Puff The Magic Panda, Down By The Sea

That title is really weak. {Don't be knocking the classics, kiddo.} But it's so babyish. {And I suppose you've forgotten what the "B" in ABP stands for?} And that's another thing! I want to be called a teenager, or at least a child panda. I'm not a baby! {Fine, then you're not adorable either. Only babies can be adorable, it's a rule.} What?! That's not fair! {Welcome to the world, Soon-To-Be-Acne-Riddled Child Panda.} Let's stick with Adorable Baby Panda. {Okey-doke.} Now why did you only buy one comic? {Oh relax. Next week will be better.} Will it? Will it?

Seriously, will it? {Yes! Get on with it!}

No need to be rude! I wanted to Applaud all the people of that village on Morag IV for standing up to the Phalanx. They did so well. {What I can't figure out is why the Phalanx were only using blades and such. If they had used some sort of long-range weapons they could have done a lot better.} Maybe they figured they could use the blades to protect themselves while they brought the villagers into the Phalanx. No wait, Super-Adaptoid told the Phalanx to kill the villagers, didn't he? {Yup.} Then I don't know, but it doesn't matter because the villagers had a dragon on their side, and that's all that matters! Also, Applause for Quasar, both Phyla and Wendell. She made the big save, but things wouldn't have worked out all right without help from Mr. Vaughn. {It's great to see generations of heroes working together. Warms the cockles of my heart.} Cockles? {Yeah, somehow a description of a specific type of mollusk shell came to also mean the core of your being. Language is weird that way.} Cockles. . . {Focus.}

Right. You don't want to spoil who the Savior is, right? {Check.} Then I'll just call them the Savior, when I give them a Hug. I hope they aren't still covered in green ooze. That looked sticky and disgusting. {I'm sure Phyla and Moondragon will get the Savior cleaned up before they leave Morag IV. Probably be a unpleasant trip otherwise.}

I'm giving a Bonk to the Supreme Intelligence. He was the one telling Phyla she had to find the Savior, but he couldn't bother to tell her who he was. She just keeps hearing a disembodied voice telling her to keep going, and that can mess with a person. Bad giant green, medusa-looking head! Are you paying attention? {Not really. TNT started showing Sahara and I can already sense just how horrible this could be. And I liked this book too.} The movie just started, how can you be so sure. {It's my gift. I was bitten by Roger Ebert at a time when he had been hit with a huge dose of radiation. He apologized later, but ever since I've had a sixth sense about these things.} You are such a liar.