Partially Joyful Reunion

Hi Calvin! {Hello ABP. Find UnCalvin yet?} No. I was getting close, but I came back so I could read your comics. {Let the villain escape so you could read comics. Outstanding.} This won't take long, and how far can he get? He's in a balloon. {As far as you know. He could have landed at a private airstrip and absconded in his private jet by now.} He has a private jet? {He could have one. He's pretty loaded.} Well it doesn't matter. I'll track him down no matter what! {Good for you.}

So are you going to get off the couch and help? {Nah.} I thought we were a team. {You talk as you type, and I'll make sarcastic remarks that belittle your decision making abilities. That's a team.} Hmph. Well Quasar didn't get her girlfriend back, so I think she could use a Hug. The same for Starlord's entire team, since they're either brain dead or sad about someone being brain dead. {And they've been mostly shuffled off deck for the Guardians of the Galaxy. Except for Rocket, of course, as raccoons are very useful.} I think Monet needs a Hug for her hair. {I like her new hair. Very DragonBall Z.} But it would take too much work to keep it that way. {No it wouldn't. All she needs is a good electric shock every morning.}

Fine, it would be easy, and she should keep it. Happy? {Eh, not particularly.} Grr. High Evolutionary gets a Bonk for running away. I want to give Eiling a Bonk too, for thinking he's so clever. {I'm sure he doesn't think that anymore. Not sure there's enough left of his head to bonk.} They said it was growing back, so I just have to be patient. {Sure you wouldn't rather hit him right on his brain? Might be more effective.} Ew. {Wuss.}

Why can't you be helpful? {Fine. I think you should, Applaud Warlock and Tyro for showing up to reverse the Phalanxization of the Kree.} See, that's a good idea, and I will do that. {Maybe you should bonk Ronan for being ready to kill his people.} Well, it's a little extreme, but he meant well. {Molly-coddler.} Name calling won't change my mind. {It's still a fun way to pass the time.} I think Captain Boomerang Junior deserves Applause for helping Deadshot, and Rick Flag was clever, so Applause for him too. {Ah, Rick Flag. Captain Cardboard.} Stop being mean! {Fine, I'll be asleep instead.} Good! Go to sleep then! You're just dragging things down! Maybe I should go hang out with UnCalvin! {Whatever you do, do it quietly. I need to get some sleep before I leave town tomorrow.} Oh boo hoo! You have to leave town for a day! How awful! {See, now you're being hurtful.} Well, I'm just under pressure, and you aren't helping. {Sorry. How about some Applause for Guido? That was pretty cool when he made the giant boulder fly over the innocent bystander.} You're right! That was awesome! I'm off to find UnCalvin! See you next week! {Alright then. Be careful.} Pssh, no problem!