spectrum is that Iron Spidey outfit. It's such an obvious and blatant ripoff of the remarkably far-sighted Spider Armor from Web of Spider-Man #100. Peter Parker needs to bring a lawsuit against Tony Stark for stealing his ideas, and. . .CALVINPITT: It's over you know.
OTHER CALVIN: Huh?
CALVIN: The whole "opposite" thing. That was yesterday. Everyone's already moved on. God Un-CalvinPitt, why are you always late?
UN-CALVIN: Uh, because I'm the un-you? You're always early, so I'm always late.
CALVIN: But I'm only thirty minutes early! You're twelve HOURS late! TWELVE HOURS! It's a disproportionate response, do you hear me? DISPROPORTIONATE!!
UN-CALVIN: Sorry man, I was up late with Tom Cruise. Got to take of care of the laydees, you know? Not my fault you've got no life.
CALVIN: That's it!
Calvin pulls out a kendo stick and swings at Un-Calvin. Utilizing years of martial arts training, Un-Calvin dodges and counters with a snap roundhouse kick upside Calvin's head. Calvin drops the kendo stick. It hits the ground, bounces diagonally, and nails Un-Calvin in the nuts. Cursing loudly about how "this will ruin his weekly Hot-Tub Night", Un-Calvin picks up the kendo stick and hits Calvin roughly a half dozen times.
CALVIN: Ow, damn it! That hurt you buttlicker! Panda Squad, attack!
UN-CALVIN: Oh please, not your imaginary squad of trenchcoat-wearing, kendo-stick, wielding panda warriors.
Calvin smiles as a shadow descends over Un-Calvin's head.CALVIN: No, the Warthog-driving band of drunken college acquaintances from Halo, ass#$%&!
PANDA SQUAD: YEE-HAW! Splat!
PANDA MEAT: Dude, you need to learn how to fight.
Why yes, I am entirely too pleased with my own creativity. Why do you ask?
Yeah, I know, the bit is a day late and a dollar short, but none of the other people gave you a climactic battle, wherein they overthrow their evil doppelgangers.
In that vein, I have to ask, why did the Spider-Doppelganger hang around so long? He showed up as part of that horrible Infinity War (seriously, Marvel really overused the words "maximum" and "infinity" in the '90s) along with dozens of other evil versions of heroes, all of which were designed to destroy the originals. Of course they failed.Now if it were me, I would have sent the evil versions after different heroes. Send evil, extra-violent Hulk after Captain America, or Iron Man. I guess Marvel figured they'd used that strategy for Acts of Vengeance so it couldn't be used again, even though it wouldn't have been a bad plan.
Anyway, the heroes defeat Magus, and his doppelgangers vanish. Except Spidey's, because Demogoblin somehow kept him around. First off, I can't figure how some lameass demon has enough power to continue what was started by a guy that had Thanos acting subservient. More importantly, why the hell did we need to keep him around? They already had Venom, Carnage, and five other symbiotes by the time Venom got his own mini-series. Do we really need yet another dark opposite of Spider-Man? Especially one with no personality of his own, that is merely a beast, which was somehow kept in check by Shriek?
Marvel basically even admitted to his redundancy, when Stupid Spider-Man Opposite #7, Carnage killed him in, ugh, Maximum Carnage. At least one good thing came out of that mess.
Who's your least favorite generic evil opposite?
One other thing I want to chip in on. The significance of this picture is that John Stewart represents the destruction of Coast City, set against the backdrop (yellow sidewalk) of Parallax's machinations. Hal's incredulous reaction as relayed to the vaguely phantom-like Guardian is meant to foreshadow his inability to accept that he failed to defend his home. The fact that he has one foot on the edge and appears to be so intent with arguing with his "demon", represents Hal being too blind to what's going on around him to see he's about to fall and hit his head.
Or else it's a kitty. It's hard to tell through the pain and detached eyeball.
From under the Warthog, a hand emerges.
UN-CALVIN: Dude, that was not cool.
3 comments:
I would've pushed him off the building.
So what number Stupid Spider-Man Opposite is The Other? I've lost count by now.
doctor: You mean you would have pushed him off with incredible forces of magnetism that you control, right? You wouldn't be so mundane as to simply push him with your hands?
marc: I think The Other is something like 3,325,277.
Of course, it may require a new category of stupidity all its own.
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