I've Used Up All My Labor For The Day

Hope you're having a good Labor Day whether you're off today or not. Mine was full of petty nuisances all morning, but is hopefully looking up now.

Last year's crew seemed to love potlucks. This year, not so much. They jumped at the chance to cancel one and go to a county fair instead. To be fair, though, the potluck wouldn't have had muddin' or a demolition derby.

Half the fun of the muddin' is seeing the weird vehicles people enter. Standard pick-up truck bodies jacked up to monster truck height above 4 foot tall tires. A weird little car that looked like a homemade dune buggy. The tires and some of the frame looked like a standard automobile, but the rollbar looked lifted from an ATV, and one of my coworkers thought part of the body looked like it came from a boat. The other half of the fun is waiting for people to get stuck, which happened with greater frequency as the evening progressed and each vehicle tore up the track a little more. There was one truck, with a pink bumper and rollbar, and zebra stripes on the body, that was stuck for a good minute. But the driver kept his foot on the gas, kept twisting the wheel, and eventually it got enough traction to lurch forward and make it through. He certainly wasn't going to win anything with that run, but he might have gotten the biggest cheer.

I don't think I've seen a demolition derby before, and this one was a little makeshift. Only four entries, for one thing, and the arena - really just a patch of bare dirt they watered ahead of time and ringed with concrete barriers - was too small for anybody to build up much speed. Plus, none of the cars' tires had enough tread on them to get much traction. Still, everybody was game, and it was pretty funny watching people try to execute sharp turns in reverse when their intended target took evasive action. It didn't last long, maybe 10 minutes, but it also didn't cost anything extra to attend, so that's fine.

There was a rodeo later, but I was only interested in the mutton bustin', and there wasn't much of that. Only 4 sheep, and two of them were pretty lethargic (or the adults were holding them back from going full tilt). Maybe they need to talk a little trash at the sheep ahead of time, get them fired up.

'Hey sheep, you produce sub-standard wool!'

'I wouldn't use your wool for a horse blanket, but I will use it for that itchy sweater I'm gonna knit my least favorite niece!'

'The sheepdog says you can't stick with herd!'

Stuff like that. Afterward, send someone else over to give them a carrot and provide a little positive reinforcement, provided they toss the kids off their backs in a suitably impressive manner.