Friday, November 30, 2007

But Pandas Can't Predict The Future

Nope, we sure can't. {I'm surprised you would admit that.} I knew you'd say that. {But I thought you said you couldn't - aw, you're messing with me aren't you?} Yes. Now tell me more about how you can only put money in the Salvation Army bucket when the person with the bell isn't around. {Later. We aren't here to talk about my neuroses, unless this whole world is a product of my imagination, in which case my comic purchases are a symptom of them. Barring that unlikely scenario, just talk about comics.}

You're no fun. And neither is Acting SHIELD Director Danvers, so Bonk for her. Using drug-addled Harry Osborn to draw out Norman is just sleazy. {Of course, it's largely Norman's fault Harry's in the state he is.} That's true; Bonk for Norman! I hope Peter burns that bed sheet, too. {Hear, hear.} I'm going to Bonk Dr. Strange, too. {Because he didn't tell Wade what the point of all the dimension-hopping was?} That's part of it. But he seemed really OK with Deadpool killing all those creatures he ran into in the different dimensions. {Greater good kinda thing.} You're the one who told me that anytime someone says "greater good", they're really talking about "personal gain". {Actually, I stole that from GrimJack, and you would have to ask yourself what did Strange personally gain from it?} Um, a consolidation of his power base? If the dimensions destabilize then Strange doesn't get to, um, something. {Riiiight. Better just move on.}

Grrr, fine. I'm going to Applaud Kitty for being really cool and saving Peter's life, and being able to get past how hurt she was over how he broke up with her. {And now she's going to date Kong! Yeah! Big, goofy sidekicks represent!} I can't decide whether to Applaud Deadpool for saving existence, or Hug him for having to help T-Ray, so that T-Ray can just attack him again down the line. {Why not do both?} Well sure, if you want to take the easy way out. Thinking about it, I kind of think I should hug Carol Danvers. She's just having an awful time of it as Acting Director. {Well, she's not helping herself any by being stupid.} That's mean. {So was trotting Harry out there as bait.}
You're right. To heck with her then. Now give me some pie! {Pie? What pie?} I know you have pie in your fridge, stop hogging it! {Hey, if you're going to accuse me of hoarding food, could you at least tell me to stop Bogarting it?} No! Give me pie! {Fine! Here's your pie, you loud little so-and-so!} SPLAT! Hey! WHy you! {Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo, nyuk nyuk!}

3 comments:

SallyP said...

Oh definitely a bonk for Ultimate Carol Danvers. Man, she is just dumb as mud.

A hug for Kitty, definitely. And apparently Kong is going to be getting hugs too, which is nice, as I rather like Kong.

A HUGE bonk to Superbrat Prime. Boy, is HE annoying!

And a bonk to Jimmy Olsen, not because he really deserves it, but because he's also been annoying.

Bonk to Tony Stark! Woohoo!

CalvinPitt said...

sallyp: Jimmy's being annoying? Is this part of DC's plan so that we think it's a good thing that Olsen must die? Come to think of it, are they actually making any progress on that story?

And I am currently in talks with the pandas to have them deal with S-Prime. Since it's become obvious no one in the DC universe can stop him, I think it's time for some outside contractors. If it works, he'll get a lot more than a Bonk.

SallyP said...

If you have been reading Countdown, for some obscure reason, Jimmy is on Apokalypse, and is the subject of personal interest by Darkseid himself. I'm not sure why. I dont' really CARE why.

But it would certainly be a boon to the universe if the Pandas could "deal" with Superbrat Prime.