In Twenty Years He'll Be Running Liberty City

Given that the scholarship edition of Bully is due to be released this week, it seems like a good time to discuss the original version, on the off chance you were unsure whether to purchase it for your current gen console, and said to yourself, "Hey, I wonder what Calvin thinks about the game? I need him to tell me whether to buy it or not." As I'd hate to disappoint you, I had better get to it.

You're the new kid at school, and you've got the misfortune to be befriended by the resident Lex Luthor, Gary. Most of the story-related missions revolve around currying favor with one of the cliques (Preps, Greasers, Townies, Jocks, Bullies, or Nerds), or getting revenge on one of said cliques, all as part of a scheme to become ruler of the school. In your free time, attend classes to make your life easier, buy clothes, woo the ladies (or the guys), race bikes, go to the carnival, or just cause random mischief. There is a curfew, and even if you don't care about that, it's best to be in bed before 2 a.m., lest you pass out in the street.

Keep in mind that the people in this world exhibit age and gender bias, so you'll get in more trouble if you attack little kids or girls, than you will for fighting guys your age. And authority figures like it even less when you shoot them or other adults with potatoes. But you can always try escaping, just be aware that authority figures have a tendency to appear out of thin air to catch you. If all else fails, head for the water. You can swim quite easily, and they won't follow you into the water, so you can just wait there until things calm down.

The story is a bit weak, in the sense that you keep hearing that Gary is causing trouble, but until things actually go to hell, you only see him one time after he dissolves your partnership. Of course, that one time was enough to leave me with a jonesing for beating his face in, so it probably would have annoyed me if we'd kept crossing paths, only for me to not get a chance to mop the floor with him. I would have liked to at least seen some more evidence of his schemes Also, if you're hoping to gain allies through reasoned negotiation, forget about it. Jimmy Hopkins negotiates by pummeling all those who oppose him. But come on, this is from the GTA people, you couldn't possibly be expecting discourse to solve your problems (although you can talk your way out of little infractions, if you've gotten far enough in English. So get your butts to class!)

As for me, I enjoy just riding my bike all over town, jumping cars, and punching random adults. What? I think it's fun to have a bunch of cops chasing after some kid on a bicycle. So yeah, if causing mayhem is up your alley, go for it. Buy the game. C'mon, you get a bottle rocket launcher as a weapon, and you get to smash tombstones! Just think of it, you can ensure that some poor ghost never rests peacefully, how can you refuse?