Sunday Splash Page #444

"No Pleasure Cruise," in Babs #4, by Garth Ennis (writer), Jacen Burrows (artist), Andy Troy (colorist), Rob Steen (letterer)

A 6-issue mini-series about a barbarian (former?) princess roaming a medieval fantasy realm, albeit filtered through Garth Ennis' particular sensibilities. Meaning profanity, graphic violence rendered by Burrows and Troy, and juvenile humor. Like Babs being introduced riding through a forest, grumbling and cursing, and it turns out to be because a chainmail top really chafes one's tits.

Babs has a magic sword, Barry, whose only special ability is he can talk. Oh, and his guard can act as little hands, though he doesn't do much with them besides gesticulate wildly and flip people off. Usually Babs, who grumbles about his uselessness, but doesn't get rid of him.

Her history, to the extent we can trust the accounts gathered by the geeks she beat the crap out of one night in the tavern, is of winning great wealth through some feat of killing or theft, only to lose said wealth in some idiotic way. Steal a necro-ruby by kicking the witch that held it into her own acid pit, gamble it away the next day. Make a fortune killing some troll king, lose it all on ill-advised real estate ventures. Based on what we see here, I have to question the geeks' research, because this Babs doesn't seem like she can plan or successfully pull off much of anything. She mostly just wings it. Maybe that's why she keeps losing her money.

Her friend Izzy's not much better off, as we see her steal an overweight dragon's hoard, only to have to pay it all in damages to a group of leprechauns (called something I'm not typing here) she plowed through with her chariot during the escape. Lots of blood, lots of little, green-clad limbs flying here and there. There's also Colin Culpepper, a useless goober of a knight that goes on (and on, and on) about purity and how he will protect any fair maiden. He also got knocked out by a bunch of orcs, one of whom took a dump in his helmet (because Garth Ennis), and the "holy flame" of his magic sword is just lamp oil.

To the extent there's a plot beyond Babs roaming about and getting in the middle of stuff, a guy in gleaming white armor called Tiberius Toledo and his knights of 'unblemished virtue', are convincing all the humans they'll be a lot better off once all these other races - dwarves, hobbits, etc., - are gotten rid of. And Tiberius will take care of that. He'll also take most of the townspeople's stuff while he's at it.

Despite half their group consisting of an orc, a goblin, and a troll, the geeks decide to help Tiberius. By providing the information they've spent their lives compiling, ranking (via a 10-point system for different attributes!) and arguing about. Very subtle, Ennis. Should I assume they'll soon have an Official Handbook of the Babs-verse, or a Who's Who? in the Babs-verse?

The geeks are led by Mork the Orc, a pencil-necked, spiteful loser who wants things to go back to how they used to be, when guys were always in charge, and who blames his lot in life on unseen forces keeping him down. Mork is the type insecure enough to buy a dick-enlarging potion (kept in a little blue vial), but too afraid of an ironic outcome to actually use it.

He and his cronies initially object to Babs because they thought she was some other barbarian princess that killed her father and took his clothes and his name. After she kicked all their asses, it was because she was part of the Deep Realm, a mysterious group conspiring to keep dudes like Mork from getting the money and women they're owed. To him, Tiberius will put things right, and get Mork on top where he belongs. That Tiberius doesn't give a shit about him or what he wants is not something Mork is capable of figuring out any time soon.

Again, Ennis not going for subtle. Which is fine, as long as it's funny, and it mostly is. Not laugh out loud - I laughed a lot more at Touched by a Demon - but I at least grin, or utter an amused snort. Burrows treads the line where the violence can be gory, but still exaggerated enough to be funny. Babs stopping in the middle of interrogating a guy by jamming a crossbow bolt up his nose to argue with Barry, who's complaining about being left stuck in the ground like a common shovel.

In the final confrontation with Tiberius, despite her plan not working at all, Babs ultimately wins the battle. I don't think anyone won the war, but definitely not her. Which, I suppose, is why she usually works for hire. Killing assholes for her own revenge, let alone based on some principle, just doesn't pay. Action is not her reward, and half a chicken isn't cutting it either.

There is a second mini-series, which was supposed to finish in June. The penultimate issue doesn't come out until this Wednesday, so who knows when it'll actually conclude. Not sticking to the schedule was an issue for this mini-series as well, but I don't know know the reason. Maybe they should switch to soliciting it as every other month? 

Saturday Splash Page #246

"Bucket List," in Touched by a Demon #4, by Kristen Gudsnuk

Bifrons was an angel who left Heaven alongside Lucifer. Now he's an Earl of Hell, the equivalent of middle management. Stuck making cursed geometry textbooks (redundant) for an unimaginative boss (Mammon), who won't give his idea of taking the broken shards of evil in the souls they break and combining them a proper hearing, because it's too complicated.

So, nerts to all that! Frons, and his assistant Pazuzu, will start their own realm of damnation, with blackjack, and hookers! Actually he decides to slip away to Earth and start a life coaching agency. Frons reasons, if he can help enough souls, perhaps God will forgive him and let him back into Heaven. 

Unfortunately, millennia spent in Hell torturing humans, preceded by however long in Heaven, with no concept of happiness or despair, has left Frons ill-suited to the task of actually helping humans. As Pazuzu puts it at one point, she has no moral opinions. I still don't know if she means she has no opinions that are moral, or that, when it comes to matters of morality, she simply has no opinions, period. Immoral versus amoral, neither is perhaps the best foundation for helping people with their problems.

What's touching is Frons and Zuzu really try. They're not incapable of empathy or concern. Their first client is a 16-year-old girl whose parents regard her as an organ farm to keep her older, terminally ill, sister clinging to life. Nothing Wendy does gains her parents' affection, or even their notice. All that matters is she's available to provide spare parts for a girl who, based on what Gudsnuk shows us in both the present and flashbacks, will never be more than a pale, non-responsive, sickly shell.

Zuzu and Frons agree Wendy's parents are terrible, and it's lousy of them to make her feel like she should want to be sick, because then they might care about her, or to treat her like she's only worth loving as long as she lets them cut out parts of herself. But then Zuzu mentions they should let the sister die. Frons adds that the parents deserve to die, too. Then Wendy could inherit all their money and this big house! Annnnnnnnnnd, Wendy kills her parents and sister that night, damning her soul. Whoops

But now Frons and Zuzu have a new receptionist, who is happy to get room and board working for a couple of demons. Win some, lose some. Mostly lose, to be honest. Their subsequent attempt to help a man be a better husband so he can get his family back ends disastrously, and while their next client seems fulfilled, the tools they give him to accomplish that result in the death and damnation of dozens.

It's an odd mini-series, as it feels like Gudsnuk ended it early. A detective looks into the disappearance of Wendy and her family (whose bodies Frons hid in the graves of people who died 150 years ago), and visits their office the same time Mammon shows up. That's in the last issue, so despite the cop's clear suspicion that something is wrong - Wendy's not very good at lying on the fly - nothing comes of it. Frons strikes up a friendship with a local priest, Father Angelo, who looks into the idea of whether a demon could be redeemed, not realizing he's talking to a fallen angel. It felt like Gudsnuk was leaning towards Frons having a crush on Angelo, but maybe that's just me spending too much time on the Internet.

Despite all the death and damnation, it's a touching story. Frons gathers this peculiar little group around him of people he tried to help, to varying degrees of success. He gave up his lyre to get Pazuzu out of a miserable existence as Beleth's assistant 500 years ago. He offers Wendy a place after she commits triple homicide. Pazuzu may not really care about helping humans in general, but likes Frons as a boss and wants to help him, and forms an instant attachment to Wendy. Wendy, while being understandably anxious about her situation, does her best to help and forms a bond with their other assistant, an influencer who died in prison and whose ghost inhabits a speaker box.

There's a bit of light at the very end, as Frons stops trying to solve his clients' problems with magic, and help them come to a measure of peace with their circumstances. I feel like they tried that with Sergio in issue 2. I guess the difference between that and how they worked with Delilah in issue 4 was, they didn't show Sergio that the work he was doing on himself had value, even if he didn't get what he desired. So, when it didn't work out how he hoped, Sergio saw no value in anything and reacted really badly.

And yet, I also found it hilarious. Zuzu's glee at things like keeping the possessions of bodies they dispose of, alternating with her frustration at yet another human messing things up. The third issue, Frons decides to just give the client a Chimp's Paw, so he can wish for what will make him feel fulfilled. This is a terrible idea, but Pazuzu is stunned when it goes disastrously. (That was another end left dangling, she never got back around to killing Max.) The lies they try to concoct to keep the detective from suspecting anything. That skull-faced person who appeared in a burst of fire was actually an illusionist! A client! In demonic makeup!

I'm probably not supposed to find Sergio's end funny, but something about the sharp turn it takes, the way he turns his love into something destructive, while Frons, Zuzu and Wendy look on in horror, then scramble for damage control, cracks me up. Gudsnuk's art style is tailored towards those broad, exaggerated expressions, so comical dismay or anger is pretty easy.

She often adds words that describe what the person is trying to express, almost like sound effects. Instead of BIFF or POW, you get "inspire" in rainbow colors, or "unmoved" in lowercase, dark black lettering. I'm not sure it's necessary; her art and dialogue are good enough to convey the feeling, but Gudsnuk seems to like it. Maybe she feels it adds impact?

I don't know if she ever intends to return to it, but I'd like to see more. I think there was some tension in whether Frons could actually stick to the formula he found in the final issue, or if he'd surrender to temptation and take the quicker route, or frustration and abandon the project entirely. 

Random Back Issues #175 - Daredevil #260

Daredevil's having a great day! He's over his infatuation with that strumpet Mary Walker, he and Karen Page are very much in love. Why, he might even march in the anti-nuke rally today! What could go wrong?

Spongebob Narrator Voice: Three Minutes Later. . .

Bullet jumps DD as he's crossing the rooftops. He speaks in riddles, saying he's attacking Daredevil because he exists, that his punches are 'kisses from someone who loves him'. Matt contemplates just walking away. The fight has no point, why not just leave? But Bullet's next charge sends him careening off the edge of the roof, into the anti-nuke parade, so now DD feels committed.

The crowd is split on this development. A few insist Daredevil protects the streets. Others counter he's only protection in the way nuclear warheads are a deterrent, that guys like Daredevil and Bullet are really fighting over nothing, just stupid territorial spats. Ann Nocenti is nothing if not blunt.

Anyway, Bullet knocks himself stupid(er) by crashing into one too many walls. Now here's Bushwacker, shirtless, covered in bandages, and shooting at DD with his gun-arm while roaring down the sidewalk on a motorcycle, just as the Founding Fathers intended. Daredevil dives into an alley and climbs a fire escape, determined to get clear of the crowd, but Bushwacker brought a flamethrower along and manages to torch DD's legs as he flips onto the roof. If you shoot a flamethrower straight up, doesn't that make it rain jellied, burning gasoline? Oh well, the fight continues on the rooftop, Daredevil trying to punch out Bushwacker from his knees. He gets clipped by a shot and has to acrobatically flip and leap away.

Straight off a roof and onto a "Nukeman" (looks a little like Superman with a missile cone on his head) balloon. A balloon Bushwacker shoots, causing it to explode and sending the crowd into a panic. Daredevil lands in the middle of this, costume torn and senses are warped. He mistakes a blind, wheelchair bound man with a tin cup for Buschwacker, juggling bullets. A random woman stops Daredevil from beating up a blind man, but can't convince him to visit a hospital.

Because Daredevil is fine, just fine. Staggering down the sidewalk, using buildings to stay upright, muttering to himself while annoying someone by ringing their intercom. Perfectly normal behavior. Then he gets punched in the face by Ammo. Thank goodness for House to Astonish's recap of Daredevil villains, or I'd have to pull out my copy of issue #252 to remember that goober's name. Hadn't forgotten those zebra-striped spandex pants, though.

Matt's got nothing left in the tank, mostly just eating a beating. Meanwhile, the anti-nuke march has met the Fourth of July "God Bless 'Murica" parade and, predictably, violence has begun. I gotta say, for having been disrupted multiple times by Daredevil-related violence, those anti-nuke protestors kept on marching.

The Human Torch flies overhead, sees a guy in a red suit he figures is Daredevil, doesn't note he's getting his ass kicked, and flies off to whatever emergency the FF were dealing with. FYI, this issue came out concurrently with Fantastic Four #320, which was the first half of Spiky-Thing vs. Joe Fixit Hulk (continued in Incredible Hulk #350), so I'm not sure what emergency Johnny's rushing off to. He'll show up a couple of issues from now, trying to help and mostly messing it up.

Meanwhile, Ammo's telling Daredevil this, meaning violence, is Daredevil's life. It's what he is, so why does expect anything different than to be attacked? Meanwhile, the two parades are still fighting, and minus whatever signage they're carrying, you can't tell the sides apart. Ammo makes a final comment about DD having one foot in the grave and another on a banana peel, hits him with a solid right cross that rolls him into the street, and there Daredevil stays as the crowd moves on.

But we're not done yet! This was a super-sized issue, 48 pages of Daredevil getting tenderized. Matt eventually staggers his way into an alley where a hallucination of his father tells him to stand and fight. As Matt shadowboxes himself, he's haunted by visions of other foes: Bullseye, Gladiator, Elektra, Typhoid and Kingpin, all taunting him for his reliance on violence. (I wonder if Elektra's comment Matt seemed to love her more as she grew more violent is accurate.) Then his ghost father berates him for fighting, right before Matt gets sucker-punched by the "Wildboys", a couple of losers he dealt with at Christmas in issue #253.

While one Wildboy brags about how strong a punch he's got, the other complains he didn't get to do anything. So he throws Daredevil through a rotted fence. Then they beat him with the planks. Matt can't do much more than throw handfuls of garbage in their face and sorry, these guys aren't that big a pair of losers. Maybe soapy water would have done the trick. They decide to chuck him off a bridge, despite orders to leave the 'last inch' to the woman who hired them.

At which point Typhoid Mary appears, machete at their throats. Even allowing the Wildboys' legs are bent somewhat at the knees, I think Romita Jr. draws her as taller than them. The losers run, and she hauls Daredevil up by one arm. He asks her to save him, she asks if he loves her, wants her. Matt denies it. He doesn't, not even to save his life. Give it a few issues, Matt. As he's done all day, he asks why she's doing this. She doesn't even know him.

And he falls, and she cries. Soon, he'll be getting strangled by a demonically-possessed vacuum cleaner, taking a flamethrower to his entire life and fleeing the city like Napoleon fled Russia (see Random Back Issues #51 and #104.) This run is so bonkers, I love it.

{3rd longbox, 80th comic. Daredevil #260, by Ann Nocenti (writer), John Romita Jr. (penciler), Al Williamson (inker), Max Scheele (colorist), Joe Rosen (letterer)}

Bunker Busting

Of all the anime from my rewatch project this year, Gundam Wing is the one I reassessed the most. I liked it before, but it hits differently now. I get more from the stuff that's not giant mechs destroying other giant mechs. I may post about some of that later, depending on how Thursdays play out this fall. 

For today, I'm just going to talk about the bunker scene at the end of Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz. Here's the clip the times listed below are referencing. Discussion points, in chronological order:

~00:33 into the clip - Back when I was doing Burn Notice episode rundowns, I talked about my annoyance with characters who use the, "Go ahead and shoot me, then," bluff, usually as proof they are not a snitch/cop/spy, and how it never seems to backfire, no matter how unstable the person they're daring is.

(I've been thinking about if Takagi's death in Die Hard qualifies as a time it backfire. I think that requires assuming he was lying to Hans Gruber about not having the password they wanted. I feel, near the end, there's enough desperation in his attempts to convince Hans that he wasn't lying, but your mileage may vary.)

Anyway, here we see Mariemaia Khusrenada learning that Heero Yuy is not the person to run that bluff on. I mean, he was clearly going to shoot anyway, but I love how there is no hesitation. The moment she dares him, it's 'Roger that,' and BOOM!

~00:53: The thing the rewatch made me re-evaluate most was Relena. When I was younger and fixated on the pilots wrecking shit, she seemed like she was in the way. That it was everyone else accomplishing things. I didn't appreciate how much she grew through the series, how much responsibility she shouldered in the wake of her father's death and learning of her heritage. She survives assassination attempts, leads a country, accepts what is intended as a figurehead position as "Queen Relena", then pulls off a bloodless revolution through empathy, idealism and force of personality. She grapples with the gap between her ideals and reality, and what can be accomplished, but never loses her resolve to bring those ideals to life and create a future different from pretty much the entirety of human history prior to that.

(Note that, for all his charisma and "the man on a horse" ego, Treize Khusrenada never tried to directly oppose Relena the way he did the Romefeller Foundation. He waits until Zechs makes his idiotic, "Earth is the problem," declaration and uses everyone's fear to seize control. He knew in a straight up confrontation with her, he'd lose.)

Most of all, she doesn't blink. She's surprised the first time Heero pulls a gun on her, but I wouldn't say she's scared. She certainly isn't afraid to shield him from Duo moments later. After that, after her father's assassination, Relena refuses to sacrifice what she believes in for her own life. (She surrenders the Sanc Kingdom so people won't die for her, which is not the same thing.)

And so you get Mariemaia, trying to puff herself up after Heero's first shot (probably the first time anyone has directly threatened her), only for Relena to see right through it. The deadpan delivery of, 'Are you afraid, Mariemaia?' is perfect. It's not really a question. She knows the kid is afraid. Everyone in that bunker is afraid, except Relena. All the guys in the magenta shirts and armbands are soldiers that, through luck or skill, survived the events of Gundam Wing. You figure they faced death before, but they weren't ready for this. Which brings us to. . .

~1:31: When I first watched Gundam Wing on Toonami, lo those many years ago, I used to joke about how often Relena and Heero would say each other's name. Often in a soft murmur, and often it was the only thing they might say at that moment. You could make a drinking game out of it. 'Heero. . .' Take a shot. But in this case, it's once again Mariemaia's reaction that's the selling point.

Relena was always key to Dekim Barton's plan, in much the same way as Mariemaia (who thinks she's running things, but it's Barton actually giving orders.) Mariemaia has the lineage to get the surviving Treize Faction idiots to support Barton's plans. She gets him the muscle he needs. Relena's the one person people on Earth and in space believe in. She'll legitimize his coup, get the people to accept it quietly. And, because she's a pacifist, in Barton's eyes (and Mariemaia's) that means Relena's weak. She'll do what they want.

Except they're wrong. She won't bend to them, anymore than the Gundams - even if all the pilots other than Heero are trying not to kill their opponents - so now her value is as human shield. Just one problem, Heero knows the depth of her conviction in her beliefs. There's a reason he tells her more than once that she's stronger than he is. (In the Blind Target manga, he tells Quatre she's, 'the strongest.') She's willing to die rather than help Barton set himself up as ruler of humanity.

Mariemaia's just now figuring that out. The little gasp and the shocked look, priceless. It's sinking in that, the beloved elader who is supposed to be her bullet shield, the one whose presence is meant to ensure her safety, has a murder/suicide pact with the same Gundam pilot about to blow his own ass up trying to kill them. Don't you hate when that happens?

~1:45: I did make the mistake of reading the comments on that video. I mean, I know better than that from 20 years ago when I'd watch Weird Al's "Smells Like Nirvana" video and the comment thread was just one person being outraged on Kurt Cobain's behalf, and then someone correcting that person by pointing out the Nirvana guys not only agreed about how unintelligible they were, but were thrilled to get parodied, ad nauseam, forever.

But, setting aside the dozens of comments to the effect that telling Heero that Relena's in there only makes him more eager to shoot - yes, that's why he visibly lowers Zero's buster rifle immediately afterward - there was some debate about the location of that last shot. Did he alter his target on the third shot, because of the memory of that little girl? There is the brief shot of his targeting screen where the reticle seems to shift, but it sure as hell looks like the third shot hits the exact same place as the first two. I think it represents him raising the buster rifle again and sighting in on his target.

I think it's more that Heero is being incredibly precise. The little girl with the flower died because Heero miscalculated where he puts some explosives, so a mobile suit got knocked into an apartment building by the blast, killing innocent people. He's not going to make that mistake twice, he shoots where it will tear open the shelter, but the people in the bunker will survive.

I could be wrong. Could be Heero figured he had to stop them, but he'd die in the process when Wing Zero blows up hundreds of feet in the air. From that view, he was killing himself at the same time as penance.

Instead, he survives, climbs down into the bunker, symbolically shoots Mariemaia with an empty gun, which I think is his way of closing the door on that period of his life, going by his 'I'll never kill again,' comment before he collapses. Which isn't in the video I linked to, but is worth mentioning for how it connects to what is.

The Man with One Red Shoe (1985)

A power struggle between the CIA Director Ross (Charles Durning) and his ambitious second-in-command Cooper (Dabney Coleman), leaves concert violinist Richard Drew (Tom Hanks) caught in the middle of a plan to, um. . . I'm not really sure. Ross has 48 hours before he appears before a Senate inquiry, and somehow making Cooper think the "man with one red shoe" has testimony that will clear Ross is going to actually sink Cooper?

Maybe because it'll spur Cooper to deploy CIA assets on U.S. soil, which the CIA can't do, wink wink? It does work, because Cooper charges into the inquiry with a gun chasing Drew in an attempt to kill him before he can testify. Which makes him seem unstable and unsuited for the job, but also seems like a hard outcome to predict.

To be clear, this is not a case of Ross having principles and worrying what Cooper will do if he gets the big chair. Ross likes having the big chair, and doesn't want to give it up. He's fine playing dirty, he's fine having his subordinate pick some guy to be the bait, and he's fine if the bait dies. Probably would even help, in the fantasy world this movie occurs in, where people in the Reagan administration actually faced consequences for immoral acts.

Anyway, Drew is the unwitting witness/bait. So Cooper's attempt to figure out what intel Drew has turns into a comedy (I use the term loosely) of errors occurring around a largely oblivious Tom Hanks. They incapacitate Drew's dentist before an appointment, the agent replacing him planning to yank out all Drew's teeth in a search for concealed microfilm. Only for Drew to lose his nerve when he hears a patient freaking out and bail. One of the agents Ross has surveilling the whole thing had fallen behind and ends up walking into the trap instead.

Skipping the appointment means Drew returns home early, so the team tearing his place apart does a rush job putting it back together. Now the handles on the faucet in the sink control his shower, and the toilet controls the sink, his shampoo is in his toothpaste tube, and his chairs are structurally unsound.

Drew's also carrying on an affair with a flutist (Carrie Fisher) in the symphony. Her percussionist husband (Jim Belushi) becomes increasingly paranoid as the CIA teams grow reckless. But Drew's head gets turned by Maddy (Lori Singer), Cooper's top agent, who is herself charmed when Drew plays a piece of music he's been writing (and which Cooper concludes must contain a code.)

It feels like it ought to be funny, but it mostly didn't work for me. I laughed a lot more at Paint, or even Eephus, which is not a comedy, than this film. There is one poor agent wandering the sewers for hours, because Cooper thinks all the toilet flushing was Drew putting something down the pipes, rather than just trying to use his sink. The way that guy is forgotten, still down there alone in the middle of the night, lost and defeated, while Drew's wooing Maddy with his music, that was sorta funny.

Other than that? Not much. Tom Hanks can do comedy, but the way the movie is structured, he's the center of everything, but very little of it touches him. It's all going on around him without his knowledge. Like, the whole mess with his plumbing is revealed through him trying to use the sink and the shower turning on. There's a chance for some silly physical comedy, Hanks get sprayed or something, and the movie is just like, "Nah." Most of the humor is apparently supposed to be watching these agents tie themselves in knots trying to figure out what Drew is up to.

One bit that works is when he returns home from the aborted trip to the dentist and Maddy is waiting in his living room as a distraction until the team can tranq dart him and then flee. Except it takes 3 darts to put him out (I guess because seeing her in his apartment got him too worked up for the darts to work), with his speech getting increasingly goofy until he topples over.

Belushi plays his usual loud idiot, and I guess we're supposed to laugh he's the butt of jokes because he plays dumb practical jokes on Hanks all the time. Fake peanuts, exploding cigars, I'm sure whoopee cushions are utilized. He's also getting cheated on by his wife with his friend, and then starts finding dead bodies that keep mysteriously vanishing, until he goes nuts. Not before he thinks he's going to be killed by a gunman, mind you. I ended up feeling bad for him.

Fisher feels wasted by the movie, and I didn't see any particular chemistry between Hanks and Singer to carry their romantic subplot. Drew is just panting after a leggy blonde, while Maddy doesn't seem to think of him as anything other than a job until he plays that piece he wrote, which happens pretty late in the proceedings.

Also, Drew rides his bike everywhere, but does so wearing headphones, which is insane. He's entirely cut off his hearing as an aid to keep him alive, and he's biking on roads with cars. So either he's one of the cyclists who expects everyone to give way to them, or he's got a death wish, and I don't think he's got a death wish. 

What I Bought 9/2/2026 - Part 2

I have the day off! But it's still really hot outside! So I'm not going anywhere! Fortunately, we have comics to review! Two of them! I kinda like getting all my DC stuff for the month in one go! Exclamation point!

Batgirl #23, by Tate Brombal (writer), Takeshi Miyazawa (artist), Mike Spicer (colorist), Tom Napolitano (letterer) - The plants would like a turn crouching dramatically.

Batgirl has brought Jaya and Tenji to the restaurant she hung out at sometimes before everything went to hell at the beginning of this volume. Very surprised that family survived the attack by the Unburied, considering Shiva's insistence that anyone Cass got involved would be in danger. Cass herself is lost in thought, maybe about whether being in this toxic city brings out the worst in her.

As Police Commissioner Vandal Savage - that is still one of the dumbest ideas - makes some TV spot advertising a reward if people narc on any of the Bats, the entire city is overrun by strange plants. Plants which will make the city hostile to human life. Cass can't get through to Batman to receive any specific orders, which really frustrates her. But there's a restaurant full of people to protect, and keep calm, and watch out for.

The kid wants that reward to save his sick mother, and Cass was distracted trying to convince people not freak out because she ran outside to save a guy being attacked by the plants and brought him inside, but still. Not a great start for Batgirl on this crisis. And one of the customer's kids sniffed the flowers and now she's poisoned. Cass vows to get the kid to a hospital, despite the stab wound, and trusts Jaya and Tenji to protect everyone else. Which at least will give Tenji that chance he wanted to make a name for himself as a hero.

I like this. It's not (so far) another exercise in unearthing new, never-before-seen secrets of Cassandra's past. The past history is there, and clearly weighing on her, but the immediate threat is something new. Miyazawa is back on the art. He gets a little rougher with his lines in the moments of panic, when plants start bursting through the floor, then smooths things out again in the quiet, tense moments. Batgirl's brief fight to save that man is drawn as quick and efficient, each move in the span of a few panels.

Is this event tie-in going to be my favorite story in this run so far? What a horrifying thought. 

The Deadman #4, by W. Maxwell Prince (writer), Martin Morazzo (artist), Chris O'Halloran (colorist), Good Old Neon (letterer) - Based on the escalator, Heaven is either a mall or an airport. I'm hoping for the former, but only as long as they have a place that sells big, soft, gooey cookies.

Deadman has a bit of a meltdown about what he learned last issue, until Billy snarls at him to shut up, turning demonic in the process. Boston doesn't get any answers as to what that's about, instead heading for Heaven to try and confab with God about the situation. Billy follows.

While Billy gets some distressing news about himself from Zatanna's dad, which I guess explains his weird behavior when he snapped at Deadman, the Custodian of Souls spends most of the issue in God's waiting room, chatting with his secretary. Who is probably actually God, but whatever. The main point is for Deadman to decide that, even if he knew the souls he thought he helped wound up in Hell, he still would have tried to get them sent on to Heaven. Because it's worthwhile to try and help someone, even if it doesn't work.

So he leaves. I note that he didn't gain any insight into the creatures eating souls or who is manipulating them (which is some mysterious figure with either a cube or a book for a head), and therefore seems no closer to dealing with the problem than he was at the end of issue 1. And then he got pushed off the escalator by a panicked Billy, and lands in the clutches of some Cyber-Swamp Thing. Which is kind of a weird shift.

Until the point Deadman - or is he Aliveman now? - lands in that situation, the entire book is 9-panel grids. 18 solid pages of 9-panel grids. Not much change or in perspective or style within the panels. Monotonous. Quite the change from the previous issue, which offered so much variety. It's all the same, all very rigid and constrained. Sterile. The most pizzazz are the panels with Zatara, where's he got a smoke machine and a stage backdrop. A showman. That's two panels. Bleak commentary on Heaven, unless the idea is it gives you the time and space to find answers yourself.

Sunday Splash Page #443

"All Grown Up," in Avengers and Power Pack: Assemble #4, by Marc Sumerak (writer), Gurihiru (artist), Dave Sharpe (letterer)

Similar to some of Sumerak's other Power Pack mini-series, this one starts with what appear to be done-in-one stories, which later connect into a larger narrative. First, the kids team up with Captain America, despite his objections about their age, to stop Taskmaster after he swiped some data from a Stark Industries research lab.

Besides Tasky losing first to a bunch of elementary schoolkids, then senior citizens (WW2 buddies of Captain America, but still, no Infinity Formula for these guys), we also get a scene where he mocks Power Pack not only for being kids, but for their costumes. This while rocking his Udon Studios, "my good costume is at the dry cleaners," look.

Then Katie Power zaps him in the face. Deserved.

Second issue, AIM stole an experimental armor (thanks to the info Taskmaster swiped for them), and Jack gets it in his head that if they recover it, Tony Stark will pay them a big reward. AIM is, surprisingly, prepared for the kids, and in an escape attempt, Jack suits up in the experimental armor. Then accidentally attacks Iron Man with it. They free his siblings and stop AIM, but when Jack asks about a reward for rescuing the armor, Iron Man says they can just deduct it from the cost of the damage Jack did to said armor. 

Which is such a billionaire move. It's pocket change to Stark, but he'd rather come up with an excuse to stiff a kid and disguise your own incompetence.

In the last two issues, the Power family travels to New York City on vacation, and the kids try to help the New Avengers fight Kang and his army of guys in suits based on Iron Man's experimental armor, as he was behind the schemes in the first two issues. I guess this is his idea of fighting honorably, stealing period-appropriate technology to fight with. Minus his own futuristic stuff that freezes his opponents in place. So honorable!

How well known the Power Pack are varies from mini-series to mini-series. Wolverine knows them, but they'd been in at least one, maybe two, other mini-series with him by this point. Captain America apparently vouched for them to Iron Man somewhere between issues 1 and 2. Taskmaster knows them, and says they're a joke among the costumed community. As he's running around in a tracksuit and a skull mask like some doofus with an urban explorer Youtube channel, so glass houses and all that. AIM has heard of them, enough to have weapons prepared to counter their powers.

Kang, however, doesn't know them, dismissing them as innocent children, until they attack him. At which point they're flung into a future where Kang runs things and they must team-up with their older selves. How their older selves are there if they were chucked into the future, I don't know. Obviously they make it back to the mid-2000s, but then the dystopian future never comes to pass, so. . . 

I did a longer review of the mini-series 3 years ago.