What I Bought 12/3/2022 - Part 1

Felt so exhausted yesterday. Thought I slept well, woke up and was immediately disabused of that notion. Usually takes until the back half of the work week to feel like that. Don't know if it's the lack of sunlight setting in, workload, or some other shit. At this stage, being turned into a vampire or even a locust creature might be an improvement. Not sure about being dead at the bottom of a cliff in Scotland, though.

Locust: Ballad of Men #4, by Massimo Rosi (writer), Alex Nieto (artist), Mattia Gentili (letterer) - Little did they know, that ship was actual the ghost of the ship from Jaws.

The locusts swarm out of the fires of NYC and attack the camp of the people holding Max. Max wisely uses this opportunity to take off, and Alice, the woman he found a couple of issues ago guides him into Ford's base before turning into a locust herself and attacking Ford's followers. Then the rest of the locusts attack the base as well, to the apparent shock of Ford and his guys.

Max finds Stella, just as Ford, well on his way to fully transforming, finds Max. They fight, with Max taking some damage, although the colors are so murky it's not always easy to see, while Ford rambles about being punished by God for his sins. Max and Stella make it out, make it north, but Stella is slowly changing as well. Max keeps her with him right to the end, and the tones do lighten up a bit, or at least they're outside during daytime, so everything is tinged grey-blue instead black.

It's a sad ending, but the way Rosi writes most of the characters, it feels like what they deserve. Ford is sure that he's changing because he's failed to carry out God's will, but of course, it's other people who have to die to fix things. Rosa and her group, having lost a lot of people to the locust attack, decides the best thing to do is go attack Ford's base and kill them all. Maybe that's the right call, because they don't know Max killed Ford, and so they expect Ford will keep hunting them, but it reeks of self-destruction. Your numbers are already reduced, so go pick another fight and get more of your people killed.

In contrast, Max has never been focused on killing. He's certainly killed, but his goal was always to get to safety with a person her cared about. First his mother, then Stella. When Ford's dead, and Stella's with Max, he leaves. There are a bunch of guy in creepy red Klan hoods standing there, and he doesn't take revenge, doesn't even harm them (I'm less clear on why they let he and Stella go, however). If one were inclined to think there was a purposeful mind behind the transformations, that might be the difference. Although it wouldn't explain why Stella changed, so maybe Max has just been lucky somehow. He isn't thinking he can stop anything, he's just trying to do something good for a kid while he has the chance.

She Bites #2, by Hedwig Hale (writer), Alberto Hernandez R. (artist), Dave Lanphear (letterer) - Where they're going, they don't need helmets. Because why would you have a helmet at the mall?

Brenda, convinced by the lure of $350/hour to babysit a century-and-a-half old vampire, takes Elsie to the mall. Where they explore such '90s things as CDs and Hot Topic (or a slightly altered equivalent). Brenda keeps trying to make conversation, seemingly very interested in Elsie and her life, but is repeatedly rebuffed. Brenda does share her plan to use the money from this gig to fly to Scotland and throw herself off a cliff, and Elsie doesn't entirely crap on the notion.

Brenda has a couple of run-ins with a long-running bully, and the second time around, takes Elsie's advice and tells her off. That whole sequence also explains at least part of why Brenda is depressed. It's also the only scene where Hernandez draws Brenda in a somewhat aggressive posture. She walks away with her back straight (and middle finger extended), and when she's yelling, she's leaning in and jabbing her finger at Amber. Throughout the rest of the issue, Brenda's hunched over, like she's waiting to be hit. Even when she's trying to connect with Elsie in the music store, she has a wary, beaten-down posture. 

Amber is angry enough to follow her into the changing room and start shouting threats, so Elsie kills her. Both issues now have ended with Elsie in front of a mirror, so it appears someone is interacting with nothing. It was Brenda shaking her hand in issue 1, and it's Amber's corpse being held up by Elsie here. Although Elsie does appear in photographs, as they use one of those mall photo booths during their fun montage.

I feel like some of Elsie's cursing is over-the-top, like Hale really likes the idea of having what appears to be a child call people twats, but Hale also makes it clear Elsie likes getting a reaction. So part of it meant to be performative on her part. I do enjoy some of her interactions with Brenda, the sarcastic comments that seem playful. Hernandez can show with posture and expressions when Elsie is actually angry or annoyed, so it's clear when she's just messing with Brenda and when she isn't.

I'm curious to see how this is going to end. It's hard for me to picture Brenda's troubles being solved by this one night with Elsie, but it doesn't feel like a story that will end with them parting ways so Brenda can buy that plane ticket to Scotland, either.

Terry and the Pirates - Julian F. Thompson

When her parents decide she should attend a boarding school, Terry decides it's time to spread her wings and stows away on the yacht of a local wealthy guy she knows is set to go on a long journey. Except when she wakes up, she finds his son Mick stole the yacht in an attempt to make his father actually notice his existence. When that fails, they decide to keep sailing south, the ship survives a tropical storm, and Terry finds herself alone on-board when pirates show up.

A very motley bunch of pirates, to be sure, but still pirates. The last two-thirds of the book are Terry, first alone and later with Mick, trying to devise away to escape before she gets murdered. Once Mick is around, Terry's also trying to navigate and understand exactly what she's starting to feel about him. Thompson tries to capture that mindset of being in one's late teens, when you know more than you did when you were younger, and as a result feel more mature and sure of yourself, but there's still a lot you miss. Terry's big plan was to make it to a Caribbean island, then work at a Banana Republic store. Possibly she would find a mute boy washed up on-shore and they could become. . .something.

You can see the gaps in this plan. Likewise, Terry knows enough to put thought into what she should wear around the pirates, in terms of how they perceive her - someone well-to-do, someone wretched and desperate - but doesn't quite grasp what the Dragon Lady is inferring when Terry refers to the wealthy guy as "Daddy".

There are a few elements of the absurd, beyond a pirate crew of 5 living on an otherwise uninhabited island. The Dragon Lady's pet is a full-grown Komodo dragon named Bubba. There's a buried treasure the pirates are searching for on the island, and most curiously, Mick had another personality, a marquis from fifteenth century France who was friends with Joan of Arc. The two are on good terms, as there are conversations that are basically three people, Terry, Mick, and the marquis, the latter two switching control back and forth.

There's no explanation given, beyond Mick claiming the marquis is a past life. Although this is one brief utterance by Mick that makes me think the whole thing is an act he puts on, where he comments, basically, "horny boys will say anything." But I don't know if that's what the marquis is, something Mick devised to impress Terry, who he'd never met. And it wouldn't explain how he makes his stutter go away entirely when he's the marquis.

The book moves very quickly. There are only a couple of times Thompson slows down to let something sink in. Usually when Terry feels most alone, and so presumably when she most wants reassurance or some sort of escape. Otherwise, the plot rolls along and there's a near constant-string of new developments and adjustments to her and Mick's plans as new things come to light. It's a light, pleasant read.

'The awkwardness she'd seen when he was trying to get his pants on was replaced by an almost monkeylike agility as he danced from here to there, up onto the foredeck and back again. Terry wondered, fleetingly, if she was looking at the downside of human evolution; that men were graceful only with their clothes on nowadays.'

Steel Fist Beatdown

So what? That don't make him special.

The first volume of Steel Fist Riku establishes that Riku's a teenage girl, living with her sensei/adoptive father, Rokuhara. Rokuhara was once a powerful martial artist working for a local big shot, and has trained Riku in his style, but Riku also has the ability to turn her left arm like unto a thing of, er, steel. I'm not sure if it's just coated in metal, or if it's metal inside and out, but it's a thing she can do.

While Riku and Roku ostensibly run a movie star photo shop (where you buy pics of your favorite movie stars), they're both willing to be "troubleshooters" for a price, and that's where series creator Jyutaroh Nishino makes a lot of the action happen. In the first chapter, Riku agrees to help the local butcher when loan sharks try to make him pay more than he agreed. In the last two chapters, she helps locate a mother's missing son, then helps him get free of a gang he regrets joining.

Both stories involve a lot of punching and fighting beastmen, as this world has various "demihumans". Nishino doesn't explain beyond the fact they exist and everyone knows they exist, and they seem capable of living and working with regular humans. Riku considers herself a demihuman, actually. The loan shark's right hand man is a pigman with hair like the tuft on an onion, the gang leader is a tigerman or something, but all his men are regular joes.

Nishino's varies the presentation of the fighting to keep things visually interesting. He may use one panel of two characters exchanging a series of lightning-fast strikes, switch to a close-up on their faces for reaction, then shift to a series of panels each focused on hits actually landing. In among all that, there might be a long-range view panel of one or both characters leaping and flipping about, trying to get position or escape being hit. The fights don't feel static that way, and Nishino doesn't drag them out overly long, preferring to break them up with humor or otherwise lighter scenes.

Riku is a standard shonen protagonist in a lot of ways. Cheerful, a bit hot-tempered. Quick to make friends and come to others' aid. Likes to eat and likes to fight. Following the protag lineage of Goku, like Monkey D. Luffy or Naruto or whoever. The inherited "steel fist" even gives her a mysterious origin. I'm sure there are plenty, but I don't know too many protagonists of shonen manga/anime in that vein who are girls. There are "tomboy" characters, but I'm more used to them being part of an ensemble in one of those Tenchi Muyo-style "harem" series.

There is, as you can guess from the panel up top, a lot of boob humor and references, mostly with regards to Roku, who is roundly mocked by the story, and roundhouse kicked by Riku, for his behavior. Nishino tries to make it fit into the story, as the main plot involves Roku forcing a rematch with an old friend of his from his days working for that big shot, by abducting the daughter of the current boss. We learn Roku lost his chance to lead that army when he lost a fighting tournament to a woman showing a lot of cleavage. Because that's the weakness, complete with the geyser-like nosebleeds, he's been trying to overcome ever since. By watching, as Riku puts it, 'big boob videos everyday.'

When Roku won't turn away from this path, Riku has to fight him. For her, it's as much about learning what she is to Roku, daughter or student. If Roku keeps going, he'll destroy the life they built here, and if he's willing to do that, then how little does he care about her? The fight is maybe 15 pages, but Nishino breaks it up into phases. Initially Riku seems outmatched and Roku's harsh in his assessment of her skill. This forces her to take a certain step she's been dreading, which allows her to fight at her full potential (which Nishino did foreshadow in the flashback to Roku's loss). This produces a brief comedy interlude, but also forces Roku to face his weakness if he's really determined to keep going on this path. Then it's back to fighting until it's done.

I'm not ecstatic about Roku having the same reaction to the girl he raised from a near-infant having noticeable breasts (covered by a shirt) that he does to a full-grown woman wearing a leather catsuit with the zipper halfway down, but Nishino always makes it a problem with Roku, not Riku.

I haven't had the greatest luck with manga I've tried for the first time this year, but Steel Fist Riku was one I really enjoyed.

Sunday Splash Page #247

 

"Wedding Bell Black", in Hitman #50, by Garth Ennis (writer), John McCrea (penciler), Garry Leach (inker), Carla Feeny and Heroic Age (colorists), Patricia Prentice (letterer)

We looked at Tommy Monaghan's origin in Ennis and McCrea's run on The Demon, but today we're looking at his own ongoing series. I'm pretty sure Hitman ran for more issues than every other book starring Bloodlines characters combined, even if it wasn't much of a superhero book. Monaghan supposedly tried to develop a market as a hired killer of super-powered folks, but he spent as much time killing dumbass mob guys in suits as he did fighting demons from Hell or anything like that. 

John McCrea makes it all work. His regular people look like regular people. Saggy chins, big noses, ill-fitting clothes, stupid expressions. People glowering in menace or sneering in contempt. But he can also exaggerate when need be, whether he's drawing a multi-limbed demon from Hell, or a radioactive Santa, or Sixpack dropping a noticeable load in his drawers at the sight of said demon. He can draw dinosaurs and pretentious vampires, conjoined twins where one is a rotting corpse, morbidly obese people being used a bullet shields. Whatever Ennis needs, McCrea's got it covered.

I've not read Preacher, or really much Ennis outside this and his Punisher stuff, but I feel like this is his best, in terms of being able to mix tone. There's the large amounts of violence, which is sometimes played for laughs, and sometimes for horror. McCrea's versatility shines here, as he can do the slapstick aspects of the violence, like "Nightfist" leaping in through a window and being shot to literal pieces by an army of goons. But he can also handle the moments where the violence is meant to be sickening or sad, usually by only hinting at it. When Tommy and Natt find Pat in his bathtub, McCrea never shows us what exactly Johnny Navarone did to Pat. But we see a bathtub full of blood, we see Pat's pale skin and bloodshot eyes, and how quick Natt is to leave when Tommy drains the tub. The fact Tommy considers shooting Pat a mercy.

Ennis and McCrea work in a lot about how guys interact, not only busting each other's chops (especially everyone giving Hacken shit), or how they're constantly finding something to compete over, but also in how their own ideas of what being a man is means they aren't any good at telling each other how they feel, and the things that leaves unsaid. Again, McCrea's very good at making Tommy and the others seem human in the expressions and reactions, whether they're cracking up, swooning over Catwoman, or trying to process grief and anger.

I think one of my favorites, besides the double-page splash above, which is Tommy dealing with loss, comes in issue #36, when Tommy's learned the truth about his parentage, and confronts the man responsible for wiping out his family. Tommy's anger just bubbles off the page in how he's gritting his teeth and jabbing towards the guy (and us) with his finger. Then he shoots the guy, and there's a panel of us looking up and Tommy's distant, just watching. After he shoots him once more, McCrea draws Tommy as a dark outline, the only color the smoke from the gun barrel, as Tommy remarks, 'This is gonna piss me off forever.' That quiet acknowledgement that he hasn't ultimately been able to help or solve anything.

Monaghan's an interesting character. A killer-for-hire, but one with lines he refuses to cross. A guy more than willing to use his X-ray vision to check out a lady, or his telepathy to figure out her favorite food to improve his odds on a date, but also with enough decency to apologize when he fucks up, and to not make fun of his on-again, off-again girlfriend Tiegel when she admits she's virgin. To ultimately tell Tiegel she ought to get away from him, because he's only going to fuck up her life. It's something that gets commented on by a lot of other characters, how confusing they find it that Tommy can be perfectly willing to casually murder people, but even if a lion is threatening his life, he won't kill it, or how carefully he looks after the people he considers "his." Containing multitudes, and all that.

The whole series is Tommy steadily getting himself into bigger and bigger messes, surviving by the skin of his teeth or dumb luck. All the time, the people around him are getting whittled down. They die, or they get the hell out because they see the writing on the wall. Tommy talks about making a big payday and moving to New York, leaving professional killing behind, but it always has the manner of a dream to it. Something he talks about while sitting on the couch staring at the ceiling. Maybe someday, but, with apologies to Creedance, someday never comes. Maybe if Tommy didn't have his rules, he could get away, but he does. So he stays, and every attempt to dig himself out of a hole that started with his first appearance in The Demon Annual, just gets him in deeper. It's a little like GrimJack in that regard, the messes just building on each other and building on each other. Tommy killed his way into this, but he can kill his way out.

It's a book that can have a two-part story titled "Zombie Night at the Gotham Aquarium," and a one-off issue where a hired killer helps out Superman when he's feeling low, and neither issue feels out of place. It's one of my favorite series, period.

Saturday Splash Page #49

 

"Fish Fight," in Untold Tales of Spider-Man '96, by Kurt Busiek (writer), Mike Allred (penciler), Joe Sinnott (inker), Steve Mattson (colorist), Richard Starkings and Comicraft (letterer)

I'm pretty sure this is just an Annual Marvel didn't deign to call that, for whatever reason. The story idea (credited to Paul Dini), is that Spidey is ticked after the Human Torch showed him up again and decides to wind Johnny up by asking Sue Storm on a date. Sue, annoyed by Reed being his neglectful self and Johnny dismissing her grievances about Reed, accepts (to Spidey's complete shock). The date itself is kind of a dud, other than Allred drawing Spidey wearing a bow tie made of webbing. Sue keeps talking about Reed and Namor, leaving Spidey wishing he was out with Betty instead.

Johnny, lacking the smarts to know when to let things go, flies out to the sea and tells Namor that Sue's been abducted by Spider-Man. Namor decides to White Knight and cue a big fight that nearly results in Jonah and Betty getting hurt (and JJJ blaming Spidey.) Namor really ought to have drowned Johnny after that, but at least Spidey gets a last laugh on the Torch.

The highlight of this comic might be the back-up story, which details the difficult life of Pat Olliffe, as Kurt Busiek keeps calling him with ideas about the obscure characters he wants to use, and Olliffe having to scrounge through comic stores all over Pennsylvania to find a comic with the characters to use as a visual reference. It's not a story that I suppose would work today, since you could probably find an image online easily enough, but it does remind me of poking through the phonebook for any comic stores in the area so I could hunt for issues of whatever series I wanted to find. Groping about in blind desperation.

There was another Annual the next year, that introduced a new character named Sundown back in the Silver Age setting. The story continued in that year's Amazing Spider-Man Annual, set in the present day (meaning, 1997) when Sundown is released from prison. Tom Lyle draws both parts of those, which makes for good visual continuity, but Lyle's art doesn't really fit the Silver Age aesthetic of the first part.

Might as well mention the -1 issue here, set before Peter's born, on Richard and Mary Parker's last mission as secret agents, where they have to rescue a certain scruffy Canadian secret agent with odd hair from Baron Strucker. Drawn by John Romita Sr., though, with a back-up feature by Fred Hembeck!

Random Back Issue #97 - Power Man and Iron Fist #59

First time for Power Man and Iron Fist on this feature! We open on Luke and Danny's pictures next to a slumlord's on the front page of the Daily Bugle. Luke is none-too-pleased, pointing out that while he and Danny did work for the guy, they also ended up busting him. Luke figures Jonah Jameson is still peeved at that time he hired Luke to bring in Spidey over Gwen Stacey's death, and Luke ultimately fed him the money. Also, Danny calls the Bugle a 'reputable paper'. Still so naive.

Looking on the bright side, their secretary Jennie figures this will help business, as 'shady firms' will offer them jobs because they worked for this guy. I mean, as long as the check clears before Luke and Danny send them to jail. . .

Colleen Wing shows up, fresh off a job for her and Misty Knight, because Danny's taking them to dinner at some fancy high-rise place and he's gotta get cleaned up. Except as soon as they get to his apartment, Danny's under attack! The fight goes on for a while, Danny reflecting he's gotten sloppy fighting street thugs alongside Luke, right as he loses his footing. I feel like that came up a lot, Danny feeling he was slipping because he wasn't fighting other martial artists very often. Or maybe he just sucks. Colleen rushes to help (without actually drawing her sword), and gets disarmed by - Bob Diamond. Uh, sure.

Bob helpfully explains he was part of the Sons of the Tiger, but because he acted like a macho, jealous prick, he's been keeping his distance lately. He and Danny spar because it's good practice for both of them. Considering Bob dismisses the possibility Colleen could have cut his leg off, and Danny implies he lets Bob win, they both need more training on keeping their own egos in check.

Anyway, fancy dinner. Colleen's kind of spoiling it by worrying about the cost, or more accurately, that Danny doesn't worry about the cost. Danny admits he just likes the view. In the midst of that, a man with very red, very curly hair shows up, wanting to wait for the ambassador of Halwani. The staff are about to throw him out, when Danny comes up because it's someone he met back in his solo book. Someone Misty is not happy to see, because Alan Cavenaugh was a bomber in the I.R.A., and Misty, of course, lost her arm to a bomber, albeit not Alan or anyone from the I.R.A.

Alan, picking up on the vibe from across the room, gets the hell out of there. Danny proceeds to see whether he can jam his foot in his mouth defending Alan before Misty lodges her bionic fist there instead when a bomb goes off. The explosion blocks off the only exit and starts a fire, so Colleen, Danny and Misty have their work cut out trying to keep people from jumping out a 16th story window rather than wait for rescue. Misty's also not loving that the explosion is bringing back memories of losing her arm, so, bad day all around for her.

What's Luke Cage up to? He's losing at poker to his pal D.W. when the report comes over the radio. Luke hustles over and is able to override the controls on the elevator enough to reach everyone, but it won't be able to take them back down. So Luke hefts a big old fountain and dumps it on the fire so they can exit through the floor. Once on the street, Misty immediately accuses Alan (who stuck around and begged Luke to help his friends) of being the bomber. Without reading the next issue to double-check, I'm going to say Alan is not the bomber.

{8th longbox, 90th comic. Power Man and Iron Fist #59, by Jo Duffy (writer), Trevor von Eeden (penciler), Al Gordon (inker), George Roussos (colorist), Diana Albers (letterer)}

Some New Things to Love in February

Not a lot of new things, mind you, and they were confined to a few companies, but there were a few things.

From Red 5, there's Fallen, a six-issue mini-series by Matt Ringel and Henry Ponciano, about an immortal warrior who serves Zeus, acting as a P.I. looking into the murder of a god. I think Ponciano's the cover artist as well, and if so, I like the look of it. Whatnot Publishing has only been in Previews a few months, and seems largely defined by getting well-known artists to do variant covers. Case in point, the solicit for Liquid Kill touts Toni Infante being a new cover artist before it tells you anything about the book or creative team (Max Hoven and Aaron Crow as writers, Gabriel Iumazark as artist). Liquid Kill's concept sounds at least intriguing. A militia of vigilantes searching for their leader fighting some horrible monster. Sounds a bit like Predator, or something along those lines.

The other three were from Scout Comics. Kesel and Hahn have another Impossible Jones one-shot. There's also Deadfellows, by Kody Hamilton and Ramiro Borallo, about a guy stopped from killing himself by a ghost in his apartment, who tries to befriend the ghost. The other book is TC Pescatore and Luciano Cruzado's Junction Jones and the Corduroy Conspiracy. I feel like I've seen other Junction Jones books, but my quick search revealed nothing, so *shrugs*. I don't know if I'll get either of the latter two books, but they're at least Maybes.

There's only one thing out of the rest of my books that's ending in February, and that's Sgt. Rock vs. the Army of the Dead. The cover suggests Rock's fighting amped-up, undead Hitler. Aw yeah, punch his jaw off like the Black Panther did to the Red Skull that one time!

Everything else is still in progress. Tiger Division will be on its penultimate issue, while the Mary Jane and Black Cat mini-series is up to issue 3, even as Dark Web appears to be wrapping up. The Wasp and Northern Guard mini-series will both be on issue 2, if I buy either one. Nature's Labyrinth is up to issue 4, and Grit N Gears is up to issue 3, although I'd swear the length of the mini-series increases with every month. It was 6 issues last month, now it's up to 7. Is this some sort of bait and switch, or is the story getting away from the creative team?

Deadpool and Fantastic Four are on issue 4, and it at least appears Ryan North is going to explain the smoking crater that made everyone hate the FF. Better than Zeb Wells dragging that shit out, what 15 issues so far, on Amazing Spider-Man? Moon Knight is all the way up to issue 20, while Immortal Sergeant and Darkwing Duck would both be on their second issues.

Overall, it's potentially a busy first couple of months, assuming these books ship on time, but there's at least 4 or 5 of these I might skip, and I haven't seen the first issue of Nature's Labyrinth of Grit N Gears to judge them on. Deadpool's not entirely safe, either. So it's in flux.

Black Friday (2021)

Look, it's a movie about, among other actors, Bruce Campbell and Michael Jai White as employees in a big toy store on Thanksgiving during an apocalypse. I'm not made of stone!

The movie takes a few minutes at the start to outline the broad strokes of a few of employees. The nervous guy in his early 20s with a crappy family who is germophobic. The divorced dad in his 40s that acts like he's 20. The useless manager (Campbell) and his kiss-ass assistant manager. It's not much, but it's enough to set up relationships and conflicts to come into play when things go wrong.

Which happens quickly. The movie's only 85 minutes, they don't have time to waste People waiting to get in already look sick, but the employees are used to that on holiday sales. But then someone attacks the germophobe and he dumps one of those 12-foot high cages they store the big bouncy balls in on them and things go south. The employees are in disarray, but the movie avoids too high of an initial body count by having the affected be up to something rather than rampaging and killing. It's not clear what or why, but none of these characters are the sort that would be able to figure that out.

All of that allows for the cast to try different approaches. Escape, then lockdown, then a different escape. Each of these splits the characters up into different groups, which allows them to bounce off each other in different ways, highlight their personality traits and how they act as the pressure increases. So it has elements of a zombie horror movie, in that the unaffected are sometimes the biggest threat to each other. Who starts pointing fingers, who turns coward, who does something shitty and tries to justify it after the fact?

It's also a bit of a comedy, in a Sam Raimi, Ash vs. Evil Dead sense (I'm the font Amazon Prime uses for the title on the menu screen is the same as Ash vs. Evil Dead). The characters sit around at one point, discussing how long they've worked at "We Luv Toys" and what the job means to them. They're alternately sad and funny, although mostly sad. People trapped in more than one sense.

The violence certainly has the Raimi excess to it. The affected gradually turning more horrible-looking, weird jaws and pointed teeth. Lots of corn syrup blood and people defending themselves awkwardly with whatever they can find. Whiffle Ball bats, bolt cutters, a broken champagne bottle.

What I Bought 11/23/2022

I tried, as much as possible, to stay the heck out of stores over the weekend. Can't deal with the Christmas surge. Had one comic come out last week, and not nearly as many books coming out this week as I was hoping, so let's look at what we got.

Sgt. Rock vs. the Army of the Dead #3, by Bruce Campbell (writer), Eduardo Risso (artist), Kristian Rossi (color artist), Rob Leigh (letterer) - Oh, so now Rock's decided he likes the using the flamethrower against undead Nazis. You should be more concerned with process than results, man!

Last issue's nosing around was just recon. Now Easy Co. knows where the factory is, knows the layout, knows they need better weapons to deal with the revived Nazis, and know that Hitler's personal physician visits there. A couple of quick pages to introduce some new firepower, such as an automatic shotgun and a tear gas launcher, and we're back to the guys skulking around at night.

I expected that once they were in last issue, the story would just rush forward from there. Rock and the others trying to destroy the factory and adjust to finding Doctor Morell on the fly. But it makes more sense that they'd report back and get proper tools for the job. Can't afford to screw up the mission. I'm a little surprised the skirmish last issue didn't put the Nazis on high alert. Especially since they wouldn't have found any dead American soldiers. Wouldn't that be a concern, that someone saw your secret factory and lived to tell?

Anyway, the issue flips back-and-forth between the squad led by Bulldozer, responsible for making Morell rabbit and destroying the factory, and the one led by Rock, responsible for tracking Morell. Each run into their share of complications, so Risso and Rossi get a chance to draw Nazis get their heads and limbs pulped by shotguns, or having an entire brick smokestack knocked on them with a bazooka. Rossi's limited colors work pretty well with Risso's heavy use of shadows. Some nice panels of the Nazis emerging from darkness, only teeth and eyes visible, or Jackie Johnson grinning maniacally as he fires one of those shotguns.

I think the thing that feels off to me about this Sgt. Rock is I'm used to Kanigher or Kubert giving Rock almost a constant internal monologue. Their stories were essentially written from his perspective. Campbell's ditched that approach entirely. There's no thought balloons, not even any internal narration boxes. And this Rock's not particularly chatty, which might make sense, being a hard-bitten man of few words, and most of those consisting of barked orders, but it does make things feel a bit thin in places.

The part where he and Jackie find their truck surrounded by Nazis and Rock's order is to, 'lean into it!' while leaping from the truck with his shotgun ready, felt very appropriate to the character. The action scenes catch that desperation the old comics had, but in a different way.

Sunday Splash Page #246

 

"On the Road Again," in Highwayman, by Koren Shadmi

Highwayman is a series of stories about a man named Lucas traveling from place to place. Lucas can't die, for reasons that are explained late in the book, and so his travels cover thousands of years, as both humanity and the planet gradually die away.

Each chapter is in a different place, at a different point in the journey, and Shadmi uses a different main color for each one. An overwhelming orange-red in Chapter 4, "Sizzle". An orange-peach in Chapter 2, when he hitches a ride with some girls going to an absurd party in the desert. The further the story goes, the grittier and bleaker the colors get. Not necessarily darker, but a sickly grey-green, or just a dull grey of a dead world.

Lucas remains distant from most of the people he rides with, rarely even looking at them while they talk with him. Just stares out the window as the world goes by, as if the answer to why he's like this will be posted on a billboard somewhere. The people he meets are usually awful, indifferent to the suffering of others, so maybe it works out that Lucas doesn't care too much about their fate.

It's not all like that. Shadmi does add a few kinder people along the way, and Lucas does try to help others. But the recurring theme is the kinder people get crushed by the cruel ones, and Lucas ultimately can't help anyone. That's not what he's for.

Saturday Splash Page #48

"Space Cases," in Untold Tales of Spider-Man #4, by Kurt Busiek (writer), Pat Olliffe (penciler), Al Vey and Pam Eklund (inkers), Steve Mattsson (colorist), Richard Starkings and Comicraft (letterers)

For two years in the mid-90s, Kurt Busiek and Pat Olliffe worked on a Spider-Man series set in the webslinger's earliest days. The stories were threaded in and around the Lee/Ditko issues of Amazing Spider-Man, expanding on developments in those stories, while also introducing some other characters. Not just additional villains, but some of the other high school kids. Granted, mostly kids who hung out with Flash Thompson and made Peter's life miserable, but at least they got names, personalities, and their own subplots.

The stories were largely done-in-ones, but with those subplots running through the background until they were ready to take center stage. Peter's halting relationship with Betty Brant as he tries to find time for her, when he isn't having to brush her off to save the day, and then it comes to a bit of a head when her brother's old friend shows up as a souped-up mob enforcer. One of Peter's classmates is a bit of a thrill-seeker, which manifests first in an attempt to be a superhero, then a photographer like Parker. The fallout from that prompts another of his classmates to go through a rough stretch.

It's a nice mixture, and Busiek's very good at drawing a parallel between whatever problem Spider-Man's facing and Peter's problems. Although the other high school kids are so largely a bunch of jackasses it stretches my suspension of disbelief. Even Flash Thompson can't be that much of a prick.

Olliffe gives Peter the more lanky physique he had in the Ditko years, before he got beefed up by Romita Sr. and later artists. Peter's rocking the suit jacket and tie looks he had in those years, definitely not cutting an impressive figure. Especially since Olliffe captures that slumped shoulder, hangdog look Ditko was so good at. Peter walking away, lost in his own depressing thoughts, hands jammed in his pockets, while the other students talk shit about him.

The series runs about a 50/50 mix between pre-existing villains and new ones. I think Vulture might get the most play of Spidey's classic rouge's gallery, but Busiek brings in oddballs like the original Black Knight and the Scarlet Beetle alongside the classics like Doc Ock and the Sandman. I'm a little disappointed that, other than the Headsman (who popped up in Thunderbolts post-Secret Invasion), none of the new villains got much play outside the book.

Holiday Chaos

CalvinPitt: How's the soup coming?

Clever Adolescent Panda: *stirs the pot experimentally* It's good. I still think it's suspicious you wanted miso soup with tofu as one of the dishes.

Calvin: There's nothing wrong with tofu. It's really just texture, all the taste is in the broth.

CAP: Put out an extra place setting.

Calvin: Don't go inviting extra people to our shindig!

CAP: It's for the narrator.

Calvin: Oh. I guess he did say this was all he had a couple of years ago. Which is incredibly depressing.

Narrator: I HAVE A FAMILY, YOU KNOW.

Calvin: *glares at ceiling* Then don't make misleading, self-deprecating comments.

CAP: Don't fight with our narrator.

Calvin: How would I even fight with an intangible presence?

*voice through the door*: Yo! Let me in!

Calvin: It ain't locked!

Rhodez: You're not locking your door? That's kinda welcoming for you, isn't it?

CAP: I knew you were acting suspicious!

Calvin: *rolls eyes* No, I just don't want any of the guests kicking the door in because they get impatient.

Rhodez: Does that mean?

CAP: *cheers* Deadpool's coming!

Calvin: So I'd hide that good beer you brought if you don't want Wade to shotgun the lot of it.

Rhodez: Gotcha. *stashes it in the rear of the fridge, behind some diced onions* Man, how long have these onions been in here?

Calvin: *absently while setting the table* Since some time in the summer. Whenever I last had enchiladas. I keep meaning to chuck 'em, but eh, they're sealed up. Not hurting anything.

Pollock: Oh yes, always a good philosophy. Just ignore the problem.

*One of the pies lifts off the counter*

Calvin: *steps in to grab the pie* Whoa, whoa, no throwing food at Blogsgiving, Ghost of the Forest! Use one of the knives.

Pollock: *narrowly avoids the knife* That damnable spirit is here?!

Calvin: Yeah, they showed up a few days ago. Knocked my bike over for some reason. Which also knocked over my punching bag and the camp chair and almost hit my router.

*Calvin's coyote skull floats off the counter and approximates a shrug*

Calvin: Don't give me that. You could have just messed with my hats.

Pollock: *sourly* Delightful. I'm at a higher risk of being assaulted than normal at these get-togethers. Speaking of people likely to attack me, where's Cassanee?

Calvin: She's taking a nap. Hey, Cass, up and at 'em!

Cassanee: *wanders out of the guest room, yawning and scratching her head* Hello. Brought stuffing and one of the berry pies.

Pollock: Ah. How lovely, Cassanee.

CAP: *teases* Don't you mean the sullen girl?

Pollock: *glowers* Unlike you and the dolt, she's earned my using her name.

Calvin: How? By punching you in the face? I think everyone here's done that at least once.

Rhodez: I haven't.

CAP: You drove a van through her boardroom, though.

Rhodez: It was an accident!

Deadpool: A hilarious accident.

CAP: Wade! *rushes towards him, only to be cut off* Calvin!

Calvin: Not so fast. I have a strict "no symbiotes" policy in my apartment.

Rhodez: Wade's got a symbiote?

Calvin: At least temporarily, as part of his new ongoing. And it's a Carnage symbiote, which is even worse.

Deadpool: It's just a parasite. This is discrimination!

Calvin: Yeah, I'm taking lessons from the X-Men and their Krakoa horseshit. You bring the thing, Pollock?

Pollock: *pulls a pistol from her coat* Certainly. I've no interest in being attacked by homicidal tar monsters. Cover your ears.

*The pistol emits a low hum and a pulsing violet ray strikes Deadpool's abdomen*

Deadpool: Ooh, that tickles. *pause* Not in a good way, though. More in a - hang on.

*Deadpool sprints past everyone into the restroom. There's the sound of pants unzipping, and then a several minutes of pained groans, followed by a sigh of relief.*

Rhodez: Aw man.

CAP: Courtesy flush!

*The toilet flushes, only to be drowned out by an inhuman screech.*

Deadpool: Unholy shits! By the power of Liquid Plumber! *sounds of gunfire and more flushing. Deadpool finally emerges* OK, symbiote-free. But you might want to watch out that your bathroom doesn't come alive and try to kill you.

Rhodez: Didn't Stephen King write a story like that?

Calvin: Probably. I think he's turned every mundane object into the subject of a story at one point or another. Let me just move an air freshener in there and we can eat!

Narrator: MUCH EATING OF FOOD COMMENCED!

Pollock: "Much eating of food commenced?" That's such an awkward way to put that!

Calvin: *whispers to CAP* Are we paying him by the word?

Narrator: YES, INDEED YOU ARE PAYING ME BY THE -

Calvin: Ghost, if you don't mind?

Narrator: NOW JUST HOLD -

*Calvin's bike helmet floats into the air and strikes something*

Calvin: Thank you. Turns out you fight an intangible presence with another intangible presence. Will someone pass me the sweet and sour chicken?

Pollock: This seems like a more violent than normal Blogsgiving.

Calvin: *shrugs* Eh, I think the one where Cornelius showed up was worse. He annoyed everyone, and you were wasted and mouthing off. I distinctly remember people getting his with dishware and at least one fistfight involving a certain panda.

CAP: It wasn't a fight! *grins* It was a beatdown. Pollock was too drunk to fight properly.

Pollock: How dare you!

Rhodez: Should the rest of us go eat in a different room?

Cassanee: *surveying the apartment* Have to use the balcony.

Calvin: Nope, all corporeal fights have to go somewhere else.

Deadpool: Try the bathroom. You can't mess it up much worse.

*CAP and Pollock nod and step down the hallway. Everyone else keeps eating.*

Cassanee: Why the soup?

Calvin: I have a lot of cornbread, I thought a soup would go well with it.

Rhodez: You make the cornbread?

Calvin: Nah. I made the hash, but the cornbread was from my mom.

Rhodez: Nice.

*A pair of shrieks emerge from the bathroom, along with the inhuman screech from earlier.*

CAP: Kill it with fire!

Pollock: You kill it with fire!

Deadpool: Hey, can I add these onions in your fridge to my nachos?

Calvin: You can certainly try, but go out on the balcony to open the container.

Deadpool: Got it, biological attack on your neighbors. Good way to hoard more parking spaces! And, I'll just take this beer I found behind the onions with me.

Rhodez: Hands off my beer, Wade!

Deadpool: It's not yours if it's in my stomach! *tries to run, but finds himself unable to get traction*

Rhodez: I got better with my power. *takes back her beer* Now you can go.

Deadpool: *regains traction abruptly, runs uncontrolled out the screen door and over the railing* Whoo, those onions are strong! Too strong! My eyes! My manly, yet expressive eyes!

Calvin: You're at least gonna let him have one beer, right?

Rhodez: *shrugs* Probably. I'll be wasted after two. But he's gotta ask.

Cassanee: Fair. May I?

Rhodez: Sure. Calvin, wanna get down with the drinking?

CAP: Calvin, turn on your oven!

Calvin: Are you planning to cook the symbiote in my oven?

CAP: *unconvincingly* Noooooooo?

Pollock: *thrown out of the bathroom* For the love of my devoted employees, help me grab this thing and throw it in the imbecile's oven! Aaaaahh! *get dragged back into the bathroom*

CAP: *rushes after Pollock* You could at least say "please!"

Cassanee: *still eating* So could you.

CAP: Please!

Calvin: Not my oven. That came with the apartment, they'll be pissed. Use the microwave. It's like Firestar, minus the moral qualms about murdering!

*Clever Adolescent Panda and Pollock come staggering out of the bathroom, writhing ball of red-and-black clutched in their hands. Teeth form in the mass and snap at their faces as they chuck it in the microwave.*

CAP: Popcorn!

Calvin: *holding the microwave door shut as the screeching reaches a crescendo* Did you just quote Grosse Pointe Blank?

CAP: Yeah?

Calvin: Nice! But, you know that movie ended badly for Dan Ackroyd.

Deadpool: *climbs back over the balcony* And they always will. 

Rhodez: *hands Deadpool one beer* What's that mean?

Deadpool: He knows what he did.

Cassanee: You're making things up.

Calvin: The onion fumes went to his brain.

CAP: How can you tell?

Deadpool: Et tu, little fuzz buddy?

CAP: Wade, you don't make sense a lot of the time.

Deadpool: Blame Editorial.

Calvin: Marvel still has that?

Pollock: Would you all - oh never mind. I'm too hungry to care. Jabber on, witless drones.

Narrator: AFTER MORE EATING, THERE WAS -

Calvin: Ghost?

*a knife hovers in the air*

Narrator: NEVER MIND.

Calvin: Thank you. OK, expressions of gratitude time! I vote Clever Adolescent Panda has to go last, because the rest of us always feel inferior after their turn!

CAP: Hey!

Rhodez: Second!

CAP: Wait a second!

Cassanee: Third!

Deadpool: I'll go first! I am grateful for my new ongoing series, which is being written by one of Marvel's hot new writers, rather than the old farts who do mini-series set in specific points in continuity from 20 years ago! That means I'm still really popular! The X-men even let me hang out on their island orgy colony now!

Calvin: You're on X-Force, though. That's like the CIA, but even more morally suspect.

Pollock: Is that possible?

Calvin: The CIA uses people who commit human rights violations. I'm pretty sure Hank McCoy is a walking human rights violation at this stage.

Deadpool: I'm going to help him find the light and become the cheerful, bouncing guy he used to be!

CAP: When you aren't working for an elite group of assassins?

Deadpool: If Logan can alternate between mentoring teen girls and killing hundreds of Yakuza, why can't I kill people for money while advising others not to experiment on people?

CAP: I think most of Wolverine's mentoring is teaching those girls to kill people. That's not much of a difference. But I guess you can do better than him, so it's OK.

Calvin: Wade did try to get his daughter away from his life of violence, which is more than Logan ever does.

Deadpool: Daughter?

CAP: Oh right, Duggan mind-wiped that. Just wait until someone brings Eleanor back.

Deadpool: Eleanor? That name sounds vaguely familiar. Oh right, that was what Nic Cage called that car that gave him trouble in Gone in 60 Seconds!

CAP: *pats him on the shoulder* Sure Wade, that's it.

Pollock: *sighs* Well, this is taking a depressing turn, and Calvin hasn't even gone yet. Someone else?

Rhodez: I got out of that job I hated. I love my new job, and it's gonna give me the chance to move around a little. So yeah, I'm definitely liking where am I more than a year ago. Cass?

Cassanee: The raccoons' art is bringing in more tourists. It's annoying, but the money helps. We improved our roads a lot.

Pollock: Really? Do you think you'll soon have actual cars to drive on them, or are you still using lawnmowers?

Deadpool: Shots fired!

Calvin: Take the fighting elsewhere!

*Cassanee and Pollock step outside. No one is going near the bathroom*

CAP: Pollock didn't get to tell us what she was thankful for.

Calvin: *watching the fight in the parking lot* I'd say she's thankful for getting to roughhouse with you and Cass. Looks like she's having a great time out there.

Deadpool: Why doesn't anyone want to roughhouse with me?

CAP: You stab people.

Deadpool: Only the ones I hate!

*Cassanee lands a solid kick to the solar plexus and Pollock goes bouncing across the lot*

Calvin: Maybe less of a great time now. Ghost, you want a turn? 

*Various objects float in the air, twisting and rotating in a peculiar dance. Then they settle neatly on the counter.*

Deadpool: Heartwarming. The feel-good message of the holiday season.

Calvin: Uh-huh. Anyway, my turn!

Rhodez: Hang on, I need another beer!

Deadpool: Me too!

Rhodez: *clutches the remaining beers* I already gave you one!

Deadpool: *falls to his knees* Please, Calvin's thanks are too depressing, even for my life!

Rhodez: *thinks about it* Yeah, that's fair. You can have the last one.

Deadpool; Another thing to be thankful for! Now that I have my malty Kelvar, let's hear it!

Calvin: *looks at CAP* Well, you gonna plead for a beer, too?

CAP: *looking solemn* I have confidence you can give thanks that aren't terrible. For once.

Calvin: Remind me why I let all of you in my apartment? *sighs* OK, whatever. Work is a pain in the ass and a half. Best friend in the work unit moved, the other two are unreliable at actually getting work done. No joy there.

Rhodez: Oh God. *takes a big drink*

Calvin: But who expects work to be a thing worth thanking? The best thing it can say is it didn't interfere too much with the rest of my life. No health issues, so that's always good. No health issues for those I care about, minus whatever lumps Pollock's getting right now.

Rhodez: You care about Pollock?

Calvin: Eh, she's fun to have around, when she's only harassing me as opposed to trying to kill me. I went out and saw a few cool places this year I'd be meaning to go investigate, and a couple that were spur of the moment. Got a lot of writing done, including a couple of things I'd been trying to get finish for a while. At least one of which I'm really happy with. Good enough?

CAP: I thought so.

Rhodez: Yeah man. Wade?

Deadpool: *in the process of tying a noose* Hmm? Is he done?

Calvin: Ha, ha. Fuck you, see if I keep buying your comic after issue 2.

Deadpool: You'd give me less of a chance than Tiger Division?

Calvin: Actually kill Doc Ock and we'll see. Panda, send us off with a bang, would ya?

CAP: Oh, well, there's nothing too great. My family is doing fine. I got to see all of you, and ruin another of Pollock's rental cars on April Fools Day. I'm continuing my study program on exorcisms and spirits. I recovered an book of the dead from a weird cult that wanted to open a door to another dimension and destroy civilization. I'm trying to learn to make noodles from bamboo.

Rhodez: You mean where you use a bamboo pole to make noodles?

CAP: No, noodles made of bamboo. I thought it would be fun for a soup, or a pasta. It's not going very well, though.

Calvin: Seems like there'd be too much cellulose for that.

CAP: I think I can cook some of the rigidity out of it! *pauses to look at Deadpool*

Deadpool: What?

CAP: Aren't you going to make a joke about rigidity?

Deadpool: I would never joke about food. As long as you let me have some when you figure it out.

CAP: Deal.

Rhodez: Are Pollock and Cassanee still fighting?

Calvin: *peers out window* Yep. They oughta just get a room.

The Pink Jungle (1968)

Ben Morris (James Garner) is a fashion photographer sent to some South American country for a shoot in the jungle for some new cosmetics line with model Alison Duguesne (Eva Renzi). Except the local colonel suspects Morris is a CIA agent smuggling microfilm inside lipstick and impounds the cosmetics for a week.

With nothing better to do while they wait, Morris and Alison settle down in the humdrum nearby town, unaware they're being watched by more than the colonel. On a lark, Morris buys a map pointing to an alleged diamond mine and rents the man's car to go a larger town. On the way, he and Alison pick up a machine gun toting hitchhiker named Ryderbeit (George Kennedy), who is also after the diamonds.

So the first half of the movie is a comedy along the lines of The Man Who Knew Too Little, where Morris and Alison are treating the whole diamond thing as part of some gag the locals play on tourists. There's a whole bit where they go to a night club to meet the guy Ryderbeit insists knows the real way to the diamonds, where the duo keep predicting that the nightclub owner will look a certain way, and she does, that Ryderbeit's contact will look a certain way, and he does, and that his story will involve a man promising millions with his dying breath, and it does.

The problem being, everyone else is entirely serious about the diamonds, including Ryderbeit. Especially Ryderbeit, who Kennedy plays as having wild mood swings from one moment to the next. He may call Alison a dumb broad one moment for something she says, and then make a joking comment about how she can't keep her eyes off him when she points out he might want to put on pants before seeking revenge.

The second half of the movie is considerably less funny, as the trio set out across rough terrain looking for the diamonds. They run into a man claiming to be the Australian geologist who found the diamonds and says he was betrayed by Ryderbeit's contact, and that only makes the journey more hostile. Attempted murders, betrayals, people trying not to die of thirst, people diving behind rocks to avoid being shot. 

It's not a wild swing because the movie spent that first half showing people were getting killed while Morris and Alison were both joking about how boring the little town is. It's more like we, as the audience, were waiting to see when/if the two leads catch up with the rest of us. Or maybe to see if the whole thing turned out to be a hoax, everyone chasing a phony story.

Garner is James Garner. He's usually calm and drily sarcastic, even when he's tired and frustrated, it's in a, "well fine, guess I'll do this thing that might kill me." Renzi is fine. she's pleasant, but she doesn't make much of an impact. That might just be that Kennedy's out there chewing so much scenery it makes everyone else look bland in comparison. Renzi does seem to have good chemistry with Kennedy in how she laughs off his flirting comments and can put him in his place a couple of times when she needs to.

He's Murder in the Kitchen

It's almost Thanksgiving here in the U.S., and that means it's time to ask the question on everybody's mind:

How good of a cook is Frank Castle?

What do you mean, that wasn't on your mind and never has been? You won't spare a thought for poor Frank Punisher's (tip o' the cap to Jay and Miles Explain the X-Men for that name) culinary skills? Who else is gonna make Thanksgiving dinner for him? His family? They're dead, you know. You're so insensitive.

OK, OK, we all know Frank isn't celebrating Thanksgiving with anything other than shooting some guys trying to hijack TV shipments on their way to the big box stores for Black Friday. But the man has to eat something other than the smell of gunpowder and cordite, and C-4 does not have enough fiber for a man his age (however old Frank is these days.)

I think we generally see the Punisher eating MRE rations, or indistinguishable stuff out of cans. I know in Ennis' run he went to a pub at least once, because he was eating in a dark corner when that news broadcast came on about Nicky Cavella digging up his family's bodies. But at some point, before all the punishing, the guy lived a relatively normal life with a family*. They would have family meals, because that seems like the kind of family they were from his memories, and he must have cooked occasionally, if only to give Maria a chance to rest.

So, what's in Frank's kitchen repertoire? I'm assuming he knows how to make chili, or stew. All American men are supposed to know how to make those. Even I know how to make chili, and I'm about two steps above Homer Simpson somehow causing a fire make Corn Flakes. I'm sure he knows how to grill burgers or hot dogs, his dad would have taught him that. Scrambled eggs, toast, probably grilled cheese sandwiches, stuff like that.

That's pretty straightforward stuff, but I dunno, I feel like Frank would know some surprising stuff. The Tyger established that he like reading poetry, and that his mother encouraged it, over his father's half-hearted objections. Frank seems to be an only child, I could see his mother trying to pass on things she knows, Frank patiently listening and absorbing. Maybe he can make pie crusts from scratch, or he knows how to make really good cannolis, something like that.

Although I could see the argument that Frank makes these things technically perfect, but the food lacks soul or some other ineffable quality. Like he follows the recipe to the letter, but lacks that inventiveness or instinct that causes him to make a slight alteration that enhances the experience. I'm kind of like this, except I stick to recipes as closely as possible so I don't fuck up and waste a bunch of food. If I'm going to burn x amount of time cooking, I better get something edible out of it! Utilitarian, but it works, which was probably Frank's approach.

* It just occurred to me, I have no idea what Castle did for a living between when he came home from Vietnam/the Middle East/whichever American military boondoggle his origin is tied to currently, and when his family died. Was he still in the military, but as an instructor at a boot camp? Did he have a civilian job?

Tumbleweed (1953)

Audie Murphy acts as a guide for a family of settlers heading to California. Along the way, they encounter a hostile group of Yaquis. Murphy actually saved the chief's son at the very start of the movie, so he tries to negotiate. He ends up tied to the ground, waiting to have his eyelids cut off at sunrise, but the son's mother saves him. By the time he gets to town, beaten, minus his gear and horse, the wagon train had already been there. What's left of them.

The wife of the man leading the train, her child, and her sister survived, as did the man's brother. The conclusion everyone in town comes to is that Murphy sold the others out. Again, despite him looking beat to hell and minus all his stuff. Curiously, no one seems to question how the brother survived when every other man was killed.

Then the sheriff locks Murphy up to keep him from being lynched, only to have his deputy sell Murphy out later, only for Murphy to be saved by the chief's son, who kills the deputy and dies in the process. Everyone is so hellbent on catching Audie Murphy for killing the deputy, they somehow don't notice the Yaqui dead on the ground not far away.

All that is fairly bog-standard. What made Tumbleweed entertaining didn't kick in until after this point, as Murphy's on the run and ends up at a nearby ranch, trying to steal a horse and failing miserably. The owner, having been falsely accused of murder at a point in his past, lets Murphy have a horse. It's at this point the chase begins in earnest, as the sheriff's posse does it's best to catch up, and the brother shows his true colors. 

Fortunately, while Murphy isn't impressed with the man's "best horse", a scraggly little white cayuse said to be raised on burro's milk after its mother died, but the horse is pretty slick. The horse climbs up a rocky path none of the posse can follow (Lee van Cleef tries and falls off the back of his horse). When they reached what appears to be a dried-up watering hole, the horse finds water below the sand. Right after Murphy calls it a 'dumb horse', no less. My dad and I had a pretty good time praising the horse and giving Murphy grief for being a moron.

Must be the Off-Season

Yeah, I imagine it's annoying, too. What idiot's idea was this?

Volume 6 of Cross Game was almost the breaking point for me. There is zero actual baseball in this volume, as Adachi focuses almost entirely on the love triangle stuff. I had to go look up the Wikipedia entry to see if there was actually going to be any more baseball in this thing over the remaining two volumes.

It's more like a love polygon at this point. You have Aoba and Ko, who continue to snipe and bicker, but know each other very well. But there's also Ko and Akane, the girl who looks like a teenage version of Aoba's deceased sister, Wakaba. But the catcher Akaishi had a crush on Wakaba, so he's awkward around Akane, while trying to push her and Ko together. It's really creepy, since he describes it as wanting to see Wakaba smile, and she was happiest around Ko, sooooo. . . Even when Ko and Akaishi discuss after the date that hey, Akane knows all sorts of people and places they don't because she's a unique being and not just Aged-Up Wakaba, it still feels as though she's treated as interchangeable with a girl that's been dead for 10 years.

There's also still Aoba's cousin who has a crush on her. Miyuka, or Miyuki, or whatever (Mizuki). It really doesn't matter, as he's been so largely shoved into the background I wonder why the hell Adachi even bothered to add him to the series. He doesn't bring anything to the table as a character. He doesn't care about baseball at all, but that's such an obvious deal-breaker with Aoba, and his interest in mountain climbing rarely comes up, so what's the point? If the scene needs an argumentative character or an idiot, use Nakanashi or Senda, respectively.

On top of all that mess, now the star slugger Azuma lets slip that if he was going to date any girl, it would be Aoba. *slams head against desk* The tiny bit of baseball is Aoba pitching batting practice to Azuma and getting injured when he hits a line drive. Of course, then Azuma can't hit because he's so sad about what he did and he visits her in the hospital a lot and yeesh. Adachi at least draws the parallel between this and what happened to Azuma's brother, which is what made Azuma such a humorless dick when the series began.

Adachi can want to write the teen romance stuff if they want, but that's not the part I'm invested in. The team trying to improve, trying to break through, Ko, Aoba, and Akaishi trying to make Wakaba's dream come true and reach Koshien, that's what I'm invested in, and it basically stalls out for 500 pages. There's some humor, although the parts I laugh at are mostly Coach Maeno's lines. The back-and-forth between Ko and Aoba doesn't really feel funny to me.

Sunday Splash Page #245

 

"The Bug Goes "Squish"," in Heroman vol. 2, chapter 5, by Tamon Ohta and Stan Lee

Heroman was a five volume manga (and 26-episode anime) with the original concept, at least, developed by Stan Lee and the animation studio, Bones. But I think the manga is mostly Tamon Ohta's efforts, which is why he got lead credit.

Joey Jones is a boy who lost his parents at a young age and lives with his grandmother. He works in a diner to help pay bills, gets flustered around the head cheerleader, Lina, and bullied by her jock brother, Will, and his lackeys. When one of said lackeys breaks a popular robot toy and discards it, Joey picks it out of the trash and repairs it. Then, because of reasons, when trouble comes up, said toy can transform into a giant robot, so he and Joey fight crime together. 

Well, they fight a couple of crimes, then a race of intelligent insect aliens invade Earth after being contacted by the wacky science teacher at Joey's school. That occupies most of volumes 1 through 3. Joey gradually growing in confidence, while Will struggles with the fact he's not as strong as he always believed himself to be.

The fallout from the invasion then carries through the remaining two volumes. First, when the government tries to hunt down the strange robot that succeeded where their military failed, then with Joey and Heroman investigating reports of weird stuff that might be left over from the invasion.

Saturday Splash Page #47

 

"City Sweep," in Venom (vol. 2) #22, by Rick Remender (writer), Declan Shalvey (artist), Lee Loughridge (colorist), Joe Caramanga (letterer)

Venom had several mini-series in the '90s, and an ongoing written by Daniel Way in the early 2000s, but those were always focused on Eddie Brock as the guy inside the symbiote. In 2011, though, Eddie Brock was trying to stay clear of the symbiote, and the living tar pit had been peeled off Mac Gargan after his stint being Norman Osborn's lackey. Left in the ever-so-trustworthy hands of the U.S. military, they decided to find a suitable soldier and get themselves a super-weapon.

Enter Flash Thompson. Having lost his legs serving in the Army in the Middle East during Brand New Day, Flash seemed quite eager for the opportunity to serve, and also use the symbiote as a stand-in for his legs. Remender sets Flash against Crime-Master, with his own, new Jack O'Lantern as chief henchman, but Flash is probably up against his own worst tendencies as much as anything. Remender uses Flash's own troubles with alcohol, and his ugly relationship with his abusive, alcoholic father. 

Flash doesn't really know how to deal with problems in a healthy manner, so he lies. He's dating Betty Brant, but lies to her about where he's at, claiming he's speaking at events for veterans. He lies to his bosses about how long he wore the suit during a mission in the Savage Land, and doesn't tell them Crime-Master knows who's calling themselves Venom. Because he doesn't want to lose access to the symbiote, the power, the purpose it grants him.

Tony Moore drew most of the initial story arc, and the character design for this version of Venom reflects that it's worn by someone meant to think of themselves as a soldier. It shifts appearance to resemble, boots, shoulder pads, gloves. Flash is packing heat and pouches like it's the Nineties all over again, using the symbiote to hold and fire multiple guns at once. Don't let the Punisher see that or he'll start demanding an alien goo suit. Flash keeps the suit under control with sedatives, but as he loses control, the symbiote shifts to more closely resemble the design used when Mac Gargan was wearing it. The massive, steroidal monster that looks like it could swallow a person whole.

I've only bought selected parts. The initial 5 issues, and the "Savage Six" story that concluded Remender's stint on the book. After the first five issues, it jumped into several Spider-Island tie-ins, and two or three-issue arc, and then the "Circle of Four", which was some play off the New Fantastic Four by putting together "dark" Spidey, Wolverine, Hulk and Ghost Rider in the persons of Venom, X-23, Red Hulk and that lady that took over as Ghost Rider after Jason Aaron's run. Not sure I'd agree with X-23 being more morally dubious than Logan, but whatever, I'm not dealing with that. Issues are surprisingly pricey, and Remender was replaced by Cullen Bunn, whose writing does zilch for me. 

Also, just from what issues I do own, they weren't great about keeping a regular artist. Six different artists in 13 issues, and while Kev Walker and Declan Shalvey aren't too far apart, wedging Lan Medina smack in the middle doesn't work so well.

The comic never does, in the parts I read, address any ethical concerns about drugging what is clearly a sentient being so it can be used as a weapon without its consent. Even when Remender adds Flash to his Secret Avengers run, it's unaddressed other than Hanks Pym and McCoy devising a more efficient way to keep it drugged and compliant. I'm not expecting any better from those two, Hank McCoy may have lapped Pym and Stark both with it comes to be ethically compromised, but still.

Random Back Issues #96 - El Diablo #5

Yeah, we don't have time for sustained mob beatings in the U.S., so we just shoot people.

We looked at the issue prior to this back in May, so let's jump into part 2 of "The Storm"!

The issue opens on a funeral, and El Diablo being a little snippy with the pastor he visited last issue. The situation of the missing children has only gotten worse. It doesn't start that way, as Rafe describes the city's initial reaction to word of a serial killer as 'pulling together', but that doesn't last. 

Rafe tries to organize a local neighborhood watch with local activist Olga Zamora, but it gets hung up in concerns about funding with the city government being on break through the holidays. So El Diablo turns to the "Los Diablos", a group of teenagers that helped him out before. He wants them to ask people in the neighborhoods if they've seen anything. Problem being, people in those neighborhoods don't like talking to cops, or anyone. The fact the Hispanic segment of the city's population doesn't trust the cops (who could have guessed) comes up more than once in the issue.

Rafe's cop buddy in charge of the investigation, Austin, is pushing himself to solve the case, while Zamora asks him to his face if there would be more progress if it was white kids being killed rather than brown. Which only makes Austin more determined, as he's already worried about his kids, who are mixed-race. Rafe tries to get funding for the neighborhood watch at a council meeting, but gets sideswiped by the corporate bagman, Councilman Thorn, and the matter is knocked down the agenda. The mayor's aide, Virginia, doesn't help by criticizing Rafe for getting adversarial with Thorn. Right, where's Rafe's bipartisan spirit? He should reach across the aisle so Thorn can really land a good punch on his nose.

Then one of the missing kids is found buried in an abandoned lot. The crime scene gets messed up by a bunch of people, Austin makes a dumb comment about it, the father of one of the victims takes a swing at him, the other cops respond with their typical restraint, everybody's angry. The neighborhood watch idea falls apart. Zamora tells Rafe families are moving back to Mexico where it's safer, theorizing this is all a plan to get these folks out so their low-income housing can be razed in favor of that commercial development. Boy, it'd almost be nice if that was the case. Then El Diablo could punch Thorn, and the Mayor, who is too busy meeting with developers to listen to Rafe's warning that this theory is gaining strength in parts of the city.

The Los Diablos are frustrated, too, but Artemio gets a lead on a guy. Lonnie March, the 'perfect suspect.' El Diablo convinces them to call it in as an anonymous tip, and March gets arrested. The crowd waits outside the police station for official word, getting angrier the longer they wait. But the victim had skin under their fingernails, and the DNA doesn't match. March even has good alibis, so Austin has to go out and explain that yep, they let the guy go.

The grieving father leads a mob back to March's place, including Artemio and another of Los Diablos. Zamora is outside the station, demanding answers and implying there's a cover-up, then is stunned when the crowd opts for mob violence. She even asks Austin if this is what he wanted, so I can't tell if she's disingenuous or a fucking idiot. I think Jones is just trying to write her as someone always seeing conspiracies, so we aren't supposed to take her seriously, but I don't know.

March tries to run and is seconds from getting beat to death when, first El Diablo and then the cops show up. A couple of the crowd get arrested, the killer is still unknown, and everybody is really pissed now. El Diablo's frustrated with himself for disappearing so the cops couldn't question him, and fears all that's been accomplished is make the situation worse. He's not wrong!

{4th longbox, 52nd comic, El Diablo #5, by Gerard Jones (writer), Mike Parobeck (penciler), John Nyberg (inker), Lovern Kindzierski (colorist), Tim Harkins (letterer)}

Ride Clear of Diablo (1954)

I was at my dad's over the weekend, and one channel was doing an Audie Murphy marathon on Veteran's Day, so here we are. This time around, Murphy plays Clay O'Mara, a railroad surveyor who returns home after his father and brother are murdered by cattle rustlers. He wants to find the killers and "speak" with them, and takes a job as a deputy to have some authority.

His father's lawyer spoke up for him with the sheriff, but the lawyer and the sheriff are the ones responsible. So the sheriff keeps sending him on tasks or leads that are supposed to get him killed, only to be flummoxed when Clay returns. Along the way, he falls for the sheriff's niece (played by Susan Cabot), and there's a perfunctory romance there. You would think the inevitable reveal her uncle was a killer and a crook would hit a little harder, but not really.

But the real interpersonal relationship is between Clay and notable local ne'er-do-well Whitey Kincade (Dan Duryea). The sheriff and lawyer first point Clay at Whitey as possibly knowing something, and sent Clay to serve a warrant for a different killing. Whitey doesn't think much of it, but Clay outdraws him and brings him in for trial. Now Whitey's interested.

I think Whitey's supposed to come off as a little unhinged, but watching the movie, there's a certain gay subtext to him. Mostly that everything about his character is more flamboyant than every other guy. Not wildly so, but his clothes are nicer, and brighter colors. He does everyday things, like lighting a match, with more flair than anyone else. His voice is a bit higher than I expected when he walks in, and he laughs wildly a lot.

Mostly, it's just how interested he gets in Clay. Whitey is found not guilty after the sheriff and lawyer pay another local, more small-time hood (played by the guy who played the Professor on Gilligan's Island) to provide an alibi for Whitey at his trial. You could do a whole thing on this movie, just in the weird love/hate, co-dependent relationships all the crooks have in this movie*.

After that, Whitey passes up opportunities to kill Clay, even when Clay literally hands him his loaded gun back in a place with no witnesses. When Clay shows up later looking for a stolen horse, Whitey leads him right to the culprits (the leader of which is played by Jack Elam), then covers his back until Clay gets a certain distance away. But then he lets the three guys chase after Clay and follows along to enjoy the show, but there's no hostility to it.

It's like Whitey is just really entertained by this strange young man that is fast on the draw but doesn't kill anyone, and is willing to play nice with a killer like Whitey if the law says he's innocent. Heck, Whitey even brings him a bucket of beer at one point when he thinks Clay's still recovering from being wounded retrieving the horse. It's him that tells sets in motion Cabot learning the lawyer and sheriff are crooks and killers, and he saves Clay from stepping outside into an ambush by keeping him at gunpoint and going out first. It just really feels as though Whitey fell in love with Clay.

* None of them like Whitey, and Whitey finds most of them either crushing bores or complete losers. The sheriff has just enough conscience (and more critically, even less backbone) to occasionally balk at what the lawyer pushes him to do. The lawyer in turn gets frustrated with the sheriff. Lawyer and sheriff both find the local hood to be a pain, but just useful enough of a patsy to tolerate. They all hate each other, but at different times, they all need each other just to keep their heads above water.