It's The "I Am Not A Turkey" Song!

Sung now as a celebration of the end of turkey season, rather than the survival technique it is during the season. Here we go!

I am not a turkey,
I am not a turkey,
Please don't shoot me,
Mr. Hunter-Man,

I don't gobble,
And I don't wobble,
As I try to run and,
flap away,

Which I don't do,
The flapping I mean,
Because I am not a turkey,
Nope I am not a turkey,

Can't you tell,
By how I stumble?
Can't you tell,
By the profanities I grumble?

That's right grumble,
I don't gobble,
I am not a turkey,
I am not a turkey,

I don't have a beak,
I don't swallow rocks,
'Cause I don't have a crop,
Or a gizzard,

To use the rocks,
To grind my food,
I have teeth,
To do that with,

Because I am not a turkey,
I am not a turkey,
Please don't let arrows,
Fly at my head,

When I scratch the ground,
I use a rake,
not claws,
Because I don't have claws to scrape with,

When I use my arms,
It's to grab,
Not flap,
Because flapping don't do a thing for me*,

I don't know,
How many ways I can say it,
Won't you please listen,
When I tell you again,

I am not a turkey,
I am not a turkey,
Please don't shoot me,
Mr. Hunter-Man.

- A song created by people who work in the woods while turkey hunters are around, to avoid mishaps.

- Or it's a song created by turkeys to trick hunters into not shooting them.

- Or created by a nutty blogger with limited lyrical capability.

* Normally, you sing fast, but you have to drag the "me" out. Like "meeeeeeeeee".