I Believe There's A 57% Chance Millar Would Agree To This

So I'm watching Ultimate Avengers last night on Cartoon Network. Putting aside how nice it was to see a Thor who talks like Thor, what with the bragging about smiting frost giants of Jountheim, I had a moment of inspiration.

See, I was looking at Steve Rogers, and I thought 'Hey, he has hair kind of like Guile, only not a tall.' This naturally reminded me of Ultimate Captain America Flash-Kicking Evil Double-Bladed Lightsaber Guy, and everything coalesced into something truly beautiful.

I believe that Captain America will mysteriously vanish in Civil War #5. No one will know where he's gone, and it will be up to the recently-re-intelligent Peter Parker to try and lead Cap's Secret Avengers, many of whom will probably have doubts about him, what with the rampant face-smacking he did to them in Civil War #3. Civil War #7 will be the huge battle between the pro- and anti-registration forces, because this is comics and complex issues of security and personal rights must be solved with punching. Don't you know anything?

In the midst of all this, Captain America will appear, and call out Iron Man for a one-on-one showdown. Cap wins, Reed and Tony concoct a mind-control device so all the secret identities and this registration nonsense are forgotten. Tony wins, all the anti-reg heroes turn themselves in. Since Stark nearly punched Cap's jaw off the last time around, he foolishly accepts. He even offers to open his faceplate, he's so confident (This will have the unfortunate side effect of firmly cementing Stark as a villain, as that level of hubris is exactly how your Dr. Dooms and Red Skulls of the world meet in defeat.)

And then...

SONIC BOOM! right in the face. (I've even included helpful instructions for Cap and/or Millar, should he happen to read this)

The single best part will be everyone's stunned silence, broken only by Deadpool shouting "That was Guile's Sonic Boom! Captain America plays Street Fighter!" This will be followed by everyone staring at Deadpool, then at Captain America, and then Reed, before he sighs and says "I better get to work on that plot device machine. I will call it Superboy-Prime."

What do you think? Too much? Too little? I mean, I'm sure we could throw some shots of Tony killing puppies in there before the big fight scene if you wanted. I'm not sure why you would want that, but we could.

Oh and hat tip to Len, for telling me about the time Deadpool hit Shadowcat with Ryu's Dragon Punch, which also served a role in this. That's right, I ripped off no fewer than three different people for this: Millar, Chris Sims, and Len. Four if you count DC. I am an incredible hack.