Every time he runs up against another telepath or something, unless he's got some help in the physical realm, he gets his butt handed to him. Emma Frost was more than a match for him when it was just the two of them matching their skills, and now Apoclaypse smoked him.
Of all the X-Men movies, it's the one that most felt like what I would think of when you say "X-Men comic", for good or ill. Some of the costume styles, the Mansion getting destroyed, and the X-Men in this case being a ragtag collection of whatever mutants happened to be available at the moment. Plus the presence of Apocalypse. Not that Apocalypse had much presence. I'm not sure if it was the actor or the film gave him nothing to work with, but he was much too softspoken. Leave rubbing your hands and speaking in a breathy, creepy whisper for Mr. Sinister. Apocalypse needs to be LOUD, like Thor, talking shit and pronouncing doom, but no. I guess the idea was he was trying to convince his Horsemen he was a kindly, benevolent ruler, but at a certain point when he's vowing to destroy the world, that facade kind of falls away, yes? Dispense with the bullshit.
Magneto retiring to life as a family man was kind of touching, even once you realize they've introduced his family just to kill them. The part where he tries to surrender himself rang true, but I was a fan of his turn at being a good guy in the '80s, trying to resist the urge to handle things the way he did in the past.
I did like how the film presented Quicksilver's super-speed, although the way it was kind of presented as a joke, oh he made sure to grab all the pizza in the middle of the explosion, felt at odds with the rest of the film, which is making such a big deal about the world being in imminent danger.
When the kids are leaving the theater and discussing the original Star Wars films, and Jean ends with everyone knows the third one is the worst, I assume that was a jab at X-Men: The Last Stand? I've still never watched it, but recall Len telling me it was a good X-Force movie, but not much of an X-Men movie. But X-Men: Apocalypse is also the third film in this reboot, flashback, whatever run. First Class, Days of Future Past, Apocalypse. So was the film making fun of itself?
The Wolverine cameo was unnecessary, and that was one of my problems with the film, was it felt as though they were trying to cram in too many things. They have to do Apocalypse, and explain all this stuff about his body-swapping and power absorbing. Add in Magneto and his family drama, plus collecting the Horsemen, which involves introducing them at least a little. Have to introduce Cyclops, Jean, Nightcrawler, Pietro. Here's a whole thing where the school blows up, which felt unnecessary, and now the government is getting involved.
I think the idea was that the governments of the world aren't sending out giant purple robots to kill mutants, but that doesn't mean they aren't waiting to see if they need to do that, and things are still pretty lousy for mutants in general. Having a small handful of mutants casually remove the worlds' entire nuclear arsenal and being to destabilize the planet itself will probably produce a response that will not be good for the vast majority of entirely innocent mutants. But perhaps have that running as an undercurrent, rather than derailing the story for a visit to Colonel Stryker's Weapon X Laboratory and Fun-Time Interrogation Palace, just so Hugh Jackman can pop up for five minutes.
I didn't see the entire movie. He did finally get up and we left to run around town a bit right about the time Xavier's big play telepathic attack on Apocalypse was getting squashed resoundingly. Nice hustle there Chuck. Glad to see you've worked on honing your skills over the years. McAvoy Charles Xavier is the laziest motherfucker ever, not to mention a creep for telepathically spying on a lady, especially since he'd mindwiped her in the past. Every time he runs up against another telepath or something, unless he's got some help in the physical realm, he gets his butt handed to him. Emma Frost was more than a match for him when it was just the two of them matching their skills, and now Apoclaypse smoked him.
Of all the X-Men movies, it's the one that most felt like what I would think of when you say "X-Men comic", for good or ill. Some of the costume styles, the Mansion getting destroyed, and the X-Men in this case being a ragtag collection of whatever mutants happened to be available at the moment. Plus the presence of Apocalypse. Not that Apocalypse had much presence. I'm not sure if it was the actor or the film gave him nothing to work with, but he was much too softspoken. Leave rubbing your hands and speaking in a breathy, creepy whisper for Mr. Sinister. Apocalypse needs to be LOUD, like Thor, talking shit and pronouncing doom, but no. I guess the idea was he was trying to convince his Horsemen he was a kindly, benevolent ruler, but at a certain point when he's vowing to destroy the world, that facade kind of falls away, yes? Dispense with the bullshit.
Magneto retiring to life as a family man was kind of touching, even once you realize they've introduced his family just to kill them. The part where he tries to surrender himself rang true, but I was a fan of his turn at being a good guy in the '80s, trying to resist the urge to handle things the way he did in the past.
I did like how the film presented Quicksilver's super-speed, although the way it was kind of presented as a joke, oh he made sure to grab all the pizza in the middle of the explosion, felt at odds with the rest of the film, which is making such a big deal about the world being in imminent danger.
When the kids are leaving the theater and discussing the original Star Wars films, and Jean ends with everyone knows the third one is the worst, I assume that was a jab at X-Men: The Last Stand? I've still never watched it, but recall Len telling me it was a good X-Force movie, but not much of an X-Men movie. But X-Men: Apocalypse is also the third film in this reboot, flashback, whatever run. First Class, Days of Future Past, Apocalypse. So was the film making fun of itself?
The Wolverine cameo was unnecessary, and that was one of my problems with the film, was it felt as though they were trying to cram in too many things. They have to do Apocalypse, and explain all this stuff about his body-swapping and power absorbing. Add in Magneto and his family drama, plus collecting the Horsemen, which involves introducing them at least a little. Have to introduce Cyclops, Jean, Nightcrawler, Pietro. Here's a whole thing where the school blows up, which felt unnecessary, and now the government is getting involved.
I think the idea was that the governments of the world aren't sending out giant purple robots to kill mutants, but that doesn't mean they aren't waiting to see if they need to do that, and things are still pretty lousy for mutants in general. Having a small handful of mutants casually remove the worlds' entire nuclear arsenal and being to destabilize the planet itself will probably produce a response that will not be good for the vast majority of entirely innocent mutants. But perhaps have that running as an undercurrent, rather than derailing the story for a visit to Colonel Stryker's Weapon X Laboratory and Fun-Time Interrogation Palace, just so Hugh Jackman can pop up for five minutes.
Wednesday, March 29, 2017
What I Bought 3/25/2017 - Part 1
I ventured to Columbia Saturday and was able to find most of the books from this month I'd missed. There was one I couldn't track down, but I should have it by next week. For now, let's start with the two comics that are about to be canceled. Time to wrap everything up!
Great Lakes Avengers #6, by Zac Gorman (writer), Will Robson (artist), Tamra Bonvillain (color artist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - Homage to that Excalibur cover with the apologetic janitor?
Doorman is trying to carry out his duties for Oblivion, but the ghost of Greg Garlick is really taking advantage of his good will to remain on this plane. Elsewhere, Bertha has some trouble dealing with Dr. Nod, who has taken way too many of his pills based on her powers. And a couple of, I don't know if they're hipsters, but they seem like jackasses, try to buy the GLA's RV. Then the team assembles to fight Dr. Nod.
The parts about Doorman trying to do his job, but not even being sure how old he is any longer was probably my favorite part. That whole thread about how much being a servant of the manifestation of some cosmic force can mess with your sense of perspective is just very interesting to me. The rest, not so much. I'm curious about Gorman's attempts to have the team interact with the local community in their own peculiar way. That felt like it was building to something, but not much chance of a successful resolution there, I imagine.
I really can't think of much else to say. The ghost of Greg reminded me of the Violator from Spawn, when he was in his creepy clown form. When Dr. Nod clocks Bertha and leaves, I think she's meant to be losing consciousness, but initially read it as her not bothering to try. A "why bother?"
Patsy Walker, aka Hellcat #16, by Kate Leth (writer), Brittney L. Williams (artist), Rachelle Rosenberg (color artist), Clayton Cowles (letterer) - Somehow I can't imagine Jessica Jones being much fun at a pajama party.
Patsy's magical sneezes are getting worse, but Hedy is dating Belial as a result of Hellstrom trying to get some payback for being suckered, and the two of them actually attempt to help Patsy. By Belial giving her a quiet place she can talk about all the stuff she's bottling up, because the stress is wearing her down and mixing dangerously with her own magical abilities and all the other magic shit she's been mixed up in so far.
Gotta love Hedy trying to dodge responsibility for sending Daimon after Patsy. Oh, you told Son of Satan his ex was out to get him and you're surprised when invokes Hell as a pre-emptive strike? Also, I know this is something likely beyond Leth's control, but Jennifer Walters is out of her coma. She's not checking in with any of her friends, letting them know she's OK. She's not, but certainly trying to convince herself and everyone else she is.
The issue has to have a lot of exposition, with the need to explain what's happening to Patsy, plus how Hedy started dating a demon. But it's still funny in places, and fairly interesting. I didn't really understand why everyone was glaring at her in that one panel before she sneezes them into Hell. As opposed to the panel of everyone glaring at her one page earlier, right after she insists she's fine. They're on her about keeping stuff bottled up, then she's supposed to just let bygones be bygones for all the crap Hedy's pulled, and then they're telling her to calm down, and my sympathies were firmly with Patsy. She's clearly been trying not to explode, not to let stuff out, and frankly, she deserves the chance.
Williams drew some great expressions for Patsy, pretty much the entire time she was at Hedy's. The screaming, "I AM RELAXED!", followed by a moment of trying to get herself together, then frustration, then despair in the course of 3 panels. Or the near-eruption at Hedy and Belial's nauseating lovey-dovey talk. That "w h a t" panel, and the way Cowles put that word in their helps. Catches the eye, though I admit I don't know if it's meant to be she can barely get the word out she's so pissed, or that she's still trying to rein herself in. I can't quite figure America, Jubilee, and Bailey all being extremely into Hedy/Belial, but Williams gave them some pretty great looks for the panel. I think Sharon's, "I'm not sure how to react to what I'm seeing," would most closely resemble my reaction.
I'm surprised Marvel gave this book as long a leash as they did, but I'm glad they did.
Great Lakes Avengers #6, by Zac Gorman (writer), Will Robson (artist), Tamra Bonvillain (color artist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - Homage to that Excalibur cover with the apologetic janitor?Doorman is trying to carry out his duties for Oblivion, but the ghost of Greg Garlick is really taking advantage of his good will to remain on this plane. Elsewhere, Bertha has some trouble dealing with Dr. Nod, who has taken way too many of his pills based on her powers. And a couple of, I don't know if they're hipsters, but they seem like jackasses, try to buy the GLA's RV. Then the team assembles to fight Dr. Nod.
The parts about Doorman trying to do his job, but not even being sure how old he is any longer was probably my favorite part. That whole thread about how much being a servant of the manifestation of some cosmic force can mess with your sense of perspective is just very interesting to me. The rest, not so much. I'm curious about Gorman's attempts to have the team interact with the local community in their own peculiar way. That felt like it was building to something, but not much chance of a successful resolution there, I imagine.
I really can't think of much else to say. The ghost of Greg reminded me of the Violator from Spawn, when he was in his creepy clown form. When Dr. Nod clocks Bertha and leaves, I think she's meant to be losing consciousness, but initially read it as her not bothering to try. A "why bother?"
Patsy Walker, aka Hellcat #16, by Kate Leth (writer), Brittney L. Williams (artist), Rachelle Rosenberg (color artist), Clayton Cowles (letterer) - Somehow I can't imagine Jessica Jones being much fun at a pajama party.Patsy's magical sneezes are getting worse, but Hedy is dating Belial as a result of Hellstrom trying to get some payback for being suckered, and the two of them actually attempt to help Patsy. By Belial giving her a quiet place she can talk about all the stuff she's bottling up, because the stress is wearing her down and mixing dangerously with her own magical abilities and all the other magic shit she's been mixed up in so far.
Gotta love Hedy trying to dodge responsibility for sending Daimon after Patsy. Oh, you told Son of Satan his ex was out to get him and you're surprised when invokes Hell as a pre-emptive strike? Also, I know this is something likely beyond Leth's control, but Jennifer Walters is out of her coma. She's not checking in with any of her friends, letting them know she's OK. She's not, but certainly trying to convince herself and everyone else she is.
The issue has to have a lot of exposition, with the need to explain what's happening to Patsy, plus how Hedy started dating a demon. But it's still funny in places, and fairly interesting. I didn't really understand why everyone was glaring at her in that one panel before she sneezes them into Hell. As opposed to the panel of everyone glaring at her one page earlier, right after she insists she's fine. They're on her about keeping stuff bottled up, then she's supposed to just let bygones be bygones for all the crap Hedy's pulled, and then they're telling her to calm down, and my sympathies were firmly with Patsy. She's clearly been trying not to explode, not to let stuff out, and frankly, she deserves the chance.
Williams drew some great expressions for Patsy, pretty much the entire time she was at Hedy's. The screaming, "I AM RELAXED!", followed by a moment of trying to get herself together, then frustration, then despair in the course of 3 panels. Or the near-eruption at Hedy and Belial's nauseating lovey-dovey talk. That "w h a t" panel, and the way Cowles put that word in their helps. Catches the eye, though I admit I don't know if it's meant to be she can barely get the word out she's so pissed, or that she's still trying to rein herself in. I can't quite figure America, Jubilee, and Bailey all being extremely into Hedy/Belial, but Williams gave them some pretty great looks for the panel. I think Sharon's, "I'm not sure how to react to what I'm seeing," would most closely resemble my reaction.
I'm surprised Marvel gave this book as long a leash as they did, but I'm glad they did.
Tuesday, March 28, 2017
Santiago - Mike Resnick
The title character of Santiago is a legendary outlaw in the outer Frontier of a galactic Democracy. The sort to which a thousand different acts are attributed, which everyone has heard of, but no one has seen. The sort of person everyone can pin their hopes on.
The story follows three characters who all have different hopes they think Santiago can make come true. The Jolly Swagman wants the vast collection of rare antiquities he's sure Santiago has. Virtue McKenzie (never has a first name been less accurate) wants to make her reputation as a journalist by finding Santiago and either get his story, or record his death. And Sebastian Nightingale Cain, who had been part of a series of failed revolutions before becoming a bounty hunter figures that killing Santiago would at least be doing something that mattered.
The book is ultimately about Cain, what he's after really. He's the gruff guy who's actually good inside, or the battered idealist. Not an asshole, but not going out of his way to help people. When he does help people, it seems to be in the hope they will stop pleading with him to do so if he does so he can have some quiet. Which is a motivation I found relatable. Still, when he throws in with Virtue or the Swagman, he tries to honor his side of the deal, in sharp contrast to those two who both sell him out at the first moment they think there's a better horse to back. Then when they learn they guessed wrong, they try to insist they're still partners with Cain.
Virtue seems to fare worst in the story. I don't think she's nearly as bad a person as the Swagman, and yet somehow I dislike her a lot more. Maybe because the Swagman is honest about the fact he doesn't give a damn about people, that they're merely potentially useful resources to help him acquire the collectibles he desires. While Virtue doesn't seem to take any pleasure from people being hurt, and seems constantly surprised that other bounty hunters are as compassionate as Cain, she also tries to carry this veneer or morality. Like there's some nobility to her goal which justifies using people and tossing them aside as casually as the Swagman does.
Also there's the fact she's presented as pretty incompetent. She bluffs a lot, and I kept waiting for her to encounter someone who either calls the bluff or flat out doesn't care about her threat and just kills her, but no dice. But she never has nearly as much information as she thinks, and half the time only seems able to stay involved in the hunt because certain parties think she makes a good decoy. Credit to her for leveraging that, I guess, but it's hard to be impressed by a character who's only actual skill is bullshitting.
Resnick had to go to some lengths to set things up so Cain couldn't simply kill them but I still would have found it more satisfying if he had. Once the characters reach Santiago, the end of the story is clear, but Resnick built up to it well. The entire process of Cain's pursuit of Santiago could be seen as a final series of tests or challenges to pass, to gauge his worth or mettle.
Resnick populates the book with a large cast of other characters, from other bounty hunters, to drug-addled artists, to corrupt businessmen, and so on. Each one gets introduced through a verse of some immense song created about the notables of the Frontier by a bard everyone calls Black Orpheus. Each chapter starts with a stanza, then the first page or two discuss how accurate Orpheus was in his song, as well as the circumstances of his meetings with the characters. And as this goes on throughout the book, it sort of charts the course of Orpheus' life as well, wandering the stars, meeting people and immortalizing them. Although Cain hates the song, since it stuck him with the nickname Songbird.
The plot moves at a brisk pace, and it's an easy read. I got through 100 pages one night, and when I realized I didn't have anything else I particularly wanted to do, I went ahead and tore through another 100. It's always nice to read something like that.
'"You're forcing me to insult you. the food is barely worth eating, let alone describing," said the Swagman irritably. "You're ruining what was a totally unmemorable meal to begin with."
"You owe it to me!" demanded Schussler.
"Later," said the Swagman. "It's tasting worse by the minute, thanks to your nagging."
Cain sighed, reached over with his implement, and picked up a piece of the artificial shellfish, after first rubbing it thoroughly in the cream sauce. he chewed it thoughtfully, then began describing the nuances of flavor to Schussler while the Swagman picked up his plate and walked back into the command cabin to finish his meal in isolation.'
The story follows three characters who all have different hopes they think Santiago can make come true. The Jolly Swagman wants the vast collection of rare antiquities he's sure Santiago has. Virtue McKenzie (never has a first name been less accurate) wants to make her reputation as a journalist by finding Santiago and either get his story, or record his death. And Sebastian Nightingale Cain, who had been part of a series of failed revolutions before becoming a bounty hunter figures that killing Santiago would at least be doing something that mattered.
The book is ultimately about Cain, what he's after really. He's the gruff guy who's actually good inside, or the battered idealist. Not an asshole, but not going out of his way to help people. When he does help people, it seems to be in the hope they will stop pleading with him to do so if he does so he can have some quiet. Which is a motivation I found relatable. Still, when he throws in with Virtue or the Swagman, he tries to honor his side of the deal, in sharp contrast to those two who both sell him out at the first moment they think there's a better horse to back. Then when they learn they guessed wrong, they try to insist they're still partners with Cain.
Virtue seems to fare worst in the story. I don't think she's nearly as bad a person as the Swagman, and yet somehow I dislike her a lot more. Maybe because the Swagman is honest about the fact he doesn't give a damn about people, that they're merely potentially useful resources to help him acquire the collectibles he desires. While Virtue doesn't seem to take any pleasure from people being hurt, and seems constantly surprised that other bounty hunters are as compassionate as Cain, she also tries to carry this veneer or morality. Like there's some nobility to her goal which justifies using people and tossing them aside as casually as the Swagman does.
Also there's the fact she's presented as pretty incompetent. She bluffs a lot, and I kept waiting for her to encounter someone who either calls the bluff or flat out doesn't care about her threat and just kills her, but no dice. But she never has nearly as much information as she thinks, and half the time only seems able to stay involved in the hunt because certain parties think she makes a good decoy. Credit to her for leveraging that, I guess, but it's hard to be impressed by a character who's only actual skill is bullshitting.
Resnick had to go to some lengths to set things up so Cain couldn't simply kill them but I still would have found it more satisfying if he had. Once the characters reach Santiago, the end of the story is clear, but Resnick built up to it well. The entire process of Cain's pursuit of Santiago could be seen as a final series of tests or challenges to pass, to gauge his worth or mettle.
Resnick populates the book with a large cast of other characters, from other bounty hunters, to drug-addled artists, to corrupt businessmen, and so on. Each one gets introduced through a verse of some immense song created about the notables of the Frontier by a bard everyone calls Black Orpheus. Each chapter starts with a stanza, then the first page or two discuss how accurate Orpheus was in his song, as well as the circumstances of his meetings with the characters. And as this goes on throughout the book, it sort of charts the course of Orpheus' life as well, wandering the stars, meeting people and immortalizing them. Although Cain hates the song, since it stuck him with the nickname Songbird.
The plot moves at a brisk pace, and it's an easy read. I got through 100 pages one night, and when I realized I didn't have anything else I particularly wanted to do, I went ahead and tore through another 100. It's always nice to read something like that.
'"You're forcing me to insult you. the food is barely worth eating, let alone describing," said the Swagman irritably. "You're ruining what was a totally unmemorable meal to begin with."
"You owe it to me!" demanded Schussler.
"Later," said the Swagman. "It's tasting worse by the minute, thanks to your nagging."
Cain sighed, reached over with his implement, and picked up a piece of the artificial shellfish, after first rubbing it thoroughly in the cream sauce. he chewed it thoughtfully, then began describing the nuances of flavor to Schussler while the Swagman picked up his plate and walked back into the command cabin to finish his meal in isolation.'
Monday, March 27, 2017
June May Not Be As Bad As I Feared
There's not much upheaval in the June solicitations for me. Nothing I was buying from Marvel is tying into Secret Empire yet, so hooray. Marvel is doing a lot of tie-ins in other books and ancillary mini-series, but not my circus, not my monkeys.
A three-stage reaction:
Calvin sees Marvel is soliciting a new Defenders series. Forgetting how disappointed he was in the last, Matt Fraction-written attempt, he gets excited. Then he sees it's written by Brian Michael Bendis, and experiences great disappointment. Finally, he notices it is about the TV series Defenders: Luke Cage, Jessica Jones, Daredevil, the white kung-fu guy everyone hates now, and all interest evaporates.
DC's going to kick off their own grim event thing, which may be about a future ruled by Batman, or maybe Owlman, I don't know. It's not my bag, but it seemed worth mentioning. DC's also releasing a bunch of one-shots with various DC characters encountering the Looney Toons. Lobo trying to bring down the Road Runner would seem promising, but Kelley Jones' art is not my favorite thing, either. Sits too firmly in the grotesque for my tastes. Elmer Fudd trying to hunt down Batman could be funny, though I pity Fudd if he points that gun at any innocent families walking down dark alleys. The individual issues are a little pricey for me, but maybe there'll be a nice collection later this year.
And I saw a solicit on Amazon for a volume 1 collection of Abnett and Lanning's Legion of Super-heroes for September, which I might be interested in. Although they misidentify the two as the creators of Annihilation. Keith Giffen wrote that one.
Outside those two publishers, Copperhead and Real Science Adventures roll, and I might still be buying Steven Universe. Undecided on that one. There's going to be another Wynonna Earp mini-series, a Season Zero. I'm not planning to buy this last thing, but there was a miniseries listed as Ash vs. AOD, which I initially read as "Ash vs. ADD". Which seemed fitting, Ash struggling with his greatest foe, his inability to concentrate.
A three-stage reaction:
Calvin sees Marvel is soliciting a new Defenders series. Forgetting how disappointed he was in the last, Matt Fraction-written attempt, he gets excited. Then he sees it's written by Brian Michael Bendis, and experiences great disappointment. Finally, he notices it is about the TV series Defenders: Luke Cage, Jessica Jones, Daredevil, the white kung-fu guy everyone hates now, and all interest evaporates.
DC's going to kick off their own grim event thing, which may be about a future ruled by Batman, or maybe Owlman, I don't know. It's not my bag, but it seemed worth mentioning. DC's also releasing a bunch of one-shots with various DC characters encountering the Looney Toons. Lobo trying to bring down the Road Runner would seem promising, but Kelley Jones' art is not my favorite thing, either. Sits too firmly in the grotesque for my tastes. Elmer Fudd trying to hunt down Batman could be funny, though I pity Fudd if he points that gun at any innocent families walking down dark alleys. The individual issues are a little pricey for me, but maybe there'll be a nice collection later this year.
And I saw a solicit on Amazon for a volume 1 collection of Abnett and Lanning's Legion of Super-heroes for September, which I might be interested in. Although they misidentify the two as the creators of Annihilation. Keith Giffen wrote that one.
Outside those two publishers, Copperhead and Real Science Adventures roll, and I might still be buying Steven Universe. Undecided on that one. There's going to be another Wynonna Earp mini-series, a Season Zero. I'm not planning to buy this last thing, but there was a miniseries listed as Ash vs. AOD, which I initially read as "Ash vs. ADD". Which seemed fitting, Ash struggling with his greatest foe, his inability to concentrate.
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