I Need To Turn My Brain Off

So I was thinking a bit about Old Lady Squirrel Girl and her timeline. Doreen loses her original attempt to stop Doom in the '60s, because she's on her own. She avoids capture or death, and learns of Cody's attempt to go back alone and fix the problem he's created, and tracks him down in 2016, so she can, as an old lady in a Doombot outfit, go back and help her younger self. She does, Doom is defeated, Young Doreen and the CS Kids go back to their time. Old Doreen stays in the '60s with the time gun and continues living. She visits Doom's castle shortly after he returns to his time (some time shortly after his defeat in Squirrel Girl's original, Steve Ditko-created appearance), and wrecks his time platform so he can't send any Doombots back to help him win that battle in the '60s.

How the hell did she live that long? Young Doreen's still a freshman in college in the book, so 18, 19. If she lived straight on through from wherever she was in the '60s up to finding Cody in 2016, that's a minimum of 45 years, if they were in 1969. Old Lady Squirrel Girl then lives on from then until whenever that Dr. Doom was from, which, with the sliding time scale has to be within the last five years right? Like, Doreen couldn't have been younger than 14 when she beat Doom to save Iron Man's bacon, correct? So that's another 40 years. She's like 110! Even with Doombot armor, she's breaking into Doom's castle and wrecking his shit, then leaping out windows with a twinkle in her eye?

"Long life spans" are not a squirrel trait. If she was Old Lady Elephant Girl, sure. Unless, this is that thing Byrne came up with in Sensational She-Hulk, where popular characters don't age, and so the original fight with Dr. Doom still happened in the '90s, and Doreen simply hasn't aged much because she's been getting fairly regular use over at least the last 10 years, if not the ones immediately after her first appearance. At which point, Old Lady Squirrel Girl only had to stay alive another 20 or so years to wreck Doom's time platform. So she's only in her 80s. Which is perfectly reasonable.

Glad we sorted this out.