At Last. . . The Ten Characters!

So Diamondrock tagged me for this about five days ago, but this is one of those things I need lots of time to ponder, but I'm ready now. So let us begin! Now, what's first?

First, select your ten fictional characters (from any medium) by whichever method you like best. Then answer the questions below.

Okey-doke.
1. Spider-Man (various Spider-Man comics)
2. Ryoko (Tenchi Muyo)
3. Vic Mackey (The Shield)
4. Nicholas D. Wolfwood (Trigun)
5. Jade (Beyond Good and Evil)
6. Faith Lehane (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
7. John Gaunt (GrimJack)
8. Garrett (Thief: Deadly Shadows)
9. Sanosuke Sagara (Rurouni Kenshin)
10. Vash the Stampede (Trigun)

1. Divide the list up by even and odd. Which group would make a better Five Man Band (like a Power Rangers team)? Who would you slot in each position: Leader, lancer (2nd-in-command), Big Guy, Smart Guy, Chick? If you think the teams would be improved by swapping on member, which ones would you switch?

Hey, I just realized there's a spider running around in my keyboard. What the hell? Anyway,

Odds: Spidey, Vic, Jade, Gaunt, Sanosuke
Evens: Ryoko, Wolfwood, Faith, Garrett, Vash

Odds:
Leader - Vic Mackey
Lancer - John Gaunt
Big Guy - Sanosuke Sagara
Smart Guy - Spider-Man (remember, Peter Parker was smart, once upon a time)
Chick - Jade

Jade could be a "Smart Girl" in her own right, or clever at least, and I'm not sure how much any of these folks would follow any of the others' orders, but Vic seems to have the most experience actually commanding.

Even:
Leader - Vash
Lancer - Wolfwood
Big Guy - Ryoko
Smart Guy - Garrett
Chick - Faith Lehane

Well, Vash isn't really a Leader, but clearly I'm not a big fan of Leader-types (too bossy). Vash does have that gentle side that seems to convince people to follow him. Faith as the Chick is kind of a disservice, but maybe it means people will underestimate her.

2. Gender swap 2, 8, & 10. Which character would have the most change in their story arc? Which the least? Would any of these characters have to have a complete personality change to be believable as the opposite sex?

Ryoko, Garrett, Vash. Well, a good chunk of Ryoko's story is about her trying to woo Tenchi, what changes it's had on her, and how she tries to come to grips with her past. Ryoko as a guy, I think they might have make her a little less forward, or else her intense persuit of Tenchi could get disturbing. Vash displays a lot of what I guess are considered "feminine" qualities, with his compassion and kindness, so I'm not sure Vash would be any different, other than people probably having an even harder time believing this goof is the Humanoid Typhoon? So Ryoko the most, Vash the least, Ryoko's probably needs to be toned down a bit.

3. Compare the matchups of 1 & 8 and 5& 9. (Ignore canon sexual preferences for the moment). Which couple would be more compatible? Which couple would be more plausible to people from either's home culture?

Spider-Man & Garrett
Jade & Vash

I can't see that first one working. Maybe it's different in his first two games, but in Deadly Shadows, Garrett didn't show any indication of needing human companionship, and Peter is a little needy. He needs someone he can share his troubles with. I can see him trying that with Garrett, only to turn and see the thief has slipped out the window. As for Jade and Vash, if Jade can see past Vash's "idiot lecher" routine (or Vash drops the said routine), it might work. Jade takes care of orphans, and Vash is good with kids. Jade is working to expose corruption in the ruling powers of her world, and trying to do it with pictures rather than violence. Vash is always trying to help others without anyone getting hurt. At the very least it would be a good working partnership.

I'm guessing Garrett's culture. He's in a somewhat medieval setting, so a public guy/guy relationship might cause some difficulties. Or maybe not. Of course, he is from New York, and things are different in the city. I don't see Vash/Jade raising any flags.

4. Your team is 3, 4, & 9. The mission consists of a social, physical, and mental challenge. Which team member do you assign to each challenge?

Vic Mackey, Wolfwood, and Sanosuke. Hmm, and here my tendency to select similar characters bites me in the rear. OK, physical is definitely Sano, since his typical response is to find the person behind a problem and punch them repeatedly. Vic's clever, and knows how to sue whatever resources he's got, so I'll give him the mental challenge. Plus, I've seen Wolfwood play chess. he's bad at it, ergo, no mental challenge). Wolfwood does have an easygoing manner, and an ability to sweet talk people, so he ought to be able to handle the social challenge. And if all else fails, he'll just shoot a bunch of people.

5. 7 becomes 1's boss for a week in some plausible fashion. How's the working relationship?

Spider-Man working for GrimJack? Well, Spidey did work for Silver Sable on occasion. Of course, those partnerships rarely worked out well, since Spidey's "no dying" credo rarely worked well with Sable, so there'll be friction. Spidey's going to threaten to quit several times, Gaunt's going to say he doesn't care, more money for him, and Spidey will wind up helping anyway because he wants to keep the body count down. Not a positve working experience.

6. 2 finds themselves inserted into 6's continuity. As far as anyone other than 2 or 6 is concerned, it's always been this way. What role would 2 be presumed to have had in 6's story, and could they fit together without going wonky?

Ryoko in the Buffyverse? At what point? Before she met Tenchi? After? Because if it's after, Ryoko probably causes a lot of damage trying to get back home. If, it's before. . .

Well, she's overpowered, but hey, Buffy always gets demonic-powered allies, why can't Faith have a friend/ally with superhuman capabilities? So let's say Ryoko crash lands somewhere near Boston, and Faith befriends her, 'cause they're both lacking in friends, and when Faith becomes a Slayer, Ryoko is her partner. Of course, it raises the question of how Faith's first Watcher could have died when there would have been someone with enough power to lay waste to entire civilizations around to protect her. So maybe Faith is told to kill Ryoko by the Watcher's Council, and they wind up as enemies instead. I suppose that works better, though I can't say I like it as much.

I don't think aliens are gonna blow Faith's mind, and likewise vampires aren't going to faze Ryoko, so I don't think either one would have trouble adjusting.

7. 3 and 5 get three wishes. The catch is that they have to agree on all three wishes before they get the benefits of any of them. What three wishes would they make?

Vic and Jade? Bloody hell. Wish number one, Vic wishes for his kids to be cured of autism. Jade likes kids, she agrees. Wish number two, Jade probably wishes for the parents of the kids she looks after to be returned, I think Vic would be nice enough to accommodate her. Third wish? Well, I don't think jade would go along with Vic' desire for money, but if Jade could get her parents back, and Vic could get Lem back, I think they might go for that. I might be giving Vic too much credit, but Jade is gonna let him have any "greedy, evil Vic" wishes, so he's going to have to play nice.

8. 1 and 2 are brainwashed by a one-time artifact that works even on people immune to mind control to attack and kill 4. They keep their normal personality, skills, and competence level, except any code vs. Killing has been turned off. Can 4 survive? How?

Spider-Man and Ryoko are after Wolfwood. I like Nicholas D., but he's toast. They're faster and stronger than he is. Spider-Man can dodge how ever many bullets Wolfwood fires his way, and I don't Wolfwood has anything in his arsenal that could harm Ryoko, who was wrecking entire planets the last time she was mind-controlled. If Wolfwood lasts more than five minutes I'd be stunned. Sorry, Nicholas.

9. 6, 7, 9, & 10 must help an orphanage of small and depressed children have a merry Christmas. Who does what, knowing the kids will at the very least expect a visit from Santa?

Faith, John Gaunt, Sanosuke and Vash? Gaunt is really the only one I can't see getting into this, but I'm sure Vash will be busy hanging up lights, and I could see Faith decorating a tree. Would they have even celebrated Christmas in 19th century Japan, because I'm not sure Sano would know what was up. But he'd help, go out and get a bunch of food and drinks for the kiddies (but probably tell the stores Vash was paying for it). Vash is gonna be Santa, because he's the only one I can see doing "jolly", but he's big, and won't have problems going down a chimney, so the kiddies should enjoy that. Gaunt will help by staying in the shadows, where his dour mood doesn't ruin things.

10. 3 and 8 are challenged to circumnavigate the Earth in eighty days or less, using only forms of transportation invented before 1900. Can they do it, or will they be fatally distracted by sidequests of their own personality conflicts?

Vic Mackey and Garrett. A morally ambiguous cop, and a thief that periodically saves the city he lives in. For starters, you have to give them a good reason (read: lots of cash) to do this, or they aren't going to even leave the city. If you can do that, then yes, they'll make it. If they can start in L.A., then Vic has contacts that can get them a boat, and after that either he can threaten people into giving them a lift, or Garrett will just steal a ride for them. The question is whether Vic will object to Garrett doing a little thieving on the side as they go, because that could bring the whole thing to a halt. So I'd say 50-50 that they get it done, with personality issues being the potential stumbling block.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a keyboard-spider to kill.