I can't think of anything in particular to post about. This is what happens when it's been four weeks since I've received comics. Right now, they're sitting at the post office, but since they arrived on Saturday, it was naturally closed long before the note telling me I had a package even reached the mailbox.
I wonder sometimes how the honchos at Marvel and DC decide who is assigned to a particular project. If nobody stumps for it, or pitched it themselves, how do they decide who to give it to? I'm looking at the solicit for the Thanos Imperative mini-series, and Abnett and Lanning are writing it, that's fine, works for me, but the artist is Miguel Sepulveda, whose work on last December's issue of Thunderbolts I was not particularly fond of. Some of that was the coloring, which was muddy and dark, and while that's fitting for a nighttime battle in a swamp, I don't think it did the art any favors. Things still felt flat, and the battles felt posed, rather than giving off any strong sense of motion. Going off that, I wonder if Sepulveda's the right artist for a big cosmic hootenanny.
Why not Andrea DiVito? She drew Annihilation and did a fine job. She's been working on Nova over the last year, but hasn't drawn an issue of that since January. Or Wellinton Alves, who drew Nova the year prior to DiVito's coming on the book? The last thing I know for sure he drew was War of Kings: Ascension, which was last summer. I know they can't use Paul Pelletier because he was gobbled up by the Hulk books (damn those Hulk books, they don't deserve good artists!), but it feels as though Marvel's cosmic titles have had a certain circle of artists they use, some more often than others, but with all the ones they might choose from, why go with someone else. Are all the others occupied on projects that haven't been solicited yet?
Oh well, Sepulveda drawing Thanos Imperative is like Winick taking over writing Power Girl: I really hope it works out well. I want to open the book and say 'Damn, Sepulveda/Winick's knocking it out of the park on this!', but it dampens my enthusiasm, at least a little.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
Times Change, Do People?
Greg Bear's Eon was published in 1985, which probably explains why the plot starts with considerable tension between the U.S. and Soviets, even though it takes place in 2005. There's already been a little nuclear exchange, which destroyed Kiev and Atlanta, among other places*. Into this comes The Stone (or the Potato, if you're Russian), an asteroid which had been moving through the Solar System for years, and basically parked itself in orbit around the Earth. Scientists from allover the world are now inside, examining the cities and technology, but since the U.S. reached it first, they're running the show, and subsequently excluding most of the other nations from the coolest stuff (especially the libraries in the 2nd and 3rd chambers, and the kind of staggering 7th chamber). This causes tension. Patricia Vazquez is the newest addition to the science team, and her primary focus is to figure out what's going on in the 7th chamber, and what it all means. There's also something of deadline, as the library has revealed some troubling things.
The book shifts in perspective from character to character. Some characters as the focal point more often, such as Vazquez, her boss Gerry Lanier, or a Russian soldier named Mirsky**, but there are at least 8-10 characters we ride along with over the course of the book. With the characters who receive more attention, Bear does a fair job helping us get to know them. I couldn't tell you their hobbies, but I have a distinct idea what the Stone means to each of them. There are several times Bear loses me with the science speak, talking about geometry stacks or relativistic speeds, and even how things are laid out inside the Stone isn't always that clear. The key thing is, even if the specifics lose me, the generalities come through. Sometimes that's due to one of the characters needing it dumbed down for them, other times, it's simply Bear's narration simplifying what the characters were describing.
The book ends in a way as to suggest as sequel, which I think the library here also has a copy of. I'm somewhat curious what direction that book would take. There's the possibility of one character trying desperately to find what they think they need, or it could focus on the problems on Earth that were hinted at by the ending, or the problems Axis City will likely face down the Way.
About the conflict on Earth. The new arrivals are trying to force the Earthlings to undergo Talsit meditation. It's a process designed to help someone move past their troubles, be it anger, fear depression, mental defects, whatever other destructive impulses a person might have. The idea is, this process will keep the Earthlings from repeating their past mistakes, because they'll be in a state of mind beyond the one they were in when all those irrational things governed them. I'm not sure I buy it. These new arrivals have access to Talsit meditation, but they still couldn't work things out with the Jarts. And when the Jarts decided to open a gate inside a star, thus flooding the Way with plasma in an attempt to exterminate the inhabitants of Axis City, half the inhabitants decided to settle on Earth. The other half took their part of the city, cranked it up to light speed, and went through the plasma energy, wiping out all the gates the Jarts had, as well as any Jart settlements along the Way. Yes, it seems Talsit meditation did wonders for getting those folks past baser impulses, because otherwise, I'd think that was at least a little revenge motivated. I'm sure the Axis Citians would justify some way or the other, "The Jarts started it!" or "We created the Way, and they shouldn't be here anyway!" or something, but it still reeks of overdoing it. Maybe I just can't buy the assertion in the book that the Jarts simply can't be negotiated with, as that seems to excuse any actions by Axis City. We never see any negotiations, so we have to take their word that they haven't done anything that provoked the Jarts to the point they open a gate inside a star.
I was a little disappointed with the direction the book took. I was hoping to see more of a focus on the two antagonistic sides realizing they were now in the same boat and trying to work together, with various successes and failures along the way. The story went in that direction for a little bit, then shifted focus to this problem with the Jarts, as well as Patricia and what she's after in all this. Where the book ended up going wasn't so bad, but it lacked impact with me. Part of the problem is that I didn't feel much connection with Patricia, or many of the major characters, except Mirsky. It was difficult for me to care much about what happened to them.
* Each superpower's anti-nuke defenses were concentrated elsewhere.
** Mirsky's my favorite character, especially after some of what he experiences leads him to wonder if he's even still alive, and what that does to him.
The book shifts in perspective from character to character. Some characters as the focal point more often, such as Vazquez, her boss Gerry Lanier, or a Russian soldier named Mirsky**, but there are at least 8-10 characters we ride along with over the course of the book. With the characters who receive more attention, Bear does a fair job helping us get to know them. I couldn't tell you their hobbies, but I have a distinct idea what the Stone means to each of them. There are several times Bear loses me with the science speak, talking about geometry stacks or relativistic speeds, and even how things are laid out inside the Stone isn't always that clear. The key thing is, even if the specifics lose me, the generalities come through. Sometimes that's due to one of the characters needing it dumbed down for them, other times, it's simply Bear's narration simplifying what the characters were describing.
The book ends in a way as to suggest as sequel, which I think the library here also has a copy of. I'm somewhat curious what direction that book would take. There's the possibility of one character trying desperately to find what they think they need, or it could focus on the problems on Earth that were hinted at by the ending, or the problems Axis City will likely face down the Way.
About the conflict on Earth. The new arrivals are trying to force the Earthlings to undergo Talsit meditation. It's a process designed to help someone move past their troubles, be it anger, fear depression, mental defects, whatever other destructive impulses a person might have. The idea is, this process will keep the Earthlings from repeating their past mistakes, because they'll be in a state of mind beyond the one they were in when all those irrational things governed them. I'm not sure I buy it. These new arrivals have access to Talsit meditation, but they still couldn't work things out with the Jarts. And when the Jarts decided to open a gate inside a star, thus flooding the Way with plasma in an attempt to exterminate the inhabitants of Axis City, half the inhabitants decided to settle on Earth. The other half took their part of the city, cranked it up to light speed, and went through the plasma energy, wiping out all the gates the Jarts had, as well as any Jart settlements along the Way. Yes, it seems Talsit meditation did wonders for getting those folks past baser impulses, because otherwise, I'd think that was at least a little revenge motivated. I'm sure the Axis Citians would justify some way or the other, "The Jarts started it!" or "We created the Way, and they shouldn't be here anyway!" or something, but it still reeks of overdoing it. Maybe I just can't buy the assertion in the book that the Jarts simply can't be negotiated with, as that seems to excuse any actions by Axis City. We never see any negotiations, so we have to take their word that they haven't done anything that provoked the Jarts to the point they open a gate inside a star.
I was a little disappointed with the direction the book took. I was hoping to see more of a focus on the two antagonistic sides realizing they were now in the same boat and trying to work together, with various successes and failures along the way. The story went in that direction for a little bit, then shifted focus to this problem with the Jarts, as well as Patricia and what she's after in all this. Where the book ended up going wasn't so bad, but it lacked impact with me. Part of the problem is that I didn't feel much connection with Patricia, or many of the major characters, except Mirsky. It was difficult for me to care much about what happened to them.
* Each superpower's anti-nuke defenses were concentrated elsewhere.
** Mirsky's my favorite character, especially after some of what he experiences leads him to wonder if he's even still alive, and what that does to him.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
My Subconscious Needs To Stop Teasing Me
You ever have dreams where you see or hear something that seems really intriguing? Like that episode of The Simpsons where Homer needs money, and he has a dream where he invented some revolutionary device that would make him millions, but he never gets a chance to see what it is, or what it does.
Last night, among other things, I dreamt I was reading a post discussing something about changes in writing in comics from the '80s to now. In the post, there was a graphic novel used as an example of the older style called Domino: Heart of Arclight, with a cover that looked drawn by Tim Sale*.
I have no idea what the story was about, though the gist of the post's text suggests it was a typical sort of '80s story, with a focus on current issues, but not handled in a particularly subtle manner**. Still, I want to know. If I had somehow managed to make the image on the screen into a tangible copy and opened it, what would it have been about? A love story? A tale of morality, difficulties in choosing between good and evil (since Arclight was a member of Mr. Sinister's Marauders back in the day)? Maybe it would be a quest story. I really have no idea, but it's frustrating.
There was a dream a couple of weeks ago where at the end Alex and I were watching a musical with his parents, and I think the song may have been something I came up with. It wasn't great (not much lyrical variety, as I recall), but better than I'd expect for someone as tone deaf as myself. How about you?
* Doesn't make much sense, as Domino didn't exist until the '90s, and I just now learned by looking it up that Tim Sale was drawing comics in the '80s. As far as I know that I knew, he started in the '90s. The reason I think it was him was the style for Domino's face reminded me of some work of his I saw in Spider-Man: Blue.
** From which I infer my subconscious thinks such things are discussed with more depth and less broad strokes today. I'm not sure my subconscious is right in its assessment.
Last night, among other things, I dreamt I was reading a post discussing something about changes in writing in comics from the '80s to now. In the post, there was a graphic novel used as an example of the older style called Domino: Heart of Arclight, with a cover that looked drawn by Tim Sale*.
I have no idea what the story was about, though the gist of the post's text suggests it was a typical sort of '80s story, with a focus on current issues, but not handled in a particularly subtle manner**. Still, I want to know. If I had somehow managed to make the image on the screen into a tangible copy and opened it, what would it have been about? A love story? A tale of morality, difficulties in choosing between good and evil (since Arclight was a member of Mr. Sinister's Marauders back in the day)? Maybe it would be a quest story. I really have no idea, but it's frustrating.
There was a dream a couple of weeks ago where at the end Alex and I were watching a musical with his parents, and I think the song may have been something I came up with. It wasn't great (not much lyrical variety, as I recall), but better than I'd expect for someone as tone deaf as myself. How about you?
* Doesn't make much sense, as Domino didn't exist until the '90s, and I just now learned by looking it up that Tim Sale was drawing comics in the '80s. As far as I know that I knew, he started in the '90s. The reason I think it was him was the style for Domino's face reminded me of some work of his I saw in Spider-Man: Blue.
** From which I infer my subconscious thinks such things are discussed with more depth and less broad strokes today. I'm not sure my subconscious is right in its assessment.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
I'll Answer These Questions, You'll Read The Answers, We'll Call It A Day
I'm very disappointed in myself, misspelling "common" in the title of yesterday's post. So sloppy.
I saw this at Sunset Over Slawit, and I'm running a little low on inspiration today, so here we are.
1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
Well, my car and I are approaching our 75,000 mile anniversary, if that counts.
2) What was your dream growing up?
To play shortstop for the St. Louis Cardinals.
3) What talent do you wish you had?
Assuming spider-powers are off the board, I'll stick with my answer to last week's hypothetical: dancing.
4) If I bought you a drink, what would it be?
Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi, most likely. I am the eternal designated driver, aided by the fact I've yet to meet an alcoholic beverage I didn't think tasted terrible.
5) Favorite vegetable?
See, now I'm confused. That Manwich commercial says corn is a grain, but two online sources say it's a veggie. Whatever, I'll stick with potatoes.
6) What was the last book you read?
The Forgotten War, by Hermann Joseph Hiery, which I discussed March 12th. I'm working my way through Greg Bear's Eon right now.
7) What zodiac sign are you?
Gemini.
8) Any tattoos and/or piercings?
No. I hate needles.
9) Worst habit?
Some combination of my impatience, my temper, and my profanity. Manifests most commonly while driving, as I become quickly annoyed by other drivers, curse about it, then get over it, all in about ten seconds.
10) If you saw me walking down the street, would you offer me a ride?
I'm guessing I don't know you, or don't like you if I do, so no.
11) What is your favorite sport?
To watch, American football, preferably professional. To play, basketball.
12) Do you have a pessimistic or optimistic attitude?
I'm very much of the "hope for the best, expect the worst" school, so you tell me.
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
I'd sit in one corner, and ignore you as much as possible.
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
So far, either sliding down the hill into that fence with the nails sticking out, or the car accident.
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
When I talk to myself, I sometimes can't remember or decide what word I want to say next. In those cases, the first word to come out will always be "thirteen", regardless of the fact it rarely has any connection to whatever I was sorting out.
16) Do you have any pets?
Only when I look after my father's many, many dogs.
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
If we're still assuming I don't know you, or dislike you if I do know you, I wouldn't open the door, as I'd figure you either want to sell magazines, or talk to me about Jesus.
18) What was your first impression of me?
That you like to ask questions.
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
Scary. Which makes me sad, because they only wanted to entertain.
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
Something to do with my hair, besides having more of it, I mean. Maybe a different color, or it being more curly? Or maybe go shorter. Hell, I don't know. Changing one thing isn't nearly enough.
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
If my friendship with Alex is any indication, I'd be the wet blanket, trying to talk you out of world domination.
22) What color eyes do you have?
Blue-green. More blue to the edges, a hint of yellow or hazel towards the center.
23) Ever been arrested?
No. I'm the wet blanket, or the Straight Edge as I explained to Alex' other friends. It sounds cooler than wet blanket.
24) Bottle or can soda?
Either. Both. I don't care, just gimme it!
25) If you won $100,000 today, what would you do with it?
Buy some DJ equipment for Alex, buy some books and DVDs for myself, find someone to finish building the fence around my dad's property (he's sure as hell never going to finish it), buy a place for my mom in the desert, throw whatever's left in the bank.
26) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
My room. Though any place that's quiet, relatively clean, and not bug-infested would suffice.
27) Do you believe in ghosts?
Sure, why not?
28) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
Maintain this blog, I suppose. Or walk.
29) Do you swear a lot?
Not when I'm around people who wouldn't approve. The rest of the time, more than I'd like.
30) Biggest pet peeve?
Minivans. Nothing good ever happens to me when minivans are around. That or the elderly, especially when they're driving.
31) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
Frustrated.
32) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
Yes.
33) Do you believe in God?
Sure, why not?
I saw this at Sunset Over Slawit, and I'm running a little low on inspiration today, so here we are.
1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
Well, my car and I are approaching our 75,000 mile anniversary, if that counts.
2) What was your dream growing up?
To play shortstop for the St. Louis Cardinals.
3) What talent do you wish you had?
Assuming spider-powers are off the board, I'll stick with my answer to last week's hypothetical: dancing.
4) If I bought you a drink, what would it be?
Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi, most likely. I am the eternal designated driver, aided by the fact I've yet to meet an alcoholic beverage I didn't think tasted terrible.
5) Favorite vegetable?
See, now I'm confused. That Manwich commercial says corn is a grain, but two online sources say it's a veggie. Whatever, I'll stick with potatoes.
6) What was the last book you read?
The Forgotten War, by Hermann Joseph Hiery, which I discussed March 12th. I'm working my way through Greg Bear's Eon right now.
7) What zodiac sign are you?
Gemini.
8) Any tattoos and/or piercings?
No. I hate needles.
9) Worst habit?
Some combination of my impatience, my temper, and my profanity. Manifests most commonly while driving, as I become quickly annoyed by other drivers, curse about it, then get over it, all in about ten seconds.
10) If you saw me walking down the street, would you offer me a ride?
I'm guessing I don't know you, or don't like you if I do, so no.
11) What is your favorite sport?
To watch, American football, preferably professional. To play, basketball.
12) Do you have a pessimistic or optimistic attitude?
I'm very much of the "hope for the best, expect the worst" school, so you tell me.
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
I'd sit in one corner, and ignore you as much as possible.
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
So far, either sliding down the hill into that fence with the nails sticking out, or the car accident.
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
When I talk to myself, I sometimes can't remember or decide what word I want to say next. In those cases, the first word to come out will always be "thirteen", regardless of the fact it rarely has any connection to whatever I was sorting out.
16) Do you have any pets?
Only when I look after my father's many, many dogs.
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
If we're still assuming I don't know you, or dislike you if I do know you, I wouldn't open the door, as I'd figure you either want to sell magazines, or talk to me about Jesus.
18) What was your first impression of me?
That you like to ask questions.
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
Scary. Which makes me sad, because they only wanted to entertain.
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
Something to do with my hair, besides having more of it, I mean. Maybe a different color, or it being more curly? Or maybe go shorter. Hell, I don't know. Changing one thing isn't nearly enough.
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
If my friendship with Alex is any indication, I'd be the wet blanket, trying to talk you out of world domination.
22) What color eyes do you have?
Blue-green. More blue to the edges, a hint of yellow or hazel towards the center.
23) Ever been arrested?
No. I'm the wet blanket, or the Straight Edge as I explained to Alex' other friends. It sounds cooler than wet blanket.
24) Bottle or can soda?
Either. Both. I don't care, just gimme it!
25) If you won $100,000 today, what would you do with it?
Buy some DJ equipment for Alex, buy some books and DVDs for myself, find someone to finish building the fence around my dad's property (he's sure as hell never going to finish it), buy a place for my mom in the desert, throw whatever's left in the bank.
26) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
My room. Though any place that's quiet, relatively clean, and not bug-infested would suffice.
27) Do you believe in ghosts?
Sure, why not?
28) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
Maintain this blog, I suppose. Or walk.
29) Do you swear a lot?
Not when I'm around people who wouldn't approve. The rest of the time, more than I'd like.
30) Biggest pet peeve?
Minivans. Nothing good ever happens to me when minivans are around. That or the elderly, especially when they're driving.
31) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
Frustrated.
32) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
Yes.
33) Do you believe in God?
Sure, why not?
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
What They Have In Comoon Is They're All Lousy
Movies! With movies comes much griping about said movies. I think the cheap movies I purchased would have been better (I know for a fact Smokey and the Bandit would have been), but we never got around to watching them. I'll just watch them by myself some time. These movies we're discussing today, I'll be spoiling parts of them. You're welcome.
Wrong Turn 3 - 4 college kids go kayaking down a river. Three are killed five minutes into the movie by a hillbilly freak, who is also a cannibal. A prison is transferring several convicts, and fearing one of the prisoner's soldiers will attempt to free him, has changed the route, sending the transport bus through the same patch of wilderness. One of the guards happens to be from the area, and knows the sheriff. The transport crashes off the road, the cons gain the upper hand, then start getting picked off one at a time, as tends to happen in these situations. They run across the surviving college kid, and also find an armored truck (which has been there for decades) and the con giving the orders decides escaping wasn't hard enough already, everyone must carry bags of money. The sheriff hauls his fat ass out there to help, as does his perky young deputy. The guard from the area generally proves incompetent at finding his way around, and the Hispanic fellow giving orders keeps butting heads with the white supremacist he's sort of business partners with. There's also a whiny ginger car thief, an undercover U.S. Marshall, and a guy protesting he's innocent of the murder he was convicted of. Most of these people, and a few others, die. No one dies pretty.
Eddie told me it's established in this series that the mutant hillbillies can regenerate, so they essentially have to be blown up to be killed. It sounds more like something viewers of the films came up with to explain it themselves, but maybe it is canon. My problem with that is likely a symptom of my larger inability to suspend disbelief. I found some of the deaths improbable, the level of skill the killer demonstrated out of whack with what I figured its intelligence to be. The idea he/it's a cannibal because all the animals are already eaten struck me as ridiculous. People with head starts continually run into the people they were fleeing, because those people have somehow gotten ahead of them. Considering those people are weighed down with bags of money, or are injured, or shouldn't have any idea where the hell they're going, it makes no sense they somehow got ahead of the people they were pursuing. Of course, firearms have ammunition until the precise moment they would actually do some good, at which point they run dry.
This is not a good movie, but that's not usually an impediment. I enjoyed the first Wrong Turn a bit, though the enjoyment can be summed up in two words*. I'm less interested in movies that's primary gift to the audience seems to be gore than I was when I was younger. This is where I seem to differ from Sheena and Eddie, and Alex as well. An arrow going through the back of someone's skull and out through their eye socket, the eye on the tip of the arrow, until the cannibal pulls it off and eats it, does nothing but make me wish I was watching something else. There were a couple of parts I liked. The white supremacist steals all the money bags, then is hit with a Molotov cocktail. He's sees his former business partner (who beat him to a bloody pulp earlier) coming, and decides if he's going, he'll take the money with him, and makes sure the fire consuming him takes all the cash as well. That was funny. The car thief was instantly annoying, so I was worried he'd somehow survive, but he didn't. Even there, the death was more unpleasant than I'd prefer. I just wanted him to no longer be an active presence in the movie. Being wrapped in barb wire and dragged on the highway was a bit much. A simple bullet to the head would have sufficed.
Funny Games - I can't review this, because I gave up watching it after 30 minutes, opting first to watch Alex' computer run a virus scan, then go to another room and watch something else. Then Sheena and Eddie lost interest and went to bed, and Alex suggested we could do something else when I came back**. He did confirm my fear about the ending, so I was glad I didn't finish watching it. As far as I watched, a family comes to their lovely summer home, and are immediately annoyed by a couple of young men staying with a neighbor. The young men ask to borrow eggs, then keep dropping them for various reasons, drop Naomi Watts' phone in the sink, and ask to borrow her golf clubs, just one swing please. Of course, they are actually psychopaths, who want to play horrible torture mind games with the family before they kill them. Then they'll go to another fancy summer house and start all over again.
I think it was by design, but I found Peter and Paul irritating. Their manner of speaking, to be unfailingly polite and a little pathetic, but at the same time, resolute to get whatever it was they wanted. They just keep politely pleading for you to please let them have those last four eggs, and I know it means you won't have any more, and I know I already dropped eight eggs, because I'm trying to appear to be a moron when really I'm just fucking with you, but really, couldn't you please just let me have those last four eggs? Shoot me. Also, they look like wusses. Naomi Watts keeps asking them to leave, then asking her husband to tell them to leave, and I'm thinking she could probably kick both their asses, and throw them out on their ears. She should have done it. I would have been entertained.
According to Alex, the family dies at the end, and the boys use their sailboat to travel across the lake to torment a family that stopped by briefly earlier in the movie. So they commit horrible acts and escape. If that's how a movie is going to end, with the killers receiving no comeuppance, it better make them a damn sight more interesting than these two were. Pierce Brosnan in The Matador, for example. He was a hitman, and at the end of the movie, had found a renewed zest for his work, and I didn't mind that he hadn't died for what he did. Because he was a character I found something to like in.
Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li - What can I say, it was a slow afternoon. I wasn't planning to watch this until I saw Michael Clarke Duncan was in it, playing Balrog***. So I was faced with the possibility he'd fight Chun-Li, played by Kristin Kreuk, and since she's the hero, he'd lose. I was eagerly awaiting this, as I wanted to see whether I would find this defeat more plausible or less than the one he suffered at the hands of Ben Affleck**** in Daredevil. Sadly, it did not come to pass, as Duncan was defeated by Robin Shou, who played Chun-Li's mentor Gen. Also, he played Liu Kang in the Mortal Kombat movies, so Michael Clarke Duncan losing to him doesn't inspire much disbelief.
Hmm, I don't have anything else to say about the movie. I only caught the end of Monsters vs. Aliens, so I'll just say what I saw I liked, and I'll probably make a point to watch the whole movie some point in the near future*****.
* The two words being, Eliza Dushku.
** We opted to play Rock Band 2.
*** Looking online, it says he was M. Bison in the Japanese version of the film. Works better than Neal McDonough as Bison did. McDonough looked like Bison's accountant.
**** I Affleck wins after he manages to get water flying all over the place, taking away Duncan's vision, but somehow I could still picture Affleck hitting Duncan as hard as he could, even those shots at the knees, which was a pretty smart idea, and Duncan being unfazed by all of it.
***** I was planning to do just that later that night when they showed it again, but everyone else wanted to go to Buffalo Wild Wings, so I missed my opportunity.
Wrong Turn 3 - 4 college kids go kayaking down a river. Three are killed five minutes into the movie by a hillbilly freak, who is also a cannibal. A prison is transferring several convicts, and fearing one of the prisoner's soldiers will attempt to free him, has changed the route, sending the transport bus through the same patch of wilderness. One of the guards happens to be from the area, and knows the sheriff. The transport crashes off the road, the cons gain the upper hand, then start getting picked off one at a time, as tends to happen in these situations. They run across the surviving college kid, and also find an armored truck (which has been there for decades) and the con giving the orders decides escaping wasn't hard enough already, everyone must carry bags of money. The sheriff hauls his fat ass out there to help, as does his perky young deputy. The guard from the area generally proves incompetent at finding his way around, and the Hispanic fellow giving orders keeps butting heads with the white supremacist he's sort of business partners with. There's also a whiny ginger car thief, an undercover U.S. Marshall, and a guy protesting he's innocent of the murder he was convicted of. Most of these people, and a few others, die. No one dies pretty.
Eddie told me it's established in this series that the mutant hillbillies can regenerate, so they essentially have to be blown up to be killed. It sounds more like something viewers of the films came up with to explain it themselves, but maybe it is canon. My problem with that is likely a symptom of my larger inability to suspend disbelief. I found some of the deaths improbable, the level of skill the killer demonstrated out of whack with what I figured its intelligence to be. The idea he/it's a cannibal because all the animals are already eaten struck me as ridiculous. People with head starts continually run into the people they were fleeing, because those people have somehow gotten ahead of them. Considering those people are weighed down with bags of money, or are injured, or shouldn't have any idea where the hell they're going, it makes no sense they somehow got ahead of the people they were pursuing. Of course, firearms have ammunition until the precise moment they would actually do some good, at which point they run dry.
This is not a good movie, but that's not usually an impediment. I enjoyed the first Wrong Turn a bit, though the enjoyment can be summed up in two words*. I'm less interested in movies that's primary gift to the audience seems to be gore than I was when I was younger. This is where I seem to differ from Sheena and Eddie, and Alex as well. An arrow going through the back of someone's skull and out through their eye socket, the eye on the tip of the arrow, until the cannibal pulls it off and eats it, does nothing but make me wish I was watching something else. There were a couple of parts I liked. The white supremacist steals all the money bags, then is hit with a Molotov cocktail. He's sees his former business partner (who beat him to a bloody pulp earlier) coming, and decides if he's going, he'll take the money with him, and makes sure the fire consuming him takes all the cash as well. That was funny. The car thief was instantly annoying, so I was worried he'd somehow survive, but he didn't. Even there, the death was more unpleasant than I'd prefer. I just wanted him to no longer be an active presence in the movie. Being wrapped in barb wire and dragged on the highway was a bit much. A simple bullet to the head would have sufficed.
Funny Games - I can't review this, because I gave up watching it after 30 minutes, opting first to watch Alex' computer run a virus scan, then go to another room and watch something else. Then Sheena and Eddie lost interest and went to bed, and Alex suggested we could do something else when I came back**. He did confirm my fear about the ending, so I was glad I didn't finish watching it. As far as I watched, a family comes to their lovely summer home, and are immediately annoyed by a couple of young men staying with a neighbor. The young men ask to borrow eggs, then keep dropping them for various reasons, drop Naomi Watts' phone in the sink, and ask to borrow her golf clubs, just one swing please. Of course, they are actually psychopaths, who want to play horrible torture mind games with the family before they kill them. Then they'll go to another fancy summer house and start all over again.
I think it was by design, but I found Peter and Paul irritating. Their manner of speaking, to be unfailingly polite and a little pathetic, but at the same time, resolute to get whatever it was they wanted. They just keep politely pleading for you to please let them have those last four eggs, and I know it means you won't have any more, and I know I already dropped eight eggs, because I'm trying to appear to be a moron when really I'm just fucking with you, but really, couldn't you please just let me have those last four eggs? Shoot me. Also, they look like wusses. Naomi Watts keeps asking them to leave, then asking her husband to tell them to leave, and I'm thinking she could probably kick both their asses, and throw them out on their ears. She should have done it. I would have been entertained.
According to Alex, the family dies at the end, and the boys use their sailboat to travel across the lake to torment a family that stopped by briefly earlier in the movie. So they commit horrible acts and escape. If that's how a movie is going to end, with the killers receiving no comeuppance, it better make them a damn sight more interesting than these two were. Pierce Brosnan in The Matador, for example. He was a hitman, and at the end of the movie, had found a renewed zest for his work, and I didn't mind that he hadn't died for what he did. Because he was a character I found something to like in.
Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li - What can I say, it was a slow afternoon. I wasn't planning to watch this until I saw Michael Clarke Duncan was in it, playing Balrog***. So I was faced with the possibility he'd fight Chun-Li, played by Kristin Kreuk, and since she's the hero, he'd lose. I was eagerly awaiting this, as I wanted to see whether I would find this defeat more plausible or less than the one he suffered at the hands of Ben Affleck**** in Daredevil. Sadly, it did not come to pass, as Duncan was defeated by Robin Shou, who played Chun-Li's mentor Gen. Also, he played Liu Kang in the Mortal Kombat movies, so Michael Clarke Duncan losing to him doesn't inspire much disbelief.
Hmm, I don't have anything else to say about the movie. I only caught the end of Monsters vs. Aliens, so I'll just say what I saw I liked, and I'll probably make a point to watch the whole movie some point in the near future*****.
* The two words being, Eliza Dushku.
** We opted to play Rock Band 2.
*** Looking online, it says he was M. Bison in the Japanese version of the film. Works better than Neal McDonough as Bison did. McDonough looked like Bison's accountant.
**** I Affleck wins after he manages to get water flying all over the place, taking away Duncan's vision, but somehow I could still picture Affleck hitting Duncan as hard as he could, even those shots at the knees, which was a pretty smart idea, and Duncan being unfazed by all of it.
***** I was planning to do just that later that night when they showed it again, but everyone else wanted to go to Buffalo Wild Wings, so I missed my opportunity.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Like A Rubber Ball, I've Bounced Back To You
Thanks to the folks who answered last week's hypothetical. Now I'm reconsidering my choice. An excellent singing voice is tempting.
As usual, I'm tired. I only manage to adjust to Alex' schedule for fun to the extent of staying up until 3 AM. I can't seem to master the "sleep 'til 11 AM" part. What's done is done, but what was done?
I had fish tacos for the first time, and they were excellent. Played Rock Band 2, and was able to do enough as vocalist to avoid wrecking the song for the other players. This usually involved me humming the song, except for the rare occasions where I knew the words. Apparently, i can't read the lyrics off the screen while simultaneously singing them in proper key.
Alex continued to kick my butt on Wii Sports Bowling, but I'm able to return the favor on Golf, so it all evens out. He laughs at me letting go of the ball too soon four times in a row, I laugh at his continual missing of putts from all distances.
We tried developed roughly five variants on the exploding respect knuckles, including "Vroom, Vroom, I just bought new tires", and "That Attractive Lady Made The Crappy Movie More Bearable" Respect Knuckles.
Played a game, the name of which I forget, where one tries to get their partner to guess a phrase before time runs out, so you can pass the device to the other team, and the team with the device when time runs out loses. Through this game learned a relative of Alex' does not know what state Indianapolis is in. They were trying to get me to guess "Minnesota Vikings", and told me the state was where one finds Indianapolis. They're 24.
Berated by Alex' neighbor, after the two of them made salsa, for picking up a chip and eating it without salsa. Then berated for not putting enough salsa on when I did dip. Was not sorry when neighbor went back to his apartment to most likely drink alone in the dark.
Watched some movies, which I'll discuss tomorrow. I can't say any of them were good offhand. Monsters vs. Aliens probably was, but I only caught the last 40 minutes or so. Saturday morning, stumbled across Turtles Forever, that TV movie where the Ninja Turtles from the more recent series team-up with the ones from the late 80s (early 90s) series. Didn't not remember the Shredder from the old series being so Cobra Commander like, and not in a good way. Blithering, whiny incompetent.
Laughed heartily when Alex's sister's cat made it outside, only to be frightened so badly by the hundreds of blackbirds in the trees (which all began squawking loudly when they saw it) that it tried to climb the screen door to get away.
Other than the lack of sleep, and the cold, gray weather on Saturday and Sunday, had an excellent time.
As usual, I'm tired. I only manage to adjust to Alex' schedule for fun to the extent of staying up until 3 AM. I can't seem to master the "sleep 'til 11 AM" part. What's done is done, but what was done?
I had fish tacos for the first time, and they were excellent. Played Rock Band 2, and was able to do enough as vocalist to avoid wrecking the song for the other players. This usually involved me humming the song, except for the rare occasions where I knew the words. Apparently, i can't read the lyrics off the screen while simultaneously singing them in proper key.
Alex continued to kick my butt on Wii Sports Bowling, but I'm able to return the favor on Golf, so it all evens out. He laughs at me letting go of the ball too soon four times in a row, I laugh at his continual missing of putts from all distances.
We tried developed roughly five variants on the exploding respect knuckles, including "Vroom, Vroom, I just bought new tires", and "That Attractive Lady Made The Crappy Movie More Bearable" Respect Knuckles.
Played a game, the name of which I forget, where one tries to get their partner to guess a phrase before time runs out, so you can pass the device to the other team, and the team with the device when time runs out loses. Through this game learned a relative of Alex' does not know what state Indianapolis is in. They were trying to get me to guess "Minnesota Vikings", and told me the state was where one finds Indianapolis. They're 24.
Berated by Alex' neighbor, after the two of them made salsa, for picking up a chip and eating it without salsa. Then berated for not putting enough salsa on when I did dip. Was not sorry when neighbor went back to his apartment to most likely drink alone in the dark.
Watched some movies, which I'll discuss tomorrow. I can't say any of them were good offhand. Monsters vs. Aliens probably was, but I only caught the last 40 minutes or so. Saturday morning, stumbled across Turtles Forever, that TV movie where the Ninja Turtles from the more recent series team-up with the ones from the late 80s (early 90s) series. Didn't not remember the Shredder from the old series being so Cobra Commander like, and not in a good way. Blithering, whiny incompetent.
Laughed heartily when Alex's sister's cat made it outside, only to be frightened so badly by the hundreds of blackbirds in the trees (which all began squawking loudly when they saw it) that it tried to climb the screen door to get away.
Other than the lack of sleep, and the cold, gray weather on Saturday and Sunday, had an excellent time.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Again With The Pointless Questions
I'll be off visiting friends starting just as soon as I can tomorrow, so more than likely, there will be no posting until Monday. I'll leave you to ponder this, a question I posed to Alex in response to a question of his (which I posed to you last December).
If you had a choice between being a fabulous dancer and a horrible singer, or a fabulous singer and a horrible dancer, which would you choose? When I say "fabulous", you are possibly the best in the world. There's no dance you can't dance flawlessly, no song you can't sing perfectly. Your movements will draw appreciative glances from all around, your voice will make people fall to their knees and weep with joy.
Conversely, by "horrible", you are possibly the worst in the world. You have three left feet, all wearing right shoes with greased soles, and you're drunk. People will run screaming as if you were a starved Tasmanian Devil. Not only can you not hit the right note, you can't hit in the same area code as the right note. Babies will sharpen their spoons in an attempt to gouge out their ears.
OK, I'm overstating it. You'll be really good at one, and really bad at the other. I'll leave it to you to explain how you're so magnificent at your choice. I went with being an excellent dancer. I figure I'm already a poor singer, but that doesn't stop me from singing along to my CDs in the car. So I would simply restrict my singing to moments when I'm alone. If I'm an excellent dancer, then my balance, flexibility, agility, and coordination are all considerably better than they are in real life, so that presumably would carryover into other parts of my life*. I suppose if my voice is that bad it precludes a life involving public speaking, but I don't consider that much of a loss.
I don't remember what Alex chose, if I remember to ask him, I'll add his answer to the post. In the meantime, you give it some thought, and let me know what you'd choose in the comments, and I'll probably talk to you on Monday.
* I probably wouldn't trip over rocks and tree limbs while tromping up and down hills as part of my job, for one thing.
If you had a choice between being a fabulous dancer and a horrible singer, or a fabulous singer and a horrible dancer, which would you choose? When I say "fabulous", you are possibly the best in the world. There's no dance you can't dance flawlessly, no song you can't sing perfectly. Your movements will draw appreciative glances from all around, your voice will make people fall to their knees and weep with joy.
Conversely, by "horrible", you are possibly the worst in the world. You have three left feet, all wearing right shoes with greased soles, and you're drunk. People will run screaming as if you were a starved Tasmanian Devil. Not only can you not hit the right note, you can't hit in the same area code as the right note. Babies will sharpen their spoons in an attempt to gouge out their ears.
OK, I'm overstating it. You'll be really good at one, and really bad at the other. I'll leave it to you to explain how you're so magnificent at your choice. I went with being an excellent dancer. I figure I'm already a poor singer, but that doesn't stop me from singing along to my CDs in the car. So I would simply restrict my singing to moments when I'm alone. If I'm an excellent dancer, then my balance, flexibility, agility, and coordination are all considerably better than they are in real life, so that presumably would carryover into other parts of my life*. I suppose if my voice is that bad it precludes a life involving public speaking, but I don't consider that much of a loss.
I don't remember what Alex chose, if I remember to ask him, I'll add his answer to the post. In the meantime, you give it some thought, and let me know what you'd choose in the comments, and I'll probably talk to you on Monday.
* I probably wouldn't trip over rocks and tree limbs while tromping up and down hills as part of my job, for one thing.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Power Girl Said She'd Like To Have More Friends To Hang Out With
I've been thinking, I'd like to see Power Girl and Dr. Mid-Nite (Pieter Cross) hang out in their civilian identities. Between Power Girl, 2008's Terra mini-series, and that JSA Classified arc, I've seen Power Girl interact with Dr. Mid-Nite more than just about any other crimefighter. Maybe that's because Amanda Conner likes to draw scenes of his owl doing amusing things, but let's assume for a minute that's not the only reason.
Admittedly, Cross seems more restrained than Power Girl, but that just means he's a gentleman. He was able to loosen up when he dated Black Canary*. Let's see, they're both pet owners, Mid-Nite's into yoga, Peej likes horror movies and snow globes. I don't really know anything else about him, except he attends church and some of the people he helped in Portsmouth serve as a sort of community watch/group of sidekicks for him.
If nothing else, as a medical man, Cross probably has some suggestions for things Power Girl's company could look into developing. I know that's not really where Starrware's interests lie, but creating more efficient or less resource-consuming medical equipment wouldn't hurt the old bottom line.
Maybe it would just be awkward, but if it could work, they'd have a different sort of friendship from what she has with Terra, where Power Girl's a sort of mentor, as well as friend. I'm guessing Cross is a little older than Karen, he'd see things differently from her or Terra, so he'd be a different perspective on her attempts to fit back into a civilian identity, or trying to be a solo hero, or whatever. Or they could, I don't know, go to an art gallery or something. Then again, he sees in thermal wavelengths, right? So maybe a concert would be a better idea. Ooh, or a fireworks show! Bright lights and loud noises that don't herald the latest convoluted attempt by shadowy villains to destroy the JSA!
* Question for you about that. Canary and Mid-Nite's relationship ended for reasons I don't know, but she wound up with Ollie again. Setting aside his recent turn towards murder for JUSTICE! did she trade up or trade down? I think trade down, if only because Ollie seems like such an overbearing ass, but I'd like to hear your thoughts.
Admittedly, Cross seems more restrained than Power Girl, but that just means he's a gentleman. He was able to loosen up when he dated Black Canary*. Let's see, they're both pet owners, Mid-Nite's into yoga, Peej likes horror movies and snow globes. I don't really know anything else about him, except he attends church and some of the people he helped in Portsmouth serve as a sort of community watch/group of sidekicks for him.
If nothing else, as a medical man, Cross probably has some suggestions for things Power Girl's company could look into developing. I know that's not really where Starrware's interests lie, but creating more efficient or less resource-consuming medical equipment wouldn't hurt the old bottom line.
Maybe it would just be awkward, but if it could work, they'd have a different sort of friendship from what she has with Terra, where Power Girl's a sort of mentor, as well as friend. I'm guessing Cross is a little older than Karen, he'd see things differently from her or Terra, so he'd be a different perspective on her attempts to fit back into a civilian identity, or trying to be a solo hero, or whatever. Or they could, I don't know, go to an art gallery or something. Then again, he sees in thermal wavelengths, right? So maybe a concert would be a better idea. Ooh, or a fireworks show! Bright lights and loud noises that don't herald the latest convoluted attempt by shadowy villains to destroy the JSA!
* Question for you about that. Canary and Mid-Nite's relationship ended for reasons I don't know, but she wound up with Ollie again. Setting aside his recent turn towards murder for JUSTICE! did she trade up or trade down? I think trade down, if only because Ollie seems like such an overbearing ass, but I'd like to hear your thoughts.
Monday, March 15, 2010
I Can't Help But Be Somewhat Bummed Out By This
Turns out Jimmy Palmiotti, Justin Gray, and Amanda Conner are leaving Power Girl after issue #12. This is not happy news. I haven't read anything which names the creative team yet, but fingers crossed, they can maintain the tone of the book. Or, failing that, their take will be equally entertaining, but in a different way.
Attempts at positive attitude aside, I'm still disappointed. Power Girl was one of three titles whose place on my pull list was completely secure* with its creative team. Every issue had something entertaining, whether it was a funny line, a some nice superheroics, or just the usual interesting backgrounds Conner would draw. It isn't one of the books that, when it arrives, I'm hopeful it'll be good, but worried I'll be bored or displeased with. I'm excited when Power Girl shows up.
I'm not giving up on the book, mind you. Well, if the creative team is composed of people whose work I have never enjoyed I might, but even then I'm inclined to give them a chance. I stayed with The Punisher for three issues post-Garth Ennis, and normally I wait to see how the first arc for the new team plays out before making a decision. Hopefully whoever the new folks are, I like what they do. I'd like to keep buying and enjoying the book for as long as I can.
* The other two being Guardians of the Galaxy and Nova. This assumes Snell was right - and I hope he is - and those titles are just taking May off as Abnett and Lanning gear up for their next cosmic hoedown.
Attempts at positive attitude aside, I'm still disappointed. Power Girl was one of three titles whose place on my pull list was completely secure* with its creative team. Every issue had something entertaining, whether it was a funny line, a some nice superheroics, or just the usual interesting backgrounds Conner would draw. It isn't one of the books that, when it arrives, I'm hopeful it'll be good, but worried I'll be bored or displeased with. I'm excited when Power Girl shows up.
I'm not giving up on the book, mind you. Well, if the creative team is composed of people whose work I have never enjoyed I might, but even then I'm inclined to give them a chance. I stayed with The Punisher for three issues post-Garth Ennis, and normally I wait to see how the first arc for the new team plays out before making a decision. Hopefully whoever the new folks are, I like what they do. I'd like to keep buying and enjoying the book for as long as I can.
* The other two being Guardians of the Galaxy and Nova. This assumes Snell was right - and I hope he is - and those titles are just taking May off as Abnett and Lanning gear up for their next cosmic hoedown.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Which Means Rip's Chalkboard Is From DC's Creative Summits
Booster Gold decides he wants to change how some event turned out in the DC Universe. Rip Hunter tells him he can't, it's necessary for that thing to happen because {insert reason}. Booster listens and lets things play out as they did. Or he changes things anyway, disaster ensues (witness his saving of Ted Kord).
That makes Rip Hunter one of DC's editors in disguise, right? He uses Booster to make sure events deemed important happen, and tells him not to mess with things that upset too many apple carts. Hank Henshaw has to become Cyborg Superman because it spurs on new heights of heroism means "The Superman writers need him for Reign of the Supermen, and Geoff Johns wanted to use him in Sinestro Corps War".
Or Rip could be a representation of how the title's various writers see editors. Similar to how Superboy-Prime can be considered an example of how DC views the fanboys. Which would mean they feel that DC's editors are level-headed, big picture people who don't like to shave. They have a certain amount of patience, but are prone to lecturing when trying to ground their charges' flights of fancy.
That makes Rip Hunter one of DC's editors in disguise, right? He uses Booster to make sure events deemed important happen, and tells him not to mess with things that upset too many apple carts. Hank Henshaw has to become Cyborg Superman because it spurs on new heights of heroism means "The Superman writers need him for Reign of the Supermen, and Geoff Johns wanted to use him in Sinestro Corps War".
Or Rip could be a representation of how the title's various writers see editors. Similar to how Superboy-Prime can be considered an example of how DC views the fanboys. Which would mean they feel that DC's editors are level-headed, big picture people who don't like to shave. They have a certain amount of patience, but are prone to lecturing when trying to ground their charges' flights of fancy.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Escalation Never Solves Anything
Satanna didn't think this whole "revenge on Power Girl" thing through very well, did she?
She's angry that Power Girl defeated Ultra-Humanite and carted him off to the authorities. So she hires Sivana to whip up some gizmos for her, and sets out to kill Power Girl.
OK, let's say she succeeds. She won't, but say she does. Either Terra didn't show up, or Satanna outmaneuvered her, or something. Power Girl is dead. What's that earned Satanna? Some dap from other villains? That and five bucks will get you a coffee.
Now she's going to have all the heroes breathing down her neck, out for revenge, and at least some of them will be willing to kill her right back. Certainly Terra seemed willing (or is an excellent bluffer), there's Magog to consider (I know it's painful to do so, but we don't have to consider him for long), Ray Palmer jumping on people's brains (not lethal, but unpleasant), Green Arrow killing people for JUSTICE!* and so on. What's she going to do about them? Claim Jean Loring paid her to do it?
This is the thing about evildoers, they never think. If they beat up the hero, maybe make them look bad, sure, the hero is still alive and after them, but said hero is only annoyed. That's less hazardous to a villain's health than a hero out for blood. This is why, if I were a villain**, I'd stick to using my powers for robbing banks, and jewelry stores and stuff. The heroes would probably be pretty nice, since I'm not endangering the lives of civilians or their loved ones. Yes, they're still going to punch me and throw me in jail, but it'll be a relatively gentle punching.
* Misspelled "justice'" there for a second. Considered leaving it, making joke Ollie was committed to a concept he can't even spell, which might explain why he was going about things in such a stupid manner. Decided it was funny enough to mention in a footnote, not funny enough for the main post.
** I'd probably start as a hero, but wind up saving Marvel Universe*** style citizenry, who would berate me for not also saving their car/hat/fruit cart, at which point I'd turn to evil. I'd rob banks, and make sure to smash fruit carts as I escaped (while being careful not to harm the fruit cart vendor, naturally).
** I know the solicits say that in the Heroic Age, the majority of the citizens will finally appreciate the heroes, but I'll believe that when I see it.
She's angry that Power Girl defeated Ultra-Humanite and carted him off to the authorities. So she hires Sivana to whip up some gizmos for her, and sets out to kill Power Girl.
OK, let's say she succeeds. She won't, but say she does. Either Terra didn't show up, or Satanna outmaneuvered her, or something. Power Girl is dead. What's that earned Satanna? Some dap from other villains? That and five bucks will get you a coffee.
Now she's going to have all the heroes breathing down her neck, out for revenge, and at least some of them will be willing to kill her right back. Certainly Terra seemed willing (or is an excellent bluffer), there's Magog to consider (I know it's painful to do so, but we don't have to consider him for long), Ray Palmer jumping on people's brains (not lethal, but unpleasant), Green Arrow killing people for JUSTICE!* and so on. What's she going to do about them? Claim Jean Loring paid her to do it?
This is the thing about evildoers, they never think. If they beat up the hero, maybe make them look bad, sure, the hero is still alive and after them, but said hero is only annoyed. That's less hazardous to a villain's health than a hero out for blood. This is why, if I were a villain**, I'd stick to using my powers for robbing banks, and jewelry stores and stuff. The heroes would probably be pretty nice, since I'm not endangering the lives of civilians or their loved ones. Yes, they're still going to punch me and throw me in jail, but it'll be a relatively gentle punching.
* Misspelled "justice'" there for a second. Considered leaving it, making joke Ollie was committed to a concept he can't even spell, which might explain why he was going about things in such a stupid manner. Decided it was funny enough to mention in a footnote, not funny enough for the main post.
** I'd probably start as a hero, but wind up saving Marvel Universe*** style citizenry, who would berate me for not also saving their car/hat/fruit cart, at which point I'd turn to evil. I'd rob banks, and make sure to smash fruit carts as I escaped (while being careful not to harm the fruit cart vendor, naturally).
** I know the solicits say that in the Heroic Age, the majority of the citizens will finally appreciate the heroes, but I'll believe that when I see it.
Friday, March 12, 2010
The Forgotten War
Hermann Joseph Hiery's The Neglected War doesn't spend very much time actually discussing World War 1. That's largely because there isn't much to discuss, as far as the locale he's focusing on. The fighting's over quickly, but there's much to discuss in what comes after.
Hiery's interest is in what were, prior to WWI, Germany's Pacific colonies. German New Guinea, Micronesia, Samoa, Nauru. He looks at how the Germans went about their administration, and compares it to the policies and actions of Australia, New Zealand and Japan once they took the colonies away, both during the war and afterward. These sections also include discussion of how the various indigenous people responded to these people ordering them around, the differences they perceived between the imperialist powers, and the actions they took in response. He feels these are overlooked areas of history, with most historians plainly stating the new rulers just kept the German systems in place. Hiery wants to demonstrate that's categorically false.
The Germans didn't do too bad a job, and this seems related to the fact Germany attached only symbolic significance to its Pacific colonies. There was no major drive to economically develop the regions (outside of copra plantations), and they either lacked the military resources or the interest in defending it*. This meant there was little pressure to develop the land, and it wasn't a place for a man to conduct actions that launch a career up a ladder. The governors were doctors, lawyers, people who had studied philosophy, and more importantly, had learned from the debacle that was Germany's East African colonies, where there had been considerable violent resistance.
The Germans made sure their laws were clearly outlined, and consistently enforced, so the people they were governing had clear understandings of what was OK, and what wasn't. Exceptions were made for people from parts of the colonies the Germans hadn't set up administrative shop in yet, and so wouldn't know the laws yet. There was no doubt the Germans were in charge, but they made few attempts to remove normal cultural practices of the people they were in charge of. They included the heads of the villages in policy making and in the day-to-day aspects of running the colony (such as appointing a person in the village to collect all fines). They tried to provide decent medical coverage, to help the natives develop their own economic interestes, rather than have all big planters be Europeans**, and encouraged education, ultimately employing the various peoples in administrative positions in the government. In fact, Wilhelm Solf, governor of Samoa, had the schools teaching in Samoan, and encouraged the Europeans to attend the school so they could speak enough Samoan to get by, which surprised me. It's all still imperialism, but it's about the nicest imperialism I've heard of, if there is such a thing. Hiery points out the system wouldn't have lasted much longer, as the educated Samoans were starting to wonder why they couldn't run things perfectly well themselves, and the young Europeans were starting to question the current situation as well. The war ended up making the Germans look better to their subjects because it abruptly ended their rule, rather than it gradually falling apart on its own, with bad feelings on both sides.
Yes, each of the powers that took over took certain actions that produced nostalgia in the natives for the Germans. The various peoples forget (or gloss over) what the Germans did they disliked (flogging, plantation owners wanting more recruiting and land, the fact the Germans were still in charge and don't you forget it), focusing instead on what the current bosses were doing that irked them. The Aussies were troublesomely inconsistent, so it was difficult for the Melanesians to figure out what they could and couldn't do. One minute the Australian soldiers are eagerly sharing supplies, they next they're raping the women, without repercussion, or any apparent concern from the people at the top. The Aussies and New Zealanders both showed little interest in educating their new subjects, or in providing health care***. In fact, once they have German New Guinea, the Australians hardly seem to pay it any mind. It's expected to be self-sufficient, so no funding is coming its way, it's basically run by the company Burns Philp, and the primary function the government sees in it is as a shield against the Japanese, who the Australians are stone-cold terrified of. There's no oversight on the people in charge in the colony, and every authority figure in German New Guinea interprets laws however they wish. It's a cesspool of corruption and cruelty which rapidly falls apart. The Aussies quickly lose control outside pretty much anywhere outside the urban areas, such as Rabaul. Collecting taxes gets harder, unrest grows, it's not a happy place.
Japan is interested in developing Micronesia, and they set to it quickly, establishing telephone lines, hospitals, providing education, and generally getting the people to see the benefit of living under Japanese rule. They aren't too different from the Germans in that regard, except the Japanese are more forceful about it, and less concerned with preserving Micronesian culture and customs. That leads to conflict, because the Germans had been OK with most customs continuing, except for things like retributional violence between villages, since that increases unrest. The Japanese do seem to have had a plan to marry as many Micronesian women to Japanese men as they could with the idea of gradually making Micronesians Japanese, in physical appearance, as well as culture.
There's a lot of racism in this book, as you might expect. Being an American, maybe I shouldn't talk, considering our country's less-than-stellar record in race relations. The Australians and New Zealanders forbid indigenous people from wearing European fashions (after the Germans had encouraged it), going so far as to confiscate European articles of clothing, and the Aussies passed a law requiring natives to wear only loincloths. Have to maintain those barriers, make it clear there are differences. After the war, as the Allies decide who gets what, as you would expect, no one bothers to ask what the people in these lands want (and all the interested parties show up with letters supposedly from the natives, saying how much better they like being ruled by the Aussies/Japanese/New Zealanders than the Germans). The Samoans tried everything nonviolent they could think of to gain self-determination, or at least more say in how their island was run. The various Administrators don't listen, send petitions to the honchos in New Zealand. That didn't work, try appealing to the Prince of Wales, he seemed nice that time he visited. Nope, well maybe the League of Nations will listen. Sorry. The impressive bit is that they keep trying, and even as various leaders are shot or arrested, they stick to nonviolent resistance.
The book talks a lot about various policies enacted, and what the reasons were (if any), but Hiery always remembers to discuss the response of the natives to these policies, and when useful to compare it to reactions either to earlier policies from the same government, or to the Germans. he discusses the measures they took, like the Samoan efforts at self-determination I mentioned, or withdrawing from the society, which happened in German New Guinea, as people fled farther into the interior to escape recruiters, or the forms of dissent, sometimes strikes, sometimes violence, though the understanding seems to have been reached that violence never worked. it just got a lot of people killed, and the folks in charge didn't care, so that accomplished nothing. He also, at the end, talks about how being ruled over by the Australians, New Zealanders, and Japanese was a learning experience for the various peoples, because it showed them not all these people outside their islands were the same. An idea of what typical European behavior is, instead becomes typical German behavior, in contrast to typical Australian behavior.
I would have liked to learn a bit more about either German rule in East Africa, or the control Neuguinea Kompanie tried to exert prior to the government assuming control of the Pacific colonies. Hiery makes it clear things went wrong in both cases, and prompted the different approach the German governors took, but I'd have liked some more details, for comparison purposes. Were the Germans lousy like the Aussies, the Japanese, or an entirely different kind of terrible overlord?
The Neglected War can be frequently depressing, but there are also moments where I felt a lot of admiration for the determination different people showed, or the desires of some of the people in charge to actually do right by the people they'd been asked to govern. Also, it was interesting to see the different approaches and emphasis different nations put on having colonies. Are they for defense, for economic exploitation, or just for show? It's not a fast read, at least it wasn't for me, considering its length, but if you have any interest at all I think you'd enjoy it.
* Despite all the holdings being islands, Germany established zero naval bases among the colonies, kept no standing garrisons on the islands, no stores of ammunition, and didn't train the civilians in how to serve as an impromptu militia. Which is why the book spends so little time on fighting, because there was hardly any. Only German new Guinea mounted any sort of resistance, and that stopped swiftly.
** Which is why several of the German plantation owners were happy when Australia took over German New Guinea. Now they were allowed to do pretty much as they wished. The joke is that the Aussies wanted the Germans to expand and improve their holdings, so the Aussies could later deport them and take their farms. I'd feel bad for the plantation owners, but they were OK with the system when it meant they could hire ex-soldiers to march in the jungle and "recruit" as many workers as they could, so to hell with them.
*** One quote I have to share, because I couldn't believe the speaker was this blunt. In 1917, Britain suggested perhaps the Australians should stop selling liquor to the islanders. The governor-general's response was, and I quote, 'I think it extremely doubtful that the Commonwealth Government would take up this matter in any way, seeing that it would to some extent provide for prolonging the lives of the coloured races.' Ronald Munro-Ferguson, everybody!
Hiery's interest is in what were, prior to WWI, Germany's Pacific colonies. German New Guinea, Micronesia, Samoa, Nauru. He looks at how the Germans went about their administration, and compares it to the policies and actions of Australia, New Zealand and Japan once they took the colonies away, both during the war and afterward. These sections also include discussion of how the various indigenous people responded to these people ordering them around, the differences they perceived between the imperialist powers, and the actions they took in response. He feels these are overlooked areas of history, with most historians plainly stating the new rulers just kept the German systems in place. Hiery wants to demonstrate that's categorically false.
The Germans didn't do too bad a job, and this seems related to the fact Germany attached only symbolic significance to its Pacific colonies. There was no major drive to economically develop the regions (outside of copra plantations), and they either lacked the military resources or the interest in defending it*. This meant there was little pressure to develop the land, and it wasn't a place for a man to conduct actions that launch a career up a ladder. The governors were doctors, lawyers, people who had studied philosophy, and more importantly, had learned from the debacle that was Germany's East African colonies, where there had been considerable violent resistance.
The Germans made sure their laws were clearly outlined, and consistently enforced, so the people they were governing had clear understandings of what was OK, and what wasn't. Exceptions were made for people from parts of the colonies the Germans hadn't set up administrative shop in yet, and so wouldn't know the laws yet. There was no doubt the Germans were in charge, but they made few attempts to remove normal cultural practices of the people they were in charge of. They included the heads of the villages in policy making and in the day-to-day aspects of running the colony (such as appointing a person in the village to collect all fines). They tried to provide decent medical coverage, to help the natives develop their own economic interestes, rather than have all big planters be Europeans**, and encouraged education, ultimately employing the various peoples in administrative positions in the government. In fact, Wilhelm Solf, governor of Samoa, had the schools teaching in Samoan, and encouraged the Europeans to attend the school so they could speak enough Samoan to get by, which surprised me. It's all still imperialism, but it's about the nicest imperialism I've heard of, if there is such a thing. Hiery points out the system wouldn't have lasted much longer, as the educated Samoans were starting to wonder why they couldn't run things perfectly well themselves, and the young Europeans were starting to question the current situation as well. The war ended up making the Germans look better to their subjects because it abruptly ended their rule, rather than it gradually falling apart on its own, with bad feelings on both sides.
Yes, each of the powers that took over took certain actions that produced nostalgia in the natives for the Germans. The various peoples forget (or gloss over) what the Germans did they disliked (flogging, plantation owners wanting more recruiting and land, the fact the Germans were still in charge and don't you forget it), focusing instead on what the current bosses were doing that irked them. The Aussies were troublesomely inconsistent, so it was difficult for the Melanesians to figure out what they could and couldn't do. One minute the Australian soldiers are eagerly sharing supplies, they next they're raping the women, without repercussion, or any apparent concern from the people at the top. The Aussies and New Zealanders both showed little interest in educating their new subjects, or in providing health care***. In fact, once they have German New Guinea, the Australians hardly seem to pay it any mind. It's expected to be self-sufficient, so no funding is coming its way, it's basically run by the company Burns Philp, and the primary function the government sees in it is as a shield against the Japanese, who the Australians are stone-cold terrified of. There's no oversight on the people in charge in the colony, and every authority figure in German New Guinea interprets laws however they wish. It's a cesspool of corruption and cruelty which rapidly falls apart. The Aussies quickly lose control outside pretty much anywhere outside the urban areas, such as Rabaul. Collecting taxes gets harder, unrest grows, it's not a happy place.
Japan is interested in developing Micronesia, and they set to it quickly, establishing telephone lines, hospitals, providing education, and generally getting the people to see the benefit of living under Japanese rule. They aren't too different from the Germans in that regard, except the Japanese are more forceful about it, and less concerned with preserving Micronesian culture and customs. That leads to conflict, because the Germans had been OK with most customs continuing, except for things like retributional violence between villages, since that increases unrest. The Japanese do seem to have had a plan to marry as many Micronesian women to Japanese men as they could with the idea of gradually making Micronesians Japanese, in physical appearance, as well as culture.
There's a lot of racism in this book, as you might expect. Being an American, maybe I shouldn't talk, considering our country's less-than-stellar record in race relations. The Australians and New Zealanders forbid indigenous people from wearing European fashions (after the Germans had encouraged it), going so far as to confiscate European articles of clothing, and the Aussies passed a law requiring natives to wear only loincloths. Have to maintain those barriers, make it clear there are differences. After the war, as the Allies decide who gets what, as you would expect, no one bothers to ask what the people in these lands want (and all the interested parties show up with letters supposedly from the natives, saying how much better they like being ruled by the Aussies/Japanese/New Zealanders than the Germans). The Samoans tried everything nonviolent they could think of to gain self-determination, or at least more say in how their island was run. The various Administrators don't listen, send petitions to the honchos in New Zealand. That didn't work, try appealing to the Prince of Wales, he seemed nice that time he visited. Nope, well maybe the League of Nations will listen. Sorry. The impressive bit is that they keep trying, and even as various leaders are shot or arrested, they stick to nonviolent resistance.
The book talks a lot about various policies enacted, and what the reasons were (if any), but Hiery always remembers to discuss the response of the natives to these policies, and when useful to compare it to reactions either to earlier policies from the same government, or to the Germans. he discusses the measures they took, like the Samoan efforts at self-determination I mentioned, or withdrawing from the society, which happened in German New Guinea, as people fled farther into the interior to escape recruiters, or the forms of dissent, sometimes strikes, sometimes violence, though the understanding seems to have been reached that violence never worked. it just got a lot of people killed, and the folks in charge didn't care, so that accomplished nothing. He also, at the end, talks about how being ruled over by the Australians, New Zealanders, and Japanese was a learning experience for the various peoples, because it showed them not all these people outside their islands were the same. An idea of what typical European behavior is, instead becomes typical German behavior, in contrast to typical Australian behavior.
I would have liked to learn a bit more about either German rule in East Africa, or the control Neuguinea Kompanie tried to exert prior to the government assuming control of the Pacific colonies. Hiery makes it clear things went wrong in both cases, and prompted the different approach the German governors took, but I'd have liked some more details, for comparison purposes. Were the Germans lousy like the Aussies, the Japanese, or an entirely different kind of terrible overlord?
The Neglected War can be frequently depressing, but there are also moments where I felt a lot of admiration for the determination different people showed, or the desires of some of the people in charge to actually do right by the people they'd been asked to govern. Also, it was interesting to see the different approaches and emphasis different nations put on having colonies. Are they for defense, for economic exploitation, or just for show? It's not a fast read, at least it wasn't for me, considering its length, but if you have any interest at all I think you'd enjoy it.
* Despite all the holdings being islands, Germany established zero naval bases among the colonies, kept no standing garrisons on the islands, no stores of ammunition, and didn't train the civilians in how to serve as an impromptu militia. Which is why the book spends so little time on fighting, because there was hardly any. Only German new Guinea mounted any sort of resistance, and that stopped swiftly.
** Which is why several of the German plantation owners were happy when Australia took over German New Guinea. Now they were allowed to do pretty much as they wished. The joke is that the Aussies wanted the Germans to expand and improve their holdings, so the Aussies could later deport them and take their farms. I'd feel bad for the plantation owners, but they were OK with the system when it meant they could hire ex-soldiers to march in the jungle and "recruit" as many workers as they could, so to hell with them.
*** One quote I have to share, because I couldn't believe the speaker was this blunt. In 1917, Britain suggested perhaps the Australians should stop selling liquor to the islanders. The governor-general's response was, and I quote, 'I think it extremely doubtful that the Commonwealth Government would take up this matter in any way, seeing that it would to some extent provide for prolonging the lives of the coloured races.' Ronald Munro-Ferguson, everybody!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Bouncing Ideas Off The Wall
What's Amanda Waller's game? She targeted the Secret Six with two apparent goals: To get Deadshot back on the Squad, and to lock the rest up (where they could be used by her at her convenience later, if necessary).
Then it turns out Waller is also Mockingbird, the person hiring the Six recently. Which means Waller (not Vandal Savage, as I theorized last fall) sent them to that prison island, and sent them to Belle Reve to be attacked by the Squad in the first place. When all was said and done, the Six weren't captured, Deadshot didn't rejoin the Squad, and Waller has a bullet too close to her heart to operate. Naturally, the Wall is not bothered by any of this.
OK, I understand her idea that now that Deadshot's made his feelings clear, he might be willing to hire back onto the Squad later. he shot her, and if Waller doesn't care, well then Floyd probably won't either. I also think I understand why she's unperturbed by the Six still running free. She can still use them (without them realizing it), and they fact they stood together against her may make them a more effective team. It's a massive, bloody, ridiculous team-building exercise.
There are still two questions I have left. One, why use the Six at all? She already has Task Force X, who she's more familiar with, has more people she trusts (assuming Waller trusts anyone), and more control over. The advantages of the Six are they only receive money, not time off jail sentences (no need to explain why so-and-so is already back on the streets), and there's an extra layer of deniability with the Six, since they could be working for anyone who'll cut them a check. Also, the Squad has a few people with scruples who might (I emphasize might) object to certain jobs (Bronze Tiger, Nightshade, maybe Rick Flag), which the Six likely will accept. So perhaps the Six are who Waller turns to when even her official hands are tied.
Second question then, why hire them for that prison job? It seems she would have to be involved somehow, since she hired them for Mr. Smyth, and he had no issues with the hire. If Waller expected them to protect the construction of the prison, she misread them. Which could happen. Amanda Waller does make mistakes. Or she was counting on the Six to dislike the job sufficiently to help bring the prison down. If that's the case, I can understand Waller sending the Six. Smyth mentioned all the Amazon prisoners were there with the express consent of the U.S. government, and Waller is too smart to openly cross them. Maybe locking every criminal in the world in that prison would cut down on her access to recruits for the Squad. Maybe she dislikes the idea of simply locking up all the world's criminals in one place. The potential for evil networking is remarkable. Or maybe she dislikes the idea of all the criminals being locked up in a place not directly under her control.
Is Checkmate still active? Waller was pretty high up the totem pole there as well, so she could be using the Six for Checkmate-related activities she either couldn't get the other honchos to sign off on, or for missions Checkmate approves of, but needs to be able to distance themselves from in the event things go wrong.
Then it turns out Waller is also Mockingbird, the person hiring the Six recently. Which means Waller (not Vandal Savage, as I theorized last fall) sent them to that prison island, and sent them to Belle Reve to be attacked by the Squad in the first place. When all was said and done, the Six weren't captured, Deadshot didn't rejoin the Squad, and Waller has a bullet too close to her heart to operate. Naturally, the Wall is not bothered by any of this.
OK, I understand her idea that now that Deadshot's made his feelings clear, he might be willing to hire back onto the Squad later. he shot her, and if Waller doesn't care, well then Floyd probably won't either. I also think I understand why she's unperturbed by the Six still running free. She can still use them (without them realizing it), and they fact they stood together against her may make them a more effective team. It's a massive, bloody, ridiculous team-building exercise.
There are still two questions I have left. One, why use the Six at all? She already has Task Force X, who she's more familiar with, has more people she trusts (assuming Waller trusts anyone), and more control over. The advantages of the Six are they only receive money, not time off jail sentences (no need to explain why so-and-so is already back on the streets), and there's an extra layer of deniability with the Six, since they could be working for anyone who'll cut them a check. Also, the Squad has a few people with scruples who might (I emphasize might) object to certain jobs (Bronze Tiger, Nightshade, maybe Rick Flag), which the Six likely will accept. So perhaps the Six are who Waller turns to when even her official hands are tied.
Second question then, why hire them for that prison job? It seems she would have to be involved somehow, since she hired them for Mr. Smyth, and he had no issues with the hire. If Waller expected them to protect the construction of the prison, she misread them. Which could happen. Amanda Waller does make mistakes. Or she was counting on the Six to dislike the job sufficiently to help bring the prison down. If that's the case, I can understand Waller sending the Six. Smyth mentioned all the Amazon prisoners were there with the express consent of the U.S. government, and Waller is too smart to openly cross them. Maybe locking every criminal in the world in that prison would cut down on her access to recruits for the Squad. Maybe she dislikes the idea of simply locking up all the world's criminals in one place. The potential for evil networking is remarkable. Or maybe she dislikes the idea of all the criminals being locked up in a place not directly under her control.
Is Checkmate still active? Waller was pretty high up the totem pole there as well, so she could be using the Six for Checkmate-related activities she either couldn't get the other honchos to sign off on, or for missions Checkmate approves of, but needs to be able to distance themselves from in the event things go wrong.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Who Can Tell With His Issues?
In Avengers vs Atlas #2, Venus halts 4/5ths of the Avengers in their tracks with a little song, as she is wont to do. We see that Thor and Dr. Blake have different ideas of who they'd like to spend the night with, that Tony Stark can't be happy with just one lady (big surprise there), and that Steve Rogers perhaps had a sweetheart while he was in France.
The one member of the team affected whose desires we don't get a glance at is Hank Pym. Safe money would be on the Wasp. Then again, there's his first wife, Marie Trovaya, from before he even discovered Pym Particles. Since her death spurred him to fight against evil, he might think of her.
I was thinking, though, about how Hank Pym always seems to struggle with self-doubt. It wasn't presented as much of an issue at the time this Hank Pym comes from, certainly not compared to in later years, but it's probably still there. So perhaps Hank wouldn't see anyone in particular. He'd worry no one loved him, and see nobody. Or his mind would create someone, probably an amalgamation of every person he'd loved, because that would just be perfect. Maybe he'd simply picture Venus, since she's singing so nicely to him. Those aren't very likely, at least not for this Pym*, but they were possibilities I thought of, since we've seen Venus' song had unexpected effects on people before.
* The Hank Pym booted from the Avengers for misconduct, or the one who came within a second of blowing his brains out would be more likely candidates.
The one member of the team affected whose desires we don't get a glance at is Hank Pym. Safe money would be on the Wasp. Then again, there's his first wife, Marie Trovaya, from before he even discovered Pym Particles. Since her death spurred him to fight against evil, he might think of her.
I was thinking, though, about how Hank Pym always seems to struggle with self-doubt. It wasn't presented as much of an issue at the time this Hank Pym comes from, certainly not compared to in later years, but it's probably still there. So perhaps Hank wouldn't see anyone in particular. He'd worry no one loved him, and see nobody. Or his mind would create someone, probably an amalgamation of every person he'd loved, because that would just be perfect. Maybe he'd simply picture Venus, since she's singing so nicely to him. Those aren't very likely, at least not for this Pym*, but they were possibilities I thought of, since we've seen Venus' song had unexpected effects on people before.
* The Hank Pym booted from the Avengers for misconduct, or the one who came within a second of blowing his brains out would be more likely candidates.
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
The Hundred Days
At one point while I was reading Patrick O'Brian's The Hundred Days, I had the idea that my review would simply be a listing of all the words or phrases I looked up after I'd finished reading it. Then it would fall to you to piece what the book was about based on the words. Upon reflection, I decided that wouldn't be fun for anyone.
So here we are. The Hundred Days is, if I counted correctly, the 19th book in O'Brian's series of novels about Jack Aubrey and his friend Stephen Maturin. The one you might be familiar with is Master and Commander, which was turned into a movie starring Russell Crowe. This is the first one of the series I've read, which does work against it at times.
Set in 1815, after Napoleon escaped from Elba and returned to Paris, the book follows Commodore Aubrey and his ship's doctor Maturin as they attempt to keep Napoleon from gaining allies in his battles. British Intelligence has learned there are some Muslim mercenaries prepared to drive a wedge between the Russian and Austrian forces slowly making their way west. The idea being they will delay those forces, allowing Napoleon to deal with Wellington and Bluecher's forces in the Low Countries. However, since these are mercs, they won't make a move until they (or their ruler) gets paid. So the goal is to stop the payment from reaching its destination, along with destroying any ships being built which might be turned over to Bonapartists, and protecting shipping.
A tall order, but Maturin is familiar with intelligence work, and he and another associate in the medical business do much of the work. Between them, they convince an undecided French captain to surrender his vessel, stir unrest amongst the workers in the shipyards, and track down where, when, and how the gold is being shipped.
The pace of the book mirrors what I would think life on a ship was like. There are long periods where nothing much happens, with sporadic outbursts of action which usually end quickly. There are certainly more pages devoted to Aubrey, Maturin, and their friends having fine dinners together on the Surprise, than there is to ship-to-ship combat. I think O'Brian's writing is simply more character-oriented, and things happen largely to reveal different facets of the characters. How does Aubrey (and Maturin's) steward, Killick react when he makes a drunken fool of himself and draws the ire of the entire ship? How does Maturin cope with the recent death of his wife, and being so far from his daughter? How does Aubrey cope with all the challenges set before him? The other possibility is O'Brian knows the battles are rather formulaic, so it's simply better to focus on the pasts of the different folks inhabiting the ship.
There are certain things I noticed I assume are an attempt to mirror the attitudes and codes of conduct of the times. Though characters die, including some the survivors knew well and had served with for some time, little time is spent in reflection on it. I imagine that death was an accepted part of service, so the sailors had grown accustomed to seeing friends pass. Oddly, the one person whose name keeps coming up is a Governor Wood of Sierra Leone, who was dead before the book even started, but was so widely known (and liked) that his passing is discussed on multiple occasions. It's strange, because he has no bearing on the story I can see, but he keeps being mentioned. The other thing was that even when someone had important information for another character, the two would waste time discussing what had gone on since they'd last seen each other, or they'd settle in for a snack of toasted cheese and wine. It seemed a startling lack of urgency, especially considering how desperately, for example, Maturin wishes to relay to Aubrey what he learned during his meetings with the Vizer and Dey.
The two bits I found most interesting were the idea of using a doctor for intelligence work, and the Hand of Glory. With the former, I assume Maturin's being a medical man provides him with colleagues the world over, it implies a certain attention to detail, and it's coupled with a knowledge of a fair number of languages, which would prove valuable. Since I'm coming into the series in the middle, I don't know if Maturin received training (I think they at least taught him ciphers, but maybe he learned it at school), but I wouldn't be surprised if they simply requested he help them, and trusted him to know how to tread carefully.
As to the Hand of Glory, Maturin's associate presents him with a preserved hand demonstrating palmar aponeurosis. They take it back to the ship to dissect it. It's quickly dubbed the Hand of Glory and considered a good luck charm. What's strange to me is the way it's described a Hand of Glory is the hand a killer uses to slash their victims throats, which is chopped off after they are hung. The idea having a dead killer's hand on the ship is a good thing strikes doesn't make much sense to me, but it leads to an amusing moment partway through, where we learn that a) sailors will drink anything, and b) to not leave hands out to dry on a table when there's a dog on the ship.
It's unclear to me whether Aubrey completing his mission did anything to hurry Napoleon's downfall. I don't believe it did, but I imagine that isn't the point. The point is he and his crew did their duty to the best of their ability, in service of the Crown. The end of the book points to Chile, which I guess is where the next book would take place, and possible issues for the main characters. It wasn't a bad book, and I greatly appreciate the vocabulary lesson, but I won't be hunting for the next one in the series. I didn't find myself invested in the characters, and maybe that's because, as I mentioned earlier, they seem so unconcerned with the death's of those around them.
So here we are. The Hundred Days is, if I counted correctly, the 19th book in O'Brian's series of novels about Jack Aubrey and his friend Stephen Maturin. The one you might be familiar with is Master and Commander, which was turned into a movie starring Russell Crowe. This is the first one of the series I've read, which does work against it at times.
Set in 1815, after Napoleon escaped from Elba and returned to Paris, the book follows Commodore Aubrey and his ship's doctor Maturin as they attempt to keep Napoleon from gaining allies in his battles. British Intelligence has learned there are some Muslim mercenaries prepared to drive a wedge between the Russian and Austrian forces slowly making their way west. The idea being they will delay those forces, allowing Napoleon to deal with Wellington and Bluecher's forces in the Low Countries. However, since these are mercs, they won't make a move until they (or their ruler) gets paid. So the goal is to stop the payment from reaching its destination, along with destroying any ships being built which might be turned over to Bonapartists, and protecting shipping.
A tall order, but Maturin is familiar with intelligence work, and he and another associate in the medical business do much of the work. Between them, they convince an undecided French captain to surrender his vessel, stir unrest amongst the workers in the shipyards, and track down where, when, and how the gold is being shipped.
The pace of the book mirrors what I would think life on a ship was like. There are long periods where nothing much happens, with sporadic outbursts of action which usually end quickly. There are certainly more pages devoted to Aubrey, Maturin, and their friends having fine dinners together on the Surprise, than there is to ship-to-ship combat. I think O'Brian's writing is simply more character-oriented, and things happen largely to reveal different facets of the characters. How does Aubrey (and Maturin's) steward, Killick react when he makes a drunken fool of himself and draws the ire of the entire ship? How does Maturin cope with the recent death of his wife, and being so far from his daughter? How does Aubrey cope with all the challenges set before him? The other possibility is O'Brian knows the battles are rather formulaic, so it's simply better to focus on the pasts of the different folks inhabiting the ship.
There are certain things I noticed I assume are an attempt to mirror the attitudes and codes of conduct of the times. Though characters die, including some the survivors knew well and had served with for some time, little time is spent in reflection on it. I imagine that death was an accepted part of service, so the sailors had grown accustomed to seeing friends pass. Oddly, the one person whose name keeps coming up is a Governor Wood of Sierra Leone, who was dead before the book even started, but was so widely known (and liked) that his passing is discussed on multiple occasions. It's strange, because he has no bearing on the story I can see, but he keeps being mentioned. The other thing was that even when someone had important information for another character, the two would waste time discussing what had gone on since they'd last seen each other, or they'd settle in for a snack of toasted cheese and wine. It seemed a startling lack of urgency, especially considering how desperately, for example, Maturin wishes to relay to Aubrey what he learned during his meetings with the Vizer and Dey.
The two bits I found most interesting were the idea of using a doctor for intelligence work, and the Hand of Glory. With the former, I assume Maturin's being a medical man provides him with colleagues the world over, it implies a certain attention to detail, and it's coupled with a knowledge of a fair number of languages, which would prove valuable. Since I'm coming into the series in the middle, I don't know if Maturin received training (I think they at least taught him ciphers, but maybe he learned it at school), but I wouldn't be surprised if they simply requested he help them, and trusted him to know how to tread carefully.
As to the Hand of Glory, Maturin's associate presents him with a preserved hand demonstrating palmar aponeurosis. They take it back to the ship to dissect it. It's quickly dubbed the Hand of Glory and considered a good luck charm. What's strange to me is the way it's described a Hand of Glory is the hand a killer uses to slash their victims throats, which is chopped off after they are hung. The idea having a dead killer's hand on the ship is a good thing strikes doesn't make much sense to me, but it leads to an amusing moment partway through, where we learn that a) sailors will drink anything, and b) to not leave hands out to dry on a table when there's a dog on the ship.
It's unclear to me whether Aubrey completing his mission did anything to hurry Napoleon's downfall. I don't believe it did, but I imagine that isn't the point. The point is he and his crew did their duty to the best of their ability, in service of the Crown. The end of the book points to Chile, which I guess is where the next book would take place, and possible issues for the main characters. It wasn't a bad book, and I greatly appreciate the vocabulary lesson, but I won't be hunting for the next one in the series. I didn't find myself invested in the characters, and maybe that's because, as I mentioned earlier, they seem so unconcerned with the death's of those around them.
Monday, March 08, 2010
Now Try Saying It Without The Bruises
Near the end of Amazing Spider-Man #621, Mr. Negative arrives in an alley he believes Spider-Man is in. He finds only a piece of Spidey's costume. Negative, knowing Spider-Man is somewhere nearby, launches into this bit about how by his code of honor, he has to really bring the hammer down on the web-slinger, now that Spider-Man had the temerity to invade his home.
From some unseen position, Spider-Man fires back that according to his code, he has to take Mr. negative's plans, and feed them back to him even worse. His reason being, Mr. negative invaded his home first. Mr. Negative is confused, until Spider-Man explains that by "home", he meant New York. That's just like an only child, to claim everything in sight belongs to them.
Well, that's a nice proclamation from our hero, vowing to defend his city from the crime lord. Describing what he'll do as taking 'whatever you're planning and give it back to you in IMAX 3-D' was a little clunky, but I guess something like "give it back to you tenfold" would have sounded more villainous. The only problem is, Spider-Man doesn't seem to be speaking from a position of strength at the moment.
Yes, as he and Negative are having their little chat, Black Cat is stealing back the vial of Spider-Man's blood Mr. Negative had, meaning he won't be able to make anymore of his special poison gas that's only toxic to people who share DNA with Spider-Man. That does help Spider-Man a bit. Still, the reason Mr. Negative was looking for Spider-Man in that alley is because he put him there. Spidey took a swing at, Negative blocked it with one hand, then hit Spider-Man with that same palm and sent him through, by Spider-Man's account 'two windows and three walls'.
While Mr. Negative might be slightly surprised that Spider-Man not only survived the hit, but is already up, moving, and still determined to stop him, I don't see that he would be terribly concerned. "You're going to stop me, Spider-Man? The way you stopped my hand with your face?" Well, Mr. Negative would say something better than that, but the same principle applies.
Maybe it works better if I think of it as Spider-Man speaking to the audience, letting them know he was caught off guard, but he's not out of the fight. I think Roger Stern and Tom DeFalco did the same thing at points in their Spider-Man versus the Juggernaut and Firelord (respectively) stories. Spider-Man would be swinging into battle, having struggled to survive to that point, but vowing to stop the other guy, no matter what. The antagonist was nowhere nearby in those cases, so he was speaking to himself, and to us. In this case, he's making this promise to the villain, who had previously dealt with him with ease. It doesn't work as well.
From some unseen position, Spider-Man fires back that according to his code, he has to take Mr. negative's plans, and feed them back to him even worse. His reason being, Mr. negative invaded his home first. Mr. Negative is confused, until Spider-Man explains that by "home", he meant New York. That's just like an only child, to claim everything in sight belongs to them.
Well, that's a nice proclamation from our hero, vowing to defend his city from the crime lord. Describing what he'll do as taking 'whatever you're planning and give it back to you in IMAX 3-D' was a little clunky, but I guess something like "give it back to you tenfold" would have sounded more villainous. The only problem is, Spider-Man doesn't seem to be speaking from a position of strength at the moment.
Yes, as he and Negative are having their little chat, Black Cat is stealing back the vial of Spider-Man's blood Mr. Negative had, meaning he won't be able to make anymore of his special poison gas that's only toxic to people who share DNA with Spider-Man. That does help Spider-Man a bit. Still, the reason Mr. Negative was looking for Spider-Man in that alley is because he put him there. Spidey took a swing at, Negative blocked it with one hand, then hit Spider-Man with that same palm and sent him through, by Spider-Man's account 'two windows and three walls'.
While Mr. Negative might be slightly surprised that Spider-Man not only survived the hit, but is already up, moving, and still determined to stop him, I don't see that he would be terribly concerned. "You're going to stop me, Spider-Man? The way you stopped my hand with your face?" Well, Mr. Negative would say something better than that, but the same principle applies.
Maybe it works better if I think of it as Spider-Man speaking to the audience, letting them know he was caught off guard, but he's not out of the fight. I think Roger Stern and Tom DeFalco did the same thing at points in their Spider-Man versus the Juggernaut and Firelord (respectively) stories. Spider-Man would be swinging into battle, having struggled to survive to that point, but vowing to stop the other guy, no matter what. The antagonist was nowhere nearby in those cases, so he was speaking to himself, and to us. In this case, he's making this promise to the villain, who had previously dealt with him with ease. It doesn't work as well.
Sunday, March 07, 2010
Odder All The Time
I figured I'd talk about today's selections together, since it's the same character by the same author. So there's Dean Koontz' Odd Thomas, and then the comic he did with Queenie Chan, In Odd We Trust. Since the comic is set earlier, I'll start with it.
Odd Thomas lives in the town of Pico Mundo, in California. He's a fry cook, who tries to help the ghosts he sees as best he can. He sees the ghost of a young boy who has killed during a home intrusion, and sets about trying to find and stop said killer before they strike again. His girlfriend, Stormy, is eager to lend aid (she doesn't share Odd's hang-ups about guns), and he's on good terms with the chief of police, who is also aware of Odd's abilities and trusts his advice.
The plot is a thin. There's really only one suspect, though there was a brief time where it seemed Koontz and Chan are trying to convince me Stormy's friend, Sherry, actually killed the boy she was sitting, but that's quickly dispensed with. Odd and Stormy come face-to-face with the killer, but without evidence, can't do anything to him. Odd gets faked out by the killer, which seems to happen to Odd a lot. Odd may help the police, but he doesn't have any formal training in detection, so he can be lead by the nose if you knows he's on your trail. The killer gets his comeuppance, but in such a way none of the protagonists end up with blood on their hands.
It's a little strange to see pictures of characters I only know from books, because the pictures don't usually match up with the image in my head. I'm finding now that the comic's version are starting to overwrite the versions I had, but maybe that's because I'm thinking about the comic. I may have to read one of the other books in the series and see what I visualize.
I didn't initially like Queenie Chan's version of Odd, probably because it clashed with my vision, but it grew on me. Odd is an upbeat guy who tends to get along with others if given a chance. He didn't ask for this ability, but he uses it the best he can, and he considers it a gift. A fellow like that should have an open, cheerful face. Her Stormy's eyes are somehow different from everyone else's. Her irises seem to have lighter rings within the darker color, while most of the other characters tend to have solid colors. it draws my eye to it, and gives the impression there's more going on there than you might think at first glance, which is what you might expect of Odd. But he's pretty much who he appears, while Stormy keeps more hidden.
A couple of stylistic bits I liked. During the action scenes, Chan tends to have panels that are the width of the page at the bottom, and they're taller at one side than the other, with the effect alternating from one side of the page to the other. It works quite well for guiding the eye from one panel to the next, though sometimes I reached the bottom of the page, and I was on the wrong side, so it wasn't leading my eye to the next page. Still a nice effect within a given page. Also, during tense conversations, she tends to go for more panels, not necessarily to accommodate the increased dialogue, more to narrow the focus. More close-ups of faces, or hands, or relevant clues. I think it's meant to represent the character's narrowing their focus to only what's directly in front of them in a difficult moment.
Two touches I didn't understand. At times, characters will be standing, and there's an area of white space around them. A little further away and the background is visible, but immediately around them, nothing. Maybe it's meant to make them the focus of my attention? The other thing was that sometimes a character will be speaking, and the entire panel background is white, except for a bit of checkerboard pattern, either at the top of the panel, or the bottom. It usually only covers a 1/3 of the background and then stops. It may be trying to guide the eye, but I'm not sure.
One scene that completely lost me. Odd is reading several creepy letters Sherry received prior to the death of the boy. Odd looks over them, with the panels cutting between views of his face and parts of the letters. When he's finished, Odd says he thinks the killer will strike again by August 26, or 4 days. How he came to that conclusion, I have no idea. It seems out of line with how his powers are normally presented to make that sort of deduction. One of the letters mentions a book about a child killer who killed 6 girls, but claimed he killed 27, so maybe Odd replaced the 7 with the 6?
OK, let's hop to Odd Thomas for a bit, which is a straight up novel. Odd wakes up one morning, and almost immediately has to help a young girl ghost by catching her killer. Which he does. He heads to work, and while there an unusual man enters. Unusual because he orders a lot of food for just himself, but also because he's very interesting to the bodachs. The bodachs are wraithlike creatures that show up when there's about to be death. The name was provided by a young boy Odd met who could also see the dead, who died five minutes later. Even though the bodachs have no physical presence, Odd would prefer they not realize he can see them, just in case.
He alerts the Chief, who puts a tail on the man (who Odd dubs Fungus Man), while Odd sets out to do some investigating of his own. He finds some disturbing things inside the man's house, including a room light can't penetrate, that also can move one through time. The room later becomes an ordinary study. No explanation for its earlier strangeness is conclusively determined. Odd and Stormy soon find themselves being followed by the man, but manage to elude him, while Chief Porter takes precautions to guard against a slaughter against a bowling alley (Odd's been having nightmares about such a thing for a while).
Things start to go awry, as Odd finds the man he feared was a killer dead. In Odd's shower no less. Which leaves Odd scrambling to not only avoid getting a murder pinned on him, but also find who is really planning the slaughter. He knows it hasn't been averted because the bodachs are growing in number all the time. So he has to get it in gear and save the day as best he can.
The book spends a bit more time describing Odd's life, and those of his friends. So we get to know them and what makes them tick, and other than Chief Porter, they all have problems. Lost loved ones, estrangement from family, or abuse in their pasts. Odd's parents in particular, are a pair of losers. The father's a hedonist trying to hide from work and the fact he's aging, and Odd's mother is fine as long as you request nothing of her. If you so much as ask her to help you talk through something, she flips. Which makes it all the more interesting Odd uses his powers to help people. Someone must have helped him develop a sense of responsibility to others, but I'm not sure who. I'm not certain Koontz should have devoted two chapters right near the climax to introducing us to Odd's parents, though. The whole time he's trying to get them to help him through this block he has, he's cognizant of how close the time everything's going to go to hell probably is, but he keeps on this path. If I didn't know he was the hero, and so would have to arrive in time to do something, I'd have worried he was going to miss everything.
Consistent with the comic is that odd, for whatever powers he does have, is no genius. His powers can only do so much, and he's involved in a supernatural world he doesn't understand at all. That means whatever rules or advantages he may think he has, may not actually exist. So it makes a certain amount of sense how he gets outflanked by his opponents. He's making things up as he goes along, they've put considerable planning into their work, and they know more about their plans than he does, obviously.
While I found it kind of interesting to read one of these stories in comic form, I think the book was better. It had more time for character development, even if I don't think that development was well-placed all the time.
Odd Thomas lives in the town of Pico Mundo, in California. He's a fry cook, who tries to help the ghosts he sees as best he can. He sees the ghost of a young boy who has killed during a home intrusion, and sets about trying to find and stop said killer before they strike again. His girlfriend, Stormy, is eager to lend aid (she doesn't share Odd's hang-ups about guns), and he's on good terms with the chief of police, who is also aware of Odd's abilities and trusts his advice.
The plot is a thin. There's really only one suspect, though there was a brief time where it seemed Koontz and Chan are trying to convince me Stormy's friend, Sherry, actually killed the boy she was sitting, but that's quickly dispensed with. Odd and Stormy come face-to-face with the killer, but without evidence, can't do anything to him. Odd gets faked out by the killer, which seems to happen to Odd a lot. Odd may help the police, but he doesn't have any formal training in detection, so he can be lead by the nose if you knows he's on your trail. The killer gets his comeuppance, but in such a way none of the protagonists end up with blood on their hands.
It's a little strange to see pictures of characters I only know from books, because the pictures don't usually match up with the image in my head. I'm finding now that the comic's version are starting to overwrite the versions I had, but maybe that's because I'm thinking about the comic. I may have to read one of the other books in the series and see what I visualize.
I didn't initially like Queenie Chan's version of Odd, probably because it clashed with my vision, but it grew on me. Odd is an upbeat guy who tends to get along with others if given a chance. He didn't ask for this ability, but he uses it the best he can, and he considers it a gift. A fellow like that should have an open, cheerful face. Her Stormy's eyes are somehow different from everyone else's. Her irises seem to have lighter rings within the darker color, while most of the other characters tend to have solid colors. it draws my eye to it, and gives the impression there's more going on there than you might think at first glance, which is what you might expect of Odd. But he's pretty much who he appears, while Stormy keeps more hidden.
A couple of stylistic bits I liked. During the action scenes, Chan tends to have panels that are the width of the page at the bottom, and they're taller at one side than the other, with the effect alternating from one side of the page to the other. It works quite well for guiding the eye from one panel to the next, though sometimes I reached the bottom of the page, and I was on the wrong side, so it wasn't leading my eye to the next page. Still a nice effect within a given page. Also, during tense conversations, she tends to go for more panels, not necessarily to accommodate the increased dialogue, more to narrow the focus. More close-ups of faces, or hands, or relevant clues. I think it's meant to represent the character's narrowing their focus to only what's directly in front of them in a difficult moment.
Two touches I didn't understand. At times, characters will be standing, and there's an area of white space around them. A little further away and the background is visible, but immediately around them, nothing. Maybe it's meant to make them the focus of my attention? The other thing was that sometimes a character will be speaking, and the entire panel background is white, except for a bit of checkerboard pattern, either at the top of the panel, or the bottom. It usually only covers a 1/3 of the background and then stops. It may be trying to guide the eye, but I'm not sure.
One scene that completely lost me. Odd is reading several creepy letters Sherry received prior to the death of the boy. Odd looks over them, with the panels cutting between views of his face and parts of the letters. When he's finished, Odd says he thinks the killer will strike again by August 26, or 4 days. How he came to that conclusion, I have no idea. It seems out of line with how his powers are normally presented to make that sort of deduction. One of the letters mentions a book about a child killer who killed 6 girls, but claimed he killed 27, so maybe Odd replaced the 7 with the 6?
OK, let's hop to Odd Thomas for a bit, which is a straight up novel. Odd wakes up one morning, and almost immediately has to help a young girl ghost by catching her killer. Which he does. He heads to work, and while there an unusual man enters. Unusual because he orders a lot of food for just himself, but also because he's very interesting to the bodachs. The bodachs are wraithlike creatures that show up when there's about to be death. The name was provided by a young boy Odd met who could also see the dead, who died five minutes later. Even though the bodachs have no physical presence, Odd would prefer they not realize he can see them, just in case.
He alerts the Chief, who puts a tail on the man (who Odd dubs Fungus Man), while Odd sets out to do some investigating of his own. He finds some disturbing things inside the man's house, including a room light can't penetrate, that also can move one through time. The room later becomes an ordinary study. No explanation for its earlier strangeness is conclusively determined. Odd and Stormy soon find themselves being followed by the man, but manage to elude him, while Chief Porter takes precautions to guard against a slaughter against a bowling alley (Odd's been having nightmares about such a thing for a while).
Things start to go awry, as Odd finds the man he feared was a killer dead. In Odd's shower no less. Which leaves Odd scrambling to not only avoid getting a murder pinned on him, but also find who is really planning the slaughter. He knows it hasn't been averted because the bodachs are growing in number all the time. So he has to get it in gear and save the day as best he can.
The book spends a bit more time describing Odd's life, and those of his friends. So we get to know them and what makes them tick, and other than Chief Porter, they all have problems. Lost loved ones, estrangement from family, or abuse in their pasts. Odd's parents in particular, are a pair of losers. The father's a hedonist trying to hide from work and the fact he's aging, and Odd's mother is fine as long as you request nothing of her. If you so much as ask her to help you talk through something, she flips. Which makes it all the more interesting Odd uses his powers to help people. Someone must have helped him develop a sense of responsibility to others, but I'm not sure who. I'm not certain Koontz should have devoted two chapters right near the climax to introducing us to Odd's parents, though. The whole time he's trying to get them to help him through this block he has, he's cognizant of how close the time everything's going to go to hell probably is, but he keeps on this path. If I didn't know he was the hero, and so would have to arrive in time to do something, I'd have worried he was going to miss everything.
Consistent with the comic is that odd, for whatever powers he does have, is no genius. His powers can only do so much, and he's involved in a supernatural world he doesn't understand at all. That means whatever rules or advantages he may think he has, may not actually exist. So it makes a certain amount of sense how he gets outflanked by his opponents. He's making things up as he goes along, they've put considerable planning into their work, and they know more about their plans than he does, obviously.
While I found it kind of interesting to read one of these stories in comic form, I think the book was better. It had more time for character development, even if I don't think that development was well-placed all the time.
Saturday, March 06, 2010
You Wascally Awachnid!
I'd like to start by showing you this page from Amazing Spider-Man #620. I guess I have to thanks scans daily for it, since my attempt to take a photo of my copy didn't turn out well. I wish I remembered not to read comments on any of the posts, but what's done is done. Anyway, the page:
Nice, isn't it? Marcos Martin, you are a wonder. I especially like the middle panel, with Mysterio (minus his costume, obviously) and his exasperated look, saying 'I hate you.' That's actually where this post comes from. Reading that panel, my mind flashed to Daffy Duck, because it's the sort of reaction he'd have right before he was hit by a rock or a blast from Elmer's shotgun. Not the Huge Eyes of Terror look, but the one of resignation that follows it, when he quietly accepts the Pain Train's coming. Combine it with the fact his big strike against our hero (the surface-to-air* missile) is deftly turned around on him by our hero, and it starts to feel a bit like Looney Tunes. How often did one of Wile E. Coyote's (or Sylvester's, Daffy's, Sam's, etc.) masterstrokes come back on them, with little effort from our hero? That's right, every time**.
Then you have all the Maggia guys that appear to be dying from gunshots or getting punched, but they're really OK. It's not precisely the same, since the toons really do get shot, it just doesn't hurt them, while these lackeys are faking, but it's sort of similar. You think they died, but nope, they're OK. Mr. Negative's inner demons fit even moreso, since they really can't die. No matter what you do, they'll be OK***. As Spidey noted the next issue, he can hit them as hard as they like, and it doesn't matter, they'll bounce back.
There was the part just before the missile bit, where Mysterio believes he's escaped, but nope, there's Spider-Man climbing onto the boat, to Mysterio's consternation. It's not precisely the same, but I could see a little similarity to those Droopy cartoons (not Looney Tunes, I know, but roll with it, please). The evil wolf believes he's escaped, then turns, and there's Droopy, waiting patiently for him****. No matter how far that wolf runs, Droopy's always there. It falls apart at that point, since Mysterio actually did wind up escaping, but I imagine Spider-Man will catch him at some point. Hopefully.
Add Mysterio's overacting to the mix. I don't have a scan for it, but if you get a chance, check out Mysterio's gyrations when he controls his Silvermane robot and starts acting as though its power source is overloading. It reminds me of those old Westerns where the guy on the balcony is shot, clutches his stomach, groans, staggers, groans some more, then pitches himself screaming over the railing. Only moreso. If "Silvermane" was acting out of these movements, I'm surprised Mr. Negative didn't rush over and cradle him, sobbing 'Pwease, Pwease don't die Mr. Wabbit, I mean, Cyborg!'
I feel like I'm being mean. That's not my intention. I don't think this is the reaction Slott and Martin were going for. I have the impression we're supposed to feel the same sense of unease and unreality Spidey was feeling, as he couldn't determine what was real and what wasn't. It's just that 'I hate you' triggered all this, and I found it amusing, and here we are. Until tomorrow.
* Mysterio calls it a surface-to-air missile, but he's aiming it at the police stationed on the dock. Which makes it a surface-to-surface missile, doesn't it? Sure, he can probably fire it at flying targets if necessary, but that's not how he's planning to use it.
** Excluding that episode where Elmer took over animator duties for a Bugs Bunny cartoon.
*** I wonder how true that is. If the Silver Surfer atomized them with a blast of the Power Cosmic, would they somehow reform? Negative told them to cut off whatever was broken or trapped under rubble, from which I infer they regenerate, but what's the upper limit on that trick?
**** Droopy was sadistic, wasn't it? His preferred method was to hound the bad guy until he finally loses his mind and runs screaming to any authority figure that would protect him. I know they were always bad guys, but jeez. Was Droopy supposed to be the manifestation of their guilt over their actions, and that's why they couldn't escape?
Nice, isn't it? Marcos Martin, you are a wonder. I especially like the middle panel, with Mysterio (minus his costume, obviously) and his exasperated look, saying 'I hate you.' That's actually where this post comes from. Reading that panel, my mind flashed to Daffy Duck, because it's the sort of reaction he'd have right before he was hit by a rock or a blast from Elmer's shotgun. Not the Huge Eyes of Terror look, but the one of resignation that follows it, when he quietly accepts the Pain Train's coming. Combine it with the fact his big strike against our hero (the surface-to-air* missile) is deftly turned around on him by our hero, and it starts to feel a bit like Looney Tunes. How often did one of Wile E. Coyote's (or Sylvester's, Daffy's, Sam's, etc.) masterstrokes come back on them, with little effort from our hero? That's right, every time**.
Then you have all the Maggia guys that appear to be dying from gunshots or getting punched, but they're really OK. It's not precisely the same, since the toons really do get shot, it just doesn't hurt them, while these lackeys are faking, but it's sort of similar. You think they died, but nope, they're OK. Mr. Negative's inner demons fit even moreso, since they really can't die. No matter what you do, they'll be OK***. As Spidey noted the next issue, he can hit them as hard as they like, and it doesn't matter, they'll bounce back.
There was the part just before the missile bit, where Mysterio believes he's escaped, but nope, there's Spider-Man climbing onto the boat, to Mysterio's consternation. It's not precisely the same, but I could see a little similarity to those Droopy cartoons (not Looney Tunes, I know, but roll with it, please). The evil wolf believes he's escaped, then turns, and there's Droopy, waiting patiently for him****. No matter how far that wolf runs, Droopy's always there. It falls apart at that point, since Mysterio actually did wind up escaping, but I imagine Spider-Man will catch him at some point. Hopefully.
Add Mysterio's overacting to the mix. I don't have a scan for it, but if you get a chance, check out Mysterio's gyrations when he controls his Silvermane robot and starts acting as though its power source is overloading. It reminds me of those old Westerns where the guy on the balcony is shot, clutches his stomach, groans, staggers, groans some more, then pitches himself screaming over the railing. Only moreso. If "Silvermane" was acting out of these movements, I'm surprised Mr. Negative didn't rush over and cradle him, sobbing 'Pwease, Pwease don't die Mr. Wabbit, I mean, Cyborg!'
I feel like I'm being mean. That's not my intention. I don't think this is the reaction Slott and Martin were going for. I have the impression we're supposed to feel the same sense of unease and unreality Spidey was feeling, as he couldn't determine what was real and what wasn't. It's just that 'I hate you' triggered all this, and I found it amusing, and here we are. Until tomorrow.
* Mysterio calls it a surface-to-air missile, but he's aiming it at the police stationed on the dock. Which makes it a surface-to-surface missile, doesn't it? Sure, he can probably fire it at flying targets if necessary, but that's not how he's planning to use it.
** Excluding that episode where Elmer took over animator duties for a Bugs Bunny cartoon.
*** I wonder how true that is. If the Silver Surfer atomized them with a blast of the Power Cosmic, would they somehow reform? Negative told them to cut off whatever was broken or trapped under rubble, from which I infer they regenerate, but what's the upper limit on that trick?
**** Droopy was sadistic, wasn't it? His preferred method was to hound the bad guy until he finally loses his mind and runs screaming to any authority figure that would protect him. I know they were always bad guys, but jeez. Was Droopy supposed to be the manifestation of their guilt over their actions, and that's why they couldn't escape?
Friday, March 05, 2010
Don't Call It Black Magic; They Hate That Term
Sometimes (OK, frequently), I want to read something quick and entertaining. Enter Martin Caidin's Indiana Jones and the White Witch, which succeeds on both counts.
It's 1930, and Indy's in England on sabbatical, learning to fly a plane under the tutelage of Gale Parker. While flying (and upchucking) over the town of St. Brendan Glen, Indy notices the town is under attack. As Gale grew up there, they land and rush to the scene. They learn an armed group showed up, seeking a map they were more than willing to kill for. A map leading to a considerable quantity of gold, in bar, statue, and early Christianity vintage coin form. So Indy and Gale are asked to do all they can to find this gold before the man responsible for the attack, Konstantin LeBlanc Cordas.
The situation is complicated by a couple of factors. One, the map (both copies of it) has only landmarks drawn on it, but no names. Two, St. Brendan Glen is home to some powerful forces, and people who know how to use them, including Gale and her friend Caitlin. The people there are Wiccan, so they tend to be in tune with the world around them, and can manipulate as needed. Also, Caitlin's the current wielder of a sword pretty well-known in Arthurian legends (Folklore? Mythology?), and she's honor bound to use it against the people responsible.
I imagine it had to be tricky for writers to tell stories with characters people are familiar with from movies, since the reader compares what they're reading to what they've seen on the screen. Or perhaps I'm the only one who does that. It would be easier for the writers if I am, since throughout the book, I was picturing Indy's dialogue, or the facial expressions described, with Harrison Ford. Plus, I was trying to decide whether his actions were what I'd expect of Indiana Jones.
The good news is, I think Caidin did a good job with Indy. I wound up attributing anything that didn't seem quite right to the fact this Indy is five years younger than the Indiana Jones of any of the movies*. So I figured he might be more impatient with people, less experienced, and less concerned with conserving his energy. For example, he and Gale end up on the Graf Zeppelin as it crosses the Atlantic, and Caidin describes Indy as being somewhat awed by the experience, which struck me as strange, but I remembered this Indy hadn't ridden in one before, so it probably is a strange experience. I've never ridden in a zeppelin, so I can't say.
Also, this Indy likes to cut people's faces with his whip. In his defense, the second time he was fighting on the Zeppelin, which means, hydrogen, which means he couldn't use a gun, and the first time it was a guy who had socked him around pretty good. However, it's made clear in the first case that he views it as payback for the beating he took, which seems like an exertion an older Indy wouldn't bother with. He'd just tie the guy up (or kill him) as quickly as he could, to be done with it. In a way, it reminds me of Bond in Casino Royale, where I watched and was surprised how quickly he resorted to shooting people. That was a younger, less experienced James Bond, and this is a younger Indiana Jones, so if nothing else, I was able to make it work in my mind.
Another interesting bit was the opportunity to see Indy have time to come up with a real plan for dealing with the enemy. In the movies, he usually has to come up with something on the fly, because the Ark's speeding away on a truck, or his father's trapped inside a tank. Here, he's able to use the resources he has to stall the villains until he can put a specific plan into action. A plan which relies on Indy's knowledge of history and local customs, rather than his whip or fists. It's a nice change of pace.
One issue I have with the book comes from it being part of a series, and this being only one book in said series. Gale Parker, Cordas, Indy's friend in MI5, and Sir William Pencroft are all recurring characters. In most cases, Caidin takes a little time to outline their relationship to Indy, even if it's simply "Friend", and their basic personality (for Pencroft that would be "crotchety and mischievous"). Gale has the most fleshing out, probably because she's actively in the story the most. I have an idea of how she starts her day, what riles her or makes her happy, what interests her, so that's good. The exception is Cordas. Reading the story, I'm fairly sure he and Indy had clashed before, but the details aren't there. Cordas only speaks to them at the very end, and not very much then. I know he was presumed dead, but isn't, he's rebuilding his organization, he wants the gold, and he'll kill to get it, but not much besides that. What's he want it for specifically? What's his organization about? What's his personality? He works as a shadowy presence, one the heroes either can't see, or can't touch if they can, but when it comes to the final confrontation, his lack of dimensions takes some of the wind out of it. There are also a couple of characters who serve little purpose in the story (Vatican agent Matteo Di Palma) that I think Caidin was introducing in preparation for later stories. It's not too distracting, though I kept waiting for Di Palma to do something, because the story still works perfectly well on its own. It would probably work better if read in order with the others.
Ending on a positive note, the story was educational. I think that aspect was part of what Caidin enjoyed most about writing the story, as there's an afterword where he discusses some of the topics brought up in the story. These include Arthurian legends, about both Avalon and Excalibur, about Stonehenge and phenomena Caidin's observed there. He talks about the actual Graf Zeppelin, about the British offering gold and convoy protection to the Confederacy for cotton, and finally about the Moebius strip, which Indy uses to explain an odd situation he and some of the other characters are experiencing. Per Caidin's instructions, I tried, and it's awesome how a piece of paper can be made to only have one side.
* Excluding the 1912 sequence with Young Indy at the start of The Last Crusade, Temple of Doom is set the earliest, 1935 according to Wikipedia. For some reason, I thought it was 1933.
It's 1930, and Indy's in England on sabbatical, learning to fly a plane under the tutelage of Gale Parker. While flying (and upchucking) over the town of St. Brendan Glen, Indy notices the town is under attack. As Gale grew up there, they land and rush to the scene. They learn an armed group showed up, seeking a map they were more than willing to kill for. A map leading to a considerable quantity of gold, in bar, statue, and early Christianity vintage coin form. So Indy and Gale are asked to do all they can to find this gold before the man responsible for the attack, Konstantin LeBlanc Cordas.
The situation is complicated by a couple of factors. One, the map (both copies of it) has only landmarks drawn on it, but no names. Two, St. Brendan Glen is home to some powerful forces, and people who know how to use them, including Gale and her friend Caitlin. The people there are Wiccan, so they tend to be in tune with the world around them, and can manipulate as needed. Also, Caitlin's the current wielder of a sword pretty well-known in Arthurian legends (Folklore? Mythology?), and she's honor bound to use it against the people responsible.
I imagine it had to be tricky for writers to tell stories with characters people are familiar with from movies, since the reader compares what they're reading to what they've seen on the screen. Or perhaps I'm the only one who does that. It would be easier for the writers if I am, since throughout the book, I was picturing Indy's dialogue, or the facial expressions described, with Harrison Ford. Plus, I was trying to decide whether his actions were what I'd expect of Indiana Jones.
The good news is, I think Caidin did a good job with Indy. I wound up attributing anything that didn't seem quite right to the fact this Indy is five years younger than the Indiana Jones of any of the movies*. So I figured he might be more impatient with people, less experienced, and less concerned with conserving his energy. For example, he and Gale end up on the Graf Zeppelin as it crosses the Atlantic, and Caidin describes Indy as being somewhat awed by the experience, which struck me as strange, but I remembered this Indy hadn't ridden in one before, so it probably is a strange experience. I've never ridden in a zeppelin, so I can't say.
Also, this Indy likes to cut people's faces with his whip. In his defense, the second time he was fighting on the Zeppelin, which means, hydrogen, which means he couldn't use a gun, and the first time it was a guy who had socked him around pretty good. However, it's made clear in the first case that he views it as payback for the beating he took, which seems like an exertion an older Indy wouldn't bother with. He'd just tie the guy up (or kill him) as quickly as he could, to be done with it. In a way, it reminds me of Bond in Casino Royale, where I watched and was surprised how quickly he resorted to shooting people. That was a younger, less experienced James Bond, and this is a younger Indiana Jones, so if nothing else, I was able to make it work in my mind.
Another interesting bit was the opportunity to see Indy have time to come up with a real plan for dealing with the enemy. In the movies, he usually has to come up with something on the fly, because the Ark's speeding away on a truck, or his father's trapped inside a tank. Here, he's able to use the resources he has to stall the villains until he can put a specific plan into action. A plan which relies on Indy's knowledge of history and local customs, rather than his whip or fists. It's a nice change of pace.
One issue I have with the book comes from it being part of a series, and this being only one book in said series. Gale Parker, Cordas, Indy's friend in MI5, and Sir William Pencroft are all recurring characters. In most cases, Caidin takes a little time to outline their relationship to Indy, even if it's simply "Friend", and their basic personality (for Pencroft that would be "crotchety and mischievous"). Gale has the most fleshing out, probably because she's actively in the story the most. I have an idea of how she starts her day, what riles her or makes her happy, what interests her, so that's good. The exception is Cordas. Reading the story, I'm fairly sure he and Indy had clashed before, but the details aren't there. Cordas only speaks to them at the very end, and not very much then. I know he was presumed dead, but isn't, he's rebuilding his organization, he wants the gold, and he'll kill to get it, but not much besides that. What's he want it for specifically? What's his organization about? What's his personality? He works as a shadowy presence, one the heroes either can't see, or can't touch if they can, but when it comes to the final confrontation, his lack of dimensions takes some of the wind out of it. There are also a couple of characters who serve little purpose in the story (Vatican agent Matteo Di Palma) that I think Caidin was introducing in preparation for later stories. It's not too distracting, though I kept waiting for Di Palma to do something, because the story still works perfectly well on its own. It would probably work better if read in order with the others.
Ending on a positive note, the story was educational. I think that aspect was part of what Caidin enjoyed most about writing the story, as there's an afterword where he discusses some of the topics brought up in the story. These include Arthurian legends, about both Avalon and Excalibur, about Stonehenge and phenomena Caidin's observed there. He talks about the actual Graf Zeppelin, about the British offering gold and convoy protection to the Confederacy for cotton, and finally about the Moebius strip, which Indy uses to explain an odd situation he and some of the other characters are experiencing. Per Caidin's instructions, I tried, and it's awesome how a piece of paper can be made to only have one side.
* Excluding the 1912 sequence with Young Indy at the start of The Last Crusade, Temple of Doom is set the earliest, 1935 according to Wikipedia. For some reason, I thought it was 1933.
Thursday, March 04, 2010
Little Kinky Spidey, But If Felicia's OK With It. . .
The first non-recap page in Amazing Spider-Man #622 starts with him in bed with the Black Cat, as he learns she sold the vial of blood he asked her to lift from Mr. Negative in the previous issue. Curiously, both characters are wearing their masks.
My first thought was that Spidey's getting ready to leave, and that's when Felicia decided to drop this little bombshell. People do that, it's natural. They worry how the other person will react, so they put off telling them until the last moment. There were some problems with that theory. One, if Spidey's getting ready to leave, why does Felicia have her mask on? It's likely her place they're at (I can't see Spider-Man bringing a notorious cat burglar back to the apartment he shares with someone), so she wouldn't need to leave. Two, Felicia seems mostly exasperated with Peter's reaction to the news, so the idea she was worried about telling him doesn't hold water. Three, from past comics, Spider-Man tends to put on his mask last when suiting up. I think it has to do with there being a difference between Peter Parker and Spider-Man, and as long as you can see his face, he's still Peter. Or maybe it's easier to put the rest of the costume on with the mask off.
Either way, I didn't think that was the reason. Then I remembered we're back to Felicia only being interested in Spider-Man, and not the man beneath the mask. Given that, I could see Felicia asking him to keep the mask on. I had a harder time seeing Spider-Man going along with it. That was what broke them up in the first place. He wanted her to be a part of his entire life, she wanted nothing to do with Peter Parker. I couldn't rule out that instead of Felicia learning to like the guy under the costume, Peter had stopped caring that she didn't, but it seemed strange.
Then I read Chris Sims' write-up on Super-Heroines for Comics Alliance, and I learn it's Spider-Man's idea to keep his mask on, because he can't let her learn his secret identity. Oh Spider-Man. He'll tell the Avengers. He'll tell the Fantastic Four. He'll even try to tell Daredevil, only to have DD point out Spidey's being an idiot by telling anyone, but he won't tell the lady he's at least occasionally sleeping with? I guess the good news is, he took Daredevil's advice to heart, and is trying to keep the identity secret. I question his process for determining who to clue in, and who to leave in the dark, though.
I'm not angry or offended by this development, I mostly find it curious. There's nothing wrong with a purely physical relationship, or a couple (if you can call Spidey and the Cat a couple) keeping secrets from each other. Those things go on all the time in the real world, sometimes in conjunction with each other, sometimes not, why not in comics? Peter kept secrets for a long time in his relationships. Never told Gwen he was Spider-Man, never told Deb Whitman or Betty Brant, MJ had to tell him she figured it out on her own, so on. But keeping secrets bothered Peter, in that comic book melodrama way, and the relationships only went so far*. It surprises me Peter Parker would sleep with a woman who has interest in only part of who he is. Especially when even he wonders why he's doing it. If you can't figure it out Peter, then stop! Oliver Queen, Hal Jordan, Logan, Tony Stark, I can see all of them taking that route. Maybe not Logan, but more because he'd think it was stupid to leave the mask on, as opposed to any worries about secret identities. It's just harder for me to see it with Spider-Man.
Granted, if a woman who looked like Felicia Hardy asked me to sleep with her, but I have to wear a Spider-Man mask, I'd probably say yes**. Then again, part of the appeal of Peter Parker/Spider-Man for me was he has problems regular people have, plus problems only costumed vigilantes would have, and yet he perseveres***. He tries to do the right thing, while other people might do the easy thing. So I can relate to him, but I can also see how to try and be better. He's not my character, though, and the writers seem to want to go this way, and use the relationship for comedic purposes. I have to admit, watching Felicia fluster Spider-Man is amusing.
Still seems odd.
* At least explicitly. I've seen debates online about whether Peter and Gwen's relationship progressed to intimacy before the end. Don't know if it's been stated one way or the other.
** Assuming fear I'd wake up without a kidney didn't win out. Strange, attractive woman asks me to wear a mask while we get to business, I'd think something was up.
*** Plus, he has a cool array of powers, cool costumes, and he can be witty in high-pressure situations.
My first thought was that Spidey's getting ready to leave, and that's when Felicia decided to drop this little bombshell. People do that, it's natural. They worry how the other person will react, so they put off telling them until the last moment. There were some problems with that theory. One, if Spidey's getting ready to leave, why does Felicia have her mask on? It's likely her place they're at (I can't see Spider-Man bringing a notorious cat burglar back to the apartment he shares with someone), so she wouldn't need to leave. Two, Felicia seems mostly exasperated with Peter's reaction to the news, so the idea she was worried about telling him doesn't hold water. Three, from past comics, Spider-Man tends to put on his mask last when suiting up. I think it has to do with there being a difference between Peter Parker and Spider-Man, and as long as you can see his face, he's still Peter. Or maybe it's easier to put the rest of the costume on with the mask off.
Either way, I didn't think that was the reason. Then I remembered we're back to Felicia only being interested in Spider-Man, and not the man beneath the mask. Given that, I could see Felicia asking him to keep the mask on. I had a harder time seeing Spider-Man going along with it. That was what broke them up in the first place. He wanted her to be a part of his entire life, she wanted nothing to do with Peter Parker. I couldn't rule out that instead of Felicia learning to like the guy under the costume, Peter had stopped caring that she didn't, but it seemed strange.
Then I read Chris Sims' write-up on Super-Heroines for Comics Alliance, and I learn it's Spider-Man's idea to keep his mask on, because he can't let her learn his secret identity. Oh Spider-Man. He'll tell the Avengers. He'll tell the Fantastic Four. He'll even try to tell Daredevil, only to have DD point out Spidey's being an idiot by telling anyone, but he won't tell the lady he's at least occasionally sleeping with? I guess the good news is, he took Daredevil's advice to heart, and is trying to keep the identity secret. I question his process for determining who to clue in, and who to leave in the dark, though.
I'm not angry or offended by this development, I mostly find it curious. There's nothing wrong with a purely physical relationship, or a couple (if you can call Spidey and the Cat a couple) keeping secrets from each other. Those things go on all the time in the real world, sometimes in conjunction with each other, sometimes not, why not in comics? Peter kept secrets for a long time in his relationships. Never told Gwen he was Spider-Man, never told Deb Whitman or Betty Brant, MJ had to tell him she figured it out on her own, so on. But keeping secrets bothered Peter, in that comic book melodrama way, and the relationships only went so far*. It surprises me Peter Parker would sleep with a woman who has interest in only part of who he is. Especially when even he wonders why he's doing it. If you can't figure it out Peter, then stop! Oliver Queen, Hal Jordan, Logan, Tony Stark, I can see all of them taking that route. Maybe not Logan, but more because he'd think it was stupid to leave the mask on, as opposed to any worries about secret identities. It's just harder for me to see it with Spider-Man.
Granted, if a woman who looked like Felicia Hardy asked me to sleep with her, but I have to wear a Spider-Man mask, I'd probably say yes**. Then again, part of the appeal of Peter Parker/Spider-Man for me was he has problems regular people have, plus problems only costumed vigilantes would have, and yet he perseveres***. He tries to do the right thing, while other people might do the easy thing. So I can relate to him, but I can also see how to try and be better. He's not my character, though, and the writers seem to want to go this way, and use the relationship for comedic purposes. I have to admit, watching Felicia fluster Spider-Man is amusing.
Still seems odd.
* At least explicitly. I've seen debates online about whether Peter and Gwen's relationship progressed to intimacy before the end. Don't know if it's been stated one way or the other.
** Assuming fear I'd wake up without a kidney didn't win out. Strange, attractive woman asks me to wear a mask while we get to business, I'd think something was up.
*** Plus, he has a cool array of powers, cool costumes, and he can be witty in high-pressure situations.
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
She's Pulled Cupid's Arrow Out, And She's Stabbing People With It
You get the feeling Mr. Negative's going to end up destroying Aunt May's marriage?
He's made Aunt May into Evil Aunt May, and I'm getting the feeling Jameson Sr. is starting to wonder if she isn't the kind woman he thought she was when they got hitched. He was as surprised and appalled as Peter was when she tore into him. Then she gave her relatives (and Harry) the boot out of a house she's not even living in. The recap pages keep telling us she's treating the people at the shelter so badly they'd rather go back to the streets. On and on. I'm actually surprised she didn't bite Jay's head off when he mentioned he was the one who found her relatives so they could reconnect.
It's only a matter of time before he does something that does draw her ire, and depending on what it is, that might be the breaking point. I could see Jay, worried that money really does change people, and thus reasoning that it's his fault May's changed, getting rid of his fortune, and then May tearing into him when he tells her. Heck, if he does that, Evil May might divorce him.
Which would be too bad. One would hope Mr. Li (Mr. Negative's alter ego) would at least feel bad about causing it. If Aunt May has to be alive, and she can't know Peter's Spider-Man, I'd rather she was at least in a happy marriage, so we don't have as much of Peter worrying about his lonely Aunt May. Plus, the idea of Peter and Jonah being in-laws now is funny.
He's made Aunt May into Evil Aunt May, and I'm getting the feeling Jameson Sr. is starting to wonder if she isn't the kind woman he thought she was when they got hitched. He was as surprised and appalled as Peter was when she tore into him. Then she gave her relatives (and Harry) the boot out of a house she's not even living in. The recap pages keep telling us she's treating the people at the shelter so badly they'd rather go back to the streets. On and on. I'm actually surprised she didn't bite Jay's head off when he mentioned he was the one who found her relatives so they could reconnect.
It's only a matter of time before he does something that does draw her ire, and depending on what it is, that might be the breaking point. I could see Jay, worried that money really does change people, and thus reasoning that it's his fault May's changed, getting rid of his fortune, and then May tearing into him when he tells her. Heck, if he does that, Evil May might divorce him.
Which would be too bad. One would hope Mr. Li (Mr. Negative's alter ego) would at least feel bad about causing it. If Aunt May has to be alive, and she can't know Peter's Spider-Man, I'd rather she was at least in a happy marriage, so we don't have as much of Peter worrying about his lonely Aunt May. Plus, the idea of Peter and Jonah being in-laws now is funny.
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
Call Your Travel Agent Now! Do People Still Have Travel Agents?
Good afternoon, ladies and gents! It's time for my annual post letting you know about the upcoming Cape Girardeau Comic Convention!
I realize I waited far too late to make this post last year, and you didn't have enough time to clear your schedules. Well this year you won't have that excuse! The convention's May 1st and 2nd, so you've got a whole two months to get ready and tell anyone who asks you to do something that weekend to take their plans and walk off pier with them!
I know you folks are quietly excited, but I want you loudly excited. Let me hear the excitement! Start clapping if you're excited!
Adorable Baby Panda: You used the 'clap if you believe' bit last year.
I did? *checks last year's post* I did. Man, that hucksterism was terrible. Fine, we'll do it this way. People, give me a sign you're excited or. . . the baby panda gets it!
Adorable Baby Panda: What?!
Don't worry, they'll get excited.
Adorable Baby Panda: What if they don't? Are you gonna kill me?!
Kill you? Who said anything about killing? Blog Editor Calvin would never allow Post Writing Calvin to kill you. I only said you were gonna 'get it'.
Adorable Baby Panda: Then what's 'it'?
I dunno. Algebra homework?
Adorable Baby Panda: People, you have to start getting excited! He's crazy enough to do it!
That's right! In x + 3/4y = 2, what is y if x is 17? SHOW YOUR WORK! Mwa-ha-ha!
Adorable Baby Panda: No more!
Enough skylarking. I figured I should try something other than my inner Stan Lee to promote it this year, and hopefully entertain you in the process. Speaking seriously, I hope that you will find some time to come to the convention. I know travel is expensive, but if you're clever, I bet you can convince your bosses it's in the best interests of your company for you to make a trip to Cape Girardeau the first weekend of May. Unless you are the boss, in which case you don't have to convince anyone, you can do what you want.
Ken's still updating the page as he gets more confirmation on who's going to show, but if you go to the website you can see his two special guests.
I realize I waited far too late to make this post last year, and you didn't have enough time to clear your schedules. Well this year you won't have that excuse! The convention's May 1st and 2nd, so you've got a whole two months to get ready and tell anyone who asks you to do something that weekend to take their plans and walk off pier with them!
I know you folks are quietly excited, but I want you loudly excited. Let me hear the excitement! Start clapping if you're excited!
Adorable Baby Panda: You used the 'clap if you believe' bit last year.
I did? *checks last year's post* I did. Man, that hucksterism was terrible. Fine, we'll do it this way. People, give me a sign you're excited or. . . the baby panda gets it!
Adorable Baby Panda: What?!
Don't worry, they'll get excited.
Adorable Baby Panda: What if they don't? Are you gonna kill me?!
Kill you? Who said anything about killing? Blog Editor Calvin would never allow Post Writing Calvin to kill you. I only said you were gonna 'get it'.
Adorable Baby Panda: Then what's 'it'?
I dunno. Algebra homework?
Adorable Baby Panda: People, you have to start getting excited! He's crazy enough to do it!
That's right! In x + 3/4y = 2, what is y if x is 17? SHOW YOUR WORK! Mwa-ha-ha!
Adorable Baby Panda: No more!
Enough skylarking. I figured I should try something other than my inner Stan Lee to promote it this year, and hopefully entertain you in the process. Speaking seriously, I hope that you will find some time to come to the convention. I know travel is expensive, but if you're clever, I bet you can convince your bosses it's in the best interests of your company for you to make a trip to Cape Girardeau the first weekend of May. Unless you are the boss, in which case you don't have to convince anyone, you can do what you want.
Ken's still updating the page as he gets more confirmation on who's going to show, but if you go to the website you can see his two special guests.
Monday, March 01, 2010
Big Round Of Applause For The Returning Cast Member
CalvinPitt: {First batch of new comics in three weeks, jeez, that little panda's gonna be outta control.} *Knock at the door. Calvin sighs* {It begins.} *Calvin walks to the door uncertainly. He reaches out and grasps the door knob. Swiftly, he turns the knob, and flings the door open with a jerk, leaping behind it as he does so. Eyes shut, Calvin awaits the sounds of chaos.* {Hmm, where's that hyperactive ball of fur?} *Calvin feels a tug at his leg. He opens his eyes and looks down.*
Adorable Baby Panda: Hello Calvin. How are you?
Calvin: {I'm fine. How you doin'?} *ABP takes a couple of steps into the room so Calvin can let the door shut.*
ABP: Quite well, thank you for asking. I understand there are some comic to look over?
Calvin: {Yeah, they're right over here.} *Calvin begins to cross the room.*
ABP: Smashing. *ABP follows Calvin across the room.*
Calvin: {Say, are you sure you're OK? You're more subdued than I expected.} *Calvin picks up the stack of comics, and turns to face ABP.*
ABP: So I gathered from how you opened the door. I've grown up in the time since we last spoke. I can't be bounding around like a silly child anymore. I'm almost 3 and a half, after all.
Calvin: {I suppose. But you know, once you start acting all grown up, it's hard to go back. Until you go senile, and that's more because you can't remember how to act grown up, as opposed to choosing not to act grown up.}
ABP: Really?
Calvin: {Yep. If you're not careful, you'll wind up morose, like me. If that's your preference, we can put away these comics, and here, you can read this issue of the Journal of Wildlife Management. Say, a paper on the effect of stand width and adjacent habitat on breeding bird communities in bottomland hardwoods! Sounds pretty gripping.}
ABP: Nooooo! I want to stay young! Let me at those comics! *ABP hurtles at Calvin, bowling him over and scattering the comics. The youth then picks up the comics and hugs them.*
Calvin: {Cut that out, you're ruining their resale value!}
ABP: *Mouth agape* Are you serious?!
Calvin: {Not at all, I just wanted keep jerking your chain.}
Jerk. {Wow, we really dragged that out.} Yeah, but I haven't been here, so we had to celebrate my return! {Of course. The taut political roundtable discussion must be preceded by vaudeville.} What are you talking about? {I don't know. Let's move on before I figure it out.}
I'm giving Power Girl a Hug. {You always want to give Power Girl hugs.} You're just jealous, because you aren't cute, and so people don't want to hug you back. {*sniff* Cutting to the quick, are we? Was my comment about resale value really so mean?} I was just kidding! Really! I bet Power Girl would give you a hug. Especially if we go save her from Satanna! I need to Bonk Satanna again anyway. {Tempting as your proposal is. I think Terra has the saving Peej job in hand. And your last run-in with Satanna doesn't seem to have improved her attitude.} None of the times I hit Tony Stark made him less of a butthead, either. It was still fun to hit him. {And it was fun to watch.} It was, wasn't it? I'm glad you started bringing a video camera. Well, Terra's helping her friend, so Applause for her. Do you think Amanda Waller would accept a hug? {Yes, so she can insert an explosive chip in the back of your head.} Oh. maybe a long-distance Hug, then.
I think Spider-Man needs Applause, Hugs, and Bonks. {Alright, trifecta from way downtown, baby!} What? {Crap, I channeled Dick Vitale! Hit me! Now!} OK. *hits Calvin. Calvin is knocked out of his chair.* He's so strange sometimes. Helping Spider-Man get his blood back means Applause for Black Cat, but selling means she has to get a Bonk. You can't sell another person's blood! I know it's Mr. Negative's fault, so he's getting a Bonk, but I'm tired of mean Aunt May, so a Bonk for her too. {Before you do that, let me alert the hospitals. It'll probably trigger her 400th heart failure. Which means she gets a free IV stand! Jackpot!} Do you need me to hit you again? {No more than normal.} So, yes? {No.} Darn.
Well Magus is going to destroy the universe, so that has to earn a Bonk. Blastaar didn't act crazy or violent, Applause for Blastaar! {King Blastaar, if you please.} Right, King Blastaar. Hit-Monkey needs a hug. {Bull! It killed 3 people and shot Spider-Man! Those are bonkable offenses if I've ever heard of them!} But it's sad! {So what?} Can I Hug it if I also Bonk it? {If you have to.} Deadpool wearing a maid's outfit earns a Bonk. {At least he kept his costume on under it. We don't need a repeat of the Marvel Girl costume incident. *shudders*}
Adorable Baby Panda: Hello Calvin. How are you?
Calvin: {I'm fine. How you doin'?} *ABP takes a couple of steps into the room so Calvin can let the door shut.*
ABP: Quite well, thank you for asking. I understand there are some comic to look over?
Calvin: {Yeah, they're right over here.} *Calvin begins to cross the room.*
ABP: Smashing. *ABP follows Calvin across the room.*
Calvin: {Say, are you sure you're OK? You're more subdued than I expected.} *Calvin picks up the stack of comics, and turns to face ABP.*
ABP: So I gathered from how you opened the door. I've grown up in the time since we last spoke. I can't be bounding around like a silly child anymore. I'm almost 3 and a half, after all.
Calvin: {I suppose. But you know, once you start acting all grown up, it's hard to go back. Until you go senile, and that's more because you can't remember how to act grown up, as opposed to choosing not to act grown up.}
ABP: Really?
Calvin: {Yep. If you're not careful, you'll wind up morose, like me. If that's your preference, we can put away these comics, and here, you can read this issue of the Journal of Wildlife Management. Say, a paper on the effect of stand width and adjacent habitat on breeding bird communities in bottomland hardwoods! Sounds pretty gripping.}
ABP: Nooooo! I want to stay young! Let me at those comics! *ABP hurtles at Calvin, bowling him over and scattering the comics. The youth then picks up the comics and hugs them.*
Calvin: {Cut that out, you're ruining their resale value!}
ABP: *Mouth agape* Are you serious?!
Calvin: {Not at all, I just wanted keep jerking your chain.}
Jerk. {Wow, we really dragged that out.} Yeah, but I haven't been here, so we had to celebrate my return! {Of course. The taut political roundtable discussion must be preceded by vaudeville.} What are you talking about? {I don't know. Let's move on before I figure it out.}
I'm giving Power Girl a Hug. {You always want to give Power Girl hugs.} You're just jealous, because you aren't cute, and so people don't want to hug you back. {*sniff* Cutting to the quick, are we? Was my comment about resale value really so mean?} I was just kidding! Really! I bet Power Girl would give you a hug. Especially if we go save her from Satanna! I need to Bonk Satanna again anyway. {Tempting as your proposal is. I think Terra has the saving Peej job in hand. And your last run-in with Satanna doesn't seem to have improved her attitude.} None of the times I hit Tony Stark made him less of a butthead, either. It was still fun to hit him. {And it was fun to watch.} It was, wasn't it? I'm glad you started bringing a video camera. Well, Terra's helping her friend, so Applause for her. Do you think Amanda Waller would accept a hug? {Yes, so she can insert an explosive chip in the back of your head.} Oh. maybe a long-distance Hug, then.
I think Spider-Man needs Applause, Hugs, and Bonks. {Alright, trifecta from way downtown, baby!} What? {Crap, I channeled Dick Vitale! Hit me! Now!} OK. *hits Calvin. Calvin is knocked out of his chair.* He's so strange sometimes. Helping Spider-Man get his blood back means Applause for Black Cat, but selling means she has to get a Bonk. You can't sell another person's blood! I know it's Mr. Negative's fault, so he's getting a Bonk, but I'm tired of mean Aunt May, so a Bonk for her too. {Before you do that, let me alert the hospitals. It'll probably trigger her 400th heart failure. Which means she gets a free IV stand! Jackpot!} Do you need me to hit you again? {No more than normal.} So, yes? {No.} Darn.
Well Magus is going to destroy the universe, so that has to earn a Bonk. Blastaar didn't act crazy or violent, Applause for Blastaar! {King Blastaar, if you please.} Right, King Blastaar. Hit-Monkey needs a hug. {Bull! It killed 3 people and shot Spider-Man! Those are bonkable offenses if I've ever heard of them!} But it's sad! {So what?} Can I Hug it if I also Bonk it? {If you have to.} Deadpool wearing a maid's outfit earns a Bonk. {At least he kept his costume on under it. We don't need a repeat of the Marvel Girl costume incident. *shudders*}
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