Sunday Splash Page #382

"Wedding Party," in New Avengers Annual #1, by Brian Michael Bendis (writer), Olivier Coipel (penciler), Drew Geraci, Drew Hennessy, Livesay, Rick Magyar, Danny Miki, Mark Morales, Mike Perkins, and Tim Townsend (inkers), June Chung, Richard Isanove and Jose Villarrubia (colorists), RS and Albert Deschesne (letterers)

Well, well, well, look what it is. No issues of the ongoing have survived my collection purges over the years, so this book's gonna bear the sins of its brethren. Besides, I did a nearly page-by-page rundown of my reactions to it 19 years ago.

First, Brian Michael Bendis disassembled the Avengers, and I said nothing, because I didn't understand what would follow. Then he re-started the Avengers, except now they were "new." And sure, he added Spider-Woman, Luke Cage, and Wolverine to the roster, which was new, so long as you ignored the long history of characters getting to be Avengers for the first time. Bendis certainly went to that well again and again. Daredevil's an Avenger! Storm's an Avenger! Squirrel Girl! And so on. 

Beyond that? The New Avengers didn't do a hell of a lot of superheroing, I guess that was new. All those characters he added were lucky if they got one storyline to show what they brought to the table before the roster either got reconfigured or they just got lost in the shuffle. Some of that was Marvel's constant stream of Big Events, which produced "changes" that had to be addressed or reflected in the books.

A fair amount, however, was Bendis' glacial pacing. He might get one story done between events, if he was lucky. I guess, left to his own devices, a longform story about a team of superheroes trying to root out threats in the shadows and among themselves, where big, colorful super-villains were a deliberate distraction, might have been interesting. Emphasis on "might."

I also didn't find him very good at showing what characters brought to the table. I'm generally open to writers adding characters they like to the Avengers, as long as the writer shows them being useful. But Bendis stinks at scripting fight scenes, meaning you got stories like "The Collective" where it felt as though he created a threat, then had no clue how to make two-thirds of the roster he built relevant or useful in the conflict. Carol Danvers and the Vision, neither of them on the roster, get more to do than Luke Cage, Spider-Woman, or Captain America.

The book itself opens on a mass breakout from a super-villain prison, the majority of the team's roster being the folks who happened to show up or be present at the time. To be clear, not a bad hook! Captain America deciding he has to get a team together to round up all these escaped criminals, and trusting the people who were willing to jump in and get involved on their own. (Daredevil turns him down at this time, due to the shitshow his life was.) The book pays lip service to the mass breakout, for the first 10 issues. They chased down Electro, Sauron, the Wrecker.

But I think Bendis really wanted to do espionage stuff. The people in the shadows. Secrets. There was a mystery around who orchestrated the breakout, and who they were trying to free. There was a whole thing about how maybe Spider-Woman was a double agent for those people, or maybe she's pretending to be a double agent for those people on behalf of the Avengers. He added a character he created in his Daredevil run (Echo) to the team, under a different identity (Ronin), then had her trying to infiltrate the Hand. I think, or she was just monitoring them. "The Collective" is at least as much about Maria Hill (current SHIELD director) learning the Avengers knew why most of the mutants lost their powers, but kept it a secret, and her becoming more hostile to them as a result.

Even this Annual, which is probably the one Bendis-written Avengers comic I read that really felt like a good Avengers' comic, revolves around a mysterious guy, either working with or for AIM, approaching the Yelena Belova Black Widow, and convincing her to be turned into a Super-Adaptoid. The guy's identity is kept hidden, the Avengers unable to figure out anything about who sent her, and Iron Man ends up accusing Spider-Woman of being mixed up in the whole thing. 

For me, New Avengers is notable for being the first title this blog helped me drop. Reviewing it each month as it came out helped me realize how little might happen in any given issue, and how little I was enjoying it. When The Collective - which seemed like his attempt to do a classic, multi-issue, Avengers-level threat -  turned out to be a dud, it was easy to drop and not look back.

More or less. It was a tentpole book for Marvel, so it was hard to miss hearing about the stuff Bendis was doing. Nerfing Dr. Strange's powers in yet another storyarc about the Avengers fighting the Hand. (Wolverine and Daredevil routinely fight the Hand solo, but an entire team of Avengers is struggling?) Trying to establish over-matched wannabe The Hood as a big deal by trashing Tigra as a character. Nothing that made me regret dropping the book.

Which is too bad. I really did think the core group of his initial roster - Captain America, Iron Man, Spider-Man, Spider-Woman, Luke Cage - could have been a neat group. There was potential in the variety of skills and backgrounds, but the book was never what I hoped it would be. Characters spend a lot of time sitting around talking, but rarely in service of advancing subplots for those characters or building interpersonal relationships or the larger plot. Just talking for the sake of talking.

I didn't really get The Sentry's deal, and I'm not sure Bendis did, either. Why have The Sentry tell the Avengers it's a bad idea for him to join them, then have them just blow that concern off? I didn't love Wolverine being on the team (in-story) specifically because Tony Stark thought they needed someone ready to kill (obviously the meta-reason was Wolverine's a popular character.) Then Bendis ended up making Hawkeye the guy who wants to use lethal force (once he brought him back from being dead at Bendis' hands during Avengers Disassembled.) Which was just stupid given all the other characters he'd put on the roster already well-established to have little compunction about killing.

Ultimately, the book was a mess, drifting vaguely one direction, then veering into a different course for event tie-ins, maybe finding its way back to the original heading later on. 

Saturday Splash Page #65

 

"In the Spotlight," in Ultimate Spider-Man Annual #1, by Brian Michael Bendis (writer), Mark Brooks (penciler), Jaime Mendoza (inker), Scott Hanna (additional finishes), Dave Stewart (colorist), Chris Eliopoulos (letterer)

First off, don't let the hair color confuse you, that's Kitty Pryde, not Mary Jane. Now that we've settled that, Ultimate Spider-Man had 3 Annuals, but I'd dropped the book six months before the third one came out.

While the Annuals did work as standalone stories, Bendis typically used them to set-up certain elements he'd go on to explore in the ongoing series. The first one was Peter and Kitty's first date, leading to their relationship, which lasted for, maybe 30 issues or so. Kitty's broken up with Iceman over, I think, him having something going with Rogue behind her back. Peter's distanced himself from MJ because he thinks he'll get her killed.

The 2nd Annual was Peter getting caught up in gang war territory stuff again, as Jean DeWolff encourages him to go after the Kangaroo, who is trying to make a play on the Kingpin's territory. Daredevil shows up, being a grumpy asshole. Moon Knight shows up as does the Punisher, who shoots DeWollf, because she was on Fisk's payroll. Or maybe he was sweet on her, as the issue ends with Fisk seemingly sad to learn of her death.

Honestly, I kept the Annuals because I enjoyed keeping all the issues that involved the Ultimate version of the Shocker, who Bendis kept having pop up as a minor nuisance for Spider-Man to easily beat down. He's actually the last guy Peter fights in the first Annual, where Kitty demonstrates that with her powers, Peter doesn't have to worry about her getting hurt. But in the second Annual, yeah, Spidey beats him in about one page while wondering how the guy isn't in jail. Which is when Foggy Nelson explains just leaving people webbed to a flagpole is not a good way to keep them in jail. So Peter takes the Shocker directly to the cops, which is how DeWolff gets the chance to point him at the Kangaroo.

Does that mean Foggy was secretly working with Fisk behind Daredevil's back, or perhaps working with the Punisher to draw out DeWolff so Frank could kill her? No, but I'm surprised Bendis didn't try either of those as a surprise ending at some point.

And with that, we come to the end of both Ultimate March, and the letter "U"!

Saturday Splash Page #64

 

"Called in a Ringer," in Ultimate Spider-Man #91, by Brian Michael Bendis (writer), Mark Bagley (penciler), John Dell (inker), Justin Ponsor (colorist), Cory Petit (letterer)

Ultimate Spider-Man , written by Brian Michael Bendis, drawn for 110 issues by Mark Bagley, then later Stuart Immonen, David LaFeunte, Sara Pichelli, probably some other folks, was the longest-running title in the Ultimate Universe by a fair bit. Probably the most successful, depending on how you want to grade versus Millar and Hitch's The Ultimates, which I imagine had higher sales, but also didn't have to sustain them long.

I started buying Ultimate Spider-Man when I got back into comics, shortly after I started college. I don't think I necessarily understood what the point was when I bought this, but it wasn't too hard to figure out. Taking Spider-Man to the beginning, revising and in surface ways updating Ditko and Lee's story. The spider is genetically modified rather than radioactive. Both the company that modified it (Oscorp) and the questionably legal governmental agency (SHIELD) are aware Peter got bit. Peter can't keep his mask on for anything.

I don't know if Bendis dislikes the idea of secret identities, or simply figured there was no way a 15-year-old could keep his shit together enough to maintain one in a world with as much surveillance as ours. When Nick Fury finally pops up, about 24 issues in, he rattles off a laundry list of different ways he knows Peter is Spider-Man. As someone who enjoys the secret identity aspect of superheroes, that trend was more than a little frustrating.

Bendis had I think made his name on street-level crime books, even if they included superpowers, such he and Michael Avon Oeming's creatively titled Powers. So a lot of the stories revolve around mob level crime, sometimes industrial espionage. Doc Ock worked for Osborn, but was actually a mole for Justin Hammer, who has his own program creating superhumans. His first confrontation with Spider-Man is Peter trying to stop him from tearing up Hammer Industries in revenge. Someone targets Roxxon for destruction a couple of times, and because Spidey stops them (just wanting to help people) he ends up targeted for that.

Daredevil never got above a supporting character in the Ultimate Universe, so Kingpin maintains a large (no pun intended) presence among Spider-Man's rogues' gallery whether Hornhead is around or not. Which does give Bendis the chance to show Peter struggling with how powerful people can escape justice, as even after he gets a recording of Fisk killing a man to the media, Fisk manages to beat the rap.

Granted that street-level is Spider-Man's bread and butter, it feels like it lost something that everybody was the product of what seemed to be a few concentrated experimentation programs, rather than people getting powers through weird accidents happening all over the place. Made the universe seem smaller. Even the symbiotes, rather than aliens, were something Peter and Eddie Brock's parents created as step 1 in a cure for cancer (which Curt Conners later got a hold of and was messing with before Peter found it). So you're back to the tight circle of genetic researchers being responsible for everything.

It wasn't always street-level stuff. Bendis had Spidey get tangled up in Dr. Strange stuff once, confront vampires a couple of times, probably a couple of other things I'm forgetting. There was a mini-series where I think Norman Osborn wanted to take over the country or something like that, but on the whole, not many stories about someone holding the city for ransom, or threatening to use an orbital satellite to wipe out half the country.

(There was also the jokey Freaky Friday 2-parter when Spidey and Wolverine wake up in each other's bodies thanks to Jean Grey being an asshole. Which does at least lead to Spider-Man cussing out the entire team of X-Men as a bunch of various expletives.)

Like I said, Bagley drew the book for 110 issues straight. With Bendis' writing style, that's maybe 37 issues worth of actual plot. Outside of the Green Goblin, who fans dubbed "Goblin Hulk" (and later the Hobgoblin, who stayed in the same vein), he didn't really change the look of the major villains. I guess Electro got turned into a very simplified hairless guy in a black leather suit/pants combo. Or maybe it was a tracksuit? I'm not sure. Doc Ock still looked basically like Doc Ock. Ditto for Kraven, the Vulture, etc. Probably just as well. I don't think people loved Goblin Hulk.

Much the same would be true for the supporting cast. Aunt May looked younger, as Bendis based her personality more on his own mother, moving away from the frail old woman always two seconds away from another heart attack. This May had a job, she eventually started dating again, she chewed out Jonah on the phone after he fired Peter. Mary Jane looked about the same, but was Peter lifelong friend who was more of a quiet bookish sort. Gwen Stacy came in as the wild child, with the piercings and carrying knives around.

As far as civilian life, Bendis kept things focused more at home and school. Peter worked at the Bugle, but as an IT guy, and as a high schooler among adults, he doesn't seem to interact with them much. No pep talks from Robbie Robertson or Ben Urich, no dating Betty Brant (none of whom every get much focus.)

But lots of dating melodrama at school. Peter tells MJ his secret early on, which was sort of a sweet issue about two dorky teens misreading each other. Bagley can handle facial expressions and body language. Peter and MJ date. Bad things happen, or nearly happen, Peter breaks up with her. They start to get together, he has another bad experience, they break up again. Kitty Pryde and Peter start dating. They break up, but she moves to the neighborhood anyway. Then she starts dating Kong (or Kenny) a new character Bendis created for the series who looks a bit like Bendis (at least the way Bagley draws both of them.) Liz Allen turns out to first hate mutants, then actually be a mutant (basically Firestar, seemingly so there could be a comic with Spidey and his Amazing Friends on the cover.)

I think sometimes the tipping point for the book was when Bendis tried to introduce Geldoff, the foreign exchange student who had the power to blow stuff up somehow, and used it to destroy the principal's car after he suspended some of the football team. Geldoff was new, was apparently not a mutant because he was experimented on in the womb (he was from Latveria), and apparently the fans hated him.

Bendis pretty much stuck to remixing the hits after that. More Kingpin! Carnage! Gwen Stacy dying! Black Cat and Elektra! A Clone Saga (ye gods he did a Clone Saga)! Aunt May having a heart attack! Harry Osborn being self-destructive! I mean, I guess it worked for a long time. Helps when you do a 9-issue Gang War story that has maybe 3 issues' worth of plot.

To be fair, Bendis does have Peter grow over the series. The progress is erratic and hard to trace, but especially by "Ultimate Knights" the last full arc Bendis and Bagley do together, Spidey is refusing to be pushed around by Daredevil, making a stand to keep Daredevil from killing an innocent woman to hurt Fisk, and finally using the fact that Nick Fury seems to like him as leverage to make Fisk back off. He seemed to have a better sense of himself, what he wanted, what he could do.

I gave up on the book at issue 122, for a host of reasons. Bendis' last couple of multi-issue stories hadn't done it for me, and the next was going to a) involve the symbiotes, b) draw elements from the Ultimate Spider-Man video game, and most damningly c) tie-in to Jeph Loeb's Ultimatum. After I left, Peter almost died in Ultimatum, then did die (I think keeping Punisher from killing Captain America). Then maybe didn't die, but Miles Morales was Spider-Man by then? Then the universe got wiped out in the run up to Secret Wars.

Random Back Issues #94 - Ultimate Spider-Man #91

Aw crap, I hated fighting this guy in Mega Man 4. At least I could make it to him. I had to rely on one of my friends to get me to Bright Man.

I'm a little surprised it took me this long to land on an issue of Ultimate Spider-Man, but the wait is over! Remarkably, we got the first issue of one of Bendis' swifter stories, clocking in at a, by his standards, economical 4 issues.

At this point, Spider-Man and Shadowcat are dating, as the Council of Kitty Prydes (fewer pipes and less ethically compromised than the Council of Reeds) continue their long-standing goal of dating Peters across the multiverse. As far as it goes, I'd rate Ultimate Peter Parker ahead of Pete Wisdom and Peter Quill (certainly the movie-inspired, idiot man-child version of Star-Lord Kitty dated), and maybe Colossus, depending on what point in time we're talking and their respective ages.

Anyway, our power couple are bonding by fighting crime together. In this case, the terrible Ringer, who has Spidey in a bit of a bind. Of course, metal rings don't work against an intangible person, but Kitty can't figure out where the mechanism for the suit is, and the Ringer bails once she starts phasing her head through his skull. That gives her a chance to free Peter, he webs the Ringer's gauntlets, the mechanism (on his back) overloads. Turns out the Ringer is from Ohio, not Maryland. I assume he was just trying to throw people off his trail. No one could think claiming to be from Maryland makes them cool. The cops show up, Peter gets them the heck out of here.

As for Kitty's costume, it does have the advantage of not looking a thing like her X-Men outfit, but it's kind of. . .not great. Costume design has never been what I'd describe as a strength of Bagley's. Immonen gave her a much improved look when he came on as artist, but I can't give him too much credit because he basically just changed the colors on Hellcat's costume. That's 25 issues away, however.

While they webswing, which Kitty really enjoys, they discuss Peter's lame villains. He responds his villains are better than the Ultimates, and Kitty counters they just fight each other. I mean, you're both correct. That's why their villains are so lame, because they, themselves, all suck. The conversation turns to their relationship and the possibility of going on a date in public, as Peter Parker and Kitty Pryde. Peter's worried it will cause his aunt more stress, but Kitty points out having a girlfriend gives him more excuses not to be at home when he needs to fight villains. Maybe Kittys dates Peters because they're all dumber than her.

Kitty has to leave, because the X-Men sent the plane of remote to pick her up. After a kiss which ends awkwardly by Kitty phasing partially through his face to cut it short, she heads home, worrying she screwed everything up. The mansion seems deserted when she arrives, except for Wolverine. Which would be good until I remember this Wolverine was originally a double-agent sent by Magneto who dropped Cyclops off a cliff once. 

Man, why couldn't it be Marvel Universe Scott Summers getting dropped off cliffs?

Wolverine tries to cut Kitty with a knife, which fails, but another attacker with some sort of taser is able to at least partially hurt her, even while she's fazed. Then Storm tries the same thing, while not recognizing her own name. Kitty's frantic escape attempt fries the communications array, and while she's able to launch the jet, she's zapped before she gets to it. 

Peter eventually notices said jet back hovering over the warehouse, goes to investigate, and is whisked back to the mansion. Where he is tased by. . .Deadpool! Working with a bunch of cyborg guys who are supposed to be the Reavers. This version of Deadpool is long on the amoral craziness, but low on the comedy. Also, I think he may actually talk less than regular Deadpool. Staggering when you consider he's being written by Bendis.

{11th longbox, 220th comic. Ultimate Spider-Man (vol. 1) #91, by Brian Michael Bendis (writer), Mark Bagley (penciler), John Dell (inker), Justin Ponsor (colorist), Cory Petit (letterer)}

Words for Pictures - Brian Michael Bendis

A gift from Alex. The book is mostly about trying to write for comic books. Not just how to write a script, or things to keep in mind about the nature of collaboration with an artist. But also how to write a pitch, interviews with editors about the best ways to get your material in front of them and the things you can do to help or hurt yourself once you get a chance (if you get a chance). A big one in the "hurt" department is missing deadlines, allegedly. I think we can all think of writers and artists that doesn't seem to apply to.

There's a whole chapter about the business side of it, the things you need to make sure you get hammered out in contracts, the value of lawyers for things like that, and so on. That chapter is presented as an interview between Brian Bendis and Alisa Bendis, who runs Brian's Jinxworld company because he is apparently terrible at that stuff (as are a lot of comic professionals, apparently).

As I'm not pursuing a career in the comics field, the book isn't of much utility to me in that function. And if I did try my hand at comics, it would be adapting the stories I've written, and I'd draw those myself. Which will never happen, since it would take me 1,000 years to finish even one of those stories. Plus, I'm kind of a dunce about a lot of this stuff. Bendis describes approaching Walt Simonson at a convention as a lad and asking whether he should focus on perspective first, or anatomy. He then describes that as dumb question. I suspect the answer is "perspective", but I don't know. I just try to get a general idea of what I'm doing in my head and then I start doing it. Hopefully figure shit out as I go along. That's my writing style most of the time too. But I'm not doing this for a living, so I can be as haphazard as I wanna be.

But it's still interesting, especially with the interview sections. There's a chapter where he asks over a dozen artists a series of questions and you get to see the range of approaches and preferences. Some of them like the Marvel Style of scripting, some dread it, some have never encountered it. One thing most of them agree on is that they hate it when writers don't think about how much they're asking to have put into one panel. Not in terms of detail, but in terms of too many beats. Character walks down street, character avoids dog peeing on hydrant, character opens door to meat market, character says hello to butcher, all in one panel. Or they want you to do a wide-angle shot establishing scene, but also zoom in on a particular pair of people, again in one panel.

Bendis is open about the odds against having a successful career - in the sense of making big bucks - and the need to keep working, keep learning all the time. I don't know if I believe he's taken every project on because it was something he really wanted to do, but I appreciate that he says that's something he tries to always do, not simply take a project for the paycheck.

'I wasn't doing it to be mean, and I wasn't doing it because I'm a megalomaniac (sort of). The truth is, as a writer/artist, I didn't know where the writing actually ended. It was all storytelling. The writing, the layouts, the finished art, the lettering - each was a piece of the story. So giving up some of that responsibility was difficult.'

It's Been A Week, Let's Discuss This

I figure by this point that you've either seen or heard about last week's Civil War II issue, or you don't care. But, just in case, this deals with some of what happened there, so if you are trying to remain unspoiled, come back for tomorrow's post. I mean, it'll be a review of another book about World War II, but it won't spoil this comic for you.

OK, everybody good? Fantastic.

Clint Barton killed Bruce Banner. Ulysses said Banner was going to become the Hulk again and kill a bunch of people, all the heroes rushed over there. Banner, while insisting he can't become the Hulk anymore (and I think the week before, Totally Awesome Hulk did a whole issue just about the fact Banner can't become Hulk any longer, full stop), got progressively freaked out about all this, and it turned out he'd given Clint some special arrow months ago, just in case he did turn back. Clint says he saw Bruce's eyes turning green, he fired, he turned himself in. Here we are.

I will say this for Bendis: A lot of his characters may sound alike. He may have no ability to properly pace a story, meandering along at issues for a time before rushing a conclusion. He may promise one thing, then dawdle along for months or years without ever doing anything. Where was I going with this? Oh yes, despite all that, he is very consistent about wanting Clint Barton to kill people.

He had Clint get murderously angry during Secret Invasion, he somehow decided that Clint was the member of the New Avengers who would try to kill Boss of All Superheroes Norman Osborn. When Clint was on a team with Wolverine, Bucky Barnes, Carol Danvers, and Mockingbird, to name four characters all much more willing to go that route, historically. I vaguely remember him having Clint kill someone in House of M, or try to at least. And now this.

I'm not sure why Bendis is so hellbent on having Clint kill people, when, for much of his history, Clint was a vocal opponent to Avengers killing people, ever. His stubbornness on that point (along with some communication breakdowns and Clint's own belligerence) helped kill his marriage to Mockingbird. He convinced Abner Jenkins to turn himself in and go to prison over a murder Abe had committed. He was on Captain America's side about not killing the Supreme Intelligence in Operation Galactic Storm, whether it was an artificial intelligence or not. Bendis can accept a guy with a remarkable talent for archery can hang with the Avengers, but not that he can do so without killing people, even with a quiver full of trick arrows that can do pretty much anything you need them to do and the ability to hit basically any target he needs to, no matter how ludicrous. Or else he thinks someone having a rule against killing is silly, but he seems to let Spider-Man stick to it (pun not intended, but not objected to either).

After Bendis left the Avengers books, I felt there was a small pushback from a few other writers to reassert Clint's anti-killing stance. Remender had Clint be adamant Avengers don't kill in Secret Avengers, and for all my issues with Fraction and Aja's Hawkeye book, at the end, they did have Clint defeat the sad clown assassin guy without killing him (though I'm not sure Clint avoided a body count up to that point). It seemed to get buried a bit under the portrayal of Clint as kind of a moron (rather than a fairly clever guy who happens to be hotheaded and impulsive too), but it was there. Now this.

On the positive side, Clint turned himself in immediately, so I assume he expects to face consequences and is prepared to do so. Which seems right for Hawkeye. I don't expect Bendis will do anything with it. He's thrown in the shocking moment, it'll fall to someone else to make something useful of it, and that's probably for the best.

As for Banner, it's another pointless death I can't see moving the needle with anyone. I guess it must, though. If it wasn't managing to goose sales temporarily, they wouldn't keep doing it, right? Seems like they could have done something with Banner, even without him being the Hulk. Confidant and helper to Amadeus Cho, consultant for the Avengers, action scientist, something. Or just let him rest for awhile.

And it's the usual Idiot Ball that dominates these things. If you're worried the Hulk will freak out, why send 10,000 superheroes to arrest him, which will probably freak him out? Pick someone calm he likes, preferably one who can get away quickly if need be, and let them talk to him. Like Dr. Strange. He and Banner go way back, Stephen's a calm guy, and he can magic himself away if need be. Just talk with Banner. If we assume Bendis is paying attention to other books, and Strange is still occupied with the war against magic, find someone else. Not Stark, he'd almost certainly foul it up, but there has to be someone. Keep some heavy hitters in the next county over if you really must.

Parker Robbins Can Lose, But He Won't Learn

It's a little weird to me to see the Hood as the big wheel behind this new Illuminati (really, it's more the new Masters of Evil as I saw one person point out). I have this reaction of, "Are they still trying to convince us this character is a major player?"

I know Bendis tried really hard to make that happen, and since he was writing Avengers' titles at the time, that meant it pretty much became fact. I had already bailed on New Avengers by the time he started that, though, and since one of his earliest attempts to sell us on the Hood was that whole thing where Tigra got pistol-whipped while crying and pleading, well, that wasn't much encouragement to pay attention to what he was doing.

So I only have vague impressions of the Hood from that stretch, and they mostly revolve around him trying to make a big play, and coming up short. Which jibes with the Brian K. Vaughn/Kyle Hotz mini-series he was introduced in. Parker always thought he was more clever than he was, which is why he keeps trying get rich quick capers rather than actually working to support his girlfriend. He just kept trying to pull something off, getting himself in trouble, narrowly managing to twist his way out of it, but creating more trouble for himself down the line. He wasn't so much climbing a ladder of success, as climbing a ladder of increasingly bad people to have unhappy with him.

Which could happen here. He's tricked Titania into joining his crew, which certainly won't backfire on him somewhere down the line. I've been trying to decide if he pulled something similar with the other members of his party, but I definitely can't seem him outwitting the Mad Thinker or Enchantress, and probably not Thunderball, either. Which doesn't mean he won't try to double-cross them later. Whether that's a good idea or not remains to be seen (it's not). He seems to think stealing from the Asgardians is a smart play, which, considering there are plenty of them who won't hesitate to hunt him down and kill him, seems questionable. So he's still in the habit of digging deeper holes for himself.

It's A Little Late, But Let's Air A Grievance

I know, Festivus was last week, but heck, I never watched much Seinfeld. Kind of impressive the pop culture things one can pick up second hand.

One of the (many) choices Bendis made during his Avengers run I didn't understand was, in the post-Secret Invasion set-up where Osborn was Grand Poobah of government super-people, why Clint Barton was the outlaw Avenger who was gung-ho to kill Osborn. He even tried to attack Osborn's Avengers HQ alone to do it.

It isn't his trying to do it alone that surprises me; this is Hawkeye we're talking about. But Hawkeye places a lot of value on being an Avenger. He has historically staunchly believed Avengers do not kill. For as much as he objected to Osborn and his "fake" Avengers team, it's curious he would he decide to do something he considers against all the Avengers stand for.

What's especially strange is, practically anyone else on the roster would have made more sense as the one advocating killing Norman Osborn, based either on their own characterizations or past history with Norman. Wolverine is on this team, for pity's sake. He kills 40 guys a week, and most of them are just poor schmuck security types trying to protect whatever guy Logan is actually mad at. But OK, fine, maybe Wolverine figured it would be a bad idea for a mutant to kill a preeminent member of the government, considering there had been Sentinels surrounding the Westchester grounds even when it was the relatively benevolent dictatorial ass Tony Stark in charge.

The team also included Bucky Barnes, in his stint as the Winter Captain. Bucky's been killing guys for decades, and lest you think wielding the shield might have tempered that, recall he was packing heat throughout his stint as Captain America. I kind of doubt he would restrict use of the gun to guys who were bulletproof, like Ares. Then there's Carol Danvers, who has killed villains before when the situation called for it, and killed a LOT of Skrulls during Secret Invasion. Bendis actually had her pass up an opportunity to kill Norman, ostensibly because she was "better" than him. Let's not go into that whole argument, though. There's Mockingbird, who used to be a SHIELD agent, probably killed in the line of duty. I don't rightly know if she would have killed the Phantom Rider if he hadn't fell off that cliff, she seemed mad enough, she had cause, she sure wasn't broken up at his death (rightly so). At any rate, the idea of Clint as the one advocating murder, and Bobbi being the one trying to talk him out of it, seems like a curious reversal of the characters.

Luke Cage and Jessica Jones aren't really the killing types, but they both at least have an old grudge against Norman, considering he hospitalized Jessica once, as a reprisal for helping to report on him being the Green Goblin. Granted, Luke beat hell out of Norman and kind of blew any case Norman was making about not being the Goblin, but obviously that didn't take. Besides, I doubt Jessica ever got a chance for a little payback of her own. But fine, they're unlikely killers, especially with a kid to raise.

Which just leaves Spider-Man.

While I'm generally opposed to Spider-Man killing people, I do think it's possible someone could write a story where he decides Osborn has to be stopped permanently, that's he's the exception, and it's his responsibility. Osborn is his enemy, one he hasn't been able to check sufficiently, and now the guy gets to call himself Iron Patriot and lead an Avengers team. It would be one thing if Norman were actually being a good guy, the way Harry tried in his various attempts to rehabilitate his father's name. But he's just using it as a way to consolidate power for himself, and settle grudges. He's still a bad guy, he's just one with greater reach and a good press agent.

I don't think Bendis would be the writer to do it properly. Like I said, I don't particularly want Peter to start killing villains, even Osborn, so the creative team would have to really sell it. It's hard for me to picture what scheme or actions Norman could take that would bring it to that point. But given the ugly history between Peter and Norman, I can at least entertain Peter getting desperate enough to see it as something he has to do. More than Hawkeye anyway, if only very narrowly.

Is It A Big Change If The Same Writer Is Still There?

I see several bloggers are excited about some of DC's upcoming news. Aquaman's coming back, and Geoff Johns is going to do that thing he does - Mutilate some characters while making everything fit into continuity. I'm kidding. Sort of. The Green Lantern franchise is getting another book, which is nice for Green Lantern fans, if not their wallets. Or maybe it is good for wallets. They won't be as full of money, lowering their chances of bursting at the seams. I'm happy Tony Bedard gets to write a higher-selling title, as he seems to keep landing projects which aren't going to get high sales (I'm a fan of his Exiles run).

You know me, though, always been more of a Marvel guy. I'm happy to hear the Agents of Atlas are getting another chance (as Atlas), but the bigger news seems to be about the Avengers. Two teams, two books, Bendis and Romita Jr. on one, Brubaker and Deodato on the Secret Avengers.

Anybody excited about these? I don't mean that in a sarcastic way, I'm curious. I'd prefer the artists be switched, as Deodato's more hit and miss for me than Romita Jr. You say, "Then buy the Bendis/Romita book, Calvin," but I've made my feelings on Bendis' team books pretty clear on this blog. His style hasn't been what I look for. Then again, I'm not sure Brubaker's pacing will be to my liking either. When I read Immortal Iron Fist, I felt some individual issues had little forward progress, and not much to them, though they worked much better when I read several issues consecutively.

In spite of those misgivings, there's part of me inside hopping up and down chanting "They could be good! The rosters could be interesting! You really liked that issue of Moon Knight Deodato drew! Maybe you'll enjoy Bendis' style more this time! Or maybe he'll shift his style more towards something you like!" Yes, it's quite irritating, but it's enthusiasm is a little endearing, like scans daily. I've been trying to encourage that voice, because I'd rather be excited, but I can't help wondering if the titles will be left to their own devices long enough, or if they'll swiftly be dragged into whatever the next big important deal, limiting their ability to find a groove. There's that cynicism again.

How about the rest of you? I imagine there are some folks with considerable trust in Brubaker, or Bendis, or fans of Romita and/or Deodato's work. Maybe you're excited about the prospects of a particular character being on the team?

A Potentially Interesting Conversation

I have a question for those of you that kept reading Ultimate Spider-Man after I jumped ship. Relax, the question is not 'Why did you stay?'

I was wondering if Peter and Kong ever had a discussion about Kong knowing Pete was Spider-Man. Kenny originally hit upon that flash of inspiration in Ultimate Spider-Man #14, which lead to his attempt in the next issue to prove it to Flash, and Pete having to play the weakling and get kicked into his locker, which lead to Gwen Stacy threatening to cut Kong. That whole scene seemed to settle things. Peter Parker, who started crying after getting kicked in the rump, was definitely not Spider-Man.

Then in #118, Kong's doing some push-ups, worrying that he'll botch his chance to date Kitty Pryde, and he starts wishing that Pete would tell him he's Spider-Man so they could talk about Kitty, and Pete could maybe give Kong some pointers on what to avoid*. Just out of the blue after 103 issues. By the next issue, Kong tells Peter he knows, when he tells Pete to suit up and go talk to Liz about her powers manifesting. It's never one thing out of the blue for Peter Parker.

I would have liked to see Pete and Kenny talk, how he figured it out, why didn't Pete's performance work, when, why he hadn't said anything to anyone else. Looking at the people who know who Spider-Man is, Kenny's I think the only one to piece it together that didn't have a vast intelligence network at hand, or was involved in the spider bit**. So that's sort of noteowrthy, and maybe they would talk about how Pete screwed things up with Kitty, which is one of those things I was in favor of Peter being reminded of fairly regularly. The possibility of that conversation, and Gwen coming back, almost made me keep buying the book. But Venom was coming back***, and I was fairly convinced that the title would be wrecked just because Bendis and Immonen would have to play along with Ultimatum, and here we are.

* Here's a big one: Don't start kissing your old girlfriend when Kitty is standing about fifteen feet away, especially after she rushed to your house to help you through a crisis. She's not fond of that.

** Osborn and Octavius were responsible for the experiment, and they told who knows how many guys. Clearly Otto blabbed to all those damn feds and scientists working on the clone project. Pete blurted his name out to the X-Men after they unmasked him. He told the FF. Wolverine and DD tracked him with their senses. Harry came in on Pete and Norman fighting when Pete's mask was torn. Fury had the aforementioned vast intelligence network, but Kong just had himself. The Kingpin knows what Peter looks like, but he never got his name, and he's the freaking Kingpin of Crime!

*** In a story tying into the video game, which had really frustrated me when I owned it, so consider that another strike.

I Can't Decide Whether It's Intentional, Or A Happy Accident

I remember when Bendis started New Avengers, and he was discussing his choices for the roster, he mentioned that part of why he wanted Wolverine and Spider-Man on the team was he thought they were one of the great intentional (unintentional*?) comedy duos in comics.

Now, one could probably make the case, were they so inclined, that he was blowing smoke, and Wolverine and Spider-Man were on the team because they were big draws, and would lend something extra to the title in terms of sales**. However, I think Bendis really believes that statement, because that seems to be how he plays them in the Ultimate Spider-Man. Spider-Man swings (no pun intended) between thinking Wolverine's the coolest guy ever, and a lunatic who drags everyone around him into a mad world of explosions and pain***.

What I found interesting is that the comedy between the two never came together, not while I was reading the title anyway. Instead, the comedy seemed to come from Luke Cage and Spider-Man, with Luke seeming to swing between being amused with Spider-Man, and exasperated with him. My personal favorite moment was probably during the interminably "New Avengers vs. lots of ninjas" fight during the Ronin arc (issue #11, 12, something like that). Luke gets knocked off the building, rides the elevator back up, the fight's still going. Spider-Man says 'This fight's been going so long, I've run out of jokes', and Luke's response is 'Well, that's one good thing to come out of this.' That certainly wouldn't count as "unintentional", but it got a laugh out of me, so I guess it qualifies as comedy.

I can't decide why it played out that way. Maybe Bendis decided he was doing the Wolverine/Spider-Man thing enough in the Ultimateverse, and didn't need to do it here as well. Maybe it was his fondness for Luke Cage, and wanting to give him something to hang his hat on. Spider-Woman had all the espionage, "which side is she double-crossing again?" stuff, give Luke a bantering friendship with Spider-Man. Maybe he felt like they were a better case of opposites than Peter and Logan, though they do have the bond of being the only two consistent members of the team to be in stable relationships****, which is perhaps a bond?

I have no complaints with the switch in plans, I just wonder about the why. I'm a Nosey Parker that way.

* I can't remember which he said. I think it was unintentional, but when you're describing fictional characters that can only interact in a way you, the writer/artist team, prescribe, can it be described as "unintentional"? You are planning to play their relationship as funny, so it's intentional, even if you write it so that the humor comes when the characters, in world, are not actually trying to be funny. Isn't it? I think I've given myself a headache.

** Which it certainly seems to have done, since sales figures say New Avengers sells better than say, the Busiek/Perez Avengers, for what that's worth.

*** To be fair, though, Wolverine usually warns Spider-Man that it would be safer to stay away from him, and Peter doesn't listen. Because he's a teen with a guilt complex the size of Ohio, I'd imagine.

**** Luke with Jessica Jones, Pete and MJ. I read them before One More Day, so I'm ignoring whatever that might do. Also, I'm ignoring the Sentry, on the grounds he was hardly a presence in the time I read the book, outside of the arc devoted to trying explain what the hell he was doing in the universe in the first place.

This Is All A Big Damn Conspiracy

So it's Thursday. Time for comics, right? Wrong. Due to some sort of snafu between UPS and Diamond, Ken (and if what they told him was correct) all the other shops that get their wares from the Memphis distribution center, got jack all today. So, no new comics today. Another day of waiting.

So what to discuss to fill the gap. Well, I would like to say that The Dane was correct, and Ultimate Spider-Man reads a lot better when you read large chunks all at once. I went from #2 to the end of the Warriors arc, which was about #82, yesterday, and the pacing does feel better that way. I think it was better off when the title for each issue was different, even if they were part of the same arc, because when I was reading "Warriors" and I noticed I was on Part 7 I had this reaction of "Jeezo this arc seems too long." When the cover doesn't tell me it's a specific chapter in a single story, I don't notice it as much.

One thing I noticed was the changing role of Patsy Walker in the book. Her first appearance (that I noticed) was #12 when Peter's contacted the company the supplies security cameras for Fisk's building. He gets a e-mail with an attached video presentation, and Patsy was the chipper presenter. Then she showed up on the cover of a Maxim Kong was reading when he first concluded Peter was Spider-Man*. Sometime after that, she was an on the scene reporter (I forget which arc), and the last time I saw her was #113, when she was the correspondent listening as Norman Osborn portrayed himself as a victim of that awful Nick Fury. I kind of like her moving between professions (assuming these are all meant to be the same human**), given 616-Patsy Walker's varied careers prior to being Hellcat.

I still wish he hadn't killed off Gwen Stacy. Really, why can't Peter Parker have a friend, who happens to be a girl, but is absolutely not a romantic interest? It's not like Pete was Mr. Popular at the time. He had MJ and Gwen, maybe Liz as friends, Flash and Kong as tormentors, Jonah and Urich as mentors, and Fury as that jerkass "friend" that's always trying to bum a couple of bucks or a ride from you. What's really curious is they kill Gwen, then follow it with that 2-parter where Jean Grey pulls a Freaky Friday on Peter and Wolverine***. Then the story where Johnny Storm tries to go to normal high school****, then back to dark with that Dr. Strange/Nightmare story that left Peter a bigger emotional wreck than usual. I'd say that he was trying to mess with Peter, let him get past Gwen's death a little, then sucker punch him, but it didn't seem like there was enough time for Pete to start getting past it, so instead you just had these abrupt tonal shifts.

* Which was #14. Geez, I'd forgotten he put it together that early on. That led to Pete letting Kenny boot him right in the hind end to allay his suspicions, which lead to Gwen threatening to shiv Kong.

** I say that, because I noticed in the first Doc Ock story that there was a reporter for the Globe named Eddie Brock, then about 20 issues later we meet another Eddie Brock, a childhood friend of Pete's, and he winds up as Venom. I recall Bendis really wasn't interested in bringing Venom into play, but the fans wouldn't stop asking for him. I wasn't one of those fans, for the record, and I kind of wish Bendis would have stuck to it.

*** In true teenager fashion, it didn't occur to Jean that putting Wolverine in someone else's body, and leaving that person stuck as Wolverine, is really a pretty crappy thing to do to that other person, until after she'd fixed it. Twit.

**** And looking back, can't believe I didn't see Liz as having fire powers. MJ told Johnny that Liz thought she made him light on fire.

Liz, Magneto, Ultimatum

I've been thinking about Ultimate Spider-Man, and Liz having her powers suddenly flare up. She's probably a mutant, but for some reason I think she's actually the result of some genetic tampering, like Spider-Man, or Geldoff. Poor Geldoff, so disliked by the fans it drove him to the miserable 616 reality, where he probably got killed by KIA in Avengers: Initiative. Just a hard luck case. Where was I?

I guess I'm thinking of Peter mentioning his concerns to Aunt May about all the people with superpowers that have been appearing. And there was the Geldoff thing, which is several years in the past now, but I wouldn't put it past Bendis to go back to it now. And Ultimatum is going to have something to do with all that, isn't it?

At any rate, Magneto seems likely to appear soon, and I'm curious how he would react if he thought Liz was your everyday, run-o-the-mill mutant, and instead found out her powers were the result of genetic engineering. First off, would that make Liz feel better or worse? She thinks people with powers are freaks, or at least puts on a facade of feeling that way. It probably wouldn't make a difference to the kids that would heckle her, because teenagers are jerkasses regardless of the circumstance.

As for Magneto, would he make a distinction? Powers obtained through unusual DNA sequences are powers obtained through unusual DNA sequences, regardless of how the DNA got like that, after all. Would he feel bad for her, that she was being experimented on by callous humans, or angry at this sign that humans were trying to usurp Homo sapiens superior's birthright through technological means?

I Lack Words

There are times that, I, I just don't know about Marvel, or me and this hobby of mine.

We've got the Millar on an upcoming Wolverine arc, and his well, incestuous Hulk grandkids. From the creative team who brought you Civil War! I'm using "creative" very loosely there.

Then there's Bendis and whatever it is that put a bug up his ass about Tigra. Bendis, please, stop writing about Tigra. I know Yu said she was gonna get a moment in the sun to make up for all the crap lately, but I have no faith in you to do right by the character. No faith whatsoever. If it was your pets, Luke Cage and Jessica Drew, then I might believe you were doing this with the purpose of showing what true heroes they are, and how they persevere. But since it's a character you've professed to hate, a character you have Edwin Jarvis, of all characters, calling an obscenity, I can't give you that benefit of the doubt (and we're gonna talk about that Jarvis thing tomorrow). Because you've given no indication you deserve it. The funny thing is, once upon a time (in Mexico) I wasn't prepared to buy that you did hate Tigra, thinking you just said that as a joke. I believe it now.

So here's the thing: Millar, please stop writing. Or at least, please stop trying to outdo Jeph Loeb in terms of unsubtle, gratuitous stupidity. And Bendis, please stop writing Tigra. Stop writing about her. Make a deal with Mephisto to forget that she even exists in the Marvel Universe. Or I'll make a deal with Mephisto to make you forget. I can trade my love for Ultimate Spider-Man. I'm willing to do that. Marvel got my money for them, so it's not as if you would care, and I'll have stuff to keep me warm when the Apocalypse comes and there's no electricity (because I don't burn reading material otherwise). You don't have to finish the story you have planned for her, just drop it. In a few years, someone will come along who likes the character, who can do right by her, they'll make her part and they'll rehab the character.

I, I, I ju- I don't know. I'm not even buying these books (nor do I plan to) and their existence is driving me up the walls.

*sighs*

I'm done.

Where's Geldoff?

You may not remember Geldoff; he was in Ultimate Spider-Man about 70 issues ago. He was a Latverian high school kid, with the power to make stuff blow up by looking at it (and concentrating). Spidey tried to rein him in, which led to his first meeting with the X-Men, and us learning Kitty had a crush on Spidey and so on. So it seems to be a pretty important arc in Ultimate Spidey continuity, but one very important piece seems to have been lost.

At the end of the arc we learned that Geldoff has been subjected to gene manipulation while still in his mother's womb, and that's how he got his powers. Xavier seemed troubled by it, which probably meant he was going to alert Fury.

And that was the last we heard of it. No follow up. Fury hasn't ever mentioned looking into it, Kitty's never mentioned to Peter (that we've seen) anything about the X-Men investigating on their own. My best guess is that Bendis was thinking about Ultimate Doom being behind it, but the way Millar set up Doom and the Fantastic Four's Ultimate origins precluded it. So he's just dropped it. That's too bad. It seemed like it might have been an interesting avenue to be explored. It's not really viable for Spidey, he's still just a teenager, and international intrigue is still a bit out of his depth. But for the Ultimates? Yeah, I can see them deciding nobody else should have genetically manipulated people but them and their allies, and trying to kick down some doors in an Eastern European nation.

Mistake Or Mistruth

To put it simply, Kitty's stated reason for leaving Xavier's school in Ultimate Spider-Man doesn't jive with the events as we saw them in Ultimate X-Men. In USM, Kitty says the school was getting crowded, and Xavier was displeased with her for demanding he wipe Aunt May's mind of "Peter is Spider-Man" knowledge, so she transferred. In UXM, we've seen that Kitty's been thinking about leaving for at least a couple of issues (spanning a few days), and that Xavier's death has made her realize that being in life-or-death struggles for mutants isn't really what she wants. She came to Xavier's to learn control of her powers, she can control them, so she's leaving.

Sadly, my first feeling on reading Kitty's explanation in USM was disappointment. I thought, 'Darn it Bendis, Kitty just explained her reasons in Ultimate X-Men last month! Pay attention!' I know most of the books in the Ultimate Universe just do as they please, which is probably a good thing, since I wouldn't want other writers to have to pay attention to Ultimates. But I kind of liked that USM and UXM seemed to at least keep in touch. So, a seeming continuity gaffe was disheartening.

Then I thought about it a little more. Does Peter know Xavier is dead? He wasn't at the funeral, and given the hectic pace of his life, it's possible he's missed the news broadcasts about it. So, perhaps Kitty's not being totally straightforward with Peter. It could be payback for Peter going back to MJ, but that doesn't really seem to fit. So why?

In USM, the last time we see Kitty and Xavier interact, Kitty's telling Xavier she hates him because he won't go to bat for her, because taking people's memories is wrong (though I could swear Xavier has done that kind of stuff to people before. They were evil people I suppose, so that makes it okay, maybe?). So I figure that it was shortly after that disagreement when Xavier bites the dust (pending current events in Ultimate X-Men). So Kitty feels guilty. Things between the two of them didn't end on a positive note, and now she's feeling remorse over that. So she changes the story to where she left, but Xavier is still alive, which means they could patch things up again someday down the line.

Personally, I'd much rather go with that line of thinking, rather than "once again Marvel books can't keep their stories straight", so I will. Good for me.

Time For Imagination!

So Kelvin noted in my post from Saturday that the gaffe I mentioned in X-Factor #11 is the sort of thing editors are supposed to catch. Except that obviously, the editors didn't catch that one, the same way they didn't catch that Tony Stark knew about Spider-Man's spidey-sense long before the new suit would've told him about it, or how Annihilation: Silver Surfer said the Skrull Empire had been wiped out by Annihilation Day 20, even though Super Skrull was still trying to save the Skrull Homeworld on Day 68, and I'm sure there are a hundred more you could come up with.

Now most of these are fairly small, and they don't ruin the story, but they do serve to draw you out of it, so for that reason alone, they need to be noticed and corrected. But they aren't, which leads us to tonight's question:

What do Marvel's editors do all day?

My guesses:

1) Giving Joe Quesada pedicures, while assuring him that all the fans are eagerly - but patiently - awaiting the conclusion to Daredevil:Father.

2) Getting Bendis coffee. Coffee? Yeah, coffee. That's it? They get him coffee? Yes, they fetch coffee. Nothing more clever than that? What's not clever about fetching coffee? Everything. You could have a made a joke about them enacting out his convoluted and repetitive dialogue sequences. . . OH, you got me! Yep, I definitely got you. You sure did. You bet I di...

Enough!!! Man, that stuff takes on a mind of its own pretty quickly. You mean it gets out of control fast? Leave now.

3) Bringing Mark Millar goats and virgins. Why? I have no idea, and I don't want to speculate. Just remember what Nextwave told us: Mark Millar licks goats.

Thoughts? Guesses? Ideas? Assumptions? Theories? Things you think might be happening but probably {BANG!}

I told him to leave.

My Obliviousness and Bendis' Treachery

Of the former, I ask this: Why would Sisyphus keep pushing the damn stone up the hill? He knows it's just going to roll back down as soon as he reaches the top. And he was already in the Underworld so what could they do, kill him? Sure, they could pull a "Prometheus Special" on him, and have vultures rip out his intestines every day, but at least then the horrible pain he's feeling is being caused by someone else. It seems like it would beat the spine-cracking agony you subject yourself to by pushing a boulder up a hill all day, every day.

Or maybe I'm underestimating Hades' punishment capabilities. He might be taking lessons from Garth Ennis in "Creative Pain Disbursement", at which point I'd say, go with the rock.

The things that occur to you when looking at a poster detailing what won the 1997 Nobel Prize Award for Physics.

As to the latter, I remember my freak out over Seward Trainer being name-dropped as the fellow Aunt May was staying out all night with in Ultimate Spider-Man. You might remember it, I was pleading with Bendis not to go there, "there" being the Clone Saga. Obviously he ignored that, but so far no Seward Trainer.

I'm beginning to think Bendis name dropped Dr. Trainer just to send those of us familiar with the Clone Saga into a panic. It dredges up all kinds of unpleasant memories: The lady Dr. Octopus, Ben Reilly in that stupid Spider-Man outfit (which as someone said, works much better on Spider-Girl. Why it does, I can't figure), Peter without powers trying to snoop around on Trainer, and so on.

But up to this point, he doesn't appear to be a factor. That would play into what BMB appears to be trying: take out all the extraneous crap the original '90s Clone Saga gathered over the two years it was going on, and just stick to a simple story about lots and lots of Peter Parkers, if such a thing can be simple.

As for how well it all winds up working, well, the jury is still out, with a couple of issues to go. The reappearance of his supposedly dead father does not bode well.

Wacky or Relevant?

That's the topic for today. With the release of Ultimate Spider-Man Annual #2, I want to know how you like your annuals (if you even care about such things).

Do you want your annuals to be a part of the larger goings-on in the character's life, a continuation of what they're dealing with in the monthly title?

Do you prefer them to be an opportunity for the writer to put things in motion for later development, which is how Bendis seems to be using them. Heaven knows he couldn't speed up some of his arcs so that he could use an actual issue of Ultimate Spider-Man to set up the idea of Daredevil trying to organize the street vigilantes against the Kingpin. And maybe you prefer that he does it this way. I'm not against it. I liked this annual, and the one last year that established the Spidey/Shadowcat relationship. But it does feel like a bit of an excuse to rush that plot point in, without as much set-up.

Or do you prefer your annuals to just be completely wacky, random crap that won't be in continuity or have any lasting repercussions? Kind of like those Avengers annuals where everyone dies, but at the end they all get better.

I suppose for me it depends on a couple of factors. If the Annual costs more than a standard monthly issue, I wouldn't want it to be relevant to the monthly storyline, because I might not be able to afford it, and so I'd miss out. But the Ultimate line seems to be making annuals the same price as monthly issues, so that's not a factor.

To me, Annuals are probably best served to let a writer get some crazy out of his system, a story that wouldn't really fit in the normal tone of the book. For example, that two part story in Ultimate Spidey where Spider-Man and Wolverine got switched into each others' bodies? Yeah, that should have been an annual.

And off topic, just how much of an expletive deleted is Jean Grey for doing that? "Oh Wolverine had an erotic thought about me! I'll switch his brain with someone he'd hate to be, to teach him a lesson!" That's great Jean, but what about the person who gets stuck in Logan's body? In case you've forgotten, people regularly try to kill that hairy, drunken letch. Cripes, Jean must be taking lessons from Silver Age Superman or something. OK, off-topicness over.

Actually, I think that's all I got. So how do you prefer your annuals?

Regarding Bendis and Ultimate Spider-Man

A few weeks back I said Bendis learned his pacing from watching Dragonball Z. I'd like to retract that, and posit that he learned it from Victorian-era literature, when authors were paid by the page. Simply put, it's Charlotte Bronte's fault. I haven't been able to say that since 12th grade, when Jane Eyre left me so sleep deprived I ran over the principal. OK, so that didn't happen.

Putting that aside, I wonder if Bendis isn't trying to speed things up a bit. The last few stories have been shorter. It seems like until "Silver Sable", everything was six parts. Then "Silver Sable" was five, "Deadpool" was four, and this "Morbius" story is only two issues. Is Bendis trying to answer the critics, the one's who say he writes too slowly? If so, more power to him. Less decompression would be good, he just needs to give me some advance warning.

Normally he seems to handle just one thing per issue, but like I said when I reviewed this week's offering, we had a Blade flashback, Peter/Kitty discussion, Urich's story, Peter/MJ, and vampire fighting. That's a lot of stuff, so it gave me the initial impression he was wandering allover, with no real plan. In reality, he may have been trying to accelerate his pace. Who knew such a thing was possible?

Despite that, I still can't change the fact that I really didn't want to see Spider-Man fighting vampires. "The Other" pretty much killed my desire to see any Spider-Man dealing with any sort of mystical/supernatural hoopa-joop. But, I am curious to see whether Morbius is once again a product of science gone awry, or if he's a straight up vampire.

Thus, I retroactively increase the score to 3.4 out of 5. One final thought. Bendis, don't do Ultimate Clone Saga. I'm telling you this for your own good. The phrase "Clone Saga" holds a severe stigma amongst us Spider-fans, so unless this is going to be a one issue joke story, like that absurd (and hilarious) "What if Wolverine and Spider-Man switched bodies?" story, you're just asking for trouble. It really is better for you to just go a different direction. Go with the "Jean DeWolff works for the Kingpin" plot. Do some more mutant-related stuff, you know, ex-Brotherhood members come after the X-Men's #1 buddy, Spider-Man. Hell, do more "Nick Fury is a manipulative bastard" stuff. Clone Saga? Just a dud waiting to happen. We're talking "Battlefield Earth" sized dud. Just something to consider