The Outsider (2019)

Netflix has at least two movies on there right now with this title. This one is trash, but the other one has Jared Leto in it, who I think is also trash, so probably a wash.

This is a muddled, poorly paced Western about a deputy setting his sights on the wife of one of the Chinese laborers in town. He and another deputies try to get Jing to pick up a gun so they can kill him in "self-defense." When he refuses, they just pistol whip him and say he did it anyway. Then, while he's locked up, the deputy rapes Li, and is such a dumbass he chokes her to death in the process. Of course, because she's Chinese, and he's the federal marshal's son, nothing is going to happen unless Jing does it himself. And Jing is an accomplished martial artist, naturally. Or else all these cowboys are just completely incompetent fighters, getting their asses beat in a 4-on-1 fight by a guy who looks like he weighs 130 soaking wet.

With their regular tracker dead, the marshal enlists a drunk, suicidal tracker named Chris to help, but Chris quickly enough decides to throw in with Jing. Not that he's much help, carrying a revolver with one bullet in it, unable to hit the broad side of a barn. Seriously, he misses the twerpy sadist deputy with three rifle shots from maybe 10 feet, the guy perfectly framed in a doorway. Misses him badly. I'd have to try to miss a shot that badly. You could argue he's doing it purposefully, because he figures it's Jing's right of vengeance, but he doesn't do any better in the climactic (I use the term loosely) gunfight at the end.

The movie spends far too much time on the marshal and his crappy kid. There are at least 4 confrontations between the two of them where the marshal repeats that he knows his son has no good in him, and he should have put him down years ago, but 'I made yore muther a deathbed promise ta protect yu.' Telling us that once was sufficient. Either the marshal continues to do nothing, and you've explained why, or he finally does do something and we're pleasantly surprised. There's also one scene of the marshal talking with some guy in a beat up hat about needing the Chinese to finish the railway sooner for reasons I thought was going to lead to something bigger. It does not.

The movie is fond of shots where the camera is either looking directly into the barrel of a gun, or a character is looking directly at us while speaking to someone else. Such as when Chris, during an awkward dinner with the marshal, is asked if he thinks Jing will stop killing. After replying sure, just as soon as the dipshit is in the ground, he leans toward said dipshit and asks him, and now us, if we would stop if our wife was raped and killed, would we, huh?

I'm sorry, were the filmmakers under the mistaken impression I was not on Jing's side in this? I was on his side before I even realized what the dipshit intended, when I thought he and the other deputy were just a couple of power-drunk redneck assholes hassling Jing because they don't like the Chinese. Believe me, makers of The Outsider, I am fully on board with Jing killing the deputy, and his buddy, and the marshal, and all the people in town who stood by and did nothing (which would include Chris initially), and then burning the fucking town down. Then salting the earth so nothing will ever grow there again and people will just avoid it until the end of all time. You do not need your cheap camera technique to try and get me on Jing's side.

A Dark Trail - Chapter 11

The gnome in question had jumped from the cart as it careened out the window and stood on the ledge, listening. The entire front of his body hurt, between the bullet impacts, the acid, and the metal shards embedded in the melted goo of his face. It sounded like that time-obsessed fool Etereo had failed, and he didn't have much hope for Geiger, considering no scent of burning flesh or screams had drifted down to him.

He couldn't win alone. At the rate he was losing blood, he might not even survive. He jumped away from the building, but as he did, saw the other two pests stepping off a fire escape. What was worse, they saw him.

The girl moved first, in deceptively slow, loping strides, but covering ground quickly. She still wasn't ready for him to kick off the air and spring above her while a foot off the ground, and passed harmlessly beneath him. He saw her turn in mid-stride to face him and he twisted to be ready for her next move. So he never saw the metal disc when it smashed into the base of his skull. His body went parallel to the ground, face down, twitching uselessly. He was dimly aware the girl caught him as he fell.

The platter bounced off the asphalt parking lot and shot back towards Calvin. He'd wrapped his hand in his handkerchief, so catching it didn't hurt quite as badly this time. He rushed over to Cass. "Oh crap, I didn't kill him did I? I was trying for stunned!"

She shook her head. "Still breathing. Already badly injured, though. Won't last long."

"Don't worry, I'm sure the Savage Avengers are still accepting applications," a voice called from behind them. "Or maybe the T-Bolts."

"Never to the first, and only if Hawkeye's leading the second," Calvin retorted without turning. "Which of you did he attack?"

Rhodez raised her hand. "My rifle blew up."

"Aw shit, really?"

"Yeah, but I think I have a useful power now!" She said with more cheer.

Behind her, Deadpool shook his head "no" emphatically before interrupting. "What'd you bring him down with? Rocket launcher? Novelty cartoon anvil?"

Cassanee pointed at Calvin, who held up the drink tray. "He threw that."

The others gawked, and Calvin rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "I'm not bad at throwing things."

Clever Adolescent Panda arrived at the tail end and swallowed Calvin up in a Hug. "That's so awesome!"

"Thanks pal. Are you OK?"

"Yeah, it isn't good, but we're OK. Pollock and I are gonna take some of the computers in the lab with us. We'll see if we can find anything on them. Where's the one who attacked you?"

Calvin gestured towards the roof. "Hopefully still KO'ed up there. We didn't have anything to tie him up with, and carrying a guy with electric powers down a metal staircase seemed risky."

"At least you know where he is. I think ours sank into the foundation of the building."

A raspy laugh clawed its way out of the gnome's throat where he lay on the ground. Cassanee crouched nearby. "What's funny?"

"You idiots have no idea what you're up against."

"Cliche alert. Are we messing with forces we cannot possibly comprehend, too?" Wade asked, yawning and digging a finger in his ear (through his mask, not sure how effective that is). "You shouldn't stick your finger in your ear, haven't you heard Narrator? Especially not my finger." 

Well, OK then.

Calvin and Clever Adolescent Panda exchanged glances, the panda replying, "Yeah, that's not exactly new for us."

"I'm sure you will enlighten us on the nature of the threat?" Pollock stood at the rear of the group, arms folded across her chest.

"Don't count on it sweet cheeks." The gnome's grin, with only a few remaining teeth, through that ruined landscape of a face, was not a pleasant sight.

"Oh no, you've made a demeaning comment about me based on my looks," Pollock stated flatly as she moved closer. "Do you want me to cry, or lose control and kill you quickly?"

Before the gnome could respond, Cassanee shouted "Move!" and tackled Pollock. Clever Adolescent Panda did the same to Calvin, and Deadpool for Rhodez. Electricity arced from above, scorching the pavement in a ring around the Gnome with No More Syringes(?)

Looking at the roof from beneath his furry buddy, Calvin saw the Old Electric Man standing at the edge. Maybe it was the angle, but he felt the man was glaring specifically at him. "Get off," he hissed. "He's gonna fry you to get at me!" He felt the panda shake their head firmly, and began trying to squirm free.

"What are you doing?!" The Gnome found the voice to shout from somewhere. "You know what you're supposed to do!"

The six looked at him, then the frail man as he spread his hands, electricity flowing in greater amounts than ever. He glowed blue now, brighter and brighter, energy arcing down the walls and into the interior of the building through every opening.

It was obvious to Pollock he was trying to destroy it, and possibly them, somehow. She shoved the girl in the hood off her and rose, searching for a cartridge, one to wrap him up. If the foul-mouthed runt was near death, another person to interrogate would help. Maybe she'd finally get Ca-the sullen girl to leave her be.

As she raised the gun, something crashed into her back, sending the shot wild as she was driven to the pavement. She felt two small hands clamp, vise-like, on either side of her throat. Too small to choke her, but more than enough to cut off her carotid arteries. She tried to roll, dislodge him, but no luck. Her head was wrenched back far as it could go, back bowing under the strain. She couldn't concentrate enough to shapeshift. Her fingers clawed at his, but it was as though his hands had grown roots into her skin.

In the corner of her vision, she could see the sullen girl trying to pull him off. Strong as she was - and Pollock had been hit by her enough to know - she wasn't making much headway, though Pollock thought the grip might be loosening slightly. Or she was blacking out already. It only took a few seconds.

She saw a blurred image of the gnome open his mouth to bite one of the hands holding him The moment he did, a red-gloved hand jammed a serrated blade in the opening. The grip tightened for a second, then released. Pollock's head fell forward, she was just able to shift one arm so her forehead landed on it, rather than the pavement.

"I'm gonna go ahead and finish the fun-sized serial killer, OK." Deadpool's tone didn't suggest he was asking permission.

"We still need to stop him," Rhodez gestured at the man on the roof, still flooding power into the structure. "Can you hit him from here, Deadpool?"

The merc ignored her, focused on the gnome. She looked around. "Anybody have anything?"

Clever Adolescent Panda was sorting through Pollock's satchel. "I don't know what any of these cartridges do."

Calvin sighed, pressure situations weren't really his thing, but. . . "Worth a shot." He hefted the tray, took a couple of steps as he drew his arm back, and then let it fly. He pretty much expected it to bounce harmlessly off the building on the first floor. Maybe the second, if he got a tailwind. If that was what happened, he must have gotten one hell of a tailwind, because it flew true, arcing cleanly towards the Electric Man, arms still outstretched.

Rhodez could see the man's eyes widen, but he didn't try to defend himself. Instead, the amount of energy pouring from him increased. Just as the tray reached him, there was a loud rumble from somewhere beneath their feet, and the man slumped, exhausted. The tray flew over his head.

"Shit. Sorry," Calvin said.

"That was a really good throw," his fuzz buddy assured him. "He just moved at the last second. At least we can go talk to him now."

Which is when the entire building collapsed. Whatever his powers triggered, the building couldn't stand under it any longer. It trembled internally first, and as it began to collapse on itself, the ground it stood on gave way, forcing everyone to retreat towards the cars as the rest of the structure fell into the depths. Dust billowed from the hole, before drifting over like a fog bank made just for them.

"Great, we're probably all gonna get mesothelioma," Calvin grumbled as they stumbled through it in the direction of their cars.

"Not me!" Deadpool exclaimed. "Healing factor! High five!" He raised his hand, and after a moment, Clever Adolescent Panda high-fived him.

"You don't have a healing factor, you stinker," Calvin snapped. "Do you?"

"Not really, but I couldn't leave him hanging."

"You're dead to me, Clever Adolescent Panda."

"Does that make Deadpool, Dippy Fresh?" Rhodez wondered.

"He is a very '90s idea of cool, so yes."

Sunday Splash Page #82

"Shuttered Factories Find New Life as Setting for Atmospheric Encounters," in The Big O vol. 4, Chapter 14, by Hitoshi Ariga (writer/artist)

I only ever bought one volume of this 5-volume manga series. I don't remember why I bought it, other than I enjoyed the original 13 episodes of the anime. Thought clearly not enough to buy any of the other volumes. You might reasonably wonder why, if I was only going to buy a single volume, I went with volume 4 instead of, oh, I don't know, volume 1? Or even volume 5, under the thinking I wanted to see how it ended. Well, I can't remember what my thinking was behind that either, so we're all in the dark.

It's the same general story, Roger Smith piloting one big robot against a bunch of other big robots in a city where nobody supposedly has any memories beyond 40 years ago. Except clearly people have some memories since there's a whole story in here about a pair of scientist twins kidnapping the poor folks who live in the slums and using a device to try and pull out whatever memories they have. This volume does have the big showdown between Roger and the former reporter Michael Seebach, now calling himself Schwarzwald. "Black Forest" is a pretty cool name. Maybe that was why I bought this volume, I always liked that character. Kind of crazy and theatrical, you know?

The heavy shadows, the stark contrasts between black and white Hitoshi Ariga uses really work for this. Very good at creating an atmosphere, at making things seem ominous or looming. There are deserted sections of the city that are this stark, plain white, and deep shadows here and there, and it makes things feel desolate and empty. I'm not sure it works as well for the giant robot fights, but that's mostly just because it's hard for them to really feel like giant robots on such small pages sizes. The mechs usually take up an entire panel, and typically even that isn't enough, as parts of them are out of view, but you don't really get the sense of scale, or power of the attacks they're throwing at each other. If the earth should be trembling from a series of punches Big O is landing on the opponent, the art doesn't really reflect it.

What I Bought 9/27/2019 - Part 1

I have officially lived where I do long enough one person at the post office recognizes my face and remembers my name. A true milestone. In other news, we were apparently so bored or loopy at work this week we somehow got on the topic of cartwheels and before you knew it, four of us were testing whether or not we could still do them. The answer is "yes", albeit not particularly graceful ones. Here's two comics from September, a story winding down and another reaching the midpoint.

Sera and the Royal Stars #3, by Jon Tsuei (writer), Audrey Mok (artist), Raul Angulo (colorist), Jim Campbell (letterer) - That would be a hell of a thing to run into while out rock climbing.

Our three heroes take a little ride down the river, but get attacked by more of those lizard guys, this time with dragon back-up. Aldebaran's still a little worn out from the plant growth display last issue, so they try hiding in a cave. One which is enchanted and full of little flying creatures that abduct Sera and drag her to a place where she sees a lot of family members who tell her they are all disappointed in her. Hey, the holidays are rough on everybody. She makes it through, I think, with a little help from her brother's actual ghost, and catches up with her allies and someone else.

It's nice that, when seemingly confronted by the ghost of her mother who is being critical of her, Sera doesn't immediately collapse or start issuing denials. She does that stuff eventually, once her siblings join in, but her immediate response is to angrily point out her mother abandoned them for a quest just like this, so she doesn't get to judge. It's not the usual reaction you see in a story like this, but given how Sera had to be forced to do this quest, and she clearly has issues about her mother being gone because of it, it seems like the right reaction.

I really like how Audrey Mok draws clothes, or maybe it's the actual clothes. All the robes and sashes and capes, and cloaks, but the characters never look too cluttered or busy. Every group kind of has their own distinct look. The lines are light and everything flows nicely. The word that keeps coming to mind is "elegant". Everyone is very stylish, and Antares definitely has a sort of grace to her movements when she leaps onto the cliff and starts fighting.

Infinity 8 #15, by Lewis Trondheim and Davy Mourier (writers), Lorenzo de Felici (artist) - Yes, I know that's the same cover I posted last issue. This is the one Previews had online when I went looking for that's issue's cover then. It still isn't an effective way to halt a zombie charge.

Ann and the group of mercs that are helping her splash into the hanger of Mister Led, the big fish guy from the previous storyarc. And there's Ron and his Symbolic Guerillas trying to make an escape as well! Ann commandeers the the craft, and gets a little trigger happy, killing Led and both of his pilots when she enters the cockpit. She can fly the thing herself, but the transformation's accelerating. They reach the center of the anomaly and find, I dunno, some space rifts that giant corpses come floating out of? And the corpses attack them? Maybe. They blow 'em up regardless and Ann's able to talk with the people who created this place, but the transformation takes hold entirely before she can relay what she's learned, and she just blows the alien vessel up instead.

Oh well, three more tries to go.

This one's story didn't seem to hold together quite as well as the previous one. There was some stuff about Ann being very straight-laced and formal, real follow the rules type. She veers off that, but because she's been infected by the zombie bite and its gradually changing her mental state. You'd expect it to be she has to be a little more loose in how she handles things because of circumstances. And it sort of seems like that was where things were going last issue, but this issue makes it seem like, no, she's just rapidly turning into a ravaging undead. And I'm still not sure if those giant corpses were attacking, or it was simply the ship had to blast its way through to reach the center of the anomaly.

It looked very pretty though. de Felici makes the corpses this sort of green and black combination that outlines the bones so that they have the appearance of glowing. Where they emerge from the spatial folds, there's these translucent triangles around their limbs or chest. Like pieces of cellophane or the material 3-D glasses are made of that's been left out in the sun and faded. It's really odd, and I don't know that I would think of that as representing falling out of a spatial fold if the story didn't tell me that's what is happening, but it's still a very cool visual.

Nocturne (1946)

There's a film that came out this year with the same title, but this is a noir film with George Raft, who I didn't know anything about, but apparently he's the kind of actor that figures playing the same character he always does, but having that character live with his ma and let her cook dinner for him, while otherwise being a sneering bully, is demonstrating range.

A songwriter is shot in the head after spending the first several minutes of the film explaining to a woman on his couch that he's breaking up with her, but that she's the inspiration for this song, and as my dad noted, it was pretty understandable why someone would kill this asshole after listening to him talk for more than 20 seconds. But the killer somehow has convinced the cops that he shot himself, except for Raft's character, who starts trying to track down the old girlfriends.

In no time at all, his methods manage to piss off enough people that he's being warned off by the chief. Barging backstage at a burlesque show, wrecking a diner's player piano, and questioning the wife of a city councilman will do that for ya. Right about the time that happens, Raft gets a note about a complaint of a peeping tom. I thought it was against him, but apparently it led to a clue. Go figure.

Raft doesn't get much of anywhere for a long time. He keeps questioning one woman, and her sister who is a singer at nightclub, and the piano man at the club (who looks a whole lot like Two and a Half Men star Jon Cryer, which I was not expecting and found kind of strange), who knew the victim. There's also a big goon named Torp who works there and follows Raft around, doing a horrible job of not being noticed. He gets comically angry when Raft rips all the buttons off his jacket to make sure he's not armed. The awkward hostility between Raft and Torp (Bern Hoffman) is one of the high points. Torp clearly hates his guts, but is stuck in situations where he can't just finish him off like he wants. And Raft leverages that with a lot of sneering contempt, even after Hoffman does kick his ass once.

The story wasn't much, and Raft isn't any good at playing a character you would actually want to root for, but that made it fun to laugh at how many poor decisions he was making, so that's something.

It's a Bummer End to the Year

There's a few things to discuss in the December solicitations, but not a lot that really excited me.

I didn't see anything with Image or IDW, other than noticing IDW has already spun their Buffy comics into three different ongoing series, which seems overly ambitious. Maybe let the first series get more than 5 issues in before you decide to expand the line. Nothing at Boom, although I notice they're going to do a Power Rangers/Ninja Turtles crossover. Well, why should Batman get to have all the pizza eatin' crossover fun? I had a lot of fondness for both those properties when I was young, but they don't seem to be ones I've retained much nostalgia for, curiously.

I didn't see another issue of Question: The Deaths of Vic Sage listed in DC's solicits. I checked twice, but nothing. Maybe it's bimonthly? I hate that can mean twice a month or every other month. They're starting up Suicide Squad again, and we're giving Harley Quinn firearms now, oh boy. The Low, Low Woods, a 6-issue mini-series in that new Hill House horror imprint they have going might be good. I don't know anything about Carmen Machado or Dani's work, though.

OK, so last month, I commented on a bunch of 2099 books that Marvel was releasing. Those are one-shots, not ongoings, so they aren't actually trying to make an ongoing of Conan 2099. Yet. There are a few more in December, although I'm confused that the 2099 Omega issue says their world is one where things are controlled so there are no heroes, but we're doing all these one-shots about heroes who exist in that world, sooooo. . .

In related news, Annihilation: Scourge is also taking the form of a bunch of one-shots coming out, some of which aren't being written by Matthew Rosenberg. So they might not be gawdawful. Dan Abnett's writing the Silver Surfer, Christos Gage the Fantastic Four one, and Michael Moreci (who wrote that Roche Limit trio of mini-series I bought a few years back) is writing a Beta Ray Bill one. I guess it makes sense in a way. They charge extra for a one-shot, and it's easier to convince suckers like me to buy one more expensive than normal issue than a whole mini-series. As evidence, look at most of the one-shots and Annuals I've bought this year.

What else? That Kelly Thompson/Chris Bachalo Deadpool book is apparently as ongoing series. Elsa Bloodstone is going to be in the second issue, so is Captain America. I wonder if Wade still really fucking hates Steve Rogers? Zeb Wells and Will Robson are doing a Spider-Ham mini-series. They're starting Dr. Strange over with Mark Waid and Kev Walker as the creative team this time. They're doing another goddamn Cosmic Ghost Rider mini-series and another flippin' Symbiote Spider-Man mini-series. Well, if it keeps Greg Land away from books I'd actually want to read. . .

There's just not much else. The second issue of the sixth storyline of Infinity 8. The trade paperback for Test is being solicited, but it says Volume 1, so does that mean there is going to be more? No sign of Sera and the Royal Stars. Black Stars Above will be on its second issue, if I decide to buy that. Red 5 has a book called Machine Girl that sounded sort of interesting but who knows if it'll ever actually show up. I never have seen hide or hair of that second Bonnie Lass mini-series, and Red 5 used to have all sorts of problems getting Atomic Robo published on schedule.

And, at this point, I can say we went the entire year without seeing a single issue of Copperhead or The Seeds. Just lovely.

Ride Lonesome

A lot of the fun of Randolph Scott movies is seeing what actors you recognize who will go on to larger roles in later films. While I was at my dad's, we watched another one, The Desperadoes, that had a young Glenn Ford as the co-star (who not only manages to steal Scott's horse, but beats him in a fistfight, and ends up marrying the girl at the end.)

With Ride Lonesome, we have Pernell Roberts (most well-known for his role on Bonanza) and James Coburn as a pair of criminals Scott encounters while bringing one member of a fugitive game back to Santa Cruz with him. Roberts and Coburn aren't welcome in Santa Cruz because of past indiscretions, but they have heard that if someone brings in this gang they receive amnesty. There's a repeated gag where none of these guys (other than Scott) had heard of the word before or knew what it meant.

Will Randolph Scott let them have the gang member so they can get that reward? Are they willing to bank on his goodwill? And, once they realize he's deliberately taking his time because he wants the leader of the gang (played by Lee van Cleef) to catch up, what are they going do?

The plot is one that is fairly common in Randolph Scott movies. Where he's a bounty hunter because he lost his wife to a vengeful criminal in the past. Plus we have the group of morally ambiguous guys that are temporarily on his side, and the lady who runs a stagecoach depot station that thinks poorly of Scott until she learns about his past. I think the last time I saw it, Lee Marvin was in there as one of the morally ambiguous guys, who tried to challenge Scott at the end and couldn't even get his guns out of their holsters before Scott shot him.

So it's standard fare for Randolph Scott, not one of his better movies, not one his worst. Just something to watch to pass the time, or for background noise.

A Dark Trail - Chapter 10

By the time Deadpool and Rhodez turned from the window, the gnome was gone.

"Do you think he ran off?" Rhodez asked hopefully.

Deadpool, looking unusually serious, answered, "He shrugged off three bullets to center mass and knocked us both on our asses. Unless he's the love child of Domino and Puck and his luck powers ran out, probably not."

The two moved through the cubicles, searching everywhere. Reaching another intersection, Rhodez glimpsed something at the far end of the lane to her right. She raised her rifle and fired. The round tore a sizable hole in one cube, but the shadow she'd seen darted to safety, for the moment.

"Office Surfin'!"

Only for the moment because Deadpool was headed that way the moment he noticed Rhodez had seen something. He made a flying leap onto a mail cart and hurtled down the aisle, crouched low, arms out to either side. The Gnome with a Syringe could have easily escaped down another aisle, but didn't see the point. He leapt into the air, ready to kick this jittery idiot's head off.

The mercenary met the jump with one of his own, drawing a sword as he did and shouting, "Special Deadpool Sword Technique!"

The two sailed past each other, Deadpool's attack allowing him to avoid the kick. They landed facing away from each other, both in a crouch. At the intersection, Rhodez watched, waiting for something to happen. Deadpool sheathed his blade with click that echoed in the empty workspace. The gnome straightened up, and Rhodez raised her rifle as his eyes locked with hers. "Deadpool?"

"Wait for it," he replied, still in his landing pose.

A single cut in the gnome's tunic appeared. He scratched idly at the unbroken skin under it.

"It itched. That's about it."

He took one step towards Rhodez, and the lower half of his beard fell to the floor. He froze, staring at his shorn facial hair.

"Beard Trimmer!" Wade exclaimed proudly as he finally stood up and turned to face them. Before he could say more, a tiny fist connected with his chin. His lower jaw was driven back, nearly severing his windpipe. The rest of him flew into the wall, only his lower legs and hand sticking out of the hole. 

A shot hit him in the shoulder and made him stumbled. He whirled and glared at Rhodez, who looked on in dismay.

"Oh come on!" she groaned as the gnome sent the cart screaming towards her with one kick. There was no time to dodge, so she held out the rifle, hoping to blunt the impact at least a little. She felt a sharp pain shiver up both arms at first contact, but opened her eyes to find she hadn't been run over. The cart stopped on contact. Her arms stung and her rifle was dented. She probably couldn't risk firing it again.

Which was a problem, because the gnome was watching her with a dangerous glint in his eyes. She hadn't retrieved her hatchet after he kicked her in the head, and if the .30-30 rounds weren't stopping him, she doubted using the rifle as a club would work.

"Microverse ZZ Top." The gnome turned, fed up with the insults. Of course, compared to the syringe full of acid Deadpool sprayed into his face, insults weren't so bad. Rhodez approached slowly, not really wanting a closer look at the damage, but Deadpool seemed unperturbed, already talking to himself about whether a "Melt with You" reference would have been better.

The tiny terror lurched blindly, and Rhodez backed up, settling in a crouch, one hand on the ground steadying her to defend or roll away. The gnome crouched as well, preparing to jump. Gaining high ground for an attack, or trying to escape? It was never clear because as he went to jump, his feet slid from under him and he simply fell on his face.

His mostly melted, extremely injured face.

"I guess your luck powers really did run out," Deadpool observed over the screams. "You aren't hurt enough you can't feel pain, but the acid did make you uglier than me." 

He tried to walk over to the gnome, but his feet slid uselessly on the carpeted floor. The gnome glared hatefully through the eye that's lid hadn't melted over as he scrabbled uselessly at the carpet, trying to drag himself away. "You could run me over for an hour and I'd still look better than you, crapbag."

"As much as I'd love doing donuts on your face in the parking lot, I don't think my trainee would approve." Deadpool found he still couldn't move. "Hey Padawan, throw me your rifle, I'm on a treadmill here, and not just the constant cycle of making friends then pissing them off my creative teams have me on."

"I'm not sure it'll help, Wa - Deadpool. See for yourself." She stood and tossed it to him. As she did, both Deadpool and the gnome abruptly regained traction. Deadpool turned it into a lunge, ignoring the rifle, knife drawn to pin his enemy to the ground like a bug on display. The gnome launched himself up and away, snatching the rifle in midair. Knowing it would be useless against the regenerating merc, he aimed at Rhodez, who had fallen backwards and was scrambling away on all fours.

Deadpool found he couldn't get up, limbs sliding uselessly. "Thanks for pointing out the obvious, useless narrator. How about you explain who entered a cheat code to turn this into an ice level from Mario 3?"

Listen here you, this is not a visual narrative. I have to describe what's happening for the audience.

"Blah, blah, while the useless narrator defended his obsolete job, Deadpool threw his knife at the stupid, smelly, ugly gnome!"

Knock that off! Ahem, Deadpool threw his knife, but the rifle had already exploded in the gnome's face, what was left of it. He fell backwards, landing on the mail cart. It spun slightly and rolled more than would be expected from the impact. Taking a chance, Rhodez rushed the cart and shoved it. The cart sailed down the aisle like a runaway train, and almost as devoid of passengers, the disarmed and maimed gnome writhing atop it. The cart went through a window at the end of the aisle with a crash and fell out of sight. 

Deadpool found he could get up again. "Thank goodness, those little blue pills are expensive." 

To Rhodez, "I think you need X-Men training more than assassin training, Padawan. We could enroll you in the X-Force after-school program and split the difference."

Rhodez sighed. "I can't afford more education. I already have enough student debt I seriously considered letting you train me to be a contract killer. I can't even replace that rifle," she gestured glumly to the shattered remnants of her weapon.

"That's why you take hits on the side, when you aren't going on paramiltary, morally ambiguous missions with a bunch of people in black-and-grey outfits! They'll even give you guns, you just have to "lose" them along the way," the mercenary gestured enthusiastically.

"Are you two OK?" They turned to see a damp panda and bedraggled Pollock, wringing out her cape.

Deadpool arched one eye. "Not as OK as you two, if you had time for pool sex. You're supposed to invite me to that."

Hard to say which of the other three people in the room was more disgusted by that comment. "That's not what we were doing!" snapped Pollock. "We were attacked by an idiot with grenades and intangibility powers!"

"That still doesn't explain looking like you just ran through the city in a thunderstorm to catch the train your lover is leaving town forever on," Deadpool observed, before turning to Clever Adolescent Panda. "So, what had you bothered in there, big chum?"

"There were a lot of researchers and lab technicians, and they were all dead. It looks like the Amilgars did it. What happened up here?"

"We got attacked by a creepy gnome," Rhodez explained.

"Is that all?" Pollock asked incredulously. "From all the damage, I'd think you fought a team of highly trained super-soldiers."

"I've heard gnomes have eight times the strength of an ordinary human," the panda observed, "but I've never met one, so I don't know if it's true."

"Pretty sure it's true," Rhodez said wearily.

Sunday Splash Page #81

"More Rigged Than a Duke Home Game", in Beyond! #4, by Dwayne McDuffie (writer), Scott Kolins (artist), Paul Mounts (colorist), Dave Lanphear (letterer)

Beyond! came out in late 2006, probably during the stretch where Steve McNiven fell way the fuck behind on Civil War. I don't think that has anything to do with this, just a bit of temporal context. It has to have wrapped up before McDuffie took over for JMS as writer of Fantastic Four, since McDuffie pulls a plot element from this for one of his stories there. 

A disparate group of characters - Medusa, Spider-Man, the Wasp, Hank Pym, Firebird, the Hood, Gravity, the Mac Gargan Venom, and one of Kraven's kids - are lured to a mysterious spacecraft landing in Central Park. Which then carries them to a distant planet where a mysterious voice tells them they'll receive their heart's desires if they triumph over their enemies.

Sounds familiar, right? But things aren't what they seem, as they aren't the first, or even the second bunch to be brought here. Plus, one of them is an imposter, and no I don't mean the Hood impersonating a badass.

McDuffie's able to give every character a chance to show how they can be cool or even just human. He draws some good stuff out of the old history some of the characters have (Kraven and Spider-Man for one, Pym and Firebird for another). The reveal of the true mastermind seemed clever and in keeping with the character, at least based on my understanding of him. 

Kolins' art has a kind of roughness to it that I don't exactly love, but it's effective. He can handle the scenes of people talking, the parts where tensions are running high and people are starting to snap at each other, and he can handle the fight scenes. He knows when to pull back for a sense of scale or scope, and when to zoom in on someone under strain. I don't think I've ever seen the outfit he gave Medusa before or since, but it was pretty cool.

You can probably find Beyond! pretty cheaply in trade or single issues, and I'd say it's worth a look if you enjoy Dwayne McDuffie's work or stories about random collections of characters having to work together somehow.

What I Bought 9/18/2019 - Part 2

Fall is this typically slow time at work, at least in the office. Which is good motivation to get out in the field and do inspections. Plus, if it actually decides to act like fall, the weather is delightful. I love fall so much more than summer or winter.

Anyway, we were bored enough Monday to read through an appeal filed on a decision our director made and there's a paragraph where they discuss "hoe-ramming" as a method of dropping pillars holding up the ceiling of an old underground mine. In the next paragraph they spelled it "ho-ramming" and we've been making jokes about that all week.

Steeple #1, by John Allison (writer/artist), Sarah Stern (colorist), Jim Campbell (letterer) - Can hardly blame her for not picking up two hitchhikers on her motorcycle, especially when one is a giant man with a cow skull for a head. And his cloak would certainly get caught in her wheels.

Billie (the brunette on the cover) is a trainee priest sent to assist Reverend Penrose in the town of Tredregyn, which has reputation for being a land of horrors and boogedies. Her car bursts into flames as she reaches town limits, but the other lady on the cover, Maggie does give her a ride into town. Maggie also works at a local pub, and according to Billie's new boss, is a servant of the devil. Which, considering the reverend spends every evening fighting supernatural horrors is more literal than is typical. Unless that eyeball creature he was trying to cast into the sea was just some dude in a spooky mask. In which case the Reverend and Billie may be murderers. That's probably not the case, though.

'Stop ambushing the bereaved! That's not the Church of England way!' cracked me up. I wonder at how accurate that is, though.

So this could go a lot of ways. Penrose looks like he's running on fumes, but doesn't believe Billie is cut out for this work, her handy use of vacuums as a weapon aside. But I'm unclear how much of what I'd consider more typical church work Penrose does, which is what Billie seems eager to do. Meet the community, help them with the love of God or whatever. So does Billie prove she's more able to fight than the reverend suspects? Or does she befriend Maggie and bring down the devil worshipers from within? Or maybe she rallies the community to the reverend's aid and they help him fend off eldritch horrors? Or does Maggie convince Billie Penrose is off his nut and turns her around? It's the first issue, possibilities abound.

It's interesting that everyone except Billie and Maggie are drawn with shadows under their eyes. Granting Billie is younger than everyone else, and I'm unclear on whether Maggie is an older woman, has gone grey early, or dyes her hair, but most of the locals are frazzled, or worn, or just aged. Not exactly an easy life up in North Cornwall I guess. Penrose reminds me a little of Old Man Bruce Wayne from Batman Beyond. Probably the scowling and black clothing that does, but especially in the scene where he first meets Billie he has that tired, slumped shoulder look. He's trying to stand straight up, but the energy isn't there anymore. Also, I'm curious to see Allison draw more strange beasties, just to see what designs he comes up with.

Deadline - U.S.A.

Humphrey Bogart plays the editor of a well-respected newspaper, but as the movie begins, he learns the paper has been sold to a rival paper, which intends to shutter them. He gets drunk and despondent for a night, but by the morning he learns one of his reporters was found badly beaten. The reporter was trying to follow a lead on a local Mista Big, Tomas Rienzi.

In the few days left before the paper is closed for good, Bogart directs the full force of it at Tomas Rienzi. Rienzi already managed to flummox a state senate committee's investigation into his finances and the likelihood he influenced recent election, but he's no match for the power of the press, although he gives it a good shot. Well, not really, he's kind of incompetent. Or the men he hires are.

There's also a subplot about Bogart and the widow (Ethel Barrymore) of the paper's founder trying their best to block the sale and shuttering of the paper, after Bogart inspired her with a speech about how important the press is. Plus another subplot about Bogart still not being over his wife (played by Kim Hunter) having divorced him and getting ready to remarry.

It's mostly a movie about the critical function good reporting serves in a society. Pity we don't have more of it today, or more people that will actually read it. Take your pick. So Bogart makes a lot of speeches, including one during the final hearing to determine if the sale will go through. Which requires the judge to let him to continue, even though it has no bearing on things. I guess there was always a chance one of Ethel Barrymore's daughters would change their minds and throw in with her to nix the deal.

The enjoyable part is just watching all the different aspects of the paper that get brought to bear against Rienzi, and watching Rienzi get flustered and stupid because of it. The research department, the cartoonist, Bogart's editorials. One person of interest is involved in boxing, because Rienzi has interests there as well, so one of the sportswriters is able to call in favors to track the guy down.

What I Bought 9/18/2019 - Part 1

While I was on the road last week, I managed to pick up three of the four books that were out I wanted, which was better than I thought I'd do. That was a nice development in the midst of all the heat and my allergies going haywire again. Really hope I'm nearing the end of that difficulty for the year.

Magnificent Ms. Marvel #7, by Saladin Ahmed (writer), Joez Vazquez (artist), Ian Herring (color artist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - Nakia strikes me as someone who drives aggressively without realizing it. She gets on a tirade about something and all the while she's crossing three lanes at a time without signaling.

Kamala's in one of those stretches where the personal life aspects are suffering. Grades are down, father sick, late for school, needs to join an extracurricular, unresolved romantic tension with Bruno, all that jazz. So Zoe and Nakia take her on a road trip to the place with the best gyros in New Jersey. But the place is only full of wage zombies from a nearby company, who quickly surround them, and then Josh and that annoying redheaded fascist girl show up.

As far as recurring enemies of Kamala's go, they aren't the Inventor, but they're better than the sentient computer program. Because she can punch them. Although first we'll have to listen to them whine about how all their misfortune is Kamala's fault.  At least Josh already got his in this issue. No we'll just have to sit through Lockdown's next month.

Vazquez' style reminds me of Sara Pichelli's from when she was drawing Ultimate Spider-Man. Crisp look to the characters, not a lot of excess lines. Everything and everyone looks fairly clean and not necessarily a lot of background detail, It works. I like the liquid (tears?) running from all the zombies eyes, if you figure they're victims being abused by their bosses. Nakia says Rubicon "bought the whole town", and you wonder how accurate that is. Of course, all the zombies also have the liquid running from their mouths, which is gross rather than sad, but oh well.

The color work from the diner until the end was really nice. A lot of purples and oranges on the horizon, as we move towards dusk. The way the town or the trees are just shadowy outlines all around, with no hint of what's there. It's capturing that horror movie feel of being in dangerous, unknown territory as it's about to get very dark.

Test #4, by Christopher Sebela (writer), Jen Hickman (artist), Harry Saxon (colorist), Hassan Otsmane-Elhaou (letterer) - I'd say Aleph has stuck their neck in out, but it might be they need to push the rest of themselves through, too.

The person who asked Aleph to lead them last time may actually be Aleph, but a future version. Or someone who can look like them. That doesn't exactly reassure, so Aleph runs from place to place, through mirror after mirror, through some of their memories, and eventually they meet a personification of the town of Laurelwood itself. The town was able to access the future, but bringing pieces of it here only excited people as to the commercial possibilities, instead of scaring them. At the moment, all the different forces are burning the city to the ground in a struggle for dominance, but that doesn't seem relevant, as Laurel and Aleph are planning to do something, but it requires Aleph to die. Again, because this isn't the first time Laurel's tried this.

So everything that's happened with Aleph has been an attempt by Laurel to make him ready for whatever it is the city plans to do with their access to the future? Like, going all the way back to childhood, or just since Aleph started trying to modify themselves? And it's been attempt after attempt after attempt? Or is that all those times Aleph thinks they should have died, they actually did, but Laurel's winding it back somehow? Laurel said the future isn't a place you can go, but I don't know that means the same is true of the past.

Yes, I'm fumbling here. I really don't grasp what Sebela's going for here, beyond Aleph trying to figure out what they really want and why, and how difficult that can be for someone else to understand. Laurel admits they never know what to say to help Aleph understand, and that they can't grasp why Aleph wants to not exist so badly. I feel like Aleph's line about "sapes" barely being able to exist now is and that being off the board entirely is the only way to be is just another cover. It's easier to pretend not to care, speaking as someone with experience in that viewpoint.

The weird in-between space is kind of nifty. A whole lot darkness, except there's something that reminds me of lungs sitting in the middle of a field of weird mushroom things. Everything has a soft blue tint, like the mushroom things are giving off the light. You could see it being almost soothing in spite of how weird it is. At least no one is chasing after Aleph or trying to attack him there, right? But it's still off to Aleph, enough they feel they have to run, even if there's no place to run to exactly. And hiding seems futile from something that can see you anywhere, since you're within it, sort of.

As a man once said, Red, I do believe you're talking out of your ass. True enough. Maybe I'll be able to make sense of it after next month. But probably not.

The 7th Dawn

This movie is set in Malaysia after World War II, and focuses primarily on three characters who all worked together in the resistance against the Japanese occupation. Ferris (William Holden), who has gone on to be a big time landowner/industrialist in Malaysia. Dhana (Capucine), who has gone on to a career in teaching, and is frequently involved in non-violent demonstrations against actions taken by the British provincial government. Ng (Tetsuro Tanba), who went to Moscow after the war, and is the leader (or one of the major players) in the Malaysian Communists rebellion against the British provincial government.

The British government insists it is going to withdraw, once things are in place for a peaceful transition to a democracy. For Ng, that either isn't happening fast enough, or won't ensure the Communists are running things, depending on how you want to read it. My guess is the film thinks the latter, but I'm unconvinced. My dad would say that's my anti-British stance; I'd say it's understanding people might not be willing to take the word of the country that treated them as a colony that it will let go.

There's a whole love triangle where Ng loves Dhana, but Dhana loves Ferris, and Ferris, I guess likes Dhana, but not enough not to fool around with other women when he gets the chance (and then get snippy when Dhana gives him shit for it). I was more interested in the deep loyalty the three appear to have for each other, where neither Dhana or Ferris will turn against Ng, despite repeated pressure from the government, and Ferris is the one big landowner that doesn't get attacked by Ng's forces. Dhana's the only one who holds to that until the very end, though, as Ferris and Ng both have something they value more.

Really have to question some of the tactics the British use. Not just the bit where after a man throws a grenade into a fancy party, they decide to burn his entire village to the ground as a demonstration. But they're moving everyone to a new village, just 15 miles away. Except they also insist that they are moving them to where the Communists can't reach them. 15 miles away is out of reach? But it's not like they can tell who is a Communist and who isn't.

That was dumb, but the real head-scratcher is at the end, after Ng has abducted the provincial government head's daughter, Candace, to force the government to concede. The SAS locate Ng's base, and jet bombers proceed to bomb it, then a bunch of soldiers parachute in and start shooting basically everything that moves. So we're not even attempting to rescue her? Because if you are, that is the stupidest way of going about it I've ever seen.

A Dark Trail - Chapter 9

On the first floor, Pollock and Clever Adolescent Panda were still in trouble. Pollock managed a second barrier against the last grenade, but only barely. Without the panda behind her, acting as a brace, she'd have been blown across the room.

Out of explosives, the Immaterial Man seemed content to try rushing and diving at them. Pollock rolled left, CAP right, and he slid smoothly into the floor. The duo jumped onto the few remaining objects in the room, Pollock an equipment cart, CAP one of the holding tubes, trying to stay out of reach of surprise attacks from below. Four eyes scanned the room for any sign of that unsettling smile or green suit.

Pollock whispered, trusting the panda's ears to pick it up. "I might have something to stop him, but we need a way to hold him in place for it to work."

"I have something, but you'll have to stay back or it'll get you, too." The panda dropped to the floor more heavily than necessary, all senses on alert for their opponent, something hidden in one broad paw. Both sets of eyes swiveled to the blocked doorway at the sound of loud cracking. The floor gave way under the remains of the collapsed ceiling, concrete and plaster splashing into the water below. Even after the rubble fell through, cracks spiderwebbed outwards. From her higher vantage point, Pollock could tell the floor was unusually thin, like a single sheet of graham crackers.

"He's been pulling away the floor this whole time!," she shouted as the floor gave way entirely. Her perch tipped backwards as it fell, and she was unable to leap clear. Clever Adolescent Panda lunged towards a wall, just managing to grab a pipe running from ceiling to floor with one paw. This left them unable to do anything for Pollock as she fell into dark water.

It also left them vulnerable, trapped on a single narrow handhold. It wouldn't be difficult for the enemy to reach out of the wall and take the panda's heart. Unless he was focused on Pollock while she was in the water.

As CAP scanned the murky surface below, hoping for a familiar head to break the surface, a hand shot out of the wall, although it was aimed at their face rather than their heart. Our furry hero had been warned somehow. An instinct maybe, or the rustle of fabric as it passed through air, and flung themselves backwards into the open space where there used to be a floor.

"Time flies, but you just fall." The Immaterial Man began to emerge from the wall, intending to attack while the panda was helpless in mid-air. Before he could launch himself from the wall, CAP hurled the item in their paw. The Aura Lock grenade released a flare of light, and the spectral foe spasmed, tumbling gracelessly for an instant before their suit caught on a bracket holding the pipe to the wall. The panda's momentary triumph didn't convince gravity to release her grip, and CAP plunged into the frigid water, bobbing to the surface moments later.

The few functioning lights in the room above didn't illuminate much of the lower level. They appeared to be in a long hallway or tunnel. There was no sign of Pollock. Perhaps her cape had weighed her down? Before CAP could start a search, a low groan rolled from above. The Immaterial Man glared down, smile gone, as he phased one hand into the wall to lever himself up and free his suit from where it was caught.

He held a lighter in his other hand, and it was then the panda noticed a sticker on the pipe indicating it was a gas line. If there was still any inside, phasing a lighter in there would be bad for everyone. Except, presumably, the one who could turn intangible and let the explosion pass through him.

"You can't buy time, but time can say bye."

From behind CAP a canister flew up and exploded in a cloud of yellow smoke around the Immaterial Man. "Would you shut up, you nattering lunatic?!" a wet and extremely angry-looking Pollock snarled.

The lunatic in question tried to close his eyes and mouth, then retreat into the wall, but his concentration faltered, and he couldn't pull himself in. He fell, not out of the wall, but down through it, towards them, towards the water. There was no splash, not even a ripple. His passage caused as little disturbance as starlight.

"He must be stuck in his intangible state!" CAP realized, submerging and kicking to the floor. "He'll just keep sinking if I don't stop him!"

Underwater, most of the panda's senses were muted, if not entirely useless. From what little they could make out, there was no sign of that shiny green suit. The Immaterial Man was gone without a trace.

By the time Clever Adolescent Panda resurfaced, Pollock had reached the staircase to floors above and was watching the water warily from the dry landing. She offered a hand as the panda reached the staircase. "No sign?"

The panda shook their head, water droplets flying in all directions. "I don't know how far down he could be by now. If he regains consciousness in time, maybe. . . "

"I designed it to keep a regular person unconscious for hours. Even Wade would probably be out for an hour."

The panda's dark eyes locked on Pollock's green ones. "What would you need something like that for?"

Pollock folded her arms across her chest, exasperated. "For all the very annoying, very strong people who keep showing up at my business and causing problems. It's a nonlethal response. In my defense, I wasn't expecting the person I used it on to fall to the floor and then through it."

"Great, but now we've got nothing."

"I'm sorry, perhaps you'd prefer to be back in the freezing water faced with an opponent who probably wouldn't be hampered at all?"

The panda raised their front paws in a placating gesture. "You're right. This just isn't going how I hoped."

"Does it ever?" Pollock scoffed. "There are still the computers in the lab. Or perhaps one of the others found something."

Both of them snapped their heads towards the ceiling at the sound of gunfire. Dashing up the stairs, CAP said, "I don't think Wade is just bored."

Sunday Splash Page #80

"Because Everyone's On a Lot of Drugs," in Beware the Creeper #1, by Jason Hall (writer), Cliff Chiang (artist), Dave Stewart, (colorist), John Workman (letterer)

An early 2000s Vertigo mini-series I grabbed on a back issue hunt last year. The story doesn't have any relation to the Jack Ryder Creeper we usually see, as it's set in 1920s Paris, and focused on two sisters. Judith is an artist, the wild child, vocal, doing whatever or whoever catches her fancy, while Maddy is the quiet, responsible one, who pays the bills, and writes screenplays when she can. After Judith is attacked by a psychotic rich boy, the Creeper arrives on the scene, striking at that family in various ways.

There's a whole thing where the Creeper is initially embraced by the Surrealist Movement, given her seemingly random actions that poke at and humiliate the various institutions and people that had historically been granted respect. Whether those things had ever deserved that respect is another matter. But you know how it goes with popularity; first they raise you up, then they tear you down.

Cliff Chiang and Dave Stewart make a good art team. The Creeper outfit retains the green-red-yellow color scheme, although with a lot more green. The red boa or stole is replaced with more of a crest or ponytail on top of the head. In the streetlights the getup looks bizarre, but in the shadows it can look quite threatening and unsettling.

What I Bought 9/13/2019 - Part 2

It's been 90 degrees here all week. Guess I should get used to that state of affairs, but I would rather complain futilely about it. Where's my autumn? At least the temperature is supposed to moderate this weekend. it's Alex' birthday, so it'd be nice to not feel trapped inside.

Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #48, by Ryan North (writer), Derek Charm (artist), Rico Renzi (color artist/trading card artist), Michael Cho and Doc Shanher (trading card artists), Travis Lanham (letterer) - Doom is unimpressed by Squirrel Girl's ability to cradle Iron Man's unconscious body.

The villains all agree to work together until Squirrel Girl is defeated, then it's everyone for themselves. Totally sure none of them will try to jump the gun on that! Doreen advises the villains attacking her at school that this is a bad idea, and they give up. Traveling to what's left of Doreen and Nancy's apartment, they find Mew did not get blown up. Hooray! Then they track Melissa to the park, where she spends the rest of the issue monologuing about how she hired someone to tamper with Iron Man's armor so she can hijack it, and how she let Brain Drain send off that message and blah, blah.

OK, "Iron Ring" is not a great name, but not even Melissa can bat 1.000. It is impressive how much time she's spent maneuvering and preparing for this moment, although I'm not sure we needed roughly 6 pages of her talking about it. Less chat, more splat, lady.

During the scene where the cast is rushing to Doreen and Nancy's apartment, there's one panel where they leap from what I assume is a building that is just below the border of the panel, but between the way that's laid out, and the next panel where they're off in the distance above seemingly empty space, it looks like they jumped off air. Or an invisible building. Maybe it's Melissa's secret lair! I hope they remember to go back and check that out later!

I did enjoy the three panels of Doreen and Nancy gawking at the assembled villains, and then Doreen hands Nancy their respective trading cards so she (and the audience) can all get familiar with these bad guys. Also the fact that on the final page, it looks like Tony is trying to fight Taskmaster by throwing rocks at him. Not a boulder, mind you, just ordinary rocks. While fighting in his Iron Man boxer shorts, which I call bullshit on. Everyone knows Tony Stark would have special-made boxers with his own face on them. Iron Man boxers are for everyone else.

Giant Days #54, by John Allison (writer), Max Sarin (artist), Whitney Cogar (color artist), Jim Campbell (letterer) - I don't remember if I threw my cap in the air at my high school graduation. I didn't attend the ceremony when I got either of my degrees. The fact I didn't have to was something I was very pleased about when my mom told me. Pay a bunch of money for a stupid gown and sit there sweating for hours to get a piece of paper that tells me something I already know? Hell with that.

Esther and Daisy bunk with Susan for the 6 weeks between the end of their classes and receiving their degrees. Esther didn't clear this plan with her parents before having them haul her stuff home, so that's awkward. When they notice the back tattoo she got first year they didn't know about either, that makes things worse. Also, her influence has got Susan thinking about stealing all the diplomas for herself. So many useless degrees! Ed got himself a haircut, and a job at a bank. Poor Ed, bad luck right to the end. Daisy got a job working on historic sites for the city council, but must avoid the tomb of Derek Dooley. Well now I have to know what's in it! There are tearful farewells and that's it, until next month's "One Year Later" one-off

Daisy's whole hypothesis about what could potentially end their friendship came from left field, but I've had some notions like that during conversations before, so I can't talk. I like that Allison touched on the recent passing of McGraw's father (part of the reason there was room for Esther and Daisy was he went home to help his mother for a while). That's not the sort of thing that just resolves itself quickly and neatly, not in the legal sense or the emotional one. Dean Thompson got a one-panel send off from Esther that was all he deserved, but not all that I wanted him to get.

Susan's video-game version of herself is hilarious, and the bizarre, mini-Susan Daisy envisions as a product of an affair between McGraw and Esther is adorable. If you set aside the part where she pictures them giving the child cigarettes. There's no way McGraw would be so irresponsible! There's one panel of Esther's mum freaking out about the tattoo where I love the postures. her mouth is wide open (as are her eyes), and her hands are in her hair, while Esther scrambles to put her dress on, and you can only see one big, embarrassed eyes peering out. It captures the moment so well. I am going to miss Max Sarin's artwork so much.

Robots and Empire - Isaac Asimov

The last book in the Robots series, so far as I know anyway, set 200 years after The Robots of Dawn. Elijah Baley is dead, but the man who's ambition he stymied in the previous story isn't (Spacers being extremely long-lived), and that guy is still determined to be rid of Earth, and eventually all the Settler Worlds that have been populated from it.

(The Spacer worlds were also originally populated by Earthmen, but the Spacers prefer to ignore that, or think of it as an unpleasant first step on the journey to their currently more evolved states.)

With Elijah not around, it falls to Baley's old partner Daneel, and Giskard, the empathic robot, to put a stop to the plot. If they can figure there is a plot, and if they can figure out what it is, and if they can somehow get around the First Law of Robotics prohibition against harming a human.

One thing that tripped me up on Robots of Dawn was that while I remembered Giskard had the ability to read and alter emotions and to a certain extent, memories, I associated it with this book, and didn't remember it factoring in to the earlier story. One thing I didn't remember about this book is how, to someone within the story, it would probably seem as though it was about Gladia, the Solarian woman Elijah helped twice, who gets dragged into investigating strange happenings on Solaria, and from there, sets her mind to trying to bridge the gap between Settlers and Spacers, to ensure a future for both groups. She's the one everyone believes saved the Settlers she was with on Solaria, she's making all these speeches, a Spacer willingly mingling with Settlers and Earthmen and whatnot.

And she is doing all those things (although having read the later Foundation books, I kind of know it doesn't come to much). But the real show is Daneel and Giskard, seemingly just tagging along in the background. When really, they're trying to piece things together and find a way to stop what's coming. Which unfortunately leads to a lot of pages of the two of them standing there talking to each other about what they think could be going on while Gladia isn't around. There's a lot of that, from a lot of characters. Mandamus explaining his whole plan and how he came to think of it, Vasalia going through this whole spiel about how she could have given Giskard mental powers as a child. Granting that Asimov's books tend to have a lot of people talking about process, in this book he kind tips the scale too far. There's too much explaining, and not enough happening.

I think the key with Baley was, Asimov was able to convey a sense of peril for Baley while he was trying to pull things together. Even if it was just in terms of being befuddled by Auroran bathrooms, or being worried about his career, there was some tension about if he was going to be able to hold it together long enough to put things together. And his thought processes were nonlinear enough that he didn't lay things out step-by-step. In some cases, we didn't even know what he'd figured out until he reveals it at the very end. Whereas Daneel and Giskard are discussing everything at leisure while Gladia sleeps, and laying it out, one step at a time. That might be a necessary approach to illustrate the differences in how they think from Baley, since they theoretically lack intuition, but it makes for a reading experience of having your hand held the whole way.

It also might not help that Asimov is trying more deliberately to tie what happens here to what eventually happens in the Foundation books. He's been dropping hints about a social science that predicts the actions of humans since at least The Naked Sun, but the idea of Psychohistory comes much more to the forefront here than in the previous books. So it feels as though there are winks and nods towards what we know happens in those later books, but they don't serve much purpose other than winks and nods.

Basically, not the strongest entry in the Robots series.

"The cars are thoroughly computerized," said D.G. "I take it that Spacer cars are not?"

"We have robots to drive them."

D.G. continued waving and Gladia followed his lead automatically. "We don't," he said.

"But the computer is essentially the same as a robot."

"A computer is not humanoid and it does not obtrude itself on one's notice. Whatever the technological similarities must be, they are worlds apart psychologically."

What I Bought 9/13/2019 - Part 1

Last Friday, after I picked up some comics, and while I was waiting for my dad (who was very late, naturally) to get back from running errands, I had the random urge to see how fast I could run. So without stretching first, I sprinted, and then I felt a pop in my hamstring and I ate it on the pavement. This is why I should stick to distance running.

Anyway, here's two comics from last week.

Gwenpool Strikes Back #2, by Leah Williams (writer), David Baldeon (artist), Jesus Arbutov (color artist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - I still don't think I've adjusted to Reed Richards with a beard. It looks strange.

Gwen enlists Deadpool's help to, I'm not sure actually. Her powers get her into the Fantastic Four's basement, and Wade is either trying to convince her that her idea to seduce a member of the FF for a cover image is a bad idea, or giving her the go-ahead to try it. I'm a little unsure which. Either way, she ends up in Reed's arms and Sue's wedding dress right as Sue walks in. Attempts to escape and/or fight don't go well, as Wade is being unusually stupid and/or random today, and they end up trapped inside a big bubble of Reed Richards. Where Gwen makes the mistake of mentioning she kind of unmasked Spider-Man last issue, and Wade decides to kill her.

Williams writes Wade as being a bit too silly all the time here. Like, if he's going to try to use fruit snacks against the Thing, it would be by offering them as a distraction or peace offering, not literally hitting in the chest with them. Unless it was a giant novelty weapon filled with them, I guess. He asks Gwen at one point whether she wants him to be the voice of reason or the agent of chaos here, and she says the former, but that doesn't seem like what he's doing. Unless he's trying to make a larger point about the viability of her getting an increased role in the Marvel Universe as someone who just shows up to cause mayhem with hijinks. Which is more Mr. Mxyspltz than Deadpool, but people do use Wade that way.

I do like that the FF seem more annoyed and perplexed by this than anything. Well, Sue gets a little angry when Gwen mentions Sue did make out or cuddle or something with Dr. Doom at some point. I don't understand the thing she does with her hands, which Wade did earlier when he thought she let slip she has a boyfriend. But otherwise, they're really just kind of confused by this. Although why they think the police can handle Deadpool I don't know. So Baldeon conveys that well, because none of the FF seem to be fighting particularly hard or intensely. Ben refuses to even get involved, which is a great reaction scene, even if the whole fruit snack thing is dumb. Once they capture them, they sit there and wait for the police to arrive while Gwen and Wade chat with each other in the big flesh cocoon Reed's got them in.

Black Cat #4, by Jed MacKay (writer), Travel Foreman (artist), Brian Reber (color artist), Ferran Delgado (letterer) - Wow, Johnny looks like such a tool there in the upper right. What a doofus.

So Black Fox' big plan is to steal all the accumulated wealth the New York Thieves' Guild take as a cut of everyone's jobs. But they store it in some pocket dimension, and to get in, they needed that deed to Manhattan and a book that Reed Richards has. And she's going to do this by contacting Johnny and flirting her way in, basically. I assume the Mad Thinker and the Wizard are kicking themselves for not coming up with this plan themselves. The idea is Felicia's guys pretend to be dilvering food she ordered, and she hands off the book while paying. Except someone posted a picture of her visiting Johnny on social media, and that security guy Sonny shows up and barges in. Felicia's guys chase him in to subdue him, Johnny shows up confused, and then Blastaar forces his way in through the Negative Zone portal. Felicia's bad luck powers are working on overdrive today.

I know I said this either last issue or the issue before, but this is what I want from a Black Cat book. Her stealing stuff, but taking advantage of the fact she's in the Marvel Universe, so the stuff she steals can be bizarre, and the problems she faces even more so. And MacKay is bringing in stuff from Immortal Iron Fist here, which is A-OK with me.

Plus there are a lot of little bits in here that liven things up. Johnny insisting on showing off the Fantasticar, which he designed and built, thank you. Korpse being a Jim Hammond fanboy and insisting Johnny has no right to call himself the Human Torch. Korpse gives Foreman the chance to draw some great demented expressions. That dude is intense. And it looks like the Black Fox is probably in some trouble with Dracula for ripping him off that one time. Which is a problem you face when you rip off someone who is theoretically immortal.

I like family photo on the wall of Reed playing the saxophone badly, based on Franklin's reaction. I knew Reed couldn't carry a tune. Also, I want to know which foe of the FF they confiscated the "Acme Mine Detector" from. Probably the Impossible Man. Felicia keeping the book hidden behind her back all through the last few pages of the issue, because Johnny's standing right there. I'm curious if she'll have to maintain that all through next issue, or if she'll be able to pass it to her associates. And if we'll get to see that when it happens, or if it'll happen between panels and we just hear about it after the fact.

Remember

Zev (Christopher Plummer) is trying to track down the blockfuehrer he and his friend Max (Martin Landau) hold responsible for the deaths of their families at Auschwitz. Max has figured out Otto Wallisch stole the identity of a person killed at the concentration camp, and has been hiding in North America for decades. He's narrowed him down to 4 people, all living under the name Rudy Kurlander.

Problem being, Max is on oxygen and confined to a wheelchair, and while Zev can get up and move alright, he has dementia. Reading that, it sounds like it could be a questionable comedy (I could see Adam Sandler making that movie, unfortunately), but it's not at all. Zev has a letter, written by Max, explaining everything. Including the fact that Zev is doing this now because his wife recently passed away and he promised he would. Max has also made all the plans as far as train tickets, hotels, cabs, everything, so Zev's inability to remember isn't an issue.

You know Zev isn't going to find the right person, if he finds them at all, until the last name on the list, but how things turn out at each other stop add to the film. Each one difficult or harrowing, especially the third stop where it looks as though Zev found him, but too late.

What sticks with me is the times Zev wakes up and doesn't have any idea where he is, or where Ruth is, or what's going on. My paternal grandmother had that same problem her last several years. The fact he has to keep learning over and over that Ruth has passed is gut-wrenching, because it doesn't seem as though he reads the letter and remembers, so much as he almost learns it for the first time again. So the emotional impact on him isn't lessened. I remember that from my dad having to explain to my grandmother that his brother had passed away (except it was about every half-hour for awhile.)

You can tell there's going to be a twist or surprise reveal at the end, just based on certain details at the beginning. I didn't guess correctly what it was, and the surprise we did get felt cheap. Unnecessary.

A Dark Trail - Chapter 8

Calvin followed the fiddle out the window, but where it fell to the parking lot below, he hopped onto a narrow ledge and scooted to the side. He was angry about getting shocked, not suicidal. 

Adrenaline and a desire to get clear caused him to almost overshoot and sail into empty space like the instrument, but he was able to regain his balance as electricity sparked and snapped out the window on his left and into the air. He made his way along the narrow path to the next hallway down, where he found the window was entirely intact. Over his shoulder, he saw his new best friend sticking his head out the window, scowling.

"Aw, crap."

Then the elderly-looking man was flying out the window, the fat end of Calvin's bat taking his place, one slim hand holding it tightly. For a moment the Electric Man seemed to cartwheel helplessly into space, until the electricity surged from his hands again. It reached back to the building, seeming to almost grasp the metal framework that ran along the exterior, then arcing back to its master. His descent slowed, then stopped, and he began to rise back to their level.

Having forgotten his own very exposed position, Calvin watched as the bat withdrew from his sight. Before the walking skeleton could follow, Cassanee leapt out to meet him. She kicked him squarely in the face, using him as a springboard to go higher, and she floated backwards enough to grab the edge of the roof with one hand. As the Electric Man again overcame gravity, Cass easily pulled herself up. He glared up at her, while the Lady in Orange looked down at him, no emotion showing.

For a few seconds, they held this stalemate. Then, with a little more power, he was launched above her, Cass darting back smoothly while he rained bolts of sheer power on her as he descended. Calvin continued down the ledge, trying to find some way to access the roof. 

Cassanee felt steadier here. Only a few AC units for cover, but the open roof offered far more room to maneuver than the close quarters of the hall and offices. Not that she would say she was winning, exactly. Getting close enough to strike was tricky. She couldn't tell that he had a recharge time, and didn't plan to take another direct hit to find out. She stayed to one side or the other, so it was more difficult for him to use both hands, since using both seemed to allow for stronger attacks and a wider range.

At least he hadn't been able to stay airborne. She'd be in real trouble if he claimed the high ground, she reflected, ducing behind an AC unit. A moment later, she darted back the direction she'd come, heading for more cover. She saw his right hand rise out of the corner of her eye, but she'd didn't slow her pace until after he decided where to aim, so he led her by too much. She turned 90 degrees, heading for him as his attack crackled ineffectually wide left.

He raised his left arm in response, and she adjusted smoothly to her right. Just enough to avoid any harm beyond her cloak getting singed, but not enough to divert her. She held the bat in one hand, letting it trail behind her just above the roof. She could bring it to bear in a full swing on any number of places on his emaciated body. She saw his eyes widen, and then the right hand was there, crossed over his left bicep, palm out. She was able to glide sideways as a wall of current erupted between them. The barrier unfortunately redirected her long enough he could bring his left arm back into the fray and she had to retreat.

Cassanee felt her teeth grind in frustration. She was faster than him, but he could cover such a wide range with little movement or effort. And he was on a section of roof with no cover nearby. Drawing him into an ambush was impossible. She started to wonder if she'd been better off in the maze of halls and offices after all. This was slightly outside her range of expertise.

"Hey! Heeeeey! Old Man! You gonna do your version of Fiddler on the Roof? Oh that's right, you ca - awk!" Calvin dropped back out of sight onto the fire escape. The metal fire escape. Crap. Well he couldn't be picky. He'd been lucky to even find this rickety thing around the corner of the building. Especially since he hadn't seen a way to access from inside. Maybe they renovated the building and left it behind?

At any rate, he'd reached the roof and tried to give Cass an opening the best way he could: being a smart ass. Well he got the guy's attention, but when Cass tried to capitalize, the Electric Man flung one hand to his side. His energy arced out and wrapped around an AC unit, pulling him that way. Cass' swing only grazed his left side. To her credit, she didn't break stride, flowing smoothly in a gentle arc that tracked his movement, and kept her between him and Calvin.

Calvin popped back up into view and flung the metal platter like a Frisbee. Focused on Cass as she looked for an opening, the Electric Man didn't notice the platter ricochet off the AC unit he was being drawn towards, and it collided solidly with his jaw. The current coming from his hand abruptly cut off, the upraised arm straightened out and jerked higher on some invisible puppet string.

The tray spun off in the direction of Cass, who let it drift over her shoulder as she darted in and struck the stunned man once in the face with the end of the bat. He flew backwards before he hit the roof and rolled another few feet.

Calvin walked up, holding the tray in one hand and shaking the other. "Captain America always makes catching it look so much easier. You have any rubber coils or insulation or anything?"

Cassanee's eyes stayed on their downed opponent. "He wears gloves. Rubber coils?"

"Yes, and he takes performance enhancers. And I mean something to absorb any electricity he tries to discharge."

She shook her head. "Nothing like that."

"Me neither. Should we try getting the others and leaving while the getting is good?"