Thursday, December 14, 2006

Hugs + Applause = Panda Alert

High five! Intimidating Mama Panda is nowhere to be found, so it's party time! ABP has some hugs and applause for the following fictional folks:

Applause: Caitlin Lieber, who runs the St. Andrews shelter, admitted that she gave up hope on being able to help Betty Forest, and moved on. While giving up is generally frowned upon by the pandas, Caitlin has vowed to help Betty through her new difficulties, thus the applause, since it's surely going to be harder to help her this time.

Applause and Hugs: For Betty Forest, the need for hugs should be evident. She needs somebody to make her feel better. The applause comes from her dialogue. Seriously, 'I was reborn as the chill of winter, the harshness of sudden fear, and the desolation of a lost soul'? Pure poetry. {Psychotic poetry, but poetry nonetheless}.

Applause: Grandmaster, both of them, for their little contest which gave us Exiles vs. Exiles, and eventually Exiles versus Grandmaster (singular). The whole "Cosmic beings using heroes as playthings" is an old standard, but that doesn't mean it isn't fun. {More fun than when cosmic beings throw hissy fits and just strike everyone dead. I would have just given applause to Grandmaster of Earth-33629, especially for letting the humans have a crack at the other Grandmaster. That's me though}.

Hugs: Tony Bedard, who clearly has been tied to a chair and forced to watch VH1 recently. {Ziggy Stardust? Loverboy? Poor guy}.

Applause: Ultimate Cyclops. Not for sharing concerns with Bobby, or for being so gung-ho to rescue Jean. Nope, this one is for the noticeable stubble that Cyclops is sporting. {Sure, it's probably been there before, but it really drew our eyes this month.} Who knew Scott Summers possessed enough testosterone to grow facial hair?

Applause: Adorable Baby Panda wanted to give Ultimate Rogue a hug, but was worried her arm might fall off {I think the bigger concern is her absorbing ABP's memories and abilities. Humans aren't meant to possess panda powers}. Anyway, being forced to return to a locale with many horrible memories for her, and then being mutilated seconds later, some kind of appreciation needed to be shown.

Applause: Rictor, not so much for being a typical heterosexual male and demanding details about Siryn and Monet. More for that awesome line about him and Pietro. Hilarious {Probably want to avoid using it when your conversation buddy's drinking though, as Ric found out}.

Applause: Jamie, for his eventual comebacker about Shatterstar. Thing of beauty. {ABP was adamant about no hugs for Madrox. Something about needing to learn his lesson about getting drunk and making libidinous duplicates. Adorable Baby Pandas are weird about that kind of thing}.

Hugs: To the polar bears in the zoo. New York City is no place for polar bears {Unless we're talking New York City in that stupid Day After Tomorrow movie. What a load of crap, and that's coming from someone who wants science in Vin Diesel movies to make sense}.

So who did you see that needs a hug, and who deserves some applause?

4 comments:

Marc Burkhardt said...

Well, certainly not Professor X (and Robert Kirkman) for dredging up that whole creepy "in love with Jean" thing that Stan Lee was smart enough to ditch after one panel.

I'll say Blade, because he felt bad after blowing the head off of the department store Santa who was possessed by a demon.

He may have no soul, but the man has a heart.

SallyP said...

I'd say poor old Ralph Dibney, could really use a hug. Poor Ralph.

And Guy Garnder for inhaling an alien virus and have it grow into a worm and come out his ear. Disgusting...and yet oddly fascinating.

CalvinPitt said...

fortress: Yeah, that was pretty high up on the creepy scale.

And Blade doesn't have a soul? Is he a full vampire now, or a half-vampire? Either way, feeling bad about killing Santas is a good thing.

sallyp: Yeah, Ralph doesn't seem to be in a good place now. And fortunately there was nothing in Guy's head for the worm to eat, or it would have never left!

Thank you, I'll be here all the week!

SallyP said...

Well, to be fair, I think the results would have been the same with Hal too. Heh heh.