What I Bought 2/22/06

It's a little later than normal, but it's been a bit of a hectic day. So here we go, four books, spoiler warnings, yadda, yadda, etc.

Wolverine #39 - And so we reach part 4 of 5 in this story. I got to admit I was stunned by the realization, mostly because I haven't felt like much was happening. And for the second month in a row, I finished reading the book with a sense that it hadn't been finished. Like there were supposed to be more pages this month. I don't know why that would be, the issue ended in a perfectly logical place. Maybe it's because there hasn't been much dialogue, I guess I've grown used to Bendisian yak-fests.

Anyway, Wolverine is hunting for Bucky. I refuse to call him Winter Soldier. I swear that is the stupidest name ever. This has lead him to Bucky's current stomping grounds, which is apparently the nation formerly known as Yugoslavia. Hmm, when dealing with a character with the repuation Bucky has apparently gained (in his universe, not ours) over the last fifty years or so, I would think it would be a mistake to go after the guy on his turf. But the only other option is to draw him to yours, and I doubt Logan could devise a way to do that, so here they are in Belgrade.

The fight between the two is actually kind of sporadic. It starts and stops for various reasons. But there is a sense of brutality in the fight. This isn't too much about flashy moves and ninja tricks. Nope, nobody here is using salad bowls to cross moats, although we do learn that covering yourself in ink is an easy way to hide from enemies, with no short-term health ramifications. Where was I? Oh yeah, the fight. So it's kind of an ugly fight, mostly cheap shots. And at the end, we find out why Logan is so eager to get after Bucky. And it isn't because Buck helped him escape from Department K. I would say I'd be looking forward to next month, if I thought there was any chance Editorial would let James Howlett knock off Cap's "little buddy". Still, I'm hopeful there'll be some sort resolution that evryone can be happy with. Maybe Howlett could castrate Bucky. Not a bad issue, so 3.5 out of 5.

Ultimate Spider-Man #90 - Things I learned in this issue: It's hard to leave S.H.I.E.L.D. (without dying). Silver Sable doesn't like it when you kill her soldiers. If you fire a person, they may put a former espionage agent in a high tech suit and send him to kill you. Nick Fury likes to watch people have bad days. Nick Fury is planning to make Peter's life harder in the near future. Nick Fury is a manipulative asshole. OK, I knew that already. I did learn that Peter really needs to kill everyone in the Ultimate Universe. Seriously, beat Gah' Lak' Tus to it. When even Cyclops is laughing at a crappy made-for-TV movie that involves you, it's time to start breaking some necks.

But that's just silly. Peter wouldn't do that. Even though he probably wishes he was back to just being hated and accused of being a multi-armed freak, as opposed to being laughed at. I did enjoy this issue. I may not have indicated that up to this point, but the fight between Peter and Ultimate Vulture was well done. I really like that Vulture suit. I know it isn't original (the Vulture had one like it in Amazing Spider-Man back in the '90s), but damn, I love those feather-blades! Freaking awesome! What can I say, I'm very visually oriented. It seems like quite a lot happened. The Silver Sable thing got resolved, as I believe she'll want to stay far away from Spider-Man and the crap that surrounds his life. We know who was gunning for "Idiot Who Runs Roxxon", we know Nick Fury's got stuff planned. And we know Nick Fury can do entirely too much stuff. Where's the checks and balances people? Stop the reckless theft and appropriation of high tech gizmos by one-eyed men! 5 out of 5.

Exiles #77 - Man, the Squadron Supreme are everywhere these days. You've got Supreme Power, which is just Ultimate Squadron Supreme, and a few of them have been popping up in New Thunderbolts. And now this. I'm not sure whether this is a good thing or not.

The good thing here is that with a new team member (Miguel O'Hara, aka Spider-Man of 2099), they have to explain things to him, which helps newbie reader (i.e, me) catch up. I find out why exactly the Exiles had been jumping around from reality to reality (fixing damage done by the weird bug guys in the Crystal Palace), and that chasing Proteus around isn't part of that, and that the Exiles have screwed things up in the last two universes they visited.

Anyway, Proteus helps the Squadron out of a jam, and uses Mimic's memories to convince the Squadron he's on their side, and the Exiles are dangerous loose cannons. Which is true to an extent. They run around, altering realities, and from the view of the people in those universes, it may not be for the better. Right about then, the Exiles catch up, and we get the misunderstanding brawl, as Proteus bails to another reality. Hmm, the Squadron is essentially the JLA (a good version, not the crap they trotted out there the last few issues). The Exiles biggest gun is, Sabretooth? Longshot? Yeah, that'll end well for the title characters.

So, they're in deep stuff. I mean Proteus would be hard to stop on most any day. But now he has the Hulk 2099 body (supposedly more powerful than current Hulk), so he doesn't even need to use his powers. I am very happy with this book so far. There was talking, fighting, potentially some set-up for long standing problems, and this book still has a letter column! Hell yes! 5 out of 5.

Amazing Spider-Man #529 - I'm a little concerned about where that stinger thing between his legs is coming from. OK, cheap joke over. So Peter goes out to fight some crime, that's nice. And Tony Stark is still a voyeur, I mean an eagle statue with communication devices in the Parker's bedroom? Freak. They should have had him putting the moves on MJ, not Logan. Tony explains why there was no evidence of Mary Jane's arm having been broken by Morlun in any of the later issues of "The Other". I wonder whether that was actually planned, or if the artist for Marvel Knights Spider-Man screwed up, and they just decided "Screw it. For the rest of this her arm looks normal. When it's over, JMS will have Stark give some goofy-ass answer as to why." Peter does a nice job of saving a hostage, and the cops take advantage of the situation to scare the crap out of the criminals. At the end, Tony (and his gigantic forehead) offers to make Peter his protege. This has bad idea written all over it. I don't mean for the writers, I mean for Peter. Tony is telling Peter, "I can't tell you what it is I need you for, until you take a blood oath to not tell anyone else about what it is that I'm going to use you for. That includes Captain America." There's no possible way that can be a good thing. Peter should just say no thanks, and if Tony is angered by this, then give back the costume, so you don't feel you owe him anything.

Oh yes, the costume. I haven't really discussed it in this review. Here's my take: It's hideous. Spider-Man does not need a suit with all sorts of goofy crap in it. He is not a normal human like Tony Stark. He has spider-powers, powers which have enabled him to beat almost every villain in the Marvel Universe at some time or the other. All Peter needs is his web-shooters (I still don't see how he can use organic web-shooters if he has gigantic stingers popping out of the same location), and a costume that doesn't interfere with his powers. reed Richards could make that in like three minutes, and it would probably look much better. Fortunately, Peter is going to come to his senses in the next few months and dump this thing, so I'm prepared to accept it as just another mistake Peter makes, like that time he teamed up with the Fabulous Frog-Man. And now I will speak of it no more. 3 out of 5.