Thursday, July 20, 2006

Stupid Nerds

So what's with this strain of anti-intellectualism currently being demonstrated at Marvel? And yes, I know that opens the door for an ungodly number of cracks about Quesada's mental capabilities, so feel free. But what I mean is, why are all the "smart" people on the bad guy side?

What's that Marvel? You say there isn't a good or bad side in Civil War? Well let's see. On one side, we have Captain America and his "Secret Avengers", who spend their time trying to capture actual super-villains. On the other side, we have Iron Man and his crew, who spend all their time a) trying to capture Captain America, b) building a prison to hold Cap and his allies, and c) working with Baron Freaking Zemo! When you work with the evil grandson (it is the grandson and not the original, right?) of a Nazi war criminal, you are not the good guys, verstehen sie?

And that's OK Marvel, I don't mind booing Tony Stark. Or even Parker, really. he's being such an idiot that he deserves it. But as that guy in The Outlaw Josey Wales said, 'Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining.' There are good guys and bad guys, and all the bookish people are bad guys, or abstaining. Don't believe me? Let's check the names:

Tony Stark, Reed Richards, Hank Pym, Peter Parker (all science nerds): Pro-registration. Doc Samson (must have some psychiatry or psychology degree): Pro-registration. Jennifer Walters (law degree): Pro-registration. How much you want to bet the "D. Blake" that picked up Mjolnir is a doctor (and probably one from Stamford, Connecticut)? Either way, right now, Thor: Pro-registration (I know Randy thinks it's a robot, but until I see evidence of that, it's Thor). Isn't Radioactive Man a doctor as well? He's Pro.

Dr. Strange is Anti, but he's off fasting because Millar is too damn lazy to find someone who could write Dr. Strange well, and ask for advice on how to use him in a fight. Dr. Walter Langkowski (Sasquatch) is in Canada, so he's exempt, and besides, he's probably still recuperating from the one panel annihilation Bendis gave Alpha Flight. Dr. Morbius? Who knows? Dr. Banner's off in space. Dr. McCoy is already registered, and apparently isn't going to fight registration, but he isn't going to help Iron Man either. He is going to help Cyclops round up renegade mutants before the government does, so I'm counting that as Pro. Whether it's government sanctioned or not, he's still helping to throw mutants into camps, so Beast=bad guy. Dr. Doom is in Latveria, laughing his ass off (albeit in a restrained, dignified manner, holding a sifter of brandy) at the heroes beating each other up. It's only a matter of time until SHIELD grants evil scientific geniuses Norman Osborn and Otto Octavius a full pardon in exchange for working for SHIELD. Boy, I bet Parker will love that. I'm sure Madrox has gotten a doctorate at some point, and he's registered, even if he's going to defend those who don't register. Any way you slice it, none of the above are giving Captain America a hand. Well, I guess Cable is smart, but I'm not sure it's smart so much as he can just get ahold of any information he needs, instantaneously.

What this reminds me of is that Simpsons episode where Lisa and the other Mensa members (Comic Book Guy, Dr. Hibbert, etc.) end up running the town, because they're the smartest. And it goes great. . . for a while. Then they let their petty personal desires and beliefs start clouding their judgement and they ruin it all. Stark and Reed might have meant well by trying to get the public to trust heroes again, but when you start hunting down the Sentinel of Liberty, well you've gone astray. Personally, I think Reed just really wants an excuse to start building a super-cool prison. Doofus.

Personally, I think the whole "trust" issue is a load of crap. Like Daredevil said in Cable/Deadpool #30, whether you know who's in the Iron Man armor or not, doesn't reduce the chances of a Shi'ar battle cruiser landing on your house. And does knowing Spider-Man is just some guy in his mid-20s who got the powers by a fluke (no, it wasn't the Supreme Will of the Great Spider-God, I don't care what JMS says!), and couldn't even protect his girlfriend from his enemies, really boost your confidence when he shows up to fight the Lizard? I'd be thinking "Cripes, this guy's a complete loser, where's a good hero?"

But seriously, why are all the brainiacs on the pro-registration side? Is it because people have an instinctive distrust of those smarter than us, because we're worried they'll try to slip something by us, so it's easy to dislike them? Is it a case of the readers not thinking long-term (as if that matters in the Marvel Universe, where continuity is an inconvienence), and recognizing how the universe has been set up, whereas the characters do?

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think Millar is satirizing the increasingly shrill anti-intellectualism that passes for debate in this country. Or about as well as he can satirize anything.

Anonymous said...

Otto octavius has already got a full pardon for joining with the registration side,
and is now getting trained in teamwork and combat tactics by the Thunderbolts.
he isn't doing scientific help at the moment but that's just a step away once he becomes a Thunderbolt, just ask dr. Chen Lu.

Anonymous said...

Actually Zemo is working with Cap to.

And all the villians being rounded up in Thunderbolts are pretty much a non factor. Zemo is training them and prepairing them to fight the Grandmaster after Civil War is over.

So for the record Zemo is:

Playing Tony Stark and the US Government.

Probably playing Cap to.

Using the struggles to round up his own army.

Probably playing members of the Thunderbolts (It works bothways in that case though)

I love Zemo. Read Thunderbolts.

Chris said...

Well, there's another post down the drain. I was going to pose the same question, but ya beat me to it.

Well done.

I just assumed it was Millar's distrust of People With Fancy Book Learnin' And Rich Folk What Aim To Control The Common Man.

(sigh)

CalvinPitt said...

dan: hmm, saitre is a possiblity. Of course, as you allude to, it's one of those things that depends on the writer's ability to convey that it's satire.

anonymous: I'm guessing that's happened in Thunderbolts?

mallet: So, does this mean Zemo is the smartest man in the Marvel Universe right now?

chris: Whoops, sorry.

Anonymous said...

Zemo's playing both sides because he needs an army to fight the Grandmaster, who's planning something for Earth.

Anonymous said...

Right now?

Yes Zemo is the one with the most control and most power behind him on earth. In space you have the cosmic level threats that could challenge him but they're engaged...

On earth, given his stolen powers he could probably destroy even the sentry. That and he now has an actual army of super villians. Sure most of them are lame but he also has the Fixer and Atlas and others who can build and destroy shit.

Anonymous said...

i felt the smart ones are on the pro side due to them not thinking with thier hearts...on paper the act seems sound.it makes sence.its not till you start thinking with your heart that you see how wrong it is to force heroes to be goverment santctioned.so reed would see the logic behind it..hed see it makes sence..where as sue sees the ramifications on a personal level..she would see more into it, how it would affect the lives of everyone..shed be sensitive to the needs of anti-registration side so to speak.also i think alot of the science types look up to both reed an tony..both are leaders in thier fields...so if they are doing it i could see others like pym and samson playing along. i like tho how you point things out i didnt notice..how tony is wasting time hunting down heroes when villians are out there..i mean did tony forgtet why the new avengers formed? (hey tony around 47 villians busted out of a prison why not go after those guys.) i didnt notice that till i read one of your post.


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