Thursday, January 07, 2010

All Business Today, Apparently

I'm Applauding Moondragon for saving Cynosure, and Hugging her because it was hard on her. {Wait, aren't you going to say hello? Tell me how much you missed me?} I thought you liked to get to it? Cynosure gets a Bonk for being a jerk, and Drax gets a Hug. {Wait, why?} That Boss Lady hurt him. {She hurt him with the memory of all the people he'd hurt and killed, so he did it to himself. You wouldn't hug some criminal Ghost Rider gave the old Penance Stare, would you?} No? {There you go.}

Is it OK to give BlacJacMac a Hug? {Sure. He was possessed by an Elder Being, had his place nearly burned down around his ears, and his girlfriend is probably going to be ticked at him about all of it.} Bob the Gatorlizard saved the day, so Hug for him, and GrimJack's going to let Bob stay at Munden's Bar, so Hug for him too! I want to give Amanda Waller a Bonk. She ought to leave Deadshot alone. Why are you shaking your head? {I wouldn't go near enough to Amanda Waller to do anything. You might wind up with an explosive chip in your head.} She wouldn't do that to me. It would mean war with the Pandas! {Kid, she's Amanda Waller. The Wall. That means she doesn't give a damn.} Then she needs to learn a lesson. {If you say so. Give Deadshot a Bonk while you're at it.} Huh? {Because he didn't make sure Rick Flag was dead. He could have at least shot him in the face! Then we'd be rid of Rick Flag again!} But John Ostrander just brought him back a year ago. {Hey, we all make mistakes. Besides, the purpose of some characters is to die for our amusement. Like Quasar.} That's cold.

{Anything else?} Marvel Boy stopped an angry scientist with a weather machine, and saved a bunch of window washers. {So, applause?} No, a bonk. Of course Applause! {Your grasp of sarcasm is improving.} Soon I'll be better than you! {Oh, trying to put me out of a job, eh? Get out you downsizer!} No, it's cold and snowy outside! {Oh come on, the wind chill is still in the positive numbers.} Then why don't you go outside. {Are you nuts? It's windy outside. Nothing good happens when it's windy.} You can fly kites when it's windy. {Or you could just buy a huge fan and fly kites whenever you want.} That's silly.

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