I know that Tuesday seems to be the day that I dazzle you with some deep post about how literary success can trap a person, or how there are a million different stories you can tell from the same framework, but it's not gonna happen tonight. My brain can't seem to get around just how bad Adam Carolla was as the guest host for Rome is Burning this afternoon. I know, I shouldn't watch ESPN programming (other than PTI, if only LeBatard wouldn't keep showing up), but once the semester starts next week, who knows how often I'll get the chance to watch middle-aged men act outraged because some athlete used their considerable money to purchase drugs (or used drugs to help themselves make more money)?
I mean, I kind of figured a show where all he has to do is stand up there and rant in a somewhat humorous manner about sports stories would be fairly easy for Mr. Carolla, but he looked extremely awkward up there. There were moments during his opening thoughts (also known as what he's burning on), where the camera is holding on his face, when I was sure he was reading his lines off the palm of his hand (which was below the camera shot). Maybe it was the teleprompter and Carolla just needs some glasses (or laser eye surgery), but he was stumbling to get out a coherent sentence. It was essentially how I would picture myself doing, were I to host a television show.
Ye gods, his performance actually made me wish Jim Gray had come back after yesterday's bland performance. I'm not saying Gray is any joy to watch, but he's, well, dull enough to not bother you, like those Neutrals from Futurama. I find that preferable to a guy who appears to be trying really hard to be funny (or mock-outraged, I couldn't figure out which), while being completely out of his depth. Maybe it was the suit he had to wear. It's the first time I can recall Adam Carolla being that dressed up, so maybe it threw him off. The tie cut off circulation to his brain or something. That's why I don't wear ties. Well, that and because most ties are dull, and the ones that aren't dull, you aren't allowed to wear in public.
But that's enough about ties. Hopefully, I've gotten past this block now, and I'll think of something really awesome to post for later this week.