So, um, it's raining outside. {Sure is.} Still hot, though. {Welcome to another summer in Missouri. Could be worse. I've heard Houston is miserable this time of year, if ya hate high humidity with your really high temps.} I do hate those. It makes you all sweaty and smelly. {Oh well pardon me. Nobody was willing to teach me the ancient art of chi manipulation which creates a bubble of cool air around me at all times.} I bet Iron Fist knows how to do that. {Bei Bang-Wen, maybe. I don't think Danny's smart enough to even conceive of such a use.} Danny's smart! {If you say so.} I do!
{Think we successfully stalled our way through another opening paragraph?} Sure. {Then the floor is yours.} What am I going to do with a floor? {*rimshot* I thought we were ready to get started.} I was just having fun. Mr. Mind is too small to bonk, so I'll just Squish him. {I think Blue Beetle beat you to that. He had 1000 babies you could pass that on to.} I'll do that then. The Black Beetle gets a Bonk for killing Fire and for being a whiner. Boo hoo, Jaime Reyes took someone from me, so I'll screw everything else up! Whoever she is, she would have left him anyway, because he's a big baby! {Ouch, ABP comes out swinging!} I'm giving Moose and Sara Bonks, and some Bonks for those Humanity First people. And since Norman Osborn might have clones Spider-Girl, I want to give him a Bonk too. {Um, he's sort of dead already. Has been for over a decade.} Not in the Marvel Universe! {I told you, we call that the 616 universe here, because every time someone calls it that, Tom Brevoort's souffle falls as he pulls it from the oven.} That sounds evil. {Only a little bit. It's Flash Thompson level evil, not Norman Osborn EVIL. Like a prank almost.} Oh. That sounds OK.
Wait, can Tom Brevoort even cook? {I don't know, maybe. It just seemed like a fairly unobjectionable thing to do to torment him.} Torment? {I mean, prank. How about some hugs?} I guess Spider-Girl could use a Hug. {I think she needs a bonk, might get her head straightened out.} NO. She's feels bad right now, she needs to feel better. {Fine, it's your show, just stop giving me the death glare. Sheez.} Booster gets a Hug, he was so sad before everything went white at the end of the issue. Skeets gets some Applause for beating that evil robot, and Batman gets Applause for punching Degaton a lot. {You know, I think that we should demean Degaton, what with him being a time-traveling Nazi and all. He has a D on his chest like a giant moron, so let's call him D-Man.} I thought Marvel had one of those? {Yeah, and he doesn't get a whole lot of respect. That's supposed to be the joke, see? We'll be using the name to sort of link the two, as an insult.} Seems kind of mean to Marvel's D-Man. {Yeah, I guess so. Degaton really needs to get rid of that stupid D on his chest, though. Looks like a twit.}
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6 comments:
I can't quite give applause to Skeets, since he won by essentially crapping on his opponent. I just don't want to see that type of thing catch on.
Applause to Batgirl (Babs version) for stripping down to the buff to chase down Catwoman and her Dad's notebook. I'd give her a hug, but it could be construed as inappropriate, her being naked and all.
Applause to Wonder Woman for wanting to attain a "personal best in robot smashing" (in Trinity #2). It's good to have goals.
Oh a definite hug for Booster. He's lost Ted AGAIN! *sob*
A hug for Fire. I don't actually understand how she could get fried, since it was CLEARLY pointed out, way back in JLI when she fought Despero the FIRST time, that she isn't On fire, she IS fire! But perhaps I'm being pedantic.
Hugs to all the Green Lanterns. They just had a dead whale fall on top of them.
A hug for Catwoman. She had to deal with that cute puppy, and you could tell, that it was driving her NUTS!
A hug for Kevin Maguire for having the nerve to draw ugly fat naked people.
A bonk to Tony Stark. I don't quite know what he's done lately to deserve it, but it has become a tradition by now.
jason: I guess I see your point about Skeets. I believe the answer is to weld some of Cable's 90s-era firearms on top of Skeets. Assuming he can still fly, he'll never have to resort to releasing corrosives on his enemy again.
sallyp: Well, Fire got blasted by Evil Beetle, so it's magic! We don't have to explain it. Oh wait, the scarab's not magic. Um, it's semi-sentient alien tech, we don't have to explain it!
I don't know, I'm sure there's some way to configure a blast to harm someone made entirely of fire, unfortunately for Bea.
I approve of Calvin's motion to bonk Spider-Girl. She really needs to ditch that good-for-nothing boyfriend of hers. His idea of a relationship is her spending all her time (literally hours every weekday) chasing a ball while he whines about her not being committed and forces her to put him over her friends and family. DUMP THAT LOSER.
I feel the same way about Spider-Girl-verse Peter Parker right now. Secrets and lies are what made the original Clone Saga such a mess last time. Keeping all this from May is just begging for some villain to show up and mind-fu... um, mess with her head. What's she going to think if she finds out that she's a clone, Peter knows and he's been avoiding her since he found out? Yeah, it's really traumatizing for him too, but he needs a slap upside the head. If he wants to keep this from spiraling even more out of control, he needs to share everything with MJ and May so they can stand together as a family and compare notes.
Um, make that "spending all her time watching him chase a ball". Wow, that's an embarrassing typo. I wish you could edit comments on Blogger.
To provide some actual content to this comment... I wasn't just being flip with the remark about a villain taunting May with the clone thing. Well, them taunting her is guaranteed, but I specifically think they'll hold the "Daddy knew and he didn't tell you because he doesn't love you" thing over her head.
I think Peter knows on some level that she's raised her since infancy, she's his daughter even if she's not the original, and it's not her fault if she's a clone cuckoo. He's just so blindsided by this revelation that he hasn't consciously realized that yet. But the clock's ticking on when May finds out and he needs to get his head on straight so that she and MJ can find out from him, not a ranting villain.
bradbury: I agree, Peter really needs to get May in the loop, and MJ for that matter. Might be best to tell her first, let her absorb it, then they can both talk to May, present a strong "We love you" front.
I wonder though, if there aren't going to be other issues related to pete popping up now. The way whatever that liquid the May-In-A-Tube was floating in reacted when exposed to air made me think of Norman Osborn's original Goblin serum. And if that's what exploded in Pete's face (and what the "new" May's been soaking for 15+ years), that's a bad thing.
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