And Here's To You, Baby Panda

{A toast, for the panda with the most!} Are you drinking? {It's just sparkling grape juice. I'm no bad influence!} Can I have some? {Did you bring your sippy cup?} I don't need a sippy cup! {Seeing as it's my carpet you'd be spilling on, I say you do.} . . . Fine. Here's the sippy cup. {And here's some juice. We good to go?} Just as soon as I do one thing. {Don't take the lid off the sippy cup! That defeats the whole purpose of the sippy cup!} Ha ha ha!

{Why must you torment me?} Because it secretly lightens up your life. {Lightens up your life, you mean.} That too. I think Chesbro needs a Hug. He looked so surprised someone wanted him dead, but he tried to warn Spider-Girl about the contract on her, so he also gets some Applause. And since she has a contract on her head, and she saved Chesbro's life, Applause and Hugs for Spider-Girl, too. {Not to doubt your judgment, but don't you think you're being a little loose with the hugs and applause?} No! I'm also going to Applaud Deadpool for showing Ka-Zar a good way to stop the bad guy from escaping on a pterodactyl. But he also has to get a Bonk for setting dinosaurs loose in New York City. [What? It was a mistake! And I'm going to clean it up next issue!] {Besides, after the damage Girltron wreaked on NYC in Mighty Avengers, not to mention the Hulk, is anyone going to notice some dinosaurs?} [That's right! Wait, Girltron?] {Ultron hacked Iron Man's brain, and made him into a new Ultron body, that looked like a naked Janet van Dyne.} [Why?! And is there evidence?] {Frank Cho, and I'm sure you can find pictures somewhere, Wade.} [Then I'm off!] What about the dinosaurs? [I'll take care of them next month!]

{Moving on?} Yeah, I think so. I think Davos needs at least a little Hug after the beating he took. And the Prince of Orphans needs some Applause for being awesome. {Do pandas know how to turn into green lightning?} I'm not sure. Maybe? I know there are some who can use lightning, but I don't know if they can be lightning. I'm going to Hug and Bonk Fat Cobra. He didn't get to fight, and he didn't do very well with Tiger's Beautiful Daughter. {Then what's the bonk for?} Because he should have been smarter about trying something with Tiger's Beautiful Daughter. {True. The arm stretching maneuver probably was not the best approach. Maybe poetry? I bet Fat Cobra can be quite poetic when he wants. Anyone else getting a mention.}
Hmm, I think Hobgoblin needs a Bonk for keeping his brother locked up in that underground bunker. People need sunlight. {Not vampires.} Vampires aren't people! {Great, now we're going to get sued by some Equal Rights for Vampires organization. I hope you've got deep pockets.} I don't have any pockets. {Thank you! We'll be here all week!} Not me, I'm going home now. {Fine. I'll be here all week!}