Saturday Splash Page #199

"House on Fire," in Runaways (vol. 3) #13, by Kathryn Immonen (writer), Sara Pichelli (artist), Christina Strain (colorist), Joe Caramagna (letterer)

So the kids got back from the early 1900s at some point and returned to L.A. for volume 3. The initial creative team was Terry Moore and Humberto Ramos, but I don't have any of those issues, not being a particular fan of Ramos' art. I gather they set up shop in a beach house owned by Chase's parents at one point, that aliens came looking for Karolina, which resulted in Xavin pretending to be her and getting killed, or hauled off to stand trial for something and probably be killed.

I have the last 5 issues, the first of which is a fill-in where Molly takes a trip to San Francisco to see if she wants to live with the X-Men (she doesn't), and the team plays Truth or Dare and Nico hatches an evil magic serpent egg hidden inside a Sons of the Serpent staff Karolina stole on a dare. You can either blame Nico for shitty aim, or Chase for refusing to sit still and play the game properly, take your pick.

After that, Kathryn Immonen and Sara Pichelli have a 4-issue arc where the older kids hold "prom" in the house for themselves. The house gets hit by a drone being used by some military guys to smuggle things under the radar. I think it was redirected by Victor, looking for music for the "prom" and hacking into some encrypted channel, but that's not made clear. Old Lace dies, Klara freaks out, Chase freaks out, Chase's uncle - who actually owns the house - shows up.

That stuff I said last week, the original six having a little bubble no one else can fully breach? In full effect here. Nico's idea of comforting Karolina about Xavin being gone, possibly dead, is to say Karolina was more teacher to Xavin than partner, and if Xavin really is dead, then it was for Karolina, so she should make the best of it! *slow clap* Bra-vo. Would have been better off brandishing the Staff of One and shouting, "Therapy!" 

When dealing with the magic snakes, each of which that births an egg which quickly hatches and repeats the process, Chase dares - as part of the game - Victor to eat one, which kills it. Chase admits he didn't know that would happen, he just figured if it didn't work, Victor is a machine, so they can just rebuild him. Chase is angry about Old Lace dying and talks about killing Klara. Nico tells Victor at one point to make like a suicide toaster and jump in the ocean.

When Chase's uncle finds the package the drone was carrying and offers it to them as a way to have some money, after also helping them find transportation, Chase uses the weird interdimensional box that's holding the package to trap his uncle, and just walks away. Can his uncle survive in the box? Who knows? Certainly not Chase. The uncle, Hunter, does survive, and somehow still wants to help Chase after that.

It's funny, because Immonen refers back to the story Chase told during their volume 2 NYC jaunt about killing a hobo who tried to steal his van (which Chase later insisted was a lie he convinced himself was true.) Now, the "hobo" was his uncle, who may have just been trying to talk to Chase after he bailed during a fight with his parents, and he didn't die, though he has an artificial hip from being run over. By Chase. Who then just kept driving. Chase apparently flew past Guilt over this some time ago, and settled firmly in Anger.

The book isn't helped by miscommunication between Immonen and Pichelli. The drone hitting the house and seeing Old Lace dead freaks out Klara, who causes a bunch of vines to grow and trap them. But it's unclear if they're under the house or still within it. Concerned destroying the vines might somehow hurt Klara, Nico tries a spell I assume is meant to make the vines transparent or crystalline (Nico says "Crystal Light"), so they can see their surroundings. It's drawn like she either disappeared the vines, or teleported everyone onto the beach. The house is nowhere in sight. Seeing a handful of military guys, Nico magicks up a giant log cabin ("Abraham Lincoln"), but it looks like they're just standing in a purplish void with some rubble. When really, they're still somewhere in the remains of the house, because Hunter leads Victor to an underground hanger with some vehicles to escape in.

Really just a mess of a run, top to bottom. Immonen's work occasionally has these issues, where it feels like she either left too much unsaid, or didn't make sure the instructions to the artist were clear, but it's especially bad here. At least it ends with Chase getting hit by a van because he followed a girl he thought was Gert across a busy street. The last page is him getting treated in a hospital while the rest of the cast sits around waiting for him to show up again. Every dark cloud, eh?

Random Back Issues #162 - Super-Villain Team-Up: MODOK's 11 #5

We looked at the first issue over 5 years ago, but today we're looking at the conclusion. And frankly, MODOK's plan to steal the Hypernova from a group of advanced entities seems to be circling the drain.

Of the crew he hired, Mentallo was disposed of by the Chameleon, actually an "Ultra-Adaptoid" controlled by the current head of AIM (and one-night stand of MODOK's back when he was just some dweeb), Monica Rappaccini. Spot turned out to be working for the current Mandarin (son of the old Mandarin), but wound up sucked into his own spot. Rocket Racer's the one holding the hot potato, and he's taking it to SHIELD.

Rappacini brings down Racer short of the finish line with some hex bolts, but it turns out he's been carrying a hologram all along. Back at the wreckage of Mandarin's spaceship, he's minus a hand, but game to kill three of the crew - Puma, Nightshade, Living Laser - for standing in his way. Once the Ultra-Adaptoid crashes the party, the 4 unite, but seem sorely outclassed until Living Laser realizes it's being controlled remotely from a satellite in orbit. The core of the Mandarin's ship is made of material that can block any radiation.

Rappacini's in the middle of a big speech about how MODOK had no money, but she'll let them live, when she's cut off by Puma pushing that core down the slope onto the robot. Then Armadillo shows up and crushes the inactive android.

One problem solved but, where's the Hypernova? Well, Living Laser had it cloaked all along, because he intends to use it. He can convert all that stored energy into mass, getting a real physical body back. Which he figures will be worth it, even if the others kill him a second later. There's a flash of light, and he's gone.

4 days later, MODOK's getting this report from what's left of the crew - Nightshade, Puma, Armadillo - but it turns out he has the Hypernova. He calculated a 78% chance one of his crew would betray him, so when Puma passed it through one of Spot's err, spots, MODOK swapped it with a fake in the Dark Dimension (looking very Escher-ish here.) Well, AIM's probably going to figure that out, right? Certainly, especially since MODOK contacted them.

A Dreadnaught busts in, Rappacini controlling it remotely, but she offers one billion dollars, and a truce, for the Hypernova. MODOK, seemingly wistful for lost love, says once he'd have given it to her for nothing. Isn't she sorry she broke up with him? Monica reminds him they were never dating, while some unseen goon who is sure to be dead soon snickers in the background, and they make the swap. MODOK pays the 3 survivors their shares, plus the rest of the crews' shares, and they go off happy. MODOK's still got over $960 million, Monica's got the Hypernova, everyone's happy.

Or not. The Hypernova's in a "temporal bottle", which decays once removed from the place it was kept, and MODOK delayed contacting Monica long enough her scientists can't erect a containment field before the bottle dissipates, so. . .

(Even being 'one with all,' Living Laser looks like a Ken doll made of bubblegum. What the hell was MODOK's fake Hypernova, to do that to him?) 

And this was apparently MODOK's plan from the beginning. Use the lure of the Hypernova to not only destroy his greatest enemy, but get said enemy to pay him a billion dollars to do it. I think Rappacini survives somehow. Pretty sure I've seen her in comics since this came out, and Marvel can use more evil scientist women, anyway.

{11th longbox, 40th comic. Super-Villain Team-Up: MODOK's 11 #5, by Fred van Lente (writer), Francis Portella (penciler), Terry Pallot (inker), Guru eFX (colorist), Nate Piekos (letterer)}

Coastal Missouri - John Drake Robinson

This is a collection of essays Robinson's written about his travels through the state of Missouri. He has apparently driven every mile of highway in the state in his car, which he named Erifnus Caitnop. It took me several hours past the point I finished the book to realize it was "Sunfire Pontiac", the type of car he was driving, spelled backwards.

Most of the writing is focused around rivers, specifically around Robinson floating those rivers, and what you find along the way. Stories about traveling on a few of the remaining paddleboat steamers that travel the Mississippi River, or about a man who built his own barge to sail from the headwaters of the Mississippi all the way to the gulf. He can't sail it alone, so he needs volunteers, and Robinson signed on from St. Louis to the confluence of the Mississippi and Ohio Rivers. There are also stories about encountering angry drunks on gravel bars in the Ozarks, or pushy ducks that know damn well you have food, so fork it over, buddy.

But you have to drive to most of the places you'd put a canoe in the water, so Robinson also talks about the roads he and Erifnus have traveled, and the towns - if you can call some of them that - he went through along the way. Places to eat - he doesn't have a wall-calendar scale like William Least Heat-Moon, but he certainly places a lot of stock in out of the way eateries - places he and a band he's part of played. Swinging bridges and a brief biography of the man who built them, or visits to one of the handful of covered bridges still standing in the state. Efforts to revitalize communities in different ways. I had never thought about how installing fountains is a way for a town to make some cash off all the people making wishes.

Also on the list of things I learned, apparently many spots in the Missouri River are named after steamboats that hit snags and sank there, a common occurrence.

Robinson alternates smoothly between humorous and informative. A little folksy at times, other times he lets anger or frustration show through when writing about people just throwing trash wherever they want. The parts where he discusses trying to cut from one blacktop road to another via gravel roads felt extremely familiar. Although where I'm usually tense with concerns about potential disaster or, gasp! being late, it's more of an adventure to him. Clearly its not untrammeled ground, but at least to him, it's a journey into the unknown. The road might dead end at a field or bluff or a river that's overtopped its banks. Or it might lead him exactly where he wants to go. He won't know until he drives it.

'Deeper into the woods we drove. Erifnus' motor groaned, and her tires ached, as signs of civilization dwindled to a single power line fastened to poles older than Methuselah, more crooked then Bernie Madoff. Using the sun for direction, I angled eastward, looking for pavement. But ahead, gravel, gravel everywhere, surrounded by heavy forest.'

It's My Life - in Music

It's been 5.5 years since the last time I did a movie soundtrack for my life, so I think we're due. As always, open your music library and set it to shuffle. The first song plays during the first scene on the list in the movie, second song during the second scene, and so on. I've added a lot of music to the collection since then, though I don't think much of it made it in.

Opening Credits: "A Lesson Learned," Limp Bizkit - As usual, not off to an encouraging start. While this is a much quieter song than you might expect, given the band, it's Fred Durst singing about how things haven't turned out the way he expected, becoming a big-time music star, and it doesn't feel great. He got swept up in all of it, hurt some people, and he's figured it out too late. The last line: 'Fortune and fame are disguised as your friends, but I'm lonelier now than. . .I've. . .ever been.'

On the plus side, hopefully this means I at least get a fortune! I can take or leave the fame.

Waking Up: "She loves you," The Beatles - That's some tonal whiplash right there. Also, kind of an odd song to wake up to. I guess if these scenes aren't necessarily in this order, it can work. I wake up, and to my surprise, the one I love hasn't moved out. Or she moved back in. I thought she was done with me (or was I done with her?) But no, she hasn't given up on us.

Although, I could go a darker route with that, if I was trying to get her to go away. The song does say, 'and you know you should be glad,' which, little ominous. Maybe this is an unhappy marriage and I want to divorce and get with my secretary. I will not allow Movie Calvin to be a philanderer, so he's got to do this properly if he's going to shack up with a much younger girl in a futile attempt to stave off the cold fingers of Death. 

First Day of School: "Joker," Requiem - This is from Alex's first album, The Electronomicon EP. Give a listen here! That's Jim Mahfood art in the background, too!

As to how it relates to my first day at school, hmmmmm. I could play the first 35 seconds, where it's building, over the trip to school. All the other kids on the bus are excited, but I'm feeling increasingly antsy, unsure what I'm getting into. After that, maybe a sped-up montage where certain things come into sharp focus for an instant, before receding into the blur.

Are the things that snap into focus good or bad? Eh, we'll play that by ear. Maybe I'm excited for coloring, or I don't line up properly for the slow march to the cafeteria and get yelled at. Maybe I make some friends, or I rip my pants messing around on the monkey bars.  

Falling in Love: "Come Over," Estelle - Estelle's singing to her lover to encourage them to go further with the relationship. While she's willing to give a lot, she's also willing to be patient, and accept if they can't give her as much.

So, who's who in this scenario? If I'm the one falling in love, then I should be the one making that sort of offer. I'll give myself to them, and it's OK if they can't give as freely. Anything they offer is enough. Of course, if we go with the darker interpretation of "She loves you," then I fell in love with this person because they give so much for so little in return, and later broke up with them (or tried) when I got bored/found someone else.

Simply for the sake of not being an ass, I prefer Option 1. Also, I think it fits better with "A Lesson Learned," where I'll eventually learn I can't continue in such a relationship, letting people use me, because it leaves me feeling sick and empty.

First Love Song: "Tigerlily," La Roux - A song about two people trying to have a forbidden relationship. They're trying to hide the attraction and desire, stick to shadows, fearful of discovery, questioning whether it's better to go along with what everyone wants, in exchange for being able to live a less stressful life.

Following Option 1 from the previous song, I'm reading it as my lover doesn't give as much because they're afraid to. For whatever reason, I'm not an acceptable romantic partner. Am I the, gasp, mistress in this scenario? I'm the one being strung along with promises that one day we'll be together openly. Just, not today. How awful. I never thought I would end up as Margaret Houlihan to someone's Frank Burns. I better be hella rich to put up with this shitty turn of events.

Breaking Up: "O Green World," Gorillaz - There's not a lot to this. Mostly guys chanting in the background while the lead singer keeps asking the "green world" to not desert him now. So I had it being the other man and broke it off, and my lover is pleading for me not to leave. Saying we complete each other and a lot of blah blah and I ain't having it. I've got my self-respect! *starts checking pockets* Well, I had it a minute ago. . .

Prom: "getcha groove on," Limp Bizkit - The title certainly fits for a dance, and it's a much more up-tempo song than "A lesson learned." However, it's mostly warning people not to mess with them. They're gonna do what they're gonna do, and if you don't like it, well, fuck around and find out.

Which sounds like a perfect lead-in to a break-up. Either that, or one of us tried to get back together at Prom, and the other was not having it. There was probably some, "you need me," insistence, and then my contrary genes kicked in and I said, "just watch me, asshole." Then I dumped an entire bowl of chip dip on their head. The principal was aghast.

I'm actually starting to dig the direction this movie's going. Very dramatic. 

Mental Breakdown: "Just the Way You Are," Billy Joel - And we're back to something soft and slow. Well, if I had a breakdown, I probably need to avoid overstimulation. After my big display at the prom (or some other event), I tried really hard to be a different person. To show I didn't need that jackass. But all I succeeded in doing was putting a lot of pressure on myself to "win" the break-up, or whatever. Eventually, I collapsed under the pressure of doing things I wasn't really enjoying, because I felt like I had to do them.

Now someone, a steadfast friend or maybe the therapist, is insisting none of that is necessary. I don't have to change to not end up with a jackass like Former Lover, or be successful in my career, and I won't make anyone happy trying to do that. I just need to be myself, and find what works for that me. 

Driving: "Crawl," Staind - This feels like it has to take place before the Breakdown, if only because it's such an ugly song about someone confidently asserting they know what I'm like. Plus the part where he talks about crawling while the other person spits. Oh, and can't forget where he screams, 'Everything falls apart, EVE-RY-THIIIIIIIIING!!!!' Definitely doesn't suggest a great mental state.

I suspect this sequence ends with me upside-down in a ditch, or maybe ramming headlong into a bridge support. Trying to prove this person wrong, to not give them the satisfaction of seeing me crawl back to them and their superior attitude, is really fucking with my headspace. Also, I probably got in a lot of trouble for dumping the bowl of dip on their head. I was the sort of student who would absolutely stress about getting in trouble at school.

Flashback: "Tomorrow Comes Today," Gorillaz - Another appropriate title, given the scene. I think this takes place prior to Breaking Up. Or during the Mental Breakdown stretch? That could be a fun shift. 

At some point, I have to replay everything that's happened, trying to figure out where I mis-stepped. What was the mistake? Even though I can't go back and fix it - or can I? - it would still be a very "me" thing to do, to endlessly stew over mistakes. The question is, am I realizing it was a mistake to ever entertain the notion of a relationship with this person, or telling myself the mistake was breaking up with them? Or is it something else? I should have ditched my job a long time ago, because it was making me miserable?

Getting Back Together: "Oh Yeah," Daft Punk - The song is basically an electronic beat with someone occasionally saying, "oh yeah." Not as a question, not as an exclamation, either. Almost like someone reminded them they already saw that new Channing Tatum movie last week. "Oh yeah, I forgot. *laughs sheepishly*"

How does that relate to Getting Back Together? It's not incredulous, like, "holy shit, how am I back with this train wreck of a person?" But also not cause for celebration. It just sorta, happened. Which makes me think the friend who was helping me during the Mental Breakdown and I got together. Maybe we dated at some point, or hell, maybe getting back together just means splitting the rent. We used to be roomies, and I lost my place during the stretch when I lost my mind. No car, no home, probably no job. They're letting me stay with them until I get rolling again, and even once I did, I just stuck around. We like living together, so we keep doing it. We're in a groove, so we're just rolling with it.

Heck, it cuts their bills in half, and I'm not a messy roomie. I don't like cleaning, but I keep my stuff out of everyone's way and don't take up a lot of space in the fridge. You could do a lot worse for a roommate!

Wedding: "Inner Universe," Orgia - I know this as the opening theme to Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex, although the version I have is 5 minutes long. I don't know what the singer is saying, having never bothered to seek a translation, so I go by what her tone and the music prompt in me. 

And that's a sense of falling. Given the length of the song, it's falling from a very high altitude. Like I jumped from the edge of Earth's atmosphere and now I'm plummeting headfirst at the ground, trying not to burn up. Then, at the very end, I stop like I canceled gravity, my nose just above the ground. (Certain songs, I have extremely particular visuals that accompany them. This is one of them.)

All of which is to say, there's not going to be a wedding. Maybe I almost let Former Lover (or some other dickhead) talk me into it, and I just went along. I didn't fight the pull, either because I didn't see it happening, or just didn't think I could. But at the last second, I'm going to realize this is not some universal constant force, and I can exert control.

On the plus side, abject humiliation for the Former Lover, as I go sprinting out of the chapel like my pants are on fire. Actually, given my aversion to religion, they just might be. I tend to spontaneously combust on holy ground.

Or there's the option where I'm wistfully watching two people get married, thinking it could have been me, if only my lover's family had approved. Then I see how much of a hell my mother-in-law would have been and realize that actually, I dodged a bullet there. 

Birth of Child: "Addicted to Love," Robert Palmer - Having decided I can pull an audible and ditch the wedding, Movie Calvin is not having a child. So, this is my roommate's kid with their romantic partner. I'm there when the kid is born, because I'm a good friend and I don't mind driving them to the hospital so the docs can handle all the messy stuff. And they're so incredibly lovey-dovey with each other as they coo over the baby that it's almost nauseating, but hell, I'm glad to see them happy.

If we're going the personal growth ("lesson learned") route, the couple having the kid are the duo I watched getting married and I realize I'm not only OK with not being married to whichever of them I fancied, I'm happy for the two of them to have found happiness together in the family they've created. 

Final Battle: "Sheena is a Punk Rocker," The Ramones - OK, this is taking place before the kid is born, but after the wedding. Former Lover makes one last play to try and suck me in, but it's with the same bullshit they always spewed. That I couldn't do better, that they knew best, that I wouldn't find anyone else.

But just like Sheena's not being guilted into visiting the discotheque a-go-go with her friends when she wants to rock around in the punk scene, I'm not having any of this crap. Whether I find anyone else is up to me, but I'm sure as hell better off alone than with this jerk. Do I throw something? Do I punch them? Do I dismiss them and walk away, and when they try to chase, they trip and land facefirst in something unpleasant? I'd be fine with that.

Or maybe the final battle is with myself, finally coming to terms with the kind of life I'm going to live versus the expectations everyone had for me. And I kick those expectations' asses! 

Death Scene: "Crimson and Clover" Joan Jett and the Blackhearts - If this is my death scene, I feel like the results of the Final Battle were a lie. I never got over that lover, or never really made peace with not living up to everyone else's expectations. Singing about not really knowing her, but thinking she could love her feels like it's of a piece with Estelle promising to do most of the loving in the relationship. I'm charging in headlong, offering all of me, and if I've bothered to consider whether the other person feels the same, would do the same, I haven't let the possibility the answer is "no" deter me.

Which, does not sound very much like me. Apparently Movie Calvin is much more a person to trust their instincts than Blog Calvin. That's not the worst thing. Maybe I died as the result of an impulsive act to save someone I saw was in danger. I didn't know them, not a thing, but I decided they were worth trying to help. And I died.

The moral is, never try.

Funeral Scene: "One by One," Chumbawumba - This starts with singing about a union leader who visited striking dockworkers, but dismissed their concerns. He had his eyes on a seat in the House of Lords, which I understand to be like the Senate with mandatory drinking, or maybe a frat house for old men with non-functional prostates. Which, to be fair, also describes much of the U.S. Senate.

So, people with the power to do something chose not to, because they stood to gain more by doing nothing. I feel this does not entirely go with Death Scene, certainly not if I died acting impulsively to save someone I barely knew. Unless I acted when others who were better equipped did not. Aw hell, did I run into a school shooting to rescue my friends' kid while the cops sat around with their thumbs up their tactical gear covered asses? Those bastards!

Or, rolling back around to "A lesson learned," there were a lot of people who could have helped me, but didn't. Which suggests maybe I had another mental breakdown, and this time there wasn't anyone close enough to pull me out of the spiral. I decided I could go it alone, but that means when I actually needed someone, there was no one. So maybe I slipped in the shower and busted my skull open. An ignominious end, but one that took place because I lived on my own terms. That doesn't keep my pallbearers from feeling guilt. 

End Credits: "Go Go Gadget Flow," Lupe Fiasco - This feels like the complete reverse of the Opening Credits. Very up-tempo, not necessarily loud, but louder certainly. Lupe telling us he's not done, he's barely begun, you can't stop him, you can't even touch him. 'My tank on full, your tank on "E",' or, 'look good on you, look great on me.'

How the hell do I reconcile that with, well, everything? Not the least of which is that I'm dead, so I most certainly am going to S-T-O-P. It doesn't feel like the kind of movie where you play this as an ironic joke. Unless. . .OK, I got it.

The Former Lover turned vengeful, and arranged my death. I was not the first paramour she did this to, and I won't be the last. The police don't suspect, and even if they did, she's too slick, too clever, too able to out-maneuver them in any number of ways for them to catch her. So the credits roll over a shot of her, looking impeccably dressed, walking away from my funeral, giving her current lover - my roomie? someone else? - a look that can only be considered contemplative, as the audience is left with the notion that they know who is next.

Overdue Movie Reviews #5 - Clue (1985)

A host of colorful characters are invited to an isolated manor, where they come face-to-face with the man that is blackmailing all of them. That man shortly turns up dead, and the guests, each using an alias, the butler Wadsworth (Tim Curry), and the maid Yvette, scramble about, trying to figure out who the murderer is, and how more dead bodies keep turning up, while also keeping anyone from outside the manor figuring out what's happening.

For the purposes of this, I selected the option on the DVD to play one of the three endings at random, rather than all three. Might as well simulate the '80s experience, though I can't figure what it would have been like to go see this movie, then talk about it with someone else and find out they saw an entirely different solution to the crime.

I got the ending where Wadsworth is actually the blackmailer, a reveal Curry delivers with a delightfully smug charm, which is appropriate given Curry is the one who holds the movie together. He can play the adult in the room, who moves things along when the guests are descending into panic. But he can also turn up the manic energy when needed, driving the guests into a frenzy, like during his lengthy explanation of the series of events that have taken place. He sprints from room to room, pretending to be one or the other of them, forcing them to either chase him, or at times being chased by him.

The part where he uses Mr. Green (Michael McKean) as a proxy for Mr. Boddy (I love that the victim's name is "body"), shoving him on the floor, then hauling him up so that Green can scream, 'Will you stop that?!', only for Curry to reply with a drawn-out 'Nooo,' then shove Green headfirst into the bathroom.

Madeline Kahn as Mrs. White is a delight, especially the comment comparing husbands to Kleenex and 'flies are where men are most vulnerable.' The bit where the guests try to conceal the fact there are dead bodies everywhere from the cop, by either playing them off as drunk or pretending to make out with them is made even better by Wadsworth not realizing what they did and being confused at how chill the cop is ('It's a free country. I didn't know it was that free.') It sells the haphazard nature of what they managed, and how disorganized everything has become. This isn't a well-oiled group of sleuths out to solve a mystery, it's a bunch of frightened idiots trying to stay out of jail.

Likewise, the scene where the guests discover splitting up resulted in three more people are dead is well-played. They can't even muster up the energy to be frightened, instead moving silently en masse, confirming one corpse before shuffling wearily to the next. They might as well be in a line at the DMV. Next. *shuffle two steps* Next. It works both as a sign of how exhausted they've become, the fear of death or exposure can't even produce adrenaline now, and gives the audience a breather to take stock and reset. We can take in what's happened at the same time as them, where things stand, and whether we have any clue what's going on before Wadsworth dives into his explanation.

Just a very funny movie, lots of good lines and gags, and the mystery is really secondary to all that. Like a group of friends are actually playing the game, but at least a couple of them are drunk or just not taking it seriously and messing around for a laugh. 

Precariously Protect Peace, Pointlessly Pursue Pain

Last time, on Precarious Woman Executive Miss Black General!

Thank you, General. Volume 10 picks up with Old Fart Numbers 2 and 3 - Usa and Turtle - and Flat-Chested Lady in an Outfit Too Young for Her - Oobaa - still fighting Hulking Shark Man. Carcha decided heroes today are too weak to preserve the peace the 4 of them fought for, so he's going to tear it all down. As the General, of all characters, will later point out, it doesn't make a hell of a lot of sense to fight hard for peace, then get angry because people aren't being as serious as you'd like in the more peaceful world you created.

Carcha is taken down via some teamwork from X-Chan (the tentacle monster RX's Scientist created) and Licht, the son of the world' premier hero. The two haven't seen each other since the exhausting 5th volume, when there were so many tentacle sex jokes I nearly abandoned the series, but Licht is clearly still infatuated and eager to work with the tentacle girl of his dreams. Anyway, they incapacitate Carcha long enough for Braveman to land one big hit and calm things down. But hey, Mother Justice has got to be pretty impressed with her son, helping to end all this chaos, right?

The battle and resulting fallout on both sides, takes up the first third of the volume. The "Organization" - all 3 of them - are captured, and Carcha is allowing himself to be kept in custody. The Hero League has, you know, I still don't care about internal struggles between faceless (literally, they're just drawn as shadowy outlines) bureaucrats, move on.

The Villain League, despite being instrumental in the victory, are mostly not pleased with how they did. This leads to infighting, and a competition to see which of the non-RX groups can get the most views on a video they posted about their group. The Monster's Benefits Society starts strong, but doesn't nail the landing. The Mecha Mountain Gang inadvertently post a terrifying video. The Rogue Roses, um, violated terms of service with their video, and BDS's video was a complete flop. It's a silly chapter, but it helps highlight the differences between the groups.

Then Jin busts out consecutive chapters at the pool, because he wasn't getting enough fan service in there already with the Rogue Roses' video. The first (Swimsuit Episodes are Always Good, No Matter How Many Times You Do Them) about RX hijacking the city pool for a vacation day and the damn pervy cat trying for a photo of one of his female coworkers after a clothing malfunction. The second (Enough with the Swimsuit Episodes Already) turns into a souped-up water gun war as several of the heroes, planning their own fun day at the pool, discover RX's treachery. It does have a cute ending as Frosty is very happy to be get to have a fun day at the pool. Turns out people typically don't invite the person with ice powers along.

After that, Jin adds another new character, as RX tries to seize on their newfound notoriety thanks to the whole mess with the General-robot, by going on a recruitment drive. This brings the General back into conflict with a creepy lady she met in an early volume. Well, creepy lady got herself a partner, a big lady named, appropriately enough, Eight Foot Tall-Chan.

While incredibly strong, Eight Foot Tall-Chan really just wants to make friends, and the General, for all her many, many, many, many, many faults, can be a friendly and considerate person. So she offers a position in RX. Is this shy, innocent young woman really cut out for a life of villainy or, whatever it is RX gets up to most of the time? Well, it's all in how you frame it, and RX, the pervert cat aside, are a tight-knit group. Boss can't really bring himself to scold the General for running off, and Secretary-San tells the General she wants to come along next time the General goes rogue.

Workplace solidarity is lovely.

Sunday Splash Page #396

"Lighthawk at the end of the Tunnel," in No Need for Tenchi!, ch. 8, vol. 11, by Hitoshi Okuda

Skipping No Longer Allowed in Another World because it's still releasing new volumes regularly, which I'm buying, so I want to hold off and see if it ends in the next year or two. Instead, we'll move to a somewhat different, older manga series.

Toonami introduced me to Tenchi Muyo and the assorted cast of alien women that crash land on his doorstep and mostly fall in love or lust with him. I was always partial to Tenchi Universe, which added Kiyone as the competent, frustrated partner in a buddy cop duo with ditzy Mihoshi. Plus, it cut down on some of the excessive amounts of blood ties between characters that were in the OVAs (OAVs?). Washu isn't Ryoko's mother, Washu also isn't one of a goddess triune, another of which has bonded with Tenchi's aunt Sasami.

If I want family trees that resemble kudzu, I have the X-Men.

No Need for Tenchi! is set after the events I remember from the Tenchi Muyo! anime. Kagato (who imprisoned Washu and turned Ryoko into a weapon of mass destruction) has been defeated. Tenchi knows about his ability to command the "Lighthawk Wings" which are some incredibly powerful ability he has, I think as a result of his mixed Juraian/Earthling heritage? The girls - Ryoko and Ayeka in particular - still vie for Tenchi's affections, and Tenchi is still mostly unnerved by all the aggressive attention.

The harem thing never held much appeal to me, even back when first introduced to it, though it's clearly a trope with legs, as I still see it in series today, where some nothingburger of a protagonist finds himself surrounded by women. Heck, No Longer Allowed in Another World jokes about it, with Annette routinely driven to tears when Sensei wanders off somewhere, only to return with another woman in tow.

Tenchi's more acceptable of a main character than most, if only because he seems like a genuinely decent guy trying to roll with an insane situation where his home is routinely besieged and blown to bits. He isn't a pervert; he initially freed Ryoko out of simple curiosity to explore a cave his grandfather told him was off-limits, and things spiraled from there. He's kind, soft-spoken, not boastful or out to prove how manly he is. But when his friends - and all these women are his friends, ultimately, whatever else there might be - are in trouble, he steps up. Can even be enraged by it, which is usually when the Lighthawk Wings come out.

(Tenchi's a bit like Gohan in DBZ that way. He doesn't heat up easy, but once he does, watch out.) 

I own three volumes of the 12, and have read probably 3 others at different points. In the last two, Ayeka's targeted by the prince of some (seemingly vanished) alien world, who abducts and brainwashes her to be loyal to him, and to kill Tenchi. Tenchi isn't mad that one of "his" girls got taken, he's frustrated and angry Garyu claims to love Ayeka but steals her mind and free will. The very last story in volume 12 is two alien crooks trying to use Tenchi as a hostage to force Ryoko to go steal something for them. If she refuses, they'll show him all the horrible things she did while under Kagato's control.

Tenchi pretty much breaks one of the two's face for that move.

It's not all villains emerging from the past to torment the cast. Okuda mixes in lots of one-chapter stories that are usually sillier. Sasami develops hiccups and after Mihoshi spouts some folklore nonsense about how you'll die after 100 hiccups, the cast try all the remedies they can remember to fix it. Ayeka and Ryoko take bets on what will work. In another, they're low on food, but Washu has an inter-dimensional pocket full of animals. Except Mihoshi locks them inside, and in a desperate, flailing attempt to fix it, starts mucking with the environmental controls. Or Tenchi poses as Mihoshi's fiance so Mihoshi's childhood nanny can see her in a wedding dress before passing away.

It was ultimately a series where I pick and choose volumes based on how much they focus on the characters I like best.

Saturday Splash Page #198

"East Coast Bound," in Runaways (vol. 2) #9, by Brian K. Vaughn (writer), Adrian Alphona (penciler), Craig Yeung (inker), Christina Strain (colorist), Randy Gentile (letterer)

Volume 1 of Runaways ended with the Pride dying to protect their children from the displeased Gibborim, and Alex dead after it was revealed he'd been the mole trying to manipulate events to protect his parents and Nico, who he had a crush on. Captain America shows up, the kids are briefly named wards of the state, but say screw that and reunite to live together.

Which is where volume 2, the first two years written by Brian K. Vaughn, with mostly Adrian Alphona on pencils, picks up. The cast live in an old Pride base under the La Brea tar pits and try to keep the city quiet now that their parents aren't around to do it. To the extent they have one, Nico is leader, at least out in the field, where they do a bit more superheroing than in the previous volume. They beat down the Wrecking Crew with, frankly, a lot less trouble than a group this disorganized should have. Then a group of former teen heroes - Darkhawk, Turbo, Ricochet, Chamber (except not really), Lightspeed, Phil Urich - trying to quit the hero biz seek them out to convince them they can also stop. It's kind of a mess, though Darkhawk does get to kill an Ultron. Points for that.

Later, they travel to New York to help Cloak when he's accused of putting Dagger in a coma, and run into the New Avengers, who mostly handle things terribly. I say "mostly," because Spider-Man finds Gert and a new team member and they have a calm chat over Chinese food, until Nico and Chase barge in and Nico hits Spidey with a knockout spell, eternally placing Nico Minoru on my shit list.

To be fair, if it wasn't that, it'd be one of 12,000 other incredibly stupid things she's done over the years. Still less irritating than Chase, who runs his yap a lot for a complete goober. Real "alligator mouth, jaybird head," energy from that guy.

There's a lot of interpersonal drama, much of it tied to new additions to the cast. A future Gert claiming to lead the Avengers shows up, dying, to warn them about a boy named Victor who will pose as a hero but turn out to be a huge threat. Victor Mancha eventually ends up on the "team", but it's presented as Nico's idea of a way to keep an eye on him, since Chase would rather just kill the guy before he can hurt present Gert.

In the meantime, Karolina comes out to Nico, by trying to kiss her. Because she interpreted Nico being, 'done with boys,' in a very specific way. Nico is not ready for that, which is when a Skrull named Xavin shows up, claiming his parents and Karolina's arranged a marriage to end a war between their two planets. Gender apparently doesn't mean much to a Skrull, so Xavin can be a girl, if that's what Karolina prefers, and off they go into space - for about 10 issues. Once Karolina's gone, Nico decides she's not done with boys, kisses Chase during the NYC adventure, then starts up with Victor.

That sort of rapidly shifting focus wasn't my teen experience - I basically for one person and that was that - but it does remind me of Alex in high school, where a different girl seemed to seize his attention every time we talked. Credit to Vaughn for capturing that aspect accurately. 

Vaughn keeps a plotline running in the background about a mysterious quartet, calling themselves The Pride, plotting to destroy the Runaways. That finally comes to a head in issues 13-18, most of which the Runaways spend on the defensive, getting repeatedly outflanked. I'd be annoyed by that, given how easily the cast handle superheroes who have been fighting tougher foes than them for years, given the Pride is made of a bunch of ordinary dopes. Well, three ordinary dopes and one hardened, but strictly human, criminal. But the New Pride are trying to kill the teens, while the New Avengers are trying to talk. You'd think with all the practice they were getting courtesy of Bendis they'd be better at it, but alas.

The battle against the new Pride ends with the timeline unchanged, the Gibborim still trapped, and one member of the team dead. Which results in a brief "breaking bad" arc for Chase in the final Vaughn/Alphona story, but no resurrections. When Victor questions letting Chase stay, Nico frames it the same way she framed letting Victor stay to Chase. They're keeping an eye on him, and if he steps out of line, they'll 'rip his heart out.'

Which is kind of funny, because this group, the original six from Volume 1, never really does that. Truly cast out the ones who betray them, I mean. Alex betrayed them, but they didn't kill him, the Gibborim did, when he tried to make sure his parents didn't take the blame for his plan failing. Heck, Alex claimed it wasn't a betrayal because he was never on their side, only using them for his plan, and still, as we see in subsequent volumes, they let him show up repeatedly without even kicking his ass, let alone killing him.

Victor, on the other hand, gets very limited benefit of the doubt. When he questions Nico about attacking Spider-Man for no good reason, Chase essentially tells him to be quiet because he's still the 'new kid.' Gert, who was right there conversing pleasantly with Spidey, immediately falls in line with Chase and Nico. When Nico's magic points at Victor as the mole helping the new Pride, Gert immediately swings a giant wrench at him.

When they're trying to figure out who Victor's "evil" parent is, he compares them to a group of abused children, who now assume every child is being abused. Which isn't wrong; they fought the Wrecking Crew because they assumed Piledriver abducted his son against his will, only to learn the kid wants to be like his loser of a dad. But there is a sense the whole mess with their parents has forged a link between them that sticks, even through the bullshit they pull on each other, and that it's hard for anyone else to ever really break in or gain the same benefit of the doubt.

Of the 24 issues Vaughn wrote, the two involving Xavin's arrival and eventual departure with Karolina are drawn by Takeshi Miyazawa. Three issues after the Pride story concludes are drawn by Mike Norton. The remainder are Alphona, whose work continues to grow stronger. Like last week, I think the combination of Yeung's inks and Strain's stronger, more shaded colors, brings out the best in Alphona's pencils. It really shows off the variety of body language and emotions the cast display, though I can't tell if Victor's hair stands up like Vegeta's because of his electric abilities, or Alphona's going for something else and it just comes off a little too stiff. Can't say I love how he draws Darkhawk, which is probably a complaint rarely uttered outside this blog, but outside of Old Lace or the Gibborim, Alphona is mostly drawing regular humans. They may have costumes or powers, but they're still basic humans. I would have been curious to see how he drew the Swarm, a man-shaped mass of bees, but Miyazawa draws that issue.

Vaughn and Alphona leave after issue 24, with Civil War in full swing and Iron Man having found the base. There's a Young Avengers crossover mini-series in there somewhere that also involves Noh-Varr, but I don't care about that. Joss Whedon and Michael Ryan take over as creative team, but managed one six-issue story. There were major delays, to the extent the final 3 issues came out of the course of a year. I didn't read those, but they involved Molly punching out the Punisher, and the team time-traveling to 1907, where they eventually picked up another new member, a young mutant named Clara.

Random Back Issues #161 - The Thing #2

Once an idol of millions, now a janitor. 

We looked at the final issue of this book 4 years ago, but today, Ben's still on the FF, his ultimately disastrous stint on Battleworld yet to come. He's cleaning up after some big fight with Annihilus that also involved the Avengers. Ben finds what at first glance is Annihilus' skull, but it turns out the bug-guy was wearing a mask all along (feel like that's been retconned, but maybe not.)

In a hurry to get to the hospital and check on Alicia and Franklin, Ben crumples 20 tons of wreckage into a beach ball-sized package and dumps it in a waste disposal unit Reed built that will break it into its component molecules, to be used for whatever 'gizmo' Reed decides to build next. Grab a trench coat, hat and some slacks and Ben's out the door, only to run into Willy Lumpkin, who is a little weary hauling all the FF's fan mail. Still, it beats the route that would have him delivering mail to Nixon. There's one letter addressed to "Ben Grimm" and labeled Priority Mail, so Willy hands it over and Ben reads something during the cab ride that bothers him.

At the hospital, Franklin is in stable condition, but there's no timetable for his recovery, so Ben's off to visit Alicia, who has one arm in a cast and a lot of bandages around her head. She can tell something's wrong, and we learn what the letter is about via flashback! To college, where Big Football Star Ben Grimm marches into a science lab and picks up Reed Richards, carrying him off for a night of fun.

Don't get your hopes up, this is '80s Marvel. Shooter's still in charge, so they're meeting some girls. One, Alynn Chambers, is Ben's girlfriend, while the other has heard 'oodles' about Reed from Ben. Reed's not stoked about hitting the student pub, no doubt calculating the number of brain cells it'll kill, but which Ben attributes to Reed thinking of his landlady's niece, that he met last summer (Sue.) Two weeks later, Alynn's waiting outside the locker room as Ben gets ready to take the field. She won't say what's wrong, only promising she loves him, then telling him to pretend she was never in his life at all. Sure, sounds simple. Reed bumps into Alynn and asks if she's going to sit with him to watch the game, but Alynn only cries and bails.

Ben apparently has a great first half, but when he notices Alynn isn't in the crowd as he returns to the locker room, it busts his concentration. They lose, his coach gives him a bunch of crap, which is pretty lousy when Coach admits Ben carried whole games by himself. Let someone else win the damn game once in a while!

Ben throws his helmet so hard it shatters against a locker, and storms out. Reed catches up later and advises Ben to tell Alynn how he feels. Ben tries, even proposes, and she turns him down. Alynn wants to be big in Hollywood, and to make it happen, she'd probably neglect him. Better to break it off now. She leaves, he chucks the ring into a pond, which is kind of a shitty thing to do with his mother's ring.

In the present, we learn Alynn became a huge star, one of the most beautiful women in movies. Alicia figures this is the big kiss-off from Ben, but he assures her that's not it. He's just scared of seeing Alynn again, now that he's the Thing. Not unexpected, but a little limp for all this build-up. That evening, Alynn arrives, revealing she had a stroke eighteen months ago that she's so far hidden from the press. She regained some use of her right side, but the droop in her face and slur in her voice are here to stay. She wants to know how Ben deals with it.

You might think, as I did, she means how does to deal with stares and whispers? Sooner or later her condition will be revealed, and that's what people will do when she passes on the street. Otherwise, his condition of "being a rock guy" is not really the same as her having a stroke. He hasn't lost any function of his body to my knowledge.

Maybe I'm wrong, because the caption on the next page reads, 'Sadness and memories begin the night, but with the Thing's support, Alynn Chambers realizes that even though her beauty has passed away, she will go on.' So she thinks she's ugly now, and wants to know how Ben deals with that? Ooof. Ben really dodged a bullet when she turned him down. Probably a relief to return to the hospital, where Reed's come to a decision. If you just felt a chill down your spine at those words, I don't blame you.

Franklin's powers are closed down, which makes him vulnerable. So Reed, Sue and Franklin will leave the FF, and find a small town where they'll live under assumed identities. The thing to note is Reed says 'I have decided on a course of action,' which strongly implies he didn't bother to discuss this with Sue, Franklin's mother. Her expression is more surprised than anything that says, "I am in firm agreement with this plan I definitely had input on."

The other thing I notice, the editor's note at the start of the issue refers readers to FF #257 for the big fight, and the blurb at the end also refers the reader to FF #257 to see the continuation of half the group packing up and leaving. They really didn't waste any time making things happen in comics back in the day, that's for sure.

{11th longbox, 78th comic. The Thing (vol. 1) #2, by John Byrne (writer/inker), Ron Wilson (penciler), Bob Sharen (colorist), Rick Parker (letterer)}

There's a Lot of Shapes in the World

I'm not entirely sure how to describe Shape of the World. You begin in a grey space. Gradually, the land varies and undulates as you move towards a red triangle. Pass through the triangle, you're on a shoreline, with trees, and strange, brightly colored creatures. From there, you'll make your way across and up the land, through forests and caves and canyons, always heading for the top of the mountain.

There's typically at least one, if not more of the triangles in the area. Passing through one changes the colors of your surroundings, and usually causes faintly glowing monuments, spires or just big, round rocks, to appear in front of you. You interact with the monuments (hit the right trigger), and they swell and glow brighter. Once you hit them all, a staircase appears, either to carry you to another part of that area, or on to the next.

That's really about it, as far as gameplay. You can wander within an area as much as you like before moving on. There's no limit, no defined objectives other than occasionally walking through one of the triangles and interacting with the monuments. Take the long route along the trails and across downed logs, or sometimes the monuments are giant doughnut shaped things and interacting with them will either launch you in the air or jerk you towards them. Except the terrain tends to merge back into a formless state if you get too far away, then diversify when you return, which can get a little confusing. I found myself getting turned around sometimes. In theory you can always see the triangles, so they can act as a landmark.

The interact function also lets you alter your surroundings, in that you can make trees and other vegetation vanish when the tiny black triangle that's basically your targeting reticle is visible over them. Doing this also, for reasons I don't understand, causes you to surge forward, as though you destroyed the tree by occupying its physical space. You can't do this with land formations, so it's not like you create the mountains and valleys. At least not consciously or actively. What exactly my character is, or how it functions, I'm not clear, so perhaps your mere presence creates them. The object observed is altered by being observed, or something.

Most of the animals are small, shaped like the jellyfishes that you encounter in underwater levels in NES Mario games, or worms that poke straight up from the ground like grass. Or the occasional turtle. But there are also seahorses the size of real horses drifting about in the air, and whales high overhead. To the notion of not understanding what my character is, most animals run when you approach, but default to benign. The interact button doesn't do much to most of them, though there is an urchin in the cave area that looks a bit like a dandelion puffball that bursts (and launches you) if you touch it. There's another blobby thing that turns transparent, so you can see its skeleton.

One exception: The early stages have something the size of elephant, but shaped like a half-jelly bean stood on its flat end. It moves with dozens of tiny legs, and if you "interact" with it, will ram you and send you flying. (You aren't hurt; or, at least, there's no visible difference in how your character moves. As there's no time limit, there's also no heath meter.)

Sometimes glowing seeds appear, always in clusters of five. You pick them up and a little silver triangle appears in the bottom center of your screen. Then you throw the seeds where you like, and stuff will sprout. The little triangle turns red as your seed bank runs low. Also, the color scheme of the area will change again. (Really, the game feels a lot like just sightseeing on a world under a black light.)

There are usually multiple seed clusters to find within an area, but even if the seeds look different, what grows is typically the same as whatever else is appearing on its own. Which is a little disappointing, but does give you the opportunity to go around making trees burst apart, only to throw down a new one in its place. And it gives you a way to annoy the giant half-jelly beans from a safe distance. Just chuck a seed at them! It may even sprout where it lands after bouncing off them.

It's a game that moves at the pace you choose. You could blow through it quickly, zipping from one triangle gateway to the next as fast as possible. Or you could find a spot with a view you liked and just sit there and stare. I tended to play until I got bored, which was probably about 45 minutes at a pop. But it was a very relaxing 45 minutes. 

Sirocco (1951)

Set in Damascus in 1925, the French are trying to assert control over Syria, and the Syrians are, as you would expect resisting. A French officer, Colonel Feroud (Lee J. Cobb) is trying to negotiate a peace with the rebel forces, while also searching for the one responsible for smuggling weapons into the country.

Among his half-dozen or so prime suspects, all men who deal in various goods, is one Harry Smith (Humphrey Bogart.) Smith is, in fact, the one Feroud wants, but for reasons besides the gun-running. Feroud is smitten with Violette (Marta Toren), but she also catches Smith's eye. And while Smith's attempts to charm her by purchasing a dancer's bracelet and having it "returned" to Violette, fails to impress, there is one advantage he has over Feroud. Violette hates Damascus, and while Feroud would never help her leave, and is too hamstrung by both is respect for the rules and his position in an invading army to give her the life she wants, Smith could certainly get her to Cairo or Constantinople, for a price. 

Cobb plays Feroud as a man of high ideals (and I'd say more than a little repressed anger), but woefully out of his depth with Violette. He dresses in his drab uniform while she wears fine dresses (and pitches a fit if said dress gets damaged in a bombing.) He speaks in a low tone while trying to order something for their dinner, only to be told the restaurant is out of that dish, to Violette's annoyance. Especially when Mr. Harry Smith sits across the room, dining on a filet mignon made from a steak he brought in himself.

Toren gives Violette on one hand, an experienced air of a woman who has seen a lot, or at least seen a lot of men fall at her feet. She's willing to play the games men ask in exchange for what she wants, but she's not shy about letting it be known when she has to upper hand. But sometimes the confidence crosses into a frail petulance, where she throws tantrums or turns cruel when not getting what she wants. Which might be expected of someone used to men falling over themselves to impress her.

Bogart is about what you would expect. The quick remarks, the world-weary expression, the cynicism. But the greed and self-interest are more naked than usual. This is Rick Blaine in Casablanca if he wasn't hiding a shattered idealist behind a cynical facade. The trenchcoat doesn't fit well on him, it's rumpled and swallows him up. He's been chasing the money for long, it's eaten away at him. He's not subtle with his plays for Violette's attention - she even tells him his mistake is that he tries too hard - or that his help or loyalty comes at a cost. People come to him with sob stories, and he names a price. They either meet it, or get shown the door.

Of course, that means when things turn against him, Harry has no one to rely on. He abandons Violette the moment things get hairy, but finds that any help he's going to receive, comes with a price. In contrast, when Feroud uses Smith to help him march into the lion's den, still hoping to broker peace, his comrades are determined to get him back, to the point of bribery being an acceptable price. And in the end, Feroud's idealism and commitment to his principles may have actually paid off, at least for one day.

Smith, on the other hand, tries to do the right thing for once, and it does not pay off. Which is a heck of a message, because it seems to say, if you've been an unscrupulous person for most of your life, you can't change your stripes. The world will not allow it, and you'll be struck down.

The Rot Underneath

This is why you have to be very careful playing keep-away with a dragon.

Volume 6 of No Longer Allowed in Another World picks up where volume 5 left off: A heartbroken Sensei hurtling across the desert in his dwarf-engineered motorized coffin, seeking death after the disappointing reunion with Sacchan. Instead, he barrels into a mystical tunnel that serves as the only entry to the 'forbidden land of Orange,' home of the fairy queen. To reach the Queen requires passing 3 trials, which only one great hero has ever managed. What chance could Sensei have?

Well, let's hear it for dwarf construction.

Sensei reaches Oberyth's chamber, who tells him the Faeries wish for peace in the world, and wants to know how Sensei would go about that, a trusting heart or absolute power. Sensei provides his usual response, of desiring only death and finding the idea of saving the world exhausting. Somehow this, combined with the fact Esche saw fit to give Sensei her blessing, convinces Oberyth Sensei might just be what the world needs. After all, the last hero was a believer in good versus evil, and that certainly didn't bring peace to the world.

(We only see the hero who made it previously in shadowy outline, but I really think the sword he's wearing is the one Nir has, which I still suspect belonged to the Fallen Angel of Dejection, who I also suspect is Nir's missing dad.) 

In addition to promising Sensei he'll be reunited with Sacchan at the end of his adventure if he keeps living, Oberyth gifts him a whistle to call on the faeries for help. More specifically, one fairy. Weep for Solulu, who is given that miserable task and soon set to work fixing statues Sensei knocked over, when she isn't being used as bait.

Returned to his friends, Sensei and Co. travel to Mittwoch, where they once again encounter the daughter of the late Dark Lord, Waldelia, who is. . .chilling out and laying low with her dragon, Ryuka. When she travels into town for supplies, she's approached and drugged by what turns out to be an Otherworlder named Itsuki, who then uses his "cheat" to trap the dragon in a way that it will gradually be broken down by enormous tree roots. Annette mentored Itsuki when he first arrived, and she's happy to see him. Less happy when Waldelia catches up, out for blood.

Even with how much Annette and Tama have leveled up, they're still outclassed, so it's fortunate Sensei got Solulu to free the dragon, who keeps Waldelia from killing anyone. (Although Sensei stumbled across the scene with Itsuki and Ryuka while trying to hang himself, so apparently Oberyth's pep talk didn't do much for him.)

Itsuki may not feel too grateful, because failing to kill the dragon means he's going to be punished. Before he can say more, he's drawn away through a magic portal. Seeking help, Annette leads them to the Kingdom of Blau, ruled by Queen Saphira, with the aid of Archbishop Elton, the only goblin in the church. Given his size, as he towers over Sensei, and is at least twice as broad in the shoulders, I would have pegged him as an orc, but whatever. He says he's a goblin, sure, fine. Godly living agrees with him, I guess.

Elton says he'll look into it, mentioning a group of evil Otherworlders, but Annette is unwilling to wait, even when Sensei declines to help. Which is Annette trying to actually live up to her idea of protecting others, rather than just relying on Sensei, though I feel she doesn't give herself enough credit. She, Tama and Nir find their way into a mysterious dungeon, where they run into some trouble from a big, armored guy with a kendo stick. (Related to a previous comment of mine about the Isekai Jackpot Truck running people down like it's GTA, the dungeon is at least two stories tall, full of cells, and if the one cell we see is any indication, holding a half-dozen child Otherworlders per cell. Are we sure it wasn't a Isekai Jackpot Atom Bomb?) Fortunately, Yamada, the paladin Otherworlder they encountered two volumes ago, shows up on a rescue mission. But, he leads the group of Otherworlders Elton warned them of? That's weird.

Well, Sensei's come to the same conclusion from a different direction, since he's been watching Elton and Saphira closely. Too closely for Elton's taste. . .

Sunday Splash Page #395

"Bodyguard," in Nightwing #81, by Devin Grayson (writer), Rick Leonardi (penciler), Jesse Delperdang and John Nyberg (inkers), Gregory Wright (colorist), T Bone (letterer)

This is the only issue of Nightwing I own, as well as the only issue I can recall ever buying. I knew the book took place in Bludhaven (though I had not idea where that was), and Nightwing was the original Robin, grown up. At some point, I think I learned Dick Grayson was working as a cop, though the "whys" were unknown. Somewhere along the line Deathstroke got a grudge against him, maybe? I know there was some reason Deathstroke had Chemo dropped on the city during Infinite Crisis (by which time Nightwing wasn't even living there so, kinda pointless by One-Eyed Willie.) That was all gathered passively from Wizard, or the Internet, or who knows.

As for this specific issue, I picked it up years ago because, back when I was reading Anderson Gabrych's run on Batgirl, Deathstroke showed up to cause problems, and there was a reference made to a previous confrontation between he and Batgirl. This is when that confrontation takes place, as Dick Grayson's in the hospital after being wounded in an earlier run-in with Deathstroke. Dick asks Cass to go check something out for him. "Something" being a video camera aimed at the police station where Dick works, a camera set up by Deathstroke.

The fight stretches over several pages, but is less than half the panels on any given page. The remainder taken up by Dick's attempts to slip away from a nosy reporter who feels like Devin Grayson could intend as antagonist, irritant, stalker, or future love interest. The fight itself is inconclusive; neither lands any serious hits, and eventually Deathstroke just pulls out a grenade. But Batgirl does escape with a disc that reveals who the target is, which enables Nightwing to keep the target (the lady cop up there) alive. So count it as a win for Batgirl.

It's strange to me Deathstroke went with a rocket launcher for the assassination attempt. Feels kind of clumsy and graceless for a guy who's supposed to be so skilled. I guess even a hired killer isn't feeling it some days, just wants to do the job and go home.

Saturday Splash Page #197

"Youth in Revolt," in Runaways (vol. 1) #6, by Brian K. Vaughn (writer), Adrian Alphona (penciler), Craig Yeung (inker), Brian Reber (colorist), Randolph Gentile (letterer)

Alex Wilder, Nico Minoru, Chase Stein, Gertrude Yorkes, Karolina Dean, Molly Hayes. Six teenagers who only really know each other through their parents. Parents who are secretly the heads of The Pride, an organization that runs crime throughout Los Angeles and much of the West Coast, a fact the teens learn after they stumble on their parents sacrificing a young woman to a trio of gods who will soon arrive in the world and destroy it, except for six people. The teenagers go on the run, learning a few more surprises about their parents and themselves along the way.

I was a latecomer to Runaways. The third volume - which we'll get to in two weeks - had been done for 3 years before I went on a binge buying most of the first two volumes in those manga-sized digests Marvel used to do for books deemed to be aimed at younger readers. The first volume, which lasted 18 issues, is the cast trying to stay out of their parents' clutches long enough to figure out what to do.

It's as much a disorganized scramble as you might expect. They end up in an old hotel that's partially buried by an earthquake. They're low on money, low on food, and while collectively they have a fair number of skills, none of them are exactly survivalists. Plus, they're teenagers, so long-term planning and calm decision making are not always at their fingertips.

Molly's the youngest and ends up missing her parents, plus any time she uses her powers, she pretty much passes out. Karolina's distraught enough at learning she's an alien and her parents are murdering criminals she asks a vampire to take her life. (Turns out drinking blood of someone solar-powered is a bad idea.) Alex tries to play the capable leader, but is just as prone to getting swept up in jealousy as Nico, who seems less discerning in her choice of partners than Deadpool. Chase is smarter than the others or his father give him credit for, but that doesn't mean he's not more concerned with showing off and trying to act cool. Gert takes full advantage of the fact it's easier to criticize than lead or offer constructive solutions, which has got to wear on your nerves after a while.

To that, Vaughn adds the twist one of the teens is secretly leaving little notes for their parents, assuring their loyalty. Neither the Pride or the reader knows who it is, which means everything has to be evaluated. Does Karolina really want to go fight crime, or is it just about getting outside where she might be able to slip away? Is Molly really as much a child as she seems, forgetting her parents are supervillains, or is it an act to lower the others' guards? Meanwhile, the parents are playing their own games, forming alliances among themselves and against each other. Which six get to survive the Gibborim's ascension isn't set in stone. Could be 6 teenagers, could be two teenagers with their parents.

Minus a two issues guest appearance by Cloak and Dagger drawn by Takeshi Miyazawa, Adrian Alphona is the penciler for the entire series. His work is stiffer than it would be a decade later on Ms. Marvel, hewing more towards photorealistic. But he captures the awkwardness of teenagers at that point, the big emotions good and bad. Everyone has their own distinctive look, in clothing as well as body type.

Maybe it's Alphona growing more comfortable with the characters as the series progresses, but I think Christina Strain's color work later in the series helps as well. She uses darker, richer tones than Reber does. The characters and the action pop off the page, have more depth. In the early issues, Karolina's powers are like a diluted watercolor, or a glowstick that's wearing out. Later, her powers are stronger, more vivid and varied in color. Likewise, the flames from Chase's "Fistagons" are a lot more dramatic.

The volume concludes with a standoff against their parents, the traitor revealed, and not everyone makes it out alive. 

What I Bought 10/12/2025

I saw Serena Williams in a commercial for one of those weight-loss injection things. The notion she felt she needed to lose weight is not doing anything good for my self-image. (Though I remain unconvinced of the long-term viability of those injections. They seem like artificial appetite suppressants, and I know from experience your body adapts if you just cut way back on calories.)

Anyway, here's the one comic from this week I wanted. I haven't found Bronze Faces #5 anywhere yet, and I didn't want to order from the online shop just for Runaways #4, so hopefully I'll get to those two at some point.

Batgirl #12, by Tate Brombal (writer), Takeshi Miyazawa (penciler/inker), Juan Castro (inker), Mike Spicer (colorist), Tom Napolitano (letterer) -  It would be pretty freaky to look up and see the Bat-signal, and then Batgirl seemingly drops out of it directly onto your face.

Cassandra is traveling with her new half-brother and Jaya to see Nyssa Al'Ghul. She's trying to train up Tenji, while Jaya is teaching both of them about healing through chi and chakras and whatnot. That's not so bad. Cass is also having nightmares about killing, about Shiva demanding to be avenged, and when Oracle tries contacting her, Cass turns off the communicator. Not great signs.

Nyssa has some lair in a weird place inside a mountain in the Himalayas, which is supposedly open to anyone looking to heal. And she's not prepared to let the Unburied tear down her little fiefdom, so she'd like Cassandra's help. Tenji says no, heroes don't work with villains. Oh, wow, where do you even start with that? Bronze Tiger really ought to have shared a few stories from the Suicide Squad days with his kid.

Cass, however, is in. Especially since the plan is the same one Shiva proposed: Find the Unburied's supply of the special blue flowers, and destroy it. Great, let's get the fuck on with it then. Also, I know it's relevant to Nyssa and Cassandra's backstory, but I really wish Brombal would quit bringing up the post-Infinite Crisis "Evil Cass" stuff. Just leave it in the dumpster of my memory where it belongs.

Then the big loud one of the Unburied, captured by Nyssa's crew at the beginning of the issue, busts loose, and Cass takes him down with Shiva's sword in one page. The small panels showing where she's cutting suggest she's not killing, but going hacky-slashy is probably a development to be concerned about. Still, it's nice to see her kicking some ass. Maybe she's settled on a course of action now, though it remains to be seen how she plans to go about getting her "justice."

The Darkness Manifesto - Johan Eklof

It's a book about darkness, or what happens when there's less or no true darkness due to all the artificial light these days. The book is a bunch of short chapters, usually each on one particular topic. One chapter might be about how the lights from cities are screwing things up for baby sea turtles, whose instincts tell them to head for the brightest light. For a very long time, that's been the moon reflecting off the sea. Now it's big city lights.

Or Eklof might discuss how the human body reacts to shifts in light, the way natural light has decreasing amounts of blue in it as the day ends. And so your brain starts getting ready for sleep, and usually suppresses hunger, because if early Man went looking for a midnight snack, they were likely to become one instead. Now, between interior lighting and screens of our various devices (which pump out lots of blue light), our brains don't get the signal it's time for sleep at night. So we don't sleep, or we try but there's still too much light coming in through our windows for us to sleep well. And that fucks us up in a host of other ways.

The last part of the book discusses examples of cities or other places that have tried to reduce artificial light, or make it less intrusive. Light poles lower to the ground, covered so the light doesn't bleed into the sky. Hospitals that shift the wavelengths their interior lights put out depending on time of day to mimic natural light from the sun. Vineyards working to make themselves more bat-friendly, which also takes care of a lot of insect problems. There's a piece about China planning to build artificial satellites in geosynchronous orbits above certain cities, to act like extra-bright moons removing the need for artificial lights on the surface at night. That sounds a) completely nuts, b) likely to have a whole host of other problems, and c) probably will not be taken at face value by other countries.

The book is broadly organized, but with all these brief chapters - none longer than 6 pages - feels more like a collection of disparate essays than a single work. My experience was a chapter would begin, then end just as I was getting into the topic. Then he'd start talking about something else. Maybe it was closely related; instead of talking about how streetlights are having deleterious effects on the bats that avoid light (because all their prey are in places they don't go), talk about how certain moths rely on twilight as a mating time, and now the skies are too bright for them to attract mates. But sometimes the next chapter is about bioluminescence deep in the ocean, or how sensitive a giant squid's eyes are. 

I feel like I should appreciate his brevity, but it left me feeling dissatisfied. I was expecting more depth, or maybe more of the type of philosophical musings about the importance of darkness that we get in the last section of the book.

'When the insect sonic generator was tested on moths under streetlamps, however, the moths were seemingly deaf and had no reactions whatsoever. It seemed as if light misled their auditory system. But moths react differently to dangers depending on whether it's light or dark. Birds are the main threat during the day and bats at night.'