What I Bought 6/2/2025 - Part 3

My boss went on vacation middle of last week, through the end of this week. I have been tapped as interim boss, which has largely meant more data entry and dealing with e-mails and phone calls. If it wasn't on top of all the usual madness (or if I was better at delegating, assuming there was anyone available to delegate to) it wouldn't be too bad. As it is, it sucks. Somebody else can take this on the next time he goes on vacation. There's gotta be someone stupid enough to want to actually pursue a leadership role.

Metamorpho: The Element Man #6, by Al Ewing (writer), Steve Lieber (artist), Lee Loughridge (colorist), Ferran Delgado (letterer) - For some people, the sun truly does smile upon them. May those people all burn in its unrelenting heat.

Metamorpho's on his way to the Sun! Solaris, the Rogue Sun, that is, who plans to unleash a storm to push humanity back to the Stone Age! If that means I never have to hear about crypto or "AI" ever again, it might just be worth it. But Rex doesn't agree, so he's going to fly into Solaris, convert his body to Staggium, a superdense element Stagg created that will cause a chain reaction in the core and blow Solaris up. Leaving the Solar System minus the "solar", but small potatoes.

The plan doesn't work, and Metamorpho is narrowly saved from disintegration by Prince Ra-Man's sun, who is willing to give a Rex another chance to win. Because Solaris cheated by fighting a Metamorpho 1 million years in his past. Cue a, flashback, a vision, something of how the fight would have gone in the 853rd Century, which Lieber draws in a parody style of some Golden Age hero I remember being on the cover of a book about bizarre Golden Age heroes.

Why you do that when drawing a fight set way in the future, I don't know. Also, Lieber is incredibly inconsistent about where Solaris is. Why do you need a spaceship if he's hanging out right above your building? Point is, Rex gets one more chance to challenge Solaris, with the power of DC 1 Million Metamorpho, but minus the knowledge of how to best use it. And he only gets the power long enough to change into something once. Rex figures it out, becomes a new Sun, absorbs Solaris, and that's that. Unless the readers write in demanding more Metamorpho!

Eh, I could take it or leave it. It was fun, but Ewing may have started a few too many threads. Which did have the effect of making this last issue feel really stuffed, as he and Lieber try to cover a lot of ground in 20 pages. It's hard for me to picture Solaris running a secret criminal organization, though. That felt out of left field in that sense, even if its inclusion fit nicely with all the "solar champion" stuff. 

The Surgeon #5, by John Pence (writer), Omar Zaldivar (artist), Hedwin Zaldivar and Trisha Mariscal (colorists), Taylor Esposito (letterer) - What, they haven't figured out how to rebuild umbrellas in your post-apocalypse?

Hanover wakes up a prisoner of Chief Long, who turns out not to be interested in her spiking opium, but in the fact that someone is actually producing new supplies of pre-apocalypse medicine. The Hot Animal Machines have a line on it, but they deal in children they abduct to get it. So Chief Long would as soon wipe them out. Hanover agrees to help, and also to treat the guy that came to the fort to warn them of the Hot Animal Machines a few issues ago.

Then she treats the guy (Little Bird), and the two of them bail on everyone else. Then he seduces her, or they fuck, whichever, and he steals her sword and her horse. The whole thing was proving himself as a warrior ("touch an enemy without killing them"). Which leaves her sans transportation, sans weapon, possibly sans pants (or she was in too much a hurry to futilely chase him.) And she ditched a lot of people.

Where that leaves the book with one issue to go, I have no idea. I guess she could go back to the fort, hat in hand (if she still has a hat.) The scientist guy seemed kind of pissed, but the blacksmith pointed out she fulfilled her end of the deal. But I think she's got too much pride for that. Little Bird seemed to prove his point, don't envision him coming back to kill her. The Hot Animal Machines (whatever is left of them) are gonna have problems with Chief Long's group, and vice versa. So what's left for Hanover to do? Find some pants?

What I Bought 5/5/2025 - Part 1

I saw a list yesterday of alleged Millenial things that Gen Z find cringe. Based on the age range the article provided, I'm a Millenial, but there was not one thing on the list I do or was ever interested in. Taking pictures of my food? Harry Potter? The phrase "adulting"? The fuck outta here with that nonsense.

Anyway, here's two 5th issues to kick off our run through the remainder of April's books.

Dust to Dust #5, by JG Jones (writer/artist), Phil Bram (writer), Jackie Marzan (letterer) - I feel like the report really looks based on Cate Blanchett on the cover. Which is not necessarily true inside the book. Maybe it's just the eyes and brow ridge.

The sheriff visits the moonshiners to accuse them of killing that family. His evidence is that they have the family's mule. His attempt to collect the evidence gets him beat down, and he's only saved because the mysterious gas mask wearer (or a gas mask wearer, I suppose there could be more than one) blew up the still. Then kills the moonshiners and lugs the sheriff's unconscious body to the rainmaker's truck and leaves him there.

Meanwhile, the reporter agrees to take photos for the mayor's daughter's bridal shower (unlikely to happen since I suspect her ballplayer boyfriend is dead now), and in payment, she wants to do a feature on the town. Not on people abandoning it, oh no, on the resilience of the town under difficult circumstances. Whether that's bullshit or not, taking the photos gets her access to a darkroom, where she can develop the photos she took when out with the sheriff, confirming there was a gas can alongside the burned up car. Sure hope the sheriff is in any condition to make use of this information! 

Jones mostly only breaks the sepia tone for blood, or the fire of the still blowing up. The lone exception is the panel of Sarah in the darkroom, done entirely in shades of red. It's also the panel where she sees the sheriff was right about the gas can, which makes it significant in at least one sense.

It's hard to tell whether the sheriff's little dust-up and the reporter's chat with the mayor happened concurrently or not. I'm guessing they did, which would alibi him for the murders out at the still. Which seems to point the finger back around at his brother, the PTSD-afflicted veteran. I'm still wondering about the drugs the mayor gave his brother, though. Were they to help him sleep, or wind him up? The mayor's clearly still in image control mode.

Metamorpho the Element Man #5, by Al Ewing (writer), Steve Lieber (artist), Lee Loughridge (colorist), Ferran Delgado (letterer) - Nice of Metamorpho to let his guest stars have the more dynamic poses.

The (artificial) Thunderer helpfully explains that stars used to fight for dominance, but the eventual winner of their great contest decreed it was too dangerous to their worlds. So each star would have proxies who could fight in their stead. Of course, the losing star gets destroyed, so I'm not sure how that's an improvement, but the point is, the Orb of Ra is how Earth's Sun empowers its champions.

Metamorpho shows up about then, but even with Urania's help, he seems outclassed, so he retreats. To recruit Element Woman(?) and the dog that got Metamorpho powers in The Terrifics, and then his old enemy Algol shows up. Metamorpho's enemy I mean, not the dog's. Although maybe Muttamorpho's been having super-cool adventures all his own, and we just haven't seen them. It could happen! Of course, the first two aren't happy about being sidelined all this time - the gag about Element Woman not knowing how to turn into lead when the Justice League fought Red Kryptonite Man got a chuckle - but at least Algol understands what's going on. Apparently the instruction manual for being a Solar Champion got thrown out at some point.

Which is too bad, because it would have kept Metamorpho from goofing. Battles between proxies are 1-on-1, so the Thunderer can defeat any of them and claim victory. While this raises the question of why there can be more than one proxy at a time if only one can fight at a time, the important thing is the Thunderer disintegrates Algol's head. At least he didn't hurt the dog.

But now Rex will never have the chance to make things right with Sapphire! I mean, the Sun is doomed! Doomed to be overtaken by the leader of C.Y.C.L.O.P.S., Solaris, the Tyrant Sun. I'm not sure how it was running an evil organization when it needed the Sun to collapse to exist, but I guess intelligent, evil stars can multi-task more efficiently than humans.

What I Bought 4/1/2025 - Part 2

This is apparently the biggest week of April for new comics I wanted, and 4 of them are either Marvel or DC, so I swung by the local shop Wednesday. Nothing. This is why I've taken to stopping on the drive home, where before I would walk there from home and back. Why waste the 30+ minutes each way to come back empty-handed?

Here's two fourth issues from last month.

Dust to Dust #4, by J.G. Jones (writer/artist), Phil Bram (writer), Jackie Marzan (letterer) - I don't think enormous busts of plague doctors are going to bring the tourist dollars to a Dust Bowl-afflicted Oklahoma town.

We learn what's the deal with the little girl the sheriff supposedly got killed. Or a version of that story. The sheriff was too drunk to get the APB about a girl abducted by a drifter, so when said girl runs into his office, he sends her off with her "uncle" when the man catches up. There's no pretense by Bram or Jones that the mayor is giving the reporter the real dope, as we're told the sheriff claims someone cracked him in the skull with a broom, as we're shown a panel of him being cracked in the skull with a broom.

Also, someone hung the drifter. I'm clear on whether off a water tower or the underside of a bridge above a dry creek, the art being somewhat unclear.

Amid all that, a fireworks display goes off, but it's really a couple of guys with their rainmaker device trying to draw eyeballs, but mostly drawing the ire of the local snake-charmer preacher. Then the moonshiners drive by, with the murdered farmers' mule in the back of their truck. So now the sheriff is eyeballing them. Meanwhile, Bobby the local hotshot ballplayer (who is engaged to the mayor's daughter) is doing a little fooling around with the preacher's daughter in the old hay loft. And that's when the weirdo in the gas mask shows up.

As regular readers of this blog know, I'm bad at solving mysteries, but what the hell. I think it's the mayor. Got a brother that came back from the war (could have brought a gas mask), and he dopes the brother up on a heck of a cocktail of drugs to get him to sleep. His brother was also sweeping the street in the panel before the sheriff got conked on the head. The dead included a family that was bailing on their mortgage (and the town the mayor's so determined to save), and now Gas Mask is catching the mayor's future son-in-law fooling around.

I guess it could be the brother; I don't know what all those drugs would actually do him. But that feels like it would still require someone to aim him at targets. Unless there's going to be some reveal that the guy's only sometimes completely freaked out and nervous about everything, and other times he's a calculating killer.

Metamorpho #4, by Al Ewing (writer), Steve Lieber (artist), Lee Loughridge (colorist), Ferran Delgado (letterer) - Attack the Block (of sterile, monotone, corporate hegemony.)

The first half of the issue is spent explaining how Stagg's building came to life. Namely, in a fit of pique to show Metamorpho how lucky he was to be cleaning up Stagg's messes, Stagg asks his A.I. to make him something better than Metamorpho. Which apparently triggered some fail-safe that Mad Mod initially put into the computer, and which Mister 3 awoke during his break-in. All of this triggered some "Doom Protocol" Stagg created, where the building would evacuate from danger, along with everyone inside.

Which actually isn't the worst idea, except for all the buildings getting stomped in the process. Ah, well, they're probably empty, and now the land can be bought up by Stagg and repurposed into a statue garden of himself. I mean, used to build affordable housing to revitalize the downtown!

Element Girl and Java break into the tower and manage to shut the computer down. Metamorpho's contribution is to make himself rubber and inflate into a giant punch-clown to keep the building busy. Eh, it's a living. But maybe not for much longer, because the computer finished creating something better than Metamorpho, and that's a recreation of the tiny world-destroyer he fought long ago, The Thunderer!

I'm not surprised Ewing's bringing back the old foes, but I didn't except him to pick the biggest (in a figurative sense) baddie of all. Still, most of this issue is Stagg being a vainglorious dumbass. Ewing and Lieber are teetering right on the line between it being funny and infuriating. When Stagg has a 2-page fantasy of being saved by "Metamorpho II" from some 'lurking ne'er-do-well' who addresses him in a disrespectful manner, that's funny. Less so when the imaginary groveling Java promises to stop whining about Stagg having the femur of Java's wife on display. There's buffoonery, cartoonish super-villainy, and just being a dickhead, and that falls into the third category.

Can Stagg's son come back from Gotham and kill the bastard properly this time?

What I Bought 2/26/2025

Beautiful 70-degree day, but I spent it all inside for a safety training. Interminable, not helped by the fact I usually take off early on Fridays. I don't think I've worked a full Friday in at least 18 months, and that was spent driving (back from a different training). Last full Friday in the office was probably 6.5 years ago.

February: always finding new ways to mess with me.

Fantastic Four #29, by Ryan North (writer), Cory Smith (penciler), Oren Junior (inker), Jesus Arbutov (color artist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - Whose bright idea was it to shrink down to fight Doom? Hank Pym's? Well, that tracks.

Doom's running the world. Bummer. Sue is bummed, so Ben takes her to New York to hang out with She-Hulk. Talk inevitably turns to Doom, and so I learn that Doom's gotten popular support by inciting hatred against the people turned into vampires during Blood Hunt. Also that whatever is letting vampires go out in daylight was reducing the need for blood, but that's wearing off.

The heroes utterly fail to protect a couple of parents from a wannabe vampire slayer, which leaves them with two vamped, and increasingly hungry, kids to protect. Reed discovers a plant-based substitute for blood that you can make in your own kitchen! I'm disappointed Ryan North didn't include a recipe. Now what am I supposed to do the next time I lose too much blood throwing myself off cliffs? Seek professional medical treatment?

Sue feels a little better about being able to help people in at least some way, and that with vampires not needing blood, Doom won't be able to use them as a scapegoat. Which is wildly optimistic, given human nature. Now it'll be how nobody else can afford whatever the ingredients are because the damn vamps are buying it all up! Assuming people even bother to adjust the particular bullshit they base their stupidity on. And, indeed, the FF's neighbors are now rocking a yard full of Doom flags (although the symbol looks more like something I expect from the Covenant in Halo.)

Metamorpho the Element Man #3, by Al Ewing (writer), Steve Lieber (artist), Lee Loughridge (colorist), Ferran Delgado (letterer) - I feel like Lara Croft would have fit the vibe Java and Rex are rocking better than the Bride. Lara's British, she toes the archaeology/grave robbing line.

Rex is making a big production of leaving Sapphire, complete with packing his sailor suit(?) and Crocs (really, Rex?), only to get instantly sidetracked when Urania shows up looking for Java to take on a mission. Urania's got a line on Mad Mod (thanks to his lack of respect for clearly labeled food in the fridge), and it's a temple built by Vandal Savage. hence Java.

Anyway, Rex sneaks along, and after Java gets separated from them, has to find a way for he and Urania to get inside. Which Lieber draws as a giant maze, with a few larger chambers to showcase traps and sight gags and whatnot. Meanwhile, Java's having a conversation with Vandal Savage, which Ewing uses at first to highlight differences in their perspective. Java remains focused on the future, Savage, seems more beholden to his past.

Then it turns into a discussion of all the stuff that went on in The Terrifics - Stagg dying, Java being Doc Dread - and the fact Java apparently remembers none of this. I really hope Ewing's not planning to get really meta about this. The Orb of Ra as some representation of characters constantly being melted back down to their base elements and built back up in vaguely familiar forms. Or something.

Savage turns out to be an exploding robot, everybody escapes together, but now Stagg's gone and done something stupid again.

What I Bought 2/1/2025 - Part 1

I was at my dad's over the weekend, so as usual, we were going to watch some older movies. Pity the DVDs didn't want to cooperate. His copy of Black Moon Rising had a crack in it. The copy of Brass Target I bought him for Christmas - a new copy mind you, still in the plastic wrapping - locked up about halfway through.

Oh well, at least his truck is running again - finally, meaning he has two vehicles old enough to drink to rely on instead of one - and we got the fencing up  in the back yard like he wanted.

Metamorpho: The Element Man #2, by Al Ewing (writer), Steve Lieber (artist), Lee Loughridge (colorist), Ferran Delgado (letterer) - Metamorpho's turned his torso into a glow rod, if you were wondering. Seems like having it actually glow would have sold that a little better.

Sapphire's music career is dwindling because of new singer, Sugar Sweet. Who turns out to be a robot Mad Mod made for Simon Stagg by using AI to combine whatever is trending on social media. Yet Sugar doesn't seem to be spouting a lot of Nazi crap. Strange. It's a dual move by Stagg to both make money and tank his daughter's dreams so she has to run the company some day.

The plan falls apart when Sapphire, in a dual move to get her name of people's lips and make Urania look bad, leaks some security footage of she and Urania arguing earlier in the issue. Unfortunately, this means Mod's algorithm picks up the interest in superheroes and in destroying them, so Sugar becomes a warbot (with a dorky hat, but it's all nostalgia for something we never knew, baby) and tries to kill the Element Team. The attempt fails, thanks to the explosive power of glucose, but when Rex learns the warbot was the result of Stagg's greed and Sapphire's ambition, he decides he's leaving.

On the run, Mad Mod calls Vandal Savage for help hiding out. Which seems random, but I guess it's all to set up Savage and Java being old acquaintances and meeting up next issue. Which I guess makes sense. Why shouldn't the two cave-guys know each other? Though it seems irrelevant if Metamorpho's taken a powder.

Calavera P.I. #3, by Marco Finnegan (writer/artist/colorist), Jeff Eckleberry (letterer) - Shooting religious icons has to be some sort of sin. Or is it exempt under the no graven images rule? Or maybe it's exempt under the, "I'm trying to shoot the skeleton detective, but my aim sucks," rule.

My concerns that everyone was being cavalier about the ticking clock are apparently unnecessary. The clown in the van (as in, a guy dressed as a clown is in the van) is driving away slowly enough for Calavera, Maria and her cop husband Mike to argue in the middle of the street until Maria makes a random car stop and commandeers it for her and the skeleton.

They're smart enough to not just drive right into the trap, but their attempt to sneak in the back through the woods fails. Maria escapes, but apparently shooting a skeleton with a machine gun is more effective than stabbing him. I guess if you shatter enough bones he can't move. Maria returns to her office, but Mike failed to round-up any officers for back-up. Because they're all busy hounding and arresting Mexicans right now. Well, you know, priorities and all. Brutalize and intimidate, that's the motto.

OK, so here's the odd part of the issue. The person behind all this is the woman who killed Calavera. She wears a red dress that seems brighter when she gets less human, and a veil across her face that sometimes makes it look like her face has cracks and fractures running across it. She's not engineered this to bring Calavera back out of guilt. No, she wanted to die and be reunited with her son and he stopped her. But she met a scientist who thought he could give her what she wanted, and he'd accomplish his dream of. . .bridging the divide between the worlds of living and dead. It hasn't worked so far, but having a walking dead man is somehow the missing piece.

So, the whole plan hinged on the notion Calavera could, in fact, rise from the dead for one night? In that case, why have they just been watching and trying to lure him into this trap instead of jumping him the moment he stepped out of his grave? And how is the rich bastard Calavera busted for human trafficking in issue 1 - who turns out to be the clown - involved in this? He wanted revenge badly enough to buy into a cockamamie plan like this? It's all so odd, I'm not sure the final issue can pull this thing together.

What I Bought 12/28/2024

On my way home from my dad's, I managed to find two of the three comics from last week I wanted. It'll probably be early next week before I get the other one (plus the other two books from the last month I want), so we're probably looking at mid-January for the Year in Review posts.

Metamorpho: The Element Man #1, by Al Ewing (writer), Steve Lieber (artist), Lee Loughridge (colorist), Ferran Delgado (letterer) - I was going to make a comment about whether there's significance in Rex's seemingly having burned silver on the periodic table, but instead I'll note when I typed into google to confirm what element is between palladium and cadmium, their "AI Overview" nonsense - which was, of course, the first result - told me there was no such element. Fucking useless.

Metamorpho fights Mister 3, who can switch between 3 states of matter, including replicating the Orb of Ra, which is bad news for Metamorpho and the Element Girl, who shows up to help out. I've never understood why the Orb, which gave them their powers, also cancels those same powers. I suspect Bob Haney didn't have an answer to that question either.

Mr. 3's defeated, but he's working for some group with unknown goals that involve Metamorpho, so that's the problem the cast will have to face. And it's somehow related to Prince Ra-Man defeating some guy named Helio in a world with two suns. Well, it had two suns until the fight ended, then one of them blew up. I'm assuming a piece of it landed on Earth as the Orb of Ra.

Ewing and Lieber are definitely trying to mirror the style of the original, '60s Metamorpho series. The opening splash page has the little cast of character scroll down the side, Metamorpho says things like, "Maybe 'cause he's a gas, gas, gas," and Mister 3 calls him "Fab Freak." Java's constantly, openly pining for both Sapphire's love and Metamorpho's death.

Lieber's art doesn't have the fluidity of Ramona Fradon's, Metamorpho certainly doesn't get as creative with his transformations, although Lieber does work the element's symbol into the transformation a couple of times. One of the graphite skates Rex creates being in the shape of "Gr", for example. He does make the effects of the Orb more horrible-looking however, as Metamorpho's outer covering melts away until you can see his skull underneath. Feels a little at odds with the "groovy" aesthetic Ewing's going for, but maybe they're doing '60s style adventures through a body horror lens.

Dust to Dust #1, by JG Jones (writer/artist), Phil Bram (writer), Jackie Marzan (letterer) - Damn, that truck's transmission fluid is contaminating the town's aquifer!

This issue is basically establishing setting. It's the Dust Bowl in Oklahoma in 1935, which means it's also the Great Depression. Farmers are pulling up stakes and heading for California, leaving behind places where things won't grow and there's no water to be found. There's a sheriff, who likes to read, and also likes to drink moonshine. The moonshine's made by a particular family of assholes, who like to pick on a WWI vet with PTSD. There's a photographer from Chicago in town, looking for anything that might work as a newspaper feature. There is, of course, one guy who owns most of the town and expects to get everything he wants.

The child of one of the departing families found a part of a human jawbone and gave it to the sheriff, but the sheriff's not made any move towards figuring that out yet. The sheriff is reading a book on Irish fairy tales by Yeats. The photographer keeps a rifle in her car. The local big shot isn't happy about these farmers leaving when they still owe him mortgages damn it. I assume any or all of that will become relevant at some point, but how and when, no clue.

Jones keeps the book in washed out color. Really highlights the desolate nature of the place, makes the ribs on the farmer's mule stick out. Without much color - there's a little, in a couple of panels - the eye isn't necessarily pulled anywhere. So you just kind of drift over the panel, taking in the faces of these people. The few smiles - mostly the photographer - the scowls, the desperation. Although it mostly made me notice the extent of the sheriff's stubble varies widely from one panel to the next. From a beard to appearing almost clean-shaven. We'll see if Jones adds more color as things accelerate, drawing attention to certain things (or maybe away from other things.)

Saturday Splash Page #106

 

"False Advertising," in Superior Foes of Spider-Man #4, by Nick Spencer (writer), Steve Lieber (artist), Rachelle Rosenberg (color artist), Joe Caramagna (letterer)

Released during, as the title suggests, the Superior Spider-Man era, Superior Foes of Spider-Man revolves around a bunch of second-tier (at best) Spider-Man enemies, trying to pull off big scores as the "Sinister Six." Bullcrap. You've got Boomerang, a Beetle, Speed Demon, and the Shocker. They're the Sinister Syndicate! Spider-Ock never appears. Actual Spider-Man appears only in flashback, although Boomerang is revealed in the last issue to be telling this whole story to a guy named "Peter".

That Boomerang is narrating (those are his purple caption boxes) is important to keep in mind, because otherwise you'd be wondering how a guy who once thought trick boomerangs made him a match for the Incredible Hulk was managing to out-maneuver so many people. Once you allow for ~90% of it being bullshit, everything makes more sense. This was not something I managed to keep in mind when I was buying the comic as it came out, so I'd get annoyed at how often Boomerang would seem to skate clear or danger, or how Shocker got treated as the pathetic joke. You gotta have better villains on the team than this crew for that to be accurate.

Which is not to say Boomerang doesn't get made to look like a fool on more than one occasion. He has a humiliating run-in with Bullseye, the Chameleon freaks him out by impersonating the Punisher, and his own crew chucks him out. So he anonymously sics Luke Cage and Iron Fist on them, to teach them a lesson.

The book is really one long caper flick, with all the double-crosses, triple crosses, fakeouts, and surprise reveals you would expect. Spencer gets a lot of run out of characters being able to impersonate other people, or just the general weirdness that would exist in the Marvel Universe. The decapitated (but still functional) head of Silvermane is involved. An alleged painting of Doom's uncovered face is involved. A support group for super-villains trying to go straight in involved.

The book involves a lot of panels of characters arguing, talking, threatening, that sort of thing. Lieber's good at body language and expressions, giving Boomerang an air of undeserved arrogance. He throws in voice balloons with little pictographs as shorthand for whatever the characters are thinking about. Works well with the body language to flesh out the characters. Especially since the Beetle in this book was a new character, and I don't think Overdrive got much depth when he was introduced in Brand New Day. Or maybe he did, I didn't read the issues where he appeared.

Lieber keeps the layouts straightforward for the most part, though there are a couple of nice set-ups when the Syndicate storm someone's hideout and Lieber draws it as a cross-section of all the various rooms of death they're having to fight through. Not Boomerang of course, he sent them in the hard way while he took an elevator. Again, it's hard to believe he managed this without the others killing him, but he's telling the story, so things probably didn't go the way he says, if it happened at all.

I started buying Superior Foes in late 2013, the same time as the Duggan/Posehn Deadpool, in the early stages of a stretch where I bought more stuff from Marvel than I had since 2007. The book double-shipped a couple of times, relying on fill-in artists. Those were, unsurprisingly, the weakest issues, but Marvel just can't help itself. Superior Foes ended in late 2014, after 17 issues, not even surviving long enough to die in the mass kill-off of the line for Hickman's Secret Wars.

Spencer went on to make Boomerang Peter Parker's roommate during his run on Amazing Spider-Man, but I didn't read it, so who knows how that went. The new Beetle's gotten some limited run, though she doesn't seem to get treated with much respect. You'd think a skilled (and unscrupulous) lawyer, who is also a super-villain with a suit of powered armor, who is also the apple of her terrifying mob boss father's eye, would get played up a little more.

Random Back Issues #119 - Superior Foes of Spider-Man #17

"I wouldn't be part of any baseball team that would have me, but certainly not the Mets."

The last issue, where Boomerang reveals all his cards, what all his manipulation, backstabbing, stealing and scheming has been about: to impersonate the rookie sensation about to break his strikeout record via the Chameleon's appearance-altering serum. So that, really, he'll be breaking his own record. Or something.

Fred Myers is kind of a moron, even by the standards of boomerang-themed comic book villains.

But how can Boomerang be doing this, when he's simultaneously getting his ass kicked by, honestly, I forget which crime boss' goons these are. Chameleon's or the Owl's, probably. Well, Boomerang's been using the serum for a bit to set-up Mach-VIII. Planting a tracer on him while disguised as a cop, drugging his food while impersonating a waitress, asking him to meet, then slipping him the serum after he passes out so he'll assume Boomerang's appearance through skin contact. Quite how that changes his costume, I have no idea.

Boomerang calls the bartender he's been (mostly unsuccessfully) wooing through the series, to apologize for offering her as a victim to Bullseye to save his neck, and ask for a second chance. Also, he has this incredibly valuable painting of Doom's unmasked face, so in baseball parlance. . .trade affection for cash considerations?

Since we've been told Boomerang's crew has the painting, Boomerang explains how Mirage faked out everyone by stealing the painting and letting Chameleon catch one of his duplicates with a fake, while the real Mirage brings the real painting to Boomerang. Who then pushes him off a roof. But this is Boomerang telling the story, and he implies the bartender was actually the Black Cat, who takes the painting after Fred tells her about it, rather than just taking it herself whenever she wants, so it's all bullshit.

Fred's one strikeout from the record, when the Owl, sitting in the stands eating a rat on a bun, calls. He figured out Fred's plan, and has placed a large wager this pitcher won't break the record. If Fred goes along with it, ditching his own plan, all his debts to Owl are waived. Or he can insist on winning, and Owl will do the "lock a cage full of starving rats around your head," thing.

Boomerang, telling this story to someone with a shadowed face in a bar, tries leaving his choice ambiguous, but the guy doesn't think he can get away with a "Lost" ending. I think the fact Boomerang is alive to spin this yarn tells the tale.

The stranger wants to know what happened with the others, and Boomerang's nicer than I'd expect. Speed Demon wins a huge court settlement against Iron Fist, after Fist broke Speed Demon's foot in a fight (where Boomerang tipped off Fist and Luke Cage so the team would realize they needed him after all). Mach-VII gets saved from his beating by Iron Man (in that ugly black-and-gold armor from the Gillen run), receiving validation when Stark offers to have a team-up.

Beetle and Overdrive try to escape with the (fake) painting after their attempt to use the head of Silvermane to take over all the crime families fell apart when every member of the group made a backdoor deal with a different crime family. They run into Doom, who wants his painting back.

Meanwhile, the Punisher shows up in the middle of the gang war, demanding everyone form an orderly line so he can kill them. Frank's really lost his zest for the job, turning it into an (dis)assembly line. But someone objects. Could it be Tombstone (who is impervious to bullets anyway)? Mr. Negative? Hammerhead?

After 16 issues of being the punching bag, the Shocker roars in on his Shockermobile (Shocker-Buggy?) and blasts Frank Castle clear to Hoboken (location may not be accurate, GPS non-functional at this time) and is declared the new Don. Sure, why not?

Describing this ending as a "How I Met Your Mother" approach, Boomerang reflects the classic Sinister Sixes don't know what it's like to be someone with nothing but a dream, and have to fight and claw to make it a reality. And fight and claw all the harder for the backstabbing. Back in the bar, Boomerang admits he made up half of it, and finally asks the name of the guy he's talking to. It's "Peter", and Boomerang remarks they could be good - cue fade to black Sopranos ending, though Spencer would make Boomerang Peter Parker's roomie when he wrote Amazing Spider-Man.

Eh, still better than living with Johnny Storm.

{11th longbox, 36th comic. Superior Foes of Spider-Man #17, by Nick Spencer (writer), Steve Lieber (artist), Rachelle Rosenberg (color artist), Clayton Cowles (letterer)}

What I Bought 12/8/2021 - Part 1

I came into work yesterday and found out the administrative assistant, who had been out sick Tuesday, came in just long enough Wednesday to dump a bunch of her work on my desk and send an e-mail to our Program Director telling him to tell me to do it. Lovely. Keep in mind I'm not an administrative assistant. Put me in a sour mood all day Thursday. In other news, three comics this week, and I managed to get 'em all! Whooo!

One-Star Squadron #1, by Mark Russell (writer), Steve Lieber (artist), Dave Stewart (colorist), Dave Sharpe (letterer) - Ah, Weather Wizard's started up one of those cash hurricane booths to distract the heroes.

Basically, this is about a company for super-heroes that are struggling to get by. Join up and they'll help you make public appearances or bodyguard gigs to pay your bills. The '90s Superman supporting character Gangbuster shows up with various issues related to being hit in the head a lot, and Red Tornado decides to try and help him. Which is somehow the perfect moment for Power Girl, who is now taking business tips from Max Lord, to try and get herself installed as the one running things. Except she's reporting to five dorks in a skyscraper to have them put her in that job, so she's not really running jack shit.

I don't know what this is trying to be. Lieber is trying to be very expressive with the faces and body languages of the characters. Which is good, because all they do is sit around talking, so him trying to instill personality into that is helpful. Although it's weird to see Red Tornado eating a hamburger. I can't remember if he's still an android or flesh and blood. Brad Meltzer made him human when he wrote Justice League, didn't he? 

Anyway, I saw one person compare Lieber's work to Kevin Maguire on the old Justice League International, which, you could do a hell of a lot worse on artist to emulate! And if you want the cast to feel like everyday people with everyday problems, who just happen to have superpowers, having the artist draw them making mundane or goofy expressions when appropriate is a good way to go.

But Justice League International was also, at least some of the time, funny. This really isn't. I'm not sure it's meant to be. Probably meant to be depressing, that this is what these heroes have been reduced to. Cold calling people to get them to join up, or advising each other to do mall openings to raise their rating to get more work, like this is freaking Uber. "Maybe carry bottled water to offer after you save them from a burning building. They'll be thirsty, after all." Red Tornado's trying to do what the company purports to do, look after a hero struggling with mental health issues, and it's going to get him ousted because he's not focused on the bottom line.

Power Girl as the backstabbing opportunist who has decided money is what matters, is definitely a choice. Not like she hadn't run her own companies that were dedicated to trying to make the world a better place or anything. I mean, was Max Lord even a successful businessman, the insights of which others would want to read? Wouldn't his key to success be, "Develop mind control"?

I think Russell's brand of satire, or maybe it's his approach in general, just doesn't work for me. You can do commentary on depressing aspects of life, get the point across, and make me laugh. I've read a lot of books and comics that managed it, but not Russell's work. Now I have a month to debate if I should give it a second issue to be "fair", or just cut my losses here.

Lunar Room #1, by Danny Lore (writer), Gio Sposito (artist), DJ Chavis (colorist), Andworld (letterer) - Reminds me of the end of one of the DragonBall Z movies. Piccolo and Vegeta, just sitting on a chunk of ice. "Is it over?" "Wait for the fish to jump." *splash* "It's over."

Cynthia was a werewolf and an enforcer for some mob boss. Somehow she got cursed, and can't change into a werewolf any longer. Zac is a half-assed mage who tried to steal a magic sword from some university-looking place his twin brother Axton runs. He only got a piece of it, but it's enough to at least temporarily give Cynthia some of her old self back. Which gives him a lever to use to get her to protect him.

There's a lot of backstory hinted at. Zac was apparently locked up somewhere prior to his attempt at theft. Cynthia had a girlfriend (or maybe it's her old boss) named Angie who she still pines after, but mostly ignores her. Cynthia's condition, being "bound" as they call it, is common knowledge in the circles she works in. The specifics of most of this, the whys and wheres are left unsaid. Probably get to those down the line.

One thing I don't like about the format is, every time it switches from Cynthia's perspective to Zac's (or vice versa), they count that as a different chapter. Even if there's only four panels in the chapter, such as Chapter 6. This feels like one of those times it would be better to use thought balloons, if they feel the color-coded exposition boxes aren't sufficient to show the shift in whose inner monologue we're reading.

Sposito's art has a slick feel to it. Not a lot of excess lines, keeps the shading pretty straightforward and simple. Focuses on making the characters look distinct, gives them their own looks. Cynthia seems to constantly have her fists clenched, always seems to be leaning towards people, or moving with her head down like she's in a hurry. I don't know if she's leaning forward because she's used to scenting things, or she's trying to appear more aggressive to make up for what she's lost in power and status.

What I Bought 1/26/2015 - Part 9

For today's reviews, we have one series wrapping up, and another just getting started.

Secret Six #1, by Gail Simone (writer), Ken Lashley (penciller, inker), Drew Geraci (inker), Jason Wright (colorist), Carlos M. Mangual (letterer) - Before I realized the letters on the cover were forming words, I thought it was a weird periodic table reference. Then I was trying to figure out what element would have an isotope of W47, and what that had to do with anything.

Catman's hanging out in some dive bar, and three dudes posing as cops try to arrest him, and get thrashed, only for the singer to tase Blake. Then he wakes up in a big metal box with 5 other people. They have 15 minutes to figure out a secret, or one of them is gonna die. And since the box is at the bottom of the ocean, they kind of seem to be out of options.

This was not what I was expecting. I am curious as to what the secret is - though I have a strong hunch it's something along the lines of the Sixes' lives being in the hands of whoever put them there - but I feel like it might have helped if we had a better sense of the people who set all this up. Blake and the others don't have to know anything, and we don't have to know everything. But at this stage, things are so vague this could just be some asshole sadist torturing people, like those crapass Saw movies. I highly doubt that's the case but you can't rule it out, at least not after one issue.

The art varies in quality, depending in part on who's inking, and also what's going on. When the characters are sitting and talking, things look pretty good. The club scene at the beginning, that was solid, though I think Wright's colors help a lot. There's something about how panels or pages will have this one overwhelming background color, but the characters are shaded differently, like the light plays off them differently, I like it. When people have to start moving, things don't go as well. It's more muddled, and as busy as Lashley's style is, he might want to use either larger panels, or put less stuff in them to make things clearer. Also, at certain points the faces get really undefined, and even seem to lose their shape (around the point Blake accosts Black Alice), which I'm assuming is when Lashley wasn't inking himself. Things got a lot more, Impressionistic, post-Impressionist? The general idea of human shape, rather than an actual one?

I wouldn't call this a win as first issues go, but we'll see if my curiosity keeps me here long enough for things to pick up. I'm confident that if Simone has time, she can build some relationships between these people they was she did the previous versions, but she's got to keep me here until then.

Superior Foes of Spider-Man #17, by Nick Spencer (writer), Steve Lieber (artist), Rachelle Rosenberg (color artist), Clayton Cowles (letterer) - Are they in a shawarma joint? And I just now found out what that actually is, from looking it up to see how to spell it. While I don't know Steve Lieber or Nick Spencer, I'm not sure I'd trust them to prepare my grilled mixed meats wrapped in, is that a flatbread? Let's go with flatbread.

Boomerang is on the verge of breaking his own strikeout record, while impersonating the guy who was going to break it anyway. He calls up his lady friend to give her some spiel about how he'd give up the whole crime thing for her, and hey, he has this super-expensive painting of Doom they could share. He used that villain Mirage to steal the real one, but used a duplicate of him to carry a fake painting to trick Chameleon and Owl. Two problems: One, the Owl isn't tricked. He's watching the game from the stands, and orders Boomerang to throw the game, or else. Two, his girlfriend was actually Felicia Hardy, and she took the painting. And we never find out if Fred threw the game or not, though the fact he's alive suggests yes. Otherwise I think rats would have eaten his innards by now.

But let's be honest, most of this is him making stuff up. Hey, I enjoyed watching the Shocker become head of the Maggia by taking out the Punisher with his Shockermobile, but yeah, that didn't happen. I mean, Fred says Speed Demon won 90 bajillion dollars when he sued Iron Fist, and we all know Danny Rand is a lousy, broke ass businessman, so there's no way he's being ordered to pay that much. It's highly unlikely Fred was really dating Felicia Hardy, even if she was in disguise. And Iron Man showing up to help Mach 7 out of that bind, while bolstering Abe's sense of self-worth? Please.

It was funny, though, which counts for a lot. It is, as Fred says, about a bunch of people scratching and clawing to fulfill their dreams, and pleasantly enough, their dreams don't revolve around killing Spider-Man or world conquest. They can't quite pull it off, because they're second-raters and they can't stop backstabbing each other, but they make up, and try again. I've been frustrated at times with how stupid Fred's made everyone around him seem, but having him openly admit on the last page he's making half of it up helped a lot. I'm going to miss this book.

Lieber's and Spencer are very good at those one panel, reaction shots? set-ups for the punchline? I'm not sure what you'd call them. The one of Frank, slightly perplexed and saying 'Hell', right before Shocker blasts him over the horizon. It gives the reader a moment to appreciate the preceding panel, and get ready for the next one. The use of arrows in this issue, to help clarify all the shape-shifting and fakeouts. Appreciated, but they run with it just long enough for it to become funny, without getting annoying.

What I Bought 11/15/2014 - Part 14

Finally this round of reviews come to an end. Of course, November's books may have arrived by the time you read this - I'm typing this the week before - so we might jump right into the next round. Or not. Can never tell with my comic guy, you know?

Superior Foes of Spider-Man #16, by Nick Spencer (writer), Steve Lieber (artist), Rachelle Rosenberg (color artist), Clayton Cowles (letterer) - Nice going, Boomerang. You got your gang arrested, and the city is burning down. I hope you're happy (Note: He is happy).

Let's see, the Punisher is back in New York, Fred's lady friend is understandably pissed at him for trying to save his own hide by throwing her to the Bullseye robot, Mach-7 is trying to get some help from Tony Stark, and gets some bullshit pep talk before Tony hangs up on him. Hydro-Man saves the Shocker, who has had it with people betraying him and is out for blood. Go Hermann! And everybody's attempts to double-cross everyone else over Silvermane's cyborg head lead to a huge battle. Which Boomerang skips out on, only to run smack into the Owl and Chameleon, who beat the hell out of him.

But wait, that isn't Fred. Fred is actually about to impersonate the Mets' star pitcher, by using some serum Chameleon uses to change his appearance these days. That's what Fred stole from Chameleon's safe some issues ago. I have no idea who the Boomerang getting beat up is. His skin color is wrong to be Mach-7, and I don't know why Abe would be impersonating Fred if that's who he was trying to capture. Find out next issue, hopefully.

It's somehow fitting that a loser like Fred would consider pitching for the Mets, "winning". At least aim for a team that's good, like Tampa, or Detroit. Maybe the San Francisco Giants. But the Mets? I knew there was a reason I hated Fred. Though there's a halfway decent chance he's just trying to ruin Demang Pendak's career. He's breaking some of Fred's records, I could see Fred intentionally trying to injure several opposing players to wreck the guy's rep.

Actually, I might give Beetle the credit for most evil in this issue, not for the betrayal, just for using "Sorry, not sorry". That's such an irritating phrase. "Let me show you what a jerk I am by apologizing for the fact I'm not going to apologize for whatever I did." Just say you aren't sorry and get punched in the face.

Silly little note, but thanks to Steve Lieber for drawing Madame Masque's mask as a mask, rather than like a second skin. You can see a little skin around the eyes under, because it's a big metal thing, it shouldn't fit completely snugly. Tigh Walker was drawing it like that on Avengers Undercover and it bugged me.

I got to see part of the final issue online, and it helped with my perspective on the book. I've mentioned my irritation with the fact everyone seems to have become an idiot so Fred can pull this off. But as it turns out, Fred is actually retelling this story to someone in a bar, so he's just making shit up for the parts he wasn't around for. He admits he's making up half of it. Which should have been obvious to me, since I knew it was Fred telling the tale, but when he's the only narrator I've got, and the art isn't contradicting what he's saying, what option do I have? So there's a distinct possibility a whole lot of this is crap.

What I Bought 9/5/2014 - Part 6

From comics about someone very good at what she does for a living, to comics about a group of people not so good at the (bad) things they do for a living. But darn it, they try hard (at double-crossing each other).

Superior Foes of Spider-Man #14 and 15, by Nick Spencer (writer), Steve Lieber (artist), Rich Ellis (artist, #14), Rachelle Rosenberg (color artist), Clayton Cowles (letterer) - Kind of sums the team up, doesn't it? Standing around in broad (or waning daylight), bickering, with a van that doesn't appear to have much cash inside, judging by the paltry number of bills we can see.

It's a couple of issues setting things up for the big finale. This does not mean it's boring, though. We finally found out why Overdrive and Beetle were driving a hijacked school bus, and how that signaled the end of Overdrive's dream. 'No, and now I never will be.' That was a little heartbreaking. Just a little. Like somebody dropping a really nice muffin on a dirty floor. Basically, Overdrive got his powers thanks to Mr. Negative, but he still owes money on the procedure, and so he and Beetle were involved in a long chase across the city. This is the third book that did a double page spread that was really a series of panels. There was the one in Ms. Marvel, the one in Rocket Raccoon, and now this. And of the three, Lieber (and also Rich Ellis maybe?) did the best job. For one thing, they actually started in the upper left corner, instead of the lower left corner, like you should because that's where the reader's eye is naturally going to go, which experienced comic artists ought to know, but apparently some don't.

Anyway, Boomerang and Speed Demon do much ridiculing of Overdrive, and make several unprofessional remarks towards the Beetle about her getting worked up by fast driving. Given she's probably the most powerful member of the team, they might want to not do that, but whatever. During all this, the Shocker's been hiding, and when Boomerang starts trashing him, Herman's had enough. It looks like he's finally gonna get his moment, but the Beetle zaps him in the head, because he waited too long. Now that the team has managed to pull off a successful (they think) heist, they're fully on board the Boomerang train. So they bury Herman alive. At least they put him in a coffin first. They also took the head of Silvermane and are planning to use it to become head of the Maggia, as you do. Except none of them appear to want to run it, and are each planning to share control with someone else. Mr. Negative, Tombstone, Madame Masque (she's freaking everywhere these days, is she about to appear in a movie?) And the Owl and Chameleon are teaming up to get the painting back from Boomerang.

There is going to be one heck of an insane melee between gangs at the end of this. I really, really hope it ends with Boomerang strutting off, feeling so smart. And then Spidey swings by and just casually knocks him out and leaves him webbed up for the cops. Perfect humiliation. I will give Fred credit, he regurgitated Shocker's speech to the rest of the gang perfectly, so he must have been paying attention, even if none of them were. It's the details that trip you up, so he's covering that base, at least.

I appreciated the little bar fight in the second issue. It's a small thing, but Lieber did a good job giving it the look of a sloppy, stupid brawl between a bunch of losers who just happen to have powers. So there's a lot of sucker punches, cheap shots, ear pulling, that sort of thing. It just also involves people getting electrocuted and a guy turning one of those fat people scooters into a steamroller. And I like that he uses the circle effect for Speed Demon's legs when he's using super-speed. Like how they would show the Road Runner or Sonic the Hedgehog when they ran fast? I don't know, I just enjoy that he went that route. Also how Overdrive somehow turned a wheelbarrow into a backhoe (complete with the sound effect "BACKHOE!") to bury the Shocker. Poor, poor Herman. Maybe he could get She-Hulk to beat them up for him, since she's his new buddy and all.

Nah, Herman wouldn't do that. He still believes in the loyalty thing, even if nobody else does.

What I Bought 7/31/2014 - Part 4

Since it's Friday, let's step over to the wrong side of the law for these reviews. Get a little rowdy and such. Teenage rebellion, nefarious deeds, and all that.

Avengers Undercover #7, by Dennis Hopeless (writer), Kev Walker (penciler), Jason Gorder (inker), Jean-Francois Beaulieu (colorist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - I would question making out with someone right next to your own tombstone, but Alex just got out of Hell, so I guess any place is an improvement.

Nico trying to hone her control of her powers with some instructions from recently back from the dead ex-boyfriend Alex. Except Alex' teaching method is mostly to flirt with her. Then she finds out Chase was shot, and though she heals his injuries, he won't wake up. Frustrated with that, she decides it's time to make bad decisions, and makes out with Alex. Also, Deathlocket didn't mention she shot Chase. That's going to be awkward later. So the guy Zemo's crew attacked AIM to get is the person who designed basically all of SHIELD's security and systems. AIM couldn't get anything out of his brain, but that's because they relied on science and super-powers. Hellstrom has magic, so yeah, that's bad. Perhaps SHIELD should do something, but as Hank Pym's discovering, Maria Hill has no intent of invading Bargalia, and certainly isn't worried about the kids. Oh, they killed a man who tortured them! So leave them in the hands of super-villains. Brilliant! At least Pym cares. Too bad he stole Buffyverse Spike's hair, and got his head shrunk in the process (that first panel he appears in, his head is much too small for his shoulders. Rare misstep from Walker).

Good news, though, Cammi's alive! And trapped in a cell right next to Zemo's living room! And Arcade's in a cell next to her! So nobody really died! But I guess my theory about the bad guys actually working for the good guys and testing the kids is going down the toilet. Plus, I think Hazmat may have thrown in full-scale with Zemo. Some young girl with long straight black hair was there sharing drinks with the baddies. Can't be Cammi, Nico was occupied, Deathlocket only has half a head of hair, kind of just leaves Hazmat. It would tie in with her being the one to seemingly toast Arcade. I guess I'll have to see if Hopeless and Walker can tie this whole thing together in the 3 issues they have left.

Nice touch, having Nico's pupils disappear early in the issue when Alex starts winding her up, and having it get progressively worse throughout. By the end, it looks like she's burned out her eye sockets, and magic is just pouring out through her eyes constantly. Not a good sign, but it definitely looks cool (though I wonder how she sees where she's going).

Superior Foes of Spider-Man #13, by Nick Spencer (writer), Steve Lieber (artist), Rachelle Rosenberg (color artist), Clayton Cowles (letterer) - It's the Shocker stumbling around in the Rhino head that gets me. That or Speed Demon dumping the Gwen doll. Sick, but funny. Surprised Boomerang went with Kraven's get-up. Does he really want to emulate the guy who celebrated his greatest success by blowing his brains out? Though I guess Fred could be about to find out getting what you always wanted can be hollow.

Boomerang, Overdrive and the Beetle made off with the (fake) painting of Doom's face. I don't know if that means there's never been a real painting, or if this is a forgery of the real painting. Boomerang called the cops, but one of the poor saps that got drafted into his Sinister Sixteen called Mach 7, so now he knows Fred was leading an attack on the Chameleon's headquarters with a bunch of criminals. The Chameleon's not pleased with Fred, and since the Owl apparently knows he got double-crossed again, neither is he. If this doesn't end badly for Fred, I'm going to be stunned, because I still can't believe he's smart enough to talk his way out of it. But our intrepid villains make their way to a safe house in a stolen taco truck, and meet Speed Demon along the way. He and Fred have got something going they aren't telling the other two, and Fred is not doubt preparing to betray Speed Demon at any moment. But someone else is also in the safe house - the Shocker, with Silvermane's annoying, old man head, after they were forced to flee Hermann's apartment to get away from Hammerhead.

I have no idea what Boomerang's plan is. At this point, I'm not even sure what things are and are not part of it, other than he wasn't counting on the Shocker showing up. I'm not criticizing Spencer for this, he's done pretty well so far at putting the pieces in place, then bringing them all together. Just saying, I can't even make a guess at the end game here, 'cause all Fred seems to do is be making enemies, and that's the sort of thing best reserved for people with the power to get away with it. Dr. Doom or Kang can piss off a bunch of villains, because they can incinerate anyone who gives them any lip about it. Boomerang may be punching above his weight class here. But it's nice to have goals, I guess.

I can't figure out what that little "X" Lieber draws on Mach 7's right shoulder is. It honestly looks like a couple of Band-Aids, but surely Abe could afford a better patch job than that. He's looking at freaking buttercup yellow couches and scented candles. Fix your super-suit! Unless it's an insignia. Is Abner a member of the X-Men now? Well sure, why not? They won't let Deadpool in, but accept the guy who doesn't even have powers! I'm sure that's not it, but I don't know what it is.

What I Bought 7/3/2014 - Part 5

All right, last pair of comics for a couple of weeks. One book has a guest penciler, the other one is getting back its usual artist.

She-Hulk #5, by Charles Soule (writer), Ron Wimberly (artist), Rico Renzi (color artist), Clayton Cowles (letterer) - I have never tried that "tape all the pieces of evidence on the wall" thing you see people do. It always looks too messy and disorganized for me. I'd just get distracted by it.

We're into the "let's split up, gang, and look for clues" portion of the investigation. So Jen visits the Shocker, who is both more and less pitiful than he is in the book we'll be discussing further down. But Jen manages to avoid a fight, and the Shocker manages to remember a few things after he zaps himself with his gauntlets. Patsy goes to visit Tigra and they have a pleasant chat until Patsy mentions the name of the guy who brought the case against them. Then Tigra tries to kill her, and herself, though Patsy narrowly averts both those things. Angie's up in North Dakota trying to find the original documents, which she does, but the person at the courthouse is about to shoot her. Which means it's probably a bad thing Jen wraps up the issue calling Wyatt Wingfoot to discuss the case with him.

So we have post-hypnotic implanted suggestions, a mysterious person was up to something and needed two villains with similar shticks to help, and the resultant effort by the heroes to stop it destroyed a town. I have no idea how all that pieces together. I also don't know if it's significant that Wimberly used the same spiral in the eyes thing for the country clerk when he's getting ready to shoot, and for Angie and the monkey when they saw whatever it was they saw in the ruins of that town. Is she (or the monkey) connected to all this?  Is there some sort of illusion cast over the town, and it requires a similar effect to the hypnotic suggestion to see through it?

Can't say I care for Wimberly's art. Everything's too wrinkled, and he draws things so I feel like I'm looking through a fish-eye lens, kind of like Tan Eng Huat does, which is not an effect I'm terribly fond of. He does good work with the sound effects, though. I especially like the SCREEEE when Angie hits the brakes, the way it follows her across the panel. Don't understand why he uses quote marks around them sometimes (like the THMMM when Jen lands on the fire escape. I like Renzi's colors. They're very, "Day-Glo" is the word that comes to mind, and maybe a little unusual, but they evoke the mood well and make sure things stand out. Angie's car against the frozen expanses of North Dakota, or that pink-purple sky over Tigra and Hellcat's heads. It's a good backdrop for their color scheme, and it looks odd enough to put the reader slightly on edge.

Superior Foes of Spider-Man #12, by Nick Spencer (writer), Steve Lieber (artist), Rachelle Rosenberg (color artist), Clayton Cowles (letterer) - Hmm, I get that Wimberly is trying to make their costumes look like they fit as real clothes would, but no. He made the Shocker look even dumber than usual, like it's some common hood trying to pretend to be the Shocker with a custom made ski-mask.

After two issues of stupid time wasting crap, back to the actual storyline. I mean, jeez, did Lieber and Spencer think they were Fraction and Aja, going to stall for time with a bunch of stupid ancillary nonsense? Whatever. Boomerang manages to convince his team that it was really the Chameleon who screwed them over, which wouldn't have worked if the Owl wasn't there backing him up (because Spencer's Owl is about 1/100th as smart as Mark Waid's Owl). And the Owl wants them to help get back his painting from the Chameleon. He even went out and hired a bunch more super-villains for Boomerang to dupe, er I mean lead in an assault. Isn't this a little small-time for Bi-Beast, though? The others, sure, I could see them getting on board (maybe not Shriek), but I kind of thought Bi-Beast was into destroying humanity or taking over the world, stuff like that. Just being cannon fodder here, so I guess it doesn't matter. Boomerang suckers Overdrive into taking a fake of the painting (because Fred's such an expert on art he can detect forgeries now?), and that leaves Boomerang free to loot the safe. The other thread is that Hydro-Man told Hammerhead how Shocker has Silvermane's head, and now Hammerhead's guys are going to storm Hermann's apartment. Hmm, now would be a good time for She-Hulk to show up and ask more questions.

I'm still having a hard time buying Boomerang being smart enough to even come up with a scam like this, let alone keep it together this long. He's a putz. He's always been a putz. He couldn't out-maneuver the Beetle for leadership in the Sinister Syndicate, because he's a dope. Fortunately, everyone else in the book is an even bigger dope. It's like the Futurama episode where the giant brains make everyone except Fry complete idiots. But there are no giant brains to be seen. The book is still funny, but remember how I said a couple of weeks ago that I've grown really impatient waiting for fictional characters to get their comeuppance? I'm kind of itching to see his team kick his butt.

All that (extensive) complaining aside, credit to Spencer and Lieber for making me care about the Shocker. He's a chump, the guy who figures if you say you're a team or a gang, it means something, in spite of all evidence in his life to the contrary. I've always kind of liked the Shocker, because at his core, he's just a thief. He doesn't care about world conquest or bloody revenge. If he never saw Spider-Man again, I'm sure he'd be just fine with that. But he can't help himself being a thief. He either can't, or won't change, and so he's stuck. There's always going to be a hero there to ruin his day. Now he's got to deal with the fact the people in the same boat as him don't even treat him well. I'd really like to see him get a good moment here, just trounce Hammerhead and his guys, but it's probably not going to happen.

OK, that's weird. I was looking back over it, and the Owl says he hired more guys, and that Fred requested 11 more villains, Fred's response being that now they're the Sinister 16. Except with only 4 members (Boomerang, Overdrive, the Beetle, Speed Demon) to start with, that would only be the Sinister 15. But Lieber drew 12 villains, which would make 16. I'm confused. I also notice Speed Demons is nowhere to be seen during the attack on the Chamleon, so either he's got something planned with Fred, or he's hanging back, waiting to pounce when Fred tries his double-cross.

It's interesting how much more subdued Rosenberg's colors are here than on Nightcrawler. It fits; there's not weird magic, super-powered robots, or schools with training rooms that cost billions of dollars. It's a bunch of cheap crooks running around making fools of themselves. It's basic greed and stupidity, just dressed up a little.