What I Bought 11/23/06

As is only appropriate, given that I'll be stuffing my gullet tomorrow, I get to stuff my eyes today, courtesy of six comics coming in for me. Hoo-rah. Would you like some spoilers with your reviews? No? Too bad.

Amazing Spider-Man #536 - Oddly, it doesn't feel like it's been two months since the last issue. Either my memory is going, or I just haven't bothered thinking about this book recently. I'm not sure whether the latter would be a good thing or not. Probably good for me, bad for Marvel.

So, yeah, you know my post yesterday, theorizing why Tony didn't put an off switch in the suit? Forget that. It just turns out Peter remembered he was smart, too. Still doesn't explain why the suit's tearing like it was made of cloth, rather than nanites, but it's at least some sign of cohesion and foresight by Marvel.

It's still Civil War Tony Stark, though, as he blames Peter for the destruction of their fight, even though I seem to recall Iron Man tackling Spidey first, and being the one who slammed Peter into a hot dog cart with civilians all around. Man, Tony's just completely a lost cause right now, isn't he? Next he'll blame the delicious brown liquor in the Jim Beam bottle for his being a stinking drunk. After a skip in the story (which is covered in Civil War 5 and 6, meaning I won't know what happened), Peter meets up with May and MJ, who somehow escaped SHIELD. I say "escaped" because I can't believe SHIELD wouldn't try to catch them to force Peter to come back. A heatfelt family talk leads the Parker clan to decide to stick together, which is stupid, but at least May admits it's her fault for convincing Peter to stay and unmask in the first place.

Peter has a conversation with his inner teenager that accomplished, uh... nothing? I don't know. it felt like filler to me. The story ends with Peter making a public announcement, letting everyone know he isn't on Stark's side anymore, and why. Did his heartfelt words stir Tony Stark, perhaps cause his heart to grow three sizes? Take a wild guess. 3.1 out of 5. Spidey punching Iron Man was fun, but on the whole, just blah.

Bloodrayne: Plague of Dreams #2 - I can't figure why her face is painted on the cover of the one I got, or why she seems to be floating, but oh well. This is mostly an exposition issue, as Rayne finds where her newly discovered telepath/telekinetic/fellow dhampir half-brother was raised. She knows about it because of the little trip they had inside each other's heads last issue. While she's there, she runs into an immortal caretaker of sorts, who let's her in on Garek's childhood, which was mostly his father trying to make a useful weapon out of him.

Meanwhile, we find out the Brimstone Society is keeping things from Rayne (no big surprise there), and that they've located Garek's stronghold. And Rayne's going to get some help from some fellows who bond with spirit entities to become superhuman. This is going to be their first field test. Yeah, good luck with that. So not a whole lot actually happens, but it seems things should be set up nicely for a nifty little donnybrook (am I trying too hard with the vocabulary here?), and it's tailing into things from both the Lycan Rex and Twin Blades one-shots, as well as addressing a concern I had about Rayne's reaction to her half-brother, compared to the way she'd always responded to family in earlier comics and the video games. Cohesiveness is fun! Still just a 3.4 out of 5.

Exiles #88 - The Exiles team up with Shi'ar, Skrulls, Kree, whoever, in an attempt to stall the Surfer (at one point shown plowing through a planet, rather than take the time to go around) until physicians can get Galactus up and running.

So while that goes on, Miguel is letting his inner scientist freak out over the flight ring, and Sabretooth says it's stupid to just sit in the open and wait for the Surfer to come to them. So he bails. And the Surfer arrives, and people start falling like dominoes. While everyone dogpiles on Shiny Boy, Spider-Man 2099 and Longshot hitch a ride on the Surfboard Express. Things go poorly, but the Exiles wind up with some cosmic-powered help of their own, and as they do, things tend to work out. Like the last story, this one seemed to end kind of fast, I'm not really sure why. it was a good ending, and I'm cool with it, but I'll have to stop it at a 3.9 out of 5.

New Excalibur #13 - So Calafiore is gonna take over for Ryan? That's cool; I liked Calafiore on Exiles fine. It's Excalibur versus the Wrecking Crew. Well, actually it's mostly the Wrecking Crew pummeling Cain, and feeling sorry for him because, as Wrecker points out 'They're the Wrecking Crew fer cryin' out loud!' I guess Wrecker saw Magnum Force too ('A man's got to know his limitations'). Finally, after considerable yakking and punching, the rest of Excalibur shows up. But Brian and Wisdom are actively squabbling, which is kind of moot when Sage can stop Piledriver with one kick to the crotch. Seriously? I thought he was like, invulnerable or something. Shouldn't she break her foot doing that? *shrugs*

The fight goes on, with Captain Britain and the Black Knight reminding me of Hawkeye and the Thing in the early issues of West Coast Avengers. It all ends OK, except for Cain hearing voices. And Black Tom not giving a ringing endorsement to the redemption path. And Cain's headed to Korea. For some reason, I always thought the temple of Cytorrak was in the Nepal/Tibet regions. I'm really curious to see where this goes. I remember all the villains of Spidey's that were reformed in the '90s (Puma, Prowler, Rocket Racer, Sandman, Will O' Wisp, sigh, Venom), only to ultimately sink back into criminal pasttimes, with Prowler being the lone exception. So we'll see how this goes. 4.4 out of 5.

Ultimate Spider-Man #102 - Man, this arc seems to be going really long, which is funny, considering this 7 issue arc will probably finish in half the time Civil War takes. Peter is saved from incarceration by the mysterious girl who shoots webbing from her fingers. Geez, Peter's having a lot of troubles with SHIELD lately. How long until they try to capture him in Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane? And this so-called Spider-Woman is... uh, yikes. That's pretty gross. Damn you, Ultimate Ben Reilly, you've besmirched the name "Ben Reilly"! Oh well, at least we figured out where all these damn clones are coming from. I wonder whether the Carnage project was separate from all the clones? Man, Ultimate Madame Web looks kinda like Sage. I thinks it's the red shades.

So yeah, lots of explaining going on, though there are some gaps, which I suppose is good, Bendis giving us a little at a time. Honestly, this "Spider-Woman" is about the closest to a non-emo Spider-Man Bendis has given us. Especially considering her circumstances, she's really concerned about others: Peter, MJ, the other clones. We find out what MJ was given that made her a large red beast... thingy, and where Bad Acne Peter got it from. To that revelation, and the final panel, I must say "Holy bejeezus, what the farking shazzbot is going on here?!" But I won't say I'm not hooked, though this is getting so convoluted and crossed over I'm not sure Bendis can write fast enough to make it make sense in two more issues. 3.9 out of 5.

X-Factor #13 - Hey, I got the variant cover, which I actually like better, seeing as it isn't the typical "characters all standing there, staring at you" cover. This is apparently a reprise of X-Factor #87, as each member of the team meets with Doc Samson and discusses inner turmoil. Guido made me wonder why his super-strength wouldn't alleviate the stress of carrying all that bulk. I suppose it's symbolic, and I'm an idiot. Layla plays her typical cryptic self, though she makes me wonder if this issue would mean more if I read it upside-down. Rictor plays the Angry Guy, possibly a nod to his days as part of the "super-kewl and extreme" X-Force? Siryn still remembers that X-Men never stay dead (except Thunderbird). I actually like Monet a little more now. Jamie's still running in place, though Samson did get him going in one diretion anyway. And then, there's Rahne.

Rahne made me sad, and her dream, or vision or whatever? Harsh. I like Rahne, I really, really hope that isn't something that would actually happen, and that she can find a balance. I'm not sure what else could be done about it. She could chose never to use her powers again, but she isn't the sort to sit by while people get hurt, so that's likely a no-go.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot Pietro. Hmm, about all I'll say is, that in the panel where he says he'd 'happily squash Layla Miller like an insect', his face reminds me of Sideshow Bob somehow. Actually, that's kind of true for all the panels featuring his face, but especially when he speaks of killing. This bears further investigation. Maybe I need an appointment with Samson, though I can't recall him helping the Hulk much. Ah well, 4.7 out of 5.

So, if I can get going early enough, there will be a Thanksgiving Adorable Baby Panda post. If I'm slow rising, and ABP is enjoying a Thursday repast, then it'll just have to wait until Friday.