Sunday Splash Page #299

 

"Ringside Seat," in Lady Rawhide #3, by Eric Trautmann (writer), Milton Estevam (artist), Dinei Ribeiro (colorist), Marshall Dillon (letterer)

Don McGregor did a second Lady Rawhide series the year after the first. With black-and-white art by Esteban Maroto, and a story involving a sexy lady pirate (who uses a rusty sword so she can kill you with just a scratch), plus a passenger who turns out to be a vampire (who saves Lady Rawhide from blood poisoning by drinking her blood.) More adult in tone, for a given value of that term. Like something you might see in a Marvel black-and-white or Vampirella magazine in the '70s.

The book abruptly stopped at 5 issues, I'm guessing due to financial issues, and that was it for Lady Rawhide. Until Dynamite picked up Zorro again in the early 2010s, and she got another 5-issue mini-series.

Eric Trautmann sets the book somewhat later in time, as there are already trains, six-shot revolvers, and early Gatling guns present in the Mexico. There's a brief mention of Anita's brother being blinded by Monasterio over suspicion of being Zorro, but the idea is that, by this time, she's doing the vigilante thing for herself. Adrenaline junkie. This version of Lady Rawhide's more confident, more experienced. Has her own reputation among the soldiers and the people, has her own hideout and a servant/assistant who can't speak (due to a close encounter with a noose). She has her own foil among the soldiers, a Capitan Reyes, who, unlike Monasterio, is an honorable man who tries to do his duty without cruelty or needless violence.

The gist of the story seems to be that things are shifting to extremes. The business of Mexico has attracted interests from outside the country (read: the United States), and they don't care if being brutal incites violence, so long as they get their money. And so they have their own agents, who don't balk at firing at churches or crowds of protesting peasants if its eliminates a threat.

Simultaneously, there's an entire vigilante group of women called the Sisters of the White Rose, who are set on flipping the board entirely. Violently eliminate corrupt governors and kill the soldiers. Leave behind any members who can't make it on their own. To them, someone like Lady Rawhide, who fights injustices as she finds them and redistributes hoarded food and medicine to people in need, is still an enemy. She's trying to address inequities of the system from within, rather than tearing it down and starting over. Too extreme for the people in control, not extreme enough for the ones trying to take control.

Sunday Splash Page #298

 

"Riposte", in Lady Rawhide (vol. 1) #5, by Don McGregor (writer), Mike Mayhew (penciler), Jimmy Palmiotti (inker), Steve Buccelato and Company (colorists), Kenny Lopez (letterer)

As someone who bought a lot of Topps baseball cards when I was younger, it's strange to think of them as publishing comics, but here we are. Looking over the history, it's mostly licensed stuff. Xena, X-Files, Jurassic Park, Mars Attacks.

Other than X-Files, which ran 42(!) issues, it's mostly mini-series, but Zorro made it an even dozen, if you count the zero issue. In issue 3, Don McGregor introduced Lady Rawhide, a costumed vigilante that hated Capitan Monastario for blinding her brother, but had no great love for Zorro, either. She might have thought he was hot, but that's entirely different.

That's all background for this mini-series, where Anita Santiago and her aunt have traveled to San Francisco to stay with an old acquaintance, while Anita investigates whether rumored herbs might be able to help her brother. Although Mayhew draws the brother's injuries in flashback as less a burn around the eyes, and more something spread across the face. Lot of boils or blisters, part of the mustache gone, and the caption boxes say he suffered partial paralysis of the face. Maybe that's meant as Anita's memory of what he looked like in the immediate aftermath, filtered through her horror at what happened, or her present anger at Monastario.

Anyway, the story is not about Lady Rawhide's Search for Some Good Weed, but her hunt for a serial killer stalking the town and targeting women. She rescued a doctor from an anchored Russian ship, as the mob singled him out, but that won't do any good if she can't find the true killer.

McGregor layers in the mystery of the killer around her hosts, as Don Rafael is up to something that takes him out of the hacienda at night, and leads to much shouting between he and his wife. But the wife's also a crack shot. But their son likes to go off in the woods alone to hunt. This is all set against Anita's efforts to investigate without appearing an improper young woman. At least, when she's not dying her hair crimson and leaping around swordfighting in that outfit.

McGregor has several character comment on the outfit, but also notes on page 1 of the first issue that's exactly what Anita was going for: a distraction. But also that it's better suited for Los Angeles' climate than San Francisco's chilly air. And she made herself some chaps for when she's riding a horse to avoid chafing. Mayhew draws them as huge, fluffy things, like what you'd see a character wearing on a dude ranch for kicks, rather than what a vaquero would traditionally wear. But with her costume lacking pants entirely, maybe the extra padding's necessary. 

The story ends with more than one mystery solved, but not much in the way of happy resolutions.

Zorro 3.4 - Auld Acquaintance

Plot: The soldiers are having a high time in the tavern as they await the stage that will bring them their pay for the last six months. Which adds up to 5000 pesos. And it's those pesos that are of interest to the two newest arrivals to Los Angeles, Ramon Castillo and his friend, Marcos. But then Ramon sees something else that catches his interest: Bernardo. Bernardo saw him too, and tries to leave, but is waylaid. Before things can get heated, Alejandro arrives and Ramon turns on the charm, claiming to be an old friend of Diego's from Spain. So Alejandro invites both men to dinner at the hacienda.

Back at home, Bernardo rushes in to warn Diego, but they miss each other in the secret passages. Bernardo does learn of their guests' plan to rob the payroll. As it turns out, Ramon and Diego were rivals in Spain, and Diego is the only man ever to best Ramon in a swordfight, one which cost Ramon the royal championship trophy. He never got a rematch, and he wants one. Diego and Alejandro are prepared to drive their dinner guests away with swords, until Bernardo explains what he heard. Then they figure it's better to keep them here. Marcos has already left, his eyes solely on the cash prize, but Ramon is convinced to stay by a combination of Diego agreeing to the match (while still pretending to be a klutz), and the promise of a lovely lady guest, Isabella. Once they've got him sticking around, Bernardo tries messing with the clock, but does it incompetently. So Diego agrees to the match, but then Bernardo saves him from that by pretending to be the mission bell ringing 10.

It's not enough to deter the robbers, as Ramon and Marcos promptly sneak into the cuartel, overpower the guard, trap the other lancers in their rooms, and force Garcia to hand over the money. As they exit the office, Zorro yanks the cash away with his whip, and sets to fighting Ramon (Marcos is occupied with that guard from the front gate). The swordfight goes on awhile, but Ramon is disarmed. He doesn't take the hint and tries to continue the fight with a lance, but the soldiers have gotten free and everyone must scatter. Zorro does return the money to the sergeant before departing.

The following morning, Marcos is ready to get out of Dodge, but Ramon is not. He is certain Diego is Zorro, as Diego was the only many ever to disarm him previously. Also, Ramon knows Bernardo could hear just fine in Spain, yet know he is deaf. He tries to convince Garcia of this, without success, though much laughter. So Ramon takes advantage. He offers 20-to-1 odds he can prove Diego is Zorro. He and Marcos will pretend to rob the tavern, while the lancers wait outside. Zorro will enter to save the day, the lancers will catch him, unmask him, and there you go. Garcia finds the whole thing amusing at first, but grows nervous enough to ask Diego if he is Zorro. Which is how Diego learns of the whole plan, and offers his own help fighting Zorro alongside the sergeant. Of course, once Garcia sees Diego with a sword in his hand, he decides it would be safer to lock Diego in his room. Which gives Diego the perfect out to escape via the chimney (with an assist from Bernardo), and for Zorro to confront Ramon. By this point, Ramon and Marcos have decided they'll just take the bet money and continue on to South America as planned. It doesn't work out, as Ramon loses to Zorro again, and as a further insult, is left at swordpoint held by the innkeeper. And then Diego twists the knife. With the innkeeper's back to him, he unmasks so Ramon, and only Ramon, sees it. In the cuartel, Ramon is certain he will be vindicated, because if Diego is Zorro, Ramon won the bet, and he can't steal money he'd already won. Unfortunately for him, Diego made it back to the room, and Ramon and Marcos are off to jail.

Quote of the Episode: Ramon - 'I have learned a few things since those days. I just want to see if he has.'

Times Zorro Marks a "Z": 0 (3 overall).

Other: Ramon is played by none other than Ricardo Montalban, bringing his usual style and flair to the proceedings. Isabella is played by Suzanne Lloyd, who was Raquel Toledano, the duplicitous wife of Captain Toledano (the only commanding officer, interim Commandante Garcia excepted, Los Angeles had who was both honest and lived longer than five minutes).

Poor Ramon, the trophy he coveted is corroding at the bottom of the port, since Diego had Bernardo pitch all his fencing trophies once they heard what Monastario was up to.

I really enjoy the interplay between Montalban and Ross Martin, who plays Marcos. They banter back and forth very well. Marcos is extremely fixated on money, but it makes him a bit more practical. He's not getting waylaid by worrying about some rematch. His, 'he beat you to win it, he could beat you to keep it,' line was good (and precedes the one I chose as quote of the episode). Also the exchange where Marcos comments on the money again, and Ramon chides him for not knowing there are more important things than money. Marcos replies that he knows that, and those more important things cost a lot of money. I have to say, as a nefarious dynamic duo, I much prefer these two to those brothers with the bolas who worked for the Eagle in season 1 stealing church artifacts in South America.

They used that reversed shot of Tornado vaulting the downed tree and mostly missing the cacti again this week. They also added a door in the secret passage behind the sala Bernardo had to open before reaching the spiral staircase. And when Zorro arrived to prevent the theft of the payroll, the used footage of him climbing in a window from Tornado's back (which I think was originally from when he snuck into Garcia's room), and then he's on the roof of the office when Ramon and Marcos emerge. Perhaps it was faster than climbing over the wall, though that's hardly stopped anyone before.

I'm guessing the fireplace in the sergeant's room doesn't get much use, or Diego would have looked pretty bad when the sergeant opened the door for him. Unless that's why he delayed coming out, last-second soot removal. I chuckled at Diego hinting strongly to the sergeant he should lock Diego up, then having to play along with the sergeant's attempt at deception. 'I had one of the walls whitewashed! Oh, well in that case. . .'

Pretty impressive of Garcia to knock a door clean off its hinges, while tied to a chair.

That brings us to the end of my Zorro reviews. I think Monastario might still be my favorite recurring villain, but I enjoyed how long they were willing to wait before actually bringing the Eagle into the picture himself during that story. And the second season allowed for a lot of different characters, some of which maybe wouldn't have been great as long-term additions, but for a single, short arc, worked quite well. Uncle Estevan and Ricardo, the practical joker, spring to mind. Having Alejandro reveal he knew Diego was Zorro maybe didn't change things overtly as much as I thought it would, but it did seem to contribute to a gradual crumbling of the barriers between Diego and Zorro. It never fell all the way apart, but it was an interesting undercurrent in the second season.

Next week, we move to a series set somewhat closer to the present, but in a different part of the world. I kind of miscalculated when this would wrap up, so I didn't have any of my other TV series DVDs handy (I had been planning to do either Newsradio or Avatar: The Last Airbender). So instead, something I borrowed from my dad.

Zorro 3.3 - The Postponed Wedding

Plot: Diego and Bernardo are in town, with Diego carrying a doll for some reason. Concurrently, two men ride into town and enter the tavern. They start to question the waitress, but she's distracted by Diego, who wants to know if the stage from Santa Clara will be on time. Fortunately, her poor customer service is not an issue, because the two strangers wanted to know the same thing. Shortly the stage arrives, and out steps Constancia, an old friend who hasn't seen Diego in 10 years, and is who the doll was meant for. She also seems to be of interest to at least one of the two strangers, and Sergeant Garcia, who she calls "Uncle Demetrio". Constancia wishes to speak to the stranger, and manages to get Diego to step away for a moment, long enough for us to learn she and this Miguel Serrano are trying to get married. Diego reenters, and the three begin to chat, with Diego quickly sensing something is up, but Constancia diverts him. Undeterred, Diego invites Miguel to the hacienda after dinner that night.

Miguel does arrive that evening, and Diego seems content to encourage the unspoken, but fairly obvious romance, by letting the two go out on the patio alone together for a bit. Alejandro is quite another matter, since Constancia's father is an old friend of his, and he feels she's been left in his care. Adding to the problem is Bernardo, who had gone to retrieve Constancia's shawl, and happened to open one of her pieces of luggage and find her dowry. He alerts Diego and Alejandro, and while the latter wants to confront her immediately, Diego points out they only know because they went rifling through her possessions. Better perhaps for Zorro to break up another romance. That evening, Constancia leaves a lamp in her window as a signal. So Zorro moves it to the balcony above her room. When Miguel and his friend Ansar arrive, they have to search for a ladder, which Zorro has helpfully left holding shut the trap door for the hay loft. Undeterred, the two set up the ladder, only to find it is too short. They go to grab a box to set it on, and release a bunch of geese, then Zorro sets a hound loose among them. All of which wakes up the person in the room with the lamp, Alejandro, and the two flee.

Constancia slept through the whole thing, and is in a sour mood the next morning. She wants a horse to ride into town, but Bernardo plays dumb. Diego was planning to go and learn more about Miguel, and tries to get her to travel with him. Then Miguel shows up, and tells a story of his being attacked and robbed by Zorro last night. When Diego hears this, he insists Miguel should go and tell Sergeant Garcia, and the three go to town together. While the sergeant listens to Miguel's story (and drinks wine on Diego's tab), Diego tries to find Ansar, and gets hit over the head for his trouble. Soon, Ansar and Miguel conspire to get Garcia alone with Ansar, and he gets walloped as well. Leaving the trio free to ride for the harbor. But Diego is able to fairly quickly cut the ropes holding him, rush home, change to Zorro, and ride after them. On the ship, Miguel says he must leave to speak to the captain in town, but Constancia overhears him talking to a couple of crew members and learns he plans to leave with Ansar. Miguel isn't leaving without the money, and the crew can't leave her alive, but Zorro's caught up, and takes care of the two sailors and Ansar without difficulty. He leaves Miguel to be sent overboard by Constancia. After that, she prepares to return home, promising to be more careful about who she falls for, though that seems a promise she's unlikely to keep.

Quote of the Episode: Diego - 'And in the second place, we have no evidence Miguel is a scoundrel.'

Times Zorro Marks a "Z": 0 (3 overall).

Other: When Zorro is on his way to the harbor, I think they took some old footage of him jumping a downed tree and landing at the edge of some cacti, and reversed it.

When Zorro set the lamp on that balcony, I think it's the same balcony they used for Uncle Estevan's room in Season 2. The one he lassoed Zorro from once.

Constancia was played by Annette Funicello, who also played Anita in Season 2, the young girl who came to Los Angeles seeking her father. Which was not one of my favorite story arcs of that season, but that wasn't her fault. Her she at least has a pretty decent punch. Also, the morning after Zorro thwarted her eloping, when she barged into the sala, she didn't even notice Bernardo suddenly dropping a vase next to her (as a signal to the De la Vegas to stop talking about their plans to stop her eloping). Didn't jump away, didn't make an angry comment or anything. She was deadset on getting a horse and going to Los Angeles to chew out Miguel, and that was it.

This story really ramped up Alejandro's irritability. He made a fat joke at Sergeant Garcia's expense, was greatly offended when Diego joked someone might think Alejandro and Garcia were related the way Constancia kept calling them both uncle. He was planning to steal her dowry to try and block the marriage. Did his favorite horse die off-screen or something?

Seeing Zorro fight on a ship made me sad we never got to see him fight pirates. It'd be a good match, plenty of things to swing from or climb, enemies that swordfight and try to play dirty for Zorro to overcome.

Zorro 3.2 - Adios, El Cuchillo

Plot: Picking up where the previous episode left off, El Cuchillo and his gang return to town, still short of funds. While the rest of the gang go on a spree of breaking into various businesses to rob them, Cuchillo and Chato break into the tailor's shop - so Chato can repair Cuchillo's vest again. But Zorro is hot on their heels, and he and Bernardo repeatedly stymie the bandits' attempts at robbery. Just as Cuchillo and Chato leave the shop, there is Zorro, who ruins Chato's hard work again. But Sergeant Garcia and the lancers come marching along, and Zorro bails, giving Cuchillo and Chato the chance to flee.

The next morning, Diego and Bernardo ride into town and find Cuchillo and his men, hungry and grumpy in the tavern. Cuchillo is calmly sketching Chulita on the back of a wanted poster for Zorro, but once Diego arrives, he starts questioning Diego about Zorro while sketching Diego. As he does so, he convinces Chulita to bring food and drinks for his men (despite his lack of funds), and Bernardo bumps into a bandit and spills food over the sketch as Cuchillo was starting to add a mask and hat to it. This nearly gets Bernardo in hot water, but Diego is able to fend off the bandit while fighting semi-clumsily. Enough to confuse the bandits, if not Cuchillo.

In Sergeant Garcia's office, Diego plainly states his belief Cuchillo is the man who tried to steal the silver service, but Garcia believes there is some personal feud between Diego and Cuchillo. Meanwhile, Bernardo notices Chato visit Vibora in the jail, and then news comes that Cuchillo robbed the tavern in broad daylight. So Garcia and the bulk of his lancers ride after them. Cuchillo sends a few of his men on down the road, and doubles back with four of them to the cuartel. Chato and another bandit try to use a ladder to go over the wall, but find Zorro at the top to push it over. Two more make it inside and overpower the guard, but Zorro pulls off a very nice rope swing, which he parlays into running momentum to slam the bandit's head into the gate. The other bandit tries to fight Zorro with a dagger. You can guess how well that goes. Cuchillo is waiting outside, and Zorro kindly lets him in, so they can resume their fights from earlier. About then, Garcia and his men return, and their shouts bring out the sleeping lancers, so Zorro and Cuchillo flee again, hiding in a tent in the square together until the soldiers pass. Then they resume their fight until the lancers double back, and which point they scatter. Cuchillo flees into the tavern, and Chulita helps him avoid capture. Tsk, tsk, young lady.

The next morning, Diego and his father discuss the situation at home, but Cuchillo and his entire gang show up. They've decided to spend their time waiting for the ship from Boston to arrive here. Diego and Alejandro are free to leave, one at a time, the other remaining there as a hostage. Bernardo is hiding in the secret passage for the moment, biding his time. Then Sergeant Garcia arrives with word that the ship arrived early, and he's going to get the money now. Which means there's no need for Cuchillo to hang around, but also no reason to keep the de la Vegas alive. He lets Chato do the killing, but only after Cuchillo is sufficiently far away. Fortunately, leaving one guy to handle it gives Bernardo the chance to intervene and save the day. Alejandro is sent to gather the dons, while Zorro rushes to save the sergeant. Sure enough, the sergeant and the lancers are on their way back when the bandits begin giving chase. Garcia leads his men across a small bridge, and declares they'll make a stand there. They do their best, but Cuchillo is able to clear a path through for Vibora, who steals the wagon. Garcia gives chase, as does Zorro, as does Cuchillo. Zorro's able to overcome Vibora and rides the wagon all the way to the cuartel, where he overturns it and awaits Cuchillo so they can resume their fight for like the 6th time at this point. Sergeant Garcia tries to keep the revived Vibora from stealing the money, a somewhat difficult task as he's stuck between the gate and the wagon. The battle is pitched, and Zorro is driven off the railing at one point, narrowly avoiding falling by grabbing a ladder. When Cuchillo tries to rush down to help Vibora, Zorro rides the ladder down on top of him.

The next day, the sergeant and two lancers prepare to deliver Cuchillo to the authorities in Mexico. Cuchillo is pretty calm, considering he expects to be shot. But the quartet is hardly out of sight before the soldiers come riding back in backwards, hands tied behind their back. Then Cuchillo rides in, sweeps up Chulita, and rides off again. But his escape is cut short by Zorro, who ropes the lovebirds and leads them to a shrine where a padre waits to marry them. Apparently Zorro figures married men can't spare the time to be bandits. Sure, Zorro, that'll work.

Quote of the Episode: Garcia - 'Well if you had kept out of his way any harder, you might have killed him!'

Times Zorro Marks A "Z": 0 (3 overall).

Other: Last week I mentioned I thought the front garden area of the de la Vega hacienda looked different, but this week, it seemed the same as always. So I'm prepared to write it off as me being unused to seeing it from that particular angle (and during the daytime). I still think I saw a wall across the road, though. . .

I was prepared to congratulate Sergeant Garcia on a solid episode this week. He and his men stood firm at the bridge against something like 3-to-1 odds. Even after Zorro (on the wagon), and Cuchillo pulled away from him on the mad dash back to the cuartel, he kept in hot pursuit, and was able to keep Vibora from absconding with any money. Then he managed to let Cuchillo escape within roughly two minutes, despite having two armed soldiers with him. It's especially galling because just before they rode out of town, Alejandro had to once again show absolutely no confidence in the sergeant, to his face.

Amazing that of all the foes who have been stymied by Diego and Bernardo using the secret passages without ever figuring out what was going on, Chato is one of the few who figured it out. Not that it did him any good. That poor guy. Maybe he can repair some of the soldiers' uniforms in Mexico and earn a pardon, then open a tailor's shop of his own. He's not much of a bandit.

Nice of Zorro to let Chato get a firm grip on the ladder before knocking it over, I guess. Might have been better to push himself away from it and be able to tuck and roll.

At a certain point, the way Zorro and Cuchillo kept trying to resume their fight around the interruptions got ridiculous. They fight in the cuartel, the soldiers are alerted and two hide in a tent together. Then they start fighting inside the tent, until the soldiers return and they split up. And once they've briefly eluded the lancers again, the two men start trying to call each other out. It's nuts. I know they're supposed to be enjoying the challenge the other poses, but the unwillingness to call it a night started to be a bit much. You guys are supposed to be clever outlaws. The sword-fighting scenes were very good, though. And I liked that at the beginning of the episode, as Zorro's followed them back into town, he had already ditched his cape. He's all business right from the start.

The bit with Zorro swinging on the rope, hitting the ground running, and driving that bandit's head into the gate was an especially smooth piece of work.

Zorro 3.1 - El Bandido

Plot: El Cuchillo and his gang sit on their horses and watch a group of soldiers ride towards them for far too long before deciding Mexico is a little too hot for them, and fleeing. During their escape, one bandit, Chato, has his horse shot out from under him, and another, Vibora, refuses to help him escape. So Cuchillo goes back for Chato himself, and when they catch up to the rest of the gang, Cuchillo belts Vibora one, before giving him a cigar as a peace offering. Then he announces they're going to visit Los Angeles and see what there is to steal. Chato notes that's where Zorro hangs out, but Cuchillo is not impressed.

In Los Angeles, Diego and Bernardo practice fencing in the front garden of their house. Diego fails to notice Sergeant Garcia come in, and has to do some fast explaining to the sergeant about how he looked so skilled with a blade. Offering the sergeant wine helps distract him. As it turns out, Garcia is there to tell Alejandro the warehouse in town is ready to hold all the hides the dons are selling to an incoming ship. Garcia is confident the warehouse is secure, Alejandro is not so sure, because of Garcia. Diego explains to his father he isn't too worried, because he figures there's no group of criminals around large enough to pull it off. Right on cue, we shift to Cuchillo and his gang entering town and beginning to loiter. Garcia is marching his men through the town, and notices the arrivals, but Cuchillo is not forthcoming with answers to Garcia's questions about his identity and purpose. Diego is able to prevent things going poorly, by offering to buy the sergeant drinks, and then Cuchillo decides to get chummy.

In the tavern, one goon makes the mistake of referring to Cuchillo by that name, when he points out the wanted poster for Zorro. Cuchillo isn't too impressed, but when the waitress Chulita reminds Garcia he's supposed to escort a 5000 peso silver service set for Don Francisco, well Cuchillo is very interested in that. Fortunately, both Diego and Bernardo are convinced the guy is no good, and so even as Cuchillo and a few of his men are robbing the wagon (and leaving the soldiers tied up), Zorro arrives to give chase. He systematically thwarts their attempts to ambush him, and eventually faces Cuchillo one-on-one. The two seem evenly matched, but the fight is interrupted by the lancers, who have followed on foot. Both parties take to the hills, though Cuchillo's men are arrested, and put to work stacking the dons' hides in the warehouse. Diego advises the sergeant to perhaps be careful around Cuchillo (who wore a mask during the robbery), but won't exactly say why. Which means the sergeant fails to keep it to himself that those hides are going to be sold for 20,000 pesos when the ship from Boston arrives.

However, the ship hasn't arrived yet, so instead Cuchillo, Chulita, and his men pay a visit to the de la Vegas, under the pretext Diego had mentioned wanting to play host at some point. Chato drops a vase, which Cuchillo uses as pretext to make his goons wait outside. Bernardo was in the secret passage (as Diego was preparing to change to Zorro to deal with Cuchillo), and emerges from upstairs, where he hears Chato send a couple of the bandits to rob the tavern. But there's nothing Diego can do at the moment. When his men return, Cuchillo bids a good night, and then it's time for Zorro. Cuchillo makes the mistake of trying to be a good boss, and offers to race his men for the biggest share of the night's haul. He gives them a head start, which he quickly erases. But he let Chato hold the money, and Zorro gets ahead of them, and drops a rope around Chato, pulling him off his horse. Cuchillo rushes back, and it's Round 2. He makes another good go of it, but loses decisively this time, but with all the other men also coming back to see what's wrong, Zorro can't finish the fight, and has to content himself with taking the money back. Which is where things stand, for now.

Quote of the Episode: Vibora - 'If we play it smart, we could return to Mexico rich men.'

Times Zorro Marks a "Z": 3 (3 overall). He put one in Cuchillo's vest before their first fight, then Chato used his buttons to make matching designs on both sides to cover it up. So when they met again, Zorro left his mark on both sides.

Other: So "El Cuchillo" means "the knife". Which explains the name of that one character in For a Few Dollars More. The one with the knife, who was framed for killing another member of the gang by Indio, then shot by Indio. Learn something everyday. Look, I took German in school, not Spanish, alright? I speak about as much Spanish as Michael Westin prior to Season 7 of Burn Notice.

They're really trying to play Cuchillo as an honorable bandit. Doesn't abandon his men. Won't kill the soldiers when they're helpless, wouldn't let Chato shoot Zorro in the back, even after Zorro took the money and ruined Cuchillo's jacket. Almost a dark reflection of Zorro. Instead of having a couple of followers who work in secret, a whole gang that follows him. And of course he serves himself rather than the public.

Cuchillo is pretty contemptuous of Zorro, though. He dismissed Chato's concerns, and when he saw the wanted poster, he had two reactions: One was to remark that the reward for him in Mexico is 1000 pesos more, and the other was that it would be easy money to capture Zorro, but he didn't think they'd see much of him. I presume because he figured he was so smart Zorro would never be able to catch him. It wouldn't be because Zorro would be afraid, because he's not supposed to know Cuchillo, the dangerous bandit, is even in town.

Zorro, on the other hand, seems to really enjoy Cuchillo. Maybe because he sees Cuchillo's arrogance and enjoys puncturing it. When they first start to fight, after the silver service heist, Cuchillo snarls out, 'Now Zorro!' And Zorro calmly replies, 'Alright. Now.' With a smile on his face. He was having great fun, even when Cuchillo's skill with a blade put him on his heels for a moment.

A little strange to see Garcia making even a perfunctory attempt to capture Zorro. I know he was doing that even late into Season 2, but by this point, you'd think he'd give it up. Focus on protecting the warehouse so Alejandro doesn't outright insult your competence to your face, sergeant. That was a dick move, even for Alejandro. At least say it under your breath, old man. And where the heck are the rest of the sergeant's lancers? Diego says that if Cuchillo can free his three men from jail, the sergeant's forces won't stand a chance. I was sure the cuartel had more than a dozen soldiers in it previously.

The front patio of Diego's home looked different from past seasons. Perhaps it was the angle he and Bernardo were being shot from. But when Garcia came in through the front gate, I was pretty sure I saw a wall on the opposite side of the road behind the lancers, and I know there hasn't been a house across from the hacienda previously. Maybe they moved in town for quicker access to trouble. Like when Batman and Alfred moved into a skyscraper in Gotham during the '70s. Also, there still appears to be a level in the secret passages between the sala and Diego's room, even though there isn't one apparent in the two-story house from the outside. Bernardo back away from the peephole in the sala, turns to the stairs, then the camera cuts to another shot of him rounding from one flight of stairs to the next, and then he reaches the room that accesses Diego's room. They're doing some strange, space-warping stuff in that house. Some poor bandit should find his way in there and spend years lost.

Zorro 2.39 - Finders Keepers

Plot: Senorita Villagrana and her servant Montez are traveling when a man with a black bag over his face steps out, orders them to halt, and opens fire. Soon Bernardo comes riding along the road, and spies a brooch on the ground. He picks it up, wraps it in his handkerchief, and starts to mount his horse, when he spies first the overturned carriage, then the senorita, who has a wound on her head. He starts to carry her towards his horse, when she wakes up, freaks out, attacks him until he drops her, then tries to steal his horse. At this moment Sergeant Garcia and Corporal Reyes ride up, and she insists Bernardo be arrested.

In the sergeant's office, Diego pleads Bernardo's case, that he could not have been the thief, for there is no sign of the 1,000 pesos she had on him. She seems convinced, but when Bernardo is brought in and told this, he removes the handkerchief to wipe his forehead in relief, and the brooch falls out. Back to jail with you, little one. Bernardo takes Diego and the sergeant to the scene of the crime, to detail his movements, but there isn't anything to directly exonerate him. Then Alejandro arrives, having spoken to the doctor. He has say Villagrana's wound was from being hit, not from being grazed by a bullet. Alejandro argues this implicates the driver, because it would be easy for the person next to her in the carriage to strike her. Unfortunately, Corporal Reyes rode up with Alejandro, and says Montez has arrived in town.

Arm in a cast and sling, Montez says he was shot in the arm, the carriage overturned, and he tried to tend to the senorita, only to flee for help when the robber came after them. Fortunately, he met a Senor Lopez (from the town of San Rafael, as are Montez and the senorita), but when they returned, the senorita was gone, having already been found by Bernardo. At first Montez says he didn't see the thief's face, but soon contradicts this, and is aided by Garcia actually telling him what Bernardo looks like, rather than getting Montez to provide the description. Diego suggests they make Montez pick Bernardo out of a lineup, but this is foiled when it's done in the tavern, and Lopez is present, and able to signal to Montez who to pick out. Alejandro and Diego see this, but are the only ones and can't prove it.

That evening, Zorro sneaks into the rear of the tavern, and allows Garcia and Reyes to see him. They venture in, and are locked in, so Zorro can confront Montez and Lopez - collaborating at another table - without interference, but with witnesses. Sure enough, the money is in Lopez' jacket, but he and Montez decide to fight it out. Zorro is able to pin Montez' good arm to the mantle with a cleaver, but Lopez puts up a surprisingly good fight, putting Zorro on the defensive repeatedly. But he's eventually subdued (with a hand, or arm, from Sergeant Garcia), and the two confess. After, the senorita tries to give Bernardo the brooch as a way of apologizing, but Bernardo pretends not to understand and flees the room.

Quote of the Episode: Diego - 'Well, you know, Sergeant, tomorrow is a long way off.'

Times Zorro Marks a "Z": 0 (15 overall).

Other: Sergeant Garcia's got a lot to learn about questioning witnesses/suspects. If you're going to feed them information, make it false, to see if they trip themselves up. Hopefully he learned from the experience.

Zorro seemed to both remove and put back on his cape remarkably quickly. I felt like I glanced away for a second, and the cape's gone. Look away again at the end, the cape's back.

I thought for awhile during the fight, that Lopez was trying to back Zorro towards Montez, so he could club Zorro with that cast. But if he was, Montez didn't twig to it, he just kept trying to pull his sleeve loose from the mantle.

Zorro really did seem to have more trouble than I'd expect with Lopez. I wonder if he's gotten slack in his training since he defeated Senor Avila in episode 2.31. Once you beat a guy who was apparently phenomenal, common thieves with daggers, or some first mate with a stick, are probably difficult to take seriously as threats. Although you'd expect the fact Bernardo's life was in danger would be sufficient motivation.

Garcia mentions Judge Vasca would preside over Bernardo's trial. This is the same judge who was supposed to preside over the trial of Alejandro and Don Nacho Torres in episode 1.9. And he did make it, barely, with help from Zorro, despite Garcia's best efforts (under order from Monastario) to delay him with food and drink.

So that's the end of the second season. A mixed bag, owing in part to the nature of how it was structured. Instead of the more longterm plots of the first season (first Monastario, then the Eagle), a series of small, generally disconnected stories. Some were stronger than others. The adventures in Monterrey were pretty good, with Anna Maria as a recurring cast member throughout, but switching in different threats, from Serrano, Adjutant Rico, Ricardo and his stupid pranks, and so on. The reveal Alejandro had known Diego was Zorro seemed like a big deal, but I'm not sure it was in practice. At least it meant Alejandro wasn't running his son down all the time.

There are a few more Zorro episodes that aired after Season 2 concluded, as part of Walt Disney Presents, and we'll get to those over the next few weeks. So there's about a month of Zorro still to cover.

Zorro 2.38 - Senor China Boy

Plot: Diego and Bernardo are in town, relaxing outside, as they observe Tomas Gregorio, merchant, return with a wagonload of goods from San Pedro. He also has a stowaway, who is eventually captured by Sergeant Garcia and Corporal Reyes. Unfortunately, their prisoner is a young Chinese boy, and no one present, including Diego, speaks Chinese. However, Bernardo is able to communicate enough for the boy to indicate that he was a prisoner. As to why, he writes a note, which none of them can read. Garcia feels he has no choice to place him in a cell, though he tries his best to make it a comfortable stay. Diego is trying to translate the note, with limited success, and has Bernardo take a copy to Padre Ignacio, who must have spent time in China.

The padre is indeed able to translate some of it, but by then, a Mister Vinson, first mate on a ship from Shanghai, has arrived in town, and he claims the boy is a murderer. The boy is, obviously, unable to speak in his defense, so Garcia reluctantly turns him over to the brute. Fortunately, Bernardo observes all this as he prepares to return to Diego and is able to let him know, as well as present the padre's translation. Which says the boy is a prince being held for ransom. While Bernardo delivers that note to Sergeant Garcia, Zorro heads Mr. Vinson off at the pass. Though the sailor makes a determined attempt to split Zorro's skull with a tree limb, he ends up falling to his death off a cliff. Zorro departs as the lancers arrive, and soon enough, Garcia has all his soldiers out to see off Prince Chia Ch'ing in the proper fashion. The prince is kind enough to be understanding of the sergeant locking him in a cell.

Quote of the Episode: Garcia - 'Imagine, royalty in my jail.'

Times Zorro Marks a "Z": 1 (15 overall). On Vinson's jacket, before the guy falls to his death. Some people just don't know how to quit while they're ahead.

Other: No "baboso" this week, but Garcia did call Reyes stupid. Which isn't true at all. Reyes was clever enough to tell Garcia, 'Corporals never go first,' when they were pursuing the prince into Gregorio's warehouse. I'm surprised that line of reasoning worked, though.

Diego knows German and French in addition to Spanish, and I guess he must also know English since he was able to speak with Joe Crane. I can't really see Joe knowing Spanish.

The most interesting part of the episode was that James Hong plays the prince. Hong, of course, has been in hundreds of roles, from Big Trouble in Little China, to the Adventures of Brisco County Jr, to, well, take your pick. He doesn't get to do much here, other than be sad and frantic. Which are understandable reactions for his character, but since they have to play up the fact no one in Los Angeles can actually communicate with or really understand him (save the padre, who doesn't actually meet him until the end), it's hard to convey a lot to the audience.

Zorro 2.37 - The Fortune Teller

Plot: We open in the tavern, as Don Diego and a Don Sebastian sit and watch a dancer perform. As it turns out, the dancer, Lupita, is also a fortune teller, though Don Sebastian is no more interested in that than he was the dancing. Just then Alejandro arrives with the news that the stage to Santa Barbara will delayed two or three hours because of a busted wheel. Sebastian has barely finished bemoaning this when Sergeant Garcia arrives, having been asked to tell Alejandro the damage is worse than initially suspected, and it'll be more like 6 hours. The two dons have a business deal to complete, and they need the 1500 pesos to be sent on its way to Santa Barbara, but no way is Sebastian willing to sit around and wait, and so he suggests having Garcia hold onto it. Alejandro is visibly against this, but is overruled, as Garcia vows to protect the money with his life. Alejandro is mollified with Diego offers to stay in town as well. Off the pair go to put the money in the strongbox in the cuartel.

Unfortunately, Lupita's two-man band saw the sergeant with the money pouch, and inform her of it, and she confidently assures them she can get it from him. At the office, Garcia locks the money away, then decides to return to the tavern, because Corporal Reyes is there to stand guard. Even when Diego opts to remain in the office, Garcia leaves. Sitting in the tavern flat broke, the sergeant is quickly accepting of Lupita's offer to purchase wine, and provide a free reading of the cards for him. She tells him she sees he's accepted a large sum of money, and with a little prodding, gets him to reveal how much. Then she tells him his fate hangs in the balance, and he will be betrayed by the person he least suspects.

Troubled, the sergeant returns to the cuartel, where Diego and Bernardo are playing darts while Reyes watches. Garcia keeps asking Diego if he thinks Reyes or the lancers can be trusted, and Diego, not realizing it, keeps saying the worst possible thing, by assuring the sergeant he should trust them entirely. So Garcia sends all the lancers to the mission to guard it until morning. Then he steps outside the cuartel and actually manages to evade Bernardo. Then, after a near-miss with a dart, his suspicions cause him to confront Diego. Things get heated, and Diego steps outside to find Bernardo, only to be locked out of the cuartel. This doesn't protect Garcia from Lupita or her goons, who have been using a ladder to watch all this play out over the wall. Fortunately, Bernardo spotted the ladder and alerts Diego. Lupita and her boys have found the money and locked Garcia in a cell, but it doesn't mean a thing once Zorro shows up. The goons are easily defeated, and Lupita's brief attempt to backstab Zorro is quickly stopped by the sergeant's big hands. The would-be thieves are locked up, the money is safe, and all is well. Though Garcia asks Diego not to tell Alejandro, since the sergeant can't and won't claim credit.

Quote of the Episode: Lupita - 'That is my specialty, handling stupid men.'

Times Zorro Marks a "Z": 0 (14 overall).

Other: We did have one "baboso", the first since "Affair of Honor", which I forgot to mention then. There's been a marked decline in those this season, since Garcia isn't taking quite as much abuse from crooked commanders, and he's not being quite as rough on Reyes. The two things are probably related, him taking his frustrations over how he's treated out on Reyes.

A little disappointed in Alejandro not having more faith in Sergeant Garcia. Yes, I know, he was apparently justified in this, given the sergeant very nearly blew it. But it wasn't for lack of trying on Garcia's part. He could have simply fled the cuartel after Lupita's fortune, tried to hide himself somewhere far away from the money, where no one he trusted would ever find him. Instead he chose to isolate himself in the money inside theoretically the safest place in town.

Mostly I feel bad for Garcia because he knows Alejandro doesn't trust him to do the job. He phrases it to Diego as him just thinking, sometimes, that maybe Alejandro doesn't trust him, but it's not Garcia's way to be forceful in his opinions, so I suspect he's fully aware of how Alejandro feels about him.

The major issue I have with this episode is, what was Lupita going to do if Sergeant Garcia didn't return to the tavern? Her plan rests on making him doubt everyone he would normally trust, to suspect they will steal the money and kill him. What would she do if he didn't return? I guess she could rush to the cuartel gates, desperate to warn the sergeant of a message sent to her through the cards for him. Although then, Diego, Bernardo, and Corporal Reyes are all present. I guess he still would have tried to get rid of all of them, they just would have understood what he was doing right off. I'm not sure how that would have changed things. Diego might simply have taken the money back.

Zorro 2.36 - Long Live The Governor

Plot: Diego returns from escorting Leonar on a shopping trip, and seems to be making good time with her, until he notices Bernardo signaling him and breaks off the conversation abruptly. The Captain is meeting with Manuel Larios in the library, and they need to hustle to the secret passage to observe. Alejandro is already there, sword in hand and ready to end this, but Diego points out they don't know all the conspirators. In the library, Arrellano is remarkably cocksure about his importance to the Rebatos, and has decided they will all kill the governor together. The conversation is ended by the arrival of Sergeant Garcia, here because the Governor wants to set up shop in the library for awhile, which involves bringing in all manner of distractions for His Excellency.

It's at this point the captain puts the plan into motion. The other dons are scheduled to come to the hacienda and meet with the Governor personally, and Arrellano suggests that perhaps Alejandro could ride out and extend the invitation personally, so it will seem less authoritative. Diego is close to patching things up with Leonar when Bernardo butts in again, to tell him all the lancers are gone. And soon, as the governor takes a nap with the aid of his music box, Arrellano has Diego taking him to the lake to collect some wild rice for dinner. When Diego mentions it certainly seemed as though the governor was exposed, Arrellano offers to return to watch over him, if Diego will continue on and collect the rice. Diego agrees, then promptly doubles back and changes to Zorro. And Bernardo has somehow already moved the governor, his couch, and the music box into the passage.

Just in time, as Arrellano and the Rebatos - all 5 of them - arrive. Leonar stumbles upon them, but is quickly subdued. Things go downhill for the would-be assassins when they discover the governor not where he's supposed to be, and Zorro quickly sets to picking them off one at a time. The Rebatos make this much easier by frequently splitting up, though Zorro's very good at quickly grabbing and subduing them at every opportunity. Soon it's just Zorro and the Captain, and Arrellano, with no one to use as a hostage (Leonar having already been freed by Zorro), meets a final, fatal end.

Quote of the Episode: Zorro - 'Captain, I am  sorry you do not approve of the display. It would have had a better balance with one more sword. Yours.'

Times Zorro Marks a "Z": 1 (14 overall). On the wall above the heads of the tied up members of the Rebatos.

Other: When the Governor reached the library and saw everything Garcia had laid out for him, he started to pitch a fit, until Leonar stepped in to defend the sergeant by pointing out the governor told Garcia to put his things there. I really like Leonar. It's too bad Bernardo kept butting in with bad news at the worst possible moment for Diego.

The governor remarked to Diego this week that he was disappointed to find Arrellano had neither the temperament or the humility to be a good public servant. That's an astute judgment. Certainly Arrellano lost any pretense of humility the longer he saw the possibility of becoming Governor. His attitude towards the Rebatos was consistently remarkably arrogant for a man willing to kill his boss so as to seize his job. I suppose he figures he can implicate the Rebatos if they tried to turn against him, though I don't think he had met all of them yet either. But it seems to me that, if the Rebatos had been willing to kill one uncooperative leader, they would hardly balk at killing a second, and take their chances on being able to find a different willing partner (or better yet, pawn).

So it does appear the stairs that lead up to the library in the secret passage could come from the cellar, which might explain Alejandro last week. Except there also appears to another landing in between those two levels I can't explain. Is the cellar just really deep in the ground? I could see that. There's no central heating or cooling, it's a hot climate, wine is meant to be kept cool and damp (I think, I know zilch about wine), it might have to be pretty far down.

I do wonder how Bernardo got the Governor and all the stuff in the secret passage. Possibly he could set the music box on the Governor's chest, then carry them in, set them down, then drag in the sofa and end table, and set everything back as it was. Otherwise, I don't know, because he'd have to swing the sofa around to get it into the passage, I think, and that would be awkward with someone sleeping on it.

Arrellano told Diego he had the lancers hiding around the hacienda, but judging by Garcia and Reyes, he actually sent them on a beer run. I guess he thought it would be rude to expect Alejandro to just open his wine supply to all the dons on behalf of the Governor. Or that's what he probably told the sergeant at any rate.

Zorro flat out killed Arrellano. It wasn't an errant pistol shot by one of Arrellano's co-conspirators. It wasn't an oh-so convenient fall off a building. Not as an execution of an unarmed man or anything, it's during the course of their battle. Still, Zorro isn't content to merely disarm or subdue Arrellano as he was the Rebatos. He runs him through. Which I wasn't expecting. When Zorro removed his cape before starting the battle, I thought he was just showing off for Leonar. He seemed to be showing a lot flair, really selling it for her, but perhaps he was just being serious. No cape to possibly hinder his movements, either because he respected Arrellano's skill enough, or because he was ready for this to be done with. The Rebatos at least were not pretending to be the governor's trusted associate, and were open enough with their opposition that they were a known threat. Arrellano was the friend with the concealed dagger, which makes him worse perhaps, in the Zorro universe.

Zorro 2.35 - Masquerade for Murder

Plot: A man comes to visit Captain Arrellano at the hacienda, an assassin as it turns out. As Diego and Bernardo observe from the secret passage, Arrellano continues to be a surprisingly high-handed dick for a man plotting to kill and supplant his boss. He flat out refuses to pay the assassin, sticking the Rebatos with the bill, and sends the man away without even letting him have any wine. Diego, Alejandro, and Bernardo debate their next move, but opt to continue observing until they can figure some way to expose the Captain and the Rebatos. The governor, unfortunately, isn't putting anyone in much of a mind to protect, forcing the lancers to lug him around the front porch until he finds a spot to sit he finds acceptable. To improve his mood, Diego suggests they have a party, so the governor can meet the citizens and have a little fun.

Party prep commences, and the assassin pays Arrellano another visit. This time, Diego is unable to get to the passage to eavesdrop, and Bernardo, who was stationed there specifically for this purpose, is asleep. So they have no idea what the conspirators have planned, but soon enough, here come Leonar and Arrellano, announcing they're going to make it a masquerade party. Alejandro is not ecstatic, as his usual choice, a Greek senator's toga, results in people making fun of his knees. Diego attempts to short-circuit the plan to give the killer an easy excuse for a disguise by sending all those invited relatively tiny domino masks to wear, but Alejandro is wearing an executioner's outfit with a full hood he think Diego left for him. Except Diego didn't leave it for him, Alejandro is soon alone out in back of the hacienda, where he finds himself under attack from someone dressed just like him, but with a real scimitar. But Diego had recognized something was wrong, and with some unwitting help by Sergeant Garcia, is able to make sure Zorro arrives in time. The killer escapes, but Alejandro is alive, and so is the governor.

Quote of the Episode: Diego - 'We'll just have to go on protecting the governor until we can force Captain Arrellano and the Rebatos into the open.'

Times Zorro Marks A "Z": 0 (13 overall).

Other: The captions are spelling it "Arrellano" this week, but I was sure it was with one "r" a couple of weeks ago.

Leonar was surprisingly friendly towards the captain this week. I guess because he restrained himself from any untoward advances or jealous rages, and seemed like he was trying to help raise her father's spirits. Still, that feels like the time she should be most on guard, because it seems like exactly the sort of thing he'd try to do to get on her good side before making another unwanted advance.

Diego was delayed in getting to his father by being drawn into a dance with Senorita Nunez, until he was able to drag Garcia in to take his place. She wasn't so pleased, but the sergeant always looks so happy when he gets to dance with a pretty lady. That was nice, especially after the governor was so mean to him for accidentally wearing the same outfit as the governor. That crack about how, if Garcia had dressed as a respectable soldier in the King's Army, he'd have been unrecognizable, that was over the line. The governor is distressingly good at making me wonder whether it'd be such a bad thing if the Rebatos succeeded with so many little things he does. On the larger scale, he doesn't seem like a terrible guy, but he's very much a petulant child, who lashes out uncaringly when things don't go his way.

Our knowledgeable commenter has been pointing out some of the inconsistencies in the layout of the de la Vega hacienda, especially with regard to the secret passages, and this week is a good example. Arrellano receives the assassin in the study, and Diego and Bernardo enter the secret passage through the sala, the next room over. There's a staircase going upstairs, presumably to Diego's room, but Alejandro comes up the staircase, from some lower level. Where was he? Down in the cave with Tornado? The hacienda does have a cellar (presumably it's where they store all that wine), he could have been there I suppose, though I wonder why. Maybe there's another passage access in the kitchen, but you have to go down from there to reach the stairway, then back up? And those passages are remarkably wide. How broad are the walls in this place, it can accommodate a passage that large?

I might have liked to see Zorro's battle with the assassin go on a little longer. It was an interesting contrast between the guy with the scimitar and Zorro. The assassin has the weapon built for power, and actually breaks Zorro's sword when he's able to bring full force down on it, but it's an all or nothing weapon. So Zorro is able to dodge easily and it gets stuck in a post.

Zorro 2.34 - The Captain Regrets

Plot: The Governor is out of bed, but still in the de la Vega hacienda. He's very bored, and driving everyone nuts making them entertain him. A man named Gabriel Luna arrives to see the acting governor, and is escorted to Captain Arellano, who is trying on the governor's cloak. Luna expresses concerns about the loyalty oath, which Arellano unhelpfully responds to by stating that if someone is loyal, they will sign the oath. But Luna wants California to break ties with Spain, and for the Captain to do the same with the current governor. Arellano rejects this offer, until the Governor states that he is ready to resume his duties. At which point, Arellano tries to convince the governor's daughter, Leonar, to sign a paper declaring the governor unfit to rule. Only until he's stronger, of course. Leonar is no fool and sees right through the blundering captain. Arellano's fortunes continue to decline when he makes an ass of himself again towards Diego, upon observing him playing the guitar for Leonar. Then he nearly gets shot by an overzealous Corporal Reyes, and then he can't convince the Governor to rest a little longer, or to reconsider his decision that Arellano just isn't cut out for the big time.

With all that going against him, the captain visits Luna, and suggests he kill the Governor. For some reason, he expects Luna and his men to do it for free, which isn't happening. What's more, they expect the Captain to help more than he did last time. So that evening, Arellano offers Garcia and Reyes some wine, after adding a knockout drug to it. Bernardo observes this and warns Diego, and the two split up to cover different entrances. A good plan, because Luna sends his two men in the back way, cautiously, while he and Arellano watch from the front porch. Zorro still gets the drop on Luna easily, and he and Arellano set to fighting. Meanwhile, Bernardo handles the two goons easily, despite them getting the early advantage. Then he rushes back upstairs, a good thing, too. By this point, Arellano has threatened to kill the sleeping Garcia unless Zorro throws away his sword, and once that's done, begins advancing on the Fox. Only for Bernardo to drop a flowerpot on his head. The next day, we learn the assassins "escaped" Arellano and the soldiers, but the governor still thanks everyone who protected him, including Zorro. Bernardo got left out, so Diego proposes a toast to the person who helps Zorro.

Quote of the Episode: Luna - 'One moment, Your Excellency. Now you are speaking in riddles, so let me be frank. If you want us to kill the governor, just say so.'

Times Zorro Marks a "Z": 0 (13 overall).

Other: I don't approve of the governor calling the sergeant an overgrown musk ox (and would the governor even know what a musk ox is?), but I can't fault the guy for dedication to his job. He wouldn't take Leonar or the captain up on the suggestion he wait and rest a little more before resuming work. He brushed off concerns about the danger, and felt he had to press forward with his push for this loyalty oath. I still think the oath is stupid, and that he ought to be more worried with convincing the people the country he wants them to swear allegiance to actually gives a crap about them, but at least he's committed to making his stupid idea work.

I was pleased that Luna cut through Arellano's bullcrap when the captain came to him. Arellano had treated Luna rather shabbily when he visited the captain, pretended to have the moral high ground. And then Arellano tries to use euphemisms when he comes looking for a favor. To heck with that. And he thought they'd do him the favor for free? Come on Captain, these are not ideologues, they're capitalists. They aren't doing anything for free.

It is strange to me that the governor hasn't reconsidered his position on Arellano. He seems to have a soft spot for the guy, in spite of his continued poor behavior around Leonar, and from what little we've seen, Arellano's been largely successful in getting people to buy into this oath thing (with some help from Alejandro grandstanding). The governor is the only one who gave Arellano the benefit of the doubt about riding off with the governor's only two guards last week. And yet, he still think the captain isn't cut out for the role he originally envisioned for him.

Or maybe Leonar told her father Arellano tried to convince her to declare him incompetent. I like Leonar. She seems completely unimpressed with everyone. She has no time for Arellano (and the fact he thought he could convince her to go along with his plan is probably a sign he's a moron), and she looked kind of bored with Diego's singing. Of course, I thought Margarita was unimpressed with Uncle Estevan's singing too, and I was apparently wrong, so what do I know.

Zorro 2.33 - Invitation to Death

Plot: A tranquil morning at the de la Vega hacienda is disturbed by the noisy arrival of one Captain Arellano, who was providing security for the governor's wagon, which has overturned nearby, gravely injuring His Excellency. The governor is soon brought to the hacienda and set up as comfortably as possible in the sala while Diego fetches the doctor. The captain explains to Diego and Alejandro that he suspects foul play at the hands of a group called the Rebatos, who resent the governor's call for all Californians to take a loyalty oath to Spain. In fact, the governor was coming to Los Angeles to make a call personally for the people to take the oath. He won't be making that appointment, but Phelipe (the captain), will as he is appointed temporary governor. While Phelipe seems uncertain of himself, he makes an impassioned plea in the tavern, and aided by Alejandro vocally and publicly standing up to be first to take the oath, seems to have carried out the governor's wishes. As other citizens line up to take the oath, a Manuel Larios approaches the captain, and asks if he has considered that, were the governor to die, the captain could continue being governor, which might be very good for the captain. Phelipe says that sounds an awful lot like treason, but the idea takes hold in his mind.

Back at the hacienda, poor Sergeant Garcia is stuck as the governor's orderly, which means trying to get him to take his foul-tasting medicine, with poor results. Meanwhile, Diego is outside talking with the governor's daughter, who is concerned for her father's safety and wonders why there is so much political violence. Diego's attempts to lift her spirits catch the eye of the captain, who fancies the young lady, despite her complete lack of interest in him. So he makes a bit of a scene, and implies she's been behaving improperly and that he will not allow her to do so going forward. Which earns him a well-deserved smack in the face from her, and later still, a dressing-down from her father, who has apparently decided Phelipe will never become the man he hoped he would. Having lost the confidence of the governor, Larios' suggestion is much more appealing to the captain, and he soon rides into town, dragging Garcia and Reyes with him.

Fortunately, Bernardo notices and warns Diego. Unfortunately, Larios' men are wasting no time going on the attack, and Diego apparently needs a year to change into Zorro, so Bernardo has to enter the sala through the secret passage and stop the first killer (though not before the governor takes a bottle to the head). Bernardo and Zorro move the governor to Alejandro's room, and Zorro places the first would-be assassin in the bed with the blanket over him. Two more rush in, and while Zorro is busy with one, the other knifes what he thinks is the governor. The two killers then flee, having failed in their mission. Afterward, Captain Arellano gets the third degree from everyone as to why he took away the guards, but the governor tells them to stop, out of pity, perhaps.

Quote of the Episode: Governor - 'This will be an opportunity to show what you are made of, to vindicate my faith in you.'

Times Zorro Marks a "Z": 0 (13 overall).

Other: Little surprised Zorro didn't draw his sword when dealing with two assassins. Yeah, the governor is safe elsewhere, but perhaps you don't want these killers to escape without finding out who they're working for and with. It's the second week in a row he doesn't seem to be taking the actual fight entirely seriously.

I don't know what it is the doctor is making the governor take, but hopefully he won't die because he's making Garcia take it instead.

Arellano correcting Garcia and insisting on being referred to as "His Excellency", but only because of tradition was a pretty great slimeball move. You can tell Garcia doesn't buy that explanation at all, either.

Diego frames the actions of the people trying to kill the governor as those of people looking to claim the considerable natural resources and wealth of California for themselves. I guess as opposed to letting Spain have it all. He's probably right, but people might also resent being told they need to publicly affirm their loyalty to a country that really doesn't seem to give much of a damn about them. It sends them brutal Army officers and corrupt government officials almost constantly. And just because Arellano pulls a JFK a couple of years early (asking the people to ask what they can do for Spain, rather than the other way around) doesn't change that. I'm not blaming the governor for that state of affairs, but he hasn't made a visit to Los Angeles for anything else that we know of, so this is what he's apparently deemed most important, and it really isn't.

Zorro 2.32 - The Sergeant Sees Red

Plot: Sergeant Garcia returns to Los Angeles with Padre Simeon after a two week absence to discover almost the entire town shut up in their homes with measles. Corporal Reyes is the only soldier not afflicted, and reduced to sleeping outside the cuartel gates. As Garcia puts Reyes through his paces, the padre returns to the church, and Diego rides up, having been busy making delivers to the sick in the ranches. The padre wants to go along, and bring a gold chalice he brought back from Spain for the christening of a church. He shows it to both Diego, and the padre's cook/servant, a man named Carlos.

That evening, Diego and Bernardo drop the padre off at the church, promising to return to pick him up in the morning, then stopping to laugh at Garcia and Reyes sleeping under and on a collapsed tent in the square. Inside the church, the padre gets a rude surprise as Carlos decides to steal the chalice and melt it down. The padre implores him not to return to crime, but is locked in his bureau. Carlos then leaves a "Measles, Keep out" sign on the door, so no one will find the padre for two weeks. In the morning, Diego finds Garcia putting his lancers through their drills by yelling through a hole in the gate. He's preparing them for the Military Forces Day parade, but mentions the padre must have come down with the measles. Diego is suspicious of how the padre could have contracted them so quickly, and barges in (over Bernardo's concerns), and finds the padre. Simeon is still hoping Carlos will reconsider and return, and Diego is certain the man's conscience will speak to him.

Sure enough, Carlos' conscience finds him, assuming Zorro qualifies. After a fairly intense struggle on Carlos' part, he yields, and agrees to return the chalice. Zorro, in turn, allows this, but vows to be watching Carlos from now on. And every time Carlos considers changing his mind, he looks up and sees Zorro watching him. So the chalice is returned, and Diego, Bernardo, and the padre enjoy the Military Forces Day parade, consisting of Sergeant Garcia and Corporal Reyes.

Quote of the Episode: Padre Simeon - 'A man's conscience will often assume many shapes and forms.'

Times Zorro Marks a "Z": 0 (13 overall).

Other: I would imagine in the 1820s that the measles are nothing to scoff at.

Even though Garcia is, as usual, not being as nice to Corporal Reyes as I'd like, I appreciate that once he understood the situation, his first concern was whether the sick soldiers had all the supplies they would need to see them through their quarantine. Garcia is pretty consistently portrayed as caring about the well-being of his men (it was a snag in the Eagle's plans, to the point the Magistrado ordered their mole among the lancers to do something to spoil the food so the soldiers would become discontented).

I'm surprised the Church would send such a nice chalice to a church in Los Angeles. It's a decent-sized town, but doesn't really seem like a major metropolis yet.

I have to give credit to the padre. Nearly died of heat stroke or something in that cabinet he was locked in, but still blaming himself for Carlos' return to crime.

Nothing good ever seems to happen in a blacksmiths' shop in Zorro's world. Always crimes going on, or about to be going on. On the plus side, there are plenty of implements to throw, or try to bash someone's head in with. Not that it helped Carlos, and Zorro didn't even need to draw his sword. Maybe not a surprise; it's a safe bet only one of the two of them has any significant training in fighting, but it does speak to Zorro's restraint, his attempt to carry out the padre's wishes that Carlos return the chalice himself. Zorro could easily batter or kill this man and return it, but the padre would still feel he had failed. Better for Carlos to return it, although if he explains what happened, will that nullify the effect?

I did find it interesting Zorro drew his sword after Carlos surrendered. I know he's making a point - no pun intended - about the consequences if Carlos doesn't follow through. It still felt a little like unnecessary, like if Batman goes ahead and drops the thug he's dangling from a rooftop while interrogating him (while having a line of rope around the guy's ankles). An added bit of terror to an already beaten opponent. Maybe it was necessary, and I definitely understand why Zorro might not have been too worried about it, given Carlos was fully willing to lock the padre in a dresser for two weeks, which would, you know, kill him, I don't know.

I guess it bothers me because it implies Carlos is only repenting out of fear, rather than an actual recognition he did wrong. Which, OK, seems pretty bog-standard for Catholicism to me, but not really what I'd like to see. It seemed as though initially, when Carlos surrendered, that he'd been jolted enough to think about what he'd done, and perhaps felt guilty. And that was why he was going to return the chalice himself. But then Zorro threatens to watch him constantly, and basically threatens to run him through if he steps out of line, and so now Carlos is acting because he fears what will happen if he doesn't toe the line. Which is something different altogether.

Zorro 2.31 - An Affair of Honor

Plot: Senor Avila is an expert swordsman who comes to town and fights people for money. He and his partner, Senor Pineda, are trying to make it to San Juan, but aren't going to manage winning 5 peso bets. So they set their eyes on bigger game: Diego. They enter the tavern, and Avila tries to join a poker game Alejandro and his haciendaro buddies are having, but they don't play with strangers. Avila takes great offense at this, and ultimately strikes Alejandro. At which point Diego - enjoying a drink with Sergeant Garcia at Corporal Reyes' expense - rushes over, grabs Avila, and backhands him over a table. Well, the duel is on.

At home, Diego and Alejandro try to figure out a plan. Diego raises the idea of fighting clumsily and winning, as he did once against Monastario, but Alejandro contends Avila is too good for that. Along that line of thinking, Sergeant Garcia and Corporal Reyes arrive, to try and give Diego lessons on fencing. Which gives Diego a good laugh, but doesn't really help. Bernardo suggests fighting as Zorro, but Diego argues there is no good reason for Zorro to get involved. That evening, he gets a reason when Pineda shows up with the time and place of the duel, and then offers to call the duel off for a measly few thousand pesos. This gets him bodily hurled out of the hacienda. So now Zorro's going to get involved, but here comes Sergeant Garcia again, his horse having pulled up lame. But it's a ruse to knock Diego out and tie him up, to save him.

So Zorro does not ride, and when Bernardo reports this to Alejandro the next morning, the old man decides they have to go to town. Garcia and Reyes play dumb - poorly - as to Diego's whereabouts, but do so well enough Alejandro decides he may have to fight in Diego's place. Which convinces the sergeant they better go retrieve Diego, a plan Bernardo overhears. It becomes a certainty when Avila accuses their entire bloodline of being cowards. The old man gives it his best shot, but Avila is playing with him, picking him apart slowly to try and scare him into agreeing to pay. Fortunately, Bernardo got to Diego quickly enough that Zorro is able to show up. He and Avila have themselves a duel, and Zorro pays Avila back for the wounds he inflicted on Alejandro, and tells him to get out of town. Garcia and Reyes show up, confused as to what's happened to Diego, and make a half-hearted attempt to capture Zorro. He easily eludes them and rides away.

Quote of the Episode: Diego - 'The trouble is, Father, I don't know when to think like Zorro or when to act like myself or what's expected of me. I just don't know anymore.'

Times Zorro Marks a "Z": 0 (13 overall).

Other: I mentioned back during the Joe Crane arc it seemed as though the lines between Diego and Zorro were blurring more and more, and here Diego admits it. It makes sense, it must get frustrating to have everyone believe one thing about you, and it not be terribly complimentary, when it isn't so. Diego's already considered abandoning being Zorro once this season, only to be talked out of it by his father. Oddly, though, I wonder if Alejandro revealing that he knew, hasn't made it harder. The two of them had a contentious relationship through Season 1, with Alejandro often openly expressing disappointment in Diego's behavior. But now that they're sharing the secret, they get along much better, and it's been fine. Alejandro knowing the truth hasn't made things harder for Diego, but easier. And I wonder if he doesn't think of Anna-Maria, and wonder if there's any reason she couldn't also know. Or some of his other friends, since Zorro is so well liked by almost everyone.

At the point when Alejandro entered the tavern alone, that's when a Western would have the piano player abruptly stop playing. I would have enjoyed that if they'd done it, but no piano in that tavern.

Maybe it was just the angle, but I'd swear Sergeant Garcia looked thinner this week. Maybe he wasn't extending his gut as much as usual?

I have to wonder at that one fellow who admits 5 pesos is all he has, then bets it on himself in a swordfight with Avila. I'm guessing he meant that was all he had on him, but that's not how I'd spend all the money I had with me at the moment. I mean, there's a tavern full of food and drink right there.

I liked Sergeant Garcia's line about there not being a man alive who could beat Zorro, and so perhaps that is why he is still alive. I do wish he'd let Reyes drink with him and Diego, though. The peso could cover three drinks, right?

Zorro 2.30 - Zorro Takes A Dare

Plot: All the lancers are assembled in the cuartel square and berated by Basilio over their failure to capture Zorro. Well, almost all. Sergeant Garcia is in a cell, and Diego is unable to learn on precisely what charges. As it turns out, Basilio plans to use Garcia as bait to capture Zorro. He can't put the sergeant back in the stocks (he had them burned after he was placed in them), so he has a rope tied around Garcia's middle and dangles him from the crosspost of the cuartel's gate. Sure enough, Zorro rides to save the sergeant, Bernardo with him. There are soldiers lurking, but Bernardo sends Tornado and another horse dashing through the pueblo as a distraction so Zorro can knock out the two guards nearest the gate. Then Bernardo calmly walks past the sergeant into the cuartel, and knocks on Basilio's door. He gestures that he saw Zorro outside, and when Basilio dashes out, he gets caught in a snare trap that lowers the sergeant, while Basilio is left dangling by his ankle.

Well, that's that, right? Wrong. Basilio, even with a head injury from a rough landing, is smart enough to deduce Bernardo is connected to Zorro somehow. He even suspects Bernardo is Zorro, which, well, no, but he does suspect Bernardo isn't really a deaf-mute. So the lancers ride to the de la Vega hacienda, where Don Cornelio and Moneta are celebrating the sergeant being freed from his humiliation (even if he and Reyes both are locked up now). Mendoza barges in, and clubs Alejandro when he protests, as Basilio strides in, demanding to know where Bernardo is. On cue, Bernardo enters the room behind him, and takes a little too long interpreting Moneta's silent warnings to flee. So Basilio notices, and now the lancers know he's here. Still, Bernardo reaches Diego's room and makes it into the secret passage.

But Basilio must have had his brain food today, because he knows haciendas such as these are filled with secret passages. Not that this saves him from Zorro sneaking into the sala through one and putting a sword to his back. Unfortunately, the lancers enter the room, and Zorro has to bail. Basilio chooses to search the upstairs alone, and while in Diego's room, finds the secret entrance. And when Zorro doubles back inside a few minutes later, he gets clubbed over the head an unmasked. And then Basilio makes a critical mistake. He takes the cape, mask, and hat, and rather than carry them outside, puts them on as he shouts for Mendoza. Who he ordered to shoot Zorro on sight. Good-bye, Senor Basilio, and good-bye Captain Mendoza, who will have to return to Spain to explain himself. Later, the de la Vegas, Moneta and her father, and Sergeant Garcia celebrate the sergeant's freedom and Zorro's triumph, and even Bernardo allows himself to join in the toast.

Quote of the Episode: Basilio - 'He must come or lose face with his many admirers.'

Times Zorro Marks A "Z": 0 (13 overall).

Other: Mendoza claims shooting Basilio was an accident. Would it be considered that way? It isn't like he was shooting to wound and had bad aim. He intended to kill the man he shot at, because he thought it was Zorro. He just wasn't shooting at the right man.

I like how, as they crowd around Basilio's body, you can see Alejandro visibly relieved when he sees who is behind the mask. Then almost immediately after, you can see him planning how to use this to get Mendoza off their backs as well. I give him some grief, but he can be a sly fox when he wants. Though I was surprised he didn't protest more vigorously at Basilio and his soldiers barging in. The odds were horribly, but that's hardly stopped him before. Maybe the blow to the head threw him off his game.

A couple of episode ago, we were discussing in the comments Bernardo assisting Zorro, and how sometimes he dresses as Zorro, either with or without the mask, and sometimes he dresses as he normally does. Obviously dressing as Zorro wasn't going to work for the plan to rescue Garcia, but it still seems risky having Bernardo walk right up to Basilio and draw him out. Even if you figure Basilio isn't going to piece it together that Bernardo works with Zorro, because no one else has, you can't rule out him trying to punish Bernardo for making him look foolish, even if it is inadvertent. I'm not sure what would have been a better approach, though. Have Bernardo chuck a rock at the door? Simply free Garcia without humiliating Basilio?

I laughed at Garcia saluting Basilio as the sergeant slowly lowered and Basilio rose upside-down. Just found it funny for some reason.

Zorro 2.29 - Exposing the Tyrant

Plot: Basilio calls Sergeant Garcia into his office, and is strangely friendly, inquiring as to whether Garcia has thought of retiring from the Army. He'll have been in service for 20 years in three weeks, and would then be eligible to do so. But the sergeant loves the army, and wishes to stay. Until Basilio tells him that there's a law the states the king can give land to retired soldiers, and so the sergeant could become a haciendaro. "Don Demetrio" has a nice ring to it, and the sergeant exits beaming at the possibility. What he doesn't realize is Basilio plans to accuse Don Cornelio (Moneta's father) of treason so he can seize the land, and give it to Garcia, figuring it will be easy to take it back later.

That evening, Garcia, Basilio, and Diego are enjoying drinks at Cornelio's home when Basilio puts his plan into motion. He starts asking the sergeant if he can identify where certain fine objects in the house came from. Well, the candlesticks came from England, and some other pieces from France, countries Spain is currently hostile to. Meaning Cornelio is trading with the enemy, which is treason, and he must be arrested. Basilio, as he departs, even twists the knife by congratulating Sergeant Garcia on the fine hacienda he will soon own, since it has been seized.

The next morning, there is a brief moment of hope as Garcia points out everyone in town trades with whatever ships come to port, regardless of nationality, and so he can't testify against Cornelio. Then Basilio informs him that if he admits to that, he will be guilty of dereliction of duty, which is also treason, and he'll be lynched, whereas Cornelio will merely be exiled. He also tells Garcia not to tell anyone of this conversation or else, which means Garcia can't explain to anyone that this wasn't his plan. And so everyone is hostile to him: Corporal Reyes, Diego, even Zorro, who vows to gut the sergeant if he testifies against Don Cornelio. The day of the trail comes, and Basilio calls Garcia to testify. The sergeant balances on the precipice, unsure which way to go. Captain Mendoza is showing off a little noose he made from a strip of leather, while Bernardo is flashing a "Z" on the wall with a mirror, but ultimately it's Basilio who makes the key gaffe. He mentions out loud, in front of everyone, that Garcia will be guilty of treason if he admits this was a common practice. That public prod is enough stiffen the sergeant's resolve, and he absolves Don Cornelio. Fortunately, Zorro is there, and quickly demonstrates Basilio himself is wearing all sorts of items from hostile countries, and forces Basilio to admit it is not a treasonous action, lest he be killed himself.

Quote of the Episode: Basilio - 'They're exquisite. What a pity we're not better friends with the French.'

Times Zorro Marks a "Z": 0 (13 overall).

Other: Basilio is really handsy around Moneta, and so many cheesy lines. I seriously considered using 'We're all slaves, my dear. Slaves to duty and slaves to beauty.' as quote of the episode, just for how nauseating it is. Interestingly, he did not approach Moneta with an offer of leniency for her father if she married him, as I thought he would. Which shouldn't be surprising, considering he's just accused her father of treason and seized their home. She's hardly going to feel positively towards him. I'd suspect he planned to wait until after he stole the land back from Garcia, but by then, he'll have executed her dad, so I can't see it working then, either.

So maybe the whole thing Moneta is just him playing around. Or beauty doesn't mean as much to him as money and land. Would hardly be surprising if that's the case.

The major problem I have with this episode is Garcia's unwillingness to explain to anyone why he can't clear Don Cornelio. I had thought, when Basilio made that threat, we'd see Garcia start to explain, then notice Mendoza hanging around nearby watching and clam up. But no, Mendoza is never around and Garcia still won't talk. Zorro visits him in his room at night, when there's no one else there, and still the sergeant won't simply explain that it's his head or the don's on the chopping block.

So, uh, apparently Switzerland was hostile to Spain in the 1820s? Because that's where Basilio's pocket watch was from, and Zorro uses it as evidence of Basilio's own treasonous behavior. I looked briefly on Wikipedia, and it mentions the War of the Seventh Coalition in 1815, but they were on the same side (against France). Then nothing until a civil war in 1847. Or is it just a case of Spain not wanting her colonies to trade with anyone other than the mother country? If so, they really should have phrased it that way, because Basilio made it seem as though Spain was at war with practically all of Europe at the time.

Zorro 2.28 - Treasure for the King

Plot: Senor Basilio is still in Los Angeles, and quite unhappy about it. He's being a sulky baby, basically, even refusing to honor his promise to come to luncheon at Senorita Moneta's hacienda when Diego comes to get him. Until, that is, Diego mentions Moneta's father is interested in buying royal bonds. So off they go, and the experience, unfortunately, improves Basilio's opinion of the area. The haciendas are impressive, and the wealth of their owners even more so. As Don Cornelio, Alejandro, and the others buy the bonds, the pile of wealth on Basilio's table grows. At first, he planned merely to take a small "commission", but swiftly changes his plans.

Instead, he plans to send large chests filled with a gourd of water and a cup on one side, and a bunch of gunpowder on the other. In between, a loaded pistol. While the chests are on the ship back to Spain, the rolling of the waves will cause the gourd to spill into the cup, weighing it down, until it draws the string tied to the trigger and the gun fires into the gunpowder, blowing up the ship, and causing everyone to assume the gold and jewels were lost. Of course, Basilio immediately wrecks the plan by publicly asking Diego if he knows of any haciendas in the area for sale, which seems awfully suspicious for a humble servant of the king. Soon enough, the wagon departs, with three chests. But Bernardo tells Diego he saw six chests. Basilio and Mendoza have both left to go. . . somewhere, so our heroes enter his office, and Bernardo distracts the guard while Diego sneaks into Basilio's room. He finds the other chests, but can't pick their locks.

Diego and Bernardo both dress as Zorro, and while Bernardo leads the lancers guarding the wagon on a merry chase, Diego catches up to the wagon. While he's trying to settle the horses, the hitch breaks and the wagon goes flying off a cliff. All the shaking triggered Basilio's Rube Goldberg device and the chests explode. Even so, that night Basilio receives a note telling him the chests were safely loaded on the ship. He and Mendoza rush to ogle their stolen gold, only to find rocks and dirt inside the chests, as well as the mark of Zorro.

Quote of the Episode: Diego - 'He is the arrogant jackass, isn't he?' Alejandro - 'You insult the jackass.'

Times Zorro marks a "Z": 3 (13 overall). One on the inside of the lid to each chest.

Other: Basilio is really bad at subterfuge. Maybe not surprising, considering how poorly he hid his disdain up to then. I guess he's not used to anyone calling him on acting like a pouty child, so he doesn't realize how obvious he is.

Alejandro mentioned that California is more loyal to the King than many of Spain's other colonies. I can't help shaking my head a little at him throwing the other colonies under the bus (to the extent Basilio would even care, which he doesn't), while wondering which colonies he meant. I also wonder if he means the Spanish or native inhabitants of those colonies, because you can't fault the people who were already there when the Spanish arrived for not giving a damn about Spain.

Basilio's also got his eyes on Moneta, and judging by the preview of next week's episode, I think he's going to take a page from Monastario's book and try to win her hand by threatening her father. I don't expect it to go any better for him than it did the Capitan.

At the very start of the episode, Diego rides upon Garcia crossing the square, Reyes right on his heels. Which is frustrating Garcia, who asks the corporal to walk on one side of him or the other, but to stop following him. I thought that was going somewhere, possibly referring to Basilio blaming Garcia for the humiliation Basilio suffered last week, but it never came up again.

Zorro 2.27 - The Man From Spain

Plot: With that crazy Americano back in the mountains, the citizens of Los Angeles are celebrating Sergeant Garcia's birthday. They even got him a pinata. Unfortunately, the festivities are ruined by the arrival of Senor Basilio, the king's emissary from Spain, and his chief goon, Captain Mendoza. He chides Garcia for having a party while Spain is at war, and orders the pinata thrown in the trash. When Diego introduces himself, Basilio mentions he wants to speak to Alejandro, and expects him to come to Basilio. Then he tries to appear tough by ripping up a notice of a 2000 peso reward for Zorro, stating that's how he deals with outlaws. Outlaws are rarely made of paper, senor.

Alejandro arrives, and Basilio goes into his sales pitch. He is selling royal bonds, which the king promises to repay for double their cost within 5 years. And for just five dollars I'll sprout wings and fly to Mars. Alejandro says he'll tell the other dons, and Basilio tells Alejandro he'll put him down for 2500 pesos worth. Diego barely keeps Alejandro from pitching a fit, unfortunately. It doesn't end there, as Basilio sends Mendoza to lean on the innkeeper, and insist he buy 250 pesos of bonds. The innkeeper reasonably points out he can't do that, and Mendoza whispers something in his ear. Later, Diego brings Moneta Esperon, who planned Garcia's party, to see Basilio. She first extends her father's invitation to a luncheon the next day, then asks if the sergeant could have his pinata. Basilio accepts the first, and declines the second, citing a need to maintain discipline.

That night, Sergeant Garcia sneaks out of the cuartel to retrieve his pinata, which is down in the wine cellar of the inn. Unfortunately, Mendoza is down there turning the casks taps on so the wine runs out. He's able to hide before Garcia sees him, the dump an entire wine rack on him. The innkeeper feels compelled to mention it, but is aghast when Basilio orders Garcia placed in the stocks for 24 hours. Unfortunately, the innkeeper isn't willing to risk saying that he suspects Mendoza as the true culprit, so into the stocks Garcia goes, with the pinata hung just above his head, because Basilio's a dick. When Basilio and his thug come out to tease Garcia, Zorro steps out, to advise the emissary to reconsider his approach. The two crooks try to attack Zorro and fail miserably. What's more, Basilio himself winds up in the stocks, and is forced to sing a birthday song for the sergeant in front of the whole town before Zorro escapes.

Quote of the Episode: Basilio - 'Tell me, is Los Angeles infested with outlaws and bandits?'

Times Zorro Marks a "Z": 0 (10 overall).

Other: When Basilio asked that quote (upon seeing the reward poster for Zorro), all I could think was, "in general, the criminals in Los Angeles wear nice clothes and claim to serve the king."

I was surprised and disappointed with Diego. When Bernardo relates hearing Mendoza put the squeeze on the innkeeper, Diego dismisses it, feeling that since the man can't pay, they can't do anything to him. Bernardo wasn't so sure, indicating they could always kill him, and really, Diego should know better. The whole reason he became Zorro is because people in power were abusing said power. At this point, whenever someone from the king or the military shows up and starts throwing his weight around, Diego should automatically assume the guy will have no respect for any laws or regulations that stand in the way of what he wants. Because they never do. They've had one Captain who wasn't a crook or thug, Toledano, and basically every administrator we've seen actually doing his job is kind of a jerk.

I really liked how much Zorro enjoyed making Basilio sing for Garcia. The poor sergeant seemed so surprised and pleased at the start of the episode to get such a nice party, and so downtrodden the rest of the episode. Stuck sweeping and painting walls. And what the hell was that line from Alejandro? 'A new broom sweeps clean? Perhaps this is the start of a new era.' Maybe I was wrong about Alejandro having Garcia's back. Which just means Alejandro is dumber than I thought.

At any rate, I'm sure Basilio will take his public humiliation with good grace and adopt a more collaborative approach with the people of Los Angeles. Or not.

Zorro 2.26 - Manhunt

Plot: Joe Crane has still not returned to the mountains. He's hiding in the hills, wearing willow branches around his boots to hide his scent from Don Carlos' wolf (and Don Carlos isn't pretty pissed at Hernando and Lobo's continued failure), and stopping at Carlotta's for food when she gives the all-clear signal. Then Diego comes to visit Carlotta with a plan he wants to pitch to Joe, so she calls Joe in while Diego waits inside the house. But Joe gets wind of something, and Diego's horse whinnies, so Joe tries hiding in the rain barrel again. Somewhat futile since Carlotta isn't going to cover for him this time. Chastened and wet, Joe listens to Diego's offer to buy Joe's furs and gear from Sergeant Garcia, then give them to Joe so he will leave. Joe recognizes he's getting nowhere fast and agrees.

Unfortunately, when Diego visits the sergeant, he learns Don Carlos had the same idea and got there first. Back at Carlos' hacienda, he's made plants. Esmeraldie is tied up outside the gate, with a man with a musket stationed on the roof of a small shack nearby. That man has a rope connected to the shack's door, and Lobo waits inside. Further into the grounds sits Joe's furs, in the most obvious "TRAP!" placement in history. Hernando lurks on that roof with another musket, and Carlos waits in the shadows nearby (I'm just getting all that out of the way now). At Carlotta and her father's house, Joe is getting sick of waiting, both for his clothes to dry, and Diego to return. He threatens to leave without his clothes if Carlotta doesn't go and fetch them, and not wanting any naked Americanos roaming the countryside (not doubt creating the legend of Bigfoot), she complies, and Joe departs. Sergeant Garcia soon wakes up in bed with a knife to his throat, and it doesn't help when he tells Joe he sold the furs for 14 pesos and 50 centavos. He makes Garcia order the lancers into a cell and locks them all in, before heading for Don Carlos'.

By then, Diego had returned to Carlotta's, learned Joe had left, gone to the cuartel, found Garcia and the lancers locked up, and told Bernardo to play dumb about finding the keys so Zorro could handle this himself. And Zorro makes it to Don Carlos' first, easily dealing with the guard holding the rope to release Lobo, leaving him tied up and dangling, possibly as a warning to Joe (one Joe ignores of course). Joe enters the yard, and it was probably a mistake to let him get all the way to his furs, because with a warning from Zorro, he's able to use them to block Hernando's shot, then use them as a shield to fend off Carlos' sword until he can break it. At which point the don is basically fucked and gets knocked out with Joe's "mountain man clout". All seems well as Joe loads his furs, but then he sees that rope and accidentally frees Lobo. Whoops. But Joe goes into his "wolf" sounds and this convinces Lobo that this guy is probably rabid and shouldn't be eaten, no, Lobo decides Joe is OK and the two of them and Esmeraldie return to the hills.

Quote of the Episode: Carlotta - 'Well, Don Carlos is from an old aristocratic family. He's very proud.' Joe - 'And mean.'

Times Zorro Marks a "Z": 1 (10 overall). On Hernando's jacket.

Other: I feel bad for Hernando. He clearly was not enjoying his work by the start of this episode, getting chewed out by the don, being told he'd be hung up by his thumbs if he failed, having to fight Zorro. That has to be fairly terrifying for your average person, just because he's so clearly a better swordsman you know you haven't got a chance, and you can't be positive he won't kill you.

Diego got a bit frustrated Joe had left Carlotta's by the time he returned. Well perhaps if you hadn't decided to saunter your way back there you might have averted that. Seriously, get the lead out of your saddle, Diego!

That said, the fact Don Carlos was still getting people into position for his trap even as Zorro and Joe close in was surprising. I get that it's unlikely Joe will try to get his furs back in broad daylight, but I also don't see Carlos as a guy who would care about making his vaqueros sit on a roof in the hot sun all day just in case Joe was that crazy.

Complaints aside, I like this arc more than the previous one. Joe as someone from a completely different type of society, and operates on a different set of rules, is a fun contrast. Even though the life of someone like Carlotta or her father is very different from Diego's they still live in the same society, and there are certain rules that are generally unspoken (unless you're dealing with an ass like Don Carlos, who will take pains to remind you of his social status), and they both operate from them. Diego can just ride up to Carlotta's,and basically be certain she will hear him out deferentially. But Joe is operating on a different set of rules, for better or worse, so he's allows for a contrast.

That said, he is a pretty perfect representative of an American. Loud. Enters a foreign country but complete ignores advice from the locals how their customs and practices. Is focused on his economic well-being, and continues to stubbornly risk his neck and cause trouble. Thinks everyone will be really impressed with the stories about life where he comes from. Has a certain rough charm, in the right circumstances, but also pretty sour if things don't go his way. He's a lot of fun, though, and even though I know it isn't going to happen, it would have been neat if Zorro eventually was able to take Joe up on his offer to help if it was ever needed.