Tuesday, June 23, 2009

OK, Maybe There Won't Be A Reckoning

Adorable Baby Panda: I got a question.

Calvin
: {Shoot.}

ABP: Why was the title the last time I came by talking about a reckoning?

Calvin: {Heh, whoops. Well, originally, I was going to berate you for not helping me when UnCalvin attacked me.}

ABP: I was busy!

Calvin: {*exasperated* With what?!}

ABP: *looks at ground, kicks dirt bashfully, mumbles* Fingerpainting.

Calvin: {Oh. I can't argue with fingerpainting. It's OK, I just figured you were keeping an eye on UnCalvin, you two being arch-nemeses and all.}

ABP: I always do! I just lost track of time.

Calvin: {*shrugs* It happens. Now stop bringing dirt into my room. If you want to kick it bashfully, do it outside. And don't let the screen door slam on your way out, oh dear, I've become my parents, NOOOOOO! *runs out*}

ABP: Calvin, wait! I'm on my own again?

He needs to learn to find his center. Or have some ice cream. Ice cream helps. Now I want ice cream. But I am tough, so comics first! I think Thor gets a Bonk because he wouldn't help Beta Ray Bill. I don't know if Bill is doing the right thing, but Thor is his friend, and he should either help Bill, or try harder to make him stop. I think I have to Bonk Bill too, because destroying that planet was too much. I know Galactus was going to eat it, but at least it would have been used! Now it's just broken! I'm giving Deadpool some Applause for his haiku, and I would Hug him for beating up Bullseye, but he might be wearing that meat suit, and that was nasty. Bullseye gets a Bonk for saying he would kill the guy he told to chop up and grind Deadpool's body. That's not how you get people to do the job right!

I'm giving the Black Beetle a Bonk for killing Robin in the past. {Everyone kills a Robin eventually. Black Beetle just wants to fit in. He doesn't have any friends, you see.} Calvin, you came back! Can you go get some ice cream? {*flabbergasted* That's all you have to say?} Please? {*grumbles* Fine. Acts like I'm made a' money, rassin'-frassin'. . .} Gee, Calvin sounds mad. Maybe because it's real hot outside? The ice cream will help. Booster Gold gets some Applause because he figured out who Batman is in three panels. Maybe it was easy to guess, but I'd be too surprised to think about it. Power Girl gets a Hug because her head is being cut open, and the Ultra-Humanite gets a Bonk for cutting Power Girl's head open, and holding Manhatten hostage, and for working with that Satanna lady. {Did you ever catch up to her?} *smacks forehead* No, I didn't! I totally forgot!

{Aren't you a little young to be forgetting everything? Maybe you ought to check your fingerpaints for toxins.} I can't right now! I need to go find her and bring her to justice! {Not before you eat this ice cream. I went and got it, you eat it.} Right *starts gobbling ice cream* {Bad idea.} Don't worry, pandas never get brain freeze, we train ourselves to ignore that probl - Owww! {Sounds like someone needs to train a little harder, eh? Maybe ease back on your arts and crafts?} I guess so *rubs forehead*

No comments: