Favorite Marvel Characters #5 - Nightcrawler

Character: Nightcrawler (Kurt Wagner)

Creators: Dave Cockrum and Len Wein

First appearance: Giant Size X-Men #1

First encounter: Nightcrawler #4. I didn't pick up that reprint of the X-Men's run-in with Doom until sometime in the early '90s. The first X-Men comic I owned was Uncanny #202, but Kurt's not in that. But in the same batch of comics that landed me that book, I got the final issue of the four-issue mini-series Dave Cockrum did back in the '80s. So it must be that.

Definitive writer: Chris Claremont or Alan Davis. It probably ought to just be Claremont, but I really like Davis' portrayal of Kurt during his stint as writer on Excalibur.

Definitive artist: Alan Davis! That sleekness Davis gives almost all his characters works really well for Kurt. Also, Kurt's an expressive guy, and Davis is very good at conveying that.

Favorite moment or story: Kurt's got a lot of good moments, from single-handedly protecting the heir to the throne of some kingdom from Arcade, to just managing to stay alive against the Wendigo that one time. Hey, Wolverine barely managed any better, you have to grade on a curve a little. He punched Mephisto right in the chops once (that was in his previous ongoing series, Aguirre-Sacasa/Darick Robertson one). I'm fond of the brief period where Technet was stuck on Earth and Kurt, laid up with a busted leg (thanks Captain Britain), turns them into a cohesive team, and uses them to stop a creature stealing mystical artifacts for a big bad. It showed Kurt relying on his wits, leadership abilities, and his skill connecting with others. That's from roughly Excalibur #45.

Why I like him: For starters, teleportation is a really cool power. I've always been a fan of those powers that make it quicker, easier, or just cooler to get from one place to another. Super-speed, heightened agility, intangibility, flight obviously, and teleportation. Maybe because I'm one of those folks who struggles to embrace that idea about it being the journey, not the destination. If I'm going somewhere, I want to get there now, not later. Plus, it makes for a lot of fun in fight scenes, letting Kurt wreak havoc attacking all over, turning enemies' attack against each other.

Kurt's got a cool look, for another thing. With the yellow eyes, the fangs, the two toes, the three fingers, the tail, the blue fur, the red, white and black costume that contrasts nicely with the fur. Throw in the distinctive style of his teleportation, with the explosion of smoke and the "BAMF" effect, he's well-designed to get a kid's attention. I've said it previously, but I think it really helps a character's chances to get the reader's attention if they're eye-catching, then the reader pays attention long enough for their personality to shine through.

Beyond that, there's the fact that Kurt looks scary, but generally he isn't. Oh, he can get angry, just like anybody else. One moment I considered mentioning above is from Excalibur #62, when he has to defend an unconscious Cerise and Shadowcat from a host of "warpies", only his powers have been blocked. Kurt's already feeling down because the Phoenix Force has dashed off into deep space with Rachel Summers and he thinks he should have done something, and now two more friends (or more than friend in Cerise's case) are in danger. So he unloads on those poor suckers. Those periodic badass moments are always appreciated.

But really, Kurt's a pretty gentle guy. Yes, he's handy with a sword, and quite willing to sock someone in the jaw if he thinks he deserves it (that warpie storyline ends with Kurt satisfyingly uppercutting Britain's version of Peter Gyrich), but he's pretty restrained. It's what makes the moments where he cuts loose more noticeable and effective, because he normally turns the enemy's strength against them. Let one bad guy hit another with an attack intended for Kurt. Use a judo toss and turn their momentum against them. All else fails, grab 'em and 'port them around until the strain conks them out. Kurt enjoys fighting, and he's good at it - hardly surprising given his powers and training - but I think it's less about hurting people, and more about the physical challenge it presents.

And the opportunity for dashing heroics, of course. Because Kurt fancies himself a swashbuckler, in the fictionalized form, anyway. I thought it was a good idea of Cockrum in that '80s mini-series to let Kurt spend some time with real pirates, as kind of a reminder they aren't all "yo ho ho" and good times. Still, Kurt's more the dashing rouge than the scalawag, which is the best way to go. It means you get a character who enjoys the challenge, enjoys saving the day, certainly enjoys impressing pretty ladies, and isn't likely to turn into one of those grim heroes who is all about the job, and can't take any real positives from it.

That's maybe the best thing about Kurt, his largely positive attitude. Sure, he gets frustrated, doubts Xavier's mission, doubts himself. Who wouldn't? He's watched friends die, or lose their powers, watched he and the other X-Men scrabble and fight and struggle to protect this world that continues to hate and fear them, him in particular. But he eventually resolves to go on, even if he isn't sure why, he sticks by his friends and hopes the reason will present itself in time (I think it's interesting that even in Uncanny X-Men #188, when he seems incredibly frustrates and angry, he's still on-board with finding young mutants and helping them learn to control his powers. He hasn't given up on that, he's just tired of protecting assholes like Gyrich from the Blob or whomever).

And his appearance prompted a lot of ugly reactions for a long time. Xavier found him being pursued by the stereotypical torch and pitchfork wielding mob. When he was gravely injured fighting Nimrod in Central Park, the response of the dock workers was not, "hey, this guy needs medical attention, let's help," it was "Get that stinkin' mutie!" His mother threw him off a damn waterfall to save her own neck. She's been more of a mother to her adopted daughter than she's ever been to him, to the extent that when they did Age of Apocalypse, one of the things they did to show how different this world was from the normal Marvel Universe was give Kurt and Mystique a close relationship, where she actually seemed to care for him. Then again, given Mystique's shitty track record of parenting with Rogue, Kurt's probably better off without her in his life.

And yet, here's Kurt, still finding things to enjoy in the world, still hoping he can make things better. He's still charming, friendly, funny, drinking beers with Logan, sword-fighting skeletons alongside Rachel or Kitty in the Danger Room, and apparently charming practically every lady he meets. I will readily admit the fact that Kurt is a character with a, let's say "unusual" appearance (because he's probably quite conventionally attractive without the fur and tail), who still manages to be incredibly successful with the opposite sex in part because of his personality is part of his appeal. Anyway, Nightcrawler seems like someone who would be a lot of fun to hang out with. Shoot some pool, help me brush up on my German, entertain me when he brings Logan along and they inevitably end up fighting a bunch of ninjas on my front lawn (though Logan would surely try to leave without helping to clean up the mess).

I feel a certain amount of similarity with Kurt. He's a lot more outgoing than I am, but he frequently only shows his positive emotions. When he's around his friends, he's all too willing to share in any revelry, to play the jokester, the one who keeps things lighthearted. But his doubts, his concerns, his fears, those he tends to tamp down, keep to himself. I'm not sure if he's trying to deny them, or if he just wants to sort everything out on his own, but that's my tendency as well. When the Phoenix takes off into space with Rachel, Kurt gets a little more angry, a little more brusque. Kitty keeps trying to talk to him about Rachel, and he keeps changing the subject or teleporting away. Whatever his feelings (he blames himself), he doesn't want to confide in others.

Likewise, for a long time, Kurt isn't comfortable being a leader. He's forced into it for a time after Storm is depowered and leaves the team, but he isn't comfortable in it, and doubts himself constantly. He seems better by the time Alan Davis is writing Excalibur, but he still second-guesses himself every time a snag crops up. Rather than adjusting and moving ahead with a new plan, Kurt is spending time worried he's made a mistake. That's because he cares deeply about his teammates and doesn't want to have put them in danger, but it also shows a certain lack of trust in his judgment (not to mention his teammates' abilities and experience). Even so, if you need a leader, Nightcrawler's willing to step up and give it a try, which is my feeling. I'm OK if presented with something I can do solo, where I'm boss and crew, but I'll issue commands only if nobody else is taking charge and there are things that need doing.

I haven't mentioned Kurt being a religious fellow yet. In truth, the swashbuckler was much more interesting to me than the priest. Especially because when writers start delving into Kurt's religious beliefs, they have a tendency to write a mopey, navel-gazing Kurt. While appropriate in small doses, it's not the Kurt I really want to see. I do appreciate the idea that the Elf believes in helping others, in love and compassion for those different from him, in spite of the fact he's seen precious little of that directed his way in life. It's nice, the same way that Steve Rogers was the right guy to get the Super-Soldier Serum because the man without power understands its value and potential for abuse, the guy who receives mostly hatred and scorn for being different understands how valuable it is to offer love and forgiveness.

What I Bought 7/3/2014 - Part 3

I had a chance recently to at least glance through some recently released comics I don't normally read, and wow, the current Iron Fist book did nothing to make me think I made a mistake giving it a pass. I'm not really a fan of Andrews' art to begin with, but the story was basically taking everything I remembered from Immortal Iron Fist, and burning it to the ground. No thanks.

Deadpool #30, by Gerry Duggan and Brian Posehn (writers), John Lucas (artist), Val Staples (colorist), Joe Sabino (letterer) - Mark Brooks does some really excellent cover work these days. I'm not sure how he is as a interior artist - the last time I saw his stuff was the late stages of the first volume of Ultimate X-Men, and it was solid if unspectacular, but that was many years ago. He may have moved forward considerably.

Deadpool and '70s Dazzler rush around killing Dracula's enhanced vampires. Agent Preston tacks down Eleanor using the clues she got from the thing that happened in Original Sin with the eyeball. Adsit is still shook up and hostile from what he saw, but at least we know Butler did trick Wade into killing his own daughter at some point in the past. I was concerned that would be the case.

That's about it for the plot, really. I mean, there are some details, like Deadpool switching into the same gear he wore in that '70s "lost issue" where he teamed up with Power Man and Iron Fist to fight The White Man, and Preston reflecting on how hanging around Wade has changed her, but for the broad strokes, there's not much. Which makes me think I'm going to give Deadpool's Axis tie-ins a pass. Getting really tired of Marvel's next big event hitting the solicits before the current big event has even finished.

Lucas' art is still not to my liking. He has some good panels here and there - I think he's pretty good at sinister or ominous faces, especially when he can use the approach of putting them mostly in shadow, with just their teeth or eyes highlighted. But the anatomy is wonky sometimes, Adsit's head still looks too squashed (though that stupid SHIELD neck brace thing isn't helping), and he doesn't nail the expressions often enough. At one point, Shiklah is negotiating with Dracula's emissary as a stall tactic. He says one thing and in the same panel she laughs and waves her hand dismissively. In the next panel she stands up and slams her fists against the table, but she doesn't really look angry enough or outraged to go with her body language.

Harley Quinn #7, by Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti (writers), Chad Hardin (art), Alex Sinclair and Paul Mounts (colors), John J. Hill (letters) - When I was going through my collection, I found out Hardin drew some of those Bloodrayne comics I bought many years ago, a fact I'd completely forgotten. His work's loosened up some since then, though I can't help being a little disappointed when I go from the Amanda Conner drawn cover to the not-Amanda Conner drawn interiors. But that would be true with the majority of artists out there.

Ivy has found out (with some help from Syborg) that the bounty placed on Harley is being posted from Harley's own laptop. It's updated every five days, which means the next update should be that night. Ivy proposes to hide in Harley's closet and wait for them to arrive. Which takes longer than she'd like because Harley takes awhile to go to sleep. Once she does we find out that Harley's the one posting the bounty. She's subconsciously worried that her new life will be ruined, and so had decided to cut the problem off before it starts. Thus, a bounty on herself to lure out potential threats so she can kill them. Instead, she nearly gets Ivy killed dealing with a couple of them who come swinging through the window, but the girls dispatch this latest threat. Not before Harley upped the bounty to $3 million, though. The good news is that one of the now dead assassins had a phone with a message about a big meeting of local hired guns, so our protagonists travel there to tell everyone there is no bounty. Ivy enlists a tree's help to keep everyone tied up while Harley collects their wallets so she can threaten to kill their loved ones if they come after her. Which mostly works, and the one who won't play ball gets killed then and there.

Darn, I really liked my theory that the person gunning for Harley was the mysterious, recently deceased former patient who left her that building. Oh well. Harley setting hundreds of bounty killers loose on herself is perhaps too on the nose that she's her own worst enemy, but it is accurate for her. Historically, any time she starts getting her act together, Mistah J shows up and she pitches everything else down the incinerator to be treated like garbage by the insane clown.

Hardin tries a cool layout on page 9, but I'm not sure it works. When Ivy hits the killer's gun so it fires into the floor, Hardin goes with a vertical panel running from the top of the page to the bottom, showing the bullets rushing through different rooms in the building. It's a nice idea, but the firing of the gun takes place three-quarters of the way down the page, and then there's one more panel below it (of Ivy kicking the guy in the face), so it forces the reader's eyes to jump all over the place. Do you finish the actual fight panels, then look at the bullets, or jump to the top of the page, follow the bullets' path to the bottom, then hop to the left for that last panel? The idea is good in theory, but the execution isn't quite there. Might have been better for the bullet firing to take place in the first panel, at the top of the page, so it would be like the bullets are traveling down through the building simultaneous to whatever is happening in the fight scene upstairs (which will be running parallel to it.

How Smart Do You Need To Be To Make Power Rings?

I've been going through my comic collection, trying to clear out stuff as I do from time to time. I was up to Tony Bedard's R.E.B.E.L.S. run, and I was rereading the Blackest Night tie-ins, when something struck me. At that point, Vril Dox' kid, Lyrl, has his 12th-level intellect back, and has thrown in with Starro the Conqueror. Vril has figured the best way to get rid of the Undead Lanterns that were coming after him was to sic them on Starro, and Starro's quite enjoying fighting an enemy he can't manage to kill. Meanwhile, Lyrl's trying to come up with some weapon that can mimic that particular energy emitted by a Lantern's ring, since that's all that can destroy these things. But nothing he builds works.

So, like the title of the post says. Coluans are supposed to be about the smartest species in the universe, and Lyrl is exceptionally smart even by their standards (Brainiac 5 is listed as a 12th level, so the only one I know for sure as being smarter is the original Braniac, who was listed as being some degree greater than 12th-level, meaning they can't accurately gauge it, I guess). It's not like one has to come up with a power source, the rings run off the emotional spectrum or whatever, the ring just has to tap into that. I know, I make it sound easier than it is, but come on, the Guardians managed it.

OK, they're a really ancient race (of little twits), they had a long time to study the emotional spectrum, figure out how to build something you can control mentally that runs off willpower, and they don't share their work. So unless a Coluan is brought into the Corps (which must have happened at some point), Colu doesn't get to study a ring, so they have to work off whatever they can observe at a distance. Even so, the Qwardians were able to cook a yellow ring up for Sinestro, and it didn't seem inferior to a GL ring. So they're smarter than the Coluans? Or is this a case where they're "Weaponeers", so they possess some limited brilliance that only expresses itself when they make weapons? Still, I wouldn't think that would somehow restrict the Coluans from figuring it out. They certainly possess sufficient understanding of the universe to make all sorts of interesting weapons.

Maybe it's supposed to be the emotional aspect that escapes them. They can't figure how to measure or quantify emotions, so they can't devise a weapon that absorbs and controls an energy they don't understand. Except the Guardians divorced themselves from emotions, didn't they? I guess it's a question of whether they did that before or after they made the rings, or maybe the Manhunters, since they ran on the same power source as the rings. Though the Guardians don't have to use the rings, so it wouldn't matter if they can't or won't feel anything, because they find others to handle that part. The Coluans would have to rely on themselves (I can't see them making power rings, then being dumb enough to hand them to some other species to use), and maybe that won't work. So it's considered a dead end field. Which doesn't explain Lyrl's failures, except if it was strictly a matter of time. He only had a couple of days.

What I Bought 7/3/2014 - Part 2

Since I'm back in a place with actual TV, I've seen a couple of commercials for the Guardians of the Galaxy movie and eeh, I grow increasingly concerned it's going to stink. A lot of things I think are meant to be funny feel like they're trying too hard, which worries me.

Captain Marvel #4, by Kelly Sue DeConnick (writer), David Lopez (art), Lee Loughridge (color art), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - That's a nice use of contrast between the red and the green. It's even set up so our eyes go from the cover and the starburst, down to her fists, which brings us to Carol's new team there in the background.

Carol meets with the representatives of all the different people who tried to make a home for themselves on Torfa. There's a lot of arguing among the species about what to do, because they're pretty set on not leaving anyone behind. It's heartening actually, unless I get cynical and see it as a competition to see who can martyr themselves the most. I think that's that stinking Support Your Local Wizard book talking. Carol suggests building large barges which could be towed by their smaller fighter craft to some other world. Except none of the fighters actually work, which leaves them helpless before the attacks of those same pirates Carol ran into on the way here. Carol does have a ship, though, so she and her little band hop in and pursue. Then they steal a bunch of stolen goods from the pirates. Meanwhile, the Spartax emperor (Star-Lord's dad) is laying down the law on the Madame Eleanides, the dragon lizard lady who's head honcho on Torfa. There will be a certain number of transports on Torfa in a few days. They will evacuate the people who aren't sick, and only those. The sick will be left to die, or everyone will be left to die.

I liked Star-Lord's dad more when he was dead. Or at least effectively dead because he wasn't appearing in any comics. He's all of Tony Stark's overbearing arrogance without any of his charm, wit, or compassion. The Avengers should have held off fighting the Builders until this guy was dead. Oh, and couple of his agents were on the planet Carol tracked those pirates to. This somehow leads us back to where we started in issue 1, them stopping on Alien Marrakesh to buy. . . something. I'm still not clear on what the thing they bought was.

Real talk? I'm considering dropping this book. It hasn't clicked for me. Not sure why; DeConnick's a fine writer, she's trying to build a supporting cast, I feel like Carol has character traits that should make her a character I'd like, Lopez' art is very pretty (we'll come back to that in a second), but. . . no. Maybe it's taking too long to get anywhere. We're just now finding out Emperor Dork of the Spartax is up to something, but no clue why. No progress on why the planet Torfa is mysteriously toxic. So the book is on the clock.

One of these days, David Lopez is going to land on a book where I'm going to unreservedly love everything about it, and I'll just enjoy his art for years. He doesn't do anything particularly wild with the layouts, but he's really good with facial expressions and body language, and I'm more interested in that stuff, anyway. It's easier for me to notice. The way that Jackie's "hair" shakes hands with Carol's hair, even as Jackie and Carol are themselves shaking hands. Also, the way that Jackie gives Carol a sly wink as she introduces herself as a goddess, leaning forward conspiratorially. Carol's posture when she asks Gil if he'd like to punch her again. It looks exactly what I figure it should look like if you lean forward mid-sentence and encourage someone to paste you one. Everything on Torfa is colored this diffuse yellow. Like it isn't overcast, but the sun's light isn't completely getting through. Or the star is dying, like the people on the planet it shines on.

Daredevil #4, by Chris Samnee and Mark Waid (storytellers), Javier Rodriguez (colorist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) -  You think there's a way Samnee could have made DD's little horns work as the owl's eyes? The way the scales of Justice worked as Matt's eyes on the previous issue's cover?

So Shroud didn't completely sell out Matt, as he makes certain the star of the book doesn't fall to a fiery death. However, while Matt's saving himself as beating up cannon fodder, the Shroud escapes with the Owl, leaving Matt to escape the Owl's compound and meet Kirsten for dinner. They chat a bit, she reveals Owlsley has been buying up Silicon Valley contracts, except one, which not only refused to sell, but also made some big breakthrough. Matt's off to their labs, and there's the Shroud and the Owl. The Owl didn't break under torture, so if Max wants to know where Julia is, he had to help the Owl get here. "Here" being a lab where they've developed a way to send information in the form of photons directly into your brain. The Owl sees it as a way to true omniscience, but he'll have to get past Daredevil first. Unless the Shroud gets in the way, and he does, which is when Matt figures out something critical about Max: That he's trying to get himself killed, which Matt, good Catholic boy he is, won't allow. But that gives Owlsley time to access the invention, though it's hard to tell what it did, other than seemingly render him catatonic for the time being. In the aftermath, Matt vows he'll find Julia, if the Shroud will cut this "death by super-villain" stuff out, and Max seems to agree. Good lick with that, Matt. I wouldn't expect him to have much patience.

Not really loving the Shroud's portrayal here. For one thing, the idea he's outclassed going up against the Owl seems ludicrous to me. Wasn't one of the Shroud's first battles against Dr. freaking Doom? I know Waid isn't a fan of Doom being presented as having any nobility or honor, but I thought he at least respected him as a serious threat. Isn't Matt the one who dismissed the Owl as dangerous, but not on Wilson Fisk's level? Didn't he also decide the Shroud was a more pressing problem than the Owl? Given all that, I'm not quite sure how he works out that the Owl is too dangerous for the Shroud. Sure, if Max really wants to die, that gives the Owl some help, but I remain unconvinced the Owl is actually beyond Max' capabilities, and it mostly just comes off like Waid and Samnee bagging on the Shroud to make Daredevil look better. I have no clear idea on why I care. I'm not a huge Shroud fan, though I like the character all right, I just feel like he's getting dissed here, made to look like a chump so Daredevil can play savior or win a game of "Who had the shittier life?"

Complaining about the Shroud aside, how was the issue? I do prefer this coldly vicious, knowledge obsessed Owl to the sadist in Superior Foes. Not sure where they plan to go with him now that he tapped into those photons. I'm guessing he'll be the Big Bad for Matt's time in San Francisco, the way Bullseye was in the prior volume. He's theoretically going to know everything, which would certainly make him capable of causing trouble, if he can harness it. I like that they're playing with Matt being a celebrity, people wanting to take pictures with him, and Matt being mostly OK with it. He's enough of a ham and showboat to get off on it. We'll see if it gets overbearing as time goes on, starts affecting his personal life or work. That might be interesting, if it isn't the super-villains knowing that makes having no secret identity a problem, but all the everyday folks that won't quit bugging you.

The art is excellent as usual. I like the brief skirmish Matt has with the Owl's goons, where they're simply dark outlines, because Matt can't see them, and it's such a perfunctory fight they don't really matter. They're just a minor obstacle. And the way their outlines form the background for the room they're in when the fight's over and Matt's the only one standing. There are a couple of things I don't know whether to credit Samnee or Javier Rodriguez. The way that when the Shroud projects his shadow field, it looks like all these little grasping hands. I'm guess that's Samnee, because I think he does a lot of the shadows on his work (which would explain why the coloring looks different from when Rodriguez draws the book, even though he's still the one coloring it), but I can't be sure. The other thing was that swirling light above the new data delivery thing. That massive white whirlpool or whatever it was. It looked really cool, but I don't know if Samnee outlined it first, or if that space was mostly blank and it was left to Rodriguez to make it look good with colors.

Ace of Aces

One more movie from last week. Turner Classic was showing a bunch of 1930s war films on Friday. There was one submarine film with Walter Houston, but I never got the name of it, so we'll stick to Ace of Aces.

The film starts with Rocky Thorne, sculptor (played by Richard Dix), and Nancy Adams (Elizabeth Allan), wealthy heiress maybe, she's doing all right for herself at any rate, engaged and very much in love. Then war intrudes, as it usually does in these stories. What's somewhat different is Rocky has no interest in getting involved. He doesn't want to die, obviously, but more critically, he doesn't want to kill. Certainly not for something like nationalism, or because someone else commands him to. For this, Nancy condemns him as a coward and breaks things off. After that, Rocky can't tune out the marching and the shouting outside his studio window, and he joins a flying squadron.

A flying squadron where seemingly everyone has an animal mascot. One guy has a dog, another a pig, a third a parrot. OK, normal enough. But one guy has a monkey and Rocky brings a lion cub with him. Where the hell did he get that, and how was he able to bring it into France with him? Did he steal it from the Paris Zoo? Anyway, Rocky goes up and manages to down an enemy plane on his first sortie, after some hesitation. Back on the ground, his commander chastises him for that hesitation. At which point, a switch seems to flip in Rocky's head. He becomes obsessed with flying and more so with shooting down enemy planes. When someone loads his guns incorrectly, he chews the guy out and declares he'll load his own guns from now on. When he complains his plane is a piece of junk, he's told he's stuck with it as long as it can fly. So he goes on a mission and gets it shot up to where he can't land it without crashing, and it's beyond repair. Presto! New plane for Rocky. Soon he's the top ace on the Allied side.

But he's no longer much of a jovial sort. When one of the other pilots shoots himself, the others all rush to staunch the bleeding, Rocky sits on his cot, preparing his belts of ammo. He cares not a bit for his wingmen while in the air, only for finding and downing the enemy. He runs into Nancy while he has some time off (she's in medic corps), but doesn't care to resume their romantic relationship. He only has a couple of days off, and doesn't want to waste it on that. Physical enjoyment will be sufficient for him. Personally, I wouldn't have wanted anything to do with her, since it was her browbeating that brought him to this, but Rocky seems to love the flying and killing, so I guess he doesn't hold a grudge.

Then he shoots down a young German pilot who was simply delivering a message that one of Rocky's wingmen had survived being shot down over enemy lines. Rocky himself was returning from a solo "hunting" mission, and was wounded, and the two wind up side by side in the hospital. Which brings Rocky face-to-face with the results of his actions in the air. After that, he and Nancy start to reconnect, Rocky accepts a transfer to train new pilots, but can't help going up again when he learns some new hotshot has surpassed his kill total. Interestingly, the movie doesn't punish him for this pride by having him downed by a superior pilot. Instead, he gets in position to strike, then finds he can't do it, and while he hesitates, is noticed by the wing he's following and jumped by all five of them. He survives, though he loses a leg, and he and Nancy return to their prewar life. Except Rocky claims he can no longer sculpt. Creation is beyond him now, only destruction remains.

Ace of Aces is kind of a different war film from what I'm used. My dad had explained that the submarine film I mentioned at the top was made prior to some Code they implemented which restricted certain things from being shown (in that film, the main character was fooling around with a paralyzed pilot's wife, and he said after the Code, people who committed adultery would not been allowed to be shown profiting from it), and I assume this was as well. The cynicism makes sense, considering by 1933 we're into the Great Depression, plus the people who went through the war having some justifiably negative feelings about it. Still, most of the war films, even the other ones TCM showed that day, were about how awful it was to watch the friends you made in battle keep dying, and how hard it was for the commanders to keep sending them off, knowing many of them were going to die.

Ace of Aces doesn't worry about that at all. It looks like that's the direction it'll go early on, when he's being introduced to the other fellows in the squadron, but once Rocky settles into his hunter mindset, that fades away. Instead of war being awful for the emotional toll it exacts from the losses one experiences, it's war being awful because it makes it easy to kill without experiencing the emotional cost of that. Until he meets that rookie pilot in the hospital, Rocky never met anyone he shot down. It's like they were abstract concepts, no more real people than a computer-generated foe you or I might shoot down in a video game. And that made it easy. Rocky could throw away the hesitation he was chided for, the empathy that made him unwilling to enlist initially. Someone becoming unconcerned with the suffering of their enemy in war films isn't unusual, but it's frequently combined with the combatant being greatly concerned with preserving the lives of their comrades. This film ignored it entirely.

I'm also a little surprised he didn't die in the end. That was what I expected. He would let his pride get the best of him and it would kill him. And Nancy, who had reconnected both of them with the man he used to be, would be left to mourn, and she could live with the fact she pushed him to this.I didn't like Nancy much, and I'm not sure I was meant to. She seemed to stand-in for all the people who insisted it was proper to go fight in World War I, to defend God and Country, many of whom did not actually go off to fight and die for God and Country. She might have been sincere in her belief it was a "necessary" war, but that didn't make her telling Rocky his unwillingness to kill was actually cowardice. But he didn't die, and he and Nancy are together again. However, Rocky is still scarred, having lost that leg, and perhaps more critically (depending on how you value things), his inspiration. He can't think of anything to sculpt, or at least can't think of how to represent it. He presents it as his ability to create having been driven out by the military's necessity he destroy. It might be worse in some ways, to live knowing exactly what he's lost, but he is still alive, so he's got that going for him.

What I Bought 7/3/2014 - Part 1

Yeah, I've had these books for over a week, I just didn't feel like getting to them last week. Living out of suitcases always discombobulates me.

Avengers Undercover #5 & 6, by Dennis Hopeless (writer), Kev Walker (penciler, #5), Timothy Green II (artist), Jason Gorder (inker), Jean-Francois Beaulieu (colorist), Joe Caramagna (letterer) - I am not sorry I couldn't find an image of #6's cover to use. It has about the chunkiest, dumpiest looking Captain America on it I've ever seen. Even worse than the one Coipel drew in New Avengers Annual #1, the one I joked had been eating too many of Aunt May's wheatcakes. The stupid helmet he has on his costume these days doesn't help, I'm sure.

Issue 5 is the sales pitch. Zemo's crew splits up the kids and tries to show them what a great life they'll have if they sign on. Well, except for Madame Masque. She expects Cammi, Hazmat, and Anachronism to recognize what's offered, and she's got stuff to do, so she bails. I like that. It's still a version of a hard sell - "this deal is so great I'm not even wasting time pitching it" - but one ostensibly designed not to insult the intelligence of these three Masque has just praised for being decisive leaders. Which doesn't seem like an accurate description of Anachronism or Hazmat. Nico would have been a better choice, but she's getting wooed by Hellstrom bringing her dead ex-boyfriend back from Hell.

Anyway, Masque's charges, left to their own devices, come up with a plan. They know working for Zemo won't work out long-term - it never does for the lackey villains - and leaving sends them back to jail for killing Arcade, since they aren't going to get a pass that heroes get anymore. So instead, they decide to try a con. Pretend to accept, wait for an opening, then bring down Zemo's whole operation from the inside. They get everyone on board except Deathlocket, who they can't get away from the teen villain dorks she's hanging with. But then Cammi refuses to sign and leaves, only to be ambushed by Constrictor. God, I hate Constrictor getting strut around like some big wheel. Gonna need to see him get stabbed by somebody before this is all over. Preferably Zemo. Doesn't have to die from it, but I need that moment where he realizes he's still just a chump. That he always has been, always will fodder for the smarter villains.

Issue #6 looks at how Deathlocket's adjusting to life on Zemo's team. Answer is, a little too well. She's having the time of her life, right up to the point they're sent to assault an A.I.M. facility. She adjusts to whomping the crap out of the orange beekeepers very quickly, but then Captain America shows up. And Digger tells her to shoot him. Chase keeps that from happening, and then finally explains to her this isn't supposed to be a con. Then he and Digger start fighting, and Deathlocket. . . shoots Chase. You know, if I didn't regard Chase as a useless moron, I'd be bothered by that. Then again, it's not likely to be pretty when Nico finds out.

So I'm pretty sure Cammi's leaving was part of the plan, because she'd been giving Zemo too much static to suddenly shift gears and sign on. I'm also pretty sure her getting pummeled against a wall by Constrictor wasn't the plan. Which is not a good sign for this working. That and the fact they went ahead with it without letting Deathlocket in on it ahead of time. The kids clearly think they're pretty smart, but I have a feeling the bad guys are a few levels above them. I don't think Zemo's crew is even trying to undermine a scam; they're just doing a very good job finding different hooks to put into each kid so it's easier to keep them divided and malleable.

Kev Walker's art is very good on issue 5 as usual, I really enjoy Beaulieu's colors though. The kids are split up and each section has it's own shading. Nico, Cullen, and Hellstrom are in a lot of yellow, orange, and red, especially this sort of sickly orange, that plays off that deep purple of Nico's powers really well. Makes things feel hot, but nobody's sweating, because it's a different kind of heat maybe. Cammi, Hazmat, and Anachronism are in this really cool blues, way up above everything, trying to survey the scene calmly, find a way out. Lots of deep shadows, too, appropriate for scheming. As for Chase and Deathlocket, they're in what I'd call normal lighting, maybe because it's a more low-key sort of sales pitch. Just hang out, have fun. No offers of power and wealth, no offer to help understand one's power or true nature.

As for Tim Green, if he would make Deathlocket less of a leggy supermodel, things would be fine. It is really jarring going from how Walker draws her, short, not that much of a figure yet, to Green's version, which would look skinny if he was drawing Psylocke. Otherwise, I thought he did pretty well. I'm not clear on where Deathlocket's shot hit Cap to smack him back into the Humvee without actually killing him (unless Hopeless plans to reveal it was a stun shot all along), but besides that, I thought it was good. He can't make Cap's new outfit look good either, but I've yet to see anyone who can. It's a bad costume, Marvel, give it up. Hmm, is that why the Falcon is becoming Captain America for awhile, so Steve can get a new, non-shitty outfit? I don't know whether to credit Green or Caramagna, but I like the "Dink, Dink" sound effect for when the A.I.M. guy in the exo-suit tosses Chase. Perfectly appropriate for Chase.

The Invisible Man 1.16 - Flowers for Hobbes

Plot: You know this is gonna be a good episode because we start at a sperm bank for Nobel Prize winners, with a very uncomfortable chemist named Dr. Sestok. While he tries to prepare himself mentally to make his contribution (not made any easier by all the things the bank has added to make it easier), someone else is breaking into the freezer by melting the wall, and they make off with several samples.

After the case gets bounced around between departments, it makes its way to the Agency, who can use the budget boost handling this successfully will bring, judging by their projector. Like Fawkes, I too attended schools with better AV equipment. Maybe not my junior high, but my high school, certainly. Once at the sperm bank, Fawkes quickly recognizes that a destabilizing catalyst was used to get through the wall, and he knows the guy who uses it, a sleazy thief named Manny Merrick. Merrick confesses he stole the samples for a Dr. Galasyn, who they find at a local university. We learn a couple of things on the way. One, Fawkes attended college for a couple of years, but dropped out because his brother's successes made him feel inadequate. He doesn't put it that way, but that's the implication. Two, Hobbes had an appointment to West Point, because he wanted to see some action. Also, he can't pronounce "MENSA".

The doc has extracted some gene (or genes) from the sperm he thinks relates to intelligence, and built it into a retrovirus, which will increase neural cell production and make people smarter. He has four students willing to play test subject, and gets a surprise fifth when Hobbes grabs him. During the struggle, the syringe breaks and Hobbes' hand is cut. Better him than Fawkes, though, since the retrovirus would have interacted poorly with the gland, killing Darien. Hobbes' intelligence begins to rise rapidly, which seems pretty good at first. Then the return to the doctor's office to find contact information for the students and find one of them in his office, scribbling furiously on the walls. Then she blows herself and the doc up with nitro. Afterward, the changes in Hobbes become more pronounced. Fawkes finds him watching 5 TVs at once, laughing at. . . something. He shows little interest in the fate of the other students, and in fact, quits his job, then starts dropping truth bombs on Fawkes on the way out.

That leaves Darien and the Keeper to find the other kids, but when they do, the kids are together, catatonic. Best to retrieve Hobbes quickly, then. He's back at home, busy on three computers simultaneously. Which doesn't keep him from hearing Fawkes enter and nearly kill his partner. Fortunately, Claire busts out the tranq gun, which brings Hobbes back to his old self enough he can make another flirtatious comment. When we pick up again, Hobbes is in the padded room, in a strait jacket, and it's down to Darien to save the day. Hobbes is the only person left smart enough to figure out how to undo the effects of the retrovirus, but he's not inclined to do so. The fate of the other subjects doesn't concern him, because he says he understands what they've become, so there's no reason to fear. He's beyond merely trying to survive, he's trying to evolve, and then he declares friendship to be an illusion. So Darien brings out the big gun: a sample of the retrovirus. Useless against Hobbes, but it'll kill Darien, unless Hobbes tells them how to undo it. Hobbes thinks it's a bluff, after all, friendship is an illusion, Fawkes is just a man concerned only with his own survival, he won't do it.

Then he does it, and Hobbes comes back to himself enough to tell Claire what to do. And thus, Darien's life is saved, and Hobbes is restored to his former level of intelligence. Which is OK. He's flirting with Claire, and he and Fawkes promise they'd risk their necks for each other again.

Quote of the Episode: Darien - 'Yes, you will. You would die for me, Bobby. See, that's what I know. It's not 'cause it's your job, or your code. It's 'cause I'm your friend. If you think that's an illusion, then you're just plain ignorant.'

The "Oh crap" count: 1 (24 overall).

Who's getting quoted this week: John Oliver Hobbes, who said all men are the same, they always think what they'll get is better than what they have. Bobby Hobbes, who said 'to hell with this'. Hobbes then quotes Edison about how much of genius is perspiration. Schopenhauer said increased intelligence means a greater capacity for pain, and someone said everyone is a genius until they open their mouth.

Times Fawkes Goes Into Quicksilver Madness: 0 (6 overall).

Other: Oh, this episode. I'm not sure if this is my favorite episode of Season 1, but it's in the top 2 or 3. I love the shift in Hobbes, the way he doesn't react so impulsively to things as he grows in intelligence. Heck, he barely reacts to things at all. Every response he makes comes after a pause, like it's an effort to bring his mind back to this place long enough to react. Paul Ben-Victor gives his voice this dead, distant quality which is really creepy coming from the normally more animated Hobbes, especially combined with the relaxed, disinterested posture he takes.

What's interesting about the scene where he disrespects the Official and then quits is, he says a lot of things that are true. He says he realizes how much he undermined his career and personal life with his own insecurities. Absolutely correct. When Fawkes tries to tell Hobbes the gifts he's using aren't really his, Hobbes rightly points out Fawkes wasn't born with that gland, either. He's not wrong about how the Official's power just trickles down through the system. The Official is tougher than he looks, but if Hobbes or Fawkes actually wanted to kill him, they could. He can't stop them by holding up an organizational flow chart pointing out he's their boss.

He could even, depending on your perspective, be right when he says no one at the Agency cared about him, really. I don't think that's true, and certainly, I think it was disproven by everyone's actions. From Claire and Darien busting their humps to save Hobbes, to even the Official giving Hobbes his job back afterward without giving Hobbes any static. But look at the past history. The Official routinely treats Hobbes like crap. Darien makes fun of Hobbes' ideals. Claire pokes a bit of fun at his intelligence (which she also does to Darien, but still). It ignores a lot of other things - Darien risking his neck for Hobbes, Claire's tears when she though Hobbes had died - but Hobbes by this stage thinks of friendship as an illusion, just people huddling in groups for safety. From that perspective, the less pleasant interactions read as a truer indication of their feelings. It's skewed, but Hobbes is at a stage where he's divorced from any emotional context, so it makes sense to him.

And the scene in the padded room. I like stories about the power of friends, and that, yeah. Darien managing to draw Hobbes into an extended conversation. Because Hobbes still cares about Fawkes, no matter what he says about friendship. Hobbes wants his buddy to understand, to know what he's learned, so he tries to explain. And once he's in the conversation, invested in it, Darien can play his trump card. The moment where he pulls the syringe from his jacket, and Hobbes is almost contemptuous, the retrovirus can't do anything to him. Then Darien reminds him, it can kill Fawkes, and Hobbes can't quite believe it. But Fawkes does it, and that breaks through the distance Hobbes had from everyone else, and he saves Darien's life. I am curious whether Hobbes was crying because Darien was willing to die for this, or because he knew he was about to lose his intelligence. I love how as soon as Claire bursts in saying she can synthesize that enzyme, Darien loses the cool facade he was maintaining and bolts from the room demanding she get this crap the hell out of him. It amuses me, but I don't think it hurts the impact of the moment.

I do find it interesting that even up to the end, Hobbes continues to flirt with Claire. Might suggest something about how strong his feelings are for her, that it's the only thing that reaches across the distance between him and everyone else.

Favorite DC Characters #5 - Tim Drake

Character: Robin (Tim Drake)

Creators: Pat Broderick and Marv Wolfman. I'm not sure who I was expecting, but it wasn't those two.

First appearance: Batman #442.

First encounter: There's a chance it's Batman #481, but I think it's Robin #4. Either way, it would have been in one of those five comic grab bags you could get at the grocery store, or maybe as part of a Christmas gift bunch o' comics. Used to ask for that out of the Sears Christmas catalog every year.

Definitive writer: Chuck Dixon

Definitive artist: I like Tom Grummett's work a lot, and he drew Robin #4, but I gotta go with Pete Woods. He was the regular artist when I started buying the book, and remained in that role for the next 3 years.

Favorite moment or story: Robin #88-92. Tim ventured to the Himalayas over Spring Break to rescue his classmate Danny, who turned out to be a possible heir to control of Kobra, and was going to be used by the Lady Eve and her faction. But the old Naga-Naga wasn't ready to surrender the crown just yet, to say nothing of Tim's old foe, King Snake, now with his eyesight restored by a Lazarus Pit. Tim is alone, in the midst of all that sectarian fighting, complete with giant robots, mini-Yetis, and lots and lots of Kobra disciples, to rescue a friend. And he pulls it off, though Danny figures out Robin is actually Tim Drake. There's also a lovely aftermath where Tim relates all this to Batman, and more than that not only calls the Bat to task for revealing Tim's secret i.d. to Spoiler without Tim's say-so, but also confesses just how much he and Steph care for each other. Really, any time Tim tells off Batman for being a big jerk is a good moment. Bonus points if it actually punctures the Bat's shell of self-righteousness.

Why I like him: I don't think Tim Drake was the first DC character I became a big fan of, but he's probably the second. Robin was definitely the first ongoing from DC I bought monthly. Chris Sims isn't wrong when he says kids want to be Robin, the colorful kid who gets to hang out with Batman. He gets to fight crime like Batman, without being as grim and relentless as Batman. Tim had the added bonus that they gave him a bo staff, and a detachable "R" he could use like a shuriken. That may not sound like much, but at the time, I was really into the Ninja Turtles and Power Rangers. I spent a lot of time in my backyard, pretending sticks were ninja weapons. Tim caught me at a good time. If DC had given him nunchucks, I don't know what might have happened.

One of the other things I like about Tim is the physical stuff is an effort for him. Relatively speaking, anyway. Tim is still an Olympic-level athlete, or near it. But compared to most other non-powered heroes, Tim's not as gifted. He's not Cass Cain, or Dick Grayson. It can be a lot of fun to watch characters do really awesome things with seeming ease, but it can also be fun to watch characters find workarounds to compensate. He can't do the things they do. This requires him to be a little more careful, calculating, he has to find other ways. There's a Zero Hour tie-in where he meets Dick Grayson from Dick's early days as Robin (because time is falling apart, you see). They go after some thieves in a big aquarium and Dick, who at that stage is less experienced than Tim, simply leaps for some scaffolding, swings in a loop around it, plants and launches himself on towards the hoods. Tim's reaction is to hurl a grappling line and swing after Grayson, mulling to himself, if he tried that he'd break his neck. When he fights King Snake in the story I mentioned above, he's largely just trying to stay alive. He's tired, and King Snake is a better fighter than him, faster, stronger. Tim's advantage turns out to be Snake isn't used to having working eyes when he fights and sight is throwing him off. Even so, he busts Tim in the face with a kick that goes right through his staff, because Tim's just not quick enough. It's different to see a non-powered hero who isn't an entirely unstoppable physical specimen.

He has to use his wits, and I dig that, maybe because I fancy myself as being pretty clever, even though my track record with mystery novels indicates I'm no detective. It's fun to watch Tim piece things together, but because he isn't Batman, he still makes some mistakes or false assumptions. Sometimes he can't wait to get all the pieces, and has to go for it. Which means he can wind up in the middle of a mess before he figures out what's really going on, and then has to think fast to get himself out.

A fair amount of what I like about Tim is the Spider-Man formula. Teenager, trying to juggle superheroics with school, romance, friends, parental obligations, that sort of thing. The details are different, though, which makes a difference. Tim's being mentored by an older hero. He not only has civilian friends as Tim Drake, but Robin has lots of costumed friends as well. I know Spidey's a big team player now, but for a lot of the time I've been acquainted with the character he was in that mode where he might team-up with anybody, but they'd probably fight initially, and even afterwards, they weren't really friends. But Robin has a ton of friends, not just within the Bat-family, but also other heroes of his age, like the Young Justice bunch. Heck, he geeked out over getting to meet and work with Ted Kord (which is another reason to like Tim, he recognizes Ted Kord's a cool guy). That he and ted would get along well makes a lot of sense, considering they're both tech geeks, as well as non-powered heroes who don't get to be unstoppable fighting machines.

Another difference is Tim isn't motivated necessarily by the loss of someone close to him. I know his mother was killed sometime prior to his getting his own series, but at least during the time I bought Robin, she rarely came up. The closest might have been in the fact that Tim wasn't entirely comfortable around his step-mother, which is understandable. But I didn't see Tim out there driving himself crazy trying to make sure no one else lost their mother. He became Robin because he thought Batman needed a partner to keep him balanced, and found he enjoyed being Robin. The enjoyment didn't end because he lost someone. Later on, when they started heaping tragedy on top of him might be another story. He seemed to lose his grin, but that Robin isn't the one I particularly like. I didn't drop the book until Beechen's run gave us Crazy Cass Cain, but in retrospect, I should have bailed when Willingham took over.

Tim, for better or worse, has a fair amount of Batman's ruthlessness in him. That ability to look at things coldly and logically, and make ugly decisions. But the part of that I actually enjoy is Tim recognizing this, and recognizing that he doesn't want to become like Batman. He wants to continue fighting crime and protecting people, but he's smart enough to see the utter mess Batman makes of all his interpersonal relationships on a regular basis, and know that's not what he wants his life to be. So we get to watch Tim struggle against that, to hold onto the people close to him, to make sure to make time for his dad, for Stephanie. To just hang out with Superboy, Impulse, and Wonder Girl, or Nightwing. The key was he seemed to be succeeding in his goal, in spite of the general difficulties life presents, not to mention the unwitting damage Batman caused. Like when his Young Justice teammates learned about Batsy's "Kill the Justice League" plans, and started looking askance at Tim. They wondered if he had similar plans, or if he was collecting information on them for Batman (that's silly, that's what Batman built a sentient spy satellite to do. Well, that and kill people with OMACs). Which made a lot of problems for Tim, and helped push him to leave the team for awhile, because it was hard to have friends who didn't trust him. But they were able to patch things up, eventually. It was when Tim started losing that battle, because all the people around him kept dying, that I checked out.

Tim's not the most gifted hero, but he's smart enough to stay within himself and find a way to make things work, brave enough to take a chance when he has to. Cool-headed when he needs to be, but not sealed off from his emotions, still able to care about others, to have a life, and enjoy it.

Return To The Woods

Out in the woods, on the slope of a valley, two technicians work. They're trying to get some vegetation sampling done, in spite of the humidity. Not to mention the crew is short-handed, so they're covering extra work, on top of the extra extra work they've opted to do. As the gnats swarm around, and it proves annoyingly difficult to determine how much of the ground cover is live plants with the different levels of shrubs and trees coming into play, the two wonder what the heck they're doing.

"We're almost done with this array, at least," said the first, older, little chunkier, dark, straight hair thinning on top, but getting annoyingly long on the sides and front.

"Yeah, do you, do you think you want to do more tomorrow?" said the other, roughly the same height as the first, perhaps a inch shorter, sandy blonde hair wisely buzzed short.

"If we can. Have to see how the weather plays out, but if it doesn't rain, and the capture's aren't crazy, I think we can manage it."

"OK, that's sounds good. Yeah, they're talking about rain tomorrow afternoon, but we might be able to squeeze a couple in first."

Across the valley from the techs is another array. The two already took care of the veg sampling there, on their way to this one. The arrays are three walls of aluminum, standing knee-high, set in a "Y" around a bucket set in the ground. It's from that direction the two hear an abrupt, loud bang. Something crashing into metal. Both heads snap up and peer in that direction, but the other array is at a higher elevation, so they don't see a thing.

"Careful over there! We don't want to have to retrench that thing, ya know!" the older tech exclaimed. "That's all we need, to have to do more digging."

"Probably just a deer. They trip over those things all the time."

"Yeah, could be a bear, though. We aren't far from where Kyle got approached by that bear last year." The older tech looks across the valley and shouts, "Hey, while you're there, could ya grab my hand rake and bring it over here?"

"It'll still be there when we get done here."

"Unless that's a raccoon over there. Probably steal it, add to the collection of stakes and Sherman traps. But yeah, it's no big deal, just bugs me I forgot it."

The work continues, slowly. The two keep getting distracted, discussing Mel Brooks' films (the younger tech is a Philistine who's never seen Spaceballs), the World Cup (the older tech knows zilch about soccer, but his coworker's enthusiasm is infectious), the name of Achillies' sidekick. Eventually, they finish. As they gather their tools to leave, they turn to see a bear, sitting patiently. It's not a massive bear, only a black bear, between 2 or 3 hundred pounds, though that's large for this neck of the woods, but the rake looks like a salad as it rests in his jaws. The younger tech is stunned, unsure of what to do. The older tech is surprised, but strangely calm. Even he is surprised that he isn't more nervous, but the bear seems calm, so he figures he might as well be calm, too.

"Hey, my rake. Thanks a bunch." He walks forward, but the bear leans back a bit. "Oh come on, you went to the trouble to come over here with it. Are you just in the mood for keepaway?" He turns to the other tech. "Hold up your hands, see if he'll toss it to you."

"Is this really how we should handle a bear approaching us?"

"You want to try and scare it, see how that works out?"

"No," He raises his hands, motioning for the bear to toss the rake. The bear tilts its head, but doesn't otherwise react. "Now what?"

"Howzabout a trade? I don't have any food - and we aren't supposed to give bears food anyway, sorry! - but I'm sure we have something."

"We can't give him work equipment!" the younger tech hisses.

"We can if it's something we can replace easily. I'll just say I lost it in the woods, and no one will no different if you keep your mouth shut about it."

"Why not just say you lost the rake?"

"I can't say that, the bear is clearly standing right there with it in his mouth. Let's see, you want a compass? See, tells you which direction you're going."

The bear snorts.

"Yeah, probably useless to a bear, with bear senses." He proceeds to rummage through his bag. "We've got a stapler, a marker, want a hand magnifying lens?"

The bear settles more firmly on its haunches, and folds its paws across its chest.

"Real bargain hunter, aren't you? Look, I told you I can't give you food. Can't give you this canopy tube either, not that I know what you'd do with it. Pardon me a moment." The tech removes a red handkerchief from his pocket, meaning to blow his nose, but notices the bear's attention pick up. "You want the handkerchief? Well, it's a nice one. My dad gave it to me. I haven't used it since the last time I washed it. You really want it?"

The bear drops the rake, and bats it casually in the the tech's direction with one swipe of its paw. The tech holds the handkerchief out at arms' length. The bear calmly leans forward and plucks it from his hand with its teeth. It then rises, turns, and walks off on all fours, without so much as a snort or growl for a fare thee well. The older tech turns to the younger.

"And you were worried about me giving up field equipment!"

"What does it want with that?"

"How should I know? Got my rake back, got to meet a bear up close, and didn't get mauled. And now I'm done working for the day! Let's get out of here."

A few weeks later. . .

"Now describe this thief to me again," the sheriff said, slight irritation creeping into his voice.

The man mulled it over, rubbing his chin whiskers. "Well, I couldn't see his whole face. He was wearing a handkerchief across it like a bandanna. But he must have had a big nose, the bandanna was really stickin' out there."

"Uh-huh."

"Oh he was so hairy. A big beard, bushy eyebrows, hair all over his arms and chest." This was uttered by a very flustered lady standing next to the man. "And he was having a hard time staying on his feet. He was bowlegged, and swaying around a lot. I think he was on meth."

"Might be, he wasn't making much sense with his words," the man agreed.

"OK, well, we'll determine that when we catch him. Now what did you say he took?"

"Waaal, he took our picnic basket of course. And the cooler full of beer. And the barbecue grill."

"He's probably going to sell the grill for more meth!"

"Well, if he tries to sell the grill, it won't be hard to find him. Not that many places to sell one of those around here. If he tries to steal it. I'll be sure to keep you folks informed if we pick up any leads."

"What's this coming to, where druggies can show up and rob family outings! It's just awful, I tell you!"

"Yes ma'am, it's very sad, but try not to worry. This is a pretty rare occurrence, so I'm sure we'll be able to find the culprit. He's not likely to take his goods back to a cave."

A Question Of Vital Import

Which series of action movies do you think is better: Die Hard, or Lethal Weapon?

My dad picked the Die Hard films. I think Alex picked also picked the Die Hard series.

Probably depends on your feelings towards the later films in both series. I haven't seen the most recent A Good Day to Die Hard, for example. My dad thought it was an all right action film, but Alex thought it was awful. I thought Live Free or Die Hard had some good points, but Timothy Olyphant doesn't do much for me. I don't like Die Hard 2, but I'm a pretty big fan of Die Hard with a Vengeance.

Lethal Weapon 3 isn't a favorite of mine, and I'm largely indifferent to Lethal Weapon 4, but I really like the first two, especially Lethal Weapon 2. I agree with my dad the Joe Pesci was a good add to the cast, and hey, they kill a bunch of racists. Good times. Factoring in I can only discuss 8 of the 9 films, the top 4 is split evenly between the two series, with Die Hard at the top, the Lethal Weapon 2, then Lethal Weapon, then the third Die Hard. But the rest are kind of in a muddle, since there are parts of each I like and don't like. Except Die Hard 2, that's firmly in 8th place. My general feeling is that I'd rate Die Hard a having the higher ceiling, but Lethal Weapon was more stable. Doesn't reach quite the same peaks, but didn't hit the same lows, either.

But that's me. What's your opinion?

Drop Dead Gorgeous

I would not have expected for my dad to recommend we watch a satirical film about beauty pageants, but here we are. Drop Dead Gorgeous is set in the small Minnesota town of Mount Rose, and involves their Miss Teen America something something Pageant. It's filmed as a documentary, though the locals keep thinking the camera crew is from COPS (who do show up at one point, which might have been the part I laughed hardest at).

We get to meet the eight contestants, watch them prepare, meet their parents, see what they hope for in life. It's a varied group, well, as varied as you get in a Minnesota town of 5,000 people, meaning various shades of white folk, though one of the girls is the adopted daughter of Asian immigrants (who ignore their birth daughter in favor of the adopted girl). The two favorites to win are Amber Atkins (Kirsten Dunst), and Becky Leeman (Denise Richards). Amber, because she's a cheerful, friendly, talented, helpful girl that seems like the clear best choice. Becky, because her parents are the wealthiest folks in town and her mother (Kirstie Alley) runs the pageant. That's not really fair to Becky, she has talent, but she's the arrogant rich kid that knows she has all the advantages, but finds that perfectly right and proper, and doesn't bother to hide this.

Which helped me realize that I am really invested in seeing bad (meaning "evil", not "poorly designed") characters get their comeuppance. I get extremely impatient for it, I could not wait for Treat Williams to get his in 1941. If I want to see shitty people get away with treating others like crap, I can just get on the Internet (both in the sense that there will certainly be discussion of such a thing there, and because it happens on the Internet all the time). So it was killing me was Alley stack the deck in Becky's favor, trying to fix things with the judges, with the interview questions, with stupid rules about costumes, and waiting for the chickens to come home to roost. It's nice to watch Amber navigate a minefield that for much of the film she's only vaguely aware of, but it's like watching a Road Runner cartoon where the coyote's traps fail without actually blowing up in his face. Actually, that's not true. I like Wil E. Coyote, and often feel bad for him (the Road Runner is kind of a dick, what with defying the laws of gravity and all).

The humor in the film is dark, kind of poking holes in those idealized visions of life in small-town America, and emphasizing how limited and lousy life in those circumstances can be. Also the different goals and importance people place on things like these pageants, and the difference between what the contestants are told the pageants are about, and what the people in charge are actually getting out of it.

Seven Psychopaths

Seven Psychopaths was written and directed by Martin McDonagh, who previously gave us In Bruges, which I really love. Colin Farrell stars in this film as well, this time as alcoholic writer Marty who has an idea for a screenplay, but can't seem to get it on paper. He wants it to be about seven psychopaths, but wants it to be a peace and life-affirming film. Problem being, he can't come up with any psychopaths. The good news is, his best friend is aspiring actor Billy (played by Sam Rockwell), who earns a living working for Hans (Christopher Walken) in a business where they kidnap people's dogs, then accept the reward money for finding the "lost" dog. Billy has some good ideas for some psychopaths, but he also has some bad ideas, like abducting the dog of the boyfriend of the woman he's sleeping with. As it turns out, said dog owner (played by Woody Harrelson), is a bit of a psychopath himself. So things rapidly spiral out of control for Marty, as his life becomes at least some version of the film he wanted to write.

I'm not sure any of the seven (really six) psychopaths are actually psychopaths. I thought that was marked by an inability to feel empathy. Which doesn't really seem to be the case. These folks are selfish to varying degrees, and are willing to kill, but they don't seem entirely indifferent to everyone's suffering. Maybe that's part of the point. There's this exchange at the end:

Marty: Friends don't make their friends die, Hans.
Hans: Psychopathic friends do. You're the one thought psychopaths were so interesting, but they're kind of tiresome after awhile, don't you think?

Marty had actually come up with one psychopath on his own, a Vietnamese fellow whose family was killed at the My Lai Massacre and was out to get all the American soldiers present, but couldn't figure out how to incorporate his idea for peace and love into that story (though Hans had an interesting idea). Marty had claimed he wanted the guy to be a Buddhist of sorts, because he was tired of all these gun-toting, kill lots of people psychos you saw in movies. Except that's sort of what he finds himself surrounded with. So I don't know if its supposed to be a comment on his misunderstanding of what psychopathy is, or a point that just because someone kills a lot of people, it doesn't mean they can't have peace and love in their hearts. That he's viewing things through too much of a dichotomy, if you do X, you can't feel Y. But all these "psychos" keep proving that's wrong.

There's something sort of similar where Hans points out that Marty writes female characters poorly, when he writes them at all, and that's reflected in the film itself. There aren't a lot of women in the movie, and they don't get much to do or say, we never really see what they think of what's going on. Outside of Myra, and even she exits the story fairly early. The problem there is that while I think the movie sort of takes apart Marty's misconceptions on psychos, it doesn't really do so for women. Hans tries to revise it a bit, but I'm not sure how well it works. That's something that bears further consideration.

I need to watch it again, clearly. And I'll certainly do that at some point, because I really enjoyed it. I'm not sure it's as funny as In Bruges, and the humor has a different tone. Maybe a little darker, little less absurd in some ways. I still like it a lot, though, and if you liked In Bruges and haven't seen Seven Psychopaths yet, you should definitely watch it.

The Weekend Has Thrown My Sleep Schedule Off Completely

Hope you all had a pleasant weekend. I spent mine visiting with Alex, as is standard for the 4th. We didn't blow anything up this year. Alex was not at his house when I came in, and his phone was dead, so I had to kill a couple hours wandering around town until he did get in touch with me. Then it was time for a surprise visit to a quarry a different friend of his owns, for swimming, and more sun than was probably advisable. He had a gig, so that's how we spent the evening and the early morning hours. There was supposed to be a eg in the middle of the dance floor, but they changed their mind about that. Which might explain why it was such a well-behaved crowd. I've never seen the bouncers have it so easy getting people to leave at the end of the night. It was nice, I got a couple of decent photos (including one where his attempt to look cool is likely undercut by my throwing a thumbs up next to him like a goober), though the lighting in the club makes it hard to find the right balance. No flash makes everything too dark, but the flash washes out all the lasers and smoke machines.

Saturday was pretty slow. Hung at one of his friend's houses and watched movies. I'm gonna save Seven Psychopaths for tomorrow, but what the heck, we can discuss Spielberg's 1941, which I'd never seen. Is there a term for movies with lots of disparate threads that eventually tie together in implausible fashion? That's kind of what 1941 is. All the characters just happen to come together in the same place at the same time, even though they were scattered all over California. Everyone's in a panic after Pearl Harbor, so there's a crazy base commander in the desert seeing Japanese forces everywhere, John Belushi is flying a P-40 chasing Zeros that don't exist. There is a Japanese sub off the coast, commanded by Toshiro Mifune, with a German officer in tow, completely lost and incapable of even outsmarting Slim Pickens. There's a family with an artillery piece on their lawn, with a daughter dating a guy who hasn't enlisted, and they both want to win a dance contest, but Treat Williams is playing a jerkass enlisted man who won't take "No" for an answer. He could have gotten run over by Dan Ackroyd's tank and I would have thought he deserved more pain. What a tool. It was an OK film, Belushi was pretty funny, but it went too long. It took them forever to finish up the submarine plotline.

Sunday was a little more running around, though not until after 3 p.m., since it took Alex that long to wake up. We went to a short-notice birthday party where the birthday boy almost didn't show up, and we never did get around to cutting the cake. We also tried to playing Cards Against Humanity version of Apples to Apples, but geez, I hate playing games with drunk people. They aren't paying attention, they keep forgetting to grab a new card after they set one down, it's a mess. Plus, the only cards that ever win are the filthy ones, and frankly, there aren't that many funny ones. Complaints about a lack of good cards were frequent. Apples to Apples is better in its basic version. But there was a lot of good music at the party, and some nice fish.

I really wanted a piece of that cake, though.

Invisible Man 1.15 - Ghost of a Chance

Plot: Darien barges into the Official's office to find him sparring with that CIA guy from two weeks ago. Fawkes is told to leave, but instead goes invisible and watches the conversation. Agent Miller wants that invisible agent, and this time, he's got the President on his side. So the Official is up the creek, but this does give us a good moment with Fawkes becoming visible right in front of Miller, who nearly has a heart attack. Once he's recovered, we learn that Darien is needed to help convince/scare the Prime Minister of Santa Ruego to vote against his country deploying a biological weapon as a defense of their border. It isn't aimed at the U.S. mind you, but with just a few keystrokes it could be, we are told by a smarmy guy with slicked back hair talking to an entirely different group of people about the same subject. This group wants the weapon approved, and they will be sending someone to make sure it happens.

So Fawkes, Hobbes, and Claire travel to Santa Ruego, but the U.S. Ambassador is very displeased to see Hobbes. Something to do with the Ambassador's daughter. However, they go to see the P.M. Arias anyway, and Hobbes gives a good spiel about an economic aid package the U.S. will provide if only the P.M. votes against the weapon. But Arias observes a gust of wind blowing through the curtains at a critical moment, as says no dice. He's very superstitious, which is why Fawkes is here. He's to pose as the ghost of a Marine gunnery sergeant who was killed when Arias' father attacked the embassy years ago while he was overthrowing the previous fascist regime. Darien's first attempt involves floating candlesticks and making his eyes visible, so that they appear to float before Arias.

It still doesn't work, because that other agent is about, and she somehow drowned a man in an empty hallway the night before. So Arias is convinced it is the work of the fabled La Llorna, Destroyer of Life, Woman who Wails, and that she wants him to hold firm on protecting his country's borders. Not sure how he figures that, but I'm not sure why he interpreted a gust of wind as a sign to hold firm against U.S. entreaties. Anyway, Darien will have to go back, and interrupts Arias during a massage. Ghosts, man, what a bunch of jerks. Before he can start scaring Arias, the Prime Minister sees some wet footprints and follows them to the pool, where a woman surprises him, tells him to protect their country, then drags him into the pool to make the point. Somehow she vanishes as Arias climbs out screaming for his guards. For the record, Darien stood there and watched, debating whether to get involved, I guess for fear of blowing his cover. Nice work, action hero.

It doesn't amtter anyway, but La Llorna visits Darien in his room that night and starts making out with him. She uses the kissing as an opportunity to spray water down his throat, but Fawkes is able to fend her off. They talk a bit, flirt a bit, she leaves. He tells the Keeper and Hobbes about it, but there's little they can do. There's only one night left before the vote, and Fawkes needs to get Arias going their way. So it's off to the mansion, but La Llorna is already there, drowning Arias. Fawkes fights her off, and ultimately forces her retreat, but Hobbes is unable to capture her. Anyway, Arias votes to scrap the BioX weapon, so the plan was a success. As they prepare to leave, Darien spots her across the road, they talk, flirt, make threats, offer warnings, kiss a little, then Hobbes shows up and ruins the mood, so she departs. Back to wherever she came from, to be chewed out by Pat Riley Jr. there for failing. But she assures them she can handle the Agency if it interferes in the future.

OH, if you were wondering. The reason the Ambassador hates Hobbes, according to Hobbes, is that when he worked at the embassy 15 years earlier, he was patrolling one night and heard a noise, entered the bedroom of the Ambassador's 19-year old daughter, Rachel, and found her laying on the bed naked. He tried to depart, heard someone coming down the hall, ducked back inside, pleading with her to put some clothes on. But she liked to flirt with him, so she sat there, playing with her hair. The person coming down the hall was the Ambassador, who barged in and found them. This is Hobbes' version, as related to the Keeper.

Quote of the Episode: Darien - 'I don't know. I guess it was just a freak thing.'

The "oh crap" count: 3 (23 overall).

Who's getting quoted this week? The English proverb about trying to lock the barn after the horse is gone. George Bernard Shaw, who said his way of joking is to tell the truth, because it's the funniest joke in the world. A Burmese proverb that blind men aren't afraid of ghosts. And Oscar Wilde, who thinks it takes courage to give in to temptation.

Times Fawkes Goes Quicksilver Mad: 0 (6 overall).

No car incidents, and no change in their department.

Other: Claire certainly seemed disappointed that Hobbes insisted he would never fish off the company pier. Tell him how you feel, Keep, maybe he'll change his mind. On second thought, that'll stoke his ego, and that's when he becomes insufferable.

As it stands, I have no idea whether to believe Bobby's story. I'd laugh at the beautiful young girl flirting with him, but we've seen his ex-wife, and seen how the ladies flock to him at the club where he claims to be a textiles magnate, and when he was hanging out with models last week. He has a knack for it. Beyond that, though, why would the Ambassador barge into his daughter's room like that? Not very diplomatic. Why would Bobby be worried if someone saw him leave her room? Presumably his patrolling would be a normal occurrence. He explains he heard a noise and went to investigate, and maybe says she had knocked a book off her beside table. Things don't quite add up, but the Bobby we've seen does seem to have principles and integrity, so if he says he would never date someone he worked with (or for), then I feel like I should believe that. Of course, we could follow the Man of Steel theory, stating Hobbes must try once, before he can decide never to do so again.

But that would be stupid.

Do ambassadors drive their own vehicles when they visit foreign leaders. Because I'm pretty sure Hallywell got into the driver's seat of that SUV when they first left Arias' place.

I was sure the fact Fawkes didn't know Spanish was going to be an issue. How do you play a ghost that scares a man in a primarily Spanish-speaking country? Answer: Play the ghost of a guy who spoke English. I like the fact that Fawkes didn't change his voice at all, yet Arias did not recognize it even though he spoke with Darien that day, on the exact same subject the ghost is approaching him about. This is either a comment on how superstitions and irrational fears blind people to other answers, or it's a joke about how all English-speaking Americans sound alike to Arias. Although, in a world where people can design invisible men and women who can seemingly become water, being afraid of g-g-g-ghosts doesn't seem too irrational.

I enjoy that the Official uses any inquiry into his invisible man as an excuse for extended sketches with Eberts. This week it was, 'Eberts! Get this invisible man in here! But sir, I don't know what he looks like.' Part of what makes me enjoy it so much is that he clearly enjoys it so much.

OK, I've danced around it, but we have to talk about the problematic aspect of this episode. The U.S. government decides it is acceptable to scare the crap out of a foreign leader for its own benefits. Sure, compared to some of the shit the U.S. has actually pulled over the decades, it's fairly small potatoes, but it makes me think of that quote from Kissinger in that book I read about the fall of the Allende government in Chile. Something to the effect of, if they don't use democracy properly, we don't have to honor it. "Properly", in that context, meaning doing what's in the United States' best interests, whether or not it is in Chile's. I mean, I'm glad Santa Ruego isn't going to be setting up a biological weapons defense, but that's a general concern about biological weapons, rather than a concern that oh, someone will hijack them and use them against the U.S. It makes Santa Ruego look like a country not capable of running itself, so the United States has to step in to guide them to the right choice. Except that can't be done by simply discussing why the biological weapons are dangerous, perhaps in terms of retaliation or escalation from the country Arias is actually concerned about. No, it has to be by turning their Prime Minister into Scooby-Doo.

Better than assassinating him, I suppose.

Favorite Marvel Characters #6 - Arcade

Oh, if only I had gotten here a couple of months sooner, he'd still be alive to enjoy this honor.

Character: Arcade

Creators: John Byrne and Chris Claremont

First appearance: Marvel Team-Up #65

First encounter: I owned Marvel Tales #201, a reprint from Marvel Team-Up of Spidey and Captain Britain meeting/fighting, then being captured at the end, but I'm not sure Arcade actually shows up until the next issue, which I didn't get for many years. It's probably either X-Men Classic #50, which is a reprint of Uncanny X-Men #146, or it was that black-and-white reprint of his first run-in with the X-Men (from issues #122-124) I bought at the school book fair. You might have seen those, they don't reprint the story as it was, with the panel layouts and such. Rather they stagger three or four panels on each page, so there's no real flow, but you still get the story, at least.

Definitive writer: Chris Claremont

Definitive artist: Dave Cockrum.

Favorite moment or story: Almost any Arcade story is a good one, as long as there are deathtraps and he's having a good time. But I think my single favorite moment is from Uncanny X-Men #146. Arcade had been captured by Dr. Doom, and so Ms. Locke has abducted some of the X-Men's loved ones to force them to rescue him. They fail miserably. Even as the X-Men struggle to escape from the traps Doom's set them in to test them, and Arcade's chances of survival drop, he's unperturbed. So much so, he casually strikes a match off Doom's armor to light one of Doom's high-quality cigars. I just love the cheek it takes to do that.

Why I like him: 'Any fool can kill, ladies. I wanted to do it with style.'

That quote from Arcade always sticks with me. Normally I'm not a big fan of villains who just kill, your Carnages, your more recent Joker, whoever else. But with Arcade, it isn't about the body count, which is good, because he usually fails to kill his targets. It's the way he tries that's fun.  He's an opportunity for writers and artists to throw any crazy thing they can conceive of at the hero. Giant pinball machines, twisted funhouse mirror versions of the heroes, cartoon critters, whatever has a sense of twisted whimsy.

It's been noted in comics recently that Arcade does have a terrible track record of actually killing his targets, but I like that it rarely bothers him. Like he told the X-Men about his first run-in with Spidey and Captain Britain, they beat him on his home court, and he loved every minute of it. They made narrow escapes, had to rescue loved ones in peril, and ultimately survived. It was great fun, for Arcade and the reader. He's a carnival barker, in look and demeanor, and while that can mean the game is rigged in his favor, if you beat him, he'll simply tip his cap to you.

I said it once before, but I've always thought this approach put Arcade a step ahead of all the other bad guys. He's the bad guy who almost understands he's in a story. He doesn't have a persecution complex, isn't deluding himself that he's the good guy, and those darn heroes are the bad guys for stopping him from getting what he wants. He knows he's a bad guy, and the nature of the story is the bad guy loses, in theory in a manner entertaining to the audience. He doesn't care about wins and losses, the important thing to him is to be entertained, which in theory will also entertain the reader. I like heroes who enjoy being heroes, and I guess I enjoy bad guys who actually enjoy being the bad guy.

Which gives him an odd sense of sportsmanship. When he first fought the X-Men, Nightcrawler ultimately reached Arcade's command room and started wrecking it up before he was captured, which enabled the rest of the team to turn the tide. Arcade didn't kill him, rather he returned him to the team unharmed, albeit in a humiliating fashion. If Arcade goes after a hero a second time, it's not out of revenge per se, the way Norman Osborn would attack Spider-Man again, trying to kill him for past "insults". It's that they proved to be good competition, and Arcade would like to see if he can get them again. Like your friend challenging you to a rematch on a board game. I mean yes, Arcade is trying to kill them, but there's no heat or anger there.

Frankly, if people are worried about Arcade looking like an incompetent hitman, reconfigure it a bit. One thing Arcade has proven consistently excellent at is kidnapping heroes. He's aces when it comes to ambushing them to move them to Murderworld. You could hire Arcade to abduct the heroes, so they're out of the way while you pull some other job. If he manages to kill them, great. If he doesn't, well he kept them busy while you did whatever it is you had planned.

Because he really is very adept. Not just at capturing heroes, but putting them through the wringer. He turned Colossus around in no time flat, and he always seems to know the screws to turn. He finds loved ones to use, or he makes facsimiles of them to throw the heroes off their games. While the X-Men were trying to rescue Doom, Banshee, Havok, Polaris, and Iceman were trying to rescue the loved ones from Murderworld. That didn't go terribly well at first, and a robot of Illyana nearly distracted Polaris long enough for her to fall prey to a carousel. He and Nightmare were able to come up with some pretty nasty stuff to throw at Deadpool and Hercules in that issue of Deadpool Team-Up. For Herc it was all his dead kids, and for Wade, it was the voices in his head given a hulking, monstrous, resentful form. Nightmare's powers might have been helping it come to fruition, but I think it was Arcade that helped figure out what weaknesses to attack.

I'm not sure why he's so good at spotting those weaknesses and hammering them. I mean, using someone's sibling or love interest as a lever against them, OK, that's not hard to figure out. But the bit where he could play on Colossus' fears that he betrayed his people, that was pretty good. Maybe because he's kind of divorced from those sorts of relationships. He's observing the whole thing from the outside, so it's easy to see what people in the midst of it don't. He killed his father when Dad cut off his allowance. The person closest to him is his Girl Friday, whether it's Ms. Locke or the new lady, Ms. Coriander. But a major part of their job description is to try and kill him. Because he generally doesn't care whether he lives or not, but the making someone earn his death is a challenge, and that, he enjoys. I'm still not happy Avengers Arena decided Arcade actually cares about losing all the time (or that he cares that crapass villains like Constrictor shit-talk him), but Hopeless definitely got Arcade's ability to see the fault lines in people and trigger them.

When Mightygodking was doing his initial burst of "I should Write Dr. Strange" posts, he did one about Dracula, and a person named Patrick C. noted in the comments the great thing about Marvel Dracula was he could work as an antagonist for literally any hero, and it would be great. I think Arcade is the same way. Sure, you can have him go after Spider-Man or the X-Men again. It's especially easy with the X-Men, because there are so many, he could target a different bunch every time and keep busy for months.

But it doesn't have to be limited to that. Send Arcade after Captain America. Maybe beat down Cap with waves of nostalgia for childhood days spent on Coney Island with his mother. Then Cap gets up and shatters all the funhouse mirrors with one shield throw. Send him after the Hulk, let the Hulk tear Murderworld down around their ears. It's fine, he'll kill some normal schlubs (my theory is he can still make plenty of money killing normal people, because there are plenty of people out there who would hate a non-super-hero enough to want them killed in the horribly inventive manners Arcade employs), or occupy some other heroes' attentions for quick cash and just rebuild it. Have Arcade turn the Baxter Building into a Murderworld and pit the FF against it. Have him hire the Heroes for Hire and then test his new designs against them. There is almost no hero you can't have fun throwing Arcade at.

Bite The Bullet

I'm on vacation! I wasn't on vacation the last two days, but I was tired, irritable, and preoccupied, thus no post. But I'm at my father's for the moment, before I go spend the 4th with Alex, so I can toss a quick post out.

We did watch Red River last night, but it turns out I've already seen parts of that before. Just didn't know what I was watching then. It's one of those roles for John Wayne where they take that tendency in his movies for him to be steadfast in his certainty he's right, and deal with what happens when he isn't right, or he takes it too far. He gets blinders on, a complete refusal to consider any viewpoints or ideas but his own, and anyone who challenges or disagrees with him has to be dealt with. Because in most of his films, those are bad guys. Here, they're just his trail hands who think there's a better way to do it.

I hadn't seen Bite the Bullet previously, and I missed the first part of it, so they were already into the long, newspaper-sponsored horse race. Gene Hackman's rocking that mustache I've seen him sporting in a lot of his '70s movies, and he's in it, just to spite a wealthy fellow he delivered a horse to slightly behind schedule. The wealthy jerk is sponsoring some champion rider, and worried it would cost him the race, so he treated Hackman poorly, and now he has to worry about his poor employee relations costing him this big race. James Coburn plays an old friend of Hackman's who entered the race and bet on himself to win. Ben Johnson plays an old cowhand in it for the glory. Candice Bergen is a former lady of the evening, who is in the race for reasons unclear.

There's an English jockey, and a snot-nosed, loudmouth kid with visions of glory and no respect for anyone, because he thinks that's how men act. So his large quantity of hot air keeps pissing Hackman off. Which leads to a scene where the kid rides his horse to death in the desert, and Hackman demonstrates his displeasure. The lead up is shot kind of interestingly, as Coburn's character rides alongside, then passes the kid. The kid's shot in slow-mo, while Coburn's sped up, so from the kid's perspective, he's being passed effortlessly, even as his whips his horse relentlessly, with the horse's labored breathing serving as the background noise for the whole sequence, getting louder and louder. The downside is you know how it's going to end, and it grows painful watching that horse struggle. On the other hand, it's very satisfying watching Hackman chase the kid back and forth in the desert, smacking him with the reins as he rides past. I did feel bad for Hackman's horse, though. It was hot out there, he could have just shot the kid in the leg, hopped off, and kicked the crap out of him, while the horse takes a breather.

It's an interesting movie, not great. But all the characters get some time, the way the race is shot tries to emphasize each character's different approach and personality. The other thing is the sheer size of the countryside. People may ride together for a time, but frequently they're scattered allover, trying to find the route that best suits them. It's a nice shorthand characterization. The ending came oddly abruptly, though. I'm not sure if the version we were watching got cut up or what. It was some scenic shots of some massive mountains and then. . . they're at the finish line at a rail stop. Maybe they figured we'd seen enough shots of the riders struggling through the wilderness.

The Metro Is Still The Jumpinest Joint In The World

I reviewed Metro 2033 early in May, as it was the precursor to Metro: Last Light. Well since then, I started Last Light and finished that late last week. If you're waiting to buy the game, and you don't want plot spoilers, come back when that's no longer an issue for you. There's gonna be plot spoilers.

It's the same universe as the earlier game, about a year further on. The game's plot is predicated on Artyom choosing to wipe out the Dark Ones at the end of Metro 2033. Which is the ending I got when I played through. I wasn't aiming for that one, but it worked out that way, and the Dark Ones tried to kill me often enough and in sufficiently annoying ways that I didn't feel bad about it.. So we're a year on from that, Artyom is a full-fledged Ranger, but is troubled by nightmares about the Dark Ones. On cue, spiritual fellow Khan, reports that he has seen a Dark One moving about. He believes it can save humanity, but Artyom is ordered out to kill it. That doesn't go well, and he soon learns there's much more to concerned about. The Reds in the Metro have built a massive army, and gotten their hands on a biological weapon. The rest of the factions are too divided to really do much, and while they may be badasses, there are only about 100 Rangers, so they're a little out-gunned.

The gameplay is still much the same, but I think they made the game a little easier. Sneaking around is certainly easier, because Artyom carries a watch that lights up when you aren't hidden in shadows. You'd still have to be wary of guys with headlamps, but at least you can tell if you're in a safe place to start. The game also gives you the option to knock someone out if you can sneak up on them, rather than having to either avoid them or kill them.The upshot to these alterations is that I didn't run low on ammo as often, because things didn't devolve to gun battles as much. So I never dipped into my supply of military grade ammo for shooting purposes, which left me free to buy stuff with it.

They're also added customization of weapons, though you have to reach a settlement where there's someone who can do that for you. I ended up grabbing three different guns early, and just holding on to them, upgrading and modifying as I saw fit.

The story was, not terribly engaging to me. Or maybe I wasn't interested in the things they wanted me to be. There's a romantic subplot weakly shoehorned in there I didn't care about. Artyom eventually finds the Dark One and starts looking after it, which really cramped my style. It's not an escort mission - the kid's better at staying out of trouble than Artyom is - but I felt myself making different decisions in order to make a good example. Well, one different decision.  I really didn't care about the impending war, or about Artyom trying to make up for how the first game ended. Like I said, I didn't feel terribly bad about my decision. There's a traitor in the Rangers that we eventually confront, but I didn't much care about him either.

If I'd spent more time with specific Rangers, to the point I cared about them, that might have been different, but I spent most of the early part of the game with Pavel. Through those levels, Pavel saves my life a few times, and I save his. He talks about us being like Musketeers. Then it turns out he's a loyal Communist, and he helped me so we could get to the Red's settlement, where I could be drugged and interrogated. From that point on, all I wanted was to catch Pavel and. . . well, I wasn't sure whether I'd kill him or not, but I wanted the opportunity to make the decision. In much the same way that trying to reach Polis took of over half of Metro 2033, trying to force that final confrontation with Pavel took a good 60% of Metro: Last Light. But when I finally had him, the little Dark One was there, so I was merciful. And as it turned out, for no good reason. I still didn't get the nicer ending. I'm gonna have to replay that level just to watch Pavel die.

What? I hate characters who betray friends more than I hate characters who cheat on their significant others, and I hate philanderers a lot.

The little Dark One does bring a different perspective to things. He can apparently see emotional states, and transmit that to Artyom, so you can sometimes see when the beings around you are going to be hostile. Which is handy because it means if you leave them alone, they'll do the same for you. It sheds some light on a few occasions from the first game that I remember being puzzled about.

The game adds a few new monsters to contend with, mostly large arthropods of various types. Yeesh, giant bugs. Why does it always have to be giant bugs? They continue to play with the idea that this world has some strange new things in it now, ones that people really don't understand. Well, except Khan. He seems to understand a lot. Kind of annoying actually, but heck, I like Khan. He's a good fellow, watches your back when he's around. The surface world is still the most terrifying, in large part because it's killing you even when nothing's happening. You need a gas mask every moment, but the filters don't seem to last long, so there's a constant tension of whether you can get off the surface before you run out. This does make me less-inclined to snoop around, though, and I prefer to switch back and forth more frequently. The claustrophobia of the tunnels is kind of a relief compared to the surface. At least in the tunnels, the enemies can only come from so many directions, and if you find a safe place, you can stay there as long as you like, without having to worry about a slow death by asphyxiation.

I'm not a big fan of the spots in the game where you have to wait for a boat or lift, and hold off wave after wave of enemies in the meantime. Those are just frustrating because it feels very contrived. Especially in a world where you know these creatures are attracted to sound, why make conveyances that make a buttload of noise when you try to use them? All I can figure is the people responsible are less concerned about endangering people by alerting monsters, and more concerned with making sure they know if someone's coming, in case they're hostile. Which sounds pretty accurate for people.