Saturday, February 07, 2026

Saturday Splash Page #215

"Roadkilled," in Resurrection Man #8, by Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning (writers), Butch Guice (artist), Carla Feeny (colorist), Ken Lopez (letterer)

Mitch Shelly has been homeless and wandering for a while. He doesn't know much about himself, not even that his last name is "Shelly." One day, during a drive-by, he learns he can fly. And gets shot. Sees flashes of a life that might have been his, then dies.

And then he's alive again, with a different superpower. He doesn't know the "why," isn't even entirely sure about the "who." But he's got a few leads to start chasing.

Except there are also lots of people chasing him. People who intended for Mitch to stay dead. People certain he was never dead to begin with. People interested in why he doesn't stay dead. People who think they know why, because they think they know who he really is.

In that sense, Resurrection Man's 27-issue run (plus a DC One Million tie-in issue) is one big continuum of chases and pursuits. Mitch pursuing answers about himself. Insurance investigator Kim Rebecki pursuing Mitch, who she suspects of faking his death. The bounty hunting pin-up model duo Body Doubles pursuing Mitch for their employer. A walking corpse that consumes parts of people to keep going and will not shut up, that wants what Mitch's got. The Forgotten Heroes - a version of them, anyway - show up late in the series wanting Mitch's help dealing with Vandal Savage.

Some of it works better than others. While it makes perfect sense Mitch would want to learn who he was and try to regain what he'd lost, it never interested me much. Abnett and Lanning have Mitch's past involve being a scummy lawyer, but by the time we figure that out, we've seen him die multiple times protecting innocent people. Unless you're going to really delve into what makes a person who they are in terms of why Mitch changed before and after his first death (or you're going to tease him reverting over time), the guy he was before doesn't make much difference.

I was more interested in the deal with his powers, even if I had no idea who this "Immortal Man" was the Forgotten Heroes and Phantom Stranger each assumed him to be. Especially the cat-and-mouse game with the Body Doubles, where Mitch sometimes had the upper hand, but sometimes got caught flat-footed or unprepared. He's running a lot early, but as he gets a better handle on his powers (and lands a potent power thanks to some help from a two-issue guest appearance by Hitman, who Abnett and Lanning do an excellent job using in a tone that matches Ennis'), he can turn the tables.

Guice drew the entire series (minus a couple of fill-ins.) There's a strong Joe Kubert influence to his work in the scratchy lines and Mitch's wiry frame and ragged look. Even when Mitch tries shaving and trimming his hair, he still looks like a guy who's been living rough for a while and shows it. It gives Mitch an everyday appearance, rather than that of some costumed hero. Mitch will act to saves lives he sees in danger, but most of the time he's focused on own problems. He eventually recognizes there's a greater threat to be confronted, but initially agrees to work with the Forgotten Heroes because Vandal Savage was involved in the experiments Mitch was subjected to.

(In DC One Million, Mitch has embraced being a hero, as something like the senior tactician of that time's Justice League, what with all the experience he's got. Guice draws him in a more superheroic outfit, and gives him a more bulked-up physique, reflecting the change in perspective.)

Mitch survives the big conflict at the end of his series, but doesn't seem inclined to embrace being a hero. Instead he returns to his home town and Kim Rebecki, since the two had started something of a relationship amid all the different people killing Mitch. Which might be why nobody much used him after the series ended, although he seems like the Hero Dial in that he would be an opportunity to play around with weird powers.

Abnett and Lanning took another crack at the character in the initial New 52. Of the 3 books I tried at the start, it was the one that held out the longest, until it was canceled around 10 months in. But I was probably buying it from inertia as much as anything. They again spent more time digging into Mitch's past than I would have liked. I wasn't exactly disappointed when the book ended.

Friday, February 06, 2026

What I Bought 2/5/2026

I spent 4 days last week looking after Alex's cat. I took his advice and set his TV to some Youtube "cat tv" station full of birds and squirrels when I had to leave for a while, but the cat seemed equally interested in the NBA player podcasts I'd watch sometimes.

Batgirl #16, by Tate Brombal (writer), Takeshi Miyazawa (artist), Juan Castro (inker), Mike Spicer (colorist), Tom Napolitano (letterer) - Does Batgirl think she's learned to cut fire? Maybe.

Let's wrap this war up. Nyssa was unconcerned that the Unburied were infiltrating Samsara, because she wants them there to kill via machine gun towers, under the logic that the blue poppies grew from the corpses of the Unburied's ancestors, so that will definitely happen a second time if she can produce the corpses. And the Unburied wrecked her Lazarus Pit, so she's trying to avoid death.

Jaya takes out the towers, and apparently is not on Nyssa or the Unburied's side, but some third motive. Oy. Batgirl seems busier fighting her ghosts than anything else, but pulls it together enough to choose against vengeance. Rather than fight Kalden to the death for killing Shiva, she figures out the pressure point thing Jaya uses to make Nyssa able to feel stuff again. Which leaves Nyssa unable to continue fighting. And Batgirl freed Tenji, who was chained up for. . . reasons.

Was Nyssa thinking he'd work as bait for the Unburied? Was it supposed to distract Batgirl, or make her fight harder against the Unburied? I have absolutely no idea what Nyssa's end goal was there.

But Batgirl chose against vengeance, the Unburied get their home back, so I'm sure they'll just be all peace and love now, and definitely won't opt to hunt down Nyssa and anyone they think might strike against them. And Batgirl is maybe returning to Gotham with her half-brother and Jaya.

I assume Batgirl's able to use Jaya's pressure point stuff to heal Nyssa - though it's not like it does anything for her aging and dying problem - because she chose freeing Tenji over attacking Kalden, and this represents healing her past emotional wounds. It doesn't really feel like that significant of a choice - Cassandra Cain has chosen saving someone over beating someone else up plenty of times - and it also doesn't feel like it would resolve any of her issues with her mother, but here we are. 

Nova: Centurion #4, by Jed MacKay (writer), Matteo Della Fonte (artist), Mattia Iacono (color artist), Cory Petit (letterer) - OK, I understand Nova's presence, and the former Nova turned wannabe Han Solo behind him. What's with the two red circles? Are they suns?

Nova's trying to get a recharge, but the technician is giving him a lot of static about how disrespectful it is for an Earther to be wearing a Nova Corps uniform, now that the Corps is gone. So, did the Corps get rebuilt and then destroyed again some time between the end of Thanos Imperative and now? I generally understood Rich was still the only Nova all throughout the Krakoa era, so how has word of that still not gotten around?

But he gets his recharge, and his being able to handle that much juice convinces the guy he really is a Nova. Meanwhile, some doofus named Eden Rixlo steals Nova's ship while Rich is buying groceries. What a fucking terrible name, what idiot came up with "Eden Rixlo"? Really? Gerry Duggan? I would have put money this guy was created by Jeph Loeb in his Sam Alexander Nova book. Good thing I don't gamble.

Cammi and Aalbort are on-board at the time of the theft, which is weird since Eden was apparently eyeing the ship the same time Nova was trying to get his recharge, which Cammi and the combat accountant were present for. Why wait? He could steal the ship, but not break in? Either way, there presence means this is a bad idea even if Nova didn't manage to get right on Rixlo's tail, including using the mines Rixlo drops as speed boosts (which was very cool) all the way to his destination.

But Nova did stay on his tail, and Cammi and Aalbort are in position to slit Eden's throat, as they arrive at some space station where Star-Lord is waiting. At least, the guy introduces himself as Star-Lord. 

Between the dumb hair and dumber mustache, and the stupid outfit that has what looks like backpack straps growing from the shoulders, it looks more like, I dunno, Andy Richter playing a cruise line captain. And he'd speak in some goofy accent. Something Scandinavian by way of Swedish Chef, maybe. At least the shoulder straps should make it easy for Nova to throw the Cruise-Lord into the airless vacuum.

Thursday, February 05, 2026

Parental Supervision Declined

In Loco Parentis, you play as a young woman who's just moved into a new apartment. An apartment smaller than any of my dorm rooms. I don't think the room is even wide enough to have a bed, and lengthwise, all the wall space is taken up by desks and cabinets. If she's paying more than $100 a month for this play, she's being robbed. The hallways are dark, there's garbage bags and boards and desks and old refrigerators just sitting in the halls or on the landings between floors.

Oh, and there's a little girl that's calls for help as she's dragged into an apartment by an old woman. An old woman indifferent to the revolver you find to try and threaten her into releasing the kid. Which, to be fair, could simply be her being so old death holds no terror for her.

But there are also the spirits, or whatever you'd call them. Floating, translucent things with squid mouth that will float towards you if they see you. You can push them back with the flashlight you find, provided you don't run out of batteries, and bullets do disperse them. But you need the bullets for the old woman, too, and they're scarce.

If you dispatch the "crone", you then have to deal with the handyman, who the little girl also doesn't like. He made too much noise while she was trying to watch TV. I didn't get far in this game, but it seems pretty clear helping this kid is a bad idea. Which means I don't feel bad I didn't get very far in the game.

As far as I got, the levels seem to boil down to simple tasks. First, destroy or remove something the person cared about. You have to run between different floors - up or down doesn't seem to matter - chucking tools down the garbage chute or whatever. Then shoot something else. The shooting has to be completed within a certain amount of time, or you die. Which was where I got stuck, because I only had two bullets, which apparently wasn't enough, and couldn't find more before I was killed.

And the game feels very inconsistent about what you're supposed to do. The handyman occupies random objects, which you can tell because you see bugs crawling around them or hear snoring. Don't touch those objects. Until the game changes it's mind and wants you to shoot something. Except sometimes I can see the handyman as an actual person, messing with a floor's circuit breaker, and other times I can't. So am I supposed to shoot him, or the objects?

The controls are obnoxious. You can't readily open doors or drawers if you're carrying something,s o if you want to chuck something down the garbage chute, you have to drop it first, then open the door, then pick it back up. It feels like the cursor has to be in just the right spot for you have the option to interaction with something. The game relies a lot on jump scares, where you turn around and someone's swinging at hatchet at you, then they disappear.

Some games, if I get stymied, I'll go online to figure out what I'm doing wrong. Loco Parentis isn't worth the time that would waste.

Tuesday, February 03, 2026

Track of the Cat (1954)

A cattle ranch comes under attack by a mountain lion during a blizzard. While two of the brothers, Curt and Arthur (Robert Mitchum and William Hopper) head out to hunt it, the remainder of the family stews in their various issues in the house. The matriarch (Belulah Bondi) is a severe, gloomy woman, always talking about God or accusing people of blaspheming or immorality. The father is a loud, useless drunk. The youngest son (Tab Hunter) is a spineless milksop, unwilling or unable to speak up about what he wants, including his love for Gwen (Diana Lynn.)

(There's also an ancient-looking Native American who works there, that Curt abuses of course, who is supposed to be scared of the "black panther." But at the end, he says the black panther is the "whole world", whatever that means. It's the things inside yourself that you can't face? The most interesting thing is he was played by the guy who played Alfalfa on The Little Rascals.) 

Arthur dies to the cat fairly early, and Curt sends the body back on the horse and continues on, confident he'll find and kill the cat soon. But the blizzard only gets worse, and Curt either runs out of food (because he was confident enough he'd handle this he didn't pack much) or he lost the food at some point. At which time, he breaks. 

The movie poster describes it as a love story of  'real, raw, runaway emotions,' which is a load of tripe. The closest thing to a love story would be between Lynn and Hunter, and their emotions never get out of control, because Hunter is basically a lump. That's the whole dynamic between them, Hunter refusing to man up and do anything to seize control of his life.

Arthur is the one who tries to make their mother back off, who tells Curt to let their little brother have part of the herd to start his own ranch with Gwen. Hunter can't muster the nerve ask Gwen to marry him when Curt taunts him about it, or stand up to his mother when she insults Gwen. Hunter's sister-in-law (played by Teresa Wright) at one point implores him to take Gwen and just leave, get out of this miserable place, but he won't do that, either. He always bows to his mother's wishes. Except when it comes to keeping his dad away from the whiskey. It wouldn't be hard to take away these bottles that are apparently stashed everywhere, but he doesn't do that, either.

Hunter is ultimately the one who kills the panther, which is supposed to symbolize his becoming the man on the ranch, since Curt ran himself off a ravine in a panic. It would have worked better if we'd seen him actually stand up for himself sometime earlier. Like finally asserting himself gives him the wherewithal to confront the animal. But the kill is anticlimactic, as the cat snarls from a stand of trees, Hunter marches in, there are a couple of gunshots and that's it.

As far as Curt, Mitchum plays a very good sneering "big" man, but the break in his demeanor is too abrupt. The point is Arthur was right when he said that if Curt were given total control of the ranch, he'd run everyone off and be left with no one, and that inside, Curt can't stand that idea. He doesn't want to show what he perceives as weakness, but once he's alone, with no one to bully or place himself above, he crumbles. But it happens so fast, and gets him killed so fast (in terms of how much time the movie spends on him), it lacks dramatic impact.

Since Arthur dies because he forgets to chamber a round in his rifle, and we see Hunter resolutely do just that before marching into the trees, I guess he's supposed to be a combination of Curt's strength and Arthur's compassion, but the movie doesn't establish that properly

I kept hoping it would take a horror turn, have the panther double-back and start picking off people in the house. Kill the old lady, kill the drunk, and everything would have been a lot better. Failing that, since Hunter never lives up to his promise to take Gwen back to her home, have Gwen and the sister-in-law leave together. In the early part of the movie, when everyone is showing no particular urgency in getting outside and hunting the big cat killing their cattle, we hear the two girls laughing together in their room, so they get along, at least.

A miserable viewing experience from start-to-finish.

Monday, February 02, 2026

A Rough Launch Cycle

I wonder how many times someone in the Marvel Universe has said that?

"Change of Decay" is the second tpb for All-New X-Factor. We looked at the first just before Christmas. The cast roster of Polaris, Gambit, Quicksilver, Danger, Cypher, and Warlock now in the same place - if not all on the same page - Peter David (writer), Carmine Di Giandomenico (artist), Lee Loughridge (color artist), and Cory Petit (letterer) can get down to the brass tacks of what a corporation's superhero team actually does.

As far as these 6 issues, the answer would appear to be, "create messes for their CEO boss to clean up." David introduces a new character, Georgia Dakei, whose father owns several newspapers and a conservative news network, and is extremely anti-mutant. Georgia is essentially confined to their (very large, very well-defended) house, and got in trouble for live-streaming against Dad's wishes. Cypher watched the video and, because the girl talked wistfully about being able to get out of her house and see the world, convinces the rest of the team (not that Pietro or Gambit require much convincing) they should kidnap, I mean rescue, Georgia.

Except by the time they get there, Georgia's over it. Dad was just being dramatic having his goon shoot her computer, and he already replaced it. Doug steamrolls right over that, and it turns out Georgia has some power over water, in that she desiccates Doug's body in seconds. Harrison Snow has to sort a situation that devolves to the point of Polaris threatening to kill a lot of cops with their own weapons, and convinces Dakei - somehow - to send Georgia off with X-Factor.

At which point it turns out Dakei wasn't her biological parent. And while her mother was a frightened young woman who gave her up for adoption as a baby, her father is a supervillain. A new one, Memento Mori, who has a costume (and, with the way either Di Goandomenico or Loughridge shades things, sometimes muttonchop sideburns) but also legitimate businesses. Like a mall, because it means lots of civilians around to act as potential human shields against superheroes. Except it turns out, that isn't as it seems, either, and there's a possibility Georgia loses both parents as fast as she finds them.

It's a weird choice, bring in Georgia and all these elements around her, then wipe most of said elements off the board immediately. Maybe David felt he had to have some big punch up fight, though I'm not sure fights are Di Giandomenico's strong suit. They often boil down to, "panel of one character posing dramatically, followed by panel of different character gesturing." 

Action? Di Giandomenico can do that. There's a nice sequence of Mori's goons first chasing Georgia on Segways, then chasing Georgia and Doug using Warlock as a motorcycle on hover sleds (the sleds remind me a bit of the Public Eye flying cycles in Spider-Man 2099, but that may just be convergent design between Leonardi and Di Giandomenico.) The panels of Quicksilver running convey a sense of speed and fluidity. But fights often lack flow or connection between what's happening in given panels.

The focus remains on interpersonal relationships and everybody's problems. Lorna's moods still seem to swing wildly, which may be the stress of trying to listen to her team's viewpoints, while still being a strong leader who follows her own instincts, but also is a good employee. Gambit can't keep it in his pants. Warlock's trying to flirt, badly, with Danger. Pietro decides to stick around even after Havok says he doesn't need to act as mole for the Avengers. He gets the most personal growth, since he cops to the crap he pulled with the Terrigen Mists, and admits he lied when he blamed it on a Skrull. All during the team's introductory press conference which caps this tpb.

It's still hard to see why most of these characters are here. Lorna probably believes she can do some good, and Pietro seems to want to support his sister. Warlock seems to be hanging around for Doug and Danger, not necessarily in that order. But Doug is pissed off most of the volume - especially because Georgia is friendly towards Gambit and Quicksilver, but cold towards Doug, who pushed for them to rescue her in the first place - so I'm not sure why he doesn't just return to his plan to chuck himself off a cliff to avoid the villain turn he was worried about in volume 1.

Gambit doesn't think the team cares about him, and expects it'll end up like most teams, worried about mandates and punching villains instead of helping people. He's still going to bars to get soused and flirt with women like he was when the series began, so clearly the job is not personally fulfilling. I have no idea what Danger is getting out of all this, other than maybe she finds everyone else's behavior interesting to observe.

Sunday, February 01, 2026

Sunday Splash Page #412

"Skyrocket's in Fight," in The Power Company #10, by Kurt Busiek (writer), Tom Grummett (penciler), Prentis Rollins (inker), Wildstorm FX (colorists), Comicraft (letterer)

Power Company was a bit Heroes for Hire, but with more focus on the business side of superheroics for hire. The economics of it, the boardroom politics that cause friction, how other heroes might react to this, especially given the number of really sketchy companies in the DCU, stuff like that.

Co-creators Kurt Busiek and Tom Grummett put together a team of almost entirely new characters. They did use Bork from the Brave and the Bold story, "But Bork Can Hurt YOU!", and a clone of the Paul Kirk Manhunter that chose not to die fighting the "good" one. Otherwise, I think everybody was new, even if some of their origins involved established characters. Homeless runaway Sapphire happened to swipe a weird gem that was prized by Kobra (as seen in Random Back Issues #29), and the head of the company, Josiah Power, was an attorney who had his career ruined when that metagene bomb from Invasion! activated superpowers.

(There were a series of one-shots introducing each of the characters, each with a different artist, but I'm not going through all those.)

The set-up is half the cast - Bork, Sapphire, teched-up former stuntman Striker Z - are "associates", which seems to translate roughly to employees, the others - Josiah, Manhunter, pop star/sorceress Witchfire, and Skyrocket up there - are partners, who bought shares in the company and therefore get more of a say in how it's run, clients they accept, things like that. Manhunter is a merc, looking to diversify his holdings. Witchfire thought it'd be good for her public profile. Skyrocket's the only real hero of the bunch, but helping people because it's, "the right thing" don't keep the balance sheet in the black.

It's still, in some ways, a traditional superhero team book. Grummett's art runs to that style. Clean lines, smooth art. The colors are bright, the action is big. Other than Josiah - who mostly wears a suit - and Bork - who rocks jeans and a tank top - everybody has very "superhero" looks. And Busiek's writes to have subplots for most every character, which can be shifted from the background to the focus at any moment. There's a lot going on in the casts' individual lives, and in their relationships with each other. Manhunter and Witchfire against Skyrocket, Josiah trying to keep everyone going the same direction because he does believe there's value in this. Bork and Sapphire as sort of a mutual support group, the homeless teenager and the mutated ex-con. Skyrocket trying to make friends (or allies?) of the associates. Manhunter's past coming after him.

Unfortunately, the book ended after 18 issues, so a lot of things were never resolved. Bork felt a little bad about trashing some armed robbers he used to know from his criminal days, and worried about backsliding. Sapphire was probably going to be targeted by Kobra eventually. Witchfire learned something about herself that was never explained or delved into in any particular way. Josiah spends the about 8 issues in a coma, coming out of it just in time to help rescue the group from another dimension. His sidelining does allow more friction and backstabbing between the other 3 partners, letting them make moves they might not otherwise, but he felt like he was going to be a more central character, so the extended absence is notable.

(Busiek and Grummett don't really get to anything with Striker Z, unless we count the story where he and Manhunter run into trouble on what was supposed to be a publicity stunt, and Striker learns not to make assumptions about how easy or hard a job is going to be. He was present when Witchfire learned that thing about herself, so I wonder if there'd have been something there. She's a big star, with the ego to match, he's a stuntman, one of the guys who makes big stars look good.) 

While Busiek and Grummett introduce some new threats - at least, I think Dr. Cyber and the Dragoneer were new - they don't mind using what's already available. Third-rate super-powered goon squad The Cadre are hitting a lot of scientific research facilities and companies, which Skyrocket is trying to figure out how to protect when they won't sign contracts hiring the company to do it (because her sales pitch needs work), and Manhunter and Witchfire veto her using company resources for pro bono work. Dr. Polaris shows up as the man behind the Cadre, amped to new levels of power thanks to an alien (a Controller? I don't know DC aliens) he'd taken prisoner. 

(Coincidental, but Nicieza did something vaguely similar with Graviton in Thunderbolts around this time, ramping up the villain to new levels, taking all the other heroes out of play except for the book's cast. Except Graviton was being used by the alien, rather than using it. Which just proves he's more of a goober than Dr. Polaris, I guess.)

They can't have other heroes popping up all the time, but there are a few. Green Arrow, as much an antagonist as anything. Issue #15, drawn by Gary Chaloner (the only issue Grummett doesn't pencil), has Batman hounding Manhunter across Gotham. Firestorm pops in for a few issues, needing gainful employment. I read somewhere years ago, can't verify the accuracy, there was a poll about who the fans wanted to have join the book, and the Haunted Tank won. But it ended up as some experimental hover tank, piloted by Jeb Stuart's granddaughter and haunted by Jeb. Not sure that's what folks were looking for.

The book did not end with the company closing its doors, but other than Josiah Power appearing in a reboot of the Power Company last year, I'm not sure any of the others have shown up anywhere since. Which at least means they weren't fed into the Event Woodchipper by Johns, Meltzer, or some other writer. It's too bad. I tracked it down in back issues several years ago, and wish it would have gone longer. At least to see how some of those other threads played out.

Saturday, January 31, 2026

Saturday Splash Page #214

"Delusions of Grandeur," in Revenge of the Living Monolith, by David Michelinie (writer), Marc Silvestri (penciler), Geof Isherwood (inker), Bob Sharen (colorist), Joe Rosen (letterer)

Real talk, I don't know if Sharen and Rosen were colorist and letterer for this specific page, but the credits list 9 different colorists and 5 letterers (plus 6 people credited with 'additional background inks'), with no breakdown of who did what. I'm not listing all that. Sharen and Rosen are listed first, so it seems a safe bet they handled the very first page.

Anyway, part of the same Marvel Graphic Novel series as Starlin's Death of Captain Marvel, or The Aladdin Effect, Revenge of the Living Monolith apparently came out because Jim Owsley wanted to do something like a '50s, giant monster movie. He and Michelinie hammered out this plot about Ahmet Abdol, the old X-Men foe The Living Pharaoh, regaining access to the cosmic rays that make him the Living Monolith and rampaging through New York.

(Although he gets the cosmic rays by trapping three-quarters of the FF, because they constantly absorb cosmic radiation, so he has machines draw it off and feed it to him. Which is not a way I've ever heard the FF's powers described. I thought they got hit once and that was it. If they still absorb cosmic rays constantly while on Earth, why can't Abdol?) 

The conflict is basically an outer expression of all the crap in Abdol's heart, where he's always been convinced he was descended from royalty or divinity, then got pissy when people didn't bow and scrape and kiss his ass. Which causes him to lash out, then blame everyone else for it, that people are awful and so they deserve it. This is not a guy I'm inclined to pity. One of his prison guards is an old childhood bully. When Abdol escapes, he brings the bully along, essentially to go, "neener-neener, bet you feel stupid for doubting me now." The bully is unimpressed, and later goads Abdol in killing his own daughter, though we never see Hassan after that scene. No idea what happened to him.

(Abdol's daughter chose to be the one who sets the trap for the FF, but finds herself cornered when it turns out you can't break a window in the Baxter Building just by chucking a chair at it. It's almost funny, except, you know, the part where Abdol allows his own fear of betrayal or looking weak to make him him remote-electrocute his own kid. But he won't just kill Hassan to shut the guy up.)

The three heroes opposing the Monolith end up being She-Hulk, Captain America, and Spider-Man. She-Hulk was excluded from Abdol's trap because her power isn't cosmic ray based, and she calls Cap. Since the other Avengers are on the West Coast, he uses a computer program to pull up someone with a science background to help, and gets Spidey. The way it's framed feels less like Cap searched a database for an answer, and more like he typed requirements and the computer just spat a random name at him.

And Spidey ends up feeling useless against the Monolith (who somehow travels to NYC in a Concorde, despite being ginormous enough his head looks taller than the jet, let alone the rest of him), leaving most of the fighting to Cap and Shulkie. Spider-Man does free the FF, but by then the Monolith is so large he's again able to absorb the rays on his own. Freeing the FF isn't crucial to finding a solution to the issue of the Monolith, so Spider-Man is basically irrelevant. They could have picked Hank Pym, or Curt Conners, or any comic book scientist and it would have made about as much difference.