Sunday Splash Page #357

"Some of That Old-Time Religion," in Midnight Western Theatre #2, by Louis Southard (writer), David Hahn (artist), Ryan Cody (colorist), Buddy Beaudoin (letterer)

My favorite mini-series of 2021, following Ortensia Thomas, gun-for-hire, and Alexander Wortham, Revolutionary War soldier-turned-vampire. Southard starts each issue with a few pages of Ortensia as a blonde pigtailed girl trying to start up a home with her father in Oregon in 1848, culminating in the men her father hired killing him and sacrificing her.

The majority of each issue, though, is focused on Ortensia (now looking very different) and Alexander at various points through the 1860s. Each of those is its own adventure, often, but not always, involving them dealing with something supernatural, unholy, or just plain strange. I'm not at all sure what the thing they fought in issue 4, which Hahn draws initially a shriveled thing that subsequently Hulks out once it wakes up, was supposed to be.

Those sections aren't in chronological order, as issue 1 is set in 1868, and all the others are set in various earlier years. Which allows Southard to allude to certain things - such as Alexander's complaint in issue 1 about how they'll never reach the coast at this rate, or the preacher in issue 2's remarks about Ortensia - that don't make sense until later issues.

Despite the threats often revolving around cults or creatures that feast on humans, the tone of the stories is kept surprisingly light. Ortensia is unfazed by almost everything they encounter, and Alexander complains mostly about how little he enjoys violence and could they just try a peaceful discussion for once?

Maybe that's a strange approach, but as we see how Ortensia's past unfolded, her blase attitude makes more sense. She's seen worse, she's experienced worse. It also matches Hahn's art, which keeps the violence mostly (but not entirely) bloodless and definitely not graphic. Alexander isn't depicted as a brooding, terrifying creature of the night, but as a well-dressed man, who politely asks the bartender where he could find some livestock, because he's terribly thirsty. Even when he's drawn backlit, wings spreading from his back and only the glint of his eyes visible as men try futilely to shoot him to death, he's yelling at them to stop shooting him, rather than vowing death or anything of that sort.

Plus, it gives the two leads more opportunity to talk, which gives Southard more opportunity to play their personalities off each other. Ortensia's grim determination, where she tends to stay focused on what's straight ahead of her, against Alexander's nervous glancing around as they walk into danger. He's been a vampire for far longer than Ortensia's been what she's become, but he seems to be clinging to his survival instinct a lot harder.

What I Bought 6/3/2023 - Part 3

Friday, Friday, weekend time's upon us. Will I have a fun weekend? Who knows? Not me, because I'm writing this on Tuesday. Last two of the May books.

Grit N Gears #1, by Angel Fuentes (writer), Nahuel SB (artist), Carlos Mangual (letterer) - In a word of vague orange shapes, one robot, with one arm, stands. . .OK I'm bored with this bit.

So there's a one-armed robot named Screw Driver that gets run out of town for stealing. But he used to be a law-enforcing robot called Ranger One. Most of this is Fuentes and Nahuel showing how things got to that point. Ranger One was created by a woman whose deputy husband was recently slain. The robot's popularity caused them to make more cop-bots until one came to the idea the best way to prevent crime is to kill the people that could commit crimes. Meaning all people.

Cue the predictable human response to destroy all robots, and that's more or less how Ranger One ends up a one-armed fugitive, uninterested in helping his creator look after what is either her daughter, or a robot she built based on her daughter. That part is unclear. The kid was born alive, at least.

Nahuel avoids having all the automatons look the same. Ranger One has a tall cylindrical head, a bit like Scud the Disposable Assassin but with only one big eye. But the rogue, who calls himself Razoneck starts out with his central eye surrounded by a curved helmet and a circular microphone/exhaust port for a mouth. He may have alter attached a human jawbone to his face, too. None of his subordinates look like him. So there's a level of individuality that suggests these are real beings and not simple tools gone bad.

It's kind of an odd book, or I'm just not familiar enough with steampunk. Ranger One's activated in 1877, during the blighted presidency of Rutherford B. Hayes. But there are flying cathedrals, and Ranger One introduces himself by playing a song by Kenny Rogers, who explains has not been born yet. I'm disputing that fact, unless Highlander was about Kenny Rogers and I didn't know it, but it's a strange approach. Is Fuentes trying to do some evolution through the different types of Western heroes. Go from the Roy Rogers singing cowboy to more of a Randolph Scott sheriff to an Eastwood style antihero? If so, the story's cycling through pretty fast.

Impossible Jones and Captain Lightning #1, by Karl Kesel (writer/inker), David Hahn (penciler), Tony Avina (colorist), Comicraft (letterer) - The store only had the Dark Knight Returns parody, so I went with that. At least one of the character's has lightning powers, so it's appropriate.

Jones' attempt to let someone else steal an original printing of Shakespeare's writing, so she can recover it later and get the finder's fee, is ruined when the Bearded Lady and her Freakshow try to fight instead of just running away. So Jones ends up with the book, without it getting successfully stolen.

Then Captain Lightning shows up, asking her to stop the fabled Section Zero from stealing a mysterious rock from the local evil super-science corporation. Jones agrees, figuring it might make the Captain less suspicious of her. Section Zero does show up - two of them anyway - and they fight with our title characters across the city. Jones recovers the stone, then loses it down a geothermal vent when Captain Lightning tells her to hand it over. They argue a bit, a guy who looks like Mightor from the Hanna-Barbara cartoons finds the rock deep underground, that's pretty much it.

Kesel's still introducing more mysteries, or more hints. I'm pretty sure the "Volte Foundation" Captain Lightning mentions as someone the rock could be trusted with is probably run by the Captain's secret identity, and Jones thinks the guy is planning some run at becoming mayor. We got some more villains, though I'm not sure if ClownCar is just a bunch of clowns or one clown taht can duplicate himself, Multiple Man-style.

Not really much more on the origin of Jones' powers, beyond that we see them continuing to expand. She can make the lenses of her goggles function like binoculars, there doesn't seem to be a strict limit to how many additional limbs she can create. Let's Hahn play around with her look a bit, between those abilities and the stealth costume she whips up for the break-in.

Sunday Splash Page #259

 

"The Gold Ball and Chain," in Impossible Jones #4, by Karl Kesel (writer/inker), David Hahn (penciler), Tony Avina (colorist), Comicraft (letterer)

I think this was funded on Kickstarter originally, but I ran into it as a four-issue mini-series released through Scout Comics late in 2021. Kesel and Hahn do a variation on Plastic Man's origin - the thief who gains stretching/shape-shifting powers - but where Plas became a legit hero, Impossible Jones is mostly playing hero as cover to figure out who threw her in whatever super-science gizmo did this to her and then try to take revenge.

Also, the hero biz is good cover for pulling her own heists, or pawning loot she recovers from other super-villains.

We don't get answers to the mysteries, beyond her finding someone in her crew was hired to knock her out, but had nothing to do with the super-science. Kesel and Hahn sprinkle in hints, like the fact Jones' shadow seems to have a mind of its own (and Even Steven up there recognizes it, whatever it is). The story does more world-building, establishing several other heroes and villains, issuing vague references to all kinds of backstories. The city seems to have a hero identity that is passed around between citizens for a year at a time, though the specifics were not revealed.

Hahn varies the styles of costumes. There are the more classic spandex types, but also the folks with more regular clothes repurposed into a motif, like Homewrecker there. Impossible Jones' powers allow for a lot of different visual looks and gags, and they have some fun with that.

There's been a few one-shots released since the end of the mini-series, slowly coming out in physical media, but I don't think they've dived any deeper into the mysteries around the main character yet.

What I Bought 1/2/2023 - Part 4

Last two comics of 2022! Decided to group the books from Scout Comics together. Works as well as any other sorting method according to my talking baseball cap.

Impossible Jones: Naughty or Nice #1, by Karl Kesel (writer/inker), David Hahn (penciler), Tony Avina and Ryan Cody (colorists), Comicraft (letterer) - So um, what does the "naughty" option entail? Asking for a friend.

The one-shot has two loosely connected stories. In the first, I.J. is planning to swipe the original puppets from a beloved Christmas special when Holly Daze takes over the airwaves and makes threats of a big bomb if she doesn't get a white Christmas. Jones is willing to ignore that, but one of the other heroes shows up, and when it turns out Holly's got some superpowered back-up, Imp can't stay out of it. I like Demolition's design. It's very simple, a t-shirt with a logo and some wrist bracers, but it works. He doesn't talk at all, and based on Imp's description of him, I wonder if he's a bit like Mad Stan from Batman Beyond. A more elaborate look might not make sense.

As it turns out, Holly really did just want a white Christmas, and to steal the puppets while everyone is freaking out over her bomb threat, but she left one for Imp. The other story picks up near the tail end of the first. Even Steven receives an anonymous Christmas gift, and is frustrated that he doesn't know who to give a gift as a thank you. That can't stand, as it's uneven! A gift must be matched with one in return! 

Kesel sets it up that Even Steven's power about keeping things fair extends to his very nature. Not only that he won't join a fight that's an even match, but he seeks out Impossible Jones because he believes she can do impossible things. It's in her name, and heroes' names should accurately convey their abilities.

Imp does come up with a satisfactory solution, and Kesel adds in a little more about either her nature, or her powers, through what could be a throwaway comment by Even Steven. So both stories function as easily accessible standalones, but also work at building on the initial mini-series, which is nice.

She Bites #3, by Hedwig Hale (writer), Alberto Hernandez R. (artist), Dave Lanphear (letterer) - Those photo booths always start faster than you can get ready.

Brenda freaks out over her lifelong nemesis being dead in the dressing room. Elsie alternates between amused and annoyed by the dramatics, but they manage to get Amber out of the mall by stealing her car. When they're ready to dump the body, Brenda has a soliloquy about how even if Amber was a terrible person, it's too bad she didn't get to marry an asshole, have some kids, get addicted to pills. You know, live. Hernandez focuses those panels on Brenda and Amber's corpse, with  Elsie either off-panel or only part of her leg visible.

Probably because she's rolling her eyes, as that's when she reveals Amber's not dead (or going to become a vampire), and all this was to teach Brenda a lesson about the value of her own life. As approaches go, I would prefer a foul-mouthed undead child kill my enemy to an angel showing me the world if I never existed. Push that damn angel in a boiler.

After polishing off the evening watching Lion King - it gets two vampire thumbs up for surprising amounts of murder! - Brenda collects her pay and leaves. But maybe she's not ready to shuffle off just yet. I'm not sure which place on Elsie's list I want to see them visit most. The cockfight, Costco, a strip club? The possibilities for mayhem are endless, although Costco probably has an entire aisle devoted to monster killin', so that might be the way to go.

Amber also wakes up on a park bench, out for revenge, so maybe we'll get more of this some day. I doubt somehow Brenda's completely lost the impulse to end her existence, especially if Amber comes after her (or Elsie) in an ugly enough manner.

I'm curious if Elsie can sprout wings or turn to smoke or anything like that. Hernandez is good at shifting between her looking cruel or angry, with the occasional glimpses of something like childlike joy or happiness. But she never gets too monstrous looking, and I don't know if that's simply something she can't do, or there hasn't been a situation that required it yet. Given everything, I don't know if it would impact how Brenda sees her, but it might.

What I Bought 4/4/2022 - Part 2

Wednesday was all about second issues, but today is for fourth issues. Including the end of one mini-series.

Impossible Jones #4, by Karl Kesel (writer/inker), David Hahn (penciler), Tony Avina (colorist), Comicraft (letterers) - The old ball n' chain isn't interested in a gold mine, just in making sure Impossible Jones gets the shaft. Eh, that's not a great merging of two lamentations upon the misery of marriage.

Fresh off her first outing as a "hero", Isabelle goes looking for Jimmy. She finds his apartment wrecked, and Fosca snooping around. Fosca's finally recognized Isabelle, and knows what's happened to her, though she doesn't seem to be responsible. She at least gives Isabelle a lead on where to find Jimmy, who's about to lose his arm since he can't get the device they stole off. Time for Impossible Jones' second super-villain battle, and it doesn't go much better than the first until Even Steven shows up. 

Though you can see Isabelle gaining more confidence in her abilities. Hahn draws her not only using multiple arms, but different types. Human arms with boxing gloves, tentacles, rocklike arms. She's not surprised at what she can do anymore, either, which is a nice way to show progression. Though when Homewrecker gets in a really good shot, Isabelle notes she feels a lot of somethings break, but she's still up and fighting a couple pages later. So it may be an unconscious thing, her expanding the limits of her powers without realizing it.

So, four issues to get us back to where the issue 1 started, Impossible Jones with a stolen necklace she retrieved from a villain. We got her origin, though there are still mysteries afoot about who did this to her, why, and what exactly they did. She doesn't know where Jimmy ended up thanks to the device, and there's an unscrupulous former fed turned scientist who knows the true identity of the city's newest hero. She seems to have found a way to make the hero thing pay, but I feel like word of that is going to get around.

I don't know. The notion seemed to be, thief gets superpowers, pretends to be hero while finding the one who set her up. But we didn't get to "finding the one who set her up," because while Fosca certainly set up Isabelle's betrayal, she isn't the one who threw her in the weird science machine that gave her these powers. And the question of who did do that doesn't seem to be on Isabelle's mind any longer, since it apparently doesn't merit mention in her internal monologue at the end of the issue. I'm not disappointed in the mini-series; I'd certainly be interested in Kesel and Hahn doing more with the character. More dissatisfied, I guess. A lot of tease, but not much payoff.

The Rush #4, by Si Spurrier (writer), Nathan Gooden (artist), Addison Duke (colorist), Hassan Otsmane-Elhaou (letterer) - First wilderness rule: No eye contact with a bloody-eyed child.

Nettie's ready to throw in the towel, and finally gives in to the polite Mountie's urging that she leave. She's not the only one, and the find once they get to the edge of Brokehoof that spring has arrived, just not in that blighted crater. And not everyone is allowed to leave, as the Pale arrives on its giant spider to inform them. Those who are far enough gone the gold is appearing beneath their skin, must stay. They belong to the ground. That includes M.P., who we see has begun digging at his arms at some point in a panel where Duke colors his arm noticeably red than his face and Gooden draws pointy bumps from under the skin. Otsmane-Elhaou adds in a "schlooorb" sound effect in a squiggly golden font that just looks unpleasant. 

At least a few object and try to fight it out with a man with a wormhole for a face and a giant spider for a steed. That goes as well as you'd expect. Nettie tries to retreat to town with M.P., but they're intercepted by the Pale and the spider. But they can't kill her, or they won't. The pale phrases it as the latter, but I kind of suspect it's the former. She's not her for greed or wealth, she's not tainted by whatever brought all this madness forth.

And it's getting worse, because even as we learn the Mountie used Nettie as bait, the weird winged creature shows up to attack the Pale. Then a giant golden salmon bursts from a frozen stream to speak to them. Then the giant, gold crying moose makes an appearance.

Is Nettie's presence what's causing all this? She has consistently shown no interest in the gold, only in finding Caleb. Even the Pale knows it, because it uses that to barter for its life, and then the "Carrion Kid" attacks. So these creatures aren't all on the same side, or there are rules they have to abide by, and the Pale was breaking one of them. I'd figure each of the monsters used to be a person, since Tsikamin (aka Bill) seems to know who the Pale used to be. But that would mean the moose used to be a person, too. Maybe. Bill said there's a legend about something that happens when there's a crime, or a man becomes "over-mighty", but what was the crime, and why does it manifest in people digging gold from under their skin?

All sorts of questions, and the only thing I feel reasonably sure of is Nettie won't enjoy the answers she gets about Caleb. The Pale said he's alive, he didn't say anything about what state he's in, or if he's still human. I think he might be the Carrion Kid now.

What I Bought 2/28/2022 - Part 2

Spent a long Saturday with Alex at one of his gigs. But the weather was nice, and I was probably overdue to get my ass in gear and actually do something over a weekend. For today, we have two third issues, one of them a conclusion.

Tales from the Dead Astronaut #3, by Jonathan Thompson (writer), Jorge Luis Gabotto (artist) - That's a very cruel funhouse mirror they've got there.

All the stories wrap up. The shapeshifting rock star performs a song at the funeral of his friend and partner, before retiring to an empty bathroom to stare in the mirror. As he has through the previous two issues, Gabboto draws the musician changing appearance in each panel, but here he gradually grows taller and more humanlike as he goes along. I'm guessing that by the end, he's back to how he looked in the good old days, but maybe he's just mirroring his deceased pal?

In the story of the species that wanders through space, the individual who decided to set out alone is gradually turning the world they landed to a green one full of life. The rest of his people have remained in the little copse of trees they arrived in, going through their death/rebirth cycle. So he's the one who's "found" what they sought for however long, by creating it himself. The others either don't realize it, or don't care. There's something interesting there, that notion that many of us are looking for something unique and expecting it to just land in front of us, rather than trying to create it. Or we think it couldn't be that simple, so we don't recognize it when we see it.

Alexander and his sister Lily go to war, and she wins, tearing his suit apart and exposing him as a frail little person. That's fine, but I wonder what she's going to do now? Great, you (eventually) stopped your warmongering brother. That ending feels the most perfunctory, the big man is actually small, and Gabotto's art doesn't really seem suited for a power armor fight.

As for the dead astronaut himself, apparently he wasn't supposed to leave the examination room, so the aliens are chasing him around. His face gets torn off, but he's still alive and leaps back into space. Not where I expected that to go, but OK. Overall a mixed bag. I think all three stories had issues where their part was stronger than others. The Star's was probably issue 2, the one about the colonizing aliens, I think either this issue or the first.

Impossible Jones #3, by Karl Kesel (writer/inker), David Hahn (penciler), Tony Avina (colorist), Comicraft (letterer) - It's certainly one approach for displaying your collection, but she's definitely not in mint condition now.

Three years earlier, we watch Even Steven face off against Bloodblade, and shrug off a knife in the back to win. The FBI sent two agents to try to learn more about Even Steven, but one of them is Fosca, who was Impossible Jones' woman on the inside for her heist gone wrong, and the one Jones was questioning about that last issue. Unfortunately, Fosca's made a connection with Bloodblade, now Saint of Knives, and Jones is put on the run. Out the window, in fact. Neither dies, a couple more heroes show up, and Saint of Knives ends up with knives in his chest. Meanwhile, her friend Jimmy's adapting to his power when he gets attacked by Homewrecker. I started laughing typing that name. Still better than "Polecat", though.

I don't know if Saint of Blades has some specific knife ability, or it's just telekinesis and knives are a handy focal point, but I like the variety of uses we see. Not just him making the knives track Jones as she tries to dodge, but he can levitate as long as he's holding onto a knife, and he pulls a door off its hinges by drawing the knives back to himself. Although it seems like the knives would just pull out of the door, but whatever.

Along those same lines, Jones continuing to figure out new things she can do on the fly. The spreading of the suit into wings, forming a third arm. Polecat's nervous question of whether she'll get rid of it by having it fall off, along with her own comment that she's gotta try and get rid of the right one, made me laugh. We see heroes struggle to adjust to their new powers, but it's usually in trying to find their limits, or in learning control and making mistakes. Tobey Maguire's first attempt at web-swinging, where he just crashed into the side of a building, for example. Here, she alternates between reveling in what she can do, but also being confused and disturbed by it. And all of it makes sense, considering she still doesn't understand where this power came from.

It's a little hard to believe she was a successful thief prior to this, considering how much she wings everything. She tries to make peace with the Saint of Blades by wrapping up Polecat, and when that fails to impress him or Captain Lightning, she turns around and saves the heroes from the Saint of Blades. Then decides she might as well speak to the press and play along with the hero thing in two panels. 

Charitably, it shows an ability to adapt on her part. To figure out the advantages and angles quickly. As she notes, heroes don't get shot at by cops (maybe in her fictional universe, let's ask Spider-Man about that), and people tell them all sorts of useful stuff. I am curious what sort of resolution we're going to get in the fourth issue. Is she going to figure out if Fosca was the one responsible for her current state, is anyone going to figure out who she really is? I'm not expecting everything to get answered or settled, because I think Kesel and Hahn are trying to turn this into something that has legs, but I think something has to get some closure.

What I Bought 1/10/2022 - Part 1

Despite the place I planned to buy them from having their shipment delayed for a week, and then something weird going on with the post office for three days last week (the package showed as not having even reached the post office, then was suddenly in the state with no updates in between), I have the last three comics from 2021. Huzzah!

Tales from the Dead Astronaut #2, by Jonathan Thompson (writer), Jorge Luis Gabotto (artist) - Not a one of them masked. Terrible protocol breach.

The dead astronaut was picked up by an alien vessel and by the end of the issue, may no longer be dead. Turns out we're not getting three new stories, but continuations of the three from the first issue. The shapeshifting rock star finds being a solo act depressing, while his buddy lives it up drinking and meeting women. Until he dies. Turns out the machinist guy that decided to conquer the world had a sister even better at making things than him. Who built her own war suit and promptly killed her brother. Probably. And in the story about the people who live connected to a grove of trees that float around and land on different worlds searching for life, one member has decided it might be better for them to create something themselves, instead of just looking for someone else to have already done it.

Of the three, the last is most interesting to me because I could see it go several different ways. Split along generational lines, the one stays behind alone while the others move on (and maybe drift back millions of years later), the one gets killed as defective, a bunch of other possibilities. The other two, I just don't care that much either way.

Gabotto's art still has a lot of panels where either the linework is very light or the coloring (which still seems like watercolors) overwhelms it and makes things kind of muddled. It's not all the time; comes and goes and maybe it's as simple the main characters get heavier lines and less washed colors. It makes them pop off the page more than all the supporting characters, solidifies their standing as the important one. But it still gives the whole thing a messy air. 

Having bought two of the three issues, I'll probably just go for it and buy the third later this month, but it'd be in the hope there's something intriguing waiting at the end, because for now, this mini-series is not producing much reaction.

Impossible Jones #2, by Karl Kesel (writer/inker), David Hahn (penciler), Tony Avina (colorist), Comicraft (letterer) - That's a cool jacket. I would take one of those, put it right next to the '90s Ray jacket I would buy if it was a thing that existed.

This issue is all a flashback to immediately over Belle realized she's got weird powers. She has to escape the ruin of the Tech Arcana lab, with powers she doesn't entirely grasp. She pulls that off, but her attempt to track down the member of her heist who betrayed her runs into some complications. Her first guess agrees he did graze her with a gunshot and throw her in a closet (though he doesn't recognize Belle, maybe bullets bouncing off her threw him), but he wouldn't know how to toss her in a 'weird-ass sci-fi room'. 

So she goes looking for the lady who helped them break in. Who seems suitably nervous (and also doesn't recognize Belle), but might be about the palette-swapped Clockwork Orange looking guy calling himself the "Saint of Knives." And as with all stretchy people, bullets may not bother Belle, but sharp instruments do. There's also a couple of pages devoted to Belle's friend Jimmy, who thinks she's dead and starts fiddling with the device they stole. Which turns him into something like the Spot, but with pixels rather than dark circles.

Kesel and Hahn are really working hard to try and worldbuild on the fly. Quick descriptions of different parts of the city, established crimelords, alien cultures, things like that. I don't think the story is getting bogged down in it. . .yet. We'll see if they can continue to toe the line. Hahn's working to make the sections of the city look distinct in how apartments to look, and while I was glib about Jimmy's transformation, it's honestly kind of cool.

What I Bought 10/4/2021 - Part 2

It's David Hahn Day! I mean, I don't think it's his birthday. It could be I guess, but both comics today were drawn by him, so according to the Blog Constitution, that counts.

Midnight Western Theatre #5, by Louis Southard (writer), David Hahn (artist), Ryan Cody (colorist), Buddy Beaudoin (letterer) - Alex has got some serious veins on his shins.

The flashback portion shows us that Ortensia woke up after the guys who killed her father tried to sacrifice her. She was not dead, or at least not dead dead, and they were all crispy fried. Then a woman named Sarah, who looks like a rather desiccated Pilgrim found her. And that's all we get on her backstory.

The main part of the issue is her first meeting with Alexander, 15 years later, when she's hired to kill the "Chupacabra" feasting on some ranchers goats. Surprise, it's a very lonely for Revolutionary War soldier turned vampire! Alexander is OK with dying, if he can just have a conversation first. Ortensia reluctantly agrees, he offers his origin as having gotten lost marching in the snow and being found by a peculiar woman. Who then bit him on the neck. He escaped, but now he's a vampire. Who only feeds on animals, mind you.

It's interesting that Hahn gives Alexander vacant white eyes, except in the page where he's feeding on the goats and they're black voids with a red dot in the center. But for the woman who rescued/turned Alexander, Hahn gives her eyes that are entirely black. Is that some signal as to the difference in their status? She's a full vampire, he's not? Or just a representation that she's killed and fed on many people, and Alexander has refrained. One tainted by their choices, the other not.

Long story short, Ortensia feels kinship with someone who was turned into something without a choice, and gives him the opportunity to work for her. Or stay in the cave in what's left of his ragged clothes. And the rest is. . . the first four issues of this mini-series. So far. It feels like Southard left enough space to return to some day. Sarah's an enigma to be sure, and what happened after Ortensia and Alex moved to her property in Oregon is another question. 

Maybe we'll get some more some day. That'd be nice.

Impossible Jones #1, Karl Kesel (writer/inker), David Hahn (penciler), Tony Avina (colorist), Comicraft (letterer) - If you're going to try and stop a thief with a barrier, pick something more sturdy.

Impossible Jones is a hero with stretchy powers, which may or may not come from an other-dimensional alien parasite/symbiote she picked up after being caught in some sort of incident with a quantum generator. Of course, she was caught up in it because she's actually a thief named Belle, who was helping a disgruntled employee of the CEO of a tech company (who is also a super-criminal, possibly with snake powers) rob said company. Belle thinks her crew betrayed her, but at present, the person meddling with the controls of the machine she was trapped in is unknown. Although her buddy Jimmy is definitely acting jumpy.

Even for the comic being 28 pages, Kesel and Hahn fit quite a bit in there. Belle's origin and her crew. We see at least three other costumed heroes and villains each, and here about a couple more. There are all sorts of hints to rivalries and long-running problems, and at least one strange hero legacy, called "Persephone", that seems to be carried by a person for one year, then passed to someone else. 

The hows and the whys are unknown, but I like that Kesel writes it as though this is a universe in progress we've stepped into. The story doesn't stop to explain all the backstory, or this would just be an expository issue. We've got Christmas-themed villainy, betrayals, rivalries, all sorts of stuff going that we hopefully get to tease out as the story goes along.

Kesel's inks soften Hahn's artwork a fair bit. Characters' faces aren't as sharply defined. Ortensia has a jawline that could cut roast, while Belle's is a bit rounder. They have a similar shape to the nose, but Kesel emphasizes different aspects of it than Hahn. Hahn's shadows are heavier, too. thicker and darker than Kesel's.

It fits the characters and their stories, much like Avina and Cody's respective color work does. Impossible Jones is a much brighter book, appropriate for what feels like maybe a Bronze Age super-hero book. Midnight Western Theatre tends to darker colors, but also more solid colors. Less shading. It's Western horror. Even if one of the heroes is a vampire, there's still right and wrong. The ones who hurt, and the ones who help. Belle is a costumed hero sometimes, but she's not above keeping the loot she kept from being stolen for herself. In a bit of a grey area there. Not always bad, not always good.

What I Bought 8/27/2021 - Part 3

Since I'm writing this Tuesday evening, hopefully I got through my two days in the field without incident and am right now enjoying an early start to my weekend. Fingers crossed! Here's two issues of one comic I've been quite enjoying.

Midnight Western Theatre #3 and 4, by Louis Southard (writer), David Hahn (artist), Ryan Cody (colorist), Buddy Beaudoin (letterer) - It's funny to me how Andrasofszky's covers make Alexander look alternately dangerous or suave, when he's actually a bit of a goober. Not an unpleasant one, but still kind of a whiny, sheltered young man.

As with the first two issues, 3 and 4 both start in the 1840s, with Ortensia and her father in Oregon. This time, we learn Ortensia's father wasn't nearly the judge of men he claimed, and what that got both of them. Him killed, her used as a virgin sacrifice by some schlubs hoping for immortality. I'm going to assume by her continued unusual existence they didn't get it.

Past that, both issues spend most of their pages in the 1860s. Issue 3 fragments itself a little further by positioning that part of the story as being told by a Native American named Ata'halne to his grandsons in the 1890s. About how he didn't go along with mass relocation of his people, and found a man wearing one of those plague masks who told him, if he hunted down and killed a "skinwalker" that was terrorizing people, he would find his destiny. He does not kill the Yee Naaldlooshi, which looks like a stag on two legs with a wolf's face and its chest cavity open, because he took Ortensia's advice and ran. Which he argues was the intelligent decision, because he's alive to have made a home, and have children and grandchildren. That seeking your destiny is foolish because it will find you. Sounds like an excuse to sit on the couch and eat snacks all day.

The flashback is presented as all full-page splashes with a particular border. I don't think Hahn changes his art style in any substantial way, but the shading is definitely different. In issue 4, a lot of the shading is masses of little black dots, which is not the case for issue 3. And the coloring on the full-page splashes has a certain weathered look to it. Irregular splotches that almost look like water stains. I don't know why that shift in approach at all, I just know I see it.

As for issue 4, most of the action takes place the year after Ortensia and Alexander saved Ata'halne. This time around they're hunting down some misshapen creature that can Hulk out when angry or threatened, and it's not going well. Alexander's had enough, and wants to quit this fighting monsters stuff. Ortensia storms off without him to finish the job, but returns to the town when it's over to find him in the bar. Apparently she's not quite willing to go on alone, and she does still own that land. . .

I think next issue is mostly going to cover how they met, but I'm curious if we'll see how that future goes. Alexander seemed to think Ortensia was searching for something that could actually kill her, but maybe she just needs to let it come to her instead. Building a house doesn't mean they have to stop roaming entirely, or that there won't be any trouble.

The conversation between them is awkward, but in a cute way. Alexander's always nervous around her, but he can't conceal how happy he is she's actually taking his concerns to heart. And Ortensia shifts between being defensively aggressive, leaning forward and jabbing her finger to make absolutely clear about certain points, but Hahn makes sure you can see uncertainty in her eyes when she explains she just wants him to understand. Kinder emotions are harder for her, but she doesn't want Alexander to be disappointed in what she's offering. Alexander seems to be assured enough not to let it phase him. Willing to put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Even when she's insisting it's her land, not their land, he just lets it roll off and defuses it.

What I Bought 7/6/2021 - Part 3

For today, we've got a pair of second issues. Two issue #2s. One I enjoyed, one not so much. So kind of a good head, bad head thing. This post is starting to feel like a Two-Face crime. Hopefully Batman doesn't come smashing through my sliding door to break my face. I don't think that's covered by renter's insurance.

Yuki vs. Panda #2, by Graham Misiurak (writer), A.L. Jones (artist/letterer) - Meteorologists say the "looming panda" storm front will be with us for a while, bringing high temperatures and extended stupidity.

The first half of the issue is to introduce us to Yuki's friends, Madesin and Bernard. "Madesin"? Really? And her father's a pastor. Why would a pastor put the word "sin" in his daughter's name? Especially when it requires such an idiotic spelling? OK, OK, deep breath breath Calvin, focus on other things. Madesin, yeesh, may be in love with Yuki, or she just may be an enthusiastic best friend. Bernard is the sarcastic, delusional one, who is apparently building himself a sexbot? A little frightened to see how that Chekov's Gun is going to go off. Yuki finally arrives carrying a huge backpack as training. Which her grandfather was hiding inside, so he could pop out and take a photo of them being surprised.

If he's that bored, you'd think he'd spend more time with online dating.

The other half of the issue is focused on the panda, who spends it monologing about everything he's gone through over the years searching for the child who bit his ear. This includes working in a call center and raking some trailer trash lady's lawn without her permission. He also gets fired from his job at the hot dog cart because he's so lost in thought he lets them get robbed. Except then he stops the thief as they run off. But he also burns his hot dog cart hat and attacks everybody, so maybe he's not cut out for customer service. And all that takes place in the same town Yuki lives, not that he knows that.

Not to sound like Ian Malcolm, but I was expecting more of Yuki fighting the panda in a book called Yuki vs. Panda. I know, I know, table-setting, character introduction, mood establishment. And the contrast between the two leads is sort of interesting. Yuki clearly never thinks about that day, though it's unclear if she ever thinks about anything at all. She admits she's stopped wondering why her grandfather is training her like this, or to what purpose. She's drifting mentally through life, while being pushed towards an unclear goal. Her expressions are most often dismay or confusion, and the weight of the crap her grandfather puts her through is literally pushing her down.

The panda, fixated on a particular humiliation, drifts physically through life. He has a clear goal, but no notion of how to achieve it. Jones draws the panda as walking through the world with his head down, wide straw hat pulled low. A sort of perpetual gloom or fog surrounds him outside brief moments of peace that are shattered by the next panel. But the world around him is bright and sunny. People are happy and laughing, but all he sees is his own misery. 

And all of that is me talking out of my ass like I was Ace Ventura.

Midnight Western Theatre #2, by Louis Southard (writer), David Hahn (artist), Ryan Cody (colorist), Buddy Beaudoin (letterer) - A skeleton horse certainly looks cool, but I imagine it's difficult to find a saddle that fits comfortably.

The issue opens with a brief scene from Ortensia's childhood, when her father has a disagreement with some men working for him, but tells her to learn how to read people, and that he knows a good man when he sees one. Given how Ortensia ended up, I'm going to guess he's not as good at it as he thinks.

17 years later, Ortensia and Alexander show up at a disturbing church in the middle of nowhere, looking for a missing girl. The preacher invites them in to be saved, although they'll be crucified if they refuse. So they go in, and descend into a crypt full of idiots in robes. Always encouraging, at least, it is if you're looking to re-enact any number of parts of Resident Evil 4. The loonies worship Samual, which is a red-eyed Doberman. Who just seems to bark mindlessly until Ortensia reaches for her gun. At which point it manages to say "BULLET!" So she obliges, and gives it a bullet. Cue the fight scene.

17 minutes later, everyone's dead save Ortensia, Alexander, and the head priest. Who is very happy, because they've sent everyone on to their god. He asks they do the same for him, and she basically tells him to suffer and die slow. But the girl they were after refused to join, so they'll be bringing back a corpse. Mission accomplished?

The best bit in all this is when Alexander initially refuses to go inside because he's convinced going inside a church is bad for a vampire. Which he thinks he was told by someone in Jersey in 1789. His relief when learns Ortensia is right and that's not true, replaced in the next panel by childish annoyance that he's been afraid of churches for three-quarters of a century for nothing was pretty funny. Although, this feels like a Satanist church, so I'm not sure that's the best judge of whether he could go inside, you know a Baptist church or a synagogue or whatever.

Ortensia is a little gentler with Alexander than she was in the first issue. Not a lot, but she reassures him that he can go inside the church, and that she wouldn't lie to him. It's a bit of a softer moment for her, not quite saying she wants him there to have her back, but implying it. Otherwise, Hahn draws her with a fairly neutral expression until there's violence to be done. A distinct contrast from Alexander's increasingly nervous look as they're surrounded and told to kneel. She's trying to follow her father's suggestion. Watch the people she's dealing with, and having judged the kind of people they are, wait for the proper moment to act.

I'm really enjoying these done-in-one stories, and Southard is sprinkling in other things that I assume are going to build to something by the end. For example, that both Alexander and Ortensia have died previously. Not a surprise with the vampire, and maybe not for her, either, given the skeleton horse, but I'm definitely curious.

Random Back Issues #61 - Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane #19

It was difficult for Flash to make his friends understand that trying to meet Spider-Man by causing lots of grease fires was a good plan, actually.

We last looked at this series 14 months ago, in the Before Times. When thoughts of working from home didn't even exist in my mind. At that point, MJ and Harry were both deemed the biggest flirts in school. Now, the two of them are dating. Like drawn to like.

This issue is mostly about Flash, though, who is sleeping a lot in school and during practice, and hearing about it from his girlfriend Liz constantly. No one knows what's happening, but while on a date with Harry, Mary Jane happens to spy Flash in the kitchen. His dad lost his job, and his new job doesn't pay a well, so Flash is helping support the family. He doesn't want Harry or Liz to know, because they'll either give him a lot of grief, or Harry will just give him a lot of money. Self-sufficiency is nice, but Flash admits that if he does well in football and keeps his grades up he could get a full ride to college. So maybe he should accept help that allows for that.

 

Spidey shows up at MJ's door as she gets home, hoping to talk, but she asks if they can wait until tomorrow. He agrees and swings back off into the night. The next day, MJ goes against Flash's wishes and tells Harry and Liz anyway. Harry laughs and offers money, Liz complains a lot about Flash not telling her (while making some hilarious facial expressions.) Swell friends. Still, when she insists they all need to help Flash somehow, those two listen.

MJ meets Spidey for a rooftop chat. He's dating Firestar (completely forgot about that) and she wants them to reveal their secret identities to each other. He's hesitant because there's another girl he's still hung up on and not sure about. If he shows Firestar who he is, that's a serious step, and he doesn't want to take that if he's still thinking about this other girl. Sensible enough, I suppose. MJ says it's a sign of how good a person he is this worries him, and that he should trust himself to make the right choice. 

 

When she gets home, she finds Liz and Harry waiting, who have come up with a way to help Flash. Harry bought him a pillow that'll help him sleep better, designed by a 'rocket scientist or something.' Liz got him a coffee pot with an alarm clock, so he'll have a 'fresh dose of piping hot caffeine waiting' in the morning. She also tells Flash she's gonna yell at him, but not today. Mary Jane was going to get Peter Parker to tutor Flash, but realized that was a bad idea. Flash agrees. Yeah, Peter's got better things to do than help a guy who makes his life miserable. Like saving lots of ungrateful dickhead New Yorkers from the Vulture or something.

The issue ends with Flash thanking Harry, and Felicia Hardy (who previously made Liz very insecure about her relationship with Flash) apparently setting her sights on the Osborn heir. There's only one issue left, so I'm pretty sure most of these plotlines did not get resolved.

 

Also, there's a Mini-Marvels back-up where the Hulk tries to follow everyone's advice when he takes Betty on a date. But Thunderbolt Ross sends a robot to spy on them and a fight breaks out. Lots of references to not trying any "funny stuff" and Bill Cosby which, yeah.

[10th longbox, 119th comic. Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane #19, by Sean McKeever (writer), David Hahn (artist), Christina Strain (colorist), Dave Sharpe (letterer). Mini-Marvels "Hulk Date", by Chris Giarrusso (writer/artist)]

What I Bought 3/17/2021 - Part 1

Between the relatively few books I'm getting, and it being a five-Wednesday March, it's been, not feast or famine, more moderately-filling snack and famine? But there were three comics this week, and I even managed to get all three. So let's look at the two first issues I picked up.

Black Knight #1, by Si Spurrier (writer), Sergio Davila (penciler), Sean Parsons (inker), Arif Prianto (colorist), Cory Petit (letterer) - Huh, the little wings on his gloves actually project out from them.

Spurrier's big retcon to Dane Whitman and the Ebony Blade during King in Black was that it isn't the blade that taints Dane, it's that the blade actually is powered by all the ugly emotions inside the person wielding it. If you're too nice or good or whatever, you won't be able to draw on its full power, and possibly can't even pick it up. Thor, for example, can't pull it out of the ground at one point in this issue, which, I dunno. Thor's been pretty full of violence and ego over the centuries. He's no Boy Scout.

Dane is trying to decide what to do about this. Can he be a hero, if he's only useful when he embraces the Dark Side? Is spending time worrying about this of any use? The Avengers are presented as barely tolerating him (I mean, Captain America refers to him as their 'W.M.D.', which is just bizarre when Thor and Carol Danvers are standing right there). He's contacted some history student to try and help him dig into the history of the blade, but thinks maybe that's pointless, too.

Then he gets his head cut off. It's not a permanent thing, though.

 

I feel like Spurrier's going too far afield with the character, but the only two times I've really read much of Dane Whitman were the Stern/Buscema Avengers, and that '90s Heroes for Hire series Ostrander wrote. So it's been a while. And I guess being leader of the Avengers during one of their least fondly remembered eras could do things to a person's self-confidence.

I don't really like Dane having the cape with the fur-lining trim. Looks like it would be heavy and in the way. But hell, he's already wearing a suit of armor, how much more weighed down can he get? The changes to the armor when he lets himself go are kind of cool. More jagged, more points and spikes. He's going to use his trauma in an entirely unhealthy way, and the armor's going to reflect that by becoming more aggressive looking.

Other than that, I like that when we see Dane's bedroom, he's seemingly taken a swipe at every item in there with the sword at some point. Walls, doors, couches. Also there's a mannequin that's either Sir Percy of Scandia or Forbush man holding a broom against one wall. No slashes in it, interestingly enough.

Midnight Western Theatre #1, by Louis Southard (writer), David Hahn (artist), Ryan Cody (colorist), Buddy Beaudoin (letterer) - It would seem, if you're sunlight sensitive enough to need an umbrella, that you should keep your giant bat wings in the shadows.

A gang led by a goon named Red Tom kills everyone in town, children included. The bartender gets to live, though. Then in walk the pair on the cover, although the guy is significantly less imposing since he's whining about being thirsty and how they always do what she wants to do. Tom ultimately shoots the guy (Alexander) in the head. Then the lady (Ortensia), stabs him in the hand and lights the bar on fire. Not because he shot Alex - who is fine, if annoyed - but because of all the other murdering. Alex gets his drink, Red Tom gets shot, and they're on their way.

Southard doesn't waste much time getting down to it. The first two pages are set 20 years earlier, Ortensia somewhere out west with her father, and then it's onto cold-blooded children murdering (off-panel, for the record). And by the end of the issue, the threat of Mad Tom's gang is dealt with, but we get the opportunity to see a bit of Alexander and Ortensia's personalities and relationship, which raises plenty of questions. Why are they traveling together? What's Alex' need to get to the coast? Where'd Ortensia get that horse? What's the significance of the white owl that watched the kids get killed (assuming there is one)?

But I like the two main characters well enough. They play off each other, and I want to learn more about them, so that has to be considered a plus.

 

It's funny how much less dangerous Alexander looks inside the comic versus the cover. Even when Hahn draws him with his wings out near the end of the issue, most of the time he's unimpressive. A little short than Red Tom, skinny and kind of socially awkward. The way Beaudoin letters his dialogue makes it seem like he talks in a constant whisper (although the font size, combined with the white letters against a black speech bubble is kinda hard to read.) He's like either a sheltered child, or an absent-minded museum director. The sort of guy who gets punched in the face, and loudly wonders why you punched him in the face.

Now Ortensia looks fairly cool either way. The bowler hat (or is it too short for a bowler? A derby?), the vest, the white streak in the hair, a couple of facial scares. Hahn makes those more prominent than Andrasofszky does on the cover, but then Hahn makes the white stripes on her pants much narrower than they are on the cover. I think I prefer the light and dark being equivalent, but it might be more symbolic that there's only a bit of white here and there.

The next issue's supposed to be out in June, according to the back of this comic. Hopefully the solicits for June back that up when I get to actually see them.