Random Back Issues #175 - Daredevil #260

Daredevil's having a great day! He's over his infatuation with that strumpet Mary Walker, he and Karen Page are very much in love. Why, he might even march in the anti-nuke rally today! What could go wrong?

Spongebob Narrator Voice: Three Minutes Later. . .

Bullet jumps DD as he's crossing the rooftops. He speaks in riddles, saying he's attacking Daredevil because he exists, that his punches are 'kisses from someone who loves him'. Matt contemplates just walking away. The fight has no point, why not just leave? But Bullet's next charge sends him careening off the edge of the roof, into the anti-nuke parade, so now DD feels committed.

The crowd is split on this development. A few insist Daredevil protects the streets. Others counter he's only protection in the way nuclear warheads are a deterrent, that guys like Daredevil and Bullet are really fighting over nothing, just stupid territorial spats. Ann Nocenti is nothing if not blunt.

Anyway, Bullet knocks himself stupid(er) by crashing into one too many walls. Now here's Bushwacker, shirtless, covered in bandages, and shooting at DD with his gun-arm while roaring down the sidewalk on a motorcycle, just as the Founding Fathers intended. Daredevil dives into an alley and climbs a fire escape, determined to get clear of the crowd, but Bushwacker brought a flamethrower along and manages to torch DD's legs as he flips onto the roof. If you shoot a flamethrower straight up, doesn't that make it rain jellied, burning gasoline? Oh well, the fight continues on the rooftop, Daredevil trying to punch out Bushwacker from his knees. He gets clipped by a shot and has to acrobatically flip and leap away.

Straight off a roof and onto a "Nukeman" (looks a little like Superman with a missile cone on his head) balloon. A balloon Bushwacker shoots, causing it to explode and sending the crowd into a panic. Daredevil lands in the middle of this, costume torn and senses are warped. He mistakes a blind, wheelchair bound man with a tin cup for Buschwacker, juggling bullets. A random woman stops Daredevil from beating up a blind man, but can't convince him to visit a hospital.

Because Daredevil is fine, just fine. Staggering down the sidewalk, using buildings to stay upright, muttering to himself while annoying someone by ringing their intercom. Perfectly normal behavior. Then he gets punched in the face by Ammo. Thank goodness for House to Astonish's recap of Daredevil villains, or I'd have to pull out my copy of issue #252 to remember that goober's name. Hadn't forgotten those zebra-striped spandex pants, though.

Matt's got nothing left in the tank, mostly just eating a beating. Meanwhile, the anti-nuke march has met the Fourth of July "God Bless 'Murica" parade and, predictably, violence has begun. I gotta say, for having been disrupted multiple times by Daredevil-related violence, those anti-nuke protestors kept on marching.

The Human Torch flies overhead, sees a guy in a red suit he figures is Daredevil, doesn't note he's getting his ass kicked, and flies off to whatever emergency the FF were dealing with. FYI, this issue came out concurrently with Fantastic Four #320, which was the first half of Spiky-Thing vs. Joe Fixit Hulk (continued in Incredible Hulk #350), so I'm not sure what emergency Johnny's rushing off to. He'll show up a couple of issues from now, trying to help and mostly messing it up.

Meanwhile, Ammo's telling Daredevil this, meaning violence, is Daredevil's life. It's what he is, so why does expect anything different than to be attacked? Meanwhile, the two parades are still fighting, and minus whatever signage they're carrying, you can't tell the sides apart. Ammo makes a final comment about DD having one foot in the grave and another on a banana peel, hits him with a solid right cross that rolls him into the street, and there Daredevil stays as the crowd moves on.

But we're not done yet! This was a super-sized issue, 48 pages of Daredevil getting tenderized. Matt eventually staggers his way into an alley where a hallucination of his father tells him to stand and fight. As Matt shadowboxes himself, he's haunted by visions of other foes: Bullseye, Gladiator, Elektra, Typhoid and Kingpin, all taunting him for his reliance on violence. (I wonder if Elektra's comment Matt seemed to love her more as she grew more violent is accurate.) Then his ghost father berates him for fighting, right before Matt gets sucker-punched by the "Wildboys", a couple of losers he dealt with at Christmas in issue #253.

While one Wildboy brags about how strong a punch he's got, the other complains he didn't get to do anything. So he throws Daredevil through a rotted fence. Then they beat him with the planks. Matt can't do much more than throw handfuls of garbage in their face and sorry, these guys aren't that big a pair of losers. Maybe soapy water would have done the trick. They decide to chuck him off a bridge, despite orders to leave the 'last inch' to the woman who hired them.

At which point Typhoid Mary appears, machete at their throats. Even allowing the Wildboys' legs are bent somewhat at the knees, I think Romita Jr. draws her as taller than them. The losers run, and she hauls Daredevil up by one arm. He asks her to save him, she asks if he loves her, wants her. Matt denies it. He doesn't, not even to save his life. Give it a few issues, Matt. As he's done all day, he asks why she's doing this. She doesn't even know him.

And he falls, and she cries. Soon, he'll be getting strangled by a demonically-possessed vacuum cleaner, taking a flamethrower to his entire life and fleeing the city like Napoleon fled Russia (see Random Back Issues #51 and #104.) This run is so bonkers, I love it.

{3rd longbox, 80th comic. Daredevil #260, by Ann Nocenti (writer), John Romita Jr. (penciler), Al Williamson (inker), Max Scheele (colorist), Joe Rosen (letterer)}

Random Back Issues #174 - The Power Company #11

Gumbo's Eats-A-Teria, where the food is as terrible as the name! And most of the customers are ex-cons, looking to get thrown back in the stir, I mean, looking for work. Unfortunately for three of them, they had their discussion one booth over from where Bork and Sapphire were enjoying their dinners. So those two, plus Manhunter, invite themselves along to the meeting.

It's going smoothly, no real challenge, when suddenly, there's smoke, and drums. Someone knows how to make an entrance. Someone big enough to toss Manhunter around like a doll. Someone who can, to Manhunter's surprise, use "effrontery" correctly. Too bad the guy couldn't pick a better name than "Mourn."

Worse for him that Firestorm shows up, and takes Mourn out in 4 panels. After which he apologizes he didn't do something flashier. Right, flashier than making the floor mist, causing a water pipe to open, then turning the water to steel, except for the part closest to Mourn's face, which got turned to chloroform. Dull as dishwater. Manhunter assures him he did fine, and even though this gig didn't pay, he's very happy.

The reason becomes clear at a press conference meant to introduce Firestorm as the newest associate of the company. Manhunter interrupts to explain the men they busted were part of Shadowspire, some apparently notorious group that once infiltrated the federal government and even killed two Senators. Shadowspire was supposed to have been taken down years ago, but the files the Power Company found today may (load-bearing word there), once they've been studied, suggest Shadowspire's back, stronger than ever.

But the Power Company will be happy to help! And it won't cost one cent more than regular consultation fee rates.

All of which is news to Firestorm. These guys were still recruiting small-time hoods. They were based in a garage! They stole the Mourn suit from a government warehouse! Exactly, they've already resumed infiltrating the government through its most vulnerable point: un-monitored storage facilities.

Before he and Skyrocket can discuss it further, it's time for Firestorm to meet the press. Ronnie explains it as, he was initially unsure about Manhunter and Witchfire's offer, but they talked it out and reached an agreement. What we see is he was flat broke, JLA stipend (from Batman, or is it Atlantean and Amazonian gold?) burned on back rent and tuition, dreading eating another relish sandwich. Manhunter, after making a crack about getting to Firestorm after Blue Beetle turned them down, shows Ronnie what his starting salary will be and, well. . .

After how he handled Mourn, maybe Firestorm ought to ask for a raise. I like Blue Beetle, but Ted Kord isn't changing water into steel/sleeping gas. 

In the background, Skyrocket and Manhunter have an angry, whispered conversation about how he's lying just to drum up business. Manhunter argues nothing he said was false. It was Shadowspire, they did do the things he said, the files may, in fact, reveal the organization to be far larger and better organized than they appeared today. But if it is fraud, then it certainly wouldn't be in the company's best interests if someone, say another major shareholder like Skyrocket, to denounce him publicly.

Then he steps forward to help a floundering Firestorm with the press, leaving Skyrocket to stew over what she can actually do to counter this kind of stuff while Josiah Power's in a coma. She decides to contact Witchfire. As the third shareholder, she's the deciding vote, and firmly in Manhunter's, "all about the Benjamins" camp, unless Skyrocket can convince her otherwise.

But the pop star-turned-sorceress is in Louisiana with Striker Z, trying to track down a magic sword for the Lords of Trinius, who will pay well. Striker's a little concerned if it's smart to give the sword to these guys, who might enslave the world with it. Sensing he's thinking too much like Skyrocket, Witchfire plays the, "I saw you like Nickelback. I can bring you to meet them next time they play in L.A." card.

No doubt summoned by that cursed name, some many-tentacled thing with a lot of teeth sneak attacks. As Striker Z gets dragged under, Witchfire's surprised to find one of her arms missing, and the stump is just glowing yellow energy. 

{8th longbox, 90th comic. The Power Company #11, by Kurt Busiek (writer), Tom Grummett (penciler), Prentis Rollins (inker), Guy Major (colorist), Comicraft (letterer)}

Random Back Issues #173 - Peter Parker: Spider-Man #91

All right, it's the good Identity Crisis! What? I'm entirely serious.

Spider-Man's been framed for the murder of some guy named Joey Z. By Norman Osborn, because this was post-Clone Saga, when they made Osborn into Peter Parker's Kingpin, aka, the guy that's behind everything that goes wrong in the hero's life. In response, Peter adopted 4 new costumed identities, which makes getting ready for a clandestine meeting with Arthur Stacy (Gwen's uncle) and a Detective Snipes tricky. MJ has a good laugh at his expense, so Peter throws on his regular duds in a huff.

Snipes had some 'lab boys' analyze a sample of Spidey's webbing, and it doesn't match what was used to suffocate Joey Z. The mayor and D.A. are getting pressure from 'the private sector' (read: Osborn), and they don't care. Spidey figures the only person who could approximate his webbing is The Trapster, and, lo and behold, he's got a price on his head. The issue started with him handling some members of the Hand (?!) that tried to collect.Also, the Trapster's look now involves him tying fabric around his head like he's a ninja.

Peter's ready to hunt Trapster down and do a little enhanced interrogation, but Stacy points out that kind of direct approach is what started this (he got physical with Norman.) I would argue that only proves he didn't get physical enough. He needed to tear Osborn's head off and drop kick it into a furnace. But fine, Peter will try and take advantage of Paste Pot's desperation.

MJ wasn't happy about Peter going out as Spider-Man with a price on his head, and the cold shoulder is in full effect as they cram for midterms at the university library. Peter tries to get her to talk about it, but MJ needs to study. Besides, Peter will just do whatever he wants, so what's there to talk about?

Peter tries again outside the library, now in the Dusk outfit he picked up in the Negative Zone, but he tells MJ he's doing this no matter what so, she was right. He's going to do what he wants. Maybe Peter needs to add a debate and rhetoric class to his course load. Also, MJ comments she sometimes thinks she'd be better off if she just didn't know about the secret identities and all that. Careful what you wish for and all that.

Elsewhere, Trapster's walking down the street, mulling over his wasted life (paraphrasing) when a mysterious figure grabs him by the scruff of his coat and quotes Terminator 2. Because the Shocker's looking to collect the price on Trapster's head. Stop laughing, he's serious! Seriously chunky, and I don't think it's just Romita Jr.'s tendency to bulk everybody up like they've been hitting the wheatcakes extra hard.

Despite doing a lot of darting out of the shadows to hit-and-run, Peter keeps running his yap like he always does. Leave it to Howard Mackie to not understand Peter was supposed to behave differently in the different costumes, in addition to acting differently. (He does do better in the next issue.)

The fight is a mess, in a bad way. It feels like Romita Jr. and Mackie aren't in sync. At one point, Dusk punches Shocker in the back of the head. On the next page, we get a long shot of Shocker seemingly alone on the trashed roof, but in the very next panel, he is, for some reason digging himself out from underneath rubble. Then there's what looks like a blast from his gauntlets, except it's from behind him and Romita adds little surprise lines around Shocker's head like he's being surprised. Then a small panel of Trapster looking, something, before Dusk sweeps over the Shocker again.

I think what's happening is, Peter knocks the wreckage on the left side of the first panel on top of Shocker in the second panel, and that's what he's blasting. There's a barely visible "Get over it!" on Shocker's shoulder in the middle of the 2nd panel, where they didn't put a speech balloon. That's probably Dusk's dialogue. 

Anyway, Shocker loses, Dusk stops Trapster from gluing the valves of his heart shut, says he's also someone Norman Osborn screwed over, and they should work together to get even. Look, even if this is not a particularly good example, I stand by my claim this Identity Crisis is better than Brad Meltzer's version. It's that low of a bar to clear.

{8th longbox, 52nd comic. Peter Parker: Spider-Man #91, by Howard Mackie (writer), John Romita Jr. (penciler), Scott Hanna (inker), Gregory Wright (colorist), Richard Starkings and Kiff Scholl (letterers)}

Random Back Issues #172 - The Spectre #57

This is the 8th issue of The Spectre to appear in Random Back Issues. God's loaded my dice.

Or maybe not, as the issue begins with Spectre finding the Pearly Gates busted open, and nothing behind them! No angels, no souls, no God. The Spectre and Jim Corrigan have been having their differences recently, but they both want to get to the bottom of this.

Corrigan suggests pounding the pavement, question some suspects. First to Limbo, where an extremely skeletal Deadman is hanging around, watching a bunch of shadows traverse a foggy canyon. Spectre explains God's missing, and Deadman busts a gut, to Spectre's displeasure. Deadman says his god, Rama Kushna, is still around, and he doesn't know the Spectre's God 'from spit,' but it ain't here.

Next stop, Hell. Two angels, Remiel and Duma, are running things, because Lucifer abdicated. Remiel is trying to reform Hell, make it a place souls are redeemed through torment. It's not going great. 'Whip them with love,' apparently being a difficult concept to get across. Duma is zoned out, ignoring Remiel to the point the latter considers murdering the former. 

Spectre kicks in the doors, wishing to speak with the Lord of Hell. Duma, finally showing some life, kneels before him and offers the Key to Hell. The Spectre barely resists, claiming he's no creature of Hell, which Remiel thinks is crazy talk. The Spectre can freely enter Hell, but not Heaven. Michael forced his compliance, and Spectre was given a Sisyphean task to complete, walk the Earth until evil is no more. Well, when you put it that way. . . God sounds like kind of a dick. Maybe it's good he's missing.

Or maybe not. When Spectre delivers the news, the demons go into a frenzy, calling him a liar and attacking him. Which does not go well, and makes the Spectre suspect Hell is behind it, until Remiel points out the demons are afraid. They exist in opposition to God, so if God's gone, will they cease to be? Oblivion terrifies even a demon. I guess Remiel never talked to Jason Lee's character in Dogma, since that guy preferred non-existence to Hell.

At a dead end, the Spectre departs, leaving Duma to cry over Michael's disappearance (I guess Duma loved Michael?), the demons to sulk back to their various fiery pits, and Remiel to remark that for the first time, he feels like he's truly in Hell.

Lucifer's enjoying retirement on a beach in Australia, watching the sunset. Must be nice to have a job that offered retirement benefits. He's unperturbed at Spectre's claim of God's absence, so Spectre sets out to question the pantheons of "lesser" gods. This will involve him barging into places he's not welcome and throwing his weight around like an asshole. Which could either be representative of Corrigan's style of police investigation, or the behavior of Christians throughout human history. Meanwhile, Lucifer sits on the beach, remarking the Spectre should have stayed and watched the sunset. 

{10th longbox, 70th comic. The Spectre #57, by John Ostrander (writer), Tom Mandrake (artist), Carla Feeny and Digital Chamelon (color artists), Todd Klein (letterer)}

Random Back Issues #171 - R.E.B.E.L.S. #21

I didn't even remember I had a "rebels" tag.

This is a transition issue, as Bedard wraps up loose ends from his "War of the Brainiacs" story and segues into the Green Lantern Corps becoming more hostile towards Vril Dox's L.E.G.I.O.N. The events are related via flashback, as two rookie Lanterns, Altin Admos (the blue guy) and Gorius Karkum (the lady with the tail), relate how their attempt to arrest Dox for not keeping Brainiac in custody backfired horribly.

They told Dox he was under arrest, he told them they had no authority, then Lobo attacked Gorius. Altin admits that because Okaarans love fighting, Lobo's a legendary figure. Gorius tries a containment bubble and Lobo just pushes through, but Altin clocks him in the face and then impales him with a, it can't be a trident, it has 4 points.

Whatever, he impales him, which is just gonna annoy Lobo, but impresses Dox enough he has his son Lyrl give us Altin's backstory. He's a fighting prodigy, who the Okaarans thought would lead them to new glory. Except he joined the GLC, and Dox thinks it's because the guy wanted a challenge. (How we're getting that narration when the Lanterns are the ones telling this story, I have no idea.)

Back to Altin, who's ducking and weaving, but Lobo eventually hits him. Then hits him a bunch more times. Gorius creates a bunch of chains, with apparently enough will behind them Lobo can't break free. So he grabs the chains and swing her into a wall. Altin wants to keep going, but Dox intercedes. From the safety of his force field bubble, because the man's not stupid enough to interrupt one of Lobo's fights otherwise. Dox explains Lobo's working for him to earn money to pay off debts incurred as an Archbishop in the church of the Triple-Fish God. Which I think was part of that storyline with Adam Strange, Starfire and Animal Man in 52? 

The Lanterns are unimpressed with Lobo's commitment to maintaining his credit rating, but now an entire L.E.G.I.O.N. task force showed up, along with news crews. At which point Dox makes the pitch how much better his company is than the Corps. L.E.G.I.O.N. will help rebuild a government, and they work for people who hire them, while respecting those planets' laws, unlike a certain group of blue assholes we all know, who hand out rings to brain-damaged fighter jocks and say "Go nuts!" Oooh, maybe that's a bad turn of phrase, given Hal Jordan's whole, ya know.

Eh, screw him. If he who is without the sin of trying to erase the entire timeline because he's too sad his city got blown may cast the first stone, then I'm set to start pitching.

Vril also takes some creative license by stating Lyrl helped him defeat Brainiac and Brainiac's weapon, Pulsar Stargrave. When really, Stargrave was an actual star Lyrl turned into some kind of super-computer weapon intending to steal all of Colu's super-computer information, only for Lyrl to get outflanked by Brainiac. But who's alive to say different? Not much of anyone that cares to, certainly, and the sales pitch worked, as Altin admits Vril got a dozen more client worlds in the week since the broadcast.

The Guardians state they would have handled Dox in their own way - frown disapprovingly? create a mechanized corps of robo-enforcers? oh wait, they already did that - but now they have a P.R. problem. Honestly hard for me to believe the Guardians even know what P.R. is, let alone care about it. But they're even angrier about what Gorius did to her own people, the Psions! Which was detailed the next issue, and involved Starfire, who had her own bad history with the Psions. 

{8th longbox, 234th comic. R.E.B.E.L.S. #21, by Tony Bedard (writer), Claude St. Aubin (penciler), Scott Hanna (inker), Rich and Tanya Horie (colorists), Travis Lanham (letterer)}

Random Back Issues #170 - Agent X #13

The guy in the lower right must be a carousel enthusiast.

Gail Simone's return to Agent X starts on a Portuguese cargo ship, where some of the crew decide to hassle an "unlisted" passenger, identity hidden beneath a cloak (and hidden by my clipping out the top quarter of that panel up there), who won't speak or drink with them. Apparently Portugal is big on being a cordial guest, because things rapidly move to them deciding to kill the passenger and steal his wallet.

They're interrupted by another guy wearing a (nicer) cloak and carrying a katana, who chops off one of the crew member's left toes and right fingers. He remarks he should have killed them, but seems to have developed an inconvenient conscience, as he removes his cloak and reveals. . .some guy you'd only recognize if you read Simone's extremely brief Deadpool run! We'll get to it.

Meanwhile, the star of the book, Alex Hayden, is moping in what remains of the amusement park he called home, after a bunch of guys tried and failed to kill him. One guy is left, the crier in the panel up there, and Hayden lays out all his recent screw-ups - sleeping with a best friend (Sandi), probably wrecking things with two women (Sandi and Outlaw), sleeping on a puke-stained Tilt-o-Whirl, the usual - before sparing the guy and remarking how inconvenient it is to develop a conscience. Lot of that going around, which is how you know this comic came out over 20 years ago.

Taskmaster showed up at some point with a job offer Sandi got them, and declines to discuss how he feels about Hayden sleeping with Sandi. The job involves playing chauffeur/bodyguard for Higashi, one of the leaders of the Four Winds, a mob that's had beef with Alex. Higashi also clearly has designs on Sandi, probably involving the bizarre trailer hitch he wears around his neck, and invited her along as a power play/dick move. Alex's attempt to pitch "smell novels for dogs," is interrupted by two girls on motorcycles trying to kill them and talking in, I guess broken English. Lots of, "am very happy to be killing you, tee hee," talk.

Alex loses a hand getting rid of an explosive-stuffed Hello Puppy, then gets kicked in the jaw and starts getting dragged alongside the limo, while Taskmaster tries to drive them to safety. Until Tasky gets shot in the arm and decides fleeing is for losers and slams on the brakes. Brief fight, they get Higashi to the big meeting, where he immediately accuses some guy with a man bun of sending the assassins and declares things settled between the Four Winds and Agency X.

Hayden's brief attempt to be the bigger man and not be jealous of Sandi possibly liking Higashi is rendered moot when she points out she wore a dress in Alex's favorite color. Good thing he didn't talk about this earlier, or he couldn't have complained about Higashi's hand placement so much while getting his ass kicked by giggling girls with pink Uzis!

After the party/conference, Sandi brought both Hayden and Taskmaster to her apartment to discuss being professional. What might be a good time for Hayden to mention he's shuttering the company is temporarily parked when Taskmaster notices the door's been tampered with. By the guy with the katana. Who turns out to be Black Swan, the telepathic assassin that was believed blown up with Deadpool! Except the non-responsive guy in the cloak is. . .Deadpool.

Who Alex immediately shoots in the forehead. To be fair, a commen response people have to seeing Deadpool.

{1st longbox, 20th comic. Agent X #13, by Gail Simone (writer), Alvin Lee and Udon (artists), Cory Petit (letterer)}

Random Back Issues #169 - Doctor Strange: Sorcerer Supreme #89

Dr. Strange is out of his head again. 

We're near the end of Strange's '90s ongoing series, a particularly tumultuous 30+ issues where his approach to magic and his look changed almost as often as his writers. An ongoing thread has been Wong's inability to let go of his beloved Imei, who died at some point. So Strange brought him to a place between Earth and the afterlife to say good-bye.

Then fucked off who knows where, leaving Wong floating alone in a swirling void of souls after he and Imei say their good-byes. Wong considers trying to enter the column of light that carries souls into eternity to follow her, but the living aren't allowed, Stephen reminds him, after Wong gets the bejeezus shocked out of him.

They return to Earth, to the Tempo building that housed the tech company a shade of part of Stephen's soul started during an earlier stretch of the aforementioned tumultuous run. Stephen was going to dismantle it, but changed his mind. Wong, who been swinging between being Stephen's pal and wanting to kill him, thanks Strange for helping him see Imei one more time. Strange, looking really damn goofy, is happy to have Wong's friendship again.

And then Stephen Strange bursts from his own skull like Athena from Zeus. He got ambushed something and nearly absorbed. The creature, which calls itself Afterlife, hates the living, but Stephen's too strong, so Afterlife decides to melt through the floor and go hunting. Strange, rather than give chase, summons the Eye of Agomotto to better understand his opponent.

By the time he catches up, Afterlife has stolen the energy of several people, and Strange's attempt to contain him in a field of 'white light, drawn down (at no small effort) from the seventh plane', doesn't seem to work, as its tongue punches through and tags him. Wong jumps in, trying to buy his friend time, and Stephen gets back on his feet. He and Wong use the magic deep in their souls, where they are highest and purest, and Afterlife changes into a gold cocoon.

It hatches, all the stolen energy return to its victims, and Afterlife is now some shiny golden thing. No, not a Super Saiyan, it's got butterfly wings and brown hair and is generally androgynous. Apparently it was an angel that used to walk the Earth helping those in pain, but prolonged exposure to all our crap poisoned it, and made it into Afterlife. It thanks them and disappears, having trashed the building. So much for keeping the business going.

Oh, and Victoria Montesi, who's been in some sort of slow-time bubble Strange made 30 issues ago so she wouldn't give birth to Chthon, is visited by someone who intends to speed the pregnancy along. See what happens when you put shit on the back burner, Strange? 

{4th longbox, 30th comic. Doctor Strange: Sorcerer Supreme #89, by J.M. DeMatteis (writer), Mark Buckingham (penciler), Kev Sutherland (inker), Kevin Somers (colorist), Jim Novak (letterer)}

Random Back Issues #168 - Batgirl #34

Like Batman hasn't been felt up by someone trying the, "sorry, didn't see ya there," trick before.

We got a kid coloring while his dad peers nervously through the peephole at someone pounding on the door. Dad asks his son if he forgives him. Kid says sure. The next page is a crime scene with two chalk outlines. Another weeknight in Gotham City.

Batman's nosing around with his flashlight, but Batgirl's fixated on the coloring book and the kid's chalk outline. She wants to help solve the murders, but Batman tells her she's not ready to be a detective. Does he explain what she's lacking? Of course not.

Next morning at the docks, someone tries to sell electronics with nothing inside. The buyer, blind or not, doesn't appreciate this. As the seller is hauled off, blind guy - called Ving - gets a call the, 'big, blind, furry eagle has landed!' as we see Batman busting heads in the background. Not sure why you wouldn't just say "Batman's here!" at that point. Cassandra's in the holographic training room Oracle has, still thinking about the dead kid. She punches the wall until her hands bleed. Then she punches some more. 

Meanwhile, Ving's assembled all his people and their merch at some warehouse, where they'll lay low for a week or two. This is how they intend to move into Gotham, hide in a panic room any time Batman starts sniffing around? Doesn't seem like that would work, since nobody could count on doing business with them. If you've got hot merchandise, are you going to sit on it until these guys poke their heads back out? But maybe they figure there's so many stupid crooks in Gotham there'll always be someone to deal with.

Irrelevant, though, 'cause when Ving opens the massive safe, Batgirl's inside. Then she's outside the safe, beating the dog mess out of at least thirty guys, while Ving stumbles around. Directly into Batman, who welcomes him to Gotham. When Ving protests it's impossible for them to have known, Bats replies everything's impossible until somebody does it, something Ving said earlier when one of his guys commented that they said it's impossible to move into Gotham. Clearly the guy only heard part of the sentence, it was actually impossibly stupid to move into Gotham. Forget Batman, you choose a warehouse that's name starts with "Two" and then you're dead.

Batgirl's waiting behind Ving, costume spattered with blood, and that's it for him. She wants to know who actually shot the kid. Batman squints at a hair he took from the crime scene and points at some guy that's already unconscious, then scrawls "DNA" on that poor schmuck's head in red marker as the cops arrive.

Cassandra's not satisfied, feeling they didn't do anything. Batman argues they caught the little boy's killer, and he'll face justice. Batgirl's response? 'Not enough.'  What about all the lives saved because these guys will be in jail? Still no. At which point Batman declares now she's ready to be a detective. I don't know, I feel like teaching her to read would be a helpful thing to tackle first. Also, Batman's a detective, and that didn't stop the murder from happening, which is what I think Batgirl really wants.

{2nd longbox, 112th comic. Batgirl (vol. 1) #34, by Kelley Puckett (writer), Daimon Scott (penciler), Robert Campanella (inker), Jason Wright (colorist), John Costanza (letterer)}

Random Back Issues #167 - Our Army at War #229

That is pretty much the only way I would end up in a leadership position, too.

Not quite an 80-page giant, because it's only 64 pages, this comic reprints 5 stories from the first half of the 1960s. Including one we saw an image from a few months ago, but we'll get to that.

Leading off, "Battle of the Sergeants," contrasts Sgt. Rock with Sergeant Krupp. The differences in their training - at one point Rock comments that they both went to "school", but learned different lessons. Krupp is hearing a speech about their superiority and how they will rule the world, Rock and the other GIs see a picture of people in concentration camps, and are told not to play big hero with them, because they already fought the Nazis - and how they look when they're done. Rock says Krupp looks like he just stepped out on parade, while Rock looks like the parade stepped out on him.

Krupp earns his stripes by playing to win, whatever it takes. Like pretending to be a wounded motorcycle courier, then blowing up an Allied tank that stops to help. Rock, well, see image at the top. Krupp loves his stripes, Rock just feels the weight of obligation. On his first patrol as a sergeant, they find a camouflaged base, but Krupp shows up in a weapons carrier before they can leave. Rock's unit gets steadily picked off until it's just him and Ice Cream Soldier, who gets shot by a pursuing fighter. So Rock starts carrying him, determined to get at least one guy back alive.

But Krupp's still on their tail, telling the halftrack to lay mortar fire in front of Rock, driving him back to them. Krupp wants to have fun, to the point he's mad when he thinks his prey were blown up. Doesn't seem to jibe with his "anything to win" attitude. Rock's not dead, and takes out the halftrack, but Krupp uses the smoke for cover. Out of ammo, Rock tries to lead him away, and gets his gun smashed, then shot. Which brings Krupp in close - he wants to gloat - where Rock can pull him down and handle things hand-to-hand. As he staggers away from the late Sergeant Krupp (now likely sporting a broken neck) and towards Ice Cream Soldier, Rock notes his stripes feel lighter with every step. Well, yeah, your sleeves are gone. 

Second, we have "The Mouse and the Tiger," where an Allied pilot is shot down in a snowstorm. He has intel about a Nazi surprise attack, and a broken leg that says he's not going anywhere under his own power. It's a race to reach him, a Nazi Tiger on one side, and what's probably a U.S. Stuart (the basis for the original Haunted Tank) on the other.

Both tanks come under fire from enemy aircraft, but in keeping with the title, the Stuka that attacks the mouse is called a "hawk", while the Mustang is dismissed by the Tiger as a "pigeon". The mouse survives because the Stuka's cannonfire sets the forest ablaze, and the pilot doesn't see some treetops through the smoke. The Tiger shrugs off the Mustang's machine guns and blasts it from the sky. Both arrive at the downed pilot, but the "mouse" can't get anywhere near close enough to actually hit the "tiger", let alone hurt it. Especially with its treads leaving a perfect trail in the snow. . .

Third is "The Fighting Blip", where an American "daylight" ace gets lost on a photo recon mission. At least he's got a belly tank of extra fuel. Too bad he's out after dark and comes under fire from a Nazi night fighter. The night fighter has radar, so the American can't get away no matter what he does. Unless he can give the enemy something else to shoot at. 

In "Two Men - One Hill!" Nazi and American paratroopers try to take a hill. Someone forgot to check the forecast, because high winds blow everyone far away, except one soldier from each side. The story plays up the gap in experience, as we're told Corporal Karl Schmid has 'planted his big boots on 20 battlefields - and never lost yet,' while PFC Andy Allen's boots, 'had only touched training fields.'

They land at the same time, the wind catching their parachutes and flinging them around until Schmid hits Allen's gun, breaking it so it hits Allen in the chin. Allen picks himself up and follows the trail, right to a narrow passage where Schmid is waiting. Allen takes one to the jaw and rolls over the edge. Schmid seems confident that's that, but still holes up in a tank they tried to unsuccessfully air-drop on the mountain. So when Allen, who caught a tree growing from a seam in the rock, hauls himself up and resumes the ascent, Schmid chucks a potato masher at him. Third time is the charm?

You know that's not how it works. Allen somehow dove for cover behind the tank - even though he's nowhere near it - they fight, and Allen's the one who crawls out of the tank. Good thing his buddies are just as tough. Woulda been awkward, him holding the hill and all those Nazis show up. 20 battlefields' of experience right there.

Finally, "Surrender Ticket!" Colonel von Kritz decides it will be a big propaganda win if they can subject some of these green GIs to such pressure they surrender without a shot. But he picked Easy Company as his target (the air recon photos are detailed enough you can see the stripes on Rock's helmet), so he's shit outta luck.

Kanigher keeps introducing some Easy Joe, then immediately kills them, then the airdrop of the "surrender tickets." So "Prince Charmin'" and his hair care routine interrupted permanently by Stuka dive bombers. As the temp rises and water runs low, the C.O. advises everyone save their canteens. Then an artillery barrage. The C.O. leads them out (at an oddly slow walk, isn't that a time to run?), then collapses because he was mortally wounded. Which leaves Rock in charge, as von Kritz insists they 'tighten the nutcracker on these G.I. peanuts!' Now really low on water, a couple of guys aren't willing to wait when two Tiger tanks perched on a ridge overlooking an oasis open fire. Rock catches the second (and threatens to shoot anyone else who tries), but one guy runs out there and gets killed. 

Alas, the Nazis filled in the oasis. Can't drink sand, and this time, some of the Joes don't toss their tickets. There's another waterhole ahead, one Rock assures the guys can't be filled up (doesn't say anything about whether it could be poisoned, though) while worrying about their morale. But good old Beanpole is always willing to lend a hand. Help a tired guy walk. Shoulder his rifle. Act as a human shield. Uh, about that last one. . .

Easy reaches the waterhole, but all of them, except presumably, Sgt. Rock, kept their surrender tickets last time. Which is what von Kritz was counting on, and the reason why the soldiers and tanks barring the path to the water aren't firing. Fed up, Rock grabs the bazooka and fires it at a tank, while running. (Probably the least accurate part is an American bazooka doing that to a Nazi tank in one shot.) He hits some quicksand, but that seems to spur everyone into action. Bulldozer runs up to act as loader, and some of the guys climb into the burning tanks to provide cover fire for the ones climbing the hill. Von Kritz's insistence the G.I.s must break is met with a punch in the mouth.

The kicker is Rock hands von Kritz a surrender ticket, admitting him to any American POW camp for the rest of the war. Boom! Roasted.

{8th longbox, 15th comic, Our Army at War #229. "The Battle of the Sergeants," by Robert Kanigher (writer), Joe Kubert (artist), Gaspar Saldino (letterer), colorist unknown. "The Mouse and the Tiger", by Ed Herron (writer), Ross Andru (penciler), Mike Esposito (inker), colorist and letterer unknown. "The Fighting Blip," by Bob Haney (writer), Jack Abel (artist), Saldino (letterer), colorist unknown. "Two Men, One Hill," by Haney (writer), Mort Drucker (artist), colorist and letterer unknown. "Surrender Ticket!" by Kanigher (writer) and Kubert (artist), colorist and letterer unknown.}

Random Back Issues #166 - Daredevil #356

When Sal Buscema's involved with the art, any object carries the force of a freight train. 

The issue opens with a gun to DD's head, while his caption box notes the day got off to such a good start. At this point, Matt and Foggy are working for famous lawyer (and Foggy's stepmom) Rosalind "Razor" Sharpe's firm. The client is Mr. Hyde, charged with murder and kidnapping of a woman named Angela Parish.

Hyde objects to the kidnapping charge, shattering the table in the prison visiting room. When Murdock points out that won't do much for a jury's opinion of him, Hyde says he just wanted to see one of them panic, and Foggy obliged. Hyde says there's a sealed letter in a PO Box from Angela, thanking him for keeping her locked up until she kicked her drug habit. So he couldn't have kidnapped her.

OK, first off, does Hyde change back to Dr. Zabo after a set amount of time, or does he require a potion to trigger that change? I've definitely seen Zabo change to Hyde by drinking something, but I'm not sure if it works the same both ways. Two, if the letter's never been opened, but he knows what's in it, how do you establish it wasn't written under duress? I guess you have to prove it was written under duress, innocent until proven guilty and all.

Matt and Foggy return to the office, where Karen Page is having a hard time dropping off a gift, because the receptionist is some scowly guy who was probably a Maggia enforcer. Matt and Karen retire to his office, with a lovely view of a brick wall, and Matt finds Karen got him a nice radio. A sign she got a job she really likes? Well, Karen won't commit to that yet. Give her a few days.. Not ominous at all.

Rosalind shows up, generally behaving like a dick. Calling Karen Matt's new secretary, bringing up Karen's rough past when she tried to be an actress. (Matt's putting up with this because Foggy really wants to work here, and Rosalind only hired them because of Matt. If he walks, Foggy's out on his butt.) Next up, a meeting with Liz Allen, currently running Osborn Chemicals (since Norman and Harry are both still dead at this point.) Angela was found in an Osborn warehouse, so Matt wonders if she was killed by someone connected to the Goblins. The warehouse was padlocked, but Liz points out Norman hid entrances into all his buildings.

As Foggy excuses himself for a call from his mother, a member of the moving crew tries to kill Rosalind. She got a senator's nephew off on a drunk driving charge, and six months later, Drunky killed the guy's sister. Matt knocks Rosalind clear, and the shooter is dropped with a fruit basket from the law firm's new neighbor, Misty Knight, hoping to make friends with the neighbors and get some work.

Which brings us back to page 1, as the person holding the gun is Misty, hired to find this secret entrance to help acquit Mr. Hyde. Misty wouldn't normally take the job, but Murdock being sure Hyde's innocent convinced her, and she doesn't think a person should be convicted for something they shouldn't do. Unfortunately, the warehouse is a mess after someone hired a Legacy Virus-infected Pyro to torch it, and he and Daredevil brought the place down.

Still, DD finds the hatch, I guess by his radar sense pinging off the odd shape, or it changed the acoustics in some noticeable way? He can't get it open, but Misty of the bionic arm can. Misty was hired to find the entrance, so her work's done, but the masked vigilante's is just beginning. Into the sewers he goes, where the tunnel is mostly collapsed, but there's silicon gel on the bricks. Could be Hyde's old partner, Cobra, but six hours of crawling through tunnels brings him to a room with several voices, including - Karen's?!

No, Karen Page's new job is not with the Enforcers, but they do have some new members. A contortionist named Snake Marston, who I've never heard of and DD thought was dead. The other, a guy named Hammer Harrision, a big mook with what looks like bricks strapped to his fists. Daredevil uses a nerve pinch to get loose of Snake and throw him into Hammer, in time for Ox and Montana to step in. Daredevil swipes Montana's lasso, but when he tries tying up Ox's wrists, he gets swung into a girder, then kicked by Fancy Dan.

The follow up karate chop hits the girder instead and gives Daredevil enough time to ask about Cobra. And get a bunch of confused and outraged responses in return. They aren't working for Cobra, but they do have one more new member. A guy that can also be slippery, and has electricity powers. Yep, it's the Eel. Please, no shocked gasps.

{3rd longbox, 96th comic. Daredevil #356, by Karl Kesel (writer), Sal Buscema (layouts, pgs. 1-13, 22-31), Cary Nord (penciler, pgs. 1-13, 22-31), Rick leonardi (penciler, pgs. 14-21), Matt Ryan (inker), Christie Scheele (colorist), Michael Higgins (letterer)}

Random Back Issues #165 - Guardians of the Galaxy #10

That's King Monkey-Face, to you, beardo. 

Last year, we looked at 3 issues of this series from around and after War of Kings. Here, the cast is still picking its way out of the mess Secret Invasion tie-ins caused, where it was revealed Star-Lord had Mantis telepathically nudge several members of the team into joining.

Given the roster, it's a miracle no one got stabbed, but Drax left to search for Cammi, Phylla-Vell in tow (they're not in this issue.) Earlier, the team fought the Universal Church of Truth, so Adam Warlock's decided to confront them, with Gamora. Warlock tells the "Matriarch" he's the messiah their religion foretells, and while she allows there is prophecy of a Warlock, how do they know it's him? Adam vows to prove himself by saving the universe from the "war of kings" his visions warn of, and departs.

This leaves the Matriarch with a conundrum: if Adam Warlock's out and about, who's in the cocoon the Church already has? Whoever it is, they don't appreciate the Matriarch touching the cocoon, but she still seems determined to have it opened as soon as possible. ('As soon as possible' won't be for over 10 issues, and it won't be her doing when it happens.)

Feeling guilty, Star-Lord went solo to investigate reports from Kree space and found them building a Babel Spire like the Phalanx had, as a potential defense. He objected, Ronan overruled, and Quill wound up dumped in the Negative Zone, into Blastaar's hands. Sorry, King Blastaar, busy trying to break into the prison Tony Stark and Reed Richards built, so he can invade their universe.

Quill agreed to negotiate with the prisoners (the guards fled through the portal and sealed it behind them.) He instead teamed up with former Captain America sidekick Jack Flag (in a wheelchair after Bullseye knifed him in the spine in Ellis' Thunderbolts) to try and get some help and keep Blastaar out. Unfortunately, one of the prisoners, Skeleton Ki, opened the prison gates, so Blastaar's inside and pissed at Quill. The Guardians - Rocket, Mantis, Major Victory, Groot, and Bug - tried to teleport to Quill's location, but the locator was in his helmet, which was he wasn't wearing. So they landed in the middle of Blastaar's army.

Quill and Flag are in the middle of fighting off three inmates they got into it with last issue when Mantis telepathically locates Quill and sends the coordinates to Cosmo, who beams them to Quill to make the save. Especially as King Blastaar Kool-Aid Mans through the wall just in time to watch the Guardians and Jack Flag teleport away. Still, Blastaar soon controls the prison, everyone either joining him or dying. On the joining side? Skeleton Ki, who is ordered to find a way to open that portal, or else.

(Abnett and Lanning never pay off Blastaar's anger at Quill saying he'll act as negotiator then immediately switching sides, but they also never did anything with any hard feelings about Mantis' continued presence on the team after her part in Star-Lord's manipulations.)

Later, the Guardians visit Earth to tell Reed Richards and a couple of those dickheads from the Initiative comic (the soldier with the bionic arm who always ran down the New Warriors, and the literal Nazi mad scientist) to never open the portal. None of the Earthers seem all that impressed by Star-Lord's explanation they're the Guardians of the Galaxy. Reed should at least know Mantis and have some idea who Major Victory is, right? Ben Grimm teamed up the with OG Guardians, and the future New Warrior version of Vance is Ben's buddy. Then again, Quill refers to them as the "Fabulous Four," so there's disrespect and ignorance flying all directions.

Back in Knowhere, a doctor fixed Jack's spine with space medicine, but he's got nowhere to go, seeing as he's a criminal on Earth, and hates 'cosmic stuff.' So he joins the team. And Major Victory visits the Starhawk (not one he knows) the team captured a few issues ago, who keeps speaking of an 'error' that signals the end of everything.

{5th longbox, 91st comic. Guardians of the Galaxy (vol. 2) #10, by Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning (writers), Brad Walker (penciler), Victor Olazaba and Livesay (inkers), Wil Quintana (colorist), Joe Caramagna (letterer)}

Random Back Issues #164 - Batgirl #63

New city, but Cassandra's managed to find another older redhead encouraging her to have fun. 

It's been a hot minute since we've looked at Cassandra Cain's first book (almost six years!) In the aftermath of the garbage fire that was War Games, Batgirl is operating in Bludhaven, and has been messing with the Penguin (who moved in after Blockbuster was killed, I think in the pages of Nightwing.) Enough so, Cobblepot approaches a quartet of shadowy figures - (Alexander) Luthor's Society of Super-Villains, because we're in the run-up to Infinite Crisis - about getting rid of her. Specifically, he asks Deathstroke if he wouldn't mind handling it, describing it as a 'feather in your cap.'

Let's maybe keep Deathstroke away from underage girls, shall we? 

In the meantime, Cassandra's completed a morning workout routine she's done since childhood, though she changed the ending to where she doesn't decapitate the final dummy. Heading out to get a coffee from the shop near her loft, she overhears Brenda, the owner, talking about how the Wayne Foundation got her a grant to help her keep her store, and she's hosting a big party to celebrate. Brenda invites Cass, who demurs, claiming she needs to work tonight.

After thanking Batman for helping Brenda, and being warned the Penguin is looking for new alliances (see above paragraph), Cass decides to attend the party. But what to wear? Cass hasn't been to a party before, minus that cruise Barbara took her on 20 issues ago where Cass encountered Superboy. She tries a dress skirt and jacket that make her look like a mid-40s real estate agent for some firm in a small Midwestern town, but correctly notes it's no good, and makes some modifications.

Brenda seems to like it, but Cassandra is more interested by the mosh pit, and possibly some boy she sees bouncing around. Party Time is interrupted by an explosion and fire at the neighbor's across the street and Batgirl is soon Kool-Aid-Manning through a wall - to find Deathstroke holding Mrs. Brauenstein by the throat, Mr. Brauenstein already dead at his feet.

Batgirl asks 'stroke to put the woman down, so he breaks her neck and drops her. The fight is on! This is what got me to hunt down that issue of Nightwing discussed in Sunday Splash Page. While it's more involved here, Deathstroke is played as being in control. Within the first page he's shot a hole in her cape, shot off one of the cowl's ears, and gotten her to dodge a shot that took out a pillar and dropped the ceiling on her. Batgirl's monologue describes his body's movements as like a choir. 'Many different voices. All at once. But singing too fast. Too loud. The message is lost. Until it's too late.'

Batgirl escapes before the house collapses, the chase moving to rooftops. Noting Slade's deliberately moving slow, she opts to change the game, passing up an chance to attack, instead vaulting him and running, to an old churchyard. Deathstroke tangles her legs with a net, but she's able to pin his sword between her legs and kick him in the chops, cutting herself free as he gets hold of the net. There's a bit of flipping around before things end up with Batgirl pointing Deathstroke's sword at his face. But he knows she won't kill. And that's fine, because this is really a test for his daughter Rose, aka the Ravager!

Batgirl will handle that, but Deathstroke eventually uses Chemo to blow up Bludhaven and drugs Cassandra into taking over the League of Assassins (thanks Geoof Johns and Adam Beechen, you hacks!) But Deathstroke will also lose a fight to Green Arrow, so it's not all wine and roses for that creep.

{2nd longbox, 70th comic. Batgirl (vol. 1) #63, by Andersen Gabrych (writer), Ale Garza (penciller), Jesse Delperdang and Andrew Pepoy (inkers), Wildstorm FX (colorists), Pat Brosseau (letterer)}