No Tithes in the Church of Doom

So, if Zodiac can shield himself from vampires by wearing a gold chain with his name as a symbol of his faith, should we assume Dr. Doom is likewise impervious to vampires?

Yes, I know, "How would a vampire bite him through the armor?" I mean besides that, smart guy.

Who has more faith in themselves than Victor von Doom? Even massive egoists like Tony Stark and Reed Richards occasionally doubt themselves. They just don't, unfortunately, ever actually listen to those doubts.

But DOOM is beyond doubts. Even what appears failures to lesser minds are, in fact, only another step in Doom's inevitable path to absolute victory. For the good of the universe. I imagine for a vampire, entering Doom's castle is like walking into a church. Everything burns.

So the question really is, what would do wear as a symbol of his faith in himself? Zodiac had a gold chain with his name on it, but that's so gauche, so petty bourgeois. Doom isn't going to wear something like that.

A little Doom doll, I mean collectible figurine? Nah.

A big medallion? A little too '70s.

A picture of his unscarred face in one of those lockets people usually reserve for their great loves? Now we're getting somewhere.

What I Bought 5/17/2023

I'm on the road most of next week. Hopefully that'll be a fun escape, but who can tell. My track record when I go north is that the weather goes to shit. Currently, things look promising besides the temps climbing towards 90 again.

Meanwhile, here's an extra-sized (and extra-pricey), "we hit a round number" Marvel comic.

Fantastic Four #7 (also #700), by Ryan North (writer), Iban Coello (artist), Jesus Arbutov (color artist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - It looks like Alex Ross went with the cast of heroes from Secret Wars in the background there.

The FF escape the incompetence of Maria Hill, though Hill later tells Nick Fury she let them escape. Sure you did, Most Incompetent SHIELD Agent Ever. The family reaches their new temporary home, Ben's Aunt Petunia's old house in the woods.

Petunia mentions the home may be haunted, although Reed insists there's no such thing as ghosts. So naturally, they're visited by a ghost that night. Come the morning, they find it difficult to think of words. Just a few at first, but increasing in frequency. They're forgetting the alphabet, in that they know there are supposed to be 26 letters, but they can't recall all of them. North and Coello present this with the group singing the Alphabet Song over and over again while Reed tries to figure out what's wrong. In most of the panels, the team looks relaxed as they sing, even as the letters decrease. It's only after a repetition that there's a pause where they realize they've lost most letters, or that Alicia can't recall her own name. By the time the ghost returns, they only know three letters: D, O, and M.

I cackled at the idea that Doom engineered some sort of nanite that can steal or block letters from people's minds, but left the letters to spell his name. With no ability to communicate verbally, the FF get trounced, especially since Doom's in a mood. He is deeply offended by Richards' clumsy time travel thingy, which has deprived Doom of a year of his goddaughter. So he's come to gloat, right before he travels back in time to fix things.

Except he can't fix things. He tries to turn the tide, but Reed triggers the doohickey anyway. Tries to attack Reed, one of the others does it. Tries to abduct Valeria, Reed stops that and the device still goes off. Goes further back to try and alter other events, this somehow makes things worse. On and on, until Doom concludes that his future selves have somehow already optimized their timeline. Things can't get any better for him at this precise moment than they are.

Doom takes that as well as you'd expect (to be fair, if you told me this current life was as good as it gets, I'd be unhappy too), and concludes he has to stop himself from even trying. So he does, and his past self has to withdraw. North overdoes it on the retreat speech, Doom insisting he's leaving because the FF are already so ruined there's no need to do more.

It's another of those points where North tilts too far into the tone he used in Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, exaggerating Doom's ego to a comedic extent, in a story that doesn't fit that. This story is Doom revealing his affection for Valeria, in his own manner, and how that twists around his disdain for Reed and his perception of himself. The blind spots he possesses, the outcomes he considers intolerable, how that limits him. There's no indication Doom tries simply going back before the battle to warn Reed of the impending attack and to not use the machine. Explanations are for lesser men, and Doom need not justify his actions to anyone. The retreat monologue undercuts it by almost reaching parody level.

Sunday Splash Page #173

 

"Doom is Getting Out of This Clown Show," in Dr. Doom and the Masters of Evil #2, by Paul Tobin (writer), Patrick Scherberger, Jon Burran and Scott Koblish (pencilers), Terry Pallot and Scott Koblish (inkers), Chris Sotomayor and Guillem Mari (colorists), Dave Sharpe (letterer)

A nifty little Doom-centric mini-series from early 2009. Tobin sends Doom all over the Marvel Universe for 4 issues, teaming up with and fighting various super-villains. In every issue, Doom seems to have acquired some powerful invention, magic, or vital bit of information, but his ultimate goal remains unclear until the final issue. And even once we learn what he's seeking, Tobin has a final twist on it at the very end. Basically, Doom gets himself a magic wish, that can be for anything, and doesn't use it to kill Reed Richards.

I know, I was kind of disappointed, too.

I'm not going to tell you what he does wish for, since you can probably find this cheap enough out there. I could see it as a cop-out, since it goes against the obvious thing we'd expect. But I think Tobin puts in enough work up to that point through the first 3.5 issues that I can understand his choice.

Tobin writes Doom as powerful, but not overwhelmingly so, and self-aware enough to know it. Doom's ultimate weapon is, as always, his mind. Doom isn't stymied when his big attack doesn't stop Blastaar or whoever, because that was never the plan. And each step of his quest builds to the next.

Although I think Tobin plays up Blastaar a little too much. I'm not picking that guy in a fight with the Executioner.

Most of the issues are not such an ensemble cast of credits. The art chores are mostly handled by Scherberger, who had worked with Tobin on Marvel Adventures Spider-Man for a while prior to this. Sticks with classic looks for most of the characters, other than giving Selene something a bit more modest. Gotta protect the kids, ya know. I think his attempts to make Doom's mask expressive sometimes make it look goofy instead, but it mostly works. Everything is easy to follow, the inking and coloring aren't excessively dark or busy, so the art isn't cluttered. The story uses a variety of characters and locales, and Shcerberger makes them all distinct and easy to tell apart. Doom's intimidating when he needs to be, but not all the time, because the story is trying to lure us in to understanding or possibly rooting for Doom.

Next week, the last title in the D's.

Sunday Splash Page #161

 

"Failed Their Stealth Check," in Doctor Strange and Doctor Doom: Triumph and Torment, by Roger Stern (writer), Mike Mignola (pencil artist), Mark Badger (inker/color artist), Jim Novak (letterer)

The premise of the story is that Strange passes a test of several mystics engineered by the Vishanti, but Doom is the only other person standing at the end, and by the bizarre rules of the test, he's owed one favor from Strange. To Strange's surprise, Doom requests his help rescuing his mother's soul from Mephisto. That proves as difficult you'd expect stealing a soul away from the Devil to be.

I know we're in Master of the Mystic Arts March (and April), but this is one of my favorite Dr. Doom stories. Doom is arrogant, but not oblivious to Strange being vastly better at magic than him, and more than willing to learn from him. Strange expects Doom to demand help enslaving the world, while Mephisto offers to give him the world, and Doom rejects them both, stating basically that he can take the world whenever he chooses. He doesn't need help.

He keeps his word, but exactly to the letter of it. During the mystic challenge, when one of the others argues Doom has no business there, as reliant as he is on technology, Doom states he will remove his gauntlets and deactivate all his offensive weaponry. That does not, however, prevent him from using his armor's sensors to analyze and help him mimic the other mystics' gestures and spells as they're using them. Doom is willing to do whatever it takes to free his mother, and able to use that to play others' expectations of him. He's determined to succeed, but not so blind as to trust Mephisto to keep a bargain.

He's not a good man, but he still has a certain level of honor he plays by. Mignola's Doom is a big, boxy thing, with the cape giving the appearance of broad shoulders and the oversized joints of the armor working together to give him a looming, imposing presence. It makes the moments where he's slumped over in exhaustion or despair, like a toy that's run out of power, more effective. Every so often, the art moves in close enough to offer the glimpse of the eyes and the scars around them that remind the reader there is a person in there.

Strange is definitely the confident (but not over-confident) veteran Sorcerer Supreme Stern wrote during his stint on the ongoing series. Mephisto's demons attempt to beat him by attacking his inner self, insisting he's only the selfish jerk he was as a surgeon, and it doesn't work. He consistently recognizes when a frontal attack isn't the right approach, and finds a way around. Whether it's unraveling the Vishanti's challenge, or figuring out how to beat Mephisto. Strange has been through too much to be suckered into thinking raw power and flinging spells around is always the answer.

Badger's inks and shadows aren't nearly what we'd see from Mignola's art once he started Hellboy (although I'd say the difference between his art here and what he did for the Rocket Raccoon mini-series just a few years earlier is pretty stark), and his inking makes things a bit fussier than that later blocky, solid, almost minimalist style Mignola adopted. But there are effective moments in there. The mystics who fail the Vishanti's tests become less distinct green outlines of what they were. Mephisto is depicted as this looming, shadowed form. His eyes are yellow voids, and his face is usually hidden so no expression can be seen. Especially when he's making someone an offer. It's only when he thinks he's won, or the tables have been turned on him, that the shadows fall away and whatever he's really feeling becomes readily visible.

How Much Guilt Is Doom Capable Of Feeling?

Random comic-related hypothetical for the day: Would Dr. Doom be affected by Ghost Rider's Penance Stare?

(Setting aside the obvious answer of, "yes if the plot requires it.")

The Penance Stare inflicts upon the victim's soul all the suffering and anguish they have caused others. Which means it's proven ineffective against people who don't have souls. As far as I know, Doom still has his. I can't picture him being so desperate or foolish as to barter it to Mephisto or whoever. He'd figure he could deal with whatever problem he faced, so no need to resort to such measures.

But the Stare has also proven ineffective if the person you use it on doesn't feel any regret for their past actions. In the one example of that I've seen, it was because the guy believed all the pain he'd inflicted was for a righteous cause - punishing sinners - and so their suffering meant nothing to him. Which suggests Frank Castle would also be immune, but that's for another day.

So given that, it boils down to whether Doom has regrets over his past actions, and whether it's enough to drive him to his knees*. Offhand, I think Doom would certainly fall into the category of someone who believes all his actions are just. But he's also capable of feeling pain and sorrow, in his own melodramatic way. So I think it would hurt him, if it was the suffering of people harmed by his failures.

The times Doom challenged someone by himself because he was certain he could win, but he blew it, and others paid the price. The times his plans backfired and brought more trouble than he expected. Not because I think Doom cares all that much about the ones hurt as people, but it reflects poorly on him. Tarnishes that self-image he tries to project of his infallibility. Doom could deny the pain of people he chose to harm as having brought it on themselves for challenging him, but the pain of those hurt because he wasn't up to the challenge might be a different matter.

* The Doom that played at being Iron Man a couple of years ago definitely does, and barring him using some spell to protect himself, would absolutely be vulnerable.

Alternate Favorite Marvel Characters #2 - Doctor Doom

Character: Doctor Doom (Victor von Doom)

Creators: Jack Kirby and Stan Lee

First Appearance: Fantastic Four #5

First encounter: Fantastic Four #287. Part of a grab bag of Marvel stuff as a Christmas present, along with most of my first encounters for Marvel. Some guy attacks the Latverian embassy while Sue, She-Hulk, and the Wasp are visiting a hair stylist conveniently across the street. The guy claims Doom has his wife, so they help. Turns out the guy is Doom, inhabiting some poor schmo's body, and the Doom they saw through the window is a Doombot. Heck of a way to get introduced to the idea Doom can body-hop.

Huh, it was the issue after Jean Grey came back. At least I dodged that bullet.

Definitive writer: The trick is, I don't own very many Fantastic Four comics. Almost all the Doctor Doom appearances I have come from other titles.  I'm pretty fond of Roger Stern's version, but that's based entirely off one story.

It should probably be Stan Lee, but as I think I mentioned when I did this for the Thing, I only know the Lee/Kirby run by reputation, and all the endless callbacks everyone else does. Based on the Fantastic Four comics I actually own, it's probably Walt Simonson. His Doom was petty enough during Acts of Vengeance to create a device to compel villains to attack the FF constantly, but also have it be total loser villains who have no hope of stealing his victory.

'Course, that turned out to be a Doombot, or the Super-Adaptoid disguised as a Doombot, but when Doom showed up again, he got a cool new look, and showed he was still smarting from the beating the Thing gave him on the Baxter Building roof all those years ago. He had enough honor - or pretense of honor - to give Reed a chance to challenge him in a duel, but still cheat when things started to turn against him.

Definitive artist: John Byrne. I feel like Byrne hit the sweet spot on the armor. Detailed and with enough openings around the eyes to let Doom be expressive. Imposing, but not overly bulky.

Favorite moment or story: Amazing Spider-Man #350. This might be the second comic I read with Doom in it. He shows up looking for the Black Fox, aged thief who stole a gem from a Latverian museum exhibit to finance his retirement. A gem that was a memento of Doom's mother. Spidey, being the conscientious sort, tries to stop Doom from murdering the septuagenarian, and Doom spends 15 pages absolutely kicking Spider-Man's ass for it.

Up to that point, my impression of Doom was formed by his Marvel Universe Series 3 trading card, where his stats were good, but not overwhelming. I was used to Spider-Man facing the Sinister Six and if not winning, holding his own. Doom was just one guy. So him utterly trouncing Spidey was a surprise. Spidey only survives by, as he puts it, playing on Doom's vanity and desire to protect his mother's name. He gives Spidey a chance to fix things, and when it's all said and done, he keeps his word. Up to a point. He gives Spider-Man 24 hours, and when those are up, he is there instantly. The gem is in the possession of cultists trying to summon a murderous swarm back to Earth. Doom won't directly help, but he sort of does by attacking any of the cannon fodder that are dumb enough to attack him. He gets his gem back, then lets Spider-Man talk him out of murdering the Black Fox, settling for destroying his retirement fund (a large diamond).

How dangerous Doom was, his devotion to his mother's memory, the way he'll make deals and honor them, but only up to the precise limit of what he said. I imagine years of dealing with Mephisto trained him to be extremely specific about wording in any agreement.

What I like about him: When I did the Favorite Character post for Arcade, I called him my favorite villain, then allowed there was one other character I liked better who was a villain sometimes. Here we are. Before we go any further, I should say I have read almost no comics with Doom in them since he made his "face" turn after Secret Wars. So I can't speak to "trying to be a good guy while dressing as Iron Man" Victor von Doom.

Saying Doom is a villain "sometimes" is an understatement, but Doom is capable of being a hero, or at least allying himself with heroes. Granted, Doom working with the heroes means things have gone to hell, and he's usually looking out for his own self-interests.
Whether it's teaming up with the remaining heroes to confront Thanos in Infinity Gauntlet, or trying to keep Shadowcat's molecules from dispersing across infinity. In the former, Doom can't very well rule the world if Thanos is out there with ultimate power, able to wipe Doom from existence whenever he pleases. In the latter example, Doom was motivated by a more personal reason: The chance to get one over on Reed Richards (we'll come back to that).

But the capacity is there, and it makes him at least a bit of a wild card. If Doom shows up in a comic, most likely he is there as an antagonist, he is the problem our hero must confront. But there's a chance he won't be. If he works with a hero, there's a decent chance he will keep his word and not betray them. When he got Dr. Strange's help rescuing his mother's soul from Hell, he truly threw in with Strange and worked with him. He was even willing to be openly trained in sorcery by Strange, admitting Strange was his superior in that regard. That's a big deal given Doom's ego.

That's no guarantee the next time they meet they'll work together, but on that occasion, Doom played it fair. In the Spider-Man story I mentioned above, he made an agreement with Spider-Man, and as Spidey held up his end of the bargain, so did Doom. When Damage Control showed up with an unpaid bill, Doom immediately sat down to write out a check, and didn't even take offense when one of them asked to see an ID. I know that most of the time, he won't keep his word, or he always intended to betray them. But there's always the possibility he is going to play square. You don't know what you're getting when he shows up. Those brief glimpses of his capacity for decency make him just a bit unpredictable.

Most of the time though, he's a villain, and he's a damn good villain. He's got a good look with the armor, especially when they leave enough space around the eyes to do those intense close-ups where you can see the scarring (Byrne was good at those). The gauntlets can look imposing crushing an object in his grasp or whatever. Then the cloak, the setting himself up in a nice chair with a goblet for effect. The apparently deep voice (assuming we can trust Captain America on Doom's ability to speak his name in all caps) and impressive vocabulary to use in his threats. The guy knows how to apply dramatic effect. Which can even be used for comedy when you play it right.

He's a scientific genius and no slouch when it comes to magic. He has an entire country of (mostly) devoted/terrified citizens. You can do something with security vs. freedom if you want, since there seem to be people that are fine with Doom running their lives, and ones that aren't. He creates potential diplomatic issues, since the hero may have to deal with their own government and Doom, where they end up caught between the two. He has an army of robots, several of which end up forgetting they aren't actually him, because apparently his personality is so impressive it just overrides everything else. Plus, the Doombots allow for him to be used to give heroes big, improbable wins. It can always be written it off as a Doombot later. Also, robots are fun to watch get smashed in big fight scenes. He has big aspirations, so he can be on a world-domination plan, the kind of thing where you can raise the stakes by throwing an entire team at him, or by forcing one hero to face him, to make the odds longer.

At the same time, he can be incredibly petty and become focused on the smallest perceived slight, so it can become an intensely personal conflict. He once rewrote one of Reed's diaries to make it look as though the accident that created the FF was something Reed had planned all along. He figured it would wreck their team whenever someone read it, even though he had no idea when that would be. That's impressive, really. He's driven enough, combined with everything else to be incredibly dangerous. This is a guy who challenged a sentient universe, and won, stealing its power. 

Of course, he also lost that power because he was tricked into feeding his doubts about himself. Doom is his own worst enemy. At the end of Hickman's Secret Wars, I compared Reed Richards to Gladstone Gander from the Donald Duck comics: The guy things always work out for, whether he deserves it or not. Dr. Doom is more like Donald: The one who could accomplish a lot if he wasn't constantly thwarting himself with his own greed, anger, and jealousy. He can't resist the urge to gloat or boast. He can't envision there's a flaw in his plans, and he thinks he understands other people, so it's always someone else's fault. Since he filters everything through how he looks at the world, he misreads people and underestimates them. He turned Storm into a living metal statue, and didn't anticipate it would drive her claustrophobia to the extent she'd go berserk once she was free, and that he'd be in deep trouble at that point. He can't stop trying to one-up Reed by trying to kill him and his friends, then cursing the universe when they somehow escape because he underestimated them again. He could simply do all the world-changing things Reed doesn't do (because the writers want the world to stay something closer to our own), and soak up the adulation.

At some point, Reed should announce publicly he's going to end world hunger in the next day because, 'he's the only one who can.' Doom would end it five minutes after the announcement just to thumb his nose at Reed. DOOM Puffs: The nutritious all-in-one meal brought to you by Dr. Doom, our wonderful and beloved monarch! It is ridiculous Doom wastes his time trying to "best" Reed by killing him. By the first time he attacked the Fantastic Four, he'd already built a time machine! Reed's messing around with a fabric for pants so that Johnny can't them burn off, and Doom's mastered time travel.

But part of the fun is the absurd lengths Doom will go to mess with them. When Sharon Ventura was the She-Thing, Doom cured her just so he could use her to lure the FF into a trap. He helped Sue deliver a child through a difficult pregnancy so he could have the right to name the kid. He challenged Cap's Kooky Quartet not because he considered them a threat to his goals, but because he thought they were such pushovers he could easily use them as hostages against the Fantastic Four. You have to love a villain willing to fight one superhero team strictly to draw out a different superhero team. That's dedication to spite.

I like Doom as a constant thorn in Richards' side. I'm not going to pretend Reed is the real villain - Reed typically doesn't take over entire countries - but he seems good at ducking consequences of his more questionable actions. He was right there next to Iron Man all through Civil War, building cyborg murderclones and throwing Speedball in a Negative Zone prison. While Stark spent the next two years getting chewed out or punched by every other hero, Reed skated away clean. He and Sue patched things up on Titan while T'Challa and Storm covered for him on the FF. How does that work?
But we have Doom to harass him constantly. I root for Doom against Reed the same way I root for Wil E. Coyote: I know it might end the story if he actually defeats Reed, but I still like to see him rub Richards' nose in it. Doom has come close a few times. Stolen Reed's body once or twice, nearly wrecked his family. Doom makes the mistake of assuming Reed is like him (a lesser version of Doom, obviously, but similar) when there are differences. But they're alike enough he knows how to hurt him.

Because of all his flaws, Doom does feel very human to me. His inability to let go of past slights, blaming everyone else for his failures. His conviction he knows what's best for everyone, that he's always right. He has doubts, but tries very hard to pretend he doesn't. Every so often he can do something self-sacrificing, like free his mother's soul from Hell even though she'll escape believing he betrayed the Sorcerer Supreme to Mephisto to accomplish it. He's very aware of what others think of him. I don't know what the actual situation in Latveria is, but I usually figure it has low poverty and disease rates, and is environmentally-friendly (killer robots running on renewable energy!). It would reflect badly on Doom otherwise (he's obviously not so concerned with his reputation with regards to civil liberties). Same thing when Damage Control showed up with that unpaid bill. Can't have people thinking Dr. Doom is a bum. I'm going to argue "malfunctioning Doombot" for that time he stiffed Luke Cage of $200.

Sometimes he uses the awareness to his advantage. He pretended that curing Sharon Ventura would unlock an understanding of genetic engineering he could use to make Latveria a lot of money, so he can cut taxes. Because if he said he just wanted to help, Sharon would immediately suspect "trap". In Triumph and Torment, Mephisto is sure Doom would betray Dr. Strange in exchange for his mother. Doom uses that as a way to get he and Strange in the same place, but still catch Mephisto off-guard. One other thing from that story I like is how offended he gets when Strange suspects Doom's favor will involve helping take over the world, and then Mephisto offers that before offering the soul of Doom's mom. Both times, it isn't that they know Doom's out to take over the world that bugs him. It's that they think he'd need their help to do it.

I like Doom because he's a big character. Even when his actions or motivations are small or petty, he does them in a BIG manner.

Credits! Doom makes his first appearance on the big screen on the cover of Fantastic Four#5, by Jack Kirby (penciler), Joe Sinnot (inker), Stan Goldberg (colorist), Artie Simek (letterer). Spider-Man's having a worse day than usual in Amazing Spider-Man #350, by David Michelinie (writer), Erik Larsen (penciler), Randy Emberlin (inker), Bob Sharen (colorist), Rick Parker (letterer). Elephants could learn a few things about never forgetting from DOOM in Fantastic Four #350, by Walt Simonson (writer/penciler), Al Milgrom (inker), Brad Vancata (colorist), Bill Oakley (letterer). Doom colorfully outlines how outclassed Gwen is in Unbelievable Gwenpool #23, by Christopher Hastings (writer), Irene Strychalski (artist), Rachelle Rosenberg (colorist), Clayton Cowles (letterer). Doom greets death by enjoying caviar in the face of a brassed-off Susan Richards in Fantastic Four vs. the X-Men #4, by Chris Claremont (writer), Jon Bogdanove (penciler), Terry Austin (inker), Glynis Oliver (colorist), Tom Orzechowski (letterer). Mephisto thought Doom would be more impressed with his new home entertainment system in Doctor Strange and Doctor Doom: Triumph and Torment, by Roger Stern (writer), Mike Mignola (penciler), Mark Badger (inker and color artist), Jim Novak (letterer). Doom uses checks because Latverian Express isn't accepted everywhere in Damage Control (vol. 1) #2, by Dwyane McDuffie (writer), Ernie Colon (penciler), Bob Wiacek (inker), John Wellington (colorist), Rick Parker (letterer). Doom could fund the Latverian economy with seminars on announcing your presence with authority based on Avengers and the Infinity Gauntlet #1, by Brian Clevinger and Lee Black (writers), Brian Churilla (artist), Michelle Madsen (color artist), Jeff Powell (letterer).

The Unstoppable Force Meets Doom's Will

I would like to see Dr. Doom have to contend with the Juggernaut. I'd prefer a more classic Doom than the one currently cosplaying as Iron Man, but take what you can get, I suppose.

It doesn't seem hard to bring the two together. Doom's knowledge of magic could lead him to try and take the Ruby of Cytorrak to use as a power source. Which could in turn get him in hot water with Cytorrak himself, leading to some sort of team-up between Doom, the Juggernaut, and Dr. Strange (who doesn't want Earth getting destroyed because Doom went and pissed off an extra-dimensional being).

Or I could see Doom trying to hire or manipulate Juggernaut into attacking someplace. Probably not to acquire something Doom wants, because I doubt he'd trust the Juggernaut not to break it. Plus, even if the authorities couldn't stop Juggernaut, they could follow him pretty easily, and Doom probably wants more plausible deniability. If Doom tries to double-cross Juggy, or blames him for screwing something up, there's the conflict.

The other option was for Juggernaut to simply come barging into Latveria because it happens to be along the most direct line to get to wherever he wants to go. How does Doom handle that? Direct confrontation? A trap? Does he try to divert Juggernaut, convince him to take a different route? Would he try to protect his subjects, or would he decide the risk of being humiliated was too great and simply stay home, monitoring the situation? There's a decent argument to be made the best option with Cain Marko is to keep his path clear and not get him riled up. Don't give him an excuse to start smashing through things, and, assuming he's most concerned with getting where he's going, he probably won't start anything to delay himself. On the other hand, if Doom lets this guy just barge into his country, stomp through it as he pleases, and walk right out the other side, that could make him look pretty bad. Not just to the Latverians, but possibly the larger international community. "Doom can't protect his borders," they might whisper.

Although given how often the Fantastic Four come barging in, they might be saying that anyway. But Doom pretty much always makes the attempt to stop the accursed Richards and his allies. Not even trying to might convey a different message.

You could still do a variation on this in his current status, with Doom coming across the Juggernaut (whoever that is at the moment) causing trouble somewhere and stepping in to try and put a halt to it. Is he focusing on protecting innocents in the line of fire, or in confronting the threat? What kind of plan can he come up with to win the day (if he can)? Magic, or science, or money? In the old days, I could see Doom possibly trying to quietly buy Cain Marko off if he was losing the fight (I can't see him resorting to that until after he's started fighting him, even though offering him some money and a ride to the next country would be the quickest, quietest solution).

Heck, maybe Doom can pull it off. If anyone has the combination of will, smarts, and resources to stop the unstoppable, it's Dr. Doom.

If The Ending Didn't Surprise, At Least It Did End

I got a chance to read the final issue of Secret Wars last week (I guess there will be spoilers, if you care). So hey, it's finally over. I'm not sure it even matters at this point. Hickman and Ribic dicked around and took so long finishing it that the rest of the Marvel Universe has moved on to deal with the fallout.

Which feels appropriate. My general impression of Hickman's Avengers run was things did happen, but off-panel. A lot of characters sitting around talking about what they had done, and hey, here's a bit of a flashback so you can see bits and pieces. Hank Pym takes a trip through the Multiverse for months to find out why universes are dying, we don't accompany him, we just find out about it secondhand once he gets back.

So with "All-New, All-Different" Marvel already going for over three months now, Secret Wars is kind of reduced to another flashback. We know Miles Morales is in the Marvel U. now, and oh yeah, here's Miles getting here. We haven't seen Reed or Sue, here's where they ended up. It makes for a bit of an anti-climax, but between the Merry Marvel Hype Machine, and the endless series of Big Events (and my own desire for the whole thing to just be done already), maybe that was always going to be the case. It was never going to end everything, obviously, and it couldn't change things too much from what Marvel deems most profitable either. So, shuffle a few of the deck chairs and hope for the best?

On the positive side for me, there were a few interesting mini-series, and I was able to read them and largely ignore the event itself. That was nice. On the downside, there was the mass canceling of all their ongoing series. Some of them only for a couple of months, but I still resent that I didn't get to read those books those months because of Secret Wars. I have no idea whether that's Hickman's fault. It really feels more like a decision made by the higher-ups, but at the same time, Hickman apparently wanted to write a story where he ended the Marvel Universe, so maybe he expected them to shut the regular books down to go along with that. I don't know. Whether it's on him or not, it was another level of annoying, even beyond the usual irritation that comes with your favorite titles doing event tie-in issues. At least with those, you still have the creative team you like (presumably), working on the characters you like, and hopefully they can spin something good out of the whole mess. Not as much of an option here. Even as few Marvel books as I was buying during the middle of last year, I'd say they still cost themselves some of my dollars, just because I bought even fewer of the mini-series.

I've watched the series with a bit of curiosity because of the fact that Doom did outdo Reed early on. Doom was able to attack the beings destroying universes (with the aid of Molecule Man and Dr. Strange) and defeat them, and saved millions of lives. The best Reed and his Illuminati buddies could come up with was some little lifeboats to save a few thousand people, and they couldn't even manage that right. Of course, once Reed and Doom get down to it at the end, it turns into Reed talking shit about how he'd have done it better than Victor, because he wouldn't have tried to grasp the power so tightly and keep it all consolidated (because Reed shares all his inventions with the whole world, like intergalactic space travel), and blah, blah, blah.

Some of that's my antipathy towards Reed Richards. Kelvin Green observed once that Reed is somehow exempt from that peculiar quirk of the Marvel Universe where arrogance is punished. If Spider-Man decides stopping a burglar isn't worth his time, that burglar will kill his Uncle Ben. If Victor von Doom refuses to listen when Reed says there's a mistake in his calculations, it will blow up in his face. But when Reed refuses to listen to those who say his spaceship needs more testing on its protective shielding, it's his friend who is turned into the orange rock monster. It's the same basic error -a belief he can't possibly be wrong - but he doesn't get hammered for it the way seemingly anyone else would*. The man calls himself Mr. Fantastic, and the Living Tribunal (or whatever physical representation you want to assign such acts to) looks and says, "I'll allow it."

I understand that if Doom is the bad guy - and I guess he is, because he built a world with a lot of unnecessary hazards in it, and expcts everyone to worship him - Reed is the person you bring in to confront him. But at the end of the day, it feels like Doom and Molecule Man did most of the hard work, and here comes Reed Richards to try and play the Big Man who is going to do things right (although it's still going to come down to Owen and I guess Franklin, since he's the one with the power).

I think I'd have rather seen Reed keep goading Doom, and Victor does it himself, just to prove Richards is wrong. "You believe I cannot create, that I cannot send the majesty of Doom out to a thousand new universes? Behold your folly, Richards!" Instead it's Doom admitting Reed is better than him and relinquishing the power, and Reed working with his kid and Molecule Man to create new universes. Reed wins again, even if I'm not sure he deserves it, but what else is new? Reed is like Gladstone Gander, Donald Duck's lucky cousin, the one stuff always works out for, whether it ought to or not.

Anyway, the thing is over and done. I should just be happy about that.

* And at least Doom could have argued a) he was still just a college kid, and b) he was building a device to communicate with a soul in Hell, which is probably not a field with a lot of earlier work to use as a stepping stone, and c) he was doing so to talk to his mother, which had to put some strain on him. Reed can't really use any of those arguments, he just wouldn't accept he was not correct about something.

I Didn't Even Touch On Apocalypse Or Kang's Effect On Ancient Egypt

One problem with the next Captain America movie being Civil War is there are lots of posts about it on Gawker and Uproxx sites, and those usually discuss the mini-series, and there are a more than a few of the writers - and a lot of the commenters - who are very pro-registration. Relax, I'm not doing another post on why that's stupid. Yet. This is actually an attempt to divert my brain onto a more interesting path.

I was thinking about how the registration thing is often presented as what would happen in our world, and how the Marvel Universe was meant to resemble our world, just with superheroes. The counter to that - as mentioned many times by many people other than me long before now - is that the Marvel Universe has a dozen things in it that really ought to have changed it to an extent we wouldn't recognize it. Pym Particles, Asgardians, Adamantium, Skrulls, time travel, Galactus, magic, mutants, on and on. Then I started thinking about differences in a socio-political sense, which got me thinking about how history on Earth-616 really ought to be different.

The one that really got me thinking about this was Latveria. Tiny Eastern European nation, but undeniably a world power, probably with a pretty high standard of living (but also a probably poor human rights' track record), and one of the most technologically advanced (certainly its military) nations in the world. You'd have to think Latveria tries to be a leader in any kind of worldwide agreements (be it about pollution, economic agreements, etc.) simply because Doom's ego wouldn't allow him to not try and take charge. And he has the brilliance and the resources that he couldn't be easily dismissed, no matter how awful he can be. I know in Doom's origin as originally conceived, it's run by a brutal, repressive, racist monarch (he's trying to expel/kill all the Romany, including Doom's family), until Doom comes back for revenge/liberation and seizes control.

But given when that was taking place, Doom almost certainly had to stave off the Soviets. Actually, it's probably likely Latveria was conquered by Germany during World War 2, then taken by the Soviets, and the monarch was either replaced, or made a puppet ruler of a Warsaw Pact nation. Doom comes in, takes over, ousts the Soviets. I'd imagine he had to fend off one attempt by the Red Army to retake the country. I say one, because I feel if they'd tried twice, Doom would have said "Enough of this foolishness!" and just started conquering the Soviet Union until they said uncle. I would imagine Doombots are weatherproof, so relying on "the worst winter in X years" as a stall tactic probably wouldn't work.

This all lead me to wonder what U.S. diplomatic relations with Latveria were like. I know the Fantastic Four were often on shaky ground to try striking back at Doom after his latest revenge attempt, because he was recognized as ruler of a country, but I don't know how friendly Latveria and the U.S. were. I'm sure his resistance to the Soviets would be something the U.S. would have enjoyed, and Doom probably wouldn't be the worst dictator the United States ever threw in with, but I can't see why he'd bother. He wouldn't want ideas about democracy and freedom infecting his populace, and he's generally presented as being scornful of American waste, pollution, and excess. Though I could see him playing the U.S. and USSR against each other.

I feel like Marvel traditionally addressed this by having the more unusual countries opt for isolation until recently. Atlantis, Wakanda, Attilan, they all mostly kept to themselves for centuries, I think, although I know Hudlin's Black Panther run showed Wakanda easily thrashed at least one 19th Century attempt at European imperialism.That at least accounts for world history not being vastly different at the start point of the story. But since superhero creative teams are rarely interested in writing entirely isolationist countries, even if they are into castle intrigue, the fictional countries inevitably become more involved in the wider world. With Atlantis, this has frequently taken the direction of Namor declaring war on the surface world. T'Challa is usually more diplomatic, but it also tends to be him interacting, while Wakanda remains aloof. I feel like Wakanda usually still withholds some of its advances, understandably in many cases.

Obviously part of all this is because the writers and artists aren't looking to deviate too much from our world. So if Wakanda develops a cheap, clean antigravity drive people could easily purchase for personal vehicles as well as large-scale shipping, they doesn't get implemented for one reason or the other. It's shift things too far from where the creative team (or their bosses) want things to be. So Cable establishes his own floating, artificial island, which welcomes everyone from any side of life, so they can collaborate and hopefully show how things can be, but it doesn't really get to change things in a way we can see. Instead we see the ways vested interests try to undermine it and if possible, wreck the whole thing.

Which I suppose could be an assertion about history in its own way. Certainly the idea already established powers will try to maintain their position on top by knocking down any up and comers isn't unusual. Same with the idea that a country can't remain isolated forever, although I don't know if Earth-616 has had the prominent example of the formerly powerful nation that sealed itself off and was passed by the rest of the world's advances, leading to a rude shock. Wakanda kept itself ahead of the rest of the world, and I think the same is true of Attilan. I don't believe Atlantis is shown as being an underdeveloped country, although its environment and the challenges that would present make for different enough circumstances a comparison might be difficult.

I don't have an endgame with these thoughts right now - big surprise! - I just got intrigued by the idea of the State Department approaching Doom with some spiel about being a bulwark against Communism, and Doom being completely uninterested in the transparent attempt to get him to be their puppet.

Is Time Travel Treasure Hunting A Viable Economic Strategy?

Are there people in Latveria living below the poverty line?

I saw scans of some fairly recent comic online where some - Loki? Magneto? - was in Latveria and made a comment to the effect nobody there would be living in poverty if Doom would stop focusing on. . . something. I forget what. Weapons, or destroying Reed Richards, most likely.

That seemed off to me. Mostly because I can't picture Doom allowing anyone to be homeless, starving, or generally struggling to get by in his country. If one was charitable, they could argue it was because Doom remembers some of the rough times his family experienced in his childhood, under the former monarch. It's more probable though, that he wouldn't allow it because it would make him look bad. He wants Latveria to look like a model country, which to him probably means peaceful, stable, no serious sickness or malnutrition issues. It would ignore things like freedom, but eh, what do they need freedom for? They have Doom to make all the important decisions for them.

I don't know whether that would manifest as him making certain everyone has employment opportunities at a liveable wage, or if he opts for the approach Switzerland approved not too long ago, where every citizen gets a certain amount of money each year from the government, but they can supplement that with other jobs if they want. I'm guessing the former. I imagine Doom employs a lot of people as spies among his own citizenry (to say nothing of in the military), even though he has electronic means to accomplish the same thing.

Although how the people of Latveria are portrayed varies on the writer. A lot of times they're shown as living in constant fear, afraid to say almost anything, always looking over their shoulder to see if Doom is listening. But other times, they're shown as truly loving Doom, because at least they know they're safe from the bigger, aggressive nations that surround them. Also, I'd assume famine and plagues are not going to be an issue, again, because I can't see Doom allowing his country to be plagued with problems like that, lest outsiders believe he can't solve them. I know when it appeared Doom had died and taken Richards with him in DeFalco's FF run, the citizens started pelting the FF with rocks, yelling about how they were destined to be conquered without him. On the scale of "freedom versus security", Latveria rarely has much of the former, but it's variable how much they regret that.

I'd also guess there aren't a lot of people in jail, mostly because I can't imagine anyone stupid enough to think committing a crime in Dr. Doom's country. Yeah, I'm going to rob a liquor store in a country with an army of something called "Doombots". Probably a fair number of political prisoners, but I might not be giving Doom enough credit. In the 2099 universe, there was a stretch where Doom became President of the United States (couldn't be worse than having it run by Alchemax and the other mega-corporations). At one point Spider-Man 2099 sees some of Doom's soldiers rousting some guys protesting Doom (the protesters also worship Spider-Man). Miguel intervenes, then Doom appears and says it's fine if they protest, peacefully, even arranges so they have an exclusive permit to do so. So when the protestors show up at the approved time, all the bystanders are musing what a swell guy Doom is to let them bad mouth him that way, and what's their problem? He pulled the floor right out from under them, but maybe that comes with an additional century of experience.

A Lot Of Rambling About Acts Of Vengeance

I'm in one of those odd writing moods where I have three or four ideas for posts, but none of them feel quite ready to go. For two of them, I'm waiting for the next batch of comics so I can see how a couple of things play out. The others, I'm just not feeling like they're ready.

I spent most of last night flipping through all the Acts of Vengeance tie-in stuff. I have pretty much everything, save the X-Factor issues, which didn't seem necessary. The team itself is off-world throughout, so the tie-in is limited to Apocalypse mulling over whether to join Loki's little roundtable. Since I know he declined, it didn't seem worth the trouble.

I had read something of Tim O'Neil's from 2012, relating to how much of a disaster Avengers vs. X-Men was in terms of logical progression or coherence, and he brought up Acts of Vengeance as a comparison for how there used to at least be a minimum amount of care given to making sure the pieces fit. He mentions used to have a reading order mapped out for the whole thing, which sounded like the sort of odd time-consuming exercise I might enjoy. That was one of my projects two summers ago, pick up all the AoV tie-ins I didn't already have, but I hadn't gotten around to trying to figure out an order until last night.

It's early stages for me yet, so I'm not sure how it's going. I currently have no idea where the X-books (Uncanny and Wolverine) fit relative to everything else. Wolverine precedes Uncanny X-Men for sure, but past that. . .

It is strange to see the Mandarin in that weird blue armor he rocks for most of the crossover, then to see Jim Lee slap him in a suit about half the time during the Uncanny arc. I think he looks better in the suit myself.

I don't understand how Iron Man #250 can come after the whole thing had started, considering Doom doesn't give any indication he's part of some group. You'd think Loki might notice when Doom is magically whisked away to the future by Merlin.

I know Doom wonders why he has to work with a common gangster like the Kingpin, but the guy who felt most out of place to me was the Wizard. Kingpin can at least say he's an archfoe for Daredevil and the Punisher, and as he noted, he's the closest thing to a Spider-Man arch-enemy of the bunch. Mandarin's an Iron Man foe, Red Skull for Captain America, Doom for the FF, Magneto for the X-Men, Loki for Thor/Avengers (even if they don't realize he's there). The Wizard's smart, sure, but I had a hard time buying him as a topflight villain. He tries, but it's never really panned out. I think the Leader might have served better, as a Hulk arch-enemy, but this was the Joe Fixit era, when the Hulk was allegedly dead (though Doom clearly knows better), so maybe that's it. The Jester made an offer to the Leader, but he sent one of his lackeys instead, so I guess he had better stuff to worry about. The Wizard has spent more time networking with lesser villains than the others, so perhaps Loki thought that would help.

The order of the Spider-books among themselves isn't difficult. Amazing, Spectacular, Web, starts with Amazing #326, ends with Amazing #329, which comes after the big Avengers vs. Loki showdown in Avengers West Coast #55. I've had all the Spider-Man issues for years. Cosmic Spider-Man is one of my favorite stories ever. watching him struggle with the new powers, with the question of what he ought to be doing with them. And the idea that after years of being the guy who always winds up in fights where he's punching way out of his weight class, now he's the guy everyone else is overmatched against. Him uppercutting the Hulk into orbit is something I always enjoy reading, at least in part because Joe Fixit Hulk is such an ass he needs to be knocked down a peg.

It's kind of interesting to see which of the lesser villains pop up in more than one book. Most of them are among the third-raters that get trashed by the FF in their crossover. Hydro Man, Owl, Shocker, Orka, Whirlwind. The last two oddly, were a couple of the villains that didn't seem to make a successful escape from the Vault at the start of the whole thing, while the Owl fled for Canada at some point (naturally running smack dab into Alpha Flight). Shocker gets dropped by Spidey alongside Rhino as a warm-up to Doom sending TESS-One after him. Hydro Man winds up in a team led by the Jester, and attacks the Avengers at a town hall meeting the heroes are using to try and address public concern about heroes. There's a whole backdrop to Acts of Vengeance about a Super-Hero Registration Act - which the FF were called to testify about, and which Reed Richards spoke against, in stark contrast to his behavior in Civil War, in case you needed reminding the latter story was a pile of burning garbage. If you were trying to forget Civil War ever happened, sorry.

Maybe the trick is not to take the Fantastic Four issues seriously. Simonson was clearly having some fun with it, because Doom ends up picking the FF's foes. The trick is, he uses a device that compels all these loser, second-rate villains to attack, when they have no hope of winning. Half the time, the baddies don't even reach the heroes, they get taken out by the security system or each other. Which is the point. Dr. Doom is damned if he's going to let anyone else kill the accursed 4, so no Ultron, or the Wrecking Crew or whatever for them, no sir.

It's also neat to see how the different lower-tier villains get into it. Some of the are approached directly by one of the roundtable guys. Web of Spider-Man and Spectacular, are Doom and the Wizard setting up different guys to go after Spidey (Doom's mostly trying to get a sample of that cosmic energy). Oddly enough, in Amazing Spider-Man, most of the threat comes from Sebastian Shaw, who isn't even part of the group, but is approached about killing Spidey in exchange for the death of the X-Men, and also had a Sentinel project going (and ultimately, Loki fuses all the Sentinels together to destroy a nuclear plant and that's why Spidey got the cosmic powers). Some of them get suckered into it (the U-Foes and Mole Man both go after the West Coast Avengers because they think the Whackos attacked them first), or dropped in with no idea what's going on. Loki basically blinks the Juggernaut out of an English prison and dumps him in New York. Juggy has no idea how it happened or why, but he's fine with smashing stuff until the reason becomes clear. And that's how we got the New Warriors, which is why Acts of Vengeance is the greatest Marvel event thing ever.

Then there are villains no one approached, they decided to get in on it all on their own. New Mutants has a whole bit about Vulture being pissed no one thinks he's worth using, except as a dope to free Nitro so he can wreak havoc. Then Nitro goes and gets punked by Skids, for pete's sake. Moon Knight runs afoul of Killer Shrike and Coachwhip, both of whom spend the entire fight bemoaning the fact they couldn't find anyone better to kill. Which is pretty funny coming from a couple of losers like them. Coachwhip was second-rate even among the Serpent Society, who are hardly the Masters of Evil when it comes to super-villain groups. The first time I ever saw Killer Shrike, he was attacking Spider-Man, believing the Webhead had been sent to get him by some mysterious group, only for Spidey to take him down in three pages, sighing internally the whole time how tired he was of fighting the same foes over and over.

One thing that was kind of nifty was only one guy figured out who was behind everything from the start, and it was the Mad Thinker. Loki - in his role as a mysterious benefactor - offered the guy an escape from jail, and spot on the team, but the Thinker turned him down. Saw a high likelihood of failure, and immediately surmised who he was talking to. It makes a bit of sense the heroes would have so much trouble figuring it out. Even when they can catch one of the people who attacks them, assuming it's one who was directly approached, that person was approached by one of the roundtable. Loki somehow managed to play to all their egos simultaneously, making them all believe it was really each guy's idea, and he was merely a lackey helping them out. Which has the benefit of keeping him in the background, and the heroes chasing after the other guys, not realizing that Doom attacking the Punisher, or the Brothers Grimm attacking Spider-Man are all part of the same plan, hatched by the same person.

I don't know, it'll be a process, but it's been fun to go back and reread the books. A lot of them I hadn't read since right after I bought them. But a lot of them have a tone that suggests the creators know this is a little silly, but they're having a good time with it. Quasar, for example, treats some of the threats as serious, Absorbing Man with the power of the Quantum Bands, but it doesn't insult your intelligence by treating Venom like a real threat to Wendell Vaughn. They put him on the cover, possibly as a joking sales boost thing, and Quasar takes him out in the first two pages, then goes on to have slightly greater trouble with Klaw, before getting stuck chasing the Living Laser into the Watcher's digs, only to get sidetracked by the Red Ghost. None of these guys are really on Quasar's level, but he's trying to be polite and careful, and each villain keeps popping up to attack while he's preoccupied with the previous one, so he only ends up with one by the end of the whole thing.

In most cases, the ongoing plotlines are treated as being more serious, and these attacks by unfamiliar super-villains are intrusions that highlight those problems. The Avengers are scattered and preoccupied with their own problems, so no one can show up to defend the Hydrobase, or they have to fight Freedom Force with a bunch of people unaccustomed to working together. Having Cosmic Power amplifies Spidey's usual concerns about power and responsibility. Daredevil's trying to figure out what the hell's gone wrong with his life, whether the problem is that he doesn't want to care about others, or that he still does. And here comes an Ultron who can't reconcile all the different views in its mind, it's issues as creator and created, which makes it a danger to itself and others. The X-Men are scattered, which makes Psylocke easy prey for the Hand and Mandarin, and Logan still hasn't recovered from the thrashing Lady Deathstrike and the Reavers gave him. And everyone else thinks they're dead, so no one's on the lookout to see if they're in trouble.

Some of the stories work better than others, some of the art is much stronger, but it really does hold together pretty well. There's a common sense of the heroes being caught flatfooted by it all, and struggling to figure out what's happening. Meanwhile, there's tons of property damage (since Damage Control has been purchased by entities that gutted its effectiveness in their own mini-series). That the damage isn't being rapidly fixed, raises public concern, which plays into the whole arc about the Registration Act. Most critically, the creative teams are able to, as I mentioned above, use the thing as part of their ongoing plots. The stories they were telling don't come screeching to a halt for the duration. They keep moving in the background (like Immortus' plans for the Scarlet Witch), or they stay in the foreground and absorb the event into them. Which is not something I feel a lot of books these days can manage. Some writers can (bringing up Civil War again, I still contend Nicieza on Cable/Deadpool, and Peter David on X-Factor did just fine using it, without letting the stories they wanted to tell be derailed).

At Least Try 30th Century Hair Restoration Products!

Has Lex Luthor ever traveled to the 30th Century (or is it the 31st Century now)? The episode of Superman: The Animated Series with the Legion of Superheroes was on last night. Saturn Girl was showing a teenage Clark Kent how the future is this wonderful place, thanks to Superman.

All I could think was, "Boy, that would burn Luthor up if he found out." Then I had to wonder whether he had been there or not. I figure if anyone in the present day in the DC Universe could build a time machine, it'd be Lex, but that doesn't mean he would.

Not that I think he'd have any scruples about jumping ahead to see where things are going, either to alter the course of history, or take advantage of it. But he might see it as not worth the resources, since most of what he learned will be rendered obsolete after the first move he makes changes things. Though I suppose one move ought to be enough for Luthor.

It might be interesting to see Luthor's reaction to his legacy, and Superman's, a thousand years on. Would he dismiss it, or actually change his approach? Knowing Lex, though, "change his approach" would mean ignoring any attempts at running a real business, and going back to 100% focus on killing Superman, and destroying his reputation. "If I can't be remembered as the savior of mankind, neither can you!"

It put me in mind of Dwayne McDuffie's last story on Fantastic Four, when a Doom from the future shows up. First he starts off claiming Richards destroyed the world, but eventually he admits Reed's made it a paradise, and Doom is just super jealous. The part where he finally admits how well off the world is, and you can just tell it kills him to admit it.

Of course, that's difference between Doom and Lex. Doom will admit it if Reed does something right, he just thinks he could do better (and Reed found a universe where he was dead and sent Doom there, basically saying, "Prove it."). I don't Lex would ever give Superman credit. He's wrapped so much up in how Superman is wrecking humanity, he'd never admit Supes did something right.

Is The Doom You Don't See Worse Than The Doom You Do?

In Avengers and the Infinity Gauntlet, what do you think the real Dr. Doom was up to while his robot duplicate was facing Thanos?

The case the robot was kept in said 'In case of global crisis wherein the real Doctor Doom is indisposed, break glass.' That suggests Doom was off exploring other dimensions and/or realities, as Walt Simonson's Fantastic Four run suggested Doom frequently did. However, Doom himself said he created it in the event something happens that's so dire that one Dr. Doom isn't enough.

Which first off, that's quite a bold admission for Doom, that a problem might exist he couldn't handle it alone. Secondly, it suggests the real Dr. Doom didn't have to be off Earth for the robot to be active. Doom said in the first issue that the heroes could either let him join their mission, or he would 'have no choice but to impose my order upon this world to save it. There are not enough super heroes left to stop me and deal with this disaster.'

So I'm thinking that Doom sent his robot duplicate to help the heroes, then went ahead and started taking control over parts of Earth. Quietly, though. The heroes think he's off in space helping them. The only guy on the planet possibly smart enough to recognize Doom's hand in certain outcomes would have been Reed, and he was one of the people lost with Thanos' first strike. As long as Doom doesn't do anything loud or showy, he can making significant gains, undetected. Which leaves him in a better situation after the heroes and his robot set things right.

Except it seems like Doom would have preferred to seek out a power as great as the Infinity Gems himself, leaving the covert conquering to his false self. But I imagine Doom had some failsafe to give him control over the Doombot, in the event it returned with great power, and refused to relinquish it to its master.

There's More Than One Way To Enter A Room Impressively

Over here we see a panel from Avengers and the Infinity Gauntlet #1 (written by Brian Clevinger and Lee Black, drawn by Brian Churilla, colored by Michelle Madsen). As you might guess, it relates to how Dr. Doom enters a room versus the rest of us. Doom's preferred method is to blast through a wall and proclaim 'Behold the grim visage of Dr. Doom!'

This is my favorite sequence from the issue (though not my favorite panel*), because Doom of course is not at fault for the fight that just ended, and naturally he has to do things with a dramatic flair. And he refers to himself in the third person, which works so well for Dr. Doom.

I do think he's downplaying the effectiveness of entering through doors. Sure, peasants enter rooms through doors, but they have to open the door themselves. Doom must have people lining up to open doors for him, so he never needs to break his stride. Or, he could walk up and force the door open with some device in his gauntlet, so it would slam impressively against the wall, alerting everyone to his presence. Perhaps an intangibility unit, so he can simply walk through the door. Add some optional noisemaker** that sounds when he deactivates the intangibility device so all will be aware he's entered the room. Or, Doom could make everyone come to him. Rather than entering a room at all, send a transmission demanding everyone else come to where he stands (or sits). Dr. Doom should not have to deign to visit people when he plans to give them orders, they should hurry to visit him, and bask in his regal presence, naturally.

I do think the blasting a hole in the wall beats my ideas (though I'm fond of making them come to him), but you can always stand to mix things up. That way people don't grow expectant of Dr. Doom blasting holes in their walls, and remain suitably stunned by his entrances.

* That would be Red Skull fading out of existence in front of his HYDRA lackeys, a combination of terror and surprise on his face, and that of the nearest HYDRA guy. I probably only find it comical because it's the Red Skull, and it's fun to see him being wiped from existence on the whim of some being more powerful than the Skull can even comprehend. It's nothing personal against the Skull, he's just another poor sap in Thanos' universe.

** I'm thinking the sounds of trumpets or horns blaring, the way they do in medieval flicks when the King enters a room. Or a piece of music Doom particularly enjoys. Do you think Doom composes his own music? That would be something he could trump Richards over. There's no way I buy Reed as having musical talent.

Who Opposes Someone With That Much Power?

The Sphinx is back in Nova's life, except he's actually demanding Nova's help this time. Whatever it is the Sphinx wants to do, someone is trying to stop him, and they're powerful enough (or have sufficient resources) to force him to call in help.

Who is it?

The Sphinx described what was going on as a contest of the gods, which as Reed Richards noted, might suggest he's battling Egyptian deities. That could be interesting, since that's not a realm of theology I can recall Marvel including much. There's Khonshu, of course, acting through Moon Knight*, and being otherwise mysterious in what it wants. Then there's Seth, the Serpent God of Death, who's the polar opposite, running around actively killing people, either with his own hands, or through his huge armies. Beyond that, I don't know of many of them being particularly active, though it won't surprise me if you tell me that Pak and van Lente used some others in Incredible Hercules**. Abnett and Lanning taking the opportunity to get a few more of them involved would be appropriate as well, if they really are setting things up for the Marvel Universe to be threatened by a universe on the other side of the Fault that's been conquered by honest to mind-shattering evilness Lovecraftian horrors.

However, I'm not sure it truly is a contest of gods. The Sphinx has a strong technological base for his power, another thing Richards noted when he mentioned the chronal accelerator. He further described the Sphinx as a would-be time architect on par with Kang or Immortus***. If the Sphinx wanted to alter things in his favor, it might stand to reason that Kang would intervene, right? He might do it as Rama-Tut, since that would fit with the Egyptian motif, and dueling with a time traveler would perhaps explain drawing people from different times to settle it. Or it's Adam Magus, since solicitations suggest he isn't dead (or there are 2 of them and the other one is in that damn cocoon thats been driving me nuts for the last year). That would satisfy my desire for a Kang/Magus/Sphinx mega-war, with all manner of related heroes caught in the middle.

Or maybe it's Dr. Doom. He's fed up with all this stupid bullcrap with Osborn, the Hood, Loki, Osborn's myserious attack dog. He sees the writing on the wall, that the "heroes" will triumph again, so why not take a trip into space, mop the floor with that Ka Stone wielding fool that might attempt to rewrite reality. Only Doom gets to do that, thank you very much! The nice part about that would be that it means the Sphinx picked Reed Richards solely just to tweak Doom a bit. Get the good Doctor focusing on Richards rather than vanquishing the Sphinx.

Yeah, long shot, I know. It was fun to consider, though.

* Or maybe Hawkeye, if you think Khonshu manipulated events in that West Coast Avengers story so Hawkeye would make the weapons Moon Knight would eventually use.

** Which doesn't mean you shouldn't tell me, 'cause I don't know for sure, just that it's something I would expect.

*** Why mention them separately? Doesn't Kang become Immortus eventually? Don't tell me they changed that, it was the one thing I was actually sure of about Kang's timeline, with all the Rama Tuts, and Iron Lads and such.

What's Going On With You, Calvin?

So what’s the deal with that post on Monday? {What do you mean?} You were talking about how great Dr. Doom is. {So, he is pretty smart, and I figured he could find a way to use all those rings.} Are you under mind control? {No.} You’re a robot, aren’t you? {No!} I don’t believe you *leaps off table, bites Calvin’s hand* {*Calvin’s hand begins bleeding* Bloody hell, that hurt!} Oh, sorry. I guess you aren’t a robot. {No, I’m not a robot I told you that already!} Then why all the kind words about Doom? {I was just trying to look at it from Doom's point of view, and Doom feels he can accomplish anything.} But he’s evil! {Where did I say he wasn’t? I said what he believes to be the truth, but that doesn’t mean it is, right?} Right. {So we can move on? We’ve got a lot of books here.}

I’d like to, but I’m confused about which Mayday I’m supposed to hug and which needs to get hit. {I think they’re both victims here, so I’d go with a hug for each.} OK, Hugs for both. Wait, that one May threw Gene Thompson around in front of everybody. {You’re right, better give her some applause too.} OK, Applause for that May. Arana needs a Bonk. {Manipulating someone under the pretext of helping them? Yeah.} Mammoth needs a Hug, because he got hit a lot by the Secret Six, and he was trying to be a good prisoner. {Just be careful he doesn’t crush you by accident.} Eep. Bane gets Applause, because he wants to help Scandal with her problems. {If you say so.}

Deadpool gets Applause for teaching those Skrulls a lesson, and for not letting Nick Fury boss him around. Maybe Fury should get a bonk. {Naw, give Fury a break. He’s in extended nicotine withdrawl.} *ABP looks around* {What’s wrong?} I figured Wade would show up when we started talking about him. {Don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll show up at the worst possible moment, or the best, depending on one’s desire for drama and conflict.} Everybody on the Outsiders gets a Hug. They were just starting to get together, and now they broke apart. It’s sad. So a Bonk for the Black Glove. {Works for me.} You’re not going to tell me to be careful? {Nah, Black Glove, whoever it is, is a sod. They’ve got it coming. And you’re black and white, so this whole “black and red” thing won’t bother you. Just stay away from the Joker.}

*door swings open grandly*

Oh, there’s Wade now. Dr. Doom, ruler of Latveria, would have words with the two of you. {Oh goody.} I have monitored your conversation, and I am displeased with your *points at ABP* description of me as evil. Doom is not evil, as I merely do what is in the best interests of the world. Cease your typing. Doom does not approve of the design given to his words. Alter the font to something more befitting my vocalizations. Hey, this is Calvin’s blog, you can’t just - {Easy. Let’s accommodate him. I was considering different fonts as a way to distinguish between our growing cast of recurring characters anyway. Try it now.} This is more appropriate. Little bear, you would do well to recognize Doom’s magnificence. How magnificent can you be? The Fantastic Four kick your butt every time! Even Dazzler beat you! {Oh great. Bring Dazzler up. Now we’re sure to die.} That was not Doom. That was a pretender to the majesty of Doom. Doom would certainly never fight Ms. Blaire, as he has a great respect for musicians. As to the Fantastic Four, Richards and his family have never defeated me. I have merely withdrawn from the field of battle to pursue more advantageous avenues. Sounds like excuses to me. You are quite impertinent. *Doom raises his gauntlet, which begins to glow* {If I may interject, Lord Doom, here, ABP has the right to say what he pleases, same as me, same as you. You are free to rebut, but no violence. ABP is a diplomat, just as you are. If you’d like you two can step over there and hash this out, while I try and finish this up.} You are correct. It would be rash of one of my personage to resort to violence, when this child is still young enough to learn of my plans for this world. Come, you and Doom shall converse.

*Door explodes off hinges, slamming into Doom and driving him into the opposite wall*

[Whassup! Would have been here sooner, but I hadn’t seen my fly ladies in so long, had to give them proper attention, you know what I’m saying? What am I talking about, you’re a baby panda and a comic reader, you’ve got no clue what I’m talking about! Wait, do I know what I’m talking about?] {Thanks a lot Wade! Doom just agreed to talk peaceably, now he’ll destroy us all.} *Door falls to the ground* No, the only one who shall be destroyed is the gibbering buffoon. [Eep.] I shall provide a swifter death than you deserve, speck. {Hold it. All fighting happens outdoors. I am not having a repeat of the destruction of my property that came with the Flying Castle Caper! And given Wade's healing factor, the power you'd have to bring to bear to kill him swiftly would probably destroy all my stuff, and the little panda here. That'd be a diplomatic incident for certain.} Very well. In light of that, Doom will agree to battle outside, where he may unleash a properly devastating attack. Clown, know that upon your death, Doom will use your physiology to develop cures for all the world's physical maladies. *Doom strides by Deadpool. Deadpool begins to draw a gun. Calvin glares at Deadpool, and shakes his head. Deadpool reholsters the gun sadly*

{We’re never gonna finish at this rate, and it’s all your fault. Just had to go and criticize Doom.} I’m sorry! Can I make it up to you? {Bonk Norman Osborn twice. Once for the Spider-Girl stuff, and once for messing with Deadpool.} Deal, Bonks for Norman *explosions outside* What about everybody’s cars? {Eh, mine’s parked somewhere else, everyone else is S.O.L.} Bonk for Starlord. Messing with people’s minds is not cool. I can’t decide whether to bonk Drax or applaud him. {Do both. Or neither, whichever floats your boat. I doubt he cares either way. Applaud Cosmo though. He really was a good dog after all.} Applause for Cosmo, Applause for Drax. I think Gamora needs a Hug, because she still looks all messed up. Frenchie needs a Hug too. {Oh definitely.} Should I bonk Venom? {I don’t think he’s done anything to merit it this month. However, it’s Norman Osborn’s fault Frenchie is sad, so you could hit Norman a third time.} That might give him brain damage! {I’m willing to take that risk. Besides, he’s evil. Remember how you feel about evil?} You’re right, another Bonk for Norman!

*Deadpool leaps back into the room through the doorway, looking not so much the worse for wear*

[Aw yeah, who’s the man? I killed Dr. Doom!] Doombot. {Totally a Doombot.} [What? No! It was the real Doom!] He didn’t smell organic at all. {He couldn’t turn his head, either. Everyone knows Doombots can’t turn their heads.} [Story of my life.] {Hey, don’t be down. Killing a Doombot is still pretty good. How’d you pull that off?} [Grenade boomerang I bought online. It was from the estate sale of some guy they were calling Boomerbutt. I guess that explains why Doom turned his entire body to follow it.] If he followed it, how did it beat him? [While he was tracking that, I hit him with one of the cars out there. Knocked him right into the boomerang’s path.] {Just came up with that on the fly, huh?} [Yeah, it's great when people trust their fellow man enough they leave their keys in their cars. Maroons. Now can I get a little applause?] I already did that, before you or Doom got here. [And I missed it? Aw, can you do it again?] I don’t think so. My arms are pretty tired. {Don’t feel bad, Wade. I’ve got some mini corn dogs if you’d like.} [Mini corn dogs? Woohoo! Pop a funnel in my mouth and pour them in!]

{Editor's note: I started this post in a wordprocessing document and I had different fonts for everybody, including one I think was a bit more regal, yet elegant for Doom, plus one in cursive for Wade, since I figured if everyone else was thinking and speaking in print letters, Wade would be different. Unfortunately, the fonts didn't carry over when I copied it, so you've got the stripped down, crappy, version. I'll try harder next time. Sorry.}

Gotta Collect All Those Rings!

No, it's not a Sonic the Hedgehog game review, though now I wish I'd used that as a title for one of those that I did do. No time for useless self-recriminations, though, we've got to move forward! First, thanks to the commenters in yesterday's post for their help. That shed a bit more light on the series, and I appreciate that.

When I was considering possible explanations for how Despero got so big, it occurred to me that he could probably snag himself some of those nice rings that are popping up all throughout the DCU now. I know, he's busy with Trinity, but he's a determined chap, I'm sure he could multi-task if he felt like it. Offhand, I figured he could use a Green Lantern ring, since he has the willpower to keep his molecules from completely dispersing. He's big on hate, so that gives him a shot at being a Red Lantern, and I imagine a Sinestro Corps ring would come most naturally to him. I figure "love", "compassion", and "hope" would be beyond him. Is the key to being a Black lantern that you are dead, or that you have the ability to create death? If it's the latter, then I guess you could pencil him in for that too. He's a conquerer, so that would probably let him use the orange one (that's greed, right?). Planet conquering despots, always wantin' more *shakes head sadly*. So that covers all colors I know of. 5 of 8, not too shabby for Hulk-Despero.

For some reason, my thoughts turned to how many Dr. Doom could wield, were he given the opportunity. Actually, the reason my thoughts turned to the Monarch of Latveria is obvious: Because all truly enlightened people think of Doom frequently, for they recognize DOOM is the one to lead the whole world into a better place. Yellow's a given. People fear Doom, though only because they don't understand that Doom only wants to help them, protect them from that Accursed Richards! If they'd just stop being so blinded by Reed Richards' parlor trick science, they'd see the truth. But Doom isn't going to kill them for that, no Doom will keep trying to show the way. The way, to a better world. The better world Doom could create, if only DOOM wasn't stymied by Reed Richards and his family circus. But Doom will keep trying. Doom will perservere. So, that covers hope and compassion. DOOM once faced down the very personification of a universe, and claimed its power, so willpower? Check. Doom loves us all so much, that Doom continues to try and rule the world to make it a better place, even though we show ourselves to be unworthy by rejecting DOOM's gifts. Doom's subjects in Latveria know the truth, and that's why they adore him. That's love, baby. Purple. Doom has faced death many times, and is well aware of its tricks. It holds no secrets to Doom, so the black ring will be readily wielded.

Now rage and greed, those are a bit tougher. Those are failings of the human spirit, and as such, are beneath one such as DOOM. But DOOM understands greed, and knows the damage it can cause, and so will ensure that everyone has enough to sustain them, but not any more than that (except for Dr. Doom, because someone has to keep all the leftover resources) to prevent the opportunity for greed. By defying it, Doom demonstrates control of it. As for rage, DOOM has also moved beyond its paltry grip, but there was a time when your future ruler knew it well. At the time immdeiately after that Accursed Richards! sabotaged Doom's attempts to contact Doom's mother, DOOM understood the appeal of rage. To attack one's foes in a blind fury, and destroy them without consideration of the larger picture. But DOOM is not like lesser beings, and so did not submit to rage. DOOM mastered it, as DOOM masters all things.

Well, that's a perfect 8 out of 8 for the Future Leader of the 616-Universe. Wait, what's that? Sorry, the future leader of All Existence. However, it should be obvious to all that Doom won't wear all those rings, because that much jewelry would be gaudy and ostentatious, and thus beneath DOOM. DOOM'S very presence is sufficient to bring awe and admiration from the masses, he needs no rainbow-colored adornments to impress. Our Wise Liege Doom would obviously conceive of a way to combine all the rings into one single ring, or perhaps some sort of family crest emblem one could wear upon their wrist. Not on the chest, that too is too showy and demanding of attention. On the wrist, so it's there, but not overbearing, certainly not fighting with DOOM's regal presence for control of the room. This will also allow for ease of use, provided one has the intellect of Dr. Doom. Thus only DOOM will be able to utilize it, to protect his grateful subjects.

Use A Grandfather Clause Argument!

As much as I enjoyed seeing Deadpool and Bob interacting with the original Fantastic Four this week, it was missing something. No, not French toast! As Wade noted, the FF always have delicious French toast at the breakfast table (much better than Latverian toast, which is actually just a picture of Dr. Doom reminding his subjects to work hard, and to love their monarch).

No, what it was missing was Reed Richards' pipe. Back in the day, Reed frequently smoked a pipe, a was his right, being a scholar and all. It's as ingrained in him as the idea of wearing tweed jackets with leather patches on the elbow (I don't actually know that Reed wore those, but I'm sure he did). I mean really Marvel, why are you hating on the professors so much? You think all the kids reading Marvel comics (wait, kids are reading these comics?) would jump at the chance to puff on a pipe? Well, that would be kind of cool, and I don't even smoke.

But I believe Nicieza and Brown should have put the pipe in on the basis that even if Reed can't smoke now, he did smoke at that time in his history, and so it's reasonable to assume he was enjoying a smoke when our erstwhile time-travelers popped up on Doom's time-travel platform. Thus, it should not count as a violation of Marvel's (idiotic) "no smoking by the good guys" policy (When is that stupid policy going to be lifted?). We're going for period accuracy here, Marvel overlords! Do you want to disgrace Jack Kirby's memory even more? Do you?

Don't answer that. I'm not in the mood to be depressed. The other possibility is that Nicieza and Brown could have slipped it in simply because I really don't know how much the editors are paying attention, and the book's being canceled in a few months, so they might be paying even less attention than usual. You needed to go for it guys, Joey Q is busy sleeping, I mean, trying to catch up on his One More Day art! Then henhouse is unguarded, I repeat, the henhouse is unguarded!

Say, couldn't Dr. Doom demand Reed return the time machine? It's Doom's time-travel platform after all. I think that would really burn Reed if Doom got the American courts to make Reed return it. Not because Doom needs that one, I'm sure he can make others, just because it would probably piss Reed off to have to present it personally (that would be part of the ruling), and I imagine Doom would make a big deal of it, like Cartman does anytime he wins a bet with Kyle.