Back Around To The Start Again

Booming Narrator Voice: AT THE VAST HALL OF REPORTING ON MARVELS AND LEGENDS. . . !

Future Deadpool: What vast hall? This place is the size of a broom closet?

Cornelius Potfiller: I must concur. These accommodations are quite insufficient for a lively party. Where are the servants? Where are the candelabras?

UnCalvin: *very drunk* Isssh, a, a, a Super Friendsh reference. *belches* I think.

Clever Adolescent Panda: How would you know?

UnCalvin: *sleepy grin* When I get really drunk, my brain sinks to his level.

Cornelius: I say, you've drank the last of my Napoleon brandy!

UnCalvin: BURP!

CAP: Why are you drunk?

UnCalvin: Adversh reaction to Calvin being around lotsh of people drinking? Or maybe I'm depressed because I'm a genius, but I never accomplish the simple goal of destroying an imbecile's blog?

Future Deadpool: I'm pretty sure it's the second one. Otherwise, we'd have seen you drunk during all those other times you showed up when Calvin was off visiting his boozy friends.

UnCalvin: Thass right! *points emphatically with empty wine glass*

CAP: This is the worst celebration of the start of another year here at Reporting on Marvels and Legends ever.

Booming Narrator Voice: JUST THEN, CALVIN ARRIVES, CARRYING SUITCASES!

Calvin: *falls over clutching ears* Agh! What the hell was that?

Future Deadpool: It's the Booming Narrator Voice. I'm telling you because you can't see the stage direction-like form this event is written in.

Calvin: Of course. Now what are all of you doing here?

CAP: We came to celebrate the end of Year 8 here at the blog. But you didn't show up, so we went ahead and ate all the snacks, and drank all the wine.

Calvin: You drank wine? Are you old enough for that?

CAP: I can sip to be polite!

Calvin: If you say so.

CAP: Anyway, we figured you wouldn't miss this, so we waited. It's the start of year 9 now, but that's OK.

Calvin: Well that was nice of yo - oh. You brought Cornelius again?

Future Deadpool: He had the best food.

UnCalvin: And liquor! *passes out*

Calvin: What's UnCalvin's problem?

CAP: UnCalvin isn't satisfied with how life is going.

UnCalvin: *bolts upright* I'd be fine if you'd just die! *devours entire ham*

Cornelius: I expect to be reimbursed for those provisions, you ruffians.

Calvin: Don't hold you breath. *sees Future Deadpool eyeing can of baked beans* On second thought. . .

Cornelius: Bodily emanation humor?

Calvin: No fruit too low-hanging, that's the motto of this blog.

CAP: No it isn't!

Calvin: You're right, but sometimes I want to make crass jokes. It really has been another year, hasn't it? Well, I didn't get to those entries on my favorite Marvel and DC characters. And for the 7th consecutive year, I didn't start Spider-Man: Giant Slayer. UnCalvin might have some room on that failure train.

UnCalvin: *sing-song from corner of the room where UnCalvin sits sprawled* Too baaad! I bought up all the tickets!

CAP: Well, yeah, but you gave the readers more stories with me! And UnCalvin! And maybe Deadpool will start showing up next year.

Future Deadpool: And you felt like you posted less rushed, slapdash crap this year because you stopped being so worried about posting every day.

Calvin: That's true, but how do you know?

Future Deadpool: You tell me in a few weeks, whenever you get around to reviewing this month's issues of Deadpool.

Calvin: Speaking of which, my comics arrived. *opens box* Aw, damn it, he left out the Deadpool issues!

Future Deadpool: That's why I said a few weeks. Doesn't it fill you with murderous rage?

Calvin: Huh?

Future Deadpool: You know, it makes you angry, and you still have to Christmas shop, and then you could pay me to simplify that.

Calvin: Future Deadpool, I'm not paying you to kill the other people doing holiday shopping. I don't care what your timeline says I did.

Future Deadpool: I was just trying to help, while having fun killing people. It's the most fun we're allowed to have in the future.

UnCalvin: *drapes arm over Future Deadpool, slurs* You could help me with something. . .

Calvin: UnCalvin, I'm going to suggest you stop before you doing something you'll seriously regret when you wake up.

UnCalvin: *confused* What are you talking about? Oh. Oh, no, not that. I wanted him to beat you up. To raise my spirits.

Future Deadpool: I won't say I'm not hurt by how quickly you dismissed that, but sure!

UnCalvin: Really? Oh, this holiday is looking up.

CAP: Forget about it, Future 'Pool! I'll never let you - *cut off by a pie striking Future Deadpool in the face*

Calvin: *looks around, sees no one* Oh, is the Ghost of the Forest here? Awesome! Ghost, I haven't seen you in, well, ever, because you're invisible. We need to throw the frisbee around some! *Turns to CAP* You didn't tell me the Ghost was here.

CAP: *shrugs* I thought it left with Cassanee. She got bored after a few hours.

Future Deadpool: *scoops remains of pie off face, shovels them into mouth* I forgot how good pie was. Cyclops outlawed it in 2032, at the same time as dancing with your arms over your head.

Calvin: Truly, Cyclops is history's greatest monster.

Future Deadpool: Only when he's distracted by a redhead.

UnCalvin: I'm never going to see Calvin get beat up, am I?

Calvin: Hopefully not.

Booming Narrator Voice: INDEED, CALVIN WOULD NOT GET BEAT UP THIS NIGHT!

*everyone falls over*

Calvin: We need to find that guy and shut him up.

CAP: Agreed.

And maybe that'll be the next big story arc: Search for the Annoying Omniscient Narrator. Or maybe not. Probably not. Anyway, thanks for reading, and commenting, if you comment. As always, I'm a little surprised the blog's kept going this long, but I guess it's going to keep going for a while longer.