I'm sure someone, somewhere has put this out there, but what the hell.
Idea for a James Bond Movie: Bond squares off against all the children he's sired over the course of all his movies. That should be quite the multinational conglomerate of vengeance. It would work better if they hadn't decided to get back to the basics with Casino Royale. OK, it probably wouldn't work at all, although Bond's adventures usually leave the tattered remains of vast criminal organizations lying around, so if their moms were feeling enterprising they could move in, take control, and raise their children in the ways of evil. Then James has to deal with being a deadbeat, while saving the world from some telemarketing mind-control scheme, and bang, you've got your movie.
Yep, a movie that would probably tank at the theaters. This is why I am not in a creative industry. Or maybe this would be more of a marketability issue, ah, whatever. I just wasn't feeling inspired today, so you got this. Sorry.
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5 comments:
Hm...I think it has a goofy kind of charm. For box office success, though, I imagine a screenwriter would cut it down to just one nefarious offspring, maybe two.
Either way, I'd see it.
-M
See, I just keep having visions of JB hitting on one of his (sure-to-be) hot, female bastards, and then I get skeeved out.
Hal Jordan has the same problem as James Bond. I don't even want to TRY and calculate how many half-alien babies are running around.
matt: Yeah, a half-dozen or so would be too many for one flick, I guess, though lots of kids would be good for the inevitable video game tie-ins.
jason: Now why did you have to bring that up? I hadn't even contemplated that pitfall, now I'll never be able to forget it. Curses!
sallyp: I would figure Hal's good for an even dozen. I wonder how many of them inherited his lack of fear and tendency to sustain head injuries.
It is all in the pitch -
"Women's Murder Club meets Austen Powers in the feel-good revenge comedy of the year"
Young Walinda Share is loved (by the well-known spy) and left (fleeing the thugs of the Bagadanuci family) and rescued by a top-secret organization made up of previous relationship victims of the world's greatest spy. They have been cleaning up his messes for years, but now the women team up to show who is really in control.
Dabney Coleman as 007. Geena Davis, Candice Bergman, and Angelina Jolie as the ex-girlfriends. Bill Shatner as Blofeld. Jason Alexander as Q.
(Actually, that doesn't sound too bad).
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