Hating Himself, Or Hating His Friend

I am really struggling to come up with a post tonight. I believe I would have received my comics today if the bloody postal service wasn't taking the day off to celebrate the contested election of Rutherford B. Hayes in 1876! Oh sure, you say they're celebrating all the presidents, but I know they're really in the bag for Hayes. You can't fool me! Well, no use dwelling on it.

So what to discuss? Well, I'm watching Trigun again, because it entertains me. I'm currently at episode 11, which is just about the point where it starts getting dark and gloomy. In the previous episode, Wolfwood had run Vash and his little troop again, then parted ways with them again at the end of the episode, leaving with a rather interesting phrase. He said that looking at Vash pisses him off, because he sees all the things in vash that he hates about himself. So I'm thinking over that right now.

Vash is a firm proponent of the belief that even if a situation devolves into violence, no one should have to die. He's an optimistic person, believing in the strength and goodness of people, even though he has repeatedly been exposed to the worst of their traits. Vash is very much in the Superman vein, where no one is ever truly beyond hope, and so you can't kill them, since they would never be able to change. Wolfwood tends to be less forgiving towards those whoa re evil that he comes across. He believes that every situation will require someone suffer, and so you have to decide which decision allows for less suffering. He's a cynic from experience, who cannot as easily disregard the faults he sees in the people he encounters.

So I wonder whether Wolfwood hates that same optimism in himself, thus he tries so hard to supress it. I mean, he believes some people are good, but he also believes those people are easily trampled by people with darker motives, and that even kind people can be driven to horrible acts. So he finds it hard to trust or believe in people. Or, because Vash is so easily an optimist, and can so easily believe, does Wolfwood actually hates the cynicsm that he hides his hope behind. He finds it difficult to care enough to help people, because he can't trust them or their motives, but Vash does it so easily. I can see how that could be frustating.

I figure that it's the former in the early stage of the series, when he's barely met Vash, but by the latter episodes, when they've been around each other more, Wolfwood does come to despise his inability to be more like Vash. Of course, being more like Vash ultimately got Wolfwood killed, so maybe he was better off staying as he was.