Scams for Everyone!

I meant to post this last Wednesday, but things came up. Anyway, I haven't done one of these hypothetical teams in over a year, so what the hell. Got to post something. This go-round is focus on sneaky characters that like to pull cons. So figure they're going to pull some sort of heist or scheme to bamboozle and rip-off some rich scumbag.

The Leader: Stan Pines, aka Mr. Mystery (Gravity Falls) - Stan spent years traveling from state-to-state, selling cheap, fraudulent products to gullible saps, who then ran him out of town once they realized the products were garbage. He eventually wound up running a "Mystery Shack", house of oddities and cheap junk in a weird town to pay the bills while he spent 30 years figuring out how fix a busted transdimensional portal his twin brother created, then subsequently fell through. Which means he taught himself whatever science, math, and engineering skills you'd need to accomplish something like that.

Stan is your typical guy who hides his softer feelings under the gruff asshole veneer. The guy who may do something nice for another person, but acts as though he's doing it just to shut them up. He's pretty good at improvising on the fly, and he understands people well enough to get them to shell out money to look at a trout he superglued to a rabbit.  He will encourage the youngest member of the team's interest in scamming people, while also trying to protect them if things go wrong. Probably won't be necessary, but he'll do it.

He knows about the supernatural and the weird, even if he pretends not to, so the odder members of this group won't phase him too much. He's also committed a wide array of actual crimes, from stealing nuclear waste, to smuggling pugs across national borders, to tax fraud. Lots of tax fraud.

The Rogue: Darien Fawkes, aka the Invisible Man (The Invisible Man) - Darien was a cat burglar even before he got a biosynthetic gland in his brain that lets him turn invisible. Even once he had the gland, he didn't stop criminal activities entirely. Gotta scratch that itch, even if there's not much challenge to it. And he was totally on board with the Official's plan to rob Arnaud's casino by having Darien invisibly rig the games for the rest of the Agency.

Of course, Darien then proceeded to go and straight up rob the vault to scratch that itch - and flip Arnaud the bird - then wouldn't give the money to the Official when he demanded it, even if it meant Darien went into Quicksilver Madness. Which happened, because Darien wouldn't back down, either. So Darien is: sneaky, willful, stubborn, and doesn't always think things through.

Fortunately, I don't think Stan is going to dissuade Darien from stealing to his heart's content, as long as it isn't from Stan. Actually, Stan's biggest objection might be if Darien tries to help him win at a casino. Stan might take that as slander against his skills. This would probably have to take place after the end of the series, when Darien doesn't have to worry about Quicksilver Madness, since there's no one on this group that's going to be able to fix that for him. Unless he's moonlighting with this bunch while still working for the Agency, but he's not careful enough to pull that off without Hobbes or the Official figuring it out.

The Muscle: Toph Beifong, aka the Blind Bandit, aka the Runaway (Avatar: The Last Airbender) - The greatest earthbender in the entire world. Can bend metal with a little more effort. Blind since birth, mostly doesn't let it bother her, will make jokes about it when the opportunity presents itself. Ran a series of scams taking advantage of people pitying or underestimating her because she's blind. Sees by sensing vibrations through the ground. Which does leave her a little vulnerable if she's not on solid ground. Extremely stubborn and headstrong. On the other hand, her ability means Darien is never going to be invisible to her, which will be a lot of fun for her, and extremely humiliating for him. She can also use the ability like a lie detector, which ought to be fun for annoying at least a couple of the other people on the team.

When Toph gets it in her head to do something, or not do something, almost no one has any chance of changing her mind. Like Stan, kind of a gruff asshole. The kind of person who shows affection by punching you in the shoulder. it took her a while to get the hang of being a team player with Team Avatar. Which means it's either going to be a struggle in the early stages with this group as well, or she's learned from her experiences and will embrace teamwork more readily. The rest of the team is adults (more or less), and she hasn't always had the best of luck with adults. Once she demonstrates she can take care of herself, it should be fine. At some point, Stan will ask her to create and animate some stone statues he can market as "terrible rock people" for another attraction. It'll work great until Toph makes them start attacking and fake eating people.

For all that she can be sneaky when she feels like it, Toph usually likes to settle things more directly and loudly. Pick a fight, hit people with rocks, that kind of thing. She and the next member of the team ought to get along like a house on fire.

The Lady of Mystery: Fiona Glenanne, aka More Aliases Than I Care to List (Burn Notice) - Granted, Fi frequently didn't have patience for Michael's elaborate schemes to hoodwink people, preferring the direct approach of just shooting or blowing them up. That doesn't mean she wasn't any good at playing a role to get something from them. Play on their libido, play on their stupidity, their sympathy. Get them to underestimate her, or just scare the crap out of them.

But, if you can frame it as making bad people miserable by taking the things they cherish most - money - she can probably get into the spirit of it. Especially if she's allowed to incorporate explosions. Between Darien and Stan, I'm not sure which of the two is going to be better able to recognize how dangerous she is. Stan fancies himself a bit of a ladykiller, and while Darien definitely thinks he's charming, I think he's worked with enough dangerous ladies he's not going to make the mistake of underestimating her.

Like I said, though, she and Toph should get along great. Probably hit the limits of their patience for the sneaky stuff or playing nice about the same time. Then it'll be time to break stuff, since no one is going to be able to rein in the two of them at once. Although Fiona might try to rein herself in a little bit with a pre-teen involved. Maybe.

The Guy with a Boat: Jimmy James, aka Macho Business Donkey Wrestler (Newsradio) - Technically, I only know the Mr. James has a news helicopter that he uses to fly back to his mansion for lunch, but he's loaded, I'm sure he has a yacht somewhere.

He's a successful businessman, so probably not unaccustomed to questionable practices. He also kept D.B. Cooper's duffel bag full of money after the guy parachuted into his camp, and kept that secret, plus the secret of who Cooper actually was, for decades until he was hauled into court. There's also the fact that he was apparently unfazed by a guy parachuting into his camp and asking to borrow his truck in exchange for a duffel bag full of money.

Totally willing to make wagers with other wealthy men, which is the sort of thing that encourages underhanded tactics. And he's not above being sneaky himself, like when he got his radio station back from Johnny by picking Johnny as the one employee he got to take with him. Anytime you can get your opponent to say, "Well played," you know you made a slick move. Or so I've been taught by popular culture. I'm not sure I've ever gotten someone to tell me that. Perhaps one day.

I'd expect he might want to take the reins, since he might be the richest person on the team - depending on whether Toph has access to her family's fortune. And Jimmy can be intimidating at times, but he's also savvy enough to know when that's a lost cause. So he might be smart enough to realize trying to order around this bunch is a terrible idea. That lets him stay in the background, make his own plans, and he can offer some insights when he thinks it would be helpful. That can be a fun job, to be the one who helps finalize plans, rather than having to come up with them from scratch or make decisions. So much less stressful.

Burn Notice 7.13 - Reckoning

Plot: We pick up where we left off, Sonya and Fi playing Devil and Angel on Michael's shoulders. Sonya gets ready to shoot Fi, so Michael finally snaps out of it and shoots Sonya. James, in the helicopter above observes this, and furiously orders his men to kill them. His men fail, Mike, Fi, Sam, and Jesse escape. But so does James, which means Strong got nothing, and now he's put a 50 grand reward out on them. Which is how Sam and Jesse wind up prisoners of a shotgun-toting convenience store clerk. Michael demonstrates a continuing disregard for his life by driving a car into the store and hopping out to attack the clerk, getting shot in the arm in the process. But they all escape.

Mike concludes their only chance is to catch James, which he wants to do alone, but no dice. He does, however, convince Jesse to look after Maddy and Charlie, so it'll be the original three going after James. Or rather, all of his records. Jesse uses a friend to find the guy who set up James' communication relay. Which turns out to be in the abandoned remains of an old newspaper. Things are looking up, until James arrives. He recognized that they took some phones from that convenience store, and he tracked the numbers. Three of them are inside his communications relay, and two of them (Jesse and Maddy's) are in a house his guys are surrounding. Madeline makes a gutsy call, asking Jesse to protect Charlie, while she takes out as many of James' guys as she can with an explosive they had. Was not expecting a kamikaze play from Madeline, but there you go. At this point, Fi and Mike are in a shootout with James and his guys, while Sam flees with all those records they swiped. He escapes his pursuer, Fi caps everyone while they're busy shooting at Mike, but James reveals the explosives the building is wired with are not just to stop people from breaking in, and so it appears our heroes are dead.

In the aftermath, we learn Jesse and Sam spent some time in custody, but were eventually released. Mike and Fi are presumed dead, and there's a funeral, but we see they outran the explosion and jumped into the bay/river/ocean/large body of water the newspaper sat at the edge of. They're living in a nice looking home, someplace with snow, taking care of Charlie. As for Jesse and Sam, it appears they'll continue the work of helping people in need.

The Players: Look, nobody new shows up, and I don't feel like making up titles.

Quote of the Episode: Fiona - 'Michael, we don't have much time. What do you want to do?' Michael - 'I want to fight.'

Does Fiona blow anything up? A wall.

Sam Axe Drink Count: 0 (6 overall).

Sam Getting Hit Count: 0 (5 overall).

Michael's Fake Laugh Count: 0 (3 overall).

Other: I'm curious how Michael and Fi got Charlie from Jesse before Jesse got arrested. I'd assume the explosion of Maddy's sacrifice would have attracted law enforcement attention, but maybe Jesse was able to elude them until Mike and Fi could find him. Otherwise, I feel like Charlie's absence would raise questions about Mike and Fi actually being dead. Unless Jesse told Strong Charlie got blown up along with Madeline, which I feel should raise some eyebrows.

That whole scene with Maddy as she talks to Michael, and as she asks Jesse to watch over Charlie, that was heartbreaking. I was choked up a little. The thing I thought of was the end of Season 3, when the feds were leaning on her to help them catch Mike (this was while he was running around Miami with Simon), and she refused, even under threat of arrest. The fed told her not to pay for Michael's mistakes, and she replied, 'He paid for mine.' 

I think this was that, on a grander scale. A lot of this has been people paying for Michael's mistakes. His impetuous decision to kill Tom Card, or maybe his decision not to kill Anson from the start, or arrest him him and turn him over to Pearce as soon as he showed his true colors. But I guess the biggest mistake was not accepting the truth of what he opens every episode with: that he used to be a spy. He kept trying to get back in, and that drove him to do questionable things, as well as giving people a lever to use against him. Dangle that carrot, and watch the incredible things Michael will do to get it. I'm not sure I buy how completely he seems to have given it up now, though. Even when the fact the CIA was willing to use Simon disillusioned him, he seemed willing to latch onto James' cause. He was still set on doing the work, simply without the bureaucratic oversight. But now he's done with it?

Maybe he realized that the closest he'd ever get to doing important work how he wanted, without having to leave certain people alone because of their connections was when he was helping those folks Carla derisively referred to as 'the little people'. The ones Sam and Jesse will apparently continue to help. Maybe Mike and Fi will do that stuff sometimes where they are. It's kind of like the send-off Peter Parker and Mary Jane got in the Clone Saga, where they went to the Pacific Northwest. You knew Peter was going to focus on being a husband and father, but every once in awhile, there'd be a mysterious masked guy who might save a life.

There were a lot of callbacks to the Pilot. Fi's 'shall we shoot them', Sam's 'you know spies, bunch of bitchy little girls'. Also, I think the fact that Maddy uses Charlie as a bit of a lever on Mike. Obviously Charlie didn't exist in the first episode, but Mike's client did have a young son he was trying to provide for, and the boy did look up to Mike. Which made Michael go further in helping than he otherwise might have. Which kind of set the tone for Mike being drawn into helping everyday people, when all he claimed to want to do was get back into the government spy business. This time around, it was the presence of his nephew that sort of helps pull Mike out of this grim death wish mode he was in. He was determined to fix things, and die trying, but once Madeline sacrificed herself, that wasn't an option. He had to survive, for Charlie's sake. And he had to trust Fiona to do it. Even though he does trust Fi, Mike usually likes to do things by himself, so it was nice to see him tell her outright that he wasn't planning to die because he knew she had him covered.

As far as an ending to the series, it's pretty good. Maybe a little too neat and happy for some, but I like happy endings when I can get them. I still think Season 3 is probably my favorite overall - the Gilroy subplot being a major part of that - and that 2-4 was the strongest stretch. I missed Brennan, and especially Dead Larry in later seasons. Anson was easily my least favorite villain, but I thought Vaughn got the worst deal, as he was portrayed as sort of incompetent, right up to the moment he was out to kill Michael.

Season 7 was a mixed bag. I didn't entirely understand the almost religious fervor James inspired in Burke, Sonya, and even Michael. I understood why his plan would appeal to them, it just seemed a little much. Carlos never felt well integrated into the story, but I thought the strain on Michael was laid out pretty well. I could understand why he might actually decide to hell with the Agency, and side with James. And I liked how all his friends stuck with him, even if they didn't want to at first. I'm a sucker for "power of friendship" narratives sometimes.

Burn Notice 7.12 - Sea Change

Plot: We open on Michael in a cage, that knife wound Simon gave him still untreated. Sonya comes down the stairs, to bring Michael to James. She wants to know if his seduction of her was all a work. Mike explains that the part of him that agrees with what she and James do did care for her. When Mike turns the question back on her, Sonya says the work always comes first.

James is fairly sanguine about all the betrayal. Instead, he asks Michael to continue working with him. Go back to the CIA, tell them he failed to capture James, but that James still does not suspect. And Michael agrees. Strong gets a bit of static from the head of the CIA, but Mike earns them another 48 hours by pointing out he's the only one they have who can get close to James. In the meantime, Michael is freezing everyone else out, and Fi is growing worried. Worried enough to slip a tracer in his gun. She gets Jesse on her side, but Sam is unsure until he and Jesse trail Mike to Fort Lauderdale. Sam gives him a call, Mike claims he's chasing a few leads, won't be seeing James again for a few days. Less than a minute later, here comes James. Now Sam's worried.

Convinced that Mike's in too deep with these folks, their plan is to lure him to a lonely boathouse, where Sam has a seaplane (courtesy of his buddies). They'll drag Mike off and snap him out of it. But that's going to require a lure, and for that, Fiona convinces Maddy to bring Charlie, as they burn down Madeline's home, and blow up the car of James' guys while they were trying to get in through the front door.

This is kind of a critical time for Mike. At his meeting with James, he told hm the CIA won't rest until James is captured. So James consents to be captured. He'll go to jail, the Agency will consider the network wrecked, and Sonya will take over. . . along with Michael. While I'm impressed that James is so devoted to this cause he's willing to be thrown in some secret prison, he comes off as sort of a creepy father type, so happy to put these two crazy lovebirds together. Anyway, Michael is supposed to alert Strong that James is coming in on a helicopter for a meeting, Strong arrives, Mike captures James, he's a big hero, Sonya narrowly escapes, and the work continues, with the Agency's once-again golden boy as one of the leader's. So Mike's just about to make the call when Sonya gets word of what Fi did, and Sam calls Mike to let him know. Sonya advises Mike that Fi is an obstacle, and may need to be removed. Skating on thin ice there, Sonya. Mike roars off in the Charger.

Sam convinces Mike to ride out to the boathouse in Sam's car, but Mike grows suspicious, nearly wrecks the car on the bridge, and gets out. He and Sam start yelling as all cards are laid on the table, and Mike appears to being growing fond of the idea of being in charge of his own network, doing the work that needs to be done. Then Sam compares this group to the people who killed Nate, and it's fight time. Sam actually has the edge, once he topples Mike over the bridge, but Mike feigns unconsciousness and when Sam relaxes the hold, punches Sam in the face and escapes. He even tells Sam he'll let this slide because they're friends - this time.

This is concerning, but Fi insists they follow the tracer and try again. Which brings them to the meeting place, after Mike called Strong, but before the CIA or James have shown up. Sam and Jesse are somewhere downstairs, Sonya's goons all over the place, James in inbound, Strong is inbound. Michael is on the roof, with Fi on one side, and Sonya on the other, with a gun pointed at Fiona.

The Players: Sonya (Not Happy with Michael), James (The Guy Mike Betrayed)

Quote of the Episode: Fiona - 'Sam told you that some day someone would threaten this organization, and you would have to make a choice. Well that day has come, and that someone. . . is me.'





Does Fiona blow anything up? Those dudes' car.

Sam Axe Drink Count: 0 (6 overall).

Sam Getting Hit Count: 4 (6 overall).

Michael's Fake Laugh Count: 0 (3 overall).

Other: I'm surprised Peter hasn't reappeared. I figured the guy James shoved into a mental hospital for 15 years would get more than 10 minutes in one episode. I guess if he was around, it might serve as a reminder that James isn't a good guy, that as Sam said, these guys are no different than the people who burned Mike. They do awful things to people who don't deserve it, and justify on the grounds that they're doing important work. It's that German idea of "military necessity", where all other considerations (such a diplomatic or economic, moral) are irrelevant. If Michael had a reminder of that in front of him all the time, maybe he wouldn't be acting this way.

Though I'm still not sure this isn't a work. That Michael hasn't been lying to James, playing the man who is so fed up with the Agency (which has demonstrated it isn't any different from James or Management/Vaughn/Anson in its willingness to justify doing awful things) he'll instead help the man he's supposed to capture. Maybe this is all a way to make it really easy. James walks right into Michael's hands, because he believes it's part of his plan, but it's really part of Michael's. I mostly think Mike really has bought in, that he's just that fed up with the Agency's bullcrap, but I can't dismiss the idea he's just really selling this.

The scene after Mike got away from him, where Sam started choking up as he admitted he thought they'd lost Mike, that was a bit much. I enjoyed the fight scene, though. Sam did better than that time in Season 2 he had to stop Mike from going to Carla for money.

I thought it was funny James told Sonya he had always admired her loyalty, when he was a second away from shooting her in the leg as a traitor last week. So he admires her loyalty, when he thinks she's loyal. Which suggests it's a load of crap.

I was still expecting (hoping?) for Management to make an appearance. The way Michael told James his job was to bring in the leader of the network, to bring in James, made me all the more certain that James isn't the leader. He's a cardboard cutout, like what they did with the Mandarin in Iron Man 3. But, I guess not.

Burn Notice 7.11 - Tipping Point

Plot: Michael and Sonya while away an afternoon making fake passports in preparation for another mission for James. All Michael can pry from Sonya is the job is in Latin America, but this does make her wistful for the things she's missed out on from being a spy. Which leads to her and Michael being frisky, which is an excuse to get her to sleep at Michael's so he can steal information off her phone and send it to Strong. Now they know the exact route and time James will be moving through Veracruz, and Strong has assembled a mercenary team with no ties to the CIA to capture James.

They completely blow it. Michael tries to salvage things by stealing a lady's cell phone when he steals her car, so Strong can track it, but a helicopter is a rather obvious vehicle to be tracking people with, and James makes them split up. When Michael and random goons are attacked in the marina by another strike team, Mike helps them win, only to learn they're being led by Simon. You remember Simon from Seasons 3 and 4? The guy who did most of the stuff Michael was blamed for in his burn notice? Turns out Strong's been using him for missions for 2 years. This is too much for Michael, especially after Simon executes the rest of James' guys, and he kills Simon. About 4 seasons too late Mike, but oh well.

Sonya and James have meanwhile managed to fend off Strong, Jesse, and Sam - in a helicopter - with 2 handguns. Which smells like bullshit to me, but there it is. Michael had already called them and said he was under attack before deciding to kill Simon, so they rush back to save him, with Strong, Jesse, and Sam on their heels. Except Mike warns James that Simon called in another team, and they should escape another way. So it's all for nothing.

At James' latest luxurious hideout, he's ready for some killin', because only he and Sonya knew their route, so she must have betrayed them. Which is when Mike confesses he's been working for the CIA all along. James notes that Mike still saved them from being captured at the marina, and wants to know why. Mike says he's tired of working for people like Strong, who would use people like Simon. Which still isn't enough for James, so Michael hasn't eaten a bullet. Yet.

There's also a whole subplot about Fi keeping an eye on Maddy. It gets kind of ridiculous because Fi keeps getting ready to kill the two guys James has watching Maddy, then being told not to because it might blow Mike's cover, then being told to, then being told not to, and now James knows, and the two idiot goons aren't dead. So maybe Simon had the right idea. When in doubt kill the goons.

The Players: James (Guy Mike's Supposed to Catch), Strong (CIA Guy On The Clock), Simon (Crazy Guy Mike Caught Previously)

Quote of the Episode: James - 'What's happening today has been years in the making. Let's just say our little organization is about to make a giant leap forward.'

Does Fiona blow anything up? Well, she was gonna set off a small charge to take out Kitchen Goon, before Jesse called her off. Thanks, Jesse.

Sam Axe Drink Count: 0 (6 overall).

Sam Getting Hit Count: 0 (2 overall).

Michael's Fake Laugh Count: 0 (3 overall).

Other: Ugh, Sonya went with the stereotypical outraged girl slap when she realized Mike had played her. Look, that shit might work with Maddy, but Sonya's supposed to be this incredibly badass Russian spy. Shouldn't she punch him in the throat, or pistol whip him? So disappointing.

Sonya suffers from that thing a lot of new characters - not just on Burn Notice, but in general in fiction - do: She starts out seeming super awesome or tough as nails, and the longer she's around, the more her edges are blunted. In some cases it's a necessary correction - remember how Jeph Loeb had the Red Hulk being better than every other character ever? No of course you don't. You suppressed all memory of that monumental stupidity for your own sake. But that's kind of how they played it here. Sonya was so dangerous she had to be kept drugged all the time just to keep her from escaping, but Mike played her like a harp.

I spent most of the episode expecting the swerve to be that James and Sonya knew all along Mike was a double agent. That the giant leap forward was going to be Mike leading Strong right into James' hands. Simon's appearance provoked a similar reaction. I figured at that point, all bets were off on surprise character reveals. When James was taking pictures of the dead strike teams' faces to have someone identify them, I figured it might be Dan Siebbels, Mike's handler who we saw only in the Pilot. I started to think/hope that the person they traveled to Mexico to meet was Management. Oh, I would have been so pumped to see Management again. Two episodes left, there's still time.

Burn Notice 7.10 - Things Unseen

Plot: Mike's leaving Miami on a secret mission for James under cover of darkness. First, though, Fi would like to express her concerns with Mike letting James shoot Ben last week. Mike is fairly unconcerned, both because he's sure James hasn't turned him completely around yet, and because he didn't appreciate Ben leaving Fi to die. Off he goes for his mission with Sonya, Fi's doubts about his judgment completely unassuaged.

The mission is to kill Roger Steele. Who's Roger Steele? he's described as an intelligence broker, someone who fosters cooperation between agencies, and also sells information to pretty much anyone. But Michael saved his life once, and so Steele was trying to find him and make certain he was all right. This is, unfortunately for Roger, bringing him closer to James than is considered acceptable. Michael tries to play on Roger's concern by asking for a job, so he could get close enough to easily kill him, but no. Roger is more than willing to give him money, but no job. After an attempted armed assault on Roger's armored SUVs fails, Mike plays at being similarly under attack to draw Roger out to help his old friend Michael. At which point Michael kills Roger Steele.

Back in Miami, Carlos has learned there's a hit out on him. Ten years ago, he snitched on a drug distributor named Nando. Nando killed a courier and stole his drugs, and was supposed to go away forever, but he had enough money to pay enough lawyers to find him an eventual loophole, and bribed a D.A. to see the sealed file, which is how he knows Carlos snitched. Carlos' old contact Detective Holloway tells him he needs to produce that witness to he kept anonymous 10 years ago, so they can nail Nando for murder. Having already narrowly dodged one attempt on his life in the old neighborhood, Carlos and Fi can't go back in to talk to the witness, a Lloyd. So it falls to Jesse and Sam, who sort of accidentally have to abduct the guy. With a little pep talk from Maddy, Lloyd is convinced to talk to the cops. Too bad Holloway was working for Nando. On the plus side, Carlos kept Lloyd hidden until a deal for immunity was set up, so Lloyd is safe. Nando did catch Carlos, and Holloway's dead. Carlos will join her unless Fi produces Lloyd, which she can no longer do, since he bailed with Nando showed up. She can however, produce Michael, who has used James to broker a deal with Nando's boss. A deal that involved Nando being killed.

Well, whatever, Nando was a piece of shit murderer and drug lord. No biggie, right? Carlos does not agree. Turns out the estate belonging to Nando's boss was hit by an armed helicopter right as Nando was being told to let Carlos go. Seven people died. Carlos recognizes this isn't a coincidence, and doesn't feel he can be a part of this thing Fi and Michael have going. So, just as Fi has walked away from Mike numerous times because of his choices, Carlos walks away from Fi over hers. That's gratitude for you.

The Players: Roger Steele (Intelligence Broker/Old Friend), Detective Holloway (Cop With Some Answers), Lloyd (Witness In Hiding), Nando (Angry Recent Parolee)

Quote of the Episode: Carlos - 'You just gonna give him a pass because you're afraid?'

Does Fiona blow anything up? Her relationship with Carlos, metaphorically.

Sam Axe Drink Count: 1 (6 overall).

Sam Getting Hit Count: 0 (2 overall).

Michael's Fake Laugh Count: 3 (3 overall). It's a Christmas miracle! In March, no less.

Other: Hey, at least Carlos made it out alive. But we always knew he and Fi weren't going to last. Like he said, her fate is tied with Michael's, and Carlos wasn't ever gonna break that link. That said, I'm still a little put out by his bailing, because he objects to the tactics Fiona resorted to for, you know, saving his butt. Twice, no less, since she rescued him from his old friends at the beginning of the episode. I know, it's meant to mirror Fi's argument with Michael over how he did nothing to stop James. Fi was laid up in bed, Carlos was in the middle of being worked over with a blowtorch, neither one could do anything at the time to stop the other person. But Carlos walks away from Fi, where she won't break off all contact with Michael. Granted, not entirely her choice, given Strong (we'll get to him in a second) exerting pressure. He's unwilling to be a part of this, even though he has no idea what this is (a failure on Fi's fault by not telling him, to hell with classified).

The difference is, Fi was already out of danger by the time James shot Ben. The mission was over. Carlos was still in Nando's hands, surrounded by armed guys, with only Mike and Fi, both unarmed, in the room on his side. His life, and theirs, were all very much in doubt at the time Nando's boss was being strafed by attack helis. I find it a little hypocritical Carlos wanted to force  Lloyd to risk his life testifying, with only the assurance he'd get witness protection (with no guarantee it'll work if Nando's buying off District Attorneys) to save Carlos' bacon. But he draws the line at people who work for drug kingpins being shot in service of the same goal. If Lloyd had been killed, who would Carlos blame? Nanod? Holloway? Himself, for pushing Lloyd to it?

I'm not dismissing the loss of 7 lives to save Carlos', but given the reach and power Nando had allegedly displayed up to that point, he was definitely risking Lloyd's life with his plan, not to mention Fi, Jesse, and Sam's. Is the difference supposed to be that Lloyd was directly involved as witness, or that Lloyd ultimately agreed to help (under pressure)? Does that make his life less important than the Ricardo's Lopez' help staff? Maybe next time, Carlos could be more specific about how far people are allowed to go to save his life.

While I'm throwing hate around, here's a little for Strong, who showed up to tell Mike that if Roger Steele had to die to make this mission work, then so be it. Roger wasn't a "good guy", according to Strong, anyway. I have this horrible vision of Mike pulling the whole thing off, catching James, destroying the network, only to have Strong renege on the deal and throw Mike in jail for stuff like killing Steele.

Burn Notice 7.9 - Bitter Pill

Plot: Michael, Fi, Jesse, and Sam find themselves abruptly brought at gunpoint to a warehouse patrolled by guys with assault rifles. Very subtle, James. He has a mission for them: to keep Omar Hamed, a leading voice for peace and reform in the Middle East from being killed by people not in favor of peace or reform. They are unfortunately saddled with a lead guy named Ben Snyder, who has never been on a field op. They don't do so well at their task, as Hamed eats a poisoned crab cake. And the waiter is killed in a drive-by before they can interrogate him. But his last call was to a known poison maker/biochemist, Dr. Khalid Mazik.

They track down and abduct Mazik, and when he isn't forthcoming with the antidote, Ben injects him with what they have left of the poison. Which encourages Mazik to help them sneak into his drug lab/fortress and get it, only for Ben to decide to kill Mazik once they have what they need. He does this in the not-at-all stealthy manner of shooting him repeatedly. Which makes it rather difficult to escape, what with all the armed guards coming to investigate. The guards leave when chemicals catch on fire, and Ben leaves Fi to die. Michael is naturally having none of that and rescues her.  All is well that ends well, right? Well, no. James arrives, again escorted by many gun-toting guys, and straight up shoots Ben. Because you do not leave anyone behind. Can't argue with that. This after James confirmed Maddy's suspicions she was being followed by showing up in her living room, and explaining he's only doing it to protect her for Michael.

The Players: Ben Snyder (Leading This Op), Omar Hamed (Potential Deadee), Dr. Khalid Mazik (Friendly Neighborhood Poison Maker)

Quote of the Episode: Madeline - 'You know Michael, sometimes people get used to the wrong things.'

Does Fiona blow anything up? No.

Sam Axe Dink Count: 0 (5 overall).

Sam Getting Hit Count: 0 (1 overall).

Michael's Fake Laugh Count: 0 (0 overall).

Other: Maddy, I've said this to Michael many times, and I'll say it to you when you found James in your home: Just shoot him. Michael isn't going to do it, not yet. He's still trying to fix everything, and capturing James is the key to that. So you do it Maddy. I don't know what Strong will say to that, but you need to keep James away from Plot Device, I mean Charlie.

Gabrielle Anwar's accent seemed to be all over the place in the scene in the combat support hospital. I heard the Irish once or twice, but not always.

Admittedly, I don't know much about poisons, but if you have a sample of the poison, how is it you can't reverse engineer it to make a cure? Can't you break it down to its constituent parts and figure out what the problem is? It wasn't presented as being a time constraint, simply that they could not do it at all.

Burn Notice 7.8 - Nature of the Beast

Plot: Michael's supposed to be waiting for a James to meet him, but is instead told to hurry to a car, and then whisked away to a secret location (another giant house), thwarting Strong's hopes of catching him. James has a mission for Michael, to capture Marcus Carbral, the Dominican republic's top narcotics officer, and also its top drug smuggler. Cabral has a made a deal with MI6 in exchange for a safe exit from his homeland, and James is not all right with that. Michael is to capture Cabral so he can be interrogated and not get away clean. He's only allowed one helper, but at least James lets him pick. So now Sam's involved, as a man making a counteroffer. And it's a real counteroffer, briefcase full of cash and everything. Cabral needs a little convincing, mostly that MI6 can't protect him from his enemies, which Mike handles, probably concussing himself in the process. The capture doesn't go entirely smoothly, as Cabral is (wisely) cautious about being separated from his security, but they manage it.

Back in the States, Strong's had his people analyzing the copy of all that data Mike and Fi retrieved from that hacker syndicate, and it's led to something interesting. James has been paying the bills for a mental patient for the last 15 years, shuttling the John Doe from one mental hospital to another. Strong has him brought to a regular hospital, but has him brought out of sedation, and now the guy is on the loose in the hospital. Jesse winds up with a bomb around his neck, but manages to talk this man, Peter Mallard, into working with them to stop James. But Peter will only talk about James Kendrick to the man trying to bring him down, meaning Michael. What he has to say isn't encouraging, I guess. James and Pete were Delta, sent as part of a squad to kill a warlord. They find a peaceful village where the warlord is basically some kid. They're told to follow orders, wipe out the village. Peter begs James to stop the others, who are inclined to shut up and follow orders. James does - by killing them all in their sleep.

The Players: James (Network Leader with Messianic Pretensions), Marcus Cabral (Drug Smuggler/Sneaky Weasel), Peter Mallard (Old Buddy of James)

Quote of the Episode: James - 'Now when we find a monster, we don't make a deal with it. We destroy it.'

Does Fiona blow anything up? Yes! She blows the door to the morgue off its hinges! Finally! It's been so long!

Sam Axe Drink Count: 3 (5 overall).

Sam Getting Hit Count: 0 (1 overall).

Michael's Fake Laugh Count: 0 (0 overall).

Other: I thought it was interesting Michael let Sam be the one to approach Cabral, while Mike covered him from a distance. Most times, Mike prefers to be the one who gets close, probably because he doesn't want to put his friends in any more danger than he can avoid. I don't think Mike's stopped caring about his friends, so I wonder if that's a sign that he figured the most important thing was to make sure Cabral didn't escape. So if Sam couldn't sway him, kill Cabral. And the past history suggests Sam might balk at that. Maybe. He shot Andre, that smuggler with the speedboat full of money way back when.

The meeting between Maddy and Fi was nice. That Madeline is encouraging Fi not to keep Carlos in the dark, to not risk losing him. I imagine somewhere inside, Maddy harbors hopes Michael will come back and Madeline knows Fiona's probably the only woman for him. But she cares about Fiona enough to care what's best for her. And Fi loves Carlos. So Maddy wants Fi to not keep him in the dark. I tend to agree. Fi should know by now keeping secrets isn't going to lead anywhere good, and what's Strong going to do if she tells? He's already shown his hand. He needs this mission to succeed, and he needs Fi to help make that happen. Still waiting for Strong to catch a bullet, by the way.

We're getting more glimpses of James' resources. I mean, he bulldozed a huge mansions, just because he'd used it as his site to interrogate Michael. He has multiple identical cars, boats, helicopters, trains are not out of the question. Mike can ask for a suitcase full of a million bucks and get it, not to mention a table piled high with guns. I guess when he set himself on this path, he killed a bunch of guys he thought needed killing and took their money.

I still don't see how he can draw all these people to him, and provoke such loyalty in them. Burke made it seem like James was his religion, Sonya's not much different. Even Peter indicates he felt that way. You know, until James had him locked in a looney bin for 15 years. But I don't really see it. He's that sort of vague figure who says a lot of deep-sounding stuff that doesn't mean much. Morpheus in the Matrix was like that sometimes. Said things that sounded good, but weren't actually enlightening. I guess James is playing upon their dissatisfaction with their work. The murky nature of it, the ambiguous goals. Michael's made mention that as a spy, you accept that your work is done in secret, and it's ugly, and you just have to hope that when it's all over, it'll have been worth it. Maybe someone will even acknowledge the good you did. James is playing on that, promising them direct action. They don't have to let the lesser of two evils off the hook; they just take both evils, get what they need, then kill them both. I'd think there'd be issues with conflict of interest, but I suppose that's the point of all the work to establish their loyalty to him. They want what he wants, or they aren't part of the group.

Burn Notice 7.7 - Psychological Warfare

Plot: Michael gets his meeting with the mysterious leader of this terrorist network. The leader will eventually introduce himself as "James", but not until he believes he can trust Michael. Sure, Michael has filled multiple legal pads with a recounting of his career, but that isn't enough. James drugs him, and subjects him to various wild sensory overloads to make it harder for Michael to concentrate enough to lie or withhold. Seems to me any discrepancies would be as likely to be him being too confused to remember the truth as him trying to lie, but James doesn't really seem interested in the facts. He claims Michael was a completely ordinary operative right up to the point where he began working with Larry. James wants to know what changed, what made him into the superstar he is, the guy so good shadowy international conspiracies can't help but try and use him, the guy whose ability to succeed without killing people was the subject of so much discussion in the GRU during Sonya's training?

As it turns out, the last time Michael worked with Larry, he - meaning Michael - did a bad thing. He flat out blew up a factory full of innocent workers because there was a Russian officer who betrayed them hiding there. But this still isn't enough, James keeps pushing, and so instead of a hallucination of Dead Larry yelling at him, it's Mike's dad, demanding Mike tell the truth. Mike keeps his tongue, and makes himself seem sufficiently loyal to be welcomed into the fold. Uh, hooray?

The Players: Sonya (Link to the Network)

Quote of the Episode: Young Michael - 'I didn't tell him anything. I never tell him anything.'

Does Fiona blow anything up? No. I hope she's blowing stuff up in between scenes, because otherwise she's got to be getting antsy.

Sam Axe Drink Count: 0 (2 overall).

Sam Getting Hit Count: 0 (1 overall).

Michael's Fake Laugh Count: 0 (0 overall).

Other: Interesting that when Mike hallucinated Fi, she was wearing the orange dress she wore on their mission to South American in 5.11 "Better Halves". Which was right before Anson showed his hand. So it's probably the last time things were good between them. Mike wasn't helping Anson to protect her. Fi wasn't in jail. Nate wasn't dead. Mike hadn't killed a senior CIA official and made them all enemies of the state, and Mike hadn't seemingly thrown away everything on one last try to make things right.

Mike has a bit of Angel (Buffyverse Angel) in him. Always trying for the grand play that will magically fix all the things that have gone wrong. And it never works. There's always another thing broken or wrong.

I was a little disappointed in Fiona's response to Mike when they met at the start of the episode. Mike trying to awkwardly to explain he slept with Sonya - as part of the mission, which again, I find really off-putting. Fi is kind of hostile, telling Mike he's sleeping with the enemy. Which is true, but I would have preferred indifference as her reaction. The way Mike plays it, it's very clearly him feeling like the job forced him to cheat on Fi, and he wants her to forgive him. Except they aren't together, and Fiona could do us all a favor by getting that straight in Michael's head. That it's his life, and as long as it doesn't impair Mike's ability to get them all out from under the CIA's thumb, he can do as he pleases.

I spent the whole episode thinking "James" looked familiar, and sure enough, it's Brisco County Jr. alum John Pyper-Ferguson. Pete Hutter, what's happened? Did you touch the Orb and get religion like Big Smith? Beyond that, I'm gonna have to see more of James before I have an opinion. I'd like to have a better bead on what inspires this loyalty characters like Burke and Sonya have to him. It can just be drugs and cheap psychoanalysis can it? I'm hoping he has some goal or method that's drastically different, and that's what attracts people to him. As it stands, telling someone "don't resist" as you pump them full of drugs doesn't seem like the way to gain the loyalty he's apparently so fond of.

I appreciated the opportunity to see Dead Larry again, even if he was just a drug-induced hallucination. That winter camo was pretty bad though. It looked like the crap Sam got saddled with in The Fall of Sam Axe. I do like that of course Mike's version of Larry would try to take all the credit for making Mike who he was, when a lot of it is, unfortunately, the result of his father.

Burn Notice 7.6 - All or Nothing

Plot: Sonya's cover was originally blown by some hacker syndicate, and her current mission is to find them, infiltrate them, wipe their records, and steal everything for the people she works for. Except she won't be doing much of that, it'll be Mike and Fi who have to pose as hackers to get employed, then use that to help them sneak and steal everything. Which means lots of awkward tension from the two of them having to work together. And it works, the information is stolen, so that's good.

What's slightly awkward is that Michael is still frustrated by the fact he has no idea who he's working for, and he wants in. Sonya warns him that it might not be a good idea, that this is more than a job, it's a deeper commitment that will divorce him from everything he has. At which point Michael has a loud soliloquy about how he's already lost everything, and he and Sonya have sex. But his apparent vulnerability and loneliness convince her to set up the meeting.

There's a subplot about Sam and Jesse helping Barry track down his girlfriend, who he hasn't seen since he was thrown in prison for helping Michael. As it turns out, she met a guy when she wanted to sell the car Barry bought her, and the two hit it off. Which is a little sad for Barry, but he takes it fairly well once all the facts come out.

The Players: Strong (CIA Guy on a Timetable), Cody Ward (Talent Scout), Jack Frakes (Man In Charge), Pike (Possible Killer/Tricia's New Guy)

Quote of the Episode: Sonya - 'There's a difference between being in the dark, and acting on faith.'

Does Fiona blow anything up? No.

Sam Axe Drink Count: 1 (2 overall).

Sam Getting Hit Count: 1 (1 overall). Wow, starting to feel like old times. All we need now is. . .

Michael's Fake Laugh Count: 0 (0 overall). Oh well, better luck next time.

Other: Hey, at least Mike's back using aliases. Hello, "Mark Fincher".

I wish they'd go back to giving characters titles. It's hard figuring out who I ought to give one to, and what it ought to be.

I don't give him enough credit for this, but Jesse is a very smooth talker. He makes things sound so simple and positive, it's hard to not want to go along with him.

That whole thing with Soyna and Michael is kind of creepy. Mostly because I can't tell if he's being real with her or if it's an act. Even if does feel everyone in his life has moved on without him, it's a little convenient he would just erupt and let it all out there for Sonya like that. It's possible Sonya's playing Mike, but I feel like her interest in him is genuine, for however intense it might be. So the idea Michael's taking advantage of that to get closer to the head of this network is distasteful. Which is funny, given how Michael uses deception almost constantly, but I guess I'm a romantic. I don't like people twisting affection around and weaponizing it. I did think it was interesting how at the start of the scene, Michael came in to his old loft soaking wet from the rain. He did the same thing in Season 2 when he believed Fiona had been caught in that house fire while trying to catch the guy who nearly blew up Michael. If you remember, he came home soaking wet to find Fi waiting for him, and went directly to her.

Hmm, if I remember, in that case he went out the next morning to get them breakfast, and when he returned, Fi was gone and Carla was sitting there waiting for him. This time, Sonya was leaving as he woke up. Apparently Michael's emotional breakthroughs are initially highly attractive, but afterwards, they make the ladies want to run.

Burn Notice 7.5 - Exit Plan

Plot: Sasha's on the loose in Cuba, but not for long, as Mike and the guys manage to track her down and convince her to work with them to escape together. Which could be tricky, as the police have found their escape boat, and all ports and airfields have been closed off. To make matters worse, there's a top-flight G.R.U. agent, Oksana by name, on their tails.

The brilliant plan this week is for Sam and Jesse to pose as bounty hunters who are after Westen, and have a network of locals who keep them just well enough informed Oksana keeps them around, so they can know her plans. Meanwhile, Mike and Sasha will be trying to fix up a small plane in a maintenance hanger in preparation for a quick escape. It sort of works, as is true of most of their plans. Oksana gets wind of some doings at the hanger, so Jesse has to slip out and pretend Westen and Sasha are actually outside the police station laying siege, and that they want Mr. Chuck Finley sent out so they can deal with him. Oksana was only too happy to agree to that request, and so our four heroes make their way back to Miami.

In other plot news, CIA Jerk Strong leans on Fiona to keep her in Miami where she can be of use to Michael in this whole thing.

The Players: Sasha (Person of Interest), Ruben Hernandez (Smuggler), Oksana (Spy Hunter), Strong (Not Fi's Lawyer)

Quote of the Episode: Mike - 'How's it look out there?' Jesse - 'Oh, you know. Classic cars, good music, crumbling infrastructure. Oh, and you two are the stars of a nationwide manhunt.'

Does Fiona blow anything up? No.

Sam Axe Drink Count: 0 (1 overall).

Sam Getting Hit Count: 0 (0 overall).

Michael's Fake Laugh Count: 0 (0 overall). If I were a more egocentric individual, I'd say they were purposefully trying to avoid things people had grown accustomed to in the series.

Other: Giving Jesse the alias "Vigil Tibbs" is pushing the limit a bit. I know Oksana is Russian, but that doesn't mean she wouldn't know anything about In the Heat of the Night. Sure, she doesn't seem like the sort who would consider pop-culture references terribly relevant to her job (in a "know your enemy" way), but you can't be sure.

I do wonder how Sam and Jesse were going to slip away if Oksana hadn't gotten wind of something going on at that hanger, which forced the whole "Mike and Sasha are actually trying to kill you" ploy. Jesse made it outside alone easy enough, but I feel like if both of them had vanished, Oksana would have gotten suspicious. These guys were so eager to work with her, and now they bail? She's not supposed to be an idiot?

The best I can figure is they'd say they need to go canvass their sources. If they made themselves irritating enough, Oksana might be glad to be rid of them.

I was glad Fiona was open with Carlos about why she couldn't go to New Orleans, and that Carlos is willing to roll with it. I'm less happy Fiona tried the "I'm doing this for us" argument, and I'm still convinced Carlos is dead man walking. I'm not saying it's a good thing, he seems like a decent enough guy, it's just the impression I have. He's going to do something noble, and it's going to get him killed.

I can't believe Strong thought it was a good idea to break into the home of someone he knows to be heavily armed, has an itchy trigger finger, and hates his guts. He was even standing in front of a canvas that looked like he was bleeding. Just add his brain matter to the composition, Fi. A little texture for it.

Burn Notice 7.4 - Brothers in Arms

Plot: Burke captured Serano because several months ago, Serano helped the Russians capture a former agent of theirs, and Burke wants her location. Serano refuses, right up to the point he sees a video of Michael in his house, pointing a gun at his daughter's head. At which point Serano spills the beans. But Burke's a sweetie. He gives Serano a gun with one bullet, so the Russians will never know to come looking for him, or enact reprisals against his family.

Problem is, the agent in question is held within a secret Russian prison, in the remains of a Cuban fridge repair shop. Getting in and bringing the target out will be nearly impossible, so they need the Russians to bring her out on their own. So Michael plays the dissatisfied former CIA guy, who just so happens to know about a CIA strike team planning to hit the prison. How do they know about the secret prison? Because a guy working for the GRU in Miami told them. Fi and Maddy are the ones who abduct poor Ivan and make him look like a traitor, which might just be too bad for him and his girlfriend.

The plan seems to be working. Sam and Jesse do a credible job of making a hotel room look like the hastily abandoned headquarters of a well-informed strike force, then abduct one of the Russians and the car full of stuff they pulled from the hotel room, to make him look like a traitor. Everything's all set for them to bring her out to the marina, where Sam, Jesse, and Burke will be waiting. Oh wait, the Russians sent a submarine to handle the pickup. So Burke goes in, posing as the Agency guy working with Mike and clears a path to freedom. By blowing himself and a bunch of guys up with a laptop full of explosives. Well then.

Mike and the others escape, so everything is golden, except for being in Cuba, and once they make sure the marina is clear, that won't be a problem any longer. But the agent woke up, decked Jesse, and now she's on the run.

The Players: Serano {Bad Guy Who Knows Stuff}, Burke {Badder Guy Who Wants To Know Stuff}, Ivan {Patsy}, Vladimir Duboff {Warden}

Quote of the Episode: Burke - 'Your biggest problem isn't the Russians right now. It's me.'

Does Fiona blow anything up? No.

Sam Axe Drink Count: 0 (1 overall).

Sam Getting Hit Count: 0 (0 overall).

Michael's Fake Laugh Count: 0 (0 overall).

Other: I find it hard to believe Burke simply accepted the first thing Serano told him. One of the things Mike harps on constantly is how unreliable torture is, that the person being tortured will say anything to make it stop. Wouldn't that also be true in this case? Serano would say anything to make that gun aim somewhere other than his daughter's head. Now you could argue that Burke will go verify the information, and Serano can take the chance of what he'll do if he finds out it's false, but Burke handed him a gun and a bullet. Which indicates he's accepting what he's been told, because if he isn't why let Serano kill himself? If you find out he lied, then where are you?

I guess the idea was Serano wouldn't take the chance of lying with his daughter's life at stake. Unless he's stalling for time, in the hopes someone can find him and rescue him. We don't know all his resources, or who might come looking for him.

I spent most of this episode thinking Burke was awful bossy and impatient for a guy who wasn't contributing anything. Then he went and saved Michael by blowing himself up. I'm not sorry to see him go - Burke's not my least favorite character, but he wasn't a nice person, ala Max. I do think they've done a good job gradually teasing out this devotion Burke has to something or someone over the first four episodes. The more we've been around him, the more we see he isn't just a hired gun, or a guy out to make a buck for himself. Something deeper than that was driving him. I suppose we'll find out what that is eventually.

Burn Notice 7.3 - Down Range

Plot: Michael's back in the Dominican Republic, trying to put thoughts of Fiona out of his mind. Burke's got something to help: heisting a truck. The guy he originally hired is a little smarter than Burke thought, and too greedy for his own good. Now he's dead, but isn't it lucky Michael knows some guys who can handle it? Strong wants to use his guys, but Mike argues convincingly that it needs to be Sam and Jesse, because their lies will match his lies. So they steal the truck, but a guard picks the wrong moment to step out for a smoke, and Sam has to kill the guy.

Don't worry, Strong assures us the guy was a merc, of the sort who burns down villages. Doesn't do much for Sam, but you can do something with it, if you like. Anyway, truck full of expensive severs and such successfully taken, and Burke has a major terrorist guy on the way to buy them. Trap is set, everybody ready to catch Burke and Serano, so Mike can get out from under Strong's thumb?

Too bad, because Burke's working for someone else, and his real goal is to abduct Serano and bring him to that someone else. So Michael has to keep the trap from being sprung, and do it in such a way Burke doesn't grow suspicious of him. Good thing Sam and Jesse stuck around. Now Michael's on a chopper with Burke and Serano, headed who knows where.

In the other story, Madeline is visited by Leo Sapienza, one of Nate's old bookies. Nate still owes him 80 grand, and Ruth is no longer inclined to pay (or perhaps isn't able if she's in rehab). But Maddy has a kid, so there's Leo's lever. And here's Fiona, Maddy's sledgehammer. So Maddy offers some jewels as collateral, the jewels have a GPS locator, they find Leo's safe, blow out the wall, and steal it. Meaning they have all his money, and his ledger, things his bosses will be very unhappy to learn he lost.

The Players: Burke (Man Who Needs A Truck Stolen), Strong (CIA Blowhard), Leo Sapienza (Bookie), Rafael Serano (Terrorist Bomber)

Quote of the Episode: Sam - 'I killed a man today. So I'm not going anywhere until I know he didn't die for nothing.'

Does Fiona blow anything up? She let Maddy push the button, but I'm giving Fi credit for Leo's rear wall.

Sam Axe Drink Count: 0 (1 overall).

Sam Getting Hit Count: 0 (0 overall).

Michael's Fake Laugh Count: 0 (0 overall).

Other: That moment of dawning comprehension on Leo's face, as he realizes this old lady took his safe, that was beautiful. And Sharon Gless played it well. She's outwardly very pleasant, but it's that sort of fake pleasantry that twists the knife. She could make a big show of this, humiliate him in front of everyone, just as easily as she could destroy him with that ledger. But she won't. She doesn't need to. The way she hands him the ledger, assuring him she has her own copy, is a nice mirror of his handing the little boy a bullet at the start of the episode. It's Leo's end, if he doesn't do what she says.

There's also how Fiona helps Madeline. One thing that's consistently frustrated me is how long Mike, Fi and the others kept up with trying to keep Maddy in the dark. Never trusting her until she called them on it directly, even though she came through for them. Here though, Fi doesn't try to shield her, or sugarcoat. Doesn't tell her to stay home while Fiona goes and handles things. She brings Madeline along, has her help set the det cord, push the button, and lets her lower the boom on Leo at the end. Fiona knows what it's like to feel helpless, forced to do things you don't want to protect someone you care about, just as she's been the one used as the threat. She gets it, and her nature is to strike back, to turn the tables. So she gives Madeline that chance, to feel the sense of closure firsthand. Maddy doesn't have to sit and wait for word that everything's OK, she knows everything's OK because she was there, she handled it personally.

Burn Notice 7.2 - Forget Me Not

Plot: Madeline is getting more than a little frantic about the fact she may have endangered Michael's life by talking to that guy last week (we've learned said guy's name is Dexter Gamble, fyi). She's been shaking the branches trying to get in touch with Michael, and now she's going to visit an FBI office directly. Only to have the elevator she's hijacked to bring her face to face with Michael. Who tells her to cut it out, to stop trying to get in touch with her, and don't tell anyone he's in Miami.

Strong has decided to let Sam, Fi, Jesse, and Carlos do most of the legwork finding Gamble, by bugging their homes and phones. Yeah, Mike surreptitiously watching Fi and Carlos kiss isn't creepy as hell. I can't figure out whether Strong was watching Mike to see his reaction, or if he was checking out the action as well. Scumbag.

The unwitting bloodhounds find Gamble's residence, but Fi gets herself captured, at which point Gamble contacts Sam and tells him he wants to speak to Michael, or Fiona dies. So Michael goes against Strong's orders and stops Sam from trying an extremely risky rescue plan, offering to approach Gamble directly. He promises his plan will result in dead Gamble, and live Fiona. And it does, but any hope Michael had for a real happy ending goes up in smoke, because Fi has moved on. Good for her.

The Players: Still no titles, so again I step up. Strong (CIA Guy on a Clock), Dixon (Not Sam's Friend), Dexter Gamble (Future Deadee)

Quote of the Episode: Gamble - 'Westen? They said you weren't in Miami.' Michael - 'It's your lucky day. I made a special trip just for you.'

Does Fiona blow anything? There's a flashback to her blowing up a car in Ireland, when she and Mike first met.

Sam Axe Drink Count: 0 (1 overall).

Sam Getting Hit Count: 0 (0 overall). The only one who got hit was Michael, by Carlos. I really wanted Strong to get punched, though.

Michael's Fake Laugh Count: 0 (0 overall).

Other: If Strong is the one person Michael works with who doesn't die or have their career ruined from prolonged contact with him, I'm going to be pissed. I might dislike this guy even more than Carla. At least she was an outright villain, no bones about it.

I keep expecting Carlos to die. When he was going to help Jesse draw the fire of someone that had the high ground, I figured that might be it, but no. I wonder if they're going to tease that all season. The viewer probably expects Mike and Fi to end up together at the end. Whether that's a good thing or not is something else entirely, but it's the expectation. Which would require Carlos to step out of the picture somehow. So I wonder if this is going to turn into one of those South Park episodes where Kenny keeps narrowly missing death, only to get tagged when least expected.

Burn Notice 7.1 - New Deal

Plot: It's a new season and Michael Westen is . . . bare knuckle fighting in dive bars in the Dominican Republic? Drinking to an extent that would put Sam to shame? Quite the contrast from the fellow in the nice suit we saw at the end of Season 6.

As we learn in a flashback, Michael's plan to save his friends didn't work out quite as well for him as Fiona imagined. In the classic government/corporate mindset of "kill the messenger", everyone in the intelligence community is pissed at Michael for exposing Tom Card's corrupt activities, and the fact that Olivia Riley went off the deep end. Because that's what you want out of your government: for the guy who actually shows a little conscience to be the pariah. Swell. However, there is a jerk, last name Strong, who has a proposition for Michael. He's trying to bring down some terrorist group, run by an old partner of Michael's. Don't get your hopes up, Dead Larry did not somehow survive Fi's attempt to blow him to smithereens. It's some guy named Burke. Strong wants Mike to play a down on his luck outcast, so that Burke might view him as a safe, but valuable piece to approach and add to his organization.

And it works, except Burke's right-hand man Pablo, doesn't trust Michael at all. To the extent he sent a friend of his to Miami, and said friend went to all of Michael's friends, posing as different people, trying to dredge up information on Mike. Sam and Jesse didn't know anything, and Fi was too busy running down bounties with her new boyfriend, Carlos, but Madeline unfortunately does talk, because he poses as someone who can put the kibosh on her attempt to adopt her grandson (Ruth's in rehab).

While that's going on, Mike and Pablo sneak into some building and blow up a server for Burke, and Mike saves Pablo's bacon when he gets hit. Which doesn't stop Pablo from trying to kill Mike as soon as he hears back from his friend. But he tried it as they drove through a checkpoint, which wasn't the best idea, and he winds up dead having failed to kill Mike, and also having failed to tell Burke what he learned. So Mike's cover isn't blown yet, but he's gonna have to head back to Miami, find this guy, and take him out before the guy contacts Burke on his own. I'm nut sure why Strong assumes the guy will contact Burke, or that he even knows how. How will the guy know Pablo failed to kill Mike, or that Pablo is dead?

The Players: They didn't give us any nifty titles, so I'mma make my own. Ahem: Strong (Desperate CIA Jackass), Burke (Old Friend/Terrorist), Pablo (Burke's Right Hand), Carlos (Bounty Hunter/Fiona's Boyfriend)

Quote of the Episode: Burke - 'I'm not just offering you a new job. I'm offering you a new life.'

Does Fiona blow anything up? No.

Sam Axe Drink Count: 1 (1 overall).

Sam Getting Hit Count: 0 (0 overall). I debated it, but I decided the near miss with the claymore didn't count.

Michael's Fake Laugh Count: 0 (0 overall).

Other: I questioned the wisdom of sending a guy who doesn't speak Spanish to the Dominican, but lo and behold, Michael has actually learned Spanish.

Sam and Elsa were reunited, how lovely. And Jesse managed to retain his job! That's pretty impressive. I mean, he must have missed a ton of days.

I'm not excited at the idea of Maddy adopting Nate's kid. The potential is there for some stupid plotlines involving the kid as a hostage, or potential lever against Michael, so the kid's basically a prop. Or being too precocious to the point he's annoying. There's so many ways it can go wrong, and so few it could land right.

I don't like Strong. Even beyond his perspective of Michael as having stabbed the agency in the back, which is a pretty idiotic perspective. What exactly, has the Agency done for Michael? They threw him out on the street without a second glance when he was burned, treated him like something they'd scrape off their shoe. It was one of their guys - Card - who got Nate killed, and Riley, of her own accord made deals with drug lords to try and bring Mike down. Michael made mistakes - I've mentioned before the list of lives that were ruined by coming into contact with him is mighty long - but Strong does not get to call Mike on that. He hasn't earned the right. Especially because, when you add it all up, he still needs Michael to save his ass. Even Card, scumbag that he was, expressed the occasional bit of gratitude for Michael's work on his behalf. OK, fine, he was manipulating Michael because he believed Michael has a deep-seeded need for the approval of male authority figures, but he still complimented him.

Burn Notice 6.18 - Game Change

Plot: Picking up immediately where the last episode left off, Fi crashes the party of her doctor acquaintance, Jed. He's not real interested in helping Sam, until Michael uses a little firearm persuasion. So Sam lives, narrowly, as our crew hole up in Jed's place for the night. Where they are attacked by members of a drug cartel. Based on the high quality satellite photos they brought with them, Mike concludes these are members of a cartel they tangled with previously, set on them by Riley. This is apparently a bridge too far, but it gives Michael something to use to get Bly on board with him.

All that's needed is to draw Riley out, then push her to contact the cartel, so they can catch her with him. Fortunately, this can be accomplished by getting Sam some real medical attention at a hospital. He rattles Riley's cage a little, after she replaces his morphine drip with a stimulant. So he'll hurt worse. Swell. Fi bugs Riley's car, they hear her set up a meeting, and Mike and Bly head over there to get the scoop. Which is that Riley's promising to help the cartel elude the DEA, if they eliminate Westen. This is big news. Pity Bly won't survive to tell anyone about it, as a cartel guy poses as a marina security guard and drops a grenade in Bly's lap.

Great. It's a bad scene, because all the evidence they'd collected went up with Bly and his Crown Vic. Which makes Mike a little desperate. More than he's been lately. He boards the ship (while Jesse and Fi engage all the cartel guys), and sets out for open waters, attracting the attention of the Coast Guard. Then he threatens Riley with destruction if she doesn't call in and not only confess what she's done, but also provide all the evidence she created to pin the work with the cartel on Michael. I'm not sure how it works, since she doesn't make the call until after Michael stops the boat, to avoid death. Once he stopped, wasn't she out of danger?

Well, anyway, it's initially unclear whether it worked, because we see Fi, Sam, Jesse, and Maddy in some detention facility. But they're brought out into a really fake looking set, and see Michael in a nice suit, giving people orders. He tries to explain to Fi that he had to make deals to save them from the various criminal actions they took, but she's not having it. She sees it as Michael once again taking advantage of the situation to get what he always really wanted - to be back fully in the intelligence fold. And that's where it ends, Fi crying, Mike looking, I'm not sure what that face was. That sort of befuddled, squinty look he gets, when he has no idea what to say.

The Players: Olivia Riley (CIA Heavy Hitter), Jason Bly (CSS Agent), Dr. Jed (Cokehead Plastic Surgeon/Sam's Only Chance), Alejandro Lopez (Cartel Kingpin)

Quote of the Episode: Michael - 'We can't stay here and we can't leave.' Madeline - 'Now you know what life with your father was like.' Michael - 'How did you deal with it?' Madeline - 'I made a choice, and I lived with the consequences.'

Does Fiona blow anything up? Well, there were some Molotovs. I guess that could count.

Sam Axe Drink Count: 0 (26 overall). No booze with meds, obviously.

Sam Getting Hit Count: 0 (8 overall).

Michael's Fake Laugh Count: 0 (2 overall).

Overall: It was pretty cold of Mike to mention the evidence was destroyed before mentioning that Bly died. I know they weren't friends, but he was helping you, Mike. Anyway, we have another name to add to the list of people who suffer for their association with Michael Westen. That list is getting really long.

At least now I understand why Michael never wears his seat belt. If you do, then you can't bail out of the car quickly if someone chucks grenades in the car.

Those backgrounds did look really bad. Like something out of an early episode of Power Rangers. I guess they didn't want to pick and move the filming to an area that actually had mountains.

I wonder if Michael escaping on a dirtbike was a callback to the pilot. If you remember, when Michael's first burned, he's in Nigeria, and it causes a deal to fall through. So he escapes angry guys in luxury cars by driving a dirt bike through a black market area. The other thing I noted from that escape sequence was that Riley could really move. Those shoes had some decent heels, and she was running on linoleum, but she was making tracks after him.

I'm still very disappointed in how Riley turned out. This whole thing about her losing it, being willing to do anything to catch Michael, was a real letdown. Why would she even think cartel guys could take Michael? Ooh, guys with guns, how scary. She already had guys with guns, and it wasn't doing her any good. If she knew he was at Dr. Jed's (and how could she find him there, but never found Schmidt's place), why not call in all the cops, feds, army, whoever, surround the house, then just go in? Mike isn't going to kill cops, so if you present him with so much force there's no other choice, you've got him.

So that's two seasons in a row where the big plot of the last third of the season was not to my liking. I will say I liked this better than the Anson arc. This was disappointing, Anson was just supremely irritating.

Burn Notice 6.17 - You Can Run

Plot: The person who left the note and flowers at Nate's grave was. . . Jason Bly! I was going to say he hadn't appeared since midway through Season 2. Then I remembered he was the one who tried to convince Fi to implicate Michael to save herself at the start of this season. I was more focused on the Anson-punching in that episode. Bly explains there's been enough nosing around since Card's death to reveal he was up to something, and if Michael turns himself into Bly, they might just be able to expose it. Also, Michael being in custody might get the others off the hook, which sorely tempts Michael. Fiona is having none of it, naturally. Which means they're stuck relying on those passports and hoping for the best as they try to get hired on as crew on a cargo ship. Problem: Riley thought of that, and all the ports in the area are on the lookout, so they aren't escaping that way. Given Riley's tactical team, Mike and Sam are lucky to escape at all.

Too bad Jesse had gone with them, and now he's Riley's prisoner. And too bad Sam's gut shot. But Michael captured the guy who did it, so they have a prisoner. Hooray?

The middle of the episode is a series of races. Michael tries to get the location where Riley has Jesse out of his prisoner, Dean. At the same time, Riley's trying to get Michael's location out of Jesse, first with beatings, then by offering him what she thinks he desires most - a look at the closed police file to his mother's murder. The third race is Campbell and Maddy working to keep Sam from bleeding to death. The Mike beats Riley in their race, and Campbell stalled the Reaper, for now. Off Mike and Fi go to rescue Jesse, gassing everyone in the safe house with some medical sedative Campbell gave them. he didn't do so happily, but Fi basically told him that if they couldn't knock everyone out to rescue Jesse, they'd have to use explosives and firearms, which would mean dead people. Poor Campbell. But they rescued Jesse without anyone dying, though Bly was not pleased to hear Michael attacked a CIA safe house.

It's the least of his problems, because Sam needs a real doctor, if it isn't already too late.

The Players: Olivia Riley (CIA Heavy Hitter), Jason Bly (CSS Agent/Not A Friend), John Campbell (Fiona's Ex-Boyfriend)

Quote of the Episode: Sam - 'You've got good reasons for things, but you do enough bad things. . . you become the bad guy.'

Does Fiona blow anything up? No. She gassed a building full of people, though.

Sam Axe Drink Count: 0 (26 overall). Don't think liquor is the best thing when you're gut shot. Though I suppose it might help with infection, if it's high enough proof.

Sam Getting Hit Count: 1 (8 overall). I think being shot counts as a hit.

Michael Fake Laugh Count: 0 (2 overall).

Other: It's funny that Fiona is now the one insisting nobody goes to jail to save everyone else. It's the same as last season, only she and Michael have switched sides on the debate. Oh, and Fiona didn't actually kill the people she was accused of killing, while Michael absolutely did shoot Tom Card. But it's more about the sentiments than the details. When you boil it down, Michael is contemplating throwing himself on the pyre before his friends die or do something they shouldn't have to while trying to help him. Which is why Fi turned herself in, to keep Michael from going too far helping Anson.

Does this mean people would prefer to sacrifice themselves, than see their loved ones suffer? That isn't exactly a surprise, but the flipside to it is that said loved ones still suffer, because they lose you. Michael was clearly not in a good frame of mind that whole time he was trying to get Fi out of prison. He was right on the line, stepping over sometimes, managing to pull himself back other times. Being a martyr sounds wonderfully self-sacrificing, but I wonder if it isn't also to protect themselves a little. This way, they don't have to deal with being hurt by losing that loved one, because they make the sacrifice. The loved one is left to pick up the pieces and deal with the loss, seeing as they were not given a say in the matter. Is it a matter of doing the right thing for the wrong reasons, or the wrong thing for the right reasons?

I feel really bad for Campbell. He's a genuinely nice guy, wants to help people, still cares about Fiona. He's just not meant to be in the middle of stuff like this. Like Nate, but in a different way. Nate had a shitty life at times, and the problem was that (combined with his super-cool big brother) made him either indifferent to danger, or just really bad at assessing how much danger there was. I think Campbell has a pretty good life, pretty clear cut. See person sick or injured, help that person as much as possible until you can get them to a hospital. Be nice, treat people well. He's not cut out for all this stuff with guns and threats, and "We can't involve the police". And I really didn't like Fi basically saying that if he didn't get them the sedatives, lots of people would die. It's true, but it's a shitty guilt trip, precisely because I know Campbell can't withstand it. Of course he's going to help, even though I imagine there will be inquiries into why he needed that much of those drugs.

Kudos to Jesse, holding as he did. It doesn't always come up, but that undercurrent of Jesse wanting resolution on his mother's murder, is always there. For Riley to dangle that carrot in front of him, I wondered if he would talk. And if he had, I wouldn't have blamed him. He's never been quite as deep in the group as Sam, Fi, and Mike. It's inevitable, they've known each other a lot longer, even if FI and Sam hated each other at the start. Jesse's always going to be a little bit outside (though he's more in than Maddy in some ways). He's not a fool, he probably senses it. And this is a chance to find his mother's killer, something that means a lot to him. I would have understood his decision, but he held out. I actually think Riley made the mistake, when she presumed to speak for his mother. She tried a little too hard, and I think it triggered the alarms in his head. The reminder of what exactly Riley wanted in exchange for this offering. If she let the promise of the file speak for itself, it might have been too much for him to resist.

I want to get on Riley's case about some of her recent tactics - having Jesse beaten, arresting Sugar, lying to Jesse about the file - but she's using the same playbook Michael has since the beginning of the show. Michael lies to people so they'll do what he wants, gets them to betray people. He abducts people and interrogates them. The difference is Riley's using it against the protagonists, rather than for them. I am a little disappointed. I had hoped Riley would be this straight-shooter, honestly determined to bring Michael in, but not willing to do anything to do it. Michael is guilty of killing Tom Card. There are extenuating circumstances we know about, sure, but at the end of the day, Michael shot a man who had holstered his weapon. Riley isn't wrong about that, but I think it weakens her position to use these kinds of tactics. Kind of damages her moral credibility.

I guess one key difference between her and Michael is, when Michael uses these techniques to help a client, he's usually operating from a position of weakness. He has no official standing, limited firepower and manpower. The people he's dealing with often have lots of all of those things. Weapons, money, political connections, police protection, etc. Michael uses the tricks he does to compensate for the stacked deck. Riley has the entire government on her side. She has immense resources, is not the underdog by any stretch of the imagination. So it feels cheap, like she has to cheat to win, even though the deck is stacked for her. But she's a spy, she's used to fighting dirty, and old habits are hard to break. Just ask Michael. But that line Sam delivered to Mike, the one I used above? That could easily apply to Riley as well.

And it's only going to get worse in the season finale.

Burn Notice 6.16 - Odd Man Out

Plot: Large bag of cash in hand, Sam and Jesse visit a rival smuggler Schmidt knows to acquire the passport chips they need. Vanek is rather miffed Schmidt didn't accompany them, but for an extra 200 grand, he's willing to overlook it, as long as they they let Schmidt know Vanek is dismantling his operation. Sure thing, angry vindictive guy.

With the chips, Dixon is able to whip up nifty passports for them and every thing is looking great. Until Vanek shows up looking for blood. Seems Schmidt tried to sic the feds on him, but didn't count on Vanek having his own guy in the Bureau. Our heroes are forced to flee, and wind up trapped in some factory. It must be a weekend, since the place looks nice and clean, but is completely empty. Just as well, with all the bullets, forklifts, industrial fans and whatnot flying around. Jesse and Maddy swipe a dump truck for everyone to escape in, but there's the little matter of all the open ground between the truck and the factory, empty ground filled with angry guys with automatic weapons. A furious debate ensues between Fi and Sam, with Fiona insisting they send Schmidt out to face Vanek's wrath, while Sam sticks by "no man left behind". This is pretty impressive of Sam, considering Vanek reveals he tags all his passport chips, meaning he could sell that info to the feds in exchange for some sort of deal. And what's more Schmidt knew this when he tipped off the law.

It's at this point Mike sends Fi and Sam hunting for supplies, so he can walk Schmidt out there without interruption. Then he spots a transformer, shoots it, causes a lot of sparks, fire, etc., giving them the cover they need to reach the dump truck and bail. Afterwards, Mike tries to play it off as though that was his plan all along, but Schmidt doesn't buy it. At any rate, the passports ought to be good long enough for them to get out of the country, and until they leave, they can use his house. Schmidt, however, plans to bail.

The episode ends with Maddy and Mike at Nate's grave, where someone has left flowers and a note, asking Michael to contact them.

The Players: Calvin Schmidt (Smuggler), Vanek (Cutthroat Businessman)

Quote of the Episode: Schmidt - 'Is that the same load of crap you shovel down your team's throats?'

Does Fiona blow anything up? No.

Sam Axe Drink Count: 0 (26 overall).

Sam Getting Hit Count: 1 (7 overall).

Michael's Fake Laugh Count: 0 (1 overall).

Other: Michael's actions this episode felt very much like Asshole Batman stuff. Treating his friends, who have saved his life I don't know how many times, like kids who can't be part of the grown-up decisions. Send them off on a wild goose chase for nonexistent supplies, so he can make the TOUGH CALLS all by himself. Way to treat them like idiots that were in the way.

He's always tiptoed along that line, to be fair. He always tries to treat Maddy that way, no matter how many times she demonstrates she can cope with the crap his life throws at her, he treated Jesse that way for half of Season 4, and he does it with Sam and Fi from time to time. Still, I believed he understood how much he could count on them. That was why, even if he was the one stepping onto the bullseye, they were somewhere nearby, watching over him. This stunt, it really rubs me the wrong way. Yes, Schmidt's been nothing but trouble, a complaining pain in the ass, but I'm with Sam. You don't start sending other people to die to save your own skin. And you're doing it on the word of an obviously murderous smuggler that he'll let you go after you give him Schmidt. While Vanek was far more reasonable about the whole thing than I would have expected, that's a lot of trust to extend.

I imagine Dead Larry would have approved, though.

Burn Notice 6.15 - Best Laid Plans

Plot: Schmidt is safe from angry Syrian intelligence agents for now, but with his last warehouse now a crime scene, Mike and the others need to raise some dough to pay for their new identities. 200 grand per person, 800,000 total since Sam will be coming along. He went to see Elsa, and she told him the man she fell in love with wouldn't abandon his best friend, so he's sticking with Mike.

Jeez, I think I'm falling in love with Elsa, but no time for that, there's money to be raised, and it just so happens Schmidt has a piece of equipment that will net him a cool million when he delivers it. He just has to get it out of that warehouse the cops are swarming over. Fi and Jesse help him recover the package, but he tries to take some bottles of booze as well, drops one, alerts the cops, and the cops shoot the package during the escape. So it's a non-functioning piece of junk. No problem, Mike says, paint over the bullet holes, make it look good, deliver it, get the cash, take off. This seems to overlook the fact Thorne, the buyer, will begin hunting Schmidt down as soon as he realizes it doesn't work, but I guess Mike figures that isn't his problem. It becomes his problem when Thorne gets suspicious and Schmidt oversells by promising he has a technician who can verify the modifications and run the thing. Which is how he and Sam end up tagging along on Thorne's dry run at a pharmaceutical company, and then on the real heist, a gem exposition. Thanks to Mike planting a gun and a bug in the device, everything works out OK. Thorne goes to jail, nobody dies, there's enough money to take care of their new identities with a cool 200 grand left to spare.

Or maybe not. While all this has been going on, Maddy's still sneaking around trying to help Michael. She gets cuffed and dragged into interrogation, then released after letting slip that Michael hasn't left the country yet. Then she visits Barry and has him transfer money from Mike and the others' now flagged accounts to countries all over the globe. But Barry made the mistake of canceling a couple of grooming appointments which tipped off Riley and he winds up arrested. And since Maddy smoked some cigarettes while she was there, now she's on the run. There goes that other 200K.

The Players: Calvin Schmidt (Smuggler), Thorne (Not Schmidt's Favorite Client)

Quote of the Episode: Barry - 'Excuse me for not wanting to screw over my manscapist. You know, helping your family is like having a venereal disease. It's the gift that keeps on giving.'

Does Fiona blow anything up? Nope. She did drive a forklift through a wall.

Sam Axe Drink Count: 1 (26 overall).

Sam Getting Hit Count: 0 (6 overall).

Michael's Fake Laugh Count: 0 (1 overall).

Other: There were quite a few exchanges I liked in this episode. 'Schmidt, when in doubt, keep your mouth shut.' Or, 'No, no, my client robs and kills people for a living. So we don't have to feel bad about ripping him off.' Schmidt's constant nicknames for Jesse. I still have difficulty buying Patton Oswalt as a successful smuggler, but he's certainly amusing.

So Mike's idea with the money transfers was to get all these intelligence agencies busy looking for him and his friends in these countries. Like they had arrived and were now trying to bring their money over. Since Riley knew by that point that Michael hadn't left the country, didn't that render it moot? It's already a stretch to assume Riley or anyone else thinks Michael Westen so stupid as to believe his bank accounts aren't flagged. It just seems like once Riley interrogated Maddy and Maddy made that little slip, that plan should have been abandoned.

Certainly would have worked out better for Barry. Yes, as Maddy noted, Mike has saved Barry a few times. But Barry isn't wrong when he notes that he's saved - or at least helped save - Mike's bacon multiple times. No matter how radioactive Mike has been, Barry's always been willing to help. Some times out of fear or for money, true, but he has never turned his back on him. And now he's in jail for who knows how long. Hopefully he managed to destroy all his records, or jail probably won't save him from his irate clients. Assuming they aren't too busy fleeing prosecution themselves.

Over these recent episodes, the story has really been harping on two things: How far Mike, Sam, Jesse, and Fi are willing to go for each other, and how desperate Mike is to fix things. That second one especially. Mike's been offering a stream of platitudes basically since he shot Card. He's sorry for this, he's sorry for that. He'll fix it. . . somehow. It's the final third of Season 5 all over again, except this time it isn't just Fiona's head on the block, it's everyone's.

Burn Notice 6.14 - Down and Out

Plot: Having been branded as traitors, it's time to flee the country. Sam has a tearful good-bye with Elsa, that is cut short when they realize Riley had already gotten to Fi's fake passport guy. The crew makes a narrow escape, but has to leave Elsa behind to be questioned by the CIA. Sam isn't exactly ecstatic about that, but the more pressing problem is where they're going to find some decent fake passports now. Sam's hacker acquaintance, Dixon, knows a guy, but Calvin Schmidt isn't in the mood to see or speak to anyone, seeing as he hiding out from a former Syrian Intelligence agent. Schmidt helped the guy's wife escape him, and now Jabbar Hamady is dismantling Schmidt's smuggling operation one warehouse at a time. If Mike can remove Jabbar, then sure, Schmidt will send them anywhere they want to go.

To that end, Mike poses as a former employee of Schmidt's, now disgruntled after he was tortured on suspicion of betrayal. The idea being this will get Mike near Hamady and then he can send him wherever he wants, get him to start shooting, and then sic the cops on him. Great plan, except Schmidt - not pleased at losing yet another warehouse full of illicit goods, tried sneaking in to grab some stuff and got captured. So now Mike has to make himself useful when Hamady doesn't need him to help find Schmidt. There's some fake interrogation, some drug use, Schmidt's heart stops, Mike takes advantage of the fake that Riley decided to try and intimidate Madeline by really obviously bugging her house, and Jabbar winds up arrested. Great! Two problems: One, the manner in which it happens made Riley fed up with her cat-and-mouse game with Maddy. Two, because Schmidt took a severe financial hit on this plan, Mike and the others are going to need to drum up 200 grand person to cover the expenses. That's $800,000, assuming Sam's actually going. Which is uncertain at the moment.

The Players: Calvin Schmidt (The Client), Jabbar Hamady (Guy Trying to Kill Schmidt)

Quote of the Episode: Sam - 'Yeah, well, doing something insanely dangerous won't fix things with me and Elsa.'

Does Fiona blow anything up? No.

Sam Axe Drink Count: 4 (25 overall). Quite the increase there. Having to abandon your lady really makes a man want to drink.

Sam Getting Hit Count: 0 (6 overall).

Michael's Fake Laugh Count: 0 (1 overall).

Other: Mike was "Brent Soder' this week. Fi's i.d. guy proved his evilness by trying to make Sam 'Randy Weems'. At least he doesn't have to use that identity now.

I can't believe Jesse ruled out the West Indies entirely because of one ex-girlfriend. If Sam took that approach, there wouldn't be anywhere they could go. Maybe Greenland.

Maddy's wish for them to say good-bye was touching. I know a lot of it was about Michael, but the fact that Fi and the others have come to mean a lot to her as well, it was a nice acknowledgement of how she's been there alongside them through all of this.

I have a difficult time seeing Patton Oswalt as a successful smuggler. Too many years of the Kingpin in Daredevil comics, I suppose. I figure a successful "import/export" businessman should dress better. And not be such a ninny. Maybe it's meant to be the paranoia. Since Jabbar has informants among Schmidt's men, he doesn't believe he can trust anyone, so he's a nervous wreck.

If Riley really has all the places in the area they could get travel papers staked out, why not travel farther? Go to Alabama, or Ohio, or something. It's not as though Riley's built some impenetrable web of surveillance, or they wouldn't be able to run around doing all this crap for Schmidt. Just get out of the area. Head to a border state, get some appropriate documents, then hop across the border.

I kind of like how they used Riley. If you keep letting her catch up to Michael, only to have him escape, it makes her look incompetent. What they seem to be doing is showing Riley as relentless and methodical. She's done her research, and she's gradually cutting off all their most readily available options. You could even say she was trying to be nice in how she handled Maddy. She had her sign that form stating she'd help their investigation, then made sure Maddy understood what it would mean to break that agreement. She was very open about the fact she bugged the place. Yes, that's intimidation and police state tactics, but from one perspective, you could see it as her trying to keep Madeline from getting herself in trouble by helping Michael. "Don't contact your son, we're listening to your phone conversations. If you keep your distance, you'll be fine, and I don't have to send an old woman to prison." Riley's isn't rainbows and hugs, but she's not a trying to win at all costs, to hell with collateral damage.