Wasn't it wonderful to find out that the reason Dr. Light was such a loser is because he was mindwiped for raping Sue Dibny? As grateful as I'm sure we all are to Mr. Meltzer, I'm not sure I can wait 20 years for him to tell us the real reason behind Max Lord's mind controlling of Superman. So I'm asking you to tell me. Obviously by then, rape will be passe, and the writers will have moved on to a new cliche, but what?
Here's my theory:
Sometime shortly after Big S' return from the grave, Max Lord approached him with a favor. See, he had a cousin with terrible eyesight, who lacked the funds for corrective laser surgery. Now Max was too cheap to give him the money, but he figured Superman would be willing to use his heat vision to do the job for free.
Except Superman said "No".
Oh sure he had his reasons: "It's too dangerous. My heat vision doesn't work that way. It won't be covered by his HMO. Jeez, I just came back from the dead, give me some time to settle in." But it all boiled down to the same thing; Sorry Max, I've got better stuff to do.
And it was then, that Max Lord began to devise his revenge. . .
So, what are your thoughts?
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4 comments:
Honestly, Max is and always has been a conniving businessman first. He knows his assets. Superman is very strong and invulnerable to almost anything but kryptonite and magic/mind control. He's the logical choice.
Just as Ted was the obvious choice to either recruit or eliminate in Countdown. (A man of a 192 IQ, as well as an Olympic level gymnast and martial artist, who's designed a great many of the inventions the heroes use, and was never particularly incompetent for all his occasional goofiness, heck Max saw that personally when Beetle was brainwashed by the Bialyans and took him out and put up a good fight against *Batman*...and less likely than Batman to overlook small oversights...you pretty much have to neutralize him somehow. :-))
Max always was a clever, clever guy. I'll miss him. :-) (Though Diana was so right in the snappage) :-)
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Oh all right, fine, it's because Superman never signed an endorsement deal. :-P
Really? I admit, I had no clue the Beetle was that gifted.
Of course, now the question is, what WOULD Superman endorse? Those lead bibs they put over you when they take x-rays?
I'm sure there's something he would hawk, with all proceeds going to orphaned children naturally.
Yep! Ted's often overlooked, but he's as self-made as Batman, took on a legacy of a magically enhanced hero with nothing but his own natural abilities. And he built all his cool stuff and trained himself up. He's just goofy and self-deprecating too. And now he's shot in the head...
Maybe little miniature fortress of solitude ornaments. Like Eiffel Tower ones.
I'd buy one.
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