Wednesday, June 23, 2021

In the Running for Dumbest Thing I've Posted About

I have no idea how it got started, but I guess there was some brief debate online last week about whether Batman would perform oral sex on his girlfriend. I'd be surprised this became a topic of discussion, but I know too well the sort of madness one's brain can cook up when left to its own devices. If you've read this blog for any length of time, you know it, too. You poor unfortunate souls.

And I'm typing this very late Sunday night while I wait to see if the thunderstorm passing through does dump golf-ball sized hail like Alex decided to text a warning to me about. Like I needed that thought when I was trying to get some sleep before work tomorrow. Anyway, it can be a convenient distraction. 

So, Batman's sex life.

I can't really see him getting away with being so ungenerous in bed. Maybe with women he dates under his "dull-witted playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne" persona. They probably wouldn't be surprised he wasn't anything special in the sack (and might not care if they're interested in his money.) I don't know how many of those ladies he was actually sleeping with, though. Be difficult to explain his disappearing in the middle of the night and returning at sun-up beat to hell. But with the women who know he's Batman? I can't see either Catwoman or Talia letting him slide. I mean, Selina's got claws and a whip and I'm betting Talia keeps daggers or firearms handy as a matter of course.

On the other hand, it's funny to imagine him coming up with excuses not to. Like, 'The Bat-Signal, I have to go!' and he runs off. Or explaining the Joker had him chained up in a deathtrap earlier, and he had to manipulate the lockpick with his mouth, so his tongue's kind of worn out, and could he just take a rain check on that? Next time for sure.

Oh, and there was no hail. Huzzah!

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