Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Study For The Feasability Of Movie Goofiness

Thanks to Ultimate Spider-Man #98, we know that Ultimate Reed Richards spends his free time turning urine into drinkable water, because Costner did it in Waterworld. While gross, it's better than what Marvel Reed has been up to, what with the building of prisons to hold his former friends and allies. So with that in mind, I want us to encourage Ultimate Reed, because it'll keep him from giving Nick Fury anymore superweapons, like his throwing a Big Bang at Ultimate Gah'Lak'Tus.

So what movie ideas should Reed try and make feasibile?

Movie: Close Encounters of The Third Kind
Project: Devise color and music themed extraterrestrial communication device.
Reasoning: Because I'm tired of them always being able to communicate flawlessly with the alien races we interact with. I want an alien race to stumble across us and not be prepared to communicate in English, so we have to go to Plan B.

Movie: Field of Dreams
Project: Create a baseball field that harnesses the life-giving power of CORN to resurrect and/or de-age baseball players.
Reasoning: Because I'd like to see Ty Cobb come back and take a few dozen fastballs in the chin, that's why. Roger Clemens can do it, and I'll never disparage him again.

Movie: Little Man
Project: Determine how this movie has made more than $50 million so far in the box office.
Reasoning: Because it doesn't make any sense, that's why!

*slams head on table repeatedly*

OK, well I feel kind of drowsy - or maybe it's a concussion - so I'm gonna go lie down. You just leave your proposals in the comments box, and I'll make sure Ultimate Reed gets them.

1 comment:

Jake said...

"From the makers of White Chicks" is worth at least $30 million.