What I Bought 9/2/2026 - Part 1

About a month ago, I got an e-mail from Internet Movie Database, telling me my account had been created. While I do use it as a resource for almost every movie post, I had not created an account, so I dismissed it as some sort of phishing scam. Until I went to the site a week later, and it showed me as signed in. Turns out, Amazon owns or is connected to IMDb, so if you have an account with Bezos' Money Machine, they make you one for the movie site.

I deleted the account. I'll decide whether I make an account on a website or not, thanks. Today we've got the first of three comics from this week. I wasn't expecting to find all three at the local store. Two at best, given I hadn't had much luck with FF or Deadman last month. I guess that's the advantage to getting there on a Wednesday instead of a Thursday.

Fantastic Four #16, by Ryan North (writer), Ramon Rosanas (artist), Edgar Delgado (color artist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - Think you're a little late with the cover-up attempt, gang. I do like the font as trying to evoke old sci-fi mags or something similar.

The FF are hiding on an alien world until they fix their 1950s-style flying saucer. The intelligent life is technologically around the "dirigibles and phonograph" stage, so I guess it's a Prime Directive thing. Johnny bought a "graphophone" so they can listen to music while they work, plus some clay for Alicia to work with. Which gives her an idea.

Apparently, there was a theory that if you can store sound by carving into a wax cylinder, other things could store sounds when you carved them, like clay. Earth's clay doesn't do this, but the clay of the alien world does. If someone hummed while they carved a vase, the vase stored the sound and it could be played. Disguised, the FF share this discovery with the world, figuring as long as it seems like their own people figured it out, and the locals are the ones who actually test the artifacts, it's fine.

It's not fine. People learn things about the great thinkers, creators, religious figures and whatnot, that they didn't want to know. Fights break out, people start trying to destroy elements of the past. Reed gets the idea if they reveal they're actually aliens and explain a few things, people will calm down. Reed is wrong.

As the FF can't keep the entire world from fighting each other, they try one last time, only this time they lie. Present another invention that "accidentally" reveals them as beings of malicious intent (instead of, let's be kind and said overly optimistic), and are "killed" before they can escape in their saucer. They return to Earth, now having to explain to their kids why it was OK to lie this time. I'm not sure I buy Sue's reasoning that it may not matter in the long run, as I suspect that even if a member of the species rediscovers the truth centuries down the line, there will still be pushback from reactionary forces who don't like having their worldview challenged. But I'm a cynical person.

I was trying to decide what was bugging me the entire issue about Rosanas' version of the Thing. I think it's he gives Ben a neck. His head is too high relative to his shoulders. Although judging by that first panel, the area between his nose and lips looks almost like a dog's muzzle. That ain't helping. Also, seeing him wearing the same costume as the others, instead of just the pants, is weird to me. I know he's done that at times in the past, and I don't blink when he wears sweaters or whatever during his time off, but the snug spandex look just didn't seem right.

What I Bought 8/12/2026 - Part 1

In yet another example of my spectacular timing, I managed to schedule a week off during the hottest week of the year. It's been a billion damn degrees out there everyday since Sunday, and will apparently continue for another two days. And when it cools off, I'm back at work, and covering for Bill as he goes on another week-long fishing trip.

In addition to the two books from this week, the local guy had another book on the shelves that wasn't there last week. I guess somebody didn't want to pay for the anniversary issue. Can't say I blame them, really. A decent chunk of the additional pages are pages or covers from notable prior issues of FF (as in, the original pages, whether by Kirby, Byrne, Buscema, etc.), but with Ramos adding in the current bunch watching invisibly. Yes, that is underwhelming.

Fantastic Four #15, by Ryan North (writer), Humberto Ramos (penciler), Victor Olazaba (inker), Edgar Delgado (colorist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - The green monster from the cover of the first issue of FF made the cover. Not Annihilus, Mole Man, Namor, any of the team's various allies and replacements, but that big monster, yes. That's the sort of thing that would really annoy the Wizard.

A scullery maid contemplates the dreary nature of her life, when four strangely dressed people appear out of thin air, asking for her help to keep them from moving backwards in time. Yes, North is doing another FF story centered around time travel. Man's going to wear a footpath through timestream at this rate.

Nicholas Scratch - North has used him twice now, but Diablo can't get any run - has figured out temporal magic and reversed the FF's flow, so they're moving backwards. They need an electrical charge and something really cold to disrupt the effect and get them moving the right way again. Also, I'm not sure how Sue is using her power to induce an encounter with regular time, as Reed puts it. Or why, if they're moving backwards through time, they aren't also speaking backwards from the maid's perspective.

The maid, Clarina Canady, is extremely chill about all this. Especially given one of them is a big rock guy. But she's stoked at the idea a woman can be a natural philosopher, aka a scientist, so she spends 20 years working on something to create a charge, waiting for the FF to pop up earlier, from their perspective, in their journey. Reed's able to give Clarina more info about the cold-producing device, and she works on that for another 20 years. But the FF don't show up, and she somehow figures out that their meeting her in her past is messing up where they appeared in her future.

I don't follow, but let's roll with it, as Clarina spends the last 20 years of her life designing a primitive airship that can hold her and the things she built to help the FF. She does, their time starts flowing the right direction, and her heart gives out. The FF make the aforementioned trip back through a handful of specific moments in their history, confront Scratch again, and Johnny knocks him out by pretending to be the mindless copy Scratch had unleashed to initially lure them in. But to sell it, he had to get rid of his mustache, which has to be just about the clearest sign North's run is wrapping up, if he's putting things back to factory standard.

Also, for some reason the sleeves of their outfits are a different color (black) when she meets them the last time than in her first two encounters (blue.) But then, when they reappear moments after Scratch sent them away, the sleeves are blue, and only the gloves are black.

What I Bought 7/15/2026

Google sent some notice a few weeks back that they wanted me to approve some thing or the other that would let them use anything I searched for to train their bullshit faux-AI. I, being the contrary sort, said no. So now Google and Google Maps don't recall anything I searched for previously. Which I suppose I have to admire, from a pettiness standpoint if nothing else.

D'Orc #6, by Brett Bean (writer/artist), Frank William (color artist), Nate Piekos (letterer) - The fantasy world equivalent of a Ghostbusters containment unit.

D'Orc travels through some spiritual realm with a talking Super Smash Bros. logo that is apparently Fate. Fate shows D'Orc how he was conceived, but is vague about the identity of his parents, other than his mom was an orc and his dad a dwarf, the last 2 survivors of some big war, who shared one night of probably hate-sex.

Fate's more relevant point is that nothing is destined, because everyone is always making choices, and all those choices have consequences that overlap and react, so how could things be destined? Except Fate also implies it already knows what choice D'Orc is going to make as far as whether to help the bone witches (apparently there's an entire coven) burn the world down. Which sure sounds like something that's destined.

D'Orc escapes the crystal to find the Bone Witch, his shield, and the chicken are fleeing something. The something is the angry dwarf from a few issues ago, now minus part of his face. Which doesn't make sense, because the Witch's potion was actually supposed to trigger D'Orc's berserker fury so he would kill the dwarf, because the Witch hates him for something he did. Possibly sleeping with D'Orc's mom. Possibly never calling the Bone Witch by her name (whatever that is.) Probably something bigger than either of those. Regardless, why would a potion meant for that erase part of someone's face?

There's some fighting, there's some attempts at escaping, D'Orc is falling out of the sky into the dark half of the realm. Maybe? He was just supposed to head for the Scar - isn't that where he started the series? - but I guess he needs to see how the other side lives.

It feels like Bean finally did something beyond, "D'Orc runs into some random people and shit happens." There's some actual momentum towards, well, something. The Bone Witch Coven as someone for D'Orc to seek out. The angry dwarf deciding he's going to raise an army, which I guess locks him into Primary Antagonist role for the near-future. I was waiting to see if the book would actually give me a reason to look forward to the next issue beyond hoping the next issue would give me a reason, and I guess this qualifies. 

Fantastic Four #14, by Ryan North (writer), Ramon Rosanas (artist), Edgar Delgado (color artist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) -  The glitchy effect on the logo made me confused whether there'd been a printing error, or my eyes were just getting really shitty.

Dinner at the Baxter Building is interrupted with Jo and Nikki find the rest of the family staring transfixed at a series of numbers on a screen. Or in Alicia's case, staring blankly as her fingers run over a series of numbers on a touchpad. Nothing can get their attention or pull them away from the numbers.

And people are sharing this string of numbers, which is apparently the furthest out anyone has ever calculated pi, worldwide, causing more and more people to enter this fugue state. And if they lose access to the sequence, say because their phone battery dies, or someone rips open the faceplate of their fancy-schmancy armor, they go crazy.

Yes, like that. Now Tony Stark has another excuse the next time he does something horrible, besides "booze" and "futurism."

The kids figure out this is like that time Reed explained that poison ivy pretty much only bothers humans, and this is not something to improve the odds of survival, just a weird, random development. For some reason, a particular sequence in pi fucks with humans' brains. And since the kids can't change the value of pi, they have to figure something else out.

The answer involves time travel to mess with human evolution, and goddamn does North seem to be going to the time travel well a lot. Mucking with time was a huge part of One World Under Doom, especially the FF issues, where it felt like there were no fewer than 3 different stories that involved time travel. He just sent Reed and Johnny to the Roman era two issues ago. Give the timeline a rest for a minute, man. 

So there's a clue in a particular something that's off in Rosanas' art throughout the issue, up to the point Jo and Nikki explain it. And then when they make their fix, it reverts things to what we would consider normal. Except it's more like they made that the new normal. I'm not sure if I have more trouble with that, or the idea this was supposed to be an entirely random thing, and not a targeted attack. Also, I can't believe that, "Hey, we calculated pi to 8 billion digits!" would get that much traction on social media. Not to mention all the people that would never see it on social media. Like me.

Not to mention all the people on Marvel-Earth who aren't humans or aren't entirely humans, that therefore shouldn't be affected. Carol Danvers is half-Kree now. Beta Ray Bill's apparently Thor now, he ain't a primate. Clea's mother is whatever the heck Umar is, which I doubt is "human," regardless of what she looks like.

What I Bought 6/3/2026 - Part 2

My coworkers are having a good laugh at my misery as Emergency Unit Chief (or "yuc" as my mom put it.) To be fair, I'm also laughing. If I didn't, I'd be miserable. So I vowed to lead with apathy and cruelty, and feigned disappointment when I got off a lengthy phone conversation and found everybody had left for lunch.

Although when one of my coworkers said it was a mutiny, I pointed out a mutiny is supposed to involve them throwing me out and taking command for themselves. What they did was just desertion.

Marc Spector: Moon Knight #5, by Jed MacKay (writer), Devmalya Pramanik (artist), Rachelle Rosenberg (color artist), Cory Petit (letterer) - The House has decided it will be the one bringing it down tonight.

Marc charges into the people-eating house with his dragon-sword. The house creates all kinds of greenish, half-formed ghosts or constructs or something. None of which have souls, to the sword's displeasure. All of which are capable of hurting Marc, to Marc's displeasure. Ginnaar swears if Marc gets him to the house's heart, it will drink up its soul, so Marc keeps going. And he finds the heart.

It's Achilles Fairchild, the Asgardian farmboy turned drug lord. Or, it's his body, being controlled by the house. Which explains the door he vanished through in the previous volume. It, and it says its name in The Mansion Ravenous, heard the Midnight Mission's death cries and came looking for the one responsible. Because they're of the same kind, but the Mission is just a child, and the Mansion's a full-grown adult.

Still, the monologuing lets Marc stab it in the heart. To no avail. Ginnaar decides the Mansion would be a better boss, because it can give it back its old form within those walls. It's a lovely image. The dragon, but its form is only partially real. So there are details - the teeth, the claws, some of the scales, but other parts are a swirl of this dull orange that just imposes itself on the page. Marc becomes this tiny white outline in the corner.

So, yeah, Marc's royally fucked, but they let him escape. Because he'll have to come back. With help. That they can also devour. He goes to Clea (since Strange is stuck in Asgard), and she's going to assemble a Midnight Sons, which Marc doesn't remember being a part of. I don't blame him, if Clea's referring to Damnation. I got hold of the complete collection last year. What a pile of shit. The Ewing-written stuff was OK, but the Donny Cates-written stuff was as bad as I'd expect. He wrote Moon Knight (in his "Mr. Knight" persona) as basically Deadpool. I'd blot that experience from my memory, too.

Fantastic Four #12, by Ryan North (writer), Pat Boutin (penciler), Serge LaPointe (inker), Edgar Delgado (colorist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - Well, it's happened. Reed's finally acknowledged what an egotistical prick he is and declared himself Emperor.

The aliens that attacked while the FF were in space a few issues ago decide to take a different approach and conquer the planet in the past. The team tries traveling to the point of the change, but only Reed and Johnny are sent back before the others get erased. So it's the two of them, posing as Gauls, helping some Roman legions fight an alien spaceship.

Also, because the attack was sudden, everybody was in bed when the warning came. Which is how we learn Reed Richards wears pajamas that say "Mr. Fantastic" on them. I'm sure this comes as a great shock to all of you, Reed being such a modest guy. 

The aliens also have a superweapon charging that could wipe out all life on the planet if they decide that's the best remaining option. Reed and Johnny must beat the aliens, but not badly enough they opt to go scorched Earth. At least until figuring out a way to neutralize the weapon. Against an alien force that all the non-Fantastic Four heroes in New York apparently couldn't drive back.

But they manage all this by, OK, you've maybe seen articles about those weird metal dodecahedrons that are dated back to Roman history, and nobody's sure what they were for? Reed invented them, because a whole bunch of them intercepting the superweapon refracts its energy into some less harmful wavelength. I have no idea which wavelength. Maybe all the legionnaires got really tan that day. Or got skin cancer. Presumably they didn't become Hulks, or the U-Foes.

To minimize effects on the timeline, Johnny suggests the Romans not tell anybody how they needed 'two weirdos' to save them from strange invaders, because it would make the Empire look bad, and the general vows to crucify any of his men who talk about it. Which, and I agree with Johnny here, was not an idle threat. Johnny is, apparently, less successful getting them to melt down all the "prismatic refractors", but to be fair, nobody talked about them. Except now Sue has to explain to the Archaeological Society that the answer to yet another long-standing mystery is, "The FF did some shit while time traveling."

I kind of groaned when Reed showed the Legion what he needed them to build, because I could see the punchline, but Sue's exasperation made it work. Even if it does sort of fall under the same notion as aliens building the pyramids. Although aliens totally, definitely exist in the Marvel Universe, and have done a lot more mucking around on Earth than building pyramids, so maybe that's not a big deal.  

What I Bought 6/1/2026 - Part 2

Unfortunately, my boss is out on various vacations most of this month. It's good he's taking time off. I shake my head in amazement when he mentions he came in on weekends to take care of stuff, given how often he reminds us not to stress overly about things (I am maybe 50% successful at this.)

However, him being on vacation means I become him in the interim, with all the irritating phone calls, e-mails, and other mind-numbing crap that implies. Will I make it to the end of the month without running screaming to the South Seas?

Fantastic Four #11, by Ryan North (writer), Stan Sakai (writer/artist), Pat Boutin (penciler), Serge LaPointe (inker), Edgar Delgado (colorist), Brittany Peer (colorist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - The FF don't fight enough dinosaurs.

The Four are trying to decide what this new Future Foundation they're going to build with Maria Hill will be. If Hill's involved it'll be. . . a disaster! *rimshot* Reed, Sue and Johnny are all disagreeing, but Ben excuses himself from the discussion, claiming he's just the muscle. As opposed to Johnny? I'm pretty sure only one of the two of you qualified to be an astronaut, unless they've revamped Johnny's origin significantly.

Tempers are still high the next day when they find a mechanical T-Rex robbing a bank, and it seems like the FF can't get on the same page, until Ben realizes the robot's got the device Doom used to incite emotions and make people attack at Reed and Sue's wedding. I figured Psycho-Man was trying something new, but no, it's some guy the FF haven't seen in over 500 issues that bought his gear from some "super-weapons" auction. Then Ben tries writing a mission statement for the Future Foundation, and it's about everybody working to better things instead of just the "elite."

Whatever, it's fine. I was here for them fighting a robot T-Rex, although from the solicitation, I was really hoping Crimeasaurus Rex was actually a sentient Tyrannosaur, committing dino-crimes for dino-reasons. Maybe North would have fun with the FF trying to reason with a lizard intelligence that operates differently from a mammalian one, or something. Given that hope, "robot controlled by total loser," is kind of a letdown.

Then there's the Stan Sakai story, which is a pretty standard old-school FF adventure where a building falls into a big hole, so the team travels underground to confront Mole Man. Except he's not the problem, it's just a big creature that likes to dig. The FF work briefly with Mole Man to confront it, then everybody uses their powers and their current location in a plan to defeat it. Then Mole Man tells them to get lost like he's Namor or something. It's pretty close to the distilled essence of the FF, but mostly it's a chance to see Stan Sakai draw them, if that's of interest to you.

Is Ted OK? #4, by Dave Chisholm (writer/artist/letterer) - They shoulda put that cover behind a content warning tag or something.

The lady in the van that seemed to be waiting for Ted and Sarah is doctor Christina Paganini. She wants to destroy Ayn-Styne, because she knows weird stuff is going on there. Because she used to work there. Further explanation has to wait, because Man-Bun Idiot is after them, in an admittedly cool mech-suit, with a bunch of other robots or mech-suits. He catches up and asks Ted to come over and sign a form for paid time-off, or else. Then he does a countdown. When that doesn't work, he brings out the stray cat Ted likes, and starts the countdown over.

Which made me think of Woody Harrelson asking Sam Rockwell to please "go back to 5," when he was trying to get his gun to work in Seven Psychopaths. Ted agrees to surrender, if the cat is given to Sarah (who is maybe remembering this scene while she leaves another voicemail for whoever she keeps calling, this time about how 35% of our memories are shit our brain makes up to fill in the gaps.) Cat released, Ted starts asking Brody what this is about, Brody behaves like a dick, Ted, loses it and releases a massive burst of energy that fries all the mechs. And Brody! Good.

It's a nifty scene, although I was trying to figure out "PPPPPPPPPP" as a sound effect, until I realized on the previous page, he clapped his hands to demonstrate how quickly he died earlier, and the discharge came from that. So it's the tail end of an extended "CLAP" sound effect. Nice work on the layouts, albeit in a way that doesn't lend itself to scanning. A pair of two-page sequences, the first, with the clap, one panel running across two pages, getting shorter as it moves right, while on the second, it gets larger as it progresses. Under each of them, a bigger, irregular 4-sided panel, one of the machines, outlined in blue, the other of dark brown and green wreckage.

And then a few panels at the far right on both pages. In the first two-page sequence, it's 3 panels, stacked on top of each other. Brody's "oh shit!" face, Sarah running with the cat, and the doctor looking on in stunned horror. The second two-page sequence, it's 4 panels, and they're all basically focused on Ted's reaction to what he just did.

After that, there's some sort of answers from Christina about what Ted is, at least in the sense this Noah had something to do with it, rather than aliens. Meanwhile, the reporter follows Noah around, trying to ask questions, or at least question Noah's self-aggrandizing bullshit, without much success on either count. And then Noah takes him inside the Dome, where radiation cooks the reporter almost instantly, but Noah is completely fine. I say that, because I assume the ranting about 'meat-suit husks' and 'spaceship Earth' are everyday shit for this guy.

The yellow tone Chisholm uses inside the Dome seems very similar to what was used in Ted's nightmare at the start of issue 3. And Ted's posture as he rants over the reporter is the same as the blood-covered Ted's in the nightmare as he loomed over a terrified version of himself. What that means? I have no idea.

What I Bought 5/8/2026

For whatever reason, the local shop didn't have any copies of Fantastic Four last week. I had Friday off, and during a trip I was making, stopped at another store and found a copy, along with a couple of other back issue projects I'm currently working on.

Fantastic Four #10, by Ryan North (writer), Humberto Ramos (penciler), Victor Olazaba (inker), Edgar Delgado (colorist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - Hey, can you try not blocking traffic while killing everyone? I got places to be!

So the Earth's being invaded while the FF are away, and since apparently every other hero on the planet is completely incapable of handling an invasion by some completely non-descript group of purple aliens, the Scarlet Witch, sorry Sorcerer Supreme, has to use Bullseye to aim a spell to bring the FF back from across the universe. Because Bullseye is, apparently, the best marksman on the planet.

Remarkably, this is not the sequence Ryan North is going to write in this issue that most irritates me.

The spell works, the FF are back, with Crazy Other Sue on their heels. The aliens immediately run away, so now it's everyone against Crazy Other Sue. They goad her into trying something while constructing some invisible reflective sphere around her, and Crazy Other Sue is now Comatose Other Sue. OK, fine, kind of anti-climactic that they beat a being that decked Galactus with the old "reflect your attack back at you," play, but sure. Except now, the FF need the Sorcerer Supreme to send them back across the universe. Because they have to save Galactus.

You made me agree with Maria Hill, Ryan North. I may never forgive you for that. But, hey, Crazy Other Sue compressed part of Big G's chest into a singularity, so there's probably nothing the FF can do. Unless Sue tries bending a lot of light into a laser to try and cut it - as in, the singularity - out of Galactus. And unless Galactus, unable to save himself, still has enough power to give her a boost by temporarily Silver Surfer-ing Sue so she can draw in more light. Whatever, point is, Galactus lives. . .to kill entire worlds full of people in the name of, essentially, being too big to fail.

Can you even cut a depression in space-time "out" of something? Shouldn't any attempt to cut a singularity out of someone with light be thwarted by the fact you'd have to cut close enough the gravity would just gobble up all the light you're using? This was not one of North's stronger efforts, and Ramos' art is nowhere near good enough to distract me from that.

What I Bought 3/25/2026

It was 90 here yesterday, but I will not turn on my air conditioning. Not yet. Plus, it's barely into the 50s today. Lousy Smarch weather. Here's two comics from this week.

Fantastic Four #9, by Ryan North (writer), Humberto Ramos (penciler), Victor Olazaba (inker), Edgar Delgado (colorist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - 

The FF get their tails kicked by Evil Sue and run with their tails between their legs. Galactus gets left behind. Ha! Regular Sue tries to reason with Evil Sue, since fighting her isn't working. Talking doesn't work either. In fact, Evil Sue decides she ought to make another just like her, and Johnny barely manages to cut in before his sister gets the same brain surgery.

Oh, and Earth is being attacked by aliens of some sort. I don't know what they're supposed to be; Ramos just draws them as big purple things with sort-of grasshopper legs. Don't really think that should be such a serious problem just because the FF aren't around. The Avengers and the X-Men deal with aliens, too!

I have to wonder at Evil Sue's motives for wanting to make Regular Sue just like her. If she can do everything, if the rest of the FF are useless, if Galactus is no match for her, what does she need a duplicate for? I kind of hope this isn't a Killing Joke, where she wants to prove anyone that goes through this will end up acting like she does.

I'm toying with the possibility she wants to die, and figures another Sue like her is the only thing strong enough to do it. A death wish wouldn't really track with her notion that she no longer feels guilt, but unless Evil Sue has a very different educational background from Regular Sue, she's not a brain surgeon. How could she be sure she burned out the right part of her brain? She admits she's holding back, that she lets Sue hit her with some attacks to see if she'll go for the kill. She's playing with the rest of the team, just throwing things at them to keep them busy while she tests Regular Sue.

I guess that could just be villain ego. Get to the end and find out Evil Sue is just like Doom, she like monologue and show off too much.

Generation X-23 #2, by Jody Houser (writer), Jacopo Camagni (artist), Erick Arciniega (color artist), Ariana Maher (letterer) - Laura is this how you make friends?

All the teenagers with powers were kids being experimented on in the facility where they currently live. But, as the apparent leader, who calls himself X-Infinite, tells us, one of the test subjects got loose and released some kind of vapor that killed everyone. And X-Infinite is the only witness. Not suspect at all! 

The handful who didn't die stuck around and call it home. They tend to have several powers, as a result of being experimented on, and they all refer to themselves by their experiment numbers. X-73, X-92, and so on. More concerning, X-Infinite insists on referring to Laura as "X-23", despite her repeatedly saying her name is "Laura." Not concerning!

Scout participates in a little training exercise with the others - just enough to give us some general sense what their powers are - until X-73 suddenly starts generating heat. Or fire. Either way, he's not immune and despite Laura's encouragement - to the extent, 'You have to control it!' qualifies - he blows up. And when she wakes up, X-Infinite says she has to answer for his friend's death.

I don't feel like Houser is being particularly subtle that something isn't on the up-and-up with X-Infinite. On the other hand, he isn't wrong that maybe they're safer in this secure facility than accepting Laura's offer to join whatever mutant school is currently available. If they don't think of themselves as mutants, or even if they do but don't particularly want to get missed up in X-Men nonsense, that's their business. Laura doesn't need to be proselytizing. 

Sunday Splash Page #417

"Power-less Pack," in Power Pack (2020) #4, by Ryan North (writer), Nico Leon (artist), Rachelle Rosenberg (color artist), Travis Lanham (letterer)

In 2020, Marvel was going to do another event about government overreach, this time targeted at teen heroes, who would have to either knock off being superheroes, or accept an adult hero as a "mentor." Called Outlawed, the event got kneecapped by the disruptions in distribution (among other things) from COVID.

There were a few tie-ins, but a lot of stuff got canceled. From what I can tell, the most notable moment was Cyclops, now able to remember the time his teenage self was brought to the future, declaring the Champions were under Krakoa's protection. But really, when the best moment in the event involves Cyclops doing something (admittedly) cool, you know it was a bum idea.

That said, besides the Champions, Power Pack were probably the perfect group to put in the crosshairs of this sort of foolishness. Ryan North does have Alex try to argue that, due to time spent traveling the new multiverse (post-Hickman's Secret Wars) with the Future Foundation, he's actually old enough to qualify as a mentor to his siblings, only to be shot down by some bureaucrat fascist on the grounds time dilation due to multiversal travel doesn't count. Although this was around the same time as Rainbow Rowell's Runaways, when Julie was dating Karolina Dean, who was a college student by that point, so it seems like Julie ought to have counted.

But it sets the tone - if the mini-series starting with another Katie-drawn intro to the Power Pack, outlining their powers and general deal didn't do that already - that North may not be taking this entirely seriously. The kids' efforts to find a mentor focus first on Frog Thor - who became a character separate from the "Thor turned into a frog" bit in Simonson's run at some point - and eventually settle on some guy we've never heard of, Agent Aether. Who encourages the kids to use their various powers to generate electricity to help people.

Except Agent Aether's the Wizard, whose machines are actually draining the kids' powers into him. Oh, and he sold the electricity they created to a multinational company to make himself money. In other words, the Wizard finally found his proper level as a villain: A schmuck who cons desperate kids and commits petty fraud. Only took him 60 years, but congrats on finally recognizing his place in the hierarchy.

There's probably something North's pointing out, about how dangerous it is to give an adult responsibility for a kid just because they were able or willing to register an identity in a government database. That's all the Wizard had to do, cook up a fake look and make a show of being helpful. Whoever was in charge of the government department didn't do any sort of vetting, either from laziness or understaffing. 'He's an adult, wears a costume, good enough. Next!'

Still, the Wizard's an idiot, so all it takes is the kids, with some help from Wolverine, pretending they actually had more power than he thought, to goad him into throwing them back in his machines, which they reversed ahead of time, so they'd drain the powers back out of him. Continuing with the notion of North not taking this seriously, Logan responds to a written request left at the Krakoan Embassy by showing up at the Powers' home, where the kids claim he's a special tutor who helps kids from early elementary to college. Their dad remarks he looks just like that X-Man, Wolverine, but is otherwise OK with "Professor Brucie Mansworth" tutoring his kids.

Maybe North's point wasn't how half-baked most attempts to "protect" children via government intervention are, but that parents are incredibly stupid and nobody should be procreating? Anyway,  to sell the notion the kids still have powers, Logan stages a battle against them as "Wolvermean", Wolverine's evil twin (which Leon and Rosenberg depict as a palette-swapped, arts-and-crafts version of Logan's costume.) The battle ends up televised, with the scroll at the bottom wondering if violent video games are helping kids be better at fighting crime? I enjoyed all of that, found it hilarious.

There is some nonsense in the fourth issue about how, when the Wizard drained their powers, some part of his selfish, misanthropic nature leached into the kids. Julie posits this because Katie is angry adults put them in this position. Plus, she tried to fry the Wizard with the last bit of power she had and nearly killed a forklift driver. But, Katie's got good reason to be pissed.

And not just at the Wizard. The intro was part of her plan to finally tell their parents about their powers (North references her previous plan to do this in the mini-series we looked at last week, which may be one of the only times I've seen those mini-series get referenced by something in-continuity, for whatever value that term has at Marvel these days), and Katie got overruled by her siblings again. Now her powers were stolen by a bad guy that only got his hooks in them because of poorly thought out nanny state bullshit, and her siblings are dismissing her feelings, telling her she doesn't really feel that way. That seems like a bird turd cherry atop a cow shit sundae.

That said, the generally lighter tone lets Leon add in a bunch of humorous touches. The Asgardians have a sign that tell visitors, no, they don't know where Frog Thor is, and are insulted you think he's an acceptable substitute for their ruler. The Wizard's HQ has hand-drawn plans for how he'll beat other villains, like Juggernaut, with his new powers. He might be a worse artist than Katie, so I guess he didn't swipe that along with her powers. The team beat Taskmaster and Jack and Katie can't resist poking him with sticks while he's down. Each issue is from a different kid's perspective, and Jack filters a lot of his perception through his dream of having a social media account dedicated to his adventures. So we get panels of Alex using his powers presented as videos to click on, with titles like, 'BLACK HOLE IN BROOKLYN??? Video footage PROVES it happened!'

What I Bought 2/18/2026 - Part 1

I was, by process of elimination, thrown into this stupid work group last year, for people who lead without actually being in leadership positions. I have no business being there, no idea what I'm supposed to be bringing to it, or taking from it. Which is not a huge surprise, considering the guy who I'm positive came up with it uses idiotic phrases like, "people leaders." As in, "consult with your unit's people leaders." What is that phrase supposed to convey that just saying "leaders" wouldn't? We don't have any dogs or robots at my job!

I'd do my job a lot better if they'd just leave me to it. 

Fantastic Four #8, by Ryan North (writer), Humberto Ramos (penciler), Victor Olazaba (inker), Edgar Delgado (colorist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - Sue is rocking a spiked outfit! Be on alert, but also get some popcorn in case she's finally ready to off Reed.

Most of this issue revolves around the notion that a universe is so vast, that you don't even need parallel universes for the same situations or people to occur more than once. So in another section of the 616-universe, there is another Earth-like planet, with homo sapiens-looking folks, including 4 exposed to cosmic rays who develop familiar powers. I mean, OK, seems a bit much to be that similar, but maybe it'll turn out to be another world of Skrulls convinced they're Earthlings.

But in this world, this Sue twigged to the fact her powers go beyond being invisible much sooner, and Reed encourages her to explore the full potential of what she can manipulate. Which seems to be pretty much anything. Magnetism, gravity, electromagnetic energy all that jazz.

Seems groovy, until this Sue has a nightmare of being besieged by enemies. And the fighting she does in her nightmare, translates to the real world. Her forcefields cut off this sorta-Earth from heat, and kills everyone. Except Johnny. There wasn't anyone else with heat powers on this sorta-Earth? Whatever, Sue hides in her guilt for a while, until she convinces Johnny to let her use his heat to perform a little brain surgery on herself.

Props to Ramos on that image, which will no doubt replace the whale in my nightmares. Now she doesn't feel bad about killing every human! Things went downhill from there, and the FF are about to find out just how downhill as they find a battered Galactus and the so-called "Invincible Woman."

Can you actually disable the portion of your brain that feels guilt or regret, but still feel joy, as this other Sue declares? Or is it just the absence of the pain, after weeks of dealing with it, translated by whatever's left of her brain as joy? And does that really mean she'd start going around, attacking people? Although it's a good beat Galactus tried eating her Earth, in which case the FF should really step aside and let this Sue finish Galactus off. Cosmic consonance, my ass.

What I Bought 1/21/2026

Similar to my 2024 watch-through of all the movies I owned, I decided to go through all my anime this year. Which has been fun. It had been at least a decade since the last time I watched Azumanga Daioh or Cowboy Bebop. I'm working through Desert Punk at the moment, which is mostly confirming my memory that buying Desert Punk was a mistake. 

Fantastic Four #7, by Ryan North (writer), Humberto Ramos (penciler), Victor Olazaba and JP Mayer (inkers), Edgar Delgado (colorist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - Why have the sleeves of the outfit stop partway up the arm? Makes it look like the unstable molecules shrank in the washing machine.

The FF conclude they have to go see what's up with Galactus, that he sent this message. Which involves building a faster-than-light ship that Ramos draws as very 1950s flying saucer. But since they won't be bringing the kids or Alicia along, they need someone to look after them. So each member of the team picks someone to get a teleport bracelet that can bring them to the kids if there's trouble. And there is, from the Mad Thinker, who also decoded the message and decides to attack as soon as the FF depart.

It's definitely the more nuanced approach that Nicieza took with M.T. in the first volume of New Warriors, but reducing the Mad Thinker to a guy attacking kids with killer robots for revenge is really lame. If North established this is part of some larger goal, clearing the deck of an obstacle so he can get at resources Reed has, that would be one thing. But revenge is just so, petty, and lacking in any gain in knowledge.

But that's the plot we've got, so with the robots designed to counter anything the kids can manage, Franklin calls in the cavalry. We see Johnny ask Wyatt Wingfoot, and Sue asks Felicia (though she admits this would usually be a She-Hulk situation.) I'm assuming Ben asked Wolverine and Reed asked Carol Danvers? Can't really see it the other way around. And, because the Thinker predicted the FF would ask these 4 specific people, the quartet gets taken out in less than a page.

That pitiful showing is all to set up the big twist. This issue is narrated by the Thing, though he admits he only learned about the stuff with the Thinker after the fact. Throughout the issue, he makes reference to a lunch date he was worried about missing. As it turns out, it was with a bunch of third-rate villains that Ben has shown kindness to over the years, whether that's giving them a ride home instead of to the police station, or just not clobbering them.

So he made a request to look after his family, and they dogpile the Mad Thinker. The point is something about guys like the Thinker believing it's always one person alone, but it's really about the connections you make, but I'm left thinking how embarrassing it is for Wolverine and Captain Marvel that they got trounced by a guy who just lost to 8-Ball, the Melter (I think), Frog-Man, and some guy named Pulverizer. And 8-Ball's nominally a good guy now, can he even hang out at villain bars? For that matter, when did Frog-Man go bad? His dad was the crook!

What I Bought 12/3/2025 - Part 2

Thursday last week, my car wouldn't start. And I was supposed to meet my coworkers at one of our work vehicles at a specific time. Not being certain they'd check their office phones beforehand, I was left to bike to work. Which I've done before, but not when it's 15 degrees (-9 Celsius). And then there was still the mess of trying to get home, get a new battery, install the new battery, which resulted in my losing two hex nuts somewhere underneath the engine. Just an exhausting day.

Batgirl #14, by Tate Brombal (writer), Stephen Segovia (artist), Rain Beredo (colorist), Tom Napolitano (letterer) - Fighting ninjas under the stars with a woman you unsuccessfully tried to blow up once. How. . .inconvenient?

The attack is kind of a mess, as everyone seems to have their own irons in the fire. Cass' attempt to kill Kalden is interrupted by Tenji, Kalden somehow unaware of all this when the art makes it look like Cass was already on the downward arc of her leap, sword drawn, when deflected. Then Cassandra veers off again, because she spots their shapeshifter ally trying to steal the holy seed pods of the blue poppies for Nyssa. Again, how shocking the al'Ghul was not open about her plans. Then Tenji spots something down a dark tunnel (we aren't shown what) that spooks him, but he gets spotted.

End result? Angel Breaker does manage to blow up a supply of the blue flowers, though I'm dubious it's all of them, and Cass cuts up the seed pods so Nysssa won't get those. But there's a mole in the ranks, and the Unburied still have some big plan they'll get to eventually.

Amid all this, Cassandra is being hounded by a vision of her mother. Encouraging her to take revenge, to abandon her brother when he's overwhelmed. And as they flee, with chaos on their heels and the folks just carving out an existence in this cave system, Shiva calls Cass a Destroyer. I would think Cass knows about hallucinations, but she keeps acting like this is actually Shiva. Getting surprised when she decides to respond, and Shiva's not around. So I don't know if this is guilt, or something one of the Unburied is doing to her.

If it is an attack, what's the goal? Wreck her confidence, drive her nuts, make her a truly lethal weapon Either way, she is definitely drawing a lot of blood with that sword of Shiva's, which is not encouraging.

Fantastic Four #6, by Ryan North (writer), Humberto Ramos (penciler), Victor Olazaba (inker), Edgar Delgado (colorist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - Another day, another batch of tentacles swarming from a hole in the air.

As per the solicitation, aliens show up with a device to stop Earth's rotations, creating extreme environmental conditions they love. The Invisible Woman handles that in 6 pages by tricking them into retreating by making it look like she can do the same thing, easily, with her powers. This brings Maria Hill - 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Sorry about that, reflex. She has an offer for the FF to help build a new version of SHIELD, focused on helping people with superpowers figure out how to use them to make the world a better place. Which, as everyone in the conversation notes, sounds a lot less like SHIELD, and more like Hickman's "Future Foundation." Also, not clear on why the FF need any help to start that up again.

Around the dinner table, the FF for some reason debate whether to trust Maria Hill - BOOOOOOOOO! - who has never had an idea that actually worked or, for that matter, one that was worth a damn. Thankfully, the Wizard breaks into their lab, freeing us from Ryan North's attempts to get me to take M - that character seriously. Even having hacked all Reed's stuff, the Wizard barely lasts any longer than the aliens. Because he's a loser. Reed can't figure out how the Wizard could break his encryptions, as they're somehow based on cosmic background radiation to generate truly random numbers.

Yeah, man, I don't know. Might as well say a sorcerer generates the numbers. Point being, the radiation is somehow not random any longer, and there's a message in it. From Galactus. About Sue.

Not a great issue for Ben. He can't clobber the aliens' machine. Hill - BOOOOOOO! - dismisses him as the only member of the Four that couldn't end all life on the planet. Excuse you, the Thing could definitely punch a dormant super-volcano hard enough to make it erupt, causing a mass extinction event! And then he gets sucker-punched by the FF's old robot receptionist, which Ramos depicts as having knocked off a chunk of Ben's rocky hide. Based on where she punched him, I thought she's knocked off part of his jaw, but apparently not, so I have no idea where it came from. 

What I Bought 11/12/2025

I read something recently that prompted me to try and create a master list of every movie I've watched, arranged by the year they came out. So far, that's just been me going back through the blog archives (I'm working backwards and finished 2008.) I forgot how many incredibly shitty movies I watched on Netflix in the late 2010s/early 2020s, but also how many movies I watched in the second half of 2011, when I was mostly at my dad's house and there wasn't much else to do. Also the swings between eras. 2011 and 2010, I watched a crapload of movies from the '70s and earlier, very little from the 2000s. 2008 and 2009, almost all stuff from the 2000s.

Fantastic Four #5, by Ryan North (writer), Humberto Ramos (penciler), Victor Olazaba (inker), Edgar Delgado (colorist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - Like anybody would bother to steal HERBIE.

Ben, Reed and Johnny are off on fishing trip in the Negative Zone, and Sue and Alicia have scarcely even got to relax when Felicia Hardy is at the door, surrounded by cops and covered in blood, asking for help. Felicia was dropping things off in a safety deposit box, and when she stepped out of the vault, tripped over the corpse of the bank teller (a pleasant man named Teller.) The cameras there were down for repair, there's only one access, and that means passing 3 guards, but Felicia insists she is innocent. Sue, reluctantly, for Spider-Man's sake, agrees to help.

(Also, Felicia knows Spider-Man is currently in outer space, which I didn't think was common knowledge since Norman Osborn is running around dressed up as Spidey trying to fight crime.)

One of the guards is willing to talk, after work, but then she gets fired. Not for talking to Sue, but because the guards agree with Felicia, that she was only in the vault for five minutes. But the cameras upstairs, still functional, show 15 minutes passed before Felicia and the guards' brought their Keystone Kops routine upstairs. So they must have been in on it. Sue can't see the logic in all this, committing a heist for such a paltry return and getting caught in the process, but doesn't really want to believe the Black Cat's actually innocent.

Until the time discrepancy element, I figured size-changing. Sue got in easily enough with invisibility, but someone shrinking down seemed more probable (and might explain the limited haul, if they can only shrink so much mass.) As it turns out, the culprit was actually the camera repair guy, using a busted gun of Kang's he bought and repaired the best he could, i.e., enough so it would send people 10 minutes into the future. Teller was in a little restroom behind his desk and outside the radius of the weapon, so he had to drew the short straw of getting killed.  It's a little weird of a solution, but I can appreciate playing off the notion of how much weird crap gets left lying around for people to tinker with.

The big turn in the issue was Alicia convincing Sue she probably wasn't being entirely fair towards Felicia. I don't know if I buy Alicia's argument. Felicia had some bad hands dealt her, but also dealt herself some bad hands. Like asking the Kingpin to help her get powers. I'd agree that Sue has hardly interacted with the Black Cat enough to have an informed opinion, and maybe that's the key point. Both Alicia and Sue are basically going off what they're heard about her, and choosing to view that in a particular light.

End result, Sue encourages the now-vindicated Felicia to hang out with her and Alicia, and the three of them leave for Vegas the moment the guy's return from the fishing trip. It makes more sense than Sue inviting Emma Frost to her birthday party.

What I Bought 10/23/2025 - Part 2

I noticed a few weeks ago the Roku Channel brought Hardcastle & McCormick back, so I decided to binge watch it before they pulled it again. I did not remember them trying to use a different opening theme song the first half of Season 2. It was terrible, better suited for Family Ties or Growing Pains, some happy family sitcom shit.

Fantastic Four #4, by Ryan North (writer), Humberto Ramos (penciler), Victor Olazaba (inker), Edgar Delgado (colorist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - I'm not at all clear what's going on with Johnny's flaming hand? Was he making bunny fingers, and that's what got Ben riled?

The FF have gotten themselves another dog. Except Alicia isn't so sure that's correct. When she touches "Jellybean", for just a moment, everything feels wrong. Then, nope, nevermind, it's a cute little dog. Of course it is!

Still, Alicia's unease leads her to ask Reed about how something could mentally convince others it was harmless-looking. Which leads Reed into a long spiel about the part of out brain that recognizes faces, but also makes us see faces in other things. And then he builds a machine to block that part of the brain, and their dog turns out to be the pink tentacle thing on the cover. Who is just one of an entire invasion, an invasion abruptly canceled once Reed projects the effect over the entire planet.

So North is back to the clever one-and-dones. About time. Ramos makes the alien suitably creepy-looking, though it's really some of Alicia's expressions that sell it. The almost rictus grin she gets as it winds around her arm, asserting that message in her head that she's touching a cute little dog. Like someone asked you what you thought of their latest piece of art, and you're trying to be polite while internally screaming.

Later, after Alicia's conversation with Reed, when the alien has put more focus into keeping her under control, you get a glimpse of her face when Reed turns on his device. The alien practically blankets her, and she's wearing this blank-faced smile, even as the others freak out. Ramos' face always look strange to me, so he and North might as well put that to good use.

Moon Knight: Fist of Khonshu #13, by Jed MacKay (writer), Domenico Carbone (artist), Rachelle Rosenberg (color artist), Cory Petit (letterer) -  The only cover the shop I stopped at had was a variant of Moon Knight being shocked or unnerved by what he was seeing in Marvel's new, "Red Band" Punisher book. Which is just silly. Marc may not be cutting dude's faces off these days, but he hasn't forgotten what it was like to do that.

Marc and Layla sit in on some sort of group therapy session where, among other things, a fireman describes coming across the Wrecker rampaging, killing, kicking Dr. Strange's ass. The Wrecker, when confronted with all this, pulls the, "I was possessed" card. New crowbar, yadda yadda. And he admits he's probably killed others, but why aren't any of those others haunting him? Only the ones from this specific rampage?

Which sends Marc and Layla looking for Dr. Strange, but he's off in Asgard, so will Clea do? Or maybe that should be, will Clea do something? She's not real interested in helping a murderer who hurt Stephen escape being haunted, but she'll help them see the world like magicians do.

Rosenberg keeps all the buildings and most of the people in plain black-and-white, but Marc and Layla are brightly colored, and there are all sorts of sprites, spirits, something around that are also colorful. Carbone draws them like a clay sculpture that as only halfway molded before the artist got distracted. A distinct limb or facial feature, but the rest a lump.

The search leads to a house, and inside the house is the firefighter from the help group. I'm not sure if Marc was supposed to know him from somewhere else or what. Also, he says it took years of study to be able to command the dead, but the story being referenced was in a volume of Dr. Strange that started in 2019. Which yes, is 7 years ago for us, but with how Marvel time operates, it's not that long ago. Even if you figure Krakoa was hosting Hellfire Galas annually, Krakoa lasted maybe 3 years. So was this firefighter guy actually planning this long before the Wrecker's rampage, or should I just deal with the uncertainty of Marvel's timeline? 

What I Bought 9/17/2025

The local store had 1 of the 2 comics from this week. I take it as a win. In other news, I picked up another on-sale game off the Playstation Store, 890B. What a pile of crap. Walk slowly through a messy office (except on the one occasion the game lets you run because it's a timed thing), listening to stilted and unnatural dialogue. Your character keeps wondering why there's a head in his office. It's his office, shouldn't he know?

This game gives you an Achievement basically as soon as you take two steps, meaning it is what The Stanley Parable was mocking. I got to a point where to progress, I had to repair an electronic door lock via a series of well, you remember that game Snakes? You could play it on graphing calculators. Where you guide the increasingly long dark line through the gameplay area, picking up items without hitting the walls or your tail? It's that, seven times in a row before you can advance.

I did not advance, and for a game this bad, I'm going back to the old school. X-Play style, I give 890B, a 0 out of 5. Even for a buck-and-a-half, it was a waste of money, and this is as much of a review as it deserves.

Fantastic Four #3, by Ryan North (writer), Humberto Ramos (penciler), Victor Olazaba (inker), Edgar Delgado (colorist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - Doom's reached critical mass.

The Time Sled reaches an earlier version of the FF chilling in Arizona, and Sue managed to use her forcefields to beat Braille into the hull explaining Doom's trick (and we see some earlier points in this whole "World Under Doom" where the heroes actually got the upper hand and Doom went back to an earlier point and countered it the next time.) They figure out where the machine Doom's using is hidden, in Antarctica, which provides time for a gag about Johnny ditching his winter gear (which Reed didn't make of unstable molecules) so he doesn't deprive whoever is around of seeing his pecs.

They try to smash the machine, it doesn't stay smashed. Doom shows up, looking kind of pudgy. Did he stuff a bunch of newspaper inside his armor for insulation? Sue and Ben try to fight him, while Reed and Johnny figure out a way around the machine being bound to time itself. Meaning, actually destroy the machine, destroy space-time. Johnny gets an idea, communicates it to Reed via Sue and fire made of hydrogen(?)

Basically, when things start to turn against Doom and he goes to load an earlier point in time, he just keeps getting the exact moment he's trying to escape. In this case, the Thing punching his iron mask off. Doom won't give up, so he keeps enduring the moment, trying to figure out a workaround, until his machine burns itself out. Which I guess circumvents the whole, "breaking time" thing. Ramos and North convey Doom's efforts through a page of the same panel, repeated again and again in increasing numbers on each row until you can't distinguish them any longer.

The thing is, Doom could just stop trying to avoid getting his mask punched off and keep fighting from that point. Deny the Accursed Four any taste of satisfaction over the indignity. But this is Doom, so he won't let it go, not even as a short-term slight he can avenge in the long-term. Although oddly enough, when North did a story a couple of years ago about Doom trying again and again to produce a better outcome via time travel, Doom eventually concluded he couldn't and stopped pursuing that thread.

Either way, no more do-overs, and I think North is finally done with tie-ins to the event and can get back to just doing the kind of stories he was doing earlier.

What I Bought 8/13/2025

Youtube has apparently implemented some new "AI" that, if it decides you're under 18, will automatically put your account under the age-restricted guidelines. And the only way to get that unlocked is by submitting your photo id or something similar. Which gives them your personal data to sell, or just as likely, lose the next time they get hacked. I imagine the "intelligence" is probably the same one that mysteriously decides some post I made on the blog 8 years ago just now has violated community guidelines.

This is a world of the dumbest hucksters inflicting their useless bullshit on the rest of us, non-stop.

Fantastic Four #2, by Ryan North (writer), Humberto Ramos (penciler), Victor Olazaba (inker) Edgar Delgado (colorist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - Ben's under dinosaur attack, Sue's in a barren landscape, Johnny's surrounded by lava, Reed's. . .in a pleasant, grassy field. Ryan North is doing nothing to dispel my "Reed Richards is Gladstone Gander" theory.

Sue can't find the "Forever Stone", so she's trapped on an Earth with no water, and a Sun on the verge of cooking her if she can't find cover. Back in the Middle Ages, Reed figures that if Sue hasn't found him yet, it's because she can't find the stone, so he undertakes an elaborate and frankly ridiculous plan to create a worldwide map to guide her, even in the far future.

My main issue is, I don't get how the Stone survived 7 billion years without being pushed back into the mantle via tectonic drift and melted. But it didn't, and inside the Stone is a device that will call the Time Sled (which they named "ROSEBUD-1"), so Sue can rescue her family. Then it's back to 2025 to attack Doom just seconds after he flings them through time. They're doing it, they're going to win! Doom's going down, and Reed's explaining what they did and -

Having apparently taken inspiration from Hickman's retcon to Moira, Doom used magic to set up a way to rewind to an earlier point, where only he remembers how the FF beat him. So they can't beat him that way again. As it kicks in, Sue is able to send the Time Sled to their home in Arizona, at some point before this mess began, which is going to be relevant somehow.

On the one hand, Doom accusing someone else of showing off their intelligence is hilarious. On the other, the fact he keeps winning because Reed can't help explaining everything is hilarious. It's Syndrome's "You caught me monologuing!" line from The Incredibles, except it's the good guy getting caught. That said, North already did an issue where Doom keeps resetting time over and over in an attempt to produce a more favorable outcome (the issue where he tries to remove the need for Reed sending the kids, including Doom's godchild, and their home a year into the future to stop Annihilus.) He's got Sorcerer Supreme magic now, and I guess he thinks that'll make the difference, but obviously it's not. At some point, they're going to keep winning, and he's going to, do something.

What I Bought 8/4/2025 - Part 3

I'm taking most of this week off. From work, I mean. Not the blog. Never the blog. The blog is life. The blog is everything. . .

Where was I? It's Fantastic Four and adjacent books day!

Fantastic Four #1, by Ryan North (writer), Humberto Ramos (artist), Victor Olazaba (color artist), Travis Lanham (letterer) - I got the Cliff Chiang variant. Same price as the regular cover, so why not?

The FF have their powers back and are taking the fight to Doom (still Emperor of the World, being carried down the boulevard on a throne by a bunch of Doombots.) Doom gets annoyed enough, he casts each member of the team through time, where they'll have to find certain crystals and stop horrible monsters from - no, wait, that was the TimeSplitters' games.

Johnny's over 500 million years into the past, with oxygen levels 20% of today's. Ben's under attack from dinosaurs. Lots of dinosaurs. Large ones, not a pack of velociraptors or something of the size you'd expect would team up to kill something his size. Ramos also sticks to the classic "scaly lizard" look. Not sure I've seen a comic artist that drew dinosaurs with feathers yet. Ramos does seem to have dialed back the "dislocated jaw" exaggerated anatomy I remember, which is nice. Maybe drawing characters less prone to acrobatics than Spider-Man got him to rein it in.

Reed's somewhere in Europe during the 1200s, and doesn't it just figure Reed gets sent to the time it would be easiest to survive. Even Doom is giving Accursed Richards the best hand. The team's plan seems to rest on some piece of rock they call the Forever Stone, some piece of rock that Reed's somehow kept track of its location throughout history. Each team member marks their time period and initial, and you can find them. if you have a time machine.

Too bad three-quarters of the team are in the past, and Sue's so far in the future the Sun's about to swallow the planet. The "forever" stone doesn't even seem to exist, let alone any way to get home. So everybody's going to die, most of them soon. Except Reed, who gets to live out his existence in the Middle Ages. Relatively speaking, everything's coming up roses for him. I assume the workaround is Alicia and the kids saw what happened, went to the Forever Stone in the present, and will mount a rescue of the ones they can find.

The Thing #3, by Tony Fleecs (writer), Justin Mason (artist), Alex Sinclair (color artist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - I can't see Diamondback taking part in trying to kill the Thing, I don't care how big a bounty Kingpin put on him.

The warehouse exploded, but the missing girl, Sara, emerges unharmed, which is suspicious. No sign of Marty, but Ben's got to get the kid clear of Hammerhead and Bullseye, who tries throwing a license plate at the Thing at one point. At least Fleecs isn't going out of his way to make Bullseye look smart. 

Fisk puts a big bounty on the Thing's head, which brings us up to the point where the mini-series started. Sara needed to rest, so they take a breather on a rooftop. Too bad a big orange rock guy is pretty conspicuous, so Ben wakes up to find himself under attack by the Wrecking Crew!

Who he handles pretty easily. Not as easily as Bullseye, but it feels like Fleecs is writing is as though all the power is in Wrecker's crowbar. Which I know is magic, or enchanted, but he's pretty strong without it, I thought. He fights Thor, solo. Granted, he always loses, but it's not a cakewalk for ol' Goldilocks. The others aren't on the same level, but they aren't just regular guys. But I guess the point is that Ben's not going to hold back against guys who don't mind attacking him while he's trying to protect a kid, and that means they've got no chance.

Also feels like Mason went more cartoonish with his art in this issue, or maybe just looser with the pencils. Might be because the Thing spends most of the issue fighting, and that helps with the sense of movement and energy, or just the way the fight played out. The Thing swipes Wrecker's crowbar at one point, then clocks him in the face with it, and later throws it at the Crew as they run away and bonks Piledriver with it. The tone is a lot different from when he was trying to reason with Gladiator or Bullseye.