What I Bought 5/3/06

The jury is out on my Field Botany final. There was a moment today, Bornstein is driving the van to pick us up and take us farther down the road (to I.D. more plants), and we all stepped off the road. I was a little closer than most, and he mock-swerved at me. I didn't move. He went within 18 inches of my face. Weird moment. Not sure what that means, if anything. I may just have been sleepy. Two DC books this week, what the hell? Very early impressions, I kind of went through them in a hurry, spoiler warnings.

Supergirl #6 - Hey, I bought it for Power Girl alright? And I was not disappointed, as she was indeed cool in this issue. Very mentory to a Kara that still appears to have anger issues. Nice adult presence.

So they're in Kandor, and right off I'm confused. I thought Kandor was a city in a bottle, the last vestiges of Krypton. So why is this place riddled with aliens that don't appear to be Kryptonian?

Also, said non-Kryptonians are downtrodden and generally treated as second-class by the "true children" of Kal-El. Apparently, the downtrodden haven't converted, and are "urged" to do so, or suffer, naturally. Kara and Karen seem to be defending them, while keeping their identities secret. But Kara may have blown that with a little individual expression. I'm curious as to why Power Girl said their powers are limited in here. I remeber Kandor being under a red sun, which would suggest no powers. Clearly not the case. What's going on?

I'm not disappointed in this book, so I guess I should say "Behold the power of Rucka!" Or maybe it should be "Behold the power of well-written Power Girl!" She's awesome. 4 out of 5.

Teen Titans #35 - OK, last issue I bitched long and loud about this team. Not going to do that. This is the team Johns has made, there's no point in complaining about the roster. So I'll just talk about the book.

So Tim still can't clone Conner. Good. He needs to stop trying. Seriously, clones only lead to massive confusion. I'm a Spider-Man fan who lived through the "Clone Saga", I know these things. Also, Rose Wilson is a little frisky. I'm not sure what to make of that. I don't have much exposure to her, so I can't tell whether this should be abnormal for her or not. Pretty much every time I see her, she's trying to kill a character I like, so her being drunk and horny on Tim is probably an improvement.

Wonder Girl has taken it upon herself to stop the Brotherhood of Evil. Apparently they want to clone the Brain a new body, so he and Mallah can be together. I am opposed to Evil Genius-Gorilla marriages, call me close-minded if you must, that's just how I was raised. I gotta tell you, I still think Cassandra looks a lot older than she did before. Maybe it's the lack of exposed belly button?

Anyway, she agrees to work with the Titans, though I think Tim has ulterior motives for offering to help. What am I saying? Of course he has ulterior motives, he's Batman Jr.! Getting angry. . .

Oh yeah, guest appearence by the Doom Patrol, if that's important to you. Me? Not so much. This one gets a lower grade because I'm disappointed in the Brotherhood's plot, assuming they were serious. If they have something bigger planned, then I may raise the score retroactively. 2.6 out of 5.

Exiles #80 - So I was wrong. Power Princess did survive the Two Angry Hulks. She got her ass kicked right along with the rest of the team, but she's still breathing. Good for her. It's a little amusing to see the Exiles focusing so much on defeating the Maestro, instead of Proteus-possesed Hulk of 2099. Priorities people, remember who you're here to kill?

I tell you, when Sabretooth tried clawing the Maestro, I had the same reaction as the Big Guy: What the hell good did you think that was going to do? Man, really strong, smart and ruthless Hulk is pretty scary. So it goes back and forth, the Exiles trying to gain an upper hand, then getting pummeled, then getting bailed out by Proteus, then trying to stop Proteus. Only one small problem: he got himself a new body, and it may just be the best one for him.

I'm having a lot of fun with this. 4.3 out of 5, because I realized that they have a recap page at the start of every issue, but they still devote part of the story to recapping what's gone on in the past few issues.

And yet, they still get more done than most Bendis books. Oh yeah, next month, Heroes Reborn! Uh, whee?

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #8 - So apparently this issue is either fallout from Wanda screwing with reality, or it's a precursor to whatever Jamie Braddock was babbling about in that Uncanny X-Men a few weeks ago. We get to see what happens to Peter if Aunt May died by falling down the stairs, instead of Uncle Ben getting shot by a burglar. Apparently, Peter becoming a money-loving jackass. He also stars in crappy movies, where he fights a guy named "Lord Doom" and uses a lightsaber. No, I'm not kidding, though I (and Ben apparently) wish I was.

So Ben goes home after the movie, except his home is destroyed. Has been for a few months. And one of the cops that tells him this is the one that was on the scene for. . . Ben Parker's death. Oh jeez. Ben is understandably confused. You want to know who helps him out? You really want to know? He attacks Spidey at the end of the issue, and he uses a glider. OK, I'll tell you.

It's the Hobgoblin of 2211. There, now that you know, you won't buy this book, and you can avoid it like the plague. 0.9 out of 5.

The Punisher #33 - Alright, this issue is very simple. The big twisted dude we've seen sporadically in the first two issues is getting ready to go to New York to kill Castle. But wait, Frank just arrived in Miami, and walked right by the Barracuda. Barracuda gets the drop on him. Brings Frank to his house. Frank is prepared though, and the fight begins.

And I mean FIGHT. This was hardcore, like his first go-round with the Russian. Like Ali-Frazier. Like Penguins versus Pandas. Frank is using everything he can find: knife he bought at the airport, hatchet, barbed wire, fence post. Barracuda opts to just beat Frank up with his fists, or maybe his skull.

That's it, that's pretty much the whole issue. Sure, there's some stuff concerning the C.E.O., the right-hand lackey that's getting banged by C.E.O.'s wife (because she is clearly in charge), and how C.E.O.-Man knew Frank was on his way to Miami. But no one cares about that do they? The only thing that hurts this score is that Ennis got a little too graphic with some of his descriptions, and it jarred me out of the story a bit. 4.7 out of 5.

Ultimate Spider-Man #94 - Well, that solves the Mystery of "The Final Panel of Ultimate Spider-Man #93". It was odd, when Peter hit Deadpool, the art looked a little more old school for a panel. The eyes on the mask seemed smaller, like we were back to those days where they alter to match Peter's facial expressions. Was that old-school, or was that just Erik Larsen? I still don't mind it either way, it just seemed different from Bagley's usual.

As for the issue? Wall-to-wall fighting goodness. There is some talk (big surprise!) about where Xavier is, and what will happen to him, courtesy of Mojo. I got to admit, some of Mojo's points, about Xavier appearing to build a terrorist cell, are arguable and have been made by people here in the blogs, kalinara, I believe to name one. Chuck talks about unity, but cloisters his students in a school, teaching them how to use their powers in battle situations. Sure, he's got reasons (protect themselves and others), but it can be easy to misconstrue it as something else.

Where was I? Oh yeah, the fighting. Deadpool is seriously pissed at Spidey. He wants him dead. Silly, lame-ass Ultimate Deadpool, this is Spidey's title! You can't kill him! They try though, and Kitty proceeds to open up a big ole' can of whup-ass on the Reavers, disrupting electronics left and right. We also see Deadpool's face, and well, ugh.

So, the day is saved, X-Men and Spidey escape, with Xavier having apparently done something painful to his captors. I kind of like it when they portray Xavier as vindictive. It's cool. Peter's all set to tell Aunt May about his secret identity, figuring his girlfriend was on T.V. worldwide, he's pretty much got to. But what's this? A date? With MILES WARREN?!

Oh no. Oh hell no. Please no, please Bendis, I'm begging you. You'll destroy it all, if you go down this path, please don't, I'm on my kne. . . oh you wanted to know the score? Well, last page aside, good stuff, and I don't know that I should penalize this issue for the stupid shit that is being foreshadowed in it, so 4.6 out of 5. If you don't mind, I need to get back to pleading with Bendis.