Thursday, August 20, 2009

This Feels Very Familiar Somehow

Deadpool: [We've moved Calvin back to his springtime hideout, now let's see if his audience can tell the difference!]

Adorable Baby Panda: You dunderhead, of course they can now that you told them! *bonks Deadpool on the head*

CalvinPitt: {Hey now, I taught you that word to use it for good, not for evil! Also, don't hit Deadpool when you're sitting on my shoulder. I'm not eager to be caught in the ensuing fallout.}

Deadpool: [Dunderhead?]

I don't like it when you stay out here! It's dirty, and you don't review comics enough! {Now don't start whining.} I'm not! It's just, if you don't have comics, I don't get to show up! {Well, I promise to try and tell some more stories where you can show up and do stuff.} [What about me?] {I'm not sure that's a good idea Wade. You're already dangerously overexposed, and I think there'll be a backlash eventually.} [Fortunately nerds don't scare me.] {Well, they might dress up as clowns. 'Course, if you're lucky, it'll just be bloggers who backlash, and we're never representative of the audience, so you could pin your hopes on that.} [*bored* Sure, sounds great. I'll clear a space on my schedule to show up in your next story.] He's not listening. {You can't be surprised.} Nope.

I think I should hit Mr. O'Shea for calling the cops on his son. [No way! He paid me lots of money for services, and might do so again in the future! Besides, his son was a loser. A backstabbing, murdering loser.] {I have to side with Wade. The kid did blow up a building full of people just to frame Wade.} [When he could have just waited for me to blow up the building myself!] Fine, no hitting! [Don't I get any dap?] {Dap?} No. The Wrecking Crew beat you up, then Tombstone beat you up, too. {Besides, I think Outlaw already took care of that didn't she?} [Oh, right, she did! I forgot. Never mind then.] {You forgot?}

Power Girl and Terra both get Applause for saving the day, and for not just throwing the villain in jail. {There's something to be said for throwing some villains in jail, though.} [There's more to be said for just shooting them.] {Now Wade, if you kill all the villains, who are you going to fight to keep sales up?} [Fighting villains doesn't drive sales. Talking about fighting villains drives sales. And if you really have to fight one, you just handwave them back to life so I can kill them again.] I thought you got tired of killing all those clones though? [Well, yeah, but that was because I was killing a lot of them in a short period of time. If you space it out so I kill them every few months, it's fun. Like a root canal.] {You like root canals?} [Sure! Nitrous oxide, pointy, drilling things, bright lights shining directly in your eyes, what's not to love?] {Sounds like a day in Weapon X experimentation.} [Weapon X? Dr. Killebrew? *screams, shoots wildly as Calvin and ABP hit the deck*] Why did you mention Weapon X? [Weapon X?! *more screaming, more shooting*] {I was trying to follow his logic!} You should know better! *bonks Calvin on the head*

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