Saturday Splash Page #140

 

"Meet Me at the Big Green Lady," in Spider-Man/Human Torch #5, by Dan Slott (writer), Ty Templeton (penciler), Drew Geraci and Greg Adams (inkers), J. Rauch (colorist), Dave Lanphear (letterer)

Released in 2005, Spider-Man/Human Torch was a humorous look at the antagonistic friendship between the title characters over the years. Each issue was set at a different point in their history, and involved the two either one-upping or saving each other, if not both at the same time. Critically, Johnny interacts with both Spider-Man and Peter Parker, while not realizing they're one and the same.

Though the fifth issue is set during the JMS/Bendis' New Avengers era, meaning Peter is a schoolteacher and Aunt May knows he's Spider-Man, Slott and Templeton stick mostly to before Peter's marriage to Mary Jane. This plays into the idea that Johnny can't believe Parker is somehow dating a different beautiful woman every time they cross paths, but it involves the creative team distilling the '90s into "clones," as Johnny keeps mentioning certain team-ups which Spidey responds to with "clone."

(Around the time this mini-series would have come out, I had a rough estimate that 4 years in our time equaled one year in Marvel time. Which means the entire Clone Saga would have been about 6 months, Ben Reilly's time as Spider-Man probably not even half that.)

It isn't until issue 3 (of 5) they even get to the '70s, in what is probably the most commonly cited issue online. Spidey, struggling to pull out of a depression brought on by Gwen's death, asks Johnny to give him driving lessons in the Spider-mobile. The Red Ghost and his Super-Apes get involved, and Spidey stops them with the power of fruit pies.

The various supporting casts are around - Spidey accompanies the FF on a trip inside a difficult-to-reach dimension when he and the Torch swap roles for the day; the Black Cat enlists Johnny's help on a heist inside the Wakandan Embassy when Spidey objects - but the focus is on the two leads. How much they envy each other, how much they can get on each other's nerves. But at the end of the day, neither of them really wishes the other ill. Spidey's not going to let Doom kill Johnny, and Johnny will lend an ear when Spidey's depressed.

Not The Brightest Match In The Box

It occurred to me last week, Squirrel Girl went on a date with Johnny Storm. I didn't think anything of it at the time, since it was part of a montage of failed dates for her, but after the fact. . .

Strange enough that Johnny would have a profile on an Internet dating site, but isn't he in a relationship with Medusa right now? Granted, Johnny isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but Medusa doesn't seem the sort to respond to that chicanery well. Although it's hard to tell with her these days. She seems to vacillate between this kindly, diplomatic ruler who says all the right things, to this occasionally brutally indifferent ruler who can barely be bothered to disguise her contempt for non-Terrigen altered people (especially with regards to maybe, possibly, getting rid of the damn Mists drifting across the world and killing mutants).

I suppose Medusa might shrug it off, especially since Johnny botched the date so spectacularly, but if she doesn't, it could get dicey for the Torch. Jim Hammond might go back to being the only Human Torch alive, which would probably make James Robinson super happy, at least.

Ah, Lighthearted Funtimes!

Wind's really blowing out there. Hope it doesn't knock out the power. . . again. Last weekend I picked up Spider-Man/Human Torch in a bookstore, on the strength of two reviews of it. Lucky me, I got it for four bucks. It was in the bargain shelves, can ya believe that? Ah, good times.

Anyway, it a five-issue mini-series that details some interactions between Webhead and Matchstick at different times in their lives. In most cases there's some conflict between Spidey and the Torch, but on a couple of occasions, the difficulty is between the Torch and Peter Parker, such as when Pete gets an internship with Reed and hits it off with the hot Soviet intern, who has shot the Torch down effortlessly. The envy each guy has for the others' life is a recurring theme throughout the stories, although there are times it rings a little false coming from the Torch. That may be because I'm not as up on my Johnny Storm history as I am Peter Parker, but it was a little odd to see Johnny gawking at Peter Parker having Gwen and MJ glad to see him. . . when the Torch has Crystal sitting right next to him. Of course, that's Johnny for ya, I guess.

Ty Templeton's on the art chores, and I think he does a good job of it. This is meant to be a largely lighthearted story, and his work and the coloring go well with that. It;s not meant to be a dark or gritty tale (even when Pete is talking to Gwen while standing on the bridge where she died), and it doesn't look like one. Plus I loved the facial expressions he gave Johnny in #5 when he learns Pete's big secret. No, not that the Pete is the "Parker" in Mary Jane Watson-Parker. The panel was set too far back for a good view of Johnny's face at that point, silly. Of course, sadly, I suppose that story could never have happened, since Pete was married, and had organic webshooters, and was teaching (did the teaching get taken out of his history? If not, why the hell isn't he still teaching? "Freelance photographer" is really better?! Really?!)

I'm sorry. I didn't plan to bring that stuff up. It is a fun mini-series, with Johnny's hair misadventures, Spidey's introduction to Kirby dots, and appearances by She-Hulk, the Black Cat, Kraven, Paste Pot Pete (sorry, the Trapster), and of course, DOOM! For what mini-series would be complete without Dr. Doom? None, says I!

So yeah, go find Spider-Man/Human Torch. Buy it. And hopefully you'll enjoy it.