The Batman (2022)

A Batman movie all about how bad Batman is at accomplishing anything is certainly a choice. Whether that's a Batman movie you want to see. . .

He admits early on that, two years in, the occurrences of all sorts of violent crime are actually up. Of the Riddler's targets who are involved in the corruption of the "Renewal" project, the only one he fails to kill is Bruce Wayne, and that's not down to some brilliant bit of awareness on Bats' part. It's because Alfred opens all his mail for him. Batman doesn't even realize the Riddler's larger plan for the city until it's too late. The new mayor is shot, though not killed, but again, that's down to Gordon, not Batman.

This is a movie where the Riddler shakes his head slowly and remarks, "You're not as smart as I thought," and he's absolutely right. In the battle of wits between these two, Batman is the equivalent of a man walking into an arena with a rubber band, to fight a guy in a tank. Like, how the fuck does it take them so long to figure out, "rat with wings" might refer to a bat, especially when the Riddler keeps leaving envelopes addressed To Batman?

Which yes, is the point. Robert Pattinson plays Wayne as a recluse who pays no attention to the state of the city, the Wayne Foundation, anything except "vengeance." To the point people refer to him as that roughly as often as they call him Batman. He takes a real, "the beatings will continue until morale improves," approach to being Batman and surprise! It doesn't work. At all. He has to learn to be a positive symbol, rather than a terrifying one. Symbolized by his using a flare to lead people out of the flooded stadium, which presumably also signals Bruce Wayne becoming involved in the affairs of the city.

I was thinking, if Affleck's Batman is Dark Knight Returns Batman, broken, bitter and angry at his failures, Pattinson's is All-Star Batman, aka "The Goddamned Batman", aka Tryhard Batman. The muscle car that looks really cool, but doesn't work that well. The eye black he wears because. . .I don't know. It's not like people can't tell he's a white guy from his jawline. His tendency to just, get shot, because the suit has body armor. Think about Batman Begins, or Burton's Batman. All the scenes of Batman using the shadows or smoke to slip about unseen and take out armed goons before they get off a single shot. Pattinson's Batman can be in a lit corridor and he'll just walk through, let guys shoot him while he punches them.

If you wanted to look at it another way, someone - I think Tegan O'Neil - pointed out once that Joel Schumacher's Bruce Wayne was one who tried to address his trauma. He actually goes to see a therapist in Batman Forever and to become a parental figure to another orphan. By Batman and Robin, he's maybe in a mostly healthy headspace, with a family of sorts, but has to deal with the impending loss of another parental figure. So Matt Reeves/Robert Pattinson's Batman is the guy that's barely begun any kind of journey of healing. He's just pissed and taking it out on everyone. He sees everything in black and white, with no grasp that people will commit crimes if that's the only way to survive.

So, you know, it does what it seems to want to do pretty well. Most of the other actors are fine, although I don't really see the chemistry between Pattinson and Kravitz. Mostly because Pattinson plays Batman as alternately either so awkward or so judgmental I'm not sure how she could stand him. If I hadn't heard that Colin Farrell was Oswald Cobblepot, I would never have guessed it. Again, he's fine. Nothing particularly spectacular, but I didn't feel like the movie gave him much to work with. Dano's fine as the Riddler. They're all fine, I guess.