Surely Someone Has A Comfy Couch?

In the Marvel Universe, when a character is experiencing mental distress and wants professional help, they usually turn to Leonard Samson*. Who do the heroes in the DC Universe go to?

And don't give me that "Oh, DC heroes are perfectly well-adjusted and thus feel no need to discuss their inner turmoil with a professional" stuff. I'm sure it's true of some of them, but I'm not buying that all of them have their stuff together that well. I know that the younger heroes turn to their predecessors**, but that isn't always an option (say the predecessor is dead, ala Ted Kord), or perhaps they don't get along with their predecessor (generational gap or something). Where could/would one turn then?

I'm sure Batman has considerable knowledge of psychology, but I'm not sure how many heroes would feel comfortable talking to him, and I doubt he would have much patience for it anyway.

I'm guessing it was J'onn. He could probably use the old telepathy to help the person find the root of the problem, and he seemed like a pretty understanding guy, so he wouldn't mind spending a little time helping them. And he's assumed many identities over the years, so I wouldn't be surprised if at least one of them was a psychologist.

You have any other ideas.

* Or, if they're desperate and/or stupid, Moonstone/Meteorite/Ms. Marvel. Whatever she's calling herself now. It's not advisable, though.

** When Kyle was first realizing he had a major power boost (when he originally became Ion), he talked to Alan Scott about that. Wally and Bart looking to Barry or Jay or Max, stuff like that.

It Sounds Good In Theory, But . . .

I'm reading Agents of Atlas #2, Temugin has shown up and is busting Jimmy's chops for not using Venus to keep the Sentry under their control. Let's set aside for the moment the logistics of how Venus was going to accomplish that*. Let's think about the Sentry as an Agent of Atlas. Sure, it seems like a good idea, the Sentry having the power of a million exploding suns and all, but the track record suggests that your team doesn't really benefit that much from having him.

- While on the New Avengers, the primary threat he helped with was the Collective, which was moving towards Genosha, with the Avengers trying to halt its progress. The Sentry was right there fighting, but they failed to even really slow it down.

- With the Mighty Avengers his best moment was, I guess, punching Ultron long enough Ares could shrink down, sneak inside and wreak havoc, though I'm not sure the Sentry was even aware of the plan. Or it was when Bob brought his wife back from the dead without even knowing it.

- His track record in the big events isn't stellar either. During Civil War, his big moment was beating the Absorbing Man and then registering, except then he flew out to the Moon for alone time. In World War Hulk he did fight Hulk until they both exhausted their energies and reverted to their civilian identities, but as soon as Rick Jones got stabbed, Banner Hulked up again stronger than ever, and Iron Man as forced to stop him with the power of SATELLITES! Then in Secret Invasion, he ran and hid out by Saturn for the duration.

And other than the last sentence, none of that deals with his various mental problems (like when Cap had to yell at him to quit crying in bed and come help fight the Collective). The point is, for a character as powerful as he is, his teams never seem as effective as you think they'd be, and the Sentry's various issues make him an unstable and unreliable team member. Yet Norman Osborn seemingly couldn't wait to get Bob on the Dark Avengers and acting as his personal bodyguard. Which is when I had a realization:

The Sentry is the Terrell Owens of the Marvel Universe.

Terrell Owens, for those of you who aren't pro football fans, is a pretty good wide receiver who seems to wear out his welcome on team after team, yet there's always another team ready to pick him up. Owens usually puts up good stats**, he's tall, strong, fast enough, and he stays healthy, having played fewer than 14 games in a season once (and we'll get to those circumstances in a moment). In 2004, he fractured his fibula late in the regular season, but trained diligently so he could come back for the Super Bowl, which he did, and he performed pretty damn well (9 catches, 122 yards). Purely based on his performance on the field and his skill (though he has issues with dropping passes), Owens is a #1 WR, and there are probably only a handful better. But San Francisco was actively shopping him***, the Eagles cut him, and the Cowboys decided they'd rather take a $10 million cap hit for him not to be there, than keep him. This is the Dallas Cowboys, run by Jerry Jones, the man who can't seem to have enough stars, and seemingly loves any spectacle that keeps the spotlight on the 'Boys, and he decided it was better to get rid of T.O.

Why? Because Owens eventually (whether intentionally or not) becomes a disruptive force on his team. He feuded with Steve Mariucci in San Fran over playcalling, and at one point stumped for Tim Rattay to remain starting QB over Jeff Garcia - who was only a Pro Bowler 3 times during the years he and T.O were teammates - because Rattay could throw downfield more. Or Owens thinks it's productive to criticize Garcia's sexuality for some reason. After a almost entirely positive first year in Philly, things were stirred up when he maybe directed some criticism at Donovan McNabb, after Donovan seemed to wear down late in the Super Bowl (Owens contends it wasn't aimed at McNabb), and wanting to restructure the contract he signed the year before****. The next season was the only one he played fewer than 14 games, and that was because the Eagles grew fed up and suspended him, then deactivated him for the rest of the year. In Dallas, he complained about not getting the ball enough, and said Romo and tight end Jason Witten were having secret meetings in their hotel room to draw up plays just between the two of them. The problem is, regardless of how true any of his grievances might have been, airing them to the media doesn't seem to help the team, if for no other reason than because the other players then have to field endless questions about it*****. Maybe Owens tried handling things privately without success, maybe he doesn't believe it causes problems, or that it helps more than it harms, maybe he doesn't care, I don't know. Either way, things always seem to be jumping for a team when Owens is around, and for better or worse, it's part of the package when a team picks him up.

And for all Owens' skill, his teams never win the big one. That's certainly not all on him, he's just one player, and the 49ers did win some playoff games (which they haven't managed since he left, though I'm not certain Owens' absence is the cause of that), and he gave the Eagles the receiving threat they needed that first season, and they made Super Bowl, even if they didn't win. So he can help a team, but so can the Sentry. If nothing else, The Sentry seems useful at standing there trading punches with the Threat O' the Day while the rest of the team figures out how to actually defeat it. Plus, there was the time he beat the Super-Adaptoid by letting it absorb his power until it developed its own Void and had a nervous breakdown. Even so, his teammates have to be aware that he could flake out on them and fly to Saturn at any moment, or make them dead with a thought, (If he can resurrect his wife that way without realizing it, I still contend it can work the opposite way, and that would certainly weigh on my mind if he was around me). With Owens, his teammates have to be aware that at any moment T.O may say something controversial about their QB situation, or the playcalling that they'll have to hear about for the next week (or weeks).

But there's always someone else lined up, ready to give them a chance, whether its Norman Osborn or the Buffalo Bills. I guess we'll see if this is the one that works.

{Postscript: I'm aware that the Sentry was effective in the Age of the Sentry mini-series, which suggests he's just better off working alone, or with a sidekick, dealing with his own unique threats, rather than on as part of a larger team. I'm not certain what the equivalent to this would be for Owens. An individual sport, like tennis or golf, where he'd just have a caddy?}

* Wouldn't she have to keep singing to Sentry constantly? I know she's a siren made human, but even she'd have to take a breather eventually, right? And this is the Sentry we're talking about. He'd probably spontaneously develop immunity to her powers at some point.

** In 13 seasons, he's had 7 seasons with at least 75 catches, 9 years with at least 1000 yards, and 9 years with at least 10 touchdowns.

*** Though they kind of botched it by possibly waiting too long, to the point Owens was a free agent and could go where he pleased. It was a whole mess of a thing, and I'm still not clear whether the 49ers could actually trade him or not. I guess they could, since they did get a draft pick and a D-lineman from Philly for Owens.

**** I'm actually a bit sympathetic to players on this, since the league is set up where they can be cut any time the team chooses, and whatever money was left on their contract, they mostly don't get. I imagine they'll be looking into changing that when they get to the collective bargaining again, don't you?

***** I'm not going to get into how much it might hurt the team, because hell if I know. Heck, it might even help, if they can make it into an "Us versus Them" thing, with everyone outside the clubhouse as "them".

Street Kings (2008)

That's the general impression I had after watching Street Kings last night, which I am probably going to spoil the ending for in the course of this discussion, if you care. Well, after watching most of it. I started to get annoyed with Tom Ludlow's (Keanu Reeves) self-destructive and rude behavior towards that detective Diskant and switched over the watch the early stages of Nicholas Angel's assault on Sandford in Hot Fuzz. I don't regret that decision, for the record. I came back in time to see Keanu and they detective going to meet with the two guys responsible for killing Keanu's once-upon-a-time partner.

Watching the movie felt like watching a weak episode of The Shield that had been stretched to two hours. Maybe that was just the presence of Forrest Whitaker. Certainly, Keanu's character isn't nearly as good at avoiding culpability for legally questionable shit he pulled as Vic Mackey was, not without help from above anyway. There's a scene where Keanu turns to Interal Affairs' Captain Biggs and launches into this spiel about how, if they bust him for doing illegal stuff, who's going to pick up the needles and baby parts, Biggs? No, Biggs and the other company men need "monsters" like Ludlow. Hearing it, I couldn't shake the sense I'd heard that speech verbatim, somewhere else. I'm certain there have been variations of it in any number of movies and TV shows about cops who bend the rules to do the job, but this really felt like it was straight taken from something else to me.

I found the ending generally unsatisfying. While Ludlow isn't as dirty as nearly everyone around him, he did do all sorts of questionable things, but he's essentially told that's OK, he helped out a lot of powerful people by doing those things, exactly as they'd hoped, and so he can go right on being a cop. Nothing really changed. Ludlow helps bring down a dirty commander who was reaching every higher levels of power based on the dirt he had on those powerful people. But all he's really done is ensure those powerful people - who did, we should remember, do all those legally or morally questionable things that were being held over their heads - remain in their seats of power. And all his evidence planting, and the fact he was planning to beat up his former partner when said partner was killed, and that he dragged a detective who probably was relatively honest into his world and got him killed, that's all under the rug, pat on the head, go on doing what you're doing as the sun rises over the hills on a beautiful day in southern California. I don't know that he's learned anything, or that he'll change at all.

It would be like a movie about a man and his dog, where we're shown a man angered that his dog constantly does its business inside the house, when it's supposed to go outside. Then, at the end, the dog finds its way into the Evil Neighbor's house, drops a load on their priceless Persian rug*, and now the man pats his dog on the head and tells it "Good boy". What's the dog going to learn from that? Nothing. I think Ludlow needed to take more of a hit for his actions than he did**. They were investigating him when he was charging into the place where the kidnapped girls were being kept, shooting everyone who wasn't caged, then planting evidence and falsifying his report, so clearly those activities were wrong then. So why is it wrong to do that to regular criminals, but OK with dirty cops? They're criminals too.

* Which, if I may steal a sin of one of the Mooby executives in Dogma, they probably purchased with money they saved dumping their mom in a crappy old folks' home, so we know they're really rotten.

** This is my issue with the series finale of The Shield, based on what I've read about it, since I haven't seen it yet. I get the impression Vic squirmed his way out of jail time that was rightfully his. He started the series killing a cop on his own team to save his ass, and he ends it selling Ronnie up the river for shit he (Vic) did, again to save his own ass. I would have personally liked to see Vic die, saving (probably inadvertently) another cop's life. Preferably Billings or that one young girl cop, the incompetent one? It balances things a little, karmically, from Vic killing a cop, and we get the dirty cop that was fairly effective dying to save, relatively clean cops that are basically useless. Maybe I'd like ti more if/when I actually watched it, but those are my current feelings.

A Blogger, A Baby, And A Brain

CalvinPitt: {*talking on cellphone* Yeah, the furry one ought to be here any minute. So what's up with you? You figured out how to do what? Make cellphones explode, using your awesome computer? Ooookay, then. *inner monologue* Why can't I have any normal friends? *end inner monologue* Well, ABP just came in, so I'll have to talk to ya later, Atticus. You'll have to explain the cellphone thing. Smite a troll for me on Warcraft, peace! *closes phone* Hey, ABP how's - gah! What is that?!} ABP: It's Deadpool's brain. {OK, what are you doing with it, in a jar no less?} It's not happy with Wade, so it left him to fight the Thunderbolts alone. {And it's prepared to accept living in a jar forever when Wade gets killed because he has no brain?} How should I know? It's a brain, it can't talk! Are those the comics? {Yeah, good luck making it through all of those.} Pfft, I can do it, I'm awesome! {Prove it.}

Fine, I will! *juts out chin* {Aah, a mini-Bill Cowher, if Bill Cowher was a panda!} Huh? {Never mind. I forgot you don't watch football.} Well, let's see. OK, Temugin gets a Bonk for being rude to the Agents of Atlas. He came on the ship without asking and called Venus a monster. Peter Parker gets a Bonk for letting Norman Osborn take over his sub-conscious. {Can we get a Bonk for Norman, for refusing to simply die and go to hell already?} I was getting to Norman! Yes, Bonk for that, and for not just paying Wade what he's owed. {Well, the question is whether to cost of using the Thunderbolts, plus the cost of the damage Wade will cause exceeds 100 million. If it doesn't, then Norman's made the proper fiscal decision, if not the proper moral one.} This isn't about money, it's about doing the right thing! {And you expect Norman Osborn to do the right thing based on what, exactly? He's a remarkable example of walking fertilizer.} I thought he could learn! {He's not going to when the government and public keep rewarding him for being a sleazebag!} I'm giving Deadpool a Bonk for betraying his brain, and for shooting Bob. {To be fair, Bob did try to sell him out. You and I would never be that stupid, and we weren't around Wade nearly non-stop for 10 issues like Bob.} Bonk to the former Yu-Ti of K'un-Lun, for throwing all those people who didn't deserve it into the 8th City. Danny wouldn't be in this problem if he hadn't. Bonk to the Worldmind for controlling its Novas. Bonk to Ssangyong's parents. The moms are too controlling, and the dad wouldn't help her deal with them. {At least she had Pete. Can you give Patsy a Bonk?} Why? {Hey, she left the Bear with Antlers and the Wolf to just fall into that icy ocean, after all they did to help. That is completely uncool.} Hmm, yeah, you're right! Heroes aren't supposed to abandon the people who help them!

I don't know what to do about Deadshot. He says he was trying to save the team, and that's good, but he shot them and hit them with cars, and that's not. {Give him nothing then. It all balances out karmically, and nothing is the representation of that.} I guess. I'd give Tarantula a Hug, but she's kind of burnt. And in the river. {Yeah. Well, give Black Tarantula 2 Hugs. One for him, and one for her. He earned it.} OK, and all the Immortal Weapons get Hugs. {If you're giving them hugs, maybe take some bandages along. Or some grenades. Might need them to escape.} You may be right. Deadpool's Brain, do you have any grenades? Deadpool's Brain: [Floats in the jar, oblivious to the conversation.] ABP: I guess not. Richard Rider gets a Hug, and so does Bob, because he was just doing the best he could. {If you say so. I still say he ought to have been more afraid of Wade then Norman or Tiger Shark. After all, they have to kill Wade to stop him, and he's harder to do that to than those others, Norman's ability to survive a spear to the heart, notwithstanding.} You're getting off-topic. {Sorry.}

I'm giving Gorilla Man some Applause, because he did such a good job selling those weapons, and Marvel Boy gets Applause for teaching Temugin a lesson. {That was a pretty creepy telepathic projection.} I guess Hellcat should get some Applause for getting Ssangyong to go back home, and helping her make up with her dad. {Doesn't that balance out karmically, like it did for Deadshot?} No, because I like Patsy more than Deadshot. {Ah. OH, I know you're on applause now, but could you give Ronan a hug? He had those flowers for Crystal, and then she goes and says she's just marrying him as part of a pact, and love has nothing to do with it. Poor guy.} You're right. He was trying to make the best of it, and he was actually happy, and she just broke his heart. Hug for Ronan, Bonk for Crystal! {I don't know if she needs a bonk. She was forced into the wedding, and she didn't know Ronan was listening. I'm not really mad at her, I just feel bad for him.} No, she broke his big blue heart! {Well, OK then.}

I think the cold is making me grumpy. I'm going to go somewhere sunny and warm. {That sounds nice.} It might cheer Wade's brain up too. He seems sad. Deadpool's Brain: [No response. It dreams of, well, we're better off not knowing what it's dreaming of.]

What I Bought 3/10/09 - Part 2

I have no introduction for tonight, so let's just get rolling.

Nova #22 - That's a nice cover, really makes risking your life to save potentially hostile aliens in the depths of space sound like a great time. Which means it fits what's actually happening inside. It seems apparent my hypothesis that Rich is dreaming/hallucinating/undergoing some test is a bust. Which is what I figured, but I really thought I was on to something. Oh well. I'm not clear on why holding the Nova Force in check drove the Worldmind nuts. Sure it held psychological dangers for Rich, but the Worldmind is a considerably higher intellect, so I'd think it could avoid the problem. I did not see that last page coming. Rather adds an air of desperation to Rich's actions now, I suppose.

I get the impression we won't be seeing Nova in War of Kings, rather plenty of Novas, which means plenty o' cannon fodder. Oh well, an event always needs faceless losers to be slaughtered alongside the occasional mid-level character. I thought Andrea DiVito wasn't taking over the art until next month, but I was wrong. Something's different about her art from what I recall in Annihilation. Fewer lines on the faces, and also thinner lines in general I think. Makes people look younger, including Rich. One thing that annoys me is people continue to not draw his scar. Did they just decide it was healed at some point, and nobody mentioned that? DiVito drew it during Annihilation, but not here. I liked the scar, it was a defining feature.

Patsy Walker: Hellcat #5 - I still can't shake the feeling that this whole story was supposed to teach Patsy something larger about herself, but if so, I cannot disern what it is. Ssangyong and her father reconcile, Ssangyong unwillingly embraces her power/destiny/heritage and returns to her mothers. Then she gets angry and tries to attack them with ravens, but Hellcat uses Ssangyong's Yeti boyfriend Pete to swallow/absorb the ravens, and beats up an octopus that was the hat for one of the shamans before it grew large and angry. Hellcat helps them make peace, and drives back to civilization, except now she can read Iron Man's thought over the phone.

This is one of those things where I'm nagged by this feeling that I understand the point, but I can't quite coalesce what I understand in any meaningful way. Which means I don't understand at all, I suppose. I'm sure it would help to reada it all at once, but not an option right now, so just have to make do. I'm a bit surprised about Patsy's lack of concern for some of her mystical assistants. Her focus on returning the kid is so single-minded it's a bit concerning. Perhaps a reflection of how she was used and tossed aside by Hellstrom? Still and all, I really enjoyed the mini-series. I love David LaFuente's art, and Jon Rauch's colors, and I kind of like being confused a little. Gives me something to think about during lulls at work.

Secret Six #6 - There's another prediction down the drain, as Batman is not the one who commissioned the Six to get the card. Deadshot's a bastard, and Jeanette's old, and weird. I am honestly surprised that Floyd cares about that card. The man has a freaking death wish, but he's worried about hell? Here's an idea: Don't shoot so many people in the goddamn head then you stupid putz!

Also, I still do not understand what makes Junior so dangerous. Yes, she's nuts. Yes, she had a horrible childhood. yes, she's severaly mutilated herself. I just can't see what's so terrifying about her that she would create such fear in people. Nausea? Sure, absolutely. Fear? I don't really get it. Her body looks like beef jerky that's been under the couch for three months, how does she have any strength whatsoever?

Secret Six #7 - Something about Catman's expression says "What? No Alfred, I didn't eat your strawberry pie! This red stuff Huntress is hastily wiping off my face? That's tomato sauce, yeah, that's it! We just had Italian for supper!" Big fight scene on Gotham Bridge! Everyone invited! Much death and fun to be had!

You know, I can't decide whether Deadshot is serious when he says he was trying to do the mission himself and save his teammates. I guess he wouldn't bother to come up with a lie like that to try and save himself, though. Fine, he's not a complete bastard then. Thing I don't understand. If Tarantula says she has the card when she attacks Junior, and all these people want the card, why did everyone fry them with assorted energy blasts? Especially since Junior was in the line of fire (I'm assuming there are at least a few of the villains stupid enough to believe if they return the card to Junior they'll get paid).

Hey, good news, somebody called Deadshot a poltroon! As you might recall from Annihilation: Silver Surfer #3, I love that insult. Sadly, I don't recognize the fellow that did it, and he died poorly a panel later, but don't worry, I'll raise a glass to ya.

War of Kings #1 - I received the Ron Lim variant, which is fine, since I liked it more than either of the other covers. So, Starjammers reach Kree space, prepare to attend wedding of Ronan and Crystal, Vulcan launches brutal attack on wedding, Inhumans and Kree get whupped, Lilandra captured by Sh'iar, Inhumans swear blood will be spilled.

It's not relevant to my situation, by I do like that Abnett and Lanning take the time to sort of explain things. This is why the Inhumans are running the Kree Empire, this is what's up with the Starjammers, here's Crazy Ass Vulcan and his plan, so on and so on. It might prove useful to anyone coming into the series blind.

Things I want to know: Who is the Sh'iar guy that crushes Ronan's hammer, and how was he able to do that? This is Ronan the Accuser, people, he can whomp Heralds of Galactus, and some little Sh'iar punk gets the better of him? Oh well, the last time I thought Ronan jobbed for someone, he smashed their fucking face in the rematch so, fingers crossed. Second thing, has it been a recent thing that Rachel Grey is sporting those "hound scars" all the time? I recall she used to have them sometimes when she used her powers, but it wasn't a constant thing, but everytime I saw her in the issue, there they were.

It's not bad for an opening chapter.

What I Bought 3/10/09 - Part 1

Yes, part 1, because we're talking 10 comics here, and there's no way I'm trying to hit all those in one shot. Be here all night. Anyway, here we go, with stuff from last week, and stuff from the first 2 weeks of February It's all old news to you, but I've worked damn hard to avoid spoiling these for myself, so I'm gonna review 'em.

Agents of Atlas #2 - #1 is still on back order, so I forge ahead boldly. Jimmy Woo courts Norman Osborn with offers of weapons, the Mandarin's kid criticizes Jimmy's style, and it's interspersed with a story from the '50s about a phantom Commie jet fighter, which is all kinds of interesting. Beatniks get Bob drunk! Outstanding.

Well, the series is all good with me so far. I like people trying to trick Norman Osborn, I like Norman using loser super-villains as (ineffective) muscle, I even like the fact Temugin is an unlikeable prick. Everyone else in the cast is cool, so it's nice to have a smarty-pants jerk to show up every so often. I wonder if Namora' protectiveness towards M-11 is as simple as his being the one that found and revived her? I like Pagulayan's art, but I must admit I really like Gabriel Hardman's work on the 1958 scenes. Very Darwyn Cooke-ish to me, and there's that effect where the air immediately around people is brighter than the rest, like a soft filter camera effect. Nifty.

Amazing Spider-Girl #29 - Oh dear, the Tube May has, in addition to soaking in whatever was in the tube, been partially infused with symbiont DNA, and she, Regular Mayday, and our Osborn/Parker combo have combined to form a 'Goblin God'. You can't see it, but I just face-palmed typing that. And now Mayday is going to try and help her father battle Norman inside Peter's subconscious stronghold. That's another face-palm.

I appreciate that DeFalco and Frenz are trying to wrap up the series with a bang, but I think they're going a bit far with it. Maybe some darker coloring would have helped because the Goblin sigh God comes off looking ridiculous, rather than any kind of menacing, with the exception of the second to last panel where he's almost entirely in shadow. OK, I'm being pretty negative here, so let me throw a positive comment in. While I may not like the idea of a final battle in Peter's subconscious stronghold, I do like that it's built out of all the memories of the people he fights for (one of the images is that shot from Amazing Fantasy 15 where he gets the microscope from Uncle Ben and Aunt May). That was appropriate.

Deadpool #7 - Were the constant Die Hard references in this issue necessary? Probably not. Were they highly entertaining? For me, yes. I wanted more Hallucinating Deadpool, and I got more hallucinating Deadpool. Yay for me. I will admit, I went to IMDB to see if that last thug Willis shot in the vault with Hans really was Huey Lewis like Wade said. Somehow, I always figured it was a Dallas Cowboy, like Jay Novachek or somebody (I know, Novachek wasn't in Dallas when they made Die Hard, he's just the first Cowboy that came to mind). IMDB says no, so we'll just chalk that up to Wade being in an '80s kind of mood this issue.

Problem with the issue, beyond the fact Norman Osborn would even bother to find Bob to try and use to trick Deadpool, rather than simply sending more than one big angry muscle-headed imbecile: the abrupt end of the whole thing. Wade shoots Tiger Shark a few times, he goes through a window, that's it. Really? For a guy who fights Namor, a few bullets? They don't even seem to be special explosive bullets or anything. he shot Bob in the hand, and it didn't get blown off or anything, so I am skeptical. I know Wade doesn't plan things, but maybe hit him with a car, then explode it? Just a suggestion.

Random art comment: Medina draws Bob's mask in a way that the eyes remind me of Arthur from The Tick. Intentional reference, or just coincidental?

Deadpool #8 - Alright, more Hallucinating Wade! And the hallucinations make fun of Norman Osborn! And he makes fun of Osborn's hair! That might just vault this issue above Agents of Atlas #2 for best comic of the week (of the five I've read so far).

The issue is Deadpool trying to barge into Avengers Tower to get Osborn, and somehow making it past Norman's defenses, despite the fact he and his brain stop speaking to each other part way through. This is probably bad, since Norman is being more clever than Wade, which I grant you isn't saying much. I still enjoy Medina drawing Wade's, um 'divorced from reality' moments, and in terms of depicting panel-to-panel action (like during the sequence with remote goblin gliders), it's looking good. But single-page spreads do not seem to be in Medina's wheelhouse. That final page, that is supposed to be Wade running from the T'Bolts, was rather lackluster. Wade doesn't really look like he's running, and the Thunderbolts appear to be floating in a sort of starry grey soup. Can't get a little background scenery in there? A chair, a window, a floor?

Immortal Iron Fist #22 - They're trapped in the 8th City, and it really sucks there. I'm curious how, if it took 7 Weapons to seal the gate, they opened it with just 6. Maybe that's why they were so fried when they got there. Either way, Danny may have found a potential ally, assuming he's in any condition to do anything.

Travel Foreman draws people who look bedraggled, filthy, and generally beat-to-hell very well. Danny has a real "crazy person on the street" look to him, which probably makes sense given his circumstances. Also nice to see he was wearing a cast (initially anyway) so they haven't forgotten he nearly had his arm torn off by Ch'i-Lin. Foreman is still drawing the fights in mostly really small panels, and not in the most detailed manner, but I think that's intentional. The outcome of these fights is already known, so they aren't really important except to establish why the Weapons are unable to mount any sort of effective resistance or escape attempt. Also, I wanted to say I liked the page where Foreman was drawing the scroll Danny was reading about the 8th City. It looked very well done.

OK, so that's it for Part 1. Part 2 tomorrow, and ABP will be stopping by Thursday, for those looking ahead to that.

How Do You Like Your Jolly Jonah?

That's what I'm wondering tonight? Do you like you Jonah Jameson with a burning hatred for all vigilantes, or simply locked onto Spider-Man to the point that not only does he write an endless string of scathing editorials about how bad Spider-Man is, he commissions the construction of Spider-Slayers and experiments that produced the Scorpion and the Fly?

If you prefer him to intensely despise Spider-Man, do you prefer that it be out of jealousy, fear, or some reason we aren't aware of?

Do you like it when Jonah actually takes aim at people who deserve it, say Wilson Fisk in that Fall of the Kingpin story from Daredevil 297-300? How about when he stands up to people trying to intimidate, or buy his principles? At one point during that Operation: Zero Tolerance X-Thing, Bastion tried to provide Jonah with some inflammatory information on his opponents, and Jonah refused to publish it, because he didn't trust Bastion's motives. Flat turned him down. Or does that seem out of place to you, coming from a character that so often is willing to distort anything Spider-Man does as part of some larger scheme or grab for attention?

Or maybe you prefer a Jonah that's a bit gruff, but whose heart is generally in the right place. He may make mistakes, whether because he thought it was the right decision at the time, or just because it was a snap decision, but he'll actually listen to people and correct his mistake. I think that would be Ultimate Universe Jonah, for the record.

Maybe you like all of them. I have to admit, there's a sort of fun to watching JJJ lose his mind simply because he sees Spider-Man crawling up a building across the street, but I do enjoy those moments where he's calm, where he checks to see how his wife or son are doing, or when he comes to Peter's house in the middle of the night to admit it was wrong to fire him simply for asking a question.

I guess it's my love of redemptive stories, that idea that nobody is totally bereft of humanity. Which is odd, because I think I'd actually be annoyed if they tried a redemptive thing with Norman Osborn at this point. So there's a limit to how much suffering the character can cause before I decide they're not worth the trouble of having hopes for. I suppose the reason Jonah's never hit that point with me is because he was well past the point where he was actually financing the creation of Spidey's enemies by the time I was reading comics, and well into the point where those folks were as focused on killing him as they were on Spidey.

Does that make Jonah's story about the dangers of pride? Man sees great power wielded by mysterious being who he distrusts, he attempts to harness similar power without understanding its source to counteract the mysterious being, things go awry, and now his creations attempt to destroy him, forcing him to rely on the mysterious being. Parts of it seem similar to Frankenstein and his monster. Anyway, that's a little off the original topic, but if you wanted to discuss it also, that's cool.

Because The World Series Of Poker Uses Teep Blockers, You Know

Without the use of his superhuman abilities, how insightful is the Martian Manhunter? With telepathy, J'onn can normally probably learn quite a bit about a person with little time.

What if that isn't an option? How perceptive is he then? Say he was fighting some foe, and he can't read their mind, and isn't sure why. The foe claims it's because they are a superior telepath to J'onn, and not only are they blocking his attempts to probe their mind, they're actually messing with his perceptions at this very moment. J'onn can't poke inside their mind to determine whether this is true. Do you think he could determine if they were bluffing*?

Granted J'onn was a detective for at least some of his time on Earth (among many other identities), but I have no idea how often he would have solved cases relying solely on intuition, rather than his considerable array of powers. I'm sure he wants to try and learn about how Earthlings do things, but that probably takes a backseat to expediency when there's a murderer on the loose. I know in JLA 50, he told Wonder Woman that he isn't the detective Batman is**, because he lacks a certain level on deductive insight the Dark Knight has. Which suggests that without the skeleton key of being able to peek inside your mind, J'onn couldn't tell whether you have three aces or not. Although, he has been on Earth for awhile, surely he's picked up some things just from being around so many people.

* For the purposes of this, say they are bluffing. It wouldn't actually be a bad gambit to try, getting J'onn to doubt his senses. Hey, against someone as powerful as him, you really ought to grasp any advantage you can find, right?

** Though other than Detective Chimp, who is? Elongated Man, I guess.

How Do You Define Literature?

For starters, please check out this thread. I really would advise you read at least the first couple of pages, since George Berryman does get around to explaining his position, as well as what prompted this.

I guess I should start with my thoughts. To me, it feels like a variation on the question of whether something is art or not. I've never had a particularly solid handle on how I define that term, except to think that something which is art ought to have a deeper meaning beyond what's on the surface, and be able to evoke different reactions in different people, rather than one stock reaction. It can speak to us in more than one way*, basically.

OK, that's all well and good, I've got my half-assed idea of what art is, whoope-de-doo. What does it have to do with literature? Well, I think the issue here is how one goes about defining literature. George Berryman is taking what I feel is a basically quantitative approach, in that "literature must consist of x, y, z, but must not have q". He(? I'm guessing) Feels that literature allows the audience to visualize everything in their head, allowing each person, in their own way, a unique experience. Comics, by having pictures that definitively show you what's happening, rob the reader of that, and that makes them "not literature".

That's a bit curious to me, because wasn't part of the issue some people had with Final Crisis, that Morrison and the 1,000 Artists weren't showing us everything, they were letting us fill-in some of the gaps. Morrison says Aquaman showed up to defend Atlantis when they needed him, we get to decide where he came from all of a sudden, and what he did, and so on? I think Mr. Berryman's argument would be that the work itself still shows us the world these events took place in, and defines how the characters appear to us, so merely leaving plot points undocumented is below the apparent critical threshold of audience freedom he feels is required.

Maybe the issue I'm having is that we aren't really defining the same thing. I think Berryman is thinking of literature strictly in the sense of "any works which are strictly words", which means my account of the Flying Castle Incident last July is literature (I'm so proud of myself). Meanwhile I'm thinking of it as LITERATURE, as in, I guess, important works, which, like my "art" definition, carry deeper meaning beyond the surface events, and can maintain that relevance beyond the era in which they were written**. So for Berryman, Crime and Punishment, and Clive Cussler's Sahara are both literature, where I'd apply the term to the former, but not the latter, because, enjoyable action-adventure romp I may find Sahara to be, I don't recall finding deeper meaning in it. It pretty much tells you how you're supposed to feel about things (frequently outraged, or amazed), and that's it***. So Berryman says "All novels are literature", I say "All novels are novels, but not all novels are literature".

I suppose what's implicit in that is me thinking of literature as a written work, where pictures aren't essential, which is Berryman's position. I don't think it's any great slight against comics as a medium if it isn't considered literature****. Still, there are a couple of things I wonder about that I'm thinking could shift things, so I'm be eager for your input. Is a complete reliance on the written word - and by default, the reader's imagination - essential to literature? Pictures have been used as a form of writing for thousands of years, so they have at least some ability to function as a method of conveying information. 'A picture is worth a thousand words', so could the pencils, inks, and coloring be considered written information the story is giving us? If so, can't comics qualify? It's all a presentation of information in a visual representation, just different forms of visuals. A focus on visual information could still (were one so inclined) exclude movies, and TV shows and the like from literature, since they also use auditory information*****. I may be going too all-inclusive here, which is strange since my definition of literature in the preceding paragraph was more restrictive than his, at least with regard to strictly written works. I'm restrictive, but desiring of greater inclusion. A contradiction? Well, that's what you're going to help me with, right?

* I developed that, for the record, in an Art of Film class I took as an undergrad, based on something in the text about how films can often be interpreted in opposite ways, and both interpretations can have merit. "The variability of theme" was how I tried to differentiate art from propaganda, which was the topic of an essay question discussing Casablanca on the first exam. Of course, I think I only got a C+ on that essay, so it's perhaps a poor thing to hang my hat on.

** That timelessness aspect is something I just considered might be part of it. I don't know whether it's accurate or not, but most things considered literature were written a while back, but our professors insist can still teach us things.

*** Though perhaps there's something we're meant to learn from a story that ends with our heroes finding the Confederate ironclad, which crossed the Atlantic and wound up beached in North Africa, containing not just a vast repository of Confederate gold, but the corpse of Abraham Lincoln, who had apparently been captured by the Confederates, and not assassinated as were believed, because Henry Seward hated Lincoln so much he wouldn't negotiate for his release. So the moral is, Henry Seward was a dick?

**** Which raises the question of why I did this post? Answer: Because I was bored, and the topic's potential for discussion interested me, even if the final conclusion - assuming there can be one - doesn't.

***** Even the old silent movies had someone in the theater plinking along on a piano, providing mood appropriate music, didn't they?

I Generally Prefer Batman As The Antagonist

Somewhere in the misty depths of this blog, I said something to the effect that I couldn't see myself buying a Batman comics. I think it was probably in relation to one of those "do you follow characters or creators?" questions, and I was explaining that no writer was going to get me to buy Batman, or Detective Comics. I feel I should admit that statement wasn't entirely true. I mean, I do have 10 comics from those two titles in my collection. Granted, none of them are from the last decade (I believe Batman 541 is the most recent), and most of them are actually Knightfall related issues I bought in those bags at the grocery store with the random set of 5 comics, so perhaps it's more accurate to say I can't see myself putting a Batman title on my pull list.

Anyway, I'd been thinking about the whys and wherefores of this, because my job does allow my mind the opportunity to wander onto such topics. After all, I can find Batman really cool, whether he's boldly telling off the Spectre, or losing control and repeatedly backhanding the Joker, or getting his back broken by Bane, I mean, beating Bane, and responding to Bane's 'Gotham is in my pocket' with, 'Prepare to be mugged'. Wait, that was Jean Paul Valley, but he was Batman then, and it was still cool*. I think the issue is that a lot of Batman's character seems to revolve around the fact he always seems to be in control. He's taken his grief and loss, and turned it into this driving force in himself to protect people. He always has a plan, and you thinking you're 3 steps ahead is just step 12 in his 47-step plan to stop you.

So I guess I find that frustrating on some level, maybe a little irritating that he somehow plans for every eventuality. And I'm drawn to the stories where he does lose control, whether it's of himself, or the situation. Maybe the thing about that Spectre scene I mentioned is it's pretty clear Batman can't do anything to stop the Spectre, and could be squashed like a bug if the Spectre felt like it, but he tells him off anyway. Batman's clearly not running things here, but he's not going to let Spectre feel as though that shakes him.

The other side to all this is that I enjoy watching things blow up in his face. That thing where Ra's steals his secret "Stop the JLA if they go bad" plans, then uses them to further his own scheme? Hilarious. The most frequent examples of this for me were Batman being kind of a jerk to one of his little group, in that character's title, which I was buying. For example, Robin and Spoiler dated for a while, but only in their costumed identities. Tim knew Spoiler was Stephanie Brown, but she didn't know who he was, and he couldn't tell her, because it would jepordize Batman's secret, and that's a no-go. Fortunately, Spoiler was OK with this**, and so that was how things went for a time. Then, Batman decides "Yeah, time to start training Spoiler" (which was a wise decision), and decides the way to tell Tim is to tell Spoiler Robin is Tim Drake and send her to break the news***, which spazzes Tim out, because he thinks he's screwed up and blown his and Batman's secret. Which isn't the case, as Batman has not seen fit to reveal his identity to Spoiler****.

Anyway, Tim eventually points out to Batman that this is screwed up because Robin and Spoiler have been trying to have a relationship with this huge issue in between them, and Robin hasn't been able to remove it specifically because of his loyalty to Batman, then Bats just up and decides he'll do the telling without consulting the person whose secret he's spilling? Not cool, O Dark Knight. So I get to see Batman screw up (in my estimation, and he admitted it as well, to Spoiler anyway), and as an added bonus, he comes off like an unjust authority figure, which suits my distaste for bossy authority figures*****. It makes Batman a bit like Jonah Jameson (when Jonah isn't commissioning the construction of Spider-Slayers or Scorpion): A sort of extra irritant our hero has to deal with in their costumed experiences, but not one that can have their hash settled by a good thrashing******. It's a different sort of problem for Robin (or Batgirl, or Oracle, or whomever), made worse because they respect Batman and don't really want to call him out. Plus he's intimidating, 'cause you know, he's Batman.

It's not a role I'd want Batman to play constantly (since it would probably derail the book), but every so often seeing his plans go awry can be entertaining.

* Though part of me thinks he should have said something like 'Prepare to have it picked', 'cause Bane described it as being in his pocket. But seeing as he was preparing to lay down a severe beating on Bane, "mugged" probably was the more mood-appropriate verb.

** For a while. She eventually started trying to figure out Robin's secret identity on her own, without success.

*** According to Tim, Bats played it this way because of some falling out he had with Alfred, where Alfred had leave Wayne Manor, and was serving as Tim's butler at the private school Tim was attending. Batman didn't want to risk running into Alfred, so he told Spoiler who Robin was so she could find him and tell him what was going on.

**** And I guess she didn't think it was wise to press the issue, given Batsy's attitude towards her crimefighting in the past.

***** Which is, I'm sure, related to my being more of a Marvel fan, where authority figures are usually evil, or incompetent, or both.

****** Obviously, the reasons why you can't settle Batman and Jonah's hash with a good thrashing aren't the same, but one way or the other, an attempt to deal with frustration by beating up the source won't end well for you either way.

Hopefully We'll Avoid Arguments About Crime-Fighting Methods

One thing I've developed as a side-effect to reading (and enjoying) Garth Ennis' Punisher MAX work is I don't feel much interest in seeing the Punisher in the Marvel Universe proper. I guess that stems partially* from my disinterest in his run-ins with Spider-Man and Daredevil. As you might know, those two don't really approve of Frank's "Let's kill the criminals" attitude. That leads to tension between them, if not outright attempts to apprehend Frank by the other costumed type**. At that point, most stories seem to boil down to two conclusions: Frank is captured, or Frank escapes. Well, the first leads to "Punisher in jail", which has been used to some effect in the past, but it limits your options with him, until you get him back out of jail. My problem with the second is it requires the hero to play the fool for Frank to escape. Not all the time; sometimes Castle takes advantage of the confusion of a big fight, or the arrival of emergency services, or random innocents being in danger, and slips away while the hero is occupied. Still, there are times where it's as though Frank has some gas pellet that saps the I.Q. of people around him, and they wind up looking like chumps.

So I imagine it's the lack of a philosophical difference that keeps me from minding Frank's showing up in Moon Knight. I doubt there's going to be a lot tedious arguing between the two about whether they should kill the criminals they're inevitably going to confront. We know Frank won't kill any cops, and Jake has already made it clear he's not OK with that either, so that just leaves the criminals to kill, and any innocents around to not kill. Should keep things simple.

* The other reason is I've grown pretty comfortable with the idea of Frank focusing on more "normal" crime, and perhaps deciding that going after costumed villains is just too much trouble. You have to fight the heroes, it requires specialized ordinance, and the villains never stay dead. Sure his struggle with more everyday crime is just as endless, but there he can usually point at someone he shot and feel confident they aren't coming back in a couple months.

** I was going to say hero, but that would imply Frank is a hero, and that tag doesn't really fit him.

Maybe It's A New Challenger

One thing I'm waiting to see more about in Moon Knight is the idea that Khonshu has other followers/worshipers/devotees besides Marc Spector. Khonshu said as much during an argument they had in the previous arc, when Marc was calling out for help, and Khonshu responded by mocking him. Marc demanded help, because if he died, Khonshu would be a god with no followers, and Khonshu blithely responds that he never told Marc he was the only one, then walked off.

Move forward to the current story. There's someone running around killing Gilberto Alcantra's men, butchering them, in fact. So I had a thought: Could this person be one of the other followers Khonshu aluded to? Whoever they are, they have no qualms about killing, and where Moon Knight was carving the crescent moon into people's foreheads, I assume to pay honor to Khonshu, this one is making an elaborate painting from the blood of their victims.

The hitch is my brief Internet research suggests the symbol is the Aztec* Sun God. So, that suggests that the fight that is sure to come is more Sun vs. Moon, rather than followers of Khonshu squaring off. Of course, given that we're dealing with different cultures, it would make sense he would take different forms, but why moon diety in one culture, and sun diety in the other?

* Actually, it may really be the Mexica Sun God, a culture I think preceeded the Aztecs, and laid the foundation for some of their beliefs. Or is it the other way around? Maybe the Mexicas were just some of the people dubbed Aztecs? I'm finding conflicting reports online.

It's The World They Live In That Does It

I mentioned in the reviews last week that I had some thoughts on Jefte Palo's art I wanted to pursue, so that's the focus for today.

Thing about it is, all the faces Palo draws look, "hardbitten" is the phrase that comes to mind. They're lined, or scratched, and most notable to me is that you almost never see a character's eyes. it's as though they were squinting very hard. Actually, in some cases I look at the faces and think that they have no eyes, that they've been burned out of the sockets. But I believe there's a point to that. This is a fairly dark story. The woman Jake Lockley rescued is the daughter of a Mexican drug lord. She was in prison for protection, because she planned to turn evidence against ther father, who is the one who hired Lockley to "rescue" her. The criminal (Gilberto Alcantra) planned to have Lockley killed after the rescue, then kill his own daughter to impress some Russians mobsters who are coming to open a partnership. So there's that, plus someone going around, butchering Alcantra's men for reasons unknown, and using their blood to leave what I'm guessing are Aztec symbols on the ground or walls. Plus, there's the Punisher, which means people are dying.

There's nothing pretty here, very little that's bright or shiny. Everything is dark, and the colors reflect that. The backgrounds are mostly blacks and blues, with perhaps some dull red sprinkled in*. Even when Lockley meets with Alcantra to discuss the job, in what Alcantra describes as 'God's country', on what is supposed to be a bright, sunshiny day, the colors are muted, as though we're viewing them through a dirty haze. Perhaps it makes a mockery of the idea of this being 'God's country', given the current state of things. The characters themselves look dour, frowning, at odds with what is supposed to be beautiful country.

The only times bright colors dominate the background is during moments of violence. In #26, the background goes from black to red in the moment where Lockley throws his first punch in the bareknuckle fight he's in. After that, narrow yellow lines are set against the black background (which returned swiftly after that punch) to show the movement of Lockley's attacks. In #27, the bright red returns as Lockley learns he's been double-crossed, with a gun pointed at the back of his head. It's the signal for more violence, but this time, as the violence begins, the backgrounds don't go back to black. There are yellows, blues, some dull oranges, which is curious since those occur when there are slightly brighter orange lines denoting bullets set on those same panels. Why use variations on the same color, instead of setting the bullet tracks against a darker, more different color?

I've yakked a lot about color, but there's a point. Most of the story through two issues has taken place in darkness, either at night, or in places that aren't well lit, such as lousy hotels, strip clubs, bars, places where bareknuckle fights happen. In a dark world, eyes can only do so much good. Look at things that live in caves all their lives, like the Grotto sculpin. If a species lives in darkness for enough generations, they gradually lose their eyes (or the eyes are present, but don't function), because they aren't serving any purpose anyway. In this world Lockley finds himself in, eyes don't do you any good, because you can't see anything anyway. One of the rare moments when can see Lockley's eyes, his pupils even, is in #26, when he's considering whether to take the job. Ostensibly, I think the panel is meant to show him thinking about it, and considering what I proposed, I think it shows that Jake was fooled. Compared to where the story started this outdoor location is bright, and Jake thinks he can see what's what, but he can't. This isn't about a rich man whose daughter was abducted by dishonest police to take revenge on him, but Jake's using his eyes in a place where you can't and so he reads the situation wrong.

There's another explanation for the lack of eyes I might as well mention. For the most part, Palo keeps the shot at a distance, even when it's a scene of two people talking, close-ups on the face are rare, and the panels that are narrowly focused on one character are usually small (the larger panels inevitably hang farther back, usually establishing location). I think it's meant to create a sense of distance between us and the characters. We are not part of their world, we are just observing, and so it's best we don't get too close. "Beware of Man" and all of that. These are dagnerous people, and they're used to the live they're in. We aren't, on either count, and if we were to venture any closer, we would be in their world of darkness, and then we'd be lost. That's how I've been reading it anyway.

* Using a pattern as if they were just letting paint drip off a brush onto the picture. Not certain as to the significance of that.

That's What Happens When You Invite Adam Warlock

This other cocoon that the Universal Church of Truth thought was Adam Warlock, we all know who that is, right? They're resting/regenerating/evolving in a cocoon just like Adam Warlock was. They aren't polite when people do things they don't like, and they represented by the color purple.

You know him, you love him, he's the evil Adam Warlock expelled from his soul, coalesced into a physical form, let's give a big round of applause to our returning threat to existence, the Magus! Come on folks, give him a big hand!

Seriously, applaud or he'll probably kill us.

Now my immediate reaction to this, was "This is why we don't need Adam Warlock around". See, Magus, to me, means Infinity War, and that's not really something I was real enamored of, seeing as it saddled Spider-Man with that stupid six-armed, mindless doppelganger for months, maybe years. Of course, assuming I'm right*, I don't believe that's what Lanning and Abnett have planned. I hope it isn't, as I don't think we need Infinity War 2: The Redoppelganging.

I should have confidence that they have something really cool planned. I don't know what that would be, though. Would he corrupt the Church? They haven't done anything other than attack the Guardians thus far, so that doesn't seem like it would have much dramatic impact. Magus strikes me as more of a conqueror than a "destroy existence" type, so I can't see him trying to stop the Guardians from fixing the rifts** in the fabric of the universe. Maybe he'll take advantage of the state of things after War of Kings. I'm guessing the Shi'ar will be reeling, and even if the Kree and Inhumans win, they're still trying to recover from the beatings they took from Annihilus and Ultron. Maybe Magus is what's going to help the Badoon become a bigger threat now, instead of 1000 years from now?

* And that's a big assumption, since I'm something like 5 for 700 on my predictions on this blog.

** Book has drifted away from that the last few months, hasn't it?

Nick Fury - Getting Dishonorable With Age?

I finally saw an episode of that Wolverine and the X-Men show on Friday night. It was OK, I guess. Nick Fury made Wolverine track down the Hulk and try and stop him, except it turned out the real problem was a pack of Wendigos that had been created by SHIELD that were run amok.

The thing that annoyed me was that Fury blackmailed Wolverine into taking the mission. Since mutants are having to stay low-profile in that universe, the shool has to stay hidden, and Fury basically threatened to leak the location of the school, and the identity of the mutants therein to certain bigoted, fear-mongering senators if Logan didn't take the job. And when Logan (and Dr. Banner) confronted Fury about making Wendigos and not telling them what they were up against, Fury trotted out the same "you're assets" line Carl Weathers was spouting in Predator. Sigh.

Fury is constantly a manipualtive jackass these days, never actually playing it fair with whomever he's dealing with. He always has to do things by preying on people's weaknesses, or calling in debts*, or making threats. Has Agent of SHIELD Nick Fury always been like this? I know he has been in the Ultimate Universe, but what about the Marvel Unvierse? I know he and Captain America didn't always see eye to eye, but did he pull this sort of junk on Cap back in the '60s?

I don't have any of those comics, though I've read a few Sgt. Fury and his Howling Commandos from that time period. In those, Fury accepts the orders he's given, whether he likes them or not, and does display a pragmatic attitude at times, such as in one issue where he refuses to try and go to Berlin and rescue the captured Gabe Jones, opting instead to focus on getting the remaining Howlers out of Germany**, much to the cosnternation of Reb Ralston.

So maybe Fury has always been willing to sacrifice people and ideals for the larger mission. Still, it seems like the sort of characterization that would come about as people have grown more cynical about these sorts of things. "The world is less black and white, so even the people who are supposed to be protecting us, fight dirty", that kind of thing. Where people who operate in the shadows, doing shadowy things, can not - or will not - do things honorably, even when dealing with people who do. Where Nick Fury sees Spider-Man's overdeveloped sense of responsibility/guilt complex, and just sees how easy it will be to get Parker to do what he wants***.

Maybe Fury just needs a good swat upside the head.

* And really, I wouldn't be surprised if Fury was responsible for the eprson being in the situation where the debt was incurred. I've read Fury say he frequently says he's saved Wolverine's life several times over, but how many of those times were the result of something Fury dumped him in?

** To be fair, it's generally a poor idea to travel deeper into Germany when pursued by the army. Unless, of course, you need to get a diary that contains information on traps barring your path to the Holy Grail. Then there's really no other choice, is there?

*** That was actually in some secret file thing that was part of the lead-in to Bendis' Secret War mini-series.

Perhaps They Had Other Business

I re-watched Predator Thursday night. I love that film so much. The explosions, Arnold's various lines/vocalizations*, Jesse Ventura pontificating upon the sexual enhancement that comes with chewing tobacco**, Mac threatening to bleed Dillon and leave him in the jungle if he gives away their position again, the action, the crude jokes, Billy's outstanding lunatic laugh***, all of it.

I think my favorite scene is immediately following Jesse Ventura's death, when Mac mows down a good chunk of the forest with the minigun, only to be joined by the rest of the squad, who help him in fighting the reforestation of the rain forest. Because there were bad guys to find, and trees make good hiding places, damn it!

Still, something came to mind while watching that scene. The whole reason they were in that section of jungle was because the heli couldn't come to the encampment they had destroyed. If you will recall, there were more guerillas all over the place, 1 or 2 klicks away, tops. Since the military couldn't be there****, the squad had to get someplace safe to be picked up. So off they go into the jungle. Well, what happened to those guerillas?

Figure they hear the fighting and return to the encampment. Wouldn't they try and hunt down the people who destroyed their base? How could they not catch up? It's not as though the squad was making great time. They stopped when Billy had a bad feeling, then their hostage escaped, then Hawkins was killed, then they spent time trying to find his body, then they wiped out a couple acres of forest, then they camped for the night, had their position given away when the pig triggered their traps, then the next morning they set that elaborate trap with the net, and the swinging logs, after that failed, Mac and Dillon chased the Predator, the rest tried to carry Ramirez and his broken ribs until he died, then Dutch took another night to have a big fight with the Predator, which was full of explosions, yelling, and various other position betraying noises.

So where were the guerillas? Did the Predator kill them, so they couldn't interfere? It was watching the big assault from the trees, so he could have waited for the guerillas, and wiped them out, but that would have taken time, if there were enough of them that if was prudent for Dutch and his squad to withdraw quickly. We know it'd gotten ahead of them by the time Billy had his bad feeling and the girl tried to escape. So did the guerillas just get scared? Maybe they saw what happened to their base, got angry, started to pursue, then heard the attackers laying waste to the forest ahead of them, remembered how effectively their base was wiped out, and decided discretion was the better part of valor?

* 'Get to the chopper!' being the famous one, along with 'If it bleeds, we can kill it', but I was always partial to the bestial yell he calls out the Predator with. He has some impressive lungs. My job requires me to spend a lot of time in the woods. I really ought to cut loose with one of those while my coworkers are around. However, I do let out a Ric Flair "Whooo!" upon completion of another work day.

** It probably just about offsets the damage to his testicles being done by the steroids he was probably taking. That's not fair of me, is it? I don't know that he was taking steroids. OK, if he was taking steroids, the tobacco probably only offset the testicular damage. If he wasn't taking steroids, then I guess it really was making him 'a goddamn sexual Tyrannosaurus'.

*** Since it was his laugh the Predator was aping when it triggered its self-destruct sequence. That is my favorite deranged laugh of all time.

**** Here's something else. During the big attack scene, Dutch tells Mac to get everything ready to go, 'No traces'. How the heck is he supposed to eliminate all traces of U.S. military presence? They must have wasted thousands of rounds of ammunition. And if that stuff isn't the traces, then what was Arnold talking about?

Snurf? Duzzle, Wha?

*Early morning. Calvin awakes to insistent pounding on his door. He rolls out of bed, Staggers to said door, and opens it* Calvin: {Yeah?} *A ball of fur smacks Calvin in the face.* Calvin: {Agh! Fuzzy face-hugger! The creatures from Alien have spawned with Care Bears! Run for your life!} *The ball of fur leaps from Calvin's face and lands next to the pile of comics. Calvin, still running around in a frenzy, slams into the door and falls to the ground.* Adorable Baby Panda: Comics!! Finally! *ABP hugs the comics.* Calvin: {*dazed* Don't say "Sorry for scaring you" or anything. Or "good morning", for that matter.} ABP: *Hopping around the room* Oh, good morning. You said to get here early. Calvin: {It's not even dawn yet!} ABP: Here, drink some of this. It's like fifteen cups of coffee at once! *Runs halfway up wall, pushes off, does triple backflip, lands on top of the dresser on the opposite side of the room.* Calvin: {Ah, no. Thanks though. Perhaps we'd better get to this before your heart explodes.}

ABP: Booster gets Applause for making fun of Chronos. Why would anyone steal clocks? It doesn't make any sense. Booster gets a Bonk for being so busy making fun of Chronos that he let the real bad guy beat him up and steal the knife, though. That was stupid. Why would he make fun of the bad guy? Just beat him up already! Calvin: {You might want to reread that paragraph before we commit to it.} No time! Until I find this man you're after, I have, no choice but to keep moving! {Man? What man? I'm not looking for anyone right now.} *ABP, trancelike* You will be, soon, all will rely on your finding the true possessor of the spirit of fire. {What?!}

*ABP, normally* What? Reed Richards gets a Bonk for building a prison in the Negative Zone, because that was really stupid. {Can you give Adam Warlock a swat for that stupid line about how there's a war coming, a War of Kings? That was terribly cheesy.} Sure! Bonk for Adam Warlock! The real one is probably in that coccoon anyway. {Pretty sure he's not.} Bet you're wrong! Whoever made a mess in Star-Lord's helmet gets a Bonk! Jack Flag gets a Hug because he can walk again! Now he can go back to Earth and beat up Bullseye! {Well, he's going by Hawkeye now. I would pay good money to see the Guardians of the Galaxy kick the hell out of Norman Osborn and his Dark Avengers for like, 50 pages, though.} How can Bullseye be Hawkeye now? {Because people in the Marvel Universe are stupid. I'm pretty sure we've covered this before.}

I'm giving that crime boss in Moon Knight a Bonk. He was going to kill his daughter to prove how tough he was, that's just terrible. {Well, the Punisher is in the area, so I'm sure he'll pay for that by the end of the story.} Moon Knight gets a Hug, since he got shot. Whoever helped him gets some applause, because that was nice of them. {Probably the Punisher.} Then Applause for the Punisher. I owe him some applause anyway, since I bet he did lots of stuff in his series that deserved it, that you wouldn't let me see. {I told you, when you're older.} How much odler? {Old enough you're mother won't get mad and eat me for letting you read Punisher MAX.} That could be years! {Sorry.} Phooey. I'm going to go hang out with Deadpool. He's not afraid of my mom, and he said I could play GTA 4 with him. {He's really looking to test his healing factor, isn't he?} Huh? {Nothing, nothing. Have a good time. Oh, wait a second. Could you give him this? *Hands ABP the weapon he took off UnCalvin*} Cool, what does it do? {No idea. That's what I'm hoping wade can figure out.} Sure, I'll give it to him. Bye! *ABP runs off in a cloud of dust* {I hope that stuff isn't addictive. I don't think this blog is ready for a Very Special Episode on the dangers of drug abuse.}

What I Bought 2/26/09

Yes, comics. I have them. Not all of the ones I was supposed to have. Naturally. The universe can't help but play "Treat Calvin Like a Complete Prat", when it gets the opportunity, but I've got something, so that will have to suffice for the time being. At least I'm on my weekend now. Sweet relaxation.

Booster Gold #17 - Does anyone else feel this is spinning out of control? At some point, Booster still has to go back to the original attempt to fix things (from Dixon's 2-parter) and recover an unconscious. . . hell. I've forgotten whether it was Rip or Booster that was knocked out and picked up and palced in a time sphere by another Booster. Or was it even Booster? Maybe it was Michelle? I know she observed it and commented on what was going on.

This issue finds Booster back where he fought Supernova the first time, to ensure Barry Allen becomes the Flash. Except now he's after a knife, and runs into a clock stealing Chronos, who he mocks, rather rudely. I guess when you've been the butt of as many jokes as Booster Gold, you take the opportunity to turn the tables whenever you can. Sure, stealing timepieces is kind of lame, but if that's all the criminal aspires to, why tease them? That's how you make "I'mma kill everyone! That'll show 'em!" villains, and who needs more of those?

Booster does not protect the knife from Glowy Energy Person, and gets arrested by Barry Allen, but still makes certain Barry gets hit by lightning. As for the backup story, it's a nice primer if you're new to the series, so I won't complain about that. Except I'm not really new to the series, so it doesn't do much for me, seeing as I'm not terribly interested in Blackest Night, or little blue people whose eyes bleed ink.

Guardians of the Galaxy #10 - Rocket Raccoon, I'm sure you know best, but it might be better to aim the gun at Blastaar's eye, rather than the brow of his crown. Just a thought. The team finds Star-Lord, and rescues him, Blastaar does not get to Earth (yet), and Adam Warlock is going to prove he's the real deal to this church by stopping the War of Kings. Except the church still has that other coccoon they thought would have Adam Warlock in it, so what's the deal there? I have a theory, not one I'm particularly found of, but we'll get to that another day.

This felt like a weak issue to me, though I can't quite pin down why. Either I needed more fighting against Blastaar's hordes (even though given his power, and the numbers he had supporting him, finding Quill and heading home was absolutely the smart thing to do), or more advancement on the Warlock front, or we needing to check back in on Drax and Quasar, after their deaths last issue. I get the impression Abnett and Lanning could only do so much, because going any farther would encroach on what they have planned for War of Kings proper. On the positive side, Brad Walker drew the whole issue, and I still enjoy his work, so that was a plus. One odd thing: Did Reed Richards seem a bit off-character in his speech in this issue? I think it was his quoting Star-Lord about "Whack-Jobs" and shrugging his shoulders at Star-Lord's proclamation of his group as the Guardians of the Galaxy. I don't see Reed shrugging his shoulders so much as doing the "thoughtful look". Where your thumb rests under your chin, and the index finger is udner the nose, usually accompanied by a "Hmm". It's probably nothing, but he seems different from last month's Nova, and since they're written by the same blokes, my suspicious sense is buzzing.

Moon Knight #27 - With this issue we learn why the girl was in prison, why her father is so desperate to get her out, and get a glimpse at two different threats Lockley may have to deal with. All told we have ruthless crimelords, a werid, shadowy figure with a large blade, luchadore tag-team hitmen, the Punisher, and oh yeah, Moon Knight himself.

This story seems full of people who can easily do terrible things to others, including our portagonist, though he may actually be the most restrained of the bunch. It's interesting to see how methodically he approaches the jailbreak, a skill I imagine carries over from his mercenary days. It contrasts with a Moon Knight who at times seemed to simply throw himself into situations without any real idea what he was up against, which suggests to me that certain skills are strictly tied to certain personalities, but I'm not certain of that. I amcurious whether the reason he gives the men he works with for why they can't kill any federales is the true reason he won't allow it, or if it's the reason he feels they will most readily accept.

As I was starting this review, I was preparing to make some comments about the lack of expression in Jefte Palo's faces (if you've been a reader here for awhile, you know ability to convey emotion is pretty high on my list of things pencilers must do). Then I took a bathroom break, and I had a thought, so I'm a bit higher on his work now, and I'm going to take more time to look it over, and it'll be a blog post here sometime soon.

The English Are So Comical When They're Being Criminal

One of the movies I received for Christmas was Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels. It had always sounded interesting, I simply hadn't ever gotten around to renting it.

So I asked for and received it, and I watched it, and. . . well, it was funny, but I didn't wind up enjoying it as much as I had expected. I came away from it feeling I'd watched Guy Ritchie's A Continuum of Remarkable Coinky-Dinks. Gee, these guys need money, and they just happen to know of a weed seller that has lots of cash, but they live right next door to thugs who also plan to rob said weed dealer, but our weed dealers just happen to choose that day to lock the gate that bars entry to their place, stymieing the professional criminals. Oh, and our heroes' firearms happen to be valuable shotguns that were supposed to be stolen for the fellow they need the money to pay off, except he didn't receive them due to a misunderstanding, and now he's looking for those, and expecting their money, and after awhile it all started to feel a bit ridiculous.

I didn't think it was a bad film, but the level of fortuitous happenstance exceeded my limits. Still, one of my co-workers had Snatch, so I thought, what the hell, give it a try. The first positive is that I didn't feel the level of fortuitous happenstance exceeded my limits. There were certain points that pushed it*, but if the level of coincidence was equal to the earlier film, it was in a way that wasn't as obtrusive to me. Still, there is a remarkable level of inter-connection between characters that have barely met before this particular story begins. Maybe this says something about dishonest people, and how if you're constantly trying to pull fast ones on people, you can't be surprised when others do the same to you, and that the more people that get dragged into something, the more likely they are to cross paths, or double-cross paths. That's a little pun. Nearly microscopic, in fact. I don't think that's what Ritchie is driving at**, but it's something I take from it. Nobody has true loyalty to anyone else, except perhaps for Tommy and Turkish. Everyone uses everyone else, tries to kill everyone else, steal from each other, rip each other off, an endless stream of dishonorable deals. The two that are the worst at this, unsurprisingly, are Tommy and Turkish, as they seem to consistently be taken advantage of by all the others they interact with. Whether that's a sign they have stronger moral fiber, or that they just aren't as clever, or simply a sign of how little power they have in all this, that they keep having to get involved in situations that put them at a disadvantage, I'm not sure. I'd lean towards the second one myself.

I was reading a review that said the reviewer's problem with the film was Ritchie doesn't provide us with a reason to care about any of the characters. I don't know that I agree with that. I was at least a little concerned for Mickey, Tommy, and Turkish. Would Mickey throw the fight like he was supposed to, and would he get Brick Top for what he did? The odd thing is I wasn't feeling worried during the big bareknuckle fight scene and its aftermath, so I'm really inferring the concern, because during the extended sequence between the Vin/Sol duo and the Avi/Tony pair, I kept thinking to myself that they'd gone away from Turkish and Mickey's story for too long. I guess that's concern, though maybe just concern for the larger narrative. So perhaps the reviewer was correct after all.

I really do like Mickey (Brad Pitt). Actually, I usually like Brad Pitt when he plays less cleancut fellow. I guess he plays a dirty, goofy fellow well, though he's actually very clever here as well. Certainly not a fellow to be trifled with, or underestimated. I rather like the ending as well. I can't decide whether it promises happy days for our main characters, or the beginning of more hi-jinks and double crosses. On the whole, I'd say I liked Snatch more than Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels. Maybe it's all the bareknuckle fighting that puts it over the top. Man, that looked painful.

* The primary example being when Bullet Tooth Tony and Avi are driving with Boris the Blade in their trunk, only to crash because Tommy throws Turkish's carton of milk out the window and obscures their windshield, this as Tommy and Turkish drive to Boris' house to purchase a functional gun. The crash allows Boris to get out of the trunk, and as he staggers blindly in the street, because he has a bag over his head, gets hit by the car driven by Tyrone, Vinny, and Sol, who were looking for Boris to retrieve the diamond that Tony and Avi have taken from him already. That was pushing it.

** If he has a larger point at all. I'm not certain he wasn't just having fun with a story that allows him to use a cast of oddball characters.