Sunday Splash Page #445

"Priorities," in Bandette: The Six Finger Secret #1, by Paul Tobin (writer) and Colleen Coover (artist)

Bandette is not a series that utilizes splash pages. No doubt Bandette, the world's greatest thief, would find such things far too limiting. To be satisfied with a single large space to operate in, rather than many small panels from which she can appear and disappear, with almost Looney Tunes-esque defiance of laws of motion? What an absurd notion!

I am inconsistent with titles that were or are a string of mini-series. I've done a lot of the individual Atomic Robo minis, but one post for all of Dave Stevens' Rocketeer stuff, and one for all of Adventures of Dr. McNinja. But my original Sunday Splash Page on Bandette was rather more abbreviated than I would have liked. 

In my defense, I was out of sorts after the tornado that left me living at my father's house, my comic collection piled atop itself in one of the less-cluttered rooms of his house. Tobin and Coover have released two more volumes of Bandette since that post, so I say we're doing this.

So, Bandette. World's greatest thief. Lover of chocolates and art and cats and her little dog Pimento and harassing chain-smoking police officers. A young woman with, a complicated and scandalous lineage, the details of which I can't keep straight. Most every story makes some reference to her ancestors having posed for a sculpture or having deep alliances with the circus or something of that sort.

She is, as presented by Tobin and Coover, almost a mythological trickster figure. Brightly garbed, dramatic just for the fun of it. Always playing a game with people, carrying on monologues as she casually avoids attempts on her life from a variety of weirdos. Backflipping across car roofs while pursued by ninjas without ever breaking her thread of conversation with the mysterious underworld figure who sent the ninjas, or casually eating chocolate while walking across a wire between two buildings.

Even her friends and allies, and she has several people who drop everything to aid her, are often confused. She disappears from one side of a panel, only to reappear from the opposite side of the next panel. Steals the shoes off her rival's feet without his noticing, while he's driving. Pauses in the middle of explaining the history of some mysterious ring to answer the door for a cookie delivery. Even when she seems cross, it feels feigned, irritation with someone foolish who doesn't see the obvious. Like she's dealing with a child.

When I think about it, she's Bugs Bunny and everyone else is Elmer Fudd. Her opponents think they're competing with her for some specific prize, a painting or a secret. The outcome of that was never in doubt. Bandette was already at the finish line before they even started. No, Bandette's concerned with some more intangible goal. A matter of the heart, usually. The prize everyone else is chasing is just a carrot on a stick she uses to create the outcome she wants.

Which, admittedly, irks me at times. I've mentioned before I'm not a fan of stories where the protagonist or antagonist knew everything a character had planned before they even tried and perfectly countered it. That is very much in effect here, especially by volume 5. Bandette seemingly could have nipped The Voice's entire plan in the bud right from the start, as she had it all mapped out and knew everything he was going to do.

I suppose it doesn't bother as much as it did with, for example, Al Ewing's New Avengers, because Tobin and Coover are using their own characters, not someone else's. Also, Bandette does have some ulterior motive she's driving at that accounts for why she's doing things her way. Double-also, her tales, despite the frequent attempts of murder and blackmail, are generally light-hearted. Even if what The Voice or Absinthe seek could be extremely harmful to innocent people, there's no real risk. Bandette's operating on a different level from them. The stories are more about the fun she has along the way than the MacGuffin.

Coover's Paris is a perfect dramatic backdrop, full of steep roofs with chimneys for people to step dramatically from behind. Wires to use like a trapeze, old buildings full of secret passages and rooms. Seemingly an endless supply of cemeteries for tense meetings and museums with things for her to steal. Narrow alleys for ominous footsteps to echo through and make a person feel trapped, but also enough broad streets to have car chases on. Advantage of a city that's grown and expanded across centuries I suppose. Can be a lot of things.

It's a cute series. Charming, maybe. The things that should irritate me more, don't. It's hard to hold a grudge against someone enjoying life as much as Bandette.

Saturday Splash Page #247

"Dirty Laundry," in Total Suplex of the Heart, by Joanne Starer (writer), Ornella Greco (artist), Nathan Kempf (letterer)

Georgie is a writer for a pop-culture website, when she gets the idea of writing an article about a local hardcore wrestling league. The angle being that she's going to be part of the show, as a valet. She doesn't understand what she's getting into, but finds herself hooked on the experience. Making friends, performing in front of a screaming crowd (though what they're screaming isn't necessarily all that great.) And there's a lot of hot guys for her to make terrible decisions with.

That's a lot of this graphic novel, Georgie making terrible decisions. Sometimes with good intentions, like when she works really hard to support her boyfriend Steve's career by playing homemaker or acting as a one-woman ticket booth and concession stand for one of his shows. She's trying to be a good partner, be supportive and helpful, without noticing she's making all the compromises. She's pushed down any thoughts of her life or her desires in favor of Steve's routine and his dreams. 

And if she finds herself questioning that, she feels bad. Because guilt is another big part of this. She's often very cheerful and friendly, gets along well with guys. People make assumptions about her as a result, and when she draws lines, when she decides she is not, in fact, comfortable climbing up on stage with an exotic dancer and making out with her for the entertainment of her male coworkers, she feels awkward and guilty about drawing that line, or being perceived a certain way The guilt usually drives her into one terrible decision or another - binging on high-fiber snacks, sleeping with complete assholes - and then she feels guilty or embarrassed about that. The cycle begins anew.

Her mother only appears in one scene, via video chat at the very beginning of the book, but we can't underestimate her impact on Georgie. In between criticizing her for not making time to call and not having a real job, she does compliment Georgie for working to stay in shape. She wouldn't want to end up like Aunt Sadie, who Georgie points out is happily married with two kids and millions of dollars. Her mother's rebuttal? 'But she's fat.' Oh well, then Sadie's whole life has been a waste.

Later, there's a scene of Georgie trying on a possible new look for her ring attire, and the first panel is the reality of how she looks, while the second, much less flattering panel, is how Georgie perceives herself. Starer and Greco don't use that more than once, but you can see it in how Georgie acts throughout. Never seeing herself positively, amplifying all her faults and blaming herself for things. 

It isn't all a downer. Georgie does find several people who believe in her and support her idea she can build something herself. (Starer admits in the afterword it took her an additional year to reach the point Georgie does in the story, and longer to start to confront her body image issues.) Her own promotion, her own life, that doesn't require her to throw everything she cares about away for someone else. There are lots of scenes or her sitting around with other wrestlers or promoters, laughing or dishing gossip, and once she finds her footing, Georgie really loves pro wrestling, in spite of all the sexism, racism, homophobia, etc.

Greco doesn't get to draw a ton of action, since so much of the plot happens outside the ring, in homes or bars. When there is action, the art captures the athleticism of the people involved. Someone taking a knee to the nose, or flinging their opponent over their head. The art captures the near-superhuman physiques of several of the wrestlers, plus their sheer size. Georgie barely reaches pec height on some of the guys.

The art captures all the sides of Georgie's personality. The playful, loud part, that'll catcall a guy or joke around with her friends. The quietly happy part that genuinely enjoys cuddling with her boyfriend, where her expressions and emotions are smaller and gentler. The vulnerable part where she opens up to people and shows what's eating her, even if she doesn't intend to. Where she's asking for help, but not really hearing what they're saying. And the times when she shrinks in on herself, hunched up on the couch in a hoodie and draped in a blanket, hating herself.

Here's my original review from February. 

What I Bought 6/17/2026

I've been using the TV to watch Youtube lately. Drawback, it doesn't have an ad blocker and, for some reason, over half the ads are for Iowa political races. I don't in live in Iowa. On the plus side, this means I have no stake, so I don't get depressed about what the candidates represent and what they chose to highlight as their positive qualities!

I only found one of the three books for this week. Which wasn't a surprise, but I could have used a pleasant surprise after a 3-day inspection trip in completely miserable weather. Also, i can't decide if it's a good or bad thing none of the stores around here ever have Chachu. Is it popular and constantly selling out, or did none of them order it? 

Marc Spector: Moon Knight #8, Jed MacKay (writer), Devmalya Pramanik (artist), Rachelle Rosenberg (color artist), Cory Petit (letterer) - Clea looks oddly happy on that cover. Should anyone be that pleased to be hanging out with Daredevil and Blade? She needs to get out more often.

A flashback reveals that during Marc's disastrous solo attempt to rescue his crew, the Mansion made him an offer. Bring it souls, and get his friends back. Hence, the double-cross on Blade, Rider, and DD. The Mansion, predictably, does not honor its terms, claiming it never specified how many souls he needed to deliver. But that's fine, because getting it to accept the three Midnight Sons leaves it vulnerable to the fact that terms refers to a ritual, not a team. Um, is that true? I never read all that '90s supernatural Marvel stuff.

That frees everyone. Marc's crew, the three he betrayed, and - well, we'll get to that. Tigra's very happy to see Marc. While it's not really in keeping with the tone of the rest of the issue, I do love that Pramanik drew Tigra's tail as wrapping around Marc and flicking excitedly.

The other Midnight Sons are somewhat less happy, though Blade puts it together the Mansion would have read their thoughts once they were taken, so it had to be genuine. I noted that when Marc is initially explaining, he's looking at his crew, and not, you know, the people he actually betrayed. Guess he can live with them being pissed - as long as they don't kill him - but not with Reese and the others hating him for doing something like that on their behalf.

The Mansion isn't dead, but Marc's got an army with him, courtesy of all the people the Mansion took, freed along with the costumed types. Clea pulls out some spell that gives everyone magic weapons. Daredevil got an axe, and is immediately testing its sharpness against his finger, what the heck, Matt? Tigra got a chainsaw, though, so Clea clearly knew who Marc would want to have the best toy. And now the Midnight Militia are ready to get to work.

Plus, there's still whoever is Marc's ace in the hole. Clea mentions a last ally who will help them escape. Which makes me a think teleporter, or portal creator. I kind of want it to be The Spot, but I figure magic is probably needed so, Illyana? Guess we'll see next month.

Mars on Earth - Mark Johanson

Johanson starts the book by discussing how NASA uses Chile's Atacama Desert as a testing ground for equipment they send to Mars, as the aridity, soil chemistry and the levels of ultraviolet radiation. But the book isn't really about that.

Johanson does spend a fair amount of time describing what traveling up and down, back and forth, through the Atacama does to him. The way it dries out his lips, the way his skin cracks from the wind and the sun, the way his eyes bulge and sinuses bleed as he travels into the high mountain regions of the desert. But the book isn't about how empty the Atacama is, but how much there is there, and how much a part of Chile's history it is.

In that regard, it was a fascinating read for someone that doesn't know a whole lot about Chile beyond what I picked up in the those books about the (U.S.-orchestrated) fall of the Allende government in the 1970s. Especially in regards to the various Indigenous peoples that lived there long before Europeans ever showed up. The oldest known examples of people mummifying the deceased are from the Chinchorro people in northern Chile, who were doing so at least 7000 years ago. The increased rains brought about by climate change are steadily unearthing new mummies. Some whose faces were preserved as is, others were painted with red clay or blue, while some are adorned with masks showing a variety of expressions.

(Also, the mummification seems to have started during a period when their was high infant mortality because the river they were living near and drinking from was extremely high in arsenic. Now, the people who still live there have an inherited tolerance for arsenic.)

Earlier in the book, and further south, he travels to the eastern border, to a town beneath a mountain called Licancabur, and meets with a married couple who are of the Likan Antai. One of the things they describe is that they have constellations made not just of the stars, but of the darkness between the stars. Like, negative space constellations, each meaning something different, and the intensity of the message depends on how well-defined they are.

There were a lot of passages and experiences he relates like that. Maybe they're old hat to those more versed in the history Latin America, but it was all new to me. And there's also more recent history, like the struggles of the workers of the European-owned mines to unionize in the early 20th Century, or a particular coastal town known for a brutal prison that future dictator Augusto Pinochet commanded earlier in his career, and which he'd later use to disappear dissidents once he rose to power.

Or, on a somewhat lighter note, how the British who came looking to mine nitrate (guano) passed along the concept of elevenses, except Chileans have turned it into a late afternoon meal called "once" (Spanish for thirteen), with regional variations in what sort of foods you have with the tea. The tea may also be spiked with something stronger, as that's apparently what the miners did on the sly back in the day.

The other part of the book, interwoven with Johanson learning about this vast desert in a country he's lived in for 7 years, is him trying to figure out what he's going to do. He settled here with the boyfriend he met in New Zealand, after years of a vagabond, traveling writer lifestyle. But is that what he really wants? Is he doing this desert expedition to better know his partner's home country (and the country Mark is descended from, though he was born in the U.S.), or is it a way to start breaking ties by putting distance between them?

I'm not sure that aspect of the book works as well. Maybe because it's such a personal thing for him, it feels like he struggles to describe what he's figuring out as he goes along. Or maybe it's me, as it doesn't really resonate. I'm a solitary sort, certainly more than Mark, and also not the type to just travel to a country with whatever money I've got and see how long I can stay there. The particular push-and-pull he's feeling doesn't necessarily strike a chord. I can't see how what he's seeing and experiencing in the Atacama is tipping the scales one way or the other for his decision.

Also, because he's trying to set the stage for that theme of the book, it takes a while before he actually gets into the desert. Initially, he's discussing mass protests in the capital where he and Felipe live, started by a student protest over increased metro fares, that help to oust an ineffectual, billionaire friendly president. The hopes of getting a new constitution, one voted on by the actual people of Chile, instead of one created by a handful of economists who thought neoliberalism was the cure-all, are impeded by the strain of enforced isolation and confinement, not to mention the economic pressure, brought on by COVID.

All that's important for establishing Johanson's state of mind. The fear, the stress, the uncertainty about his future, and why he takes the opportunity to flee into what appears from the outside (even within Chile) a forbidding and lifeless desert. A place where you can get out of the house, and not have to worry about social distancing, because there's hardly anyone around. A place well-distant from many of those concerns, because there are more immediate ones. Like if there's going to be water for your well if the aquifers keep getting drained to mine lithium.

But it did leave me wondering, initially, when he was going to start talking about the desert in his book about the desert. FYI, it's 57 pages in, about 20% of the way into the book.

'The horizon broadens as I veer slightly inland near Totoral, offering more sand and less rock, more shrubs and fewer cacti. Where it was once a study in the color brown, now everything is blazingly white. The aridity hits me at full force, and it becomes a stupefying drive. There are no dust balls rolling across the road, as in the American Southwest; rather, it's a raw rugged nothingness with only the sunlight to hold things together.'

Overdue Movies Reviews #16 - Pitch Black (2000)

A transport ship passes through the tail of a comet in a deserted trinary star system and crash lands on a rocky hellscape of a moon, orbiting an enormous ringed gas giant. Only a handful of the 40 passengers survive, mostly due to the navigation officer refusing to let the first officer dump them in an attempt to make a better landing. (The captain was killed in his cryo-pod by some of the micro-meteorites that punctured the hull.)

But the nav officer didn't buckle his seatbelt, so he didn't survive. Which leaves First Officer Fry (Radha Mitchell), a couple of prospectors, an antiquities dealer, a teen traveling alone, a priest (Keith David) on a pilgrimage with his three sons, and a bounty hunter (Cole Hauser). Oh, and the bounty hunter's prisoner, one Richard B. Riddick (Vin Diesel). Murderer, escaped convict. Emphasis on "escaped," because he's on the loose.

Of course, the satellite they've landed on is pretty inhospitable. No visible water, no trees. No nightfall, as there's always either the red-orange pair or their blue third wheel in the sky, if not all three. There are skeletons of enormous creatures in a vast plain, but no sign of any living specimens, or any other life. Maybe just let Riddick stay escaped? An entire ashtray of a planet to himself.

They find a mining outpost, abandoned. This solves the water issue, and if they can get some power cells from their ship, there's a dropship that will at least get them off this rock. If they can get them before the planet's remaining inhabitants come out to feast.

Is this Vin Diesel's big break? Iron Giant was the year before, but it was an animated movie so his voice was in it, but necessarily him. Saving Private Ryan the year before that, but he's a supporting character. The birth of the legend that is Dom Toretto is still a year away. I don't think Boiler Room did much for him. Riddick as a character relies a lot on Diesel's physical presence. That he's a big guy, that he can glare intensely, or offer an unsettling smile. It fits with Riddick's initial monologue about how the only part of your brain still aware in cryo-sleep is the low, animal part, and that's why he's still awake.

Because Riddick is, or is playing at, an animal. The "shine-job" on his eyes, allowing him to see in the dark, that glow like those of an animal with tapetum lucidum. The way he gently encourages Fry to come closer, then lunges like a guard dog on a chain. The bit where he covertly cuts a lock of her hair and sniffs it. Dislocating both his shoulders to escape, like a fox chewing off its leg to escape a snare. He speaks with his body; you can't trust the voice because he's trying hard not to let anything slip that way. Everything is a growled accusation, or a smart-ass remark delivered with a sneer. When he tries to mockingly laugh at Fry's accusation that he's afraid, he can't even manage a convincing laugh (he also leans back a bit, like she jabbed at him with knife or something.)

All that works to Diesel's strengths. The few moments where he needs to emote a little more, not so much. OK, really it's just the scene when Fry dies and he tries for a distressed?, anguished? cry of 'Not for me!' Actually, the part right before that, when Fry is trying to stand him up and get him walking, is good, and it relies on body language. Riddick doesn't try to lean on Fry for support so much as collapse into her arms. Which could be exhaustion after dragging all those power cores, fighting Johns, killing some of the creatures. But he flings his arms around her, and with their relative positions, Fry has to do the same. They end up in an embrace. Not romantic, more like a comforting hug, something it doesn't sound like Riddick - 'found in a dumpster with an umbilical cord around my neck' - has gotten much of in his life.

I enjoy the look of the landscape, especially in the scenes when the blue star is shining. Everything washes out to this almost blinding white, like everyone is directly under an incredibly bright spotlight. It really makes the planet seem dry, like there's so much heat sweat would evaporate instantly. Along with the bleached skeletons they find, and those immense, termite mound-like, spires the creatures make, that look so formidable, but are easy to break through. Just dry as dust.

Some of the CGI isn't great, the green screens when the characters are in the foreground of shots with the planet or the stars are jarring. The creatures' hands always seem strange to me, though I guess they're meant to have evolved for grasping, so the teeth or tail can deliver a finishing blow. The biologist in me wonders about the creatures evolving wings on a planet with such thin air, but maybe the heat creates updrafts to keep them aloft.

Even after the eclipse begins, though? But it doesn't seem like that prison planet from the second Riddick movie, where one side is an inferno, the other an ice box, so there must be some normal heat retention. The creatures are very thin, though I don't think their bones are hollow like a bird's, given one was trying to headbutt its way through a skeletal backbone to get at Jack. As always, the biology and climatology of worlds in Riddick movies fascinates me.

The story revolves around the Fry/Johns/Riddick trio. Fry, who was prepared to make a ruthless decision to save, at best, 2 lives at the cost of 40, and is now struggling to save the survivors as a form of penance. Johns, the lawman who is ultimately self-serving and dishonorable. Riddick the criminal that has given up on things like trust or support because the world has never shown any to him.

Johns makes Riddick an offer, help them escape this planet, and he'll go free. An offer Johns has no intention of honoring. Riddick surely knows this, but is willing to play along. Fry is the one in the middle, the other two tugging her their way (even though their ways are the same.) Riddick mentions Johns' morphine habit, that he didn't offer any to let the nav officer die in peace. Johns mentions Riddick can pilot a ship like the one they plan to use, that's how he made his last escape, and the crew didn't survive.

It isn't so much Fry's decision is relevant to how things play out between Johns and Riddick themselves. The two meatheads were always going to settle that personally. It's more what decision she makes. Does she honor the deal with Riddick, because he's honored his side? Does she leave him to die, because she fears he'll kill her? Does she make the choice to save herself, and abandon the survivors alongside Riddick? Prioritize her own, higher, chance of survival, versus the lower possibility she can save the others?

She's already done that last one once, and had her unwitting, prospective victims thank her for saving them. It eats at her. Mitchell moves through the movie like someone carrying an invisible 50-kilo sack on her back. Constantly exhausted, hair stuck to her forehead in a way that has to be irritating. Leaning against things or away from people. The guilt eats at her more every time she's praised, and drives her to desperation to try and save people she quite likely doesn't even really care about, when she has only the vaguest idea what she's doing. Fry understands ships enough to know how they can get the one they find in the air. Everything else? She's winging it. That makes having all these people rely on her even worse, especially when unforeseen circumstances - the rain, Jack's monthly cycle - create complications.

Johns and Riddick are the only two (alive) that know the truth. Each of them use it, too, in different ways. Johns uses it to undercut Fry when she tries getting on her high horse. The charming, noble protector veneer Hauser gave Johns up to then falls away, and we see someone that fights to win, whatever it takes. Maybe he learned that from Riddick shanking him in the back, or maybe it's something he always had.

In contrast, Riddick is gentle. He tries to coax Fry onto the jump-ship, to forget about Jack and Imam, and leave with him. Maybe there's a hint of mockery in him to start, but as the conversation progresses, I think he comes to first pity, then resent, her. In the former, it's how broken she seems about her inner conflict. Wanting to survive, but not wanting to hate herself for abandoning people. So he encourages her to do what he would. Survive. Even offers her a hand, then steps out of the ship to guide her in.

Eventually though, the fact she won't leave them digs at him. It's a little like The Killing Joke, only instead of it being a "one bad day" thing, Riddick wants confirmation that given the choice, other people would make the same decision as him, and think only of themselves. If Fry does it, then Riddick is fine. It's not just him, the universe really is as selfish and terrible as he claims as he sees it when he and Imam discuss God. But when she keeps insisting on going back, that means maybe it's just him that's the asshole. You don't have to always distrust kindness and cloak yourself in cynicism. Instead of Riddick pulling her into his way of seeing things, she pulls him the other direction.

Hit Reset

Seen that before. Guy ties the knot and it's like he forgets everyone else in his life. 

The 8th volume of No Longer Allowed in Another World is about most of the cast coming to realize the troubles of their world go deeper than the Seven Fallen Angels.

After Archbishop Elton's transformation and rampage in the previous volume, Annette has questions for His Holiness. They stop in the village Annette where vaguely remembers growing up (ominous statement), but find it almost deserted. All the men huddled in a single cabin, in deep depression because their wives are bewitched by an Otherworlder. The same Otherworlder that promptly captures Tama.

(This marks another volume where writer Hiroshi Nota doesn't really have anything for Tama to do. Outside a couple of cheap gags, she might as well not even be there.)

Annette goes alone to confront the "Fallen Angel of Lust", whose ability allows her to seize people's memories, making them into an easily controllable puppet. Annette, remembering what Sensei said about her not being a caged bird, resists, breaking free about the time Sensei shows up, excited to be dissolved by this strange power he heard about from Diantha, the only young elf woman in the village not bewitched. Significantly, Diantha's also the only young elf woman in the village not married.

The Fallen Angel's attempt to use her power on Sensei backfires. I think because his soul is too bleak? When she enters his thoughts, it's just a dark void. Or else he's so nosy his will overwhelms hers and he ransacks her memories instead. In this volume's tragic flashback, Eliza was a child TV star. Boys constantly hit on her, then insulted her for not responding. Girls assume she's sleeping with the guys and treat her horribly. Her one friend is a shy girl who draws a comic about a girl who looks like Eliza and is transported to a high fantasy world to become friends with an elf girl. But when Midori's boyfriend assaults Eliza, Midori blames Eliza for it. Enter the old Isekai Jackpot Truck.

Eliza joined the other Fallen Angels and was sent to conquer the elves, but made friends with Diantha instead. Diantha just wants to craft jewelry, but is constantly hounded to marry some douchebag man-elf. When they trashed her workshop, Eliza decided it was time to get down to business.

Sensei having seen all this while poking through Eliza's memories like a dirtbag private investigator, is disgust by the locals claiming their village is full of love. The wives, understandably, are not inclined to take the word of a woman who enslaved them, and insist their husbands did nothing wrong. Eliza probably made their husbands intimidate Diantha and wreck her workshop as a method of intimidation and coercion! So Diantha takes Eliza and they leave the village together.

So Eliza's better future is to stay here. This only makes the fact Yuriko and her sister were sent home even more curious. Their happy future involves being sent back to a world where the sister is always very ill (she was healthy in Zauberberg) and Yuriko's entire future is thrown away playing caretaker because the parents were too lazy to do it themselves? I don't get what kind of point Nota is trying to make there.

Still, with another crisis dealt with - sort of; the village's tendency to impose harsh expectations upon the women to conform to certain roles hasn't been addressed - everyone converges on His Holiness. Sensei and his crew, the remaining Fallen Angels, Annette's colleagues Ysha and Wolff (also suspicious after what happened to Elton), and the Dark Lord's daughter, Waldelia. Certainly feels like time for the big showdown, but there's not much fighting.

The leader of the Fallen Angels says they were ordered to kill the Dark Lord by the Pope. Once it was done, he made them the new boogeyman, and is using Sensei to remove them. This is a piss-poor argument considering the people he's talking to, like us, know only one (Yuriko) of the 4 Fallen Angels was sent away. Tama killed the cannibal. The other two are still roaming this world. Plus, there's all the Otherworlders who simply abused their abilities for their own gain. Why weren't they being ordered to defeat the Dark Lord? Well the guy has the hairstyle of a mob lawyer and eyes like a vampire. Clearly not to be trusted.

Meanwhile, the Pope's pitching Sensei on using his Cheat to help fix this world by expelling the Otherworlders. Predictably, this bombs, all the more when Sacchan shows up and uses her "Pride" Cheat to bind Sensei to her. While Annette seems able to briefly shake the hold on Sensei, the Pope shows off his own power, resetting things to when Sensei first arrived in this world. Only this time, he and Sacchan arrive together, Sensei still bound by her power.

Sunday Splash Page #444

"No Pleasure Cruise," in Babs #4, by Garth Ennis (writer), Jacen Burrows (artist), Andy Troy (colorist), Rob Steen (letterer)

A 6-issue mini-series about a barbarian (former?) princess roaming a medieval fantasy realm, albeit filtered through Garth Ennis' particular sensibilities. Meaning profanity, graphic violence rendered by Burrows and Troy, and juvenile humor. Like Babs being introduced riding through a forest, grumbling and cursing, and it turns out to be because a chainmail top really chafes one's tits.

Babs has a magic sword, Barry, whose only special ability is he can talk. Oh, and his guard can act as little hands, though he doesn't do much with them besides gesticulate wildly and flip people off. Usually Babs, who grumbles about his uselessness, but doesn't get rid of him.

Her history, to the extent we can trust the accounts gathered by the geeks she beat the crap out of one night in the tavern, is of winning great wealth through some feat of killing or theft, only to lose said wealth in some idiotic way. Steal a necro-ruby by kicking the witch that held it into her own acid pit, gamble it away the next day. Make a fortune killing some troll king, lose it all on ill-advised real estate ventures. Based on what we see here, I have to question the geeks' research, because this Babs doesn't seem like she can plan or successfully pull off much of anything. She mostly just wings it. Maybe that's why she keeps losing her money.

Her friend Izzy's not much better off, as we see her steal an overweight dragon's hoard, only to have to pay it all in damages to a group of leprechauns (called something I'm not typing here) she plowed through with her chariot during the escape. Lots of blood, lots of little, green-clad limbs flying here and there. There's also Colin Culpepper, a useless goober of a knight that goes on (and on, and on) about purity and how he will protect any fair maiden. He also got knocked out by a bunch of orcs, one of whom took a dump in his helmet (because Garth Ennis), and the "holy flame" of his magic sword is just lamp oil.

To the extent there's a plot beyond Babs roaming about and getting in the middle of stuff, a guy in gleaming white armor called Tiberius Toledo and his knights of 'unblemished virtue', are convincing all the humans they'll be a lot better off once all these other races - dwarves, hobbits, etc., - are gotten rid of. And Tiberius will take care of that. He'll also take most of the townspeople's stuff while he's at it.

Despite half their group consisting of an orc, a goblin, and a troll, the geeks decide to help Tiberius. By providing the information they've spent their lives compiling, ranking (via a 10-point system for different attributes!) and arguing about. Very subtle, Ennis. Should I assume they'll soon have an Official Handbook of the Babs-verse, or a Who's Who? in the Babs-verse?

The geeks are led by Mork the Orc, a pencil-necked, spiteful loser who wants things to go back to how they used to be, when guys were always in charge, and who blames his lot in life on unseen forces keeping him down. Mork is the type insecure enough to buy a dick-enlarging potion (kept in a little blue vial), but too afraid of an ironic outcome to actually use it.

He and his cronies initially object to Babs because they thought she was some other barbarian princess that killed her father and took his clothes and his name. After she kicked all their asses, it was because she was part of the Deep Realm, a mysterious group conspiring to keep dudes like Mork from getting the money and women they're owed. To him, Tiberius will put things right, and get Mork on top where he belongs. That Tiberius doesn't give a shit about him or what he wants is not something Mork is capable of figuring out any time soon.

Again, Ennis not going for subtle. Which is fine, as long as it's funny, and it mostly is. Not laugh out loud - I laughed a lot more at Touched by a Demon - but I at least grin, or utter an amused snort. Burrows treads the line where the violence can be gory, but still exaggerated enough to be funny. Babs stopping in the middle of interrogating a guy by jamming a crossbow bolt up his nose to argue with Barry, who's complaining about being left stuck in the ground like a common shovel.

In the final confrontation with Tiberius, despite her plan not working at all, Babs ultimately wins the battle. I don't think anyone won the war, but definitely not her. Which, I suppose, is why she usually works for hire. Killing assholes for her own revenge, let alone based on some principle, just doesn't pay. Action is not her reward, and half a chicken isn't cutting it either.

There is a second mini-series, which was supposed to finish in June. The penultimate issue doesn't come out until this Wednesday, so who knows when it'll actually conclude. Not sticking to the schedule was an issue for this mini-series as well, but I don't know know the reason. Maybe they should switch to soliciting it as every other month? 

Saturday Splash Page #246

"Bucket List," in Touched by a Demon #4, by Kristen Gudsnuk

Bifrons was an angel who left Heaven alongside Lucifer. Now he's an Earl of Hell, the equivalent of middle management. Stuck making cursed geometry textbooks (redundant) for an unimaginative boss (Mammon), who won't give his idea of taking the broken shards of evil in the souls they break and combining them a proper hearing, because it's too complicated.

So, nerts to all that! Frons, and his assistant Pazuzu, will start their own realm of damnation, with blackjack, and hookers! Actually he decides to slip away to Earth and start a life coaching agency. Frons reasons, if he can help enough souls, perhaps God will forgive him and let him back into Heaven. 

Unfortunately, millennia spent in Hell torturing humans, preceded by however long in Heaven, with no concept of happiness or despair, has left Frons ill-suited to the task of actually helping humans. As Pazuzu puts it at one point, she has no moral opinions. I still don't know if she means she has no opinions that are moral, or that, when it comes to matters of morality, she simply has no opinions, period. Immoral versus amoral, neither is perhaps the best foundation for helping people with their problems.

What's touching is Frons and Zuzu really try. They're not incapable of empathy or concern. Their first client is a 16-year-old girl whose parents regard her as an organ farm to keep her older, terminally ill, sister clinging to life. Nothing Wendy does gains her parents' affection, or even their notice. All that matters is she's available to provide spare parts for a girl who, based on what Gudsnuk shows us in both the present and flashbacks, will never be more than a pale, non-responsive, sickly shell.

Zuzu and Frons agree Wendy's parents are terrible, and it's lousy of them to make her feel like she should want to be sick, because then they might care about her, or to treat her like she's only worth loving as long as she lets them cut out parts of herself. But then Zuzu mentions they should let the sister die. Frons adds that the parents deserve to die, too. Then Wendy could inherit all their money and this big house! Annnnnnnnnnd, Wendy kills her parents and sister that night, damning her soul. Whoops

But now Frons and Zuzu have a new receptionist, who is happy to get room and board working for a couple of demons. Win some, lose some. Mostly lose, to be honest. Their subsequent attempt to help a man be a better husband so he can get his family back ends disastrously, and while their next client seems fulfilled, the tools they give him to accomplish that result in the death and damnation of dozens.

It's an odd mini-series, as it feels like Gudsnuk ended it early. A detective looks into the disappearance of Wendy and her family (whose bodies Frons hid in the graves of people who died 150 years ago), and visits their office the same time Mammon shows up. That's in the last issue, so despite the cop's clear suspicion that something is wrong - Wendy's not very good at lying on the fly - nothing comes of it. Frons strikes up a friendship with a local priest, Father Angelo, who looks into the idea of whether a demon could be redeemed, not realizing he's talking to a fallen angel. It felt like Gudsnuk was leaning towards Frons having a crush on Angelo, but maybe that's just me spending too much time on the Internet.

Despite all the death and damnation, it's a touching story. Frons gathers this peculiar little group around him of people he tried to help, to varying degrees of success. He gave up his lyre to get Pazuzu out of a miserable existence as Beleth's assistant 500 years ago. He offers Wendy a place after she commits triple homicide. Pazuzu may not really care about helping humans in general, but likes Frons as a boss and wants to help him, and forms an instant attachment to Wendy. Wendy, while being understandably anxious about her situation, does her best to help and forms a bond with their other assistant, an influencer who died in prison and whose ghost inhabits a speaker box.

There's a bit of light at the very end, as Frons stops trying to solve his clients' problems with magic, and help them come to a measure of peace with their circumstances. I feel like they tried that with Sergio in issue 2. I guess the difference between that and how they worked with Delilah in issue 4 was, they didn't show Sergio that the work he was doing on himself had value, even if he didn't get what he desired. So, when it didn't work out how he hoped, Sergio saw no value in anything and reacted really badly.

And yet, I also found it hilarious. Zuzu's glee at things like keeping the possessions of bodies they dispose of, alternating with her frustration at yet another human messing things up. The third issue, Frons decides to just give the client a Chimp's Paw, so he can wish for what will make him feel fulfilled. This is a terrible idea, but Pazuzu is stunned when it goes disastrously. (That was another end left dangling, she never got back around to killing Max.) The lies they try to concoct to keep the detective from suspecting anything. That skull-faced person who appeared in a burst of fire was actually an illusionist! A client! In demonic makeup!

I'm probably not supposed to find Sergio's end funny, but something about the sharp turn it takes, the way he turns his love into something destructive, while Frons, Zuzu and Wendy look on in horror, then scramble for damage control, cracks me up. Gudsnuk's art style is tailored towards those broad, exaggerated expressions, so comical dismay or anger is pretty easy.

She often adds words that describe what the person is trying to express, almost like sound effects. Instead of BIFF or POW, you get "inspire" in rainbow colors, or "unmoved" in lowercase, dark black lettering. I'm not sure it's necessary; her art and dialogue are good enough to convey the feeling, but Gudsnuk seems to like it. Maybe she feels it adds impact?

I don't know if she ever intends to return to it, but I'd like to see more. I think there was some tension in whether Frons could actually stick to the formula he found in the final issue, or if he'd surrender to temptation and take the quicker route, or frustration and abandon the project entirely. 

Random Back Issues #175 - Daredevil #260

Daredevil's having a great day! He's over his infatuation with that strumpet Mary Walker, he and Karen Page are very much in love. Why, he might even march in the anti-nuke rally today! What could go wrong?

Spongebob Narrator Voice: Three Minutes Later. . .

Bullet jumps DD as he's crossing the rooftops. He speaks in riddles, saying he's attacking Daredevil because he exists, that his punches are 'kisses from someone who loves him'. Matt contemplates just walking away. The fight has no point, why not just leave? But Bullet's next charge sends him careening off the edge of the roof, into the anti-nuke parade, so now DD feels committed.

The crowd is split on this development. A few insist Daredevil protects the streets. Others counter he's only protection in the way nuclear warheads are a deterrent, that guys like Daredevil and Bullet are really fighting over nothing, just stupid territorial spats. Ann Nocenti is nothing if not blunt.

Anyway, Bullet knocks himself stupid(er) by crashing into one too many walls. Now here's Bushwacker, shirtless, covered in bandages, and shooting at DD with his gun-arm while roaring down the sidewalk on a motorcycle, just as the Founding Fathers intended. Daredevil dives into an alley and climbs a fire escape, determined to get clear of the crowd, but Bushwacker brought a flamethrower along and manages to torch DD's legs as he flips onto the roof. If you shoot a flamethrower straight up, doesn't that make it rain jellied, burning gasoline? Oh well, the fight continues on the rooftop, Daredevil trying to punch out Bushwacker from his knees. He gets clipped by a shot and has to acrobatically flip and leap away.

Straight off a roof and onto a "Nukeman" (looks a little like Superman with a missile cone on his head) balloon. A balloon Bushwacker shoots, causing it to explode and sending the crowd into a panic. Daredevil lands in the middle of this, costume torn and senses are warped. He mistakes a blind, wheelchair bound man with a tin cup for Buschwacker, juggling bullets. A random woman stops Daredevil from beating up a blind man, but can't convince him to visit a hospital.

Because Daredevil is fine, just fine. Staggering down the sidewalk, using buildings to stay upright, muttering to himself while annoying someone by ringing their intercom. Perfectly normal behavior. Then he gets punched in the face by Ammo. Thank goodness for House to Astonish's recap of Daredevil villains, or I'd have to pull out my copy of issue #252 to remember that goober's name. Hadn't forgotten those zebra-striped spandex pants, though.

Matt's got nothing left in the tank, mostly just eating a beating. Meanwhile, the anti-nuke march has met the Fourth of July "God Bless 'Murica" parade and, predictably, violence has begun. I gotta say, for having been disrupted multiple times by Daredevil-related violence, those anti-nuke protestors kept on marching.

The Human Torch flies overhead, sees a guy in a red suit he figures is Daredevil, doesn't note he's getting his ass kicked, and flies off to whatever emergency the FF were dealing with. FYI, this issue came out concurrently with Fantastic Four #320, which was the first half of Spiky-Thing vs. Joe Fixit Hulk (continued in Incredible Hulk #350), so I'm not sure what emergency Johnny's rushing off to. He'll show up a couple of issues from now, trying to help and mostly messing it up.

Meanwhile, Ammo's telling Daredevil this, meaning violence, is Daredevil's life. It's what he is, so why does expect anything different than to be attacked? Meanwhile, the two parades are still fighting, and minus whatever signage they're carrying, you can't tell the sides apart. Ammo makes a final comment about DD having one foot in the grave and another on a banana peel, hits him with a solid right cross that rolls him into the street, and there Daredevil stays as the crowd moves on.

But we're not done yet! This was a super-sized issue, 48 pages of Daredevil getting tenderized. Matt eventually staggers his way into an alley where a hallucination of his father tells him to stand and fight. As Matt shadowboxes himself, he's haunted by visions of other foes: Bullseye, Gladiator, Elektra, Typhoid and Kingpin, all taunting him for his reliance on violence. (I wonder if Elektra's comment Matt seemed to love her more as she grew more violent is accurate.) Then his ghost father berates him for fighting, right before Matt gets sucker-punched by the "Wildboys", a couple of losers he dealt with at Christmas in issue #253.

While one Wildboy brags about how strong a punch he's got, the other complains he didn't get to do anything. So he throws Daredevil through a rotted fence. Then they beat him with the planks. Matt can't do much more than throw handfuls of garbage in their face and sorry, these guys aren't that big a pair of losers. Maybe soapy water would have done the trick. They decide to chuck him off a bridge, despite orders to leave the 'last inch' to the woman who hired them.

At which point Typhoid Mary appears, machete at their throats. Even allowing the Wildboys' legs are bent somewhat at the knees, I think Romita Jr. draws her as taller than them. The losers run, and she hauls Daredevil up by one arm. He asks her to save him, she asks if he loves her, wants her. Matt denies it. He doesn't, not even to save his life. Give it a few issues, Matt. As he's done all day, he asks why she's doing this. She doesn't even know him.

And he falls, and she cries. Soon, he'll be getting strangled by a demonically-possessed vacuum cleaner, taking a flamethrower to his entire life and fleeing the city like Napoleon fled Russia (see Random Back Issues #51 and #104.) This run is so bonkers, I love it.

{3rd longbox, 80th comic. Daredevil #260, by Ann Nocenti (writer), John Romita Jr. (penciler), Al Williamson (inker), Max Scheele (colorist), Joe Rosen (letterer)}

Bunker Busting

Of all the anime from my rewatch project this year, Gundam Wing is the one I reassessed the most. I liked it before, but it hits differently now. I get more from the stuff that's not giant mechs destroying other giant mechs. I may post about some of that later, depending on how Thursdays play out this fall. 

For today, I'm just going to talk about the bunker scene at the end of Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz. Here's the clip the times listed below are referencing. Discussion points, in chronological order:

~00:33 into the clip - Back when I was doing Burn Notice episode rundowns, I talked about my annoyance with characters who use the, "Go ahead and shoot me, then," bluff, usually as proof they are not a snitch/cop/spy, and how it never seems to backfire, no matter how unstable the person they're daring is.

(I've been thinking about if Takagi's death in Die Hard qualifies as a time it backfire. I think that requires assuming he was lying to Hans Gruber about not having the password they wanted. I feel, near the end, there's enough desperation in his attempts to convince Hans that he wasn't lying, but your mileage may vary.)

Anyway, here we see Mariemaia Khusrenada learning that Heero Yuy is not the person to run that bluff on. I mean, he was clearly going to shoot anyway, but I love how there is no hesitation. The moment she dares him, it's 'Roger that,' and BOOM!

~00:53: The thing the rewatch made me re-evaluate most was Relena. When I was younger and fixated on the pilots wrecking shit, she seemed like she was in the way. That it was everyone else accomplishing things. I didn't appreciate how much she grew through the series, how much responsibility she shouldered in the wake of her father's death and learning of her heritage. She survives assassination attempts, leads a country, accepts what is intended as a figurehead position as "Queen Relena", then pulls off a bloodless revolution through empathy, idealism and force of personality. She grapples with the gap between her ideals and reality, and what can be accomplished, but never loses her resolve to bring those ideals to life and create a future different from pretty much the entirety of human history prior to that.

(Note that, for all his charisma and "the man on a horse" ego, Treize Khusrenada never tried to directly oppose Relena the way he did the Romefeller Foundation. He waits until Zechs makes his idiotic, "Earth is the problem," declaration and uses everyone's fear to seize control. He knew in a straight up confrontation with her, he'd lose.)

Most of all, she doesn't blink. She's surprised the first time Heero pulls a gun on her, but I wouldn't say she's scared. She certainly isn't afraid to shield him from Duo moments later. After that, after her father's assassination, Relena refuses to sacrifice what she believes in for her own life. (She surrenders the Sanc Kingdom so people won't die for her, which is not the same thing.)

And so you get Mariemaia, trying to puff herself up after Heero's first shot (probably the first time anyone has directly threatened her), only for Relena to see right through it. The deadpan delivery of, 'Are you afraid, Mariemaia?' is perfect. It's not really a question. She knows the kid is afraid. Everyone in that bunker is afraid, except Relena. All the guys in the magenta shirts and armbands are soldiers that, through luck or skill, survived the events of Gundam Wing. You figure they faced death before, but they weren't ready for this. Which brings us to. . .

~1:31: When I first watched Gundam Wing on Toonami, lo those many years ago, I used to joke about how often Relena and Heero would say each other's name. Often in a soft murmur, and often it was the only thing they might say at that moment. You could make a drinking game out of it. 'Heero. . .' Take a shot. But in this case, it's once again Mariemaia's reaction that's the selling point.

Relena was always key to Dekim Barton's plan, in much the same way as Mariemaia (who thinks she's running things, but it's Barton actually giving orders.) Mariemaia has the lineage to get the surviving Treize Faction idiots to support Barton's plans. She gets him the muscle he needs. Relena's the one person people on Earth and in space believe in. She'll legitimize his coup, get the people to accept it quietly. And, because she's a pacifist, in Barton's eyes (and Mariemaia's) that means Relena's weak. She'll do what they want.

Except they're wrong. She won't bend to them, anymore than the Gundams - even if all the pilots other than Heero are trying not to kill their opponents - so now her value is as human shield. Just one problem, Heero knows the depth of her conviction in her beliefs. There's a reason he tells her more than once that she's stronger than he is. (In the Blind Target manga, he tells Quatre she's, 'the strongest.') She's willing to die rather than help Barton set himself up as ruler of humanity.

Mariemaia's just now figuring that out. The little gasp and the shocked look, priceless. It's sinking in that, the beloved elader who is supposed to be her bullet shield, the one whose presence is meant to ensure her safety, has a murder/suicide pact with the same Gundam pilot about to blow his own ass up trying to kill them. Don't you hate when that happens?

~1:45: I did make the mistake of reading the comments on that video. I mean, I know better than that from 20 years ago when I'd watch Weird Al's "Smells Like Nirvana" video and the comment thread was just one person being outraged on Kurt Cobain's behalf, and then someone correcting that person by pointing out the Nirvana guys not only agreed about how unintelligible they were, but were thrilled to get parodied, ad nauseam, forever.

But, setting aside the dozens of comments to the effect that telling Heero that Relena's in there only makes him more eager to shoot - yes, that's why he visibly lowers Zero's buster rifle immediately afterward - there was some debate about the location of that last shot. Did he alter his target on the third shot, because of the memory of that little girl? There is the brief shot of his targeting screen where the reticle seems to shift, but it sure as hell looks like the third shot hits the exact same place as the first two. I think it represents him raising the buster rifle again and sighting in on his target.

I think it's more that Heero is being incredibly precise. The little girl with the flower died because Heero miscalculated where he puts some explosives, so a mobile suit got knocked into an apartment building by the blast, killing innocent people. He's not going to make that mistake twice, he shoots where it will tear open the shelter, but the people in the bunker will survive.

I could be wrong. Could be Heero figured he had to stop them, but he'd die in the process when Wing Zero blows up hundreds of feet in the air. From that view, he was killing himself at the same time as penance.

Instead, he survives, climbs down into the bunker, symbolically shoots Mariemaia with an empty gun, which I think is his way of closing the door on that period of his life, going by his 'I'll never kill again,' comment before he collapses. Which isn't in the video I linked to, but is worth mentioning for how it connects to what is.

The Man with One Red Shoe (1985)

A power struggle between the CIA Director Ross (Charles Durning) and his ambitious second-in-command Cooper (Dabney Coleman), leaves concert violinist Richard Drew (Tom Hanks) caught in the middle of a plan to, um. . . I'm not really sure. Ross has 48 hours before he appears before a Senate inquiry, and somehow making Cooper think the "man with one red shoe" has testimony that will clear Ross is going to actually sink Cooper?

Maybe because it'll spur Cooper to deploy CIA assets on U.S. soil, which the CIA can't do, wink wink? It does work, because Cooper charges into the inquiry with a gun chasing Drew in an attempt to kill him before he can testify. Which makes him seem unstable and unsuited for the job, but also seems like a hard outcome to predict.

To be clear, this is not a case of Ross having principles and worrying what Cooper will do if he gets the big chair. Ross likes having the big chair, and doesn't want to give it up. He's fine playing dirty, he's fine having his subordinate pick some guy to be the bait, and he's fine if the bait dies. Probably would even help, in the fantasy world this movie occurs in, where people in the Reagan administration actually faced consequences for immoral acts.

Anyway, Drew is the unwitting witness/bait. So Cooper's attempt to figure out what intel Drew has turns into a comedy (I use the term loosely) of errors occurring around a largely oblivious Tom Hanks. They incapacitate Drew's dentist before an appointment, the agent replacing him planning to yank out all Drew's teeth in a search for concealed microfilm. Only for Drew to lose his nerve when he hears a patient freaking out and bail. One of the agents Ross has surveilling the whole thing had fallen behind and ends up walking into the trap instead.

Skipping the appointment means Drew returns home early, so the team tearing his place apart does a rush job putting it back together. Now the handles on the faucet in the sink control his shower, and the toilet controls the sink, his shampoo is in his toothpaste tube, and his chairs are structurally unsound.

Drew's also carrying on an affair with a flutist (Carrie Fisher) in the symphony. Her percussionist husband (Jim Belushi) becomes increasingly paranoid as the CIA teams grow reckless. But Drew's head gets turned by Maddy (Lori Singer), Cooper's top agent, who is herself charmed when Drew plays a piece of music he's been writing (and which Cooper concludes must contain a code.)

It feels like it ought to be funny, but it mostly didn't work for me. I laughed a lot more at Paint, or even Eephus, which is not a comedy, than this film. There is one poor agent wandering the sewers for hours, because Cooper thinks all the toilet flushing was Drew putting something down the pipes, rather than just trying to use his sink. The way that guy is forgotten, still down there alone in the middle of the night, lost and defeated, while Drew's wooing Maddy with his music, that was sorta funny.

Other than that? Not much. Tom Hanks can do comedy, but the way the movie is structured, he's the center of everything, but very little of it touches him. It's all going on around him without his knowledge. Like, the whole mess with his plumbing is revealed through him trying to use the sink and the shower turning on. There's a chance for some silly physical comedy, Hanks get sprayed or something, and the movie is just like, "Nah." Most of the humor is apparently supposed to be watching these agents tie themselves in knots trying to figure out what Drew is up to.

One bit that works is when he returns home from the aborted trip to the dentist and Maddy is waiting in his living room as a distraction until the team can tranq dart him and then flee. Except it takes 3 darts to put him out (I guess because seeing her in his apartment got him too worked up for the darts to work), with his speech getting increasingly goofy until he topples over.

Belushi plays his usual loud idiot, and I guess we're supposed to laugh he's the butt of jokes because he plays dumb practical jokes on Hanks all the time. Fake peanuts, exploding cigars, I'm sure whoopee cushions are utilized. He's also getting cheated on by his wife with his friend, and then starts finding dead bodies that keep mysteriously vanishing, until he goes nuts. Not before he thinks he's going to be killed by a gunman, mind you. I ended up feeling bad for him.

Fisher feels wasted by the movie, and I didn't see any particular chemistry between Hanks and Singer to carry their romantic subplot. Drew is just panting after a leggy blonde, while Maddy doesn't seem to think of him as anything other than a job until he plays that piece he wrote, which happens pretty late in the proceedings.

Also, Drew rides his bike everywhere, but does so wearing headphones, which is insane. He's entirely cut off his hearing as an aid to keep him alive, and he's biking on roads with cars. So either he's one of the cyclists who expects everyone to give way to them, or he's got a death wish, and I don't think he's got a death wish. 

What I Bought 9/2/2026 - Part 2

I have the day off! But it's still really hot outside! So I'm not going anywhere! Fortunately, we have comics to review! Two of them! I kinda like getting all my DC stuff for the month in one go! Exclamation point!

Batgirl #23, by Tate Brombal (writer), Takeshi Miyazawa (artist), Mike Spicer (colorist), Tom Napolitano (letterer) - The plants would like a turn crouching dramatically.

Batgirl has brought Jaya and Tenji to the restaurant she hung out at sometimes before everything went to hell at the beginning of this volume. Very surprised that family survived the attack by the Unburied, considering Shiva's insistence that anyone Cass got involved would be in danger. Cass herself is lost in thought, maybe about whether being in this toxic city brings out the worst in her.

As Police Commissioner Vandal Savage - that is still one of the dumbest ideas - makes some TV spot advertising a reward if people narc on any of the Bats, the entire city is overrun by strange plants. Plants which will make the city hostile to human life. Cass can't get through to Batman to receive any specific orders, which really frustrates her. But there's a restaurant full of people to protect, and keep calm, and watch out for.

The kid wants that reward to save his sick mother, and Cass was distracted trying to convince people not freak out because she ran outside to save a guy being attacked by the plants and brought him inside, but still. Not a great start for Batgirl on this crisis. And one of the customer's kids sniffed the flowers and now she's poisoned. Cass vows to get the kid to a hospital, despite the stab wound, and trusts Jaya and Tenji to protect everyone else. Which at least will give Tenji that chance he wanted to make a name for himself as a hero.

I like this. It's not (so far) another exercise in unearthing new, never-before-seen secrets of Cassandra's past. The past history is there, and clearly weighing on her, but the immediate threat is something new. Miyazawa is back on the art. He gets a little rougher with his lines in the moments of panic, when plants start bursting through the floor, then smooths things out again in the quiet, tense moments. Batgirl's brief fight to save that man is drawn as quick and efficient, each move in the span of a few panels.

Is this event tie-in going to be my favorite story in this run so far? What a horrifying thought. 

The Deadman #4, by W. Maxwell Prince (writer), Martin Morazzo (artist), Chris O'Halloran (colorist), Good Old Neon (letterer) - Based on the escalator, Heaven is either a mall or an airport. I'm hoping for the former, but only as long as they have a place that sells big, soft, gooey cookies.

Deadman has a bit of a meltdown about what he learned last issue, until Billy snarls at him to shut up, turning demonic in the process. Boston doesn't get any answers as to what that's about, instead heading for Heaven to try and confab with God about the situation. Billy follows.

While Billy gets some distressing news about himself from Zatanna's dad, which I guess explains his weird behavior when he snapped at Deadman, the Custodian of Souls spends most of the issue in God's waiting room, chatting with his secretary. Who is probably actually God, but whatever. The main point is for Deadman to decide that, even if he knew the souls he thought he helped wound up in Hell, he still would have tried to get them sent on to Heaven. Because it's worthwhile to try and help someone, even if it doesn't work.

So he leaves. I note that he didn't gain any insight into the creatures eating souls or who is manipulating them (which is some mysterious figure with either a cube or a book for a head), and therefore seems no closer to dealing with the problem than he was at the end of issue 1. And then he got pushed off the escalator by a panicked Billy, and lands in the clutches of some Cyber-Swamp Thing. Which is kind of a weird shift.

Until the point Deadman - or is he Aliveman now? - lands in that situation, the entire book is 9-panel grids. 18 solid pages of 9-panel grids. Not much change or in perspective or style within the panels. Monotonous. Quite the change from the previous issue, which offered so much variety. It's all the same, all very rigid and constrained. Sterile. The most pizzazz are the panels with Zatara, where's he got a smoke machine and a stage backdrop. A showman. That's two panels. Bleak commentary on Heaven, unless the idea is it gives you the time and space to find answers yourself.

Sunday Splash Page #443

"All Grown Up," in Avengers and Power Pack: Assemble #4, by Marc Sumerak (writer), Gurihiru (artist), Dave Sharpe (letterer)

Similar to some of Sumerak's other Power Pack mini-series, this one starts with what appear to be done-in-one stories, which later connect into a larger narrative. First, the kids team up with Captain America, despite his objections about their age, to stop Taskmaster after he swiped some data from a Stark Industries research lab.

Besides Tasky losing first to a bunch of elementary schoolkids, then senior citizens (WW2 buddies of Captain America, but still, no Infinity Formula for these guys), we also get a scene where he mocks Power Pack not only for being kids, but for their costumes. This while rocking his Udon Studios, "my good costume is at the dry cleaners," look.

Then Katie Power zaps him in the face. Deserved.

Second issue, AIM stole an experimental armor (thanks to the info Taskmaster swiped for them), and Jack gets it in his head that if they recover it, Tony Stark will pay them a big reward. AIM is, surprisingly, prepared for the kids, and in an escape attempt, Jack suits up in the experimental armor. Then accidentally attacks Iron Man with it. They free his siblings and stop AIM, but when Jack asks about a reward for rescuing the armor, Iron Man says they can just deduct it from the cost of the damage Jack did to said armor. 

Which is such a billionaire move. It's pocket change to Stark, but he'd rather come up with an excuse to stiff a kid and disguise your own incompetence.

In the last two issues, the Power family travels to New York City on vacation, and the kids try to help the New Avengers fight Kang and his army of guys in suits based on Iron Man's experimental armor, as he was behind the schemes in the first two issues. I guess this is his idea of fighting honorably, stealing period-appropriate technology to fight with. Minus his own futuristic stuff that freezes his opponents in place. So honorable!

How well known the Power Pack are varies from mini-series to mini-series. Wolverine knows them, but they'd been in at least one, maybe two, other mini-series with him by this point. Captain America apparently vouched for them to Iron Man somewhere between issues 1 and 2. Taskmaster knows them, and says they're a joke among the costumed community. As he's running around in a tracksuit and a skull mask like some doofus with an urban explorer Youtube channel, so glass houses and all that. AIM has heard of them, enough to have weapons prepared to counter their powers.

Kang, however, doesn't know them, dismissing them as innocent children, until they attack him. At which point they're flung into a future where Kang runs things and they must team-up with their older selves. How their older selves are there if they were chucked into the future, I don't know. Obviously they make it back to the mid-2000s, but then the dystopian future never comes to pass, so. . . 

I did a longer review of the mini-series 3 years ago. 

Saturday Splash Page #245

"Insult to Attempted Injury," in Union Jack #3, by Christos Gage (writer), Mike Perkins (penciler), Andrew Hennessy (inker), Laura Villari (colorist), Cory Petit (letterer)

I bought this 4-issue, late-2006, mini-series in back issues last year. Came up somehow or the other in the comments at House to Astonish, and it wasn't expensive, so I figured, what the hell?

MI5 gets word some new AIM splinter group called "R.A.I.D." wants to establish themselves as the #1 terror organization in the world, after Wolverine hacked up thousands of HYDRA guys in Millar's Wolverine run. R.A.I.D.'s staging a massive strike on England, via a crap-ton of C-list super-villains out to do as much damage as possible. By the time Union Jack's been contacted, there's only 8 hours until it starts. Excalibur is off on assignment elsewhere, and the folks in the U.S. are busy with Civil War.

So, besides Union Jack, you've got former Assistant Director of SHIELD Contessa Allegra Valentina de la Fontaine, banished to the hinterlands of England(?) when Fury fell out of favor and got replaced with Maria Hill. *cackles in disbelief* You've also got Sabra, and a new Arabian Knight. An Israeli and a Saudi. No tension there.

I'm guessing the Knight's new design is Perkins' work. He ditches the turban, in favor of a sleeveless tactical vest and fatigue pants. The flying carpet has been unraveled and turned into the clothes he wears and automatically hardens like armor to any attack, but does not give him the ability to fly, so I guess it was a tradeoff. I feel like the scimitar used to be on fire, which is not in evidence here, outside of one panel where it looks like there are blue flames following the arc of his swing. Being mystical, it can cut anything. Actually, the re-design of the Arabian Knight might have been the point of discussion at House to Astonish. Characters receiving updated, less stereotypical designs perhaps?

Gage positions Union Jack (Joe Chapman version) as a man of the people. His relationship with Spitfire fell apart because they're from different worlds, what with her being landed gentry and him painting houses for a living. I can't figure which of them objected, but if it was him, Joe might be a damn idiot. 

That said, he doesn't care about political divides. If people are willing, he'll take the help. When Contessa suggests that, given his past history of objections to mass murder (that time he turned on Mr. Hyde and teamed up with Captain America), Batroc might be willing to roll on his buddies Zaran and Machete, Joe's up for giving it a try.

He's also not one for compromises. When Arabian Knight offers to let Joe kill him, so he can use the Knight's mystic sword (because the Knight's too concussed), Joe refuses. He's not killing an ally. He also objects to the MI5 guy withholding news of the impending attack from the public. All the more when it becomes clear the politicians got the word, and blabbed to all their wealthy pals. Of course, while Jack does tell people to shelter in place, he's a fool to think they'll listen, creating a lot of gridlock which the villains exploit. But "the people" come to his aid, especially in the big fight against the final threat.

Speaking of villains, besides Zaran and Machete, you've got Crossfire and his Death-Throws, Shockwave, Firebrand, Jackhammer, Boomerang, Jack O'Lantern, Ecstasy, and the Corruptor. Like I said, C-list. More critically in this story, they're all in it for the money. None of it is ideological for them, and against this version of Union Jack, that's not enough.

He's almost suicidally determined to stop them. He gets stabbed in the chest, through body armor, by Zaran, and just keeps choking him until Zaran surrenders. He dares Bombshell to throw a bomb at him when he's so close. Risk ending up scarred because of her revealing costume on the chance his won't protect him. He goes after Jack O'Lantern hard enough the guy decides to run - which seems on point, Jack O'Lantern's always been a chickenshit, no matter which guy is wearing the flaming pumpkin - only to end up run over by a flying car. This after Jack gets repeatedly zapped by Shockwave, before risking electrocuting both of them by cutting open the suit while they were in a puddle of water.

I think Perkins and/or Gage oversells it in the final issue, when a multiple-story dreadnought kicks Union Jack across Trafalgar Square and into a building, hard enough to break some of the stone the building is made of. Jack gets up and stabs a flagpole into an opening created by the Knight and Sabra and hits the liquid nitrogen reserves. As far as I know, Jack is not superhuman.

The final issue is also when Jack puts it together that, though this wasn't an inside job, it had some help getting as far as it did. It boils down to another chance to show Joe Chapman doesn't compromise his ideals, and doesn't find the sacrifice of innocent people to further some amorphous idea of "security" acceptable. Even if it makes him persona non grata with government agencies going forward.

It's funny, the MI5 guy asks Union Jack if he's planning to rush to future crises on the bus. Setting aside I think the UK has a much better public transportation system than the U.S., it didn't look like Jack was getting much help at the start of the mini-series, when he was killing vampires by himself, and apparently spending half his paycheck on silver bullets. But, as a man of the people, maybe Jack can bum rides off delivery drivers and street racers he's helped in the past. It worked for Kim Possible.

What I Bought 9/2/2026 - Part 1

About a month ago, I got an e-mail from Internet Movie Database, telling me my account had been created. While I do use it as a resource for almost every movie post, I had not created an account, so I dismissed it as some sort of phishing scam. Until I went to the site a week later, and it showed me as signed in. Turns out, Amazon owns or is connected to IMDb, so if you have an account with Bezos' Money Machine, they make you one for the movie site.

I deleted the account. I'll decide whether I make an account on a website or not, thanks. Today we've got the first of three comics from this week. I wasn't expecting to find all three at the local store. Two at best, given I hadn't had much luck with FF or Deadman last month. I guess that's the advantage to getting there on a Wednesday instead of a Thursday.

Fantastic Four #16, by Ryan North (writer), Ramon Rosanas (artist), Edgar Delgado (color artist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - Think you're a little late with the cover-up attempt, gang. I do like the font as trying to evoke old sci-fi mags or something similar.

The FF are hiding on an alien world until they fix their 1950s-style flying saucer. The intelligent life is technologically around the "dirigibles and phonograph" stage, so I guess it's a Prime Directive thing. Johnny bought a "graphophone" so they can listen to music while they work, plus some clay for Alicia to work with. Which gives her an idea.

Apparently, there was a theory that if you can store sound by carving into a wax cylinder, other things could store sounds when you carved them, like clay. Earth's clay doesn't do this, but the clay of the alien world does. If someone hummed while they carved a vase, the vase stored the sound and it could be played. Disguised, the FF share this discovery with the world, figuring as long as it seems like their own people figured it out, and the locals are the ones who actually test the artifacts, it's fine.

It's not fine. People learn things about the great thinkers, creators, religious figures and whatnot, that they didn't want to know. Fights break out, people start trying to destroy elements of the past. Reed gets the idea if they reveal they're actually aliens and explain a few things, people will calm down. Reed is wrong.

As the FF can't keep the entire world from fighting each other, they try one last time, only this time they lie. Present another invention that "accidentally" reveals them as beings of malicious intent (instead of, let's be kind and said overly optimistic), and are "killed" before they can escape in their saucer. They return to Earth, now having to explain to their kids why it was OK to lie this time. I'm not sure I buy Sue's reasoning that it may not matter in the long run, as I suspect that even if a member of the species rediscovers the truth centuries down the line, there will still be pushback from reactionary forces who don't like having their worldview challenged. But I'm a cynical person.

I was trying to decide what was bugging me the entire issue about Rosanas' version of the Thing. I think it's he gives Ben a neck. His head is too high relative to his shoulders. Although judging by that first panel, the area between his nose and lips looks almost like a dog's muzzle. That ain't helping. Also, seeing him wearing the same costume as the others, instead of just the pants, is weird to me. I know he's done that at times in the past, and I don't blink when he wears sweaters or whatever during his time off, but the snug spandex look just didn't seem right.