The Man with One Red Shoe (1985)

A power struggle between the CIA Director Ross (Charles Durning) and his ambitious second-in-command Cooper (Dabney Coleman), leaves concert violinist Richard Drew (Tom Hanks) caught in the middle of a plan to, um. . . I'm not really sure. Ross has 48 hours before he appears before a Senate inquiry, and somehow making Cooper think the "man with one red shoe" has testimony that will clear Ross is going to actually sink Cooper?

Maybe because it'll spur Cooper to deploy CIA assets on U.S. soil, which the CIA can't do, wink wink? It does work, because Cooper charges into the inquiry with a gun chasing Drew in an attempt to kill him before he can testify. Which makes him seem unstable and unsuited for the job, but also seems like a hard outcome to predict.

To be clear, this is not a case of Ross having principles and worrying what Cooper will do if he gets the big chair. Ross likes having the big chair, and doesn't want to give it up. He's fine playing dirty, he's fine having his subordinate pick some guy to be the bait, and he's fine if the bait dies. Probably would even help, in the fantasy world this movie occurs in, where people in the Reagan administration actually faced consequences for immoral acts.

Anyway, Drew is the unwitting witness/bait. So Cooper's attempt to figure out what intel Drew has turns into a comedy (I use the term loosely) of errors occurring around a largely oblivious Tom Hanks. They incapacitate Drew's dentist before an appointment, the agent replacing him planning to yank out all Drew's teeth in a search for concealed microfilm. Only for Drew to lose his nerve when he hears a patient freaking out and bail. One of the agents Ross has surveilling the whole thing had fallen behind and ends up walking into the trap instead.

Skipping the appointment means Drew returns home early, so the team tearing his place apart does a rush job putting it back together. Now the handles on the faucet in the sink control his shower, and the toilet controls the sink, his shampoo is in his toothpaste tube, and his chairs are structurally unsound.

Drew's also carrying on an affair with a flutist (Carrie Fisher) in the symphony. Her percussionist husband (Jim Belushi) becomes increasingly paranoid as the CIA teams grow reckless. But Drew's head gets turned by Maddy (Lori Singer), Cooper's top agent, who is herself charmed when Drew plays a piece of music he's been writing (and which Cooper concludes must contain a code.)

It feels like it ought to be funny, but it mostly didn't work for me. I laughed a lot more at Paint, or even Eephus, which is not a comedy, than this film. There is one poor agent wandering the sewers for hours, because Cooper thinks all the toilet flushing was Drew putting something down the pipes, rather than just trying to use his sink. The way that guy is forgotten, still down there alone in the middle of the night, lost and defeated, while Drew's wooing Maddy with his music, that was sorta funny.

Other than that? Not much. Tom Hanks can do comedy, but the way the movie is structured, he's the center of everything, but very little of it touches him. It's all going on around him without his knowledge. Like, the whole mess with his plumbing is revealed through him trying to use the sink and the shower turning on. There's a chance for some silly physical comedy, Hanks get sprayed or something, and the movie is just like, "Nah." Most of the humor is apparently supposed to be watching these agents tie themselves in knots trying to figure out what Drew is up to.

One bit that works is when he returns home from the aborted trip to the dentist and Maddy is waiting in his living room as a distraction until the team can tranq dart him and then flee. Except it takes 3 darts to put him out (I guess because seeing her in his apartment got him too worked up for the darts to work), with his speech getting increasingly goofy until he topples over.

Belushi plays his usual loud idiot, and I guess we're supposed to laugh he's the butt of jokes because he plays dumb practical jokes on Hanks all the time. Fake peanuts, exploding cigars, I'm sure whoopee cushions are utilized. He's also getting cheated on by his wife with his friend, and then starts finding dead bodies that keep mysteriously vanishing, until he goes nuts. Not before he thinks he's going to be killed by a gunman, mind you. I ended up feeling bad for him.

Fisher feels wasted by the movie, and I didn't see any particular chemistry between Hanks and Singer to carry their romantic subplot. Drew is just panting after a leggy blonde, while Maddy doesn't seem to think of him as anything other than a job until he plays that piece he wrote, which happens pretty late in the proceedings.

Also, Drew rides his bike everywhere, but does so wearing headphones, which is insane. He's entirely cut off his hearing as an aid to keep him alive, and he's biking on roads with cars. So either he's one of the cyclists who expects everyone to give way to them, or he's got a death wish, and I don't think he's got a death wish. 

What I Bought 9/2/2026 - Part 2

I have the day off! But it's still really hot outside! So I'm not going anywhere! Fortunately, we have comics to review! Two of them! I kinda like getting all my DC stuff for the month in one go! Exclamation point!

Batgirl #23, by Tate Brombal (writer), Takeshi Miyazawa (artist), Mike Spicer (colorist), Tom Napolitano (letterer) - The plants would like a turn crouching dramatically.

Batgirl has brought Jaya and Tenji to the restaurant she hung out at sometimes before everything went to hell at the beginning of this volume. Very surprised that family survived the attack by the Unburied, considering Shiva's insistence that anyone Cass got involved would be in danger. Cass herself is lost in thought, maybe about whether being in this toxic city brings out the worst in her.

As Police Commissioner Vandal Savage - that is still one of the dumbest ideas - makes some TV spot advertising a reward if people narc on any of the Bats, the entire city is overrun by strange plants. Plants which will make the city hostile to human life. Cass can't get through to Batman to receive any specific orders, which really frustrates her. But there's a restaurant full of people to protect, and keep calm, and watch out for.

The kid wants that reward to save his sick mother, and Cass was distracted trying to convince people not freak out because she ran outside to save a guy being attacked by the plants and brought him inside, but still. Not a great start for Batgirl on this crisis. And one of the customer's kids sniffed the flowers and now she's poisoned. Cass vows to get the kid to a hospital, despite the stab wound, and trusts Jaya and Tenji to protect everyone else. Which at least will give Tenji that chance he wanted to make a name for himself as a hero.

I like this. It's not (so far) another exercise in unearthing new, never-before-seen secrets of Cassandra's past. The past history is there, and clearly weighing on her, but the immediate threat is something new. Miyazawa is back on the art. He gets a little rougher with his lines in the moments of panic, when plants start bursting through the floor, then smooths things out again in the quiet, tense moments. Batgirl's brief fight to save that man is drawn as quick and efficient, each move in the span of a few panels.

Is this event tie-in going to be my favorite story in this run so far? What a horrifying thought. 

The Deadman #4, by W. Maxwell Prince (writer), Martin Morazzo (artist), Chris O'Halloran (colorist), Good Old Neon (letterer) - Based on the escalator, Heaven is either a mall or an airport. I'm hoping for the former, but only as long as they have a place that sells big, soft, gooey cookies.

Deadman has a bit of a meltdown about what he learned last issue, until Billy snarls at him to shut up, turning demonic in the process. Boston doesn't get any answers as to what that's about, instead heading for Heaven to try and confab with God about the situation. Billy follows.

While Billy gets some distressing news about himself from Zatanna's dad, which I guess explains his weird behavior when he snapped at Deadman, the Custodian of Souls spends most of the issue in God's waiting room, chatting with his secretary. Who is probably actually God, but whatever. The main point is for Deadman to decide that, even if he knew the souls he thought he helped wound up in Hell, he still would have tried to get them sent on to Heaven. Because it's worthwhile to try and help someone, even if it doesn't work.

So he leaves. I note that he didn't gain any insight into the creatures eating souls or who is manipulating them (which is some mysterious figure with either a cube or a book for a head), and therefore seems no closer to dealing with the problem than he was at the end of issue 1. And then he got pushed off the escalator by a panicked Billy, and lands in the clutches of some Cyber-Swamp Thing. Which is kind of a weird shift.

Until the point Deadman - or is he Aliveman now? - lands in that situation, the entire book is 9-panel grids. 18 solid pages of 9-panel grids. Not much change or in perspective or style within the panels. Monotonous. Quite the change from the previous issue, which offered so much variety. It's all the same, all very rigid and constrained. Sterile. The most pizzazz are the panels with Zatara, where's he got a smoke machine and a stage backdrop. A showman. That's two panels. Bleak commentary on Heaven, unless the idea is it gives you the time and space to find answers yourself.

Sunday Splash Page #443

"All Grown Up," in Avengers and Power Pack: Assemble #4, by Marc Sumerak (writer), Gurihiru (artist), Dave Sharpe (letterer)

Similar to some of Sumerak's other Power Pack mini-series, this one starts with what appear to be done-in-one stories, which later connect into a larger narrative. First, the kids team up with Captain America, despite his objections about their age, to stop Taskmaster after he swiped some data from a Stark Industries research lab.

Besides Tasky losing first to a bunch of elementary schoolkids, then senior citizens (WW2 buddies of Captain America, but still, no Infinity Formula for these guys), we also get a scene where he mocks Power Pack not only for being kids, but for their costumes. This while rocking his Udon Studios, "my good costume is at the dry cleaners," look.

Then Katie Power zaps him in the face. Deserved.

Second issue, AIM stole an experimental armor (thanks to the info Taskmaster swiped for them), and Jack gets it in his head that if they recover it, Tony Stark will pay them a big reward. AIM is, surprisingly, prepared for the kids, and in an escape attempt, Jack suits up in the experimental armor. Then accidentally attacks Iron Man with it. They free his siblings and stop AIM, but when Jack asks about a reward for rescuing the armor, Iron Man says they can just deduct it from the cost of the damage Jack did to said armor. 

Which is such a billionaire move. It's pocket change to Stark, but he'd rather come up with an excuse to stiff a kid and disguise your own incompetence.

In the last two issues, the Power family travels to New York City on vacation, and the kids try to help the New Avengers fight Kang and his army of guys in suits based on Iron Man's experimental armor, as he was behind the schemes in the first two issues. I guess this is his idea of fighting honorably, stealing period-appropriate technology to fight with. Minus his own futuristic stuff that freezes his opponents in place. So honorable!

How well known the Power Pack are varies from mini-series to mini-series. Wolverine knows them, but they'd been in at least one, maybe two, other mini-series with him by this point. Captain America apparently vouched for them to Iron Man somewhere between issues 1 and 2. Taskmaster knows them, and says they're a joke among the costumed community. As he's running around in a tracksuit and a skull mask like some doofus with an urban explorer Youtube channel, so glass houses and all that. AIM has heard of them, enough to have weapons prepared to counter their powers.

Kang, however, doesn't know them, dismissing them as innocent children, until they attack him. At which point they're flung into a future where Kang runs things and they must team-up with their older selves. How their older selves are there if they were chucked into the future, I don't know. Obviously they make it back to the mid-2000s, but then the dystopian future never comes to pass, so. . . 

I did a longer review of the mini-series 3 years ago. 

Saturday Splash Page #245

"Insult to Attempted Injury," in Union Jack #3, by Christos Gage (writer), Mike Perkins (penciler), Andrew Hennessy (inker), Laura Villari (colorist), Cory Petit (letterer)

I bought this 4-issue, late-2006, mini-series in back issues last year. Came up somehow or the other in the comments at House to Astonish, and it wasn't expensive, so I figured, what the hell?

MI5 gets word some new AIM splinter group called "R.A.I.D." wants to establish themselves as the #1 terror organization in the world, after Wolverine hacked up thousands of HYDRA guys in Millar's Wolverine run. R.A.I.D.'s staging a massive strike on England, via a crap-ton of C-list super-villains out to do as much damage as possible. By the time Union Jack's been contacted, there's only 8 hours until it starts. Excalibur is off on assignment elsewhere, and the folks in the U.S. are busy with Civil War.

So, besides Union Jack, you've got former Assistant Director of SHIELD Contessa Allegra Valentina de la Fontaine, banished to the hinterlands of England(?) when Fury fell out of favor and got replaced with Maria Hill. *cackles in disbelief* You've also got Sabra, and a new Arabian Knight. An Israeli and a Saudi. No tension there.

I'm guessing the Knight's new design is Perkins' work. He ditches the turban, in favor of a sleeveless tactical vest and fatigue pants. The flying carpet has been unraveled and turned into the clothes he wears and automatically hardens like armor to any attack, but does not give him the ability to fly, so I guess it was a tradeoff. I feel like the scimitar used to be on fire, which is not in evidence here, outside of one panel where it looks like there are blue flames following the arc of his swing. Being mystical, it can cut anything. Actually, the re-design of the Arabian Knight might have been the point of discussion at House to Astonish. Characters receiving updated, less stereotypical designs perhaps?

Gage positions Union Jack (Joe Chapman version) as a man of the people. His relationship with Spitfire fell apart because they're from different worlds, what with her being landed gentry and him painting houses for a living. I can't figure which of them objected, but if it was him, Joe might be a damn idiot. 

That said, he doesn't care about political divides. If people are willing, he'll take the help. When Contessa suggests that, given his past history of objections to mass murder (that time he turned on Mr. Hyde and teamed up with Captain America), Batroc might be willing to roll on his buddies Zaran and Machete, Joe's up for giving it a try.

He's also not one for compromises. When Arabian Knight offers to let Joe kill him, so he can use the Knight's mystic sword (because the Knight's too concussed), Joe refuses. He's not killing an ally. He also objects to the MI5 guy withholding news of the impending attack from the public. All the more when it becomes clear the politicians got the word, and blabbed to all their wealthy pals. Of course, while Jack does tell people to shelter in place, he's a fool to think they'll listen, creating a lot of gridlock which the villains exploit. But "the people" come to his aid, especially in the big fight against the final threat.

Speaking of villains, besides Zaran and Machete, you've got Crossfire and his Death-Throws, Shockwave, Firebrand, Jackhammer, Boomerang, Jack O'Lantern, Ecstasy, and the Corruptor. Like I said, C-list. More critically in this story, they're all in it for the money. None of it is ideological for them, and against this version of Union Jack, that's not enough.

He's almost suicidally determined to stop them. He gets stabbed in the chest, through body armor, by Zaran, and just keeps choking him until Zaran surrenders. He dares Bombshell to throw a bomb at him when he's so close. Risk ending up scarred because of her revealing costume on the chance his won't protect him. He goes after Jack O'Lantern hard enough the guy decides to run - which seems on point, Jack O'Lantern's always been a chickenshit, no matter which guy is wearing the flaming pumpkin - only to end up run over by a flying car. This after Jack gets repeatedly zapped by Shockwave, before risking electrocuting both of them by cutting open the suit while they were in a puddle of water.

I think Perkins and/or Gage oversells it in the final issue, when a multiple-story dreadnought kicks Union Jack across Trafalgar Square and into a building, hard enough to break some of the stone the building is made of. Jack gets up and stabs a flagpole into an opening created by the Knight and Sabra and hits the liquid nitrogen reserves. As far as I know, Jack is not superhuman.

The final issue is also when Jack puts it together that, though this wasn't an inside job, it had some help getting as far as it did. It boils down to another chance to show Joe Chapman doesn't compromise his ideals, and doesn't find the sacrifice of innocent people to further some amorphous idea of "security" acceptable. Even if it makes him persona non grata with government agencies going forward.

It's funny, the MI5 guy asks Union Jack if he's planning to rush to future crises on the bus. Setting aside I think the UK has a much better public transportation system than the U.S., it didn't look like Jack was getting much help at the start of the mini-series, when he was killing vampires by himself, and apparently spending half his paycheck on silver bullets. But, as a man of the people, maybe Jack can bum rides off delivery drivers and street racers he's helped in the past. It worked for Kim Possible.

What I Bought 9/2/2026 - Part 1

About a month ago, I got an e-mail from Internet Movie Database, telling me my account had been created. While I do use it as a resource for almost every movie post, I had not created an account, so I dismissed it as some sort of phishing scam. Until I went to the site a week later, and it showed me as signed in. Turns out, Amazon owns or is connected to IMDb, so if you have an account with Bezos' Money Machine, they make you one for the movie site.

I deleted the account. I'll decide whether I make an account on a website or not, thanks. Today we've got the first of three comics from this week. I wasn't expecting to find all three at the local store. Two at best, given I hadn't had much luck with FF or Deadman last month. I guess that's the advantage to getting there on a Wednesday instead of a Thursday.

Fantastic Four #16, by Ryan North (writer), Ramon Rosanas (artist), Edgar Delgado (color artist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - Think you're a little late with the cover-up attempt, gang. I do like the font as trying to evoke old sci-fi mags or something similar.

The FF are hiding on an alien world until they fix their 1950s-style flying saucer. The intelligent life is technologically around the "dirigibles and phonograph" stage, so I guess it's a Prime Directive thing. Johnny bought a "graphophone" so they can listen to music while they work, plus some clay for Alicia to work with. Which gives her an idea.

Apparently, there was a theory that if you can store sound by carving into a wax cylinder, other things could store sounds when you carved them, like clay. Earth's clay doesn't do this, but the clay of the alien world does. If someone hummed while they carved a vase, the vase stored the sound and it could be played. Disguised, the FF share this discovery with the world, figuring as long as it seems like their own people figured it out, and the locals are the ones who actually test the artifacts, it's fine.

It's not fine. People learn things about the great thinkers, creators, religious figures and whatnot, that they didn't want to know. Fights break out, people start trying to destroy elements of the past. Reed gets the idea if they reveal they're actually aliens and explain a few things, people will calm down. Reed is wrong.

As the FF can't keep the entire world from fighting each other, they try one last time, only this time they lie. Present another invention that "accidentally" reveals them as beings of malicious intent (instead of, let's be kind and said overly optimistic), and are "killed" before they can escape in their saucer. They return to Earth, now having to explain to their kids why it was OK to lie this time. I'm not sure I buy Sue's reasoning that it may not matter in the long run, as I suspect that even if a member of the species rediscovers the truth centuries down the line, there will still be pushback from reactionary forces who don't like having their worldview challenged. But I'm a cynical person.

I was trying to decide what was bugging me the entire issue about Rosanas' version of the Thing. I think it's he gives Ben a neck. His head is too high relative to his shoulders. Although judging by that first panel, the area between his nose and lips looks almost like a dog's muzzle. That ain't helping. Also, seeing him wearing the same costume as the others, instead of just the pants, is weird to me. I know he's done that at times in the past, and I don't blink when he wears sweaters or whatever during his time off, but the snug spandex look just didn't seem right.

Dredging Up the Past. And Fish.

You're sailing to a series of islands, but in the dark of night, in fog too dense to see, you wreck your ship. You wash up in the town of Greater Marrow, where the Mayor has an offer: If you'll agree to be a fisherman, they have a boat you can use. For some reason, the locals don't want the job.

You soon find there's more in the waters around here than just fish. Treasures, sure, but strange lights, too. Monsters. Things in the night that aren't what they seem.

Most of DREDGE is exploring and collecting resources. You putter around catching fish, or dredge for sunken materials. The materials can be treasures - rings, jewelry, sacks of doubloons - or building supplies. Wood, cloth, scrap metal. The treasures, like the fish, can be sold. The materials are for upgrading the ship. Enabling it to carry more lights, more nets or engines. You get all the upgrades of a certain level, then you can get yourself a bigger hull, so you can get the next round of upgrades.

Of course, you must pay to apply the upgrades once you collect the materials necessary to build them, and that's where the fishing and dredging for treasures come in. That's done through timing events. Fishing, there'll be some sort of pattern around a silhouette of the fish you're going to catch, and you hit the button when the cursor is inside the green area (or the yellow, if you want to catch a trophy-sized specimen.) For dredging, there are two concentric circles rotating, with irregularly spaced black bars in them. You hit the button to move your cursor from one circle to the other, avoiding the bars.

You know where to fish or dredge because there'll be disturbed water, bubbles marking activity. You can usually see an outline of what's there, so if you're looking for particular fish, or particular building materials, you can try to pick the right spots, without wasting valuable daylight hours on something you didn't want.

There are also surprises. Good ones! All the fish species have aberrations, mutated versions you occasionally catch. You can recognize those spots because the disturbances in the water give off green blips of light, like the bubbles and sparks from a cartoon mad scientist's latest potion. Eel species that sometimes are a "twinned eel", basically Siamese twin eels. The Three-Headed Cod. An octopus where each tentacle ends in a mouth of razor sharp teeth. OK, that actually sounds like a horrible thing to catch, but you can get more money for it. What are a few fingers when there's money to be made? There's also the option to leave behind crab pots or hang out a trawl net, and just catch fish as you sail, if you want to be lazy about it.

Sometimes dredging pulls up odd mechanical bits called "research parts." You use them to figure out how to upgrade your gear, the specific engines, fishing rods, nets and crab pots. Of course, unlocking the upgraded versions just means you can buy them from either the shipwright in Greater Marrow or the one with a floating dock that services the other islands. Hey, how is it I'm doing all the work, and they're making all the money?

Oh, right, all the shipwrights around here are sturdy women wielding pipe wrenches. I retract my complaint.

I kid, the shipwrights are actually very helpful and frequently show concern when I don't get enough sleep. There are several island chains within the game. Each usually has at least two places you can dock, and usually at least one person is looking for help with something. You know how it goes. Find my photography equipment. Help me reconcile with my brother. Lure in creatures capable of flaying your sanity so I can kill them with a mortar salvaged from a wrecked biplane.

Daytime is relatively safe, save the occasional monster that can damage your ship, if not outright destroy it. Nighttime is another matter. The fog closes in. Even the strongest lights only let you see so far, and where you can't see, your character's mind fills in the blanks. Usually in the least helpful way possible. As a general rule, if you see a wobbly purple-red aurora, try to avoid it. If it lets you.

There's a little dial at the top of the screen that shows the time and whether it's light or dark. If you stay out after dark, an eye starts to appear on the dial. The longer you stay awake, the wider it gets, and if you sail too close to one of those auroras, the eye starts to shift colors and vibrate as your grip on reality slips. I guess it represents your eyes darting about, looking at shadows in panic. Rocks appear and disappear at the edge of your lights, assuming your lights don't shut off entirely. You'll see the lights of other ships in the dark, or enormous, ghostly sharks will surge at you from the fog, tearing through your ship. Man, now I gotta pay to repair that! And if the hull is damaged, something, will dart in through the gap and start infecting your fish, which hurts my profit margin! Stupid ghost sharks!

The broad plot is you meet a mysterious man who lives alone on Blackstone Island, just south of Greater Marrow. He wants you to find certain items. Items that reveal themselves at night, via a pillar of the same purple-red light as the mind-shredding auroras. Items frequently guarded by monsters. The solutions vary in details, but usually require getting something for someone else. Help a researcher by returning her equipment, and she'll construct something to temporarily repel the tentacled horror resting near one item. Catch specific fish to place on altars to recover mystical flames. Avoid little fish that can slow down your ship, while they call for their big mama, who can do significantly more than that.

When you return the items, you get special skills. Haste speeds up your ship, though it risks damaging your engines and messes with your head. Manifest teleports you to the Collector's house, and really fucks with your head. Then there's Banish, which can dispel the visions haunting you, and, well, you get the idea. On the plus side, the slackening grip on sanity is represented by the hallucinations. There's none of the wobbly-screen stuff from The Sinking City that gave me such a headache.

I made the mistake of not asking more questions of the Collector, or I would have known not to spam Manifest as much as I did. Because using it brings you to the attention of things you'd rather not have notice you. Which would explain why, around the time I finally asked, I found myself being chased by a giant, ghostly stingray immediately after using it. Sorry, I didn't get a picture of it. But using Manifest makes it look like your ship self-destructed!

In general, I needed to question characters more often. If someone asked me to find certain fish for them, I would definitely ask for any info they had about them. What kind of water depth they liked, nocturnal or not, stuff like that. But I wouldn't always think to ask, for example, the lady with the floating dock, what she knew about the island chain I just reached. Would have saved myself some grief at Devil's Spine if I did as soon as I found her.

I tended to focus on collecting materials and money to expand the ship, without upgrading much of my gear, the exception being the fishing rods. That was because there are 7 different habitats the fish can reside in (coastal-shallows-mangrove-volcanic-oceanic-hadal-abyssal), and the rods available early on are only suitable for one apiece. I ain't fixin' to carry 7 damn fishing rods, so I put the research parts into unlocking two rods that, between them, covered all 7 habitats. It meant there was no room for the trawl net, but oh well. As long as I had a crab pot, I didn't have to worry about not having the tools to catch what I needed.

On the downside, my engines were weak for a long time. It usually took the entire day to get from the Marrows to any of the 4 major island chains. Which left me with the options of a) resting at some dock for the night, b) trying to sail through the night to get back home, or c) using Manifest to get to Blackstone Island, which was a short enough jaunt from the Marrows to seem manageable at night. You know, outside the increased madness and vengeful ghost stingray. But the fish go bad if you wait too long, and I didn't want to risk blowing a quest and having to catch another fish, so Manifest it was.

Later in the game, I added a couple more engines, and let me tell you, going from a top speed of around 37 km/hr to over 100 km/hr makes a world of difference. I could cover the distance between any two points in the day. If I needed to be out at night, I was fast enough to outrun the night's horrors.

If I were to play from the beginning, I'd probably upgrade the engines as I added more space for them, instead of waiting until the end. I'd also take more time to just focus on fishing and dredging. It'd be a necessity anyway, to get the money to afford better engines. The Collector isn't calling me up and demanding I produce results, so there's no time limit, unless there's some sort of speed run Achievement. (It took me around 190 days, in-game, to get to the endings.)

That said, I didn't feel invested in the overarching plot. Really, I was barely aware of it. There was clearly some weird stuff going on. All the mutated fish, for one. You find bottles with messages suggesting a doomed romance. The Lighthouse Keeper makes cryptic remarks and keeps giving you the stink-eye. Hey, there's a boat a lot like yours, smashed on some rocks near Blackstone Island! What a coinky-dink!

But as I played, I didn't associate that stuff with anything I was doing. It was more like, local color. I figured, maybe if I kept sailing around, I'd find a sidequest that would lead to answers. Obviously the Collector was messing with dark powers, but I didn't have any sense of what his goal was, or if I was anything other than his unwitting dupe.

Again, maybe I needed to ask more questions, but I don't think it impeded my enjoyment of the game. I liked just sailing around, fishing in different spots, seeing what I could catch. Checking out the islands and the assorted weirdos, or searching for little coves or hidden treasures. Trying to use the camera to take nifty photos. Mixed results on that last one, but it was fun to mess with. Reminded me of the more peaceful parts of Legend of Zelda: The Windwaker, even if DREDGE takes place in a much less pleasant climate. A lot more rain, a lot rougher seas, blustery winds that carry those green blips of light like the magic's chasing you.

What I Bought 8/29/2026 - Part 2

I bought Outlast off the Playstation store several months ago. Fortunately when it was on sale, because I didn't get very far before I concluded it wasn't for me. I expected it to be tense, but I didn't realize how frustrated I'd get with the gameplay. I know I don't love first-person perspective for stealth games, but I guess Thief and Dishonored at least giving the option to defend yourself if you blow it blunted the dissatisfaction more than I thought. Not a choice with Outlast. All you can do is run, or hide, and it's just too tense. 

Vampyrates! #2, by Fred van Lente (writer), Luca Pizzari (artist), Adam Guzowski (colorist) Jodie Troutman (letterer) - Kind of wish the bats were forming into the jolly roger, or vice versa.

This issue is mostly former Empress Nira figuring out her current situation. She's on a pirate ship, with a captain (Akeyo) who knows Nira is who she claims to be, and not just some nut. Akeyo has no interest in letting Nira leave, to say nothing of following her commands. That Nira can't place Akeyo - meaning, she doesn't realize Akeyo was serving as a privateer for Nira, who got listed as an enemy because nobody told Akeyo the war was over - probably isn't helping. Or maybe it is. Akeyo could want the person she's angry with to actually remember her, and understand why, before taking revenge.

End result, Nira is part of the crew now. Specifically, part of a gunnery crew, with a little blonde vamp called Longlocks. And she's getting some practice in a hurry, because they attack a ship carrying tithes. Which is to say walking blood bags, aka, humans. There's also an area locked off, but it seems to be full, not of gold, but "rotters." Which I guess are vampires that are dead and mindless? Zombie vampires. Seems like they'd be easier to kill, lacking much in the way of thought or coordination, but still messy.

Fight scenes are brief, mostly implied by a panel of Nira looking on in shock as blood flies. That page is the only one where Pizzari's panels aren't square or rectangular, with the sides parallel to the edges of the page. They're slanted or angled instead, as maybe being this up-close to pirate warfare is unsettling to a coddled royal, even one that's good with a blade.

But Nira ends up saving one of the crew, and took care of the rotters by setting the ship ablaze (to destroy all the bounty posters with her picture on them that she found), so she's made some friends. Now if she can only figure out what Akeyo stands to gain by letting the humans slip away at night in a longboat.

So van Lente's throwing a lot of stuff in, and not necessarily stopping to explain all of it. Which makes sense. Odds are most of Akeyo's crew has seen all this before, and they aren't the types to stop and explain to the "crazy" newbie. But yeah, a lot of place names, a lot of concepts where I'm not totally sure of the context.