Monday, January 19, 2009

I'm Clearly Being Silly Here

So Batman shot Darkseid with the same bullet that killed Orion to kick off this whole Final Crisis hoobadijoob. It occurs to me you don't typically reuse a bullet that's already been fired. The casing, sure, you can save those, reload them, and fire them again later if you know how. The part that actually gets fired through whatever it is you shoot at? That's usually a bit messed up, not really suitable for firing again.

I dig that apparently they showed Batman picking up the round and storing it in the ole utility belt*, then he busts it out and busts the proverbial cap in Darkseid's, um, upper torso region, I guess. For those of you that might have your copies handy, was the round he picked up still looking flawless? I mean, it did have to go through Orion before impacting in the pavement, and that dude is pretty tough***. Yes, it was a bullet fired backwards in time, using a copy of Metron's chair as the crosshairs, and also containing a horrible, mutagenic virus****, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be exactly like an ordinary bullet fired from an ordinary gun!

So obviously, I'm being tongue in cheek here, which I wouldn't normally feel compelled to say, but this is Final Crisis we're discussing, and that always seems to get things riled up. I'm just curious. I have to say, I haven't been reading Final Crisis, and I don't find myself terribly interested in the outcome (more than I was for Secret Invasion, though, which is saying something coming from a Marvelite such as myself), but it does provide some entertaining fodder for this here blog.

* Where did he find the gun? I'm legitimately asking, 'cause I haven't read it, you know. I'm guessing he found it sitting on a table in one of Darkseid' lackey's labs, since they were busy being dead or otherwise distracted. It seems like it was kind of large for him to have it hidden on him somewhere**.

** Maybe if he was rocking the Norm Brefoygle-style 20-foot cape. You could hide a family sedan in that thing.

*** By which I mean, his physical structure is dense, making it difficult to injure him. Maybe I should have said nigh-invulnerable isntead, but that's the Tick's line.

**** The Morticoccus virus was inside the bullet, right? And it was released, right? I mean, Desaad-in-Mary Marvel tagged Wonder Woman with it, right? How did the baddies get ahold of it, since Batman had the bullet it was delivered in? It clearly wasn't released by the bullet being fired, or the infection would have started much sooner, at the place where Orion died. Or it would have started in the future and worked backwards, so that in a sense, the first infected person might appear seconds after the bullet was fired, but more people would become infected every second, since the bullet would continue to spread the virus as it traveled into the past, and so those newly infected people in the past, would lead to more infected people in the present/future, right*****?

***** See, that's the kind of stuff that makes me hate time travel. And my own brain does it to me. Just for that, I'm gonna get blind drunk, that'll learn it.

3 comments:

SallyP said...

Silly, it's a MAGIC bullet.

Seangreyson said...

I guess it might have been made from some sort of specialized alloy which was too dense to deform on impact or something (of course how Batman was carrying around something that heavy would be the next question).

Or maybe since it went back in time (not sure on details, I haven't been reading Final Crisis), it was actually deformed in the gun which fired it and moving back in time made it less deformed until it hit its target at which point it would be in mint condition.

So um, that's my two cents.

CalvinPitt said...

sallyp: So you're saying we don't have to explain it? *pauses, looks around at assembled masses* Works for me.

seangreyson: That "deformed when fired in the future, in proper shape when it hit in the present" idea is just the sort of inspired madness I was looking for! Outstanding!