ABP: I'm going to Applaud Blastaar for taking one for the team. {I'm surprised he's fighting the Phalanx, I figured he'd still be fixated on the Annihilation Wave.} ABP: One thing at a time. {Exactly. he was already fighting the Wave, but he switched enemies.} ABP: But the Phalanx are the more immediate threat. {So? Why would he care?} Panda #2: Don't question our leader's wisdom! {You stay out of this! I thought they were going to behave.} ABP: They aren't breaking anything, so relax while I Applaud Giles and Faith for doing the hard jobs that need to be done. {Is this a theme? Applauding the people who get their hands dirty, without receiving glory?} ABP: Someone needs to recognize them! {Yeah, well I thought I told you last month, that I'll be the one to recognize Faith.} ABP: You said you were the one who got to Hug her. This is Applause; totally different. Panda #2: That's right! {I said be quiet, or I'll throw you back out the window!} ABP: Don't threaten them! {Whatever. Just hurry up, this is taking forever.} You can't rush the Applause for Agent Sum, for telling Arana to respect her father, or the Applause and Hugs for Tigra. Why does Marvel hate their own character? {Allegedly they don't. She's just rolling snake eyes a lot lately.} Panda #1: Andrae, you can't applaud her, she's a cat lady! Cats are evil! ABP: She isn't evil though, she fights criminals, when the writers let her. {He's right, she does.} Panda #1: Oh.ABP: I also think that Moondragon and Adam Warlock could both use a Hug, and so could Buffy. {Say what now?} ABP: Well, she seemed pretty shaken up after running into Faith, and finding out Faith was working with Giles and all. {So Buffy gets a hug because she treats Giles like her property? That's bullshit!} All Pandas: Gasp! He said a swear! {Yeah I did, and who writes your dialogue, Bruce Jones?} All Pandas: Who? {Never mind, that's a well out of date joke. And it's my home, I'll swear if I want to. You were on a mission, so I'm sure you've experienced worse.} ABP: We weren't really on a mission, we just wanted to have some fun. {And now the truth emerges. This isn't bring your momma around here looking for you is it, because if so, I'm leaving.} ABP: No, no, it's not like that! Can we keep going? Please? {Yes, just stop batting your eyes at me, it makes me nauseous.} ABP: Good, then a Hug and a Bonk for Cru, because she's lost a lot, and that's sad, but she's also gotten Carol in a lot of trouble, and that's bad.
Bonk for the High Evolutionary, because he's not very friendly to his visitors. {Mad scientist types often aren't very friendly. Unless they want to experiment on you. As hyper-intelligent kung-fu pandas, that's something for you to keep in mind.} All Pandas: Oh. ABP: We will, promise, as soon as I finish Bonking Gigi for being elitist and snobby towards Faith. Just because she's not landed gentry doesn't mean she couldn't have been your friend, and just like it didn't mean she couldn't kick your butt! {'Landed gentry'? Have you been reading Victorian Era literature?} ABP: A little, it's really wordy. {I know. Believe me, I know that all too well.} Really? {12th grade English Lit. Let us speak of it no more. Anything else?} ABP: One more, a Bonk for Taskmaster, for trying to shoot Luke Cage in the back. That's not sporting at all! {Hey! There's is nothing wrong with backshooting!} ABP: That's right, you always shot your father in the back on Goldeneye, didn't you? Pandas #1 and 2: He shot his father in the back?! Unforgivable! Draw your weapons, he must be punished! {Whoa there, it was a video game, you kooks! Look get them out of here, ABP, I've had enough!} ABP: OK, OK. {And next week come alone!} ABP: Right, right, no need to shout.
Later, in Calvin's home. . .
{What's ABP thinking, bringing other pandas around? This having to attribute dialogue to people is hard when the cast keeps expanding.}
3 comments:
I can only assume there's a pie on that windowsill that team panda is reaching for.
Anyhoo, bonk to Cable for yelling at a baby to stop crying, I mean, that's pretty much what they do, other than poop, and you think he'd take crying over pooping. Also, applause for Cable, for apparently having an X-logoed baby bjorn at the ready for his baby-stealing needs.
Hugs for pretty much everyone on the "hero" side in Annihilation Conquest. I have a feeling they're all going to need it.
Oh my God, the Pandas are organizing!
I think that Jason is right. Cable does seem to be insanely organized, and it isn't very nice of him to yell at a baby. So, a bonk.
A bonk to Spider-Man and MJ for being stupid enough to think they can make deals with the devil. That NEVER ends well.
A bonk to Mephisto for being a monumentally stupid plot device.
A hug for old Kingdom Come Superman. He looks as though he could use one.
A bonk to Tony Stark. I don't know if he's done much lately, but I'm sure that he deserves one.
jason: Clearly, Cable needs to call Deadpool in for some advice on handling kids. Plus, that would present the opportunity for Cable to give the kid to Bob for safe keeping while he and Wade kill bad guys.
The X-Baby Carrier is a nice touch, though. Allows for dual weapons use, and I presume it has some sort of shielding, kevlar or something.
sallyp: See, I would actually consider Mephisto for a hug, given that's he's been placed in this stupid role. But he is the devil, so a hug might actually hurt him. Hmm. . .
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